BOOOOO  10:38 am March 2, 2012

How Will Ghost Andrew Breitbart Haunt Obama From Beyond the Grave?

by Rebecca Schoenkopf

Prematurely dead Internet pioneer Andrew Breitbart was working on something major before he died, his unpleasant underlings told LA Weekly. Now there’s video from CPAC of Breitbart planning a video (terror) attack that will Bring Down the Obama Presidency! “I’ve got video, from his college days,” Breitbart crows to a rapt yet hooting crowd of geezers. WHAT DO YOU THINK IT COULD BE? This is just like Easter, with Breitbart as Jesus (everyone knows that) rising up and giving us sick-making treats! Does the video show the president smoking while getting it on with white ladies? Is he smoking crack while getting it on with white ladies? Or maybe it’s that colorful felon who has claimed so many times he sexed up Barry in a limousine, for communism?

No, it’s just Barry plotting with boring old Bill and Bernadine Dohrn (not even Bill Ayers!), conspiring with “silver ponytail” college professors to take over the presidency. Well, at least Michelle Malkin will be excited, we guess.

Bonus Easter egg for the superfan: Breitbart spends special scorn on Dohrn and Obama plotting with money from the Annenberg Challenge — “They had real money, from real Capitalists!” said Breitbart, which, yes, “Who gave it on to their children, and their children’s children, who became Communists. We’ve gotta work on that.” Mostly, the Annenbergs these days fund lovely little panels about urban design, and also gigantic journalism schools. You could maybe see why that would have bothered Mr. Breitbart, the man who just moments later delights in cleverly calling Harvard “Beirut on the Charles” and also who, duh, hates journalism.

We will be very excited to see Mr. Breitbart’s last scoop. We are sure it will be a good one, and not at all a poorly edited smearfest that falls apart at the very first look! [YouTube]

 
Related video

Hola wonkerados.

To improve site performance, we did a thing. It could be up to three minutes before your comment appears. DON'T KEEP RETRYING, OKAY?

Also, if you are a new commenter, your comment may never appear. This is probably because we hate you.

{ 172 comments }

chascates March 2, 2012 at 10:39 am

James O'Keefe will channel Andy's snarling, slurring bullshit.

Maman March 2, 2012 at 11:05 am

Jimmy doesn't have the wit

Generation[redacted] March 2, 2012 at 12:01 pm

And he shits his pants when confronted by a college professor.

No, we need another shouty, mean drunk for this gig.

chascates March 2, 2012 at 12:40 pm

George W. Bush?

Loaded_Pants March 2, 2012 at 1:53 pm

Boehner?

Callyson March 2, 2012 at 10:41 am

"They plotted, and they plotted, and they oversaw hundreds of millions of dollars…"
Yes, the banksters were awful in the W years (and still are), weren't they?
Wait, you were talking about something else?

Mahousu March 2, 2012 at 10:42 am

Welcome, Rebecca!

P.S. Pix plz. No, not Breitbart coffin ones.

Barrelhse March 2, 2012 at 11:20 am

(I hope she talks dirty.)

Naked_Bunny March 2, 2012 at 12:21 pm

Naked pix, or she didn't happen.

(???)

2161911 March 2, 2012 at 10:42 am

Now who's gonna keep little Jimmy O'Keefe out of the hoosegow?

Designer_Rants March 2, 2012 at 10:42 am

Can ACORN rise from the dead too? You know, since it was crucified by a by a politically corrupt sub-regime on trumped-up charges and all…

GOPCrusher March 2, 2012 at 12:25 pm

The new tactical arm of Planned Parenthood.

memzilla March 2, 2012 at 10:43 am

Meh. I've got video that proves Andrew Breitfart is an over-exposed, hate- filled, prematurely dead a**hat, and you don't see Drudge Sirens™ going off about that.

Rosie_Scenario March 2, 2012 at 10:43 am

I hear Vince Foster appears in the video. Also, too. And Obama is shown creating his forged birth certificate. This video is like Einstein's unifying theory of conspiracies.

Barrelhse March 2, 2012 at 11:22 am

Marion Barry has a cameo role, too.

C_R_Eature March 2, 2012 at 11:43 am

And the Bitch that set him up!

Chet Kincaid March 2, 2012 at 11:26 am

It features a young Barry and Osama Bin Laden playing Pong in a cave in Afghanistan.

Fare la Volpe March 2, 2012 at 11:57 am

WITH BILDEBERG PADDLES!!

Generation[redacted] March 2, 2012 at 12:03 pm

Wheels within wheels. Obvs Fince Foster faked his own death so he could go around knocking off Barry's critics one by one. Fiendishly clever.

Pat_Pending March 2, 2012 at 12:24 pm

There are cameos by Jimmy Hoffa, Amelia Earhart, and Bigfoot. On a grassy knoll. Also.

Pat_Pending March 2, 2012 at 12:26 pm

OOOH!!! And Natalie Holloway was sacrificially MURDERED BY COMMIES IN ARUBA!!! BAD BARRY!

Ruhe March 2, 2012 at 10:43 am

“Who gave it on to their children, and their children’s children, who became Communists. We’ve gotta work on that."

There it is…another whiff of that new American Piety. Not wanting to amass and maintain fortunes is a sin.

MrFizzy March 2, 2012 at 10:44 am

What's the opposite of an outpouring of emotion? Doesn't seem like anyone really gives a shit about this cretin dying. At least we weren't subjected to a lengthy and disingenuous pre-death apology, a la Lee Atwater.

Designer_Rants March 2, 2012 at 10:49 am

Oh.. And my heart was all ready to start pumping purple piss for his deathbed conversion to a less-than-abjectly-despicable human-type-thing.

MrFizzy March 2, 2012 at 10:54 am

That would have been a significant move upward for him.

LiveToServeYa March 2, 2012 at 10:57 am

An outpouring of apathy.

MrFizzy March 2, 2012 at 10:58 am

Now that is excellent!

GeorgiaBurning March 2, 2012 at 11:15 am

If you can't say anything nice about him, don't say anything; but that's just me. He's been dead a day. Entomologists tell us that his mandibles will grow slack and the six legs will start falling off.

Designer_Rants March 2, 2012 at 11:18 am

When does the RNC pin him to their giant board of passed operatives?
Breitbartus Pukus? or BiggusUpchuckus? Sorry, my Latin is failing me.

C_R_Eature March 2, 2012 at 11:35 am

A Spontaneous Eruption of Disinterest?

dijetlo March 2, 2012 at 11:50 am

A Nation Mehs'

GOPCrusher March 2, 2012 at 12:27 pm

Maybe I missed something, but the MSM has been strangely quiet on the well deserved demise of The Supperating Pusbag.

Local_Mojo March 2, 2012 at 10:44 am

Some people deserve to live long, sweet and happy lives. Some people don't.

SexySmurf March 2, 2012 at 10:44 am

Andy had Obama's college video on his phone, but he had to delete it to make room for more pictures of other dudes' junks.

Designer_Rants March 2, 2012 at 10:50 am

So. many. penises.

Generation[redacted] March 2, 2012 at 12:05 pm

That's the way right wing media works. If you want to get to the college photos, you have to go through a lot of dicks first.

UnholyMoses March 2, 2012 at 10:45 am

Your move, person with that whitey tape.

Oh, and zombies.

lefty74 March 2, 2012 at 10:45 am

Life was not a valuable gift, but death was. Life was a fever-dream made up of joys embittered by sorrows, pleasure poisoned by pain; a dream that was a nightmare-confusion of spasmodic and fleeting delights, ecstasies, exultations, happinesses, interspersed with long-drawn miseries, griefs, perils, horrors, disappointments, defeats,humiliations, and despairs–the heaviest curse devisable by divine ingenuity; but death was sweet, death was gentle, death was kind; death healed the bruised spirit and the broken heart, and gave them rest and forgetfulness; death was man's best friend; when man could endure life no longer, death came and set him free.
- Letters from the Earth,,,,Mark Twain

thebeatgoeson March 2, 2012 at 1:18 pm

If there is a God, I don't think s/he will grant ol' Andy any gentle sweet afterlife.

Chillwillard March 2, 2012 at 10:45 am

God, I don't think I can handle this shit…

Mumbletypeg March 2, 2012 at 11:02 am

Yeah.. in the wake of this lionized figure's death, we're anything but through with hearing about him.

"Be he alive / Or be he dead
He'll grind more bones / to bake his bread Through the rumor mill yet"

SayItWithWookies March 2, 2012 at 10:46 am

Beirut on the Charles — really? So Breitbart was cribbing from something attributed to Spiro Agnew, who is credited for calling Swarthmore the Kremlin on the Crum? Not that that should surprise anyone — but given the choice, I'd rather be associated with Bill Ayres, whose act of terrorism consisted in blowing up a toilet in the Pentagon.

Blueb4sunrise March 2, 2012 at 10:47 am

I'm beginning to think that I do have special powers to get a new thread.

chascates March 2, 2012 at 10:47 am

From Breitbart com:
CNN’s Malveaux Slimes Breitbart Hours After Passing
CNN’s Kurtz Spews Sherrod Misinformation On Day Of Breitbart’s Death

Breitbart's comments right after Ted Kennedy's death are, of course, different.

C_R_Eature March 2, 2012 at 10:47 am

The video will feature Barry hanging around in dorms, classrooms and on the Quad. Heavily intercut with file footage of some Kenyan University.
Sheriff Joe, take note!

Oh, also too: Saul Alinsky, Angela Davis, Eldrige Cleaver, Charles Manson, Mao Zedong and the Symbionese Liberation Army will have walk-on Cameos.

Biel_ze_Bubba March 2, 2012 at 3:53 pm

One question: how many months of editing, cutting, and pasting does O'Queef need to turn a stretch of bland, boring video into something preposterous enough to outrage the right-wing mouth-breathers? BrightFart died while waiting for his favorite media manipulator to cook up something good, and now everybody's waiting to see it.

Maybe they can do a double-feature, with Trump's "you won't believe what we found" report from Hawaii. (Introduction and narration by Sherriff Arpaio.)

C_R_Eature March 2, 2012 at 4:00 pm

From what I've seen of their Work Product, a clever High School AV Geek with a gaming computer and off-the-shelf video editing software could lash it together in about a week, part time. These sad fools spend $50 K on Ghod knows what and toss out an embarrassment of a video in half a year.
Clearly, there's some things money can't buy.

larryfinexx March 2, 2012 at 10:48 am

A recorded meeting of Obama and the Elders of Zion was found, and the tape is still clutched in Breitbarts cold, dead hands.

donner_froh March 2, 2012 at 10:49 am

Dear Andrew Breitbart's corpse:

Rot in hell, motherfucker.

Signed,
Your biggest fan

Barrelhse March 2, 2012 at 11:29 am

donner_, you're SO sentimental! I love how you turn a phrase- just an incurable Romantic, eh?lol

LabRodent March 2, 2012 at 10:49 am

You have to admit it as rather hard to be an asshole from beyond the grave. Kudos to you Andrew.

freakishlywrong March 2, 2012 at 10:50 am

Maybe someone has found the footage of Barry in a hipster fedora, sipping a latte.

40 or 50 % McShineys March 2, 2012 at 1:23 pm

My belt onions are pretty sweet, Orrin't they?

ShreditorsDesk March 2, 2012 at 10:50 am

I want a Breitbart mask for Halloween.

tessiee March 2, 2012 at 1:14 pm

Aren't you afraid
a) of scaring all the children and some of the grownups?
b) that people won't realize it's a mask, and will just think you're some homeless guy?

Biel_ze_Bubba March 2, 2012 at 3:57 pm

"Homeless people" Halloween costumes are so last year.

CivicHoliday March 2, 2012 at 10:51 am

Breaking news: some liberal-leaning professors and a promising college student once talked about that student possibly running for public office, maybe even the presidency. I am sure this has only happened a few hundred thousand times throughout history, so break out the drudge sirens. (because this time it's different – this time he was BLACK and he actually WON)

WiscDad March 2, 2012 at 10:52 am

I'll bet it will be James O'Keefe in blackface and his outrageous pimp costume shuckin' and jivin' with actors that look like the Dohrns

fuflans March 2, 2012 at 10:52 am

hello rebecca.

i have nothing else to say. this looks like some subplot on 'the borgias' only less relevant.

C_R_Eature March 2, 2012 at 10:52 am

This Just in: Bloggerisimo Andrew Breitbart is still dead.

Geminisunmars March 2, 2012 at 11:08 am

Where'd you get that pix of his soul?

C_R_Eature March 2, 2012 at 11:14 am

I did an Image search on "Zombie Breitbart" and This was the very first hit.
The Miracle of Modern Technology.

Biff March 2, 2012 at 11:49 am

Zombie, gay Mormon–he's already accomplished more in death than he had any right to expect to in life!

C_R_Eature March 2, 2012 at 11:52 am

He's one helluva lot more fun dead, too!

BarackMyWorld March 2, 2012 at 11:11 am

I'm Chevy Chase BarackMyWorld, and you're not.

C_R_Eature March 2, 2012 at 11:37 am

I am Faced. Are you as Faced as I am? I am So Faced.

Biff March 2, 2012 at 11:50 am

FACE!

LabRodent March 2, 2012 at 10:53 am

Karma is indeed a Motherfucker!

tessiee March 2, 2012 at 1:17 pm

Karma? I thought dogs were…
Oh, wait; that's Dick Cebull's mother.

SorosBot March 2, 2012 at 10:54 am

When Obama went to college, he talked to some of his professors? Oh my, how horrible! Wait, really, this is all they have, drudging up some obscure college professors of his, vaguely smearing them as "radicals" and then attacking him with guilt by association?

Oh, and are the colleges radically liberal or are they totalitarian? Because those are, you know, mutually exclusive categories.

Generation[redacted] March 2, 2012 at 12:09 pm

Anyone who was in college and didn't march in favor of expanding the Vietnam war and putting all the hippies in internment camps was a dirty anti-American communist, obviously.

tessiee March 2, 2012 at 1:18 pm

Anyone who was in college that didn't have the word "Bible" in its name was a dirty anti-American communist, obviously.

HuddledMass March 2, 2012 at 10:55 am

What's with the twitchy hand-waving gestures? I'm not surprised this guy kicked it, there is definitely something wrong here.

ManchuCandidate March 2, 2012 at 10:55 am

Did Bitpart get a role on the Walking Dead?

Barrelhse March 2, 2012 at 11:36 am

With Jerry?

BaldarTFlagass March 2, 2012 at 10:55 am

Well, between this and Sheriff Joe's game-changing revelations of yesterday, I predict that Obama's impeachment proceedings are totally going to overshadow the remainder of the Republican presidential nomination campaign, as well as the general election, all the way through November.

SpiderCrab March 2, 2012 at 10:56 am

Too bad about Andy. His greatest smears were yet to come.

Barrelhse March 2, 2012 at 3:05 pm

His final smear was spectacular, when he shit the bed.

el_donaldo March 2, 2012 at 10:57 am

They say if you put out a large pile of blow and five pints of beer and say "Breitbart" three times really quickly, his ghost will appear and scream at you to stop raping.

C_R_Eature March 2, 2012 at 11:22 am

Vehemently Upfisted! And no, I'm not going to try it.

Biel_ze_Bubba March 2, 2012 at 4:03 pm

Hey, if it doesn't work, you've still got a pile of blow and plenty of beer…

C_R_Eature March 2, 2012 at 4:10 pm

All the more reason to keep Breitbart away.

Arken March 2, 2012 at 10:58 am

Speaking of Breitbart. Talkingpointsmemo.com has decided that any discussion of him shall be deleted, any discussion of the deletions shall be deleted, and they even banned some of their regulars. Josh Marshall also suspiciously quoted a 'close friend' of his that said Breitbart had a 'huge heart.'

Hooray, blog bffs!

C_R_Eature March 2, 2012 at 11:07 am

I'm of the opinion that Josh Marshall's Friend's actual quote was "That Breitbart was a huge Hard on."
Your Move, Politfact.

Biff March 2, 2012 at 12:13 pm

Mostly true!

SexySmurf March 2, 2012 at 11:08 am

His heart wasn't so much "huge" as it was "enlarged" from years of obesity and cocaine abuse.

Arken March 2, 2012 at 11:11 am

“Cocaine abuse” = “natural causes” these days apparently.

Generation[redacted] March 2, 2012 at 12:11 pm

Cocaine abuse leads to death, naturally.

Biel_ze_Bubba March 2, 2012 at 4:06 pm

Cardiomegaly is a bitch.

tessiee March 2, 2012 at 1:21 pm

[...] any discussion of him shall be deleted, any discussion of the deletions shall be deleted, anyone engaging in discussions of the discussion shall be kicked by a giant boot, and finally, that making fun of the giant boot is a bootable offense.

imissopus March 2, 2012 at 2:48 pm

Makin' fun of my beard? That's a paddlin'.

Chet Kincaid March 2, 2012 at 10:59 am

Wow, could this post be any more incoherent? What are you trying to say?

EDIT: And no, I'm not gonna watch 2:47 of that asshole to figure out what the hell you're talking about.

EDIT: NO, I DON'T have any clean trousers except my crankypants this morning!! And I watched that asshole anyway, and now I'm REALLY irritated!!

SorosBot March 2, 2012 at 11:23 am

It's Breitbart who was incoherent, not the post.

C_R_Eature March 2, 2012 at 11:45 am

All Right! All Right! I'm gettin' off your lawn. Stop throwing things!!

Chet Kincaid March 2, 2012 at 11:52 am

And don't even think about moving my Dibs Chair if it snows!!

C_R_Eature March 2, 2012 at 11:53 am

*Running away*

Pat_Pending March 2, 2012 at 12:29 pm

Man, you got rock salt in that shotgun? Sheez…

Limeylizzie March 2, 2012 at 4:31 pm

Making me miss Chicago with the Dibs Chair reference, my love.

James Michael Curley March 2, 2012 at 10:59 am

"How Will Ghost Andrew Breitbart Haunt Obama From Beyond the Grave?"

Very poorly, just like his journalistic endeavors.

Generation[redacted] March 2, 2012 at 12:12 pm

I bet his ghost will be choppy and poorly edited.

Biel_ze_Bubba March 2, 2012 at 4:08 pm

Snorting, boozing, slandering … and yelling at other people to "behave".

Gunner Asch March 2, 2012 at 11:00 am

Greetings Rebecca! I'll bet you were almost to kindergarten before you wanted to kill the next wiseass who said something about "Don't worry your pretty little head about it". I can sympathize, since I also have a name that can be easily tweaked by random passing dipshits.

weej_bain March 2, 2012 at 11:00 am

Welcome to the Wonkette Rebeca. Are you on work release like the <alt text> phobic Ginger Jim Newell?

Guppy March 2, 2012 at 11:00 am

“I’ve got video, from his college days,”

On Mars!

C_R_Eature March 2, 2012 at 11:38 am

It's Barry Buckaroo O'Banzai!

LiveToServeYa March 2, 2012 at 11:01 am

This is all a drink-sodden plot to rule by Breitbart to rule teh Intarnets from beyond the grave. Well, it worked for Bela Lugosi in Plan 9.

Joshua Norton March 2, 2012 at 11:02 am

Mr. Breitbarts final drunken video of him screaming senseless obscenities at CPAC protesters tells posterity all they need to know about him. Just another deluded, gin-soaked right wing asshole.

Bomp, bomp,bomp,
Another one bites the dust
Another one bites the dust
And another one gone, and another one gone
Another one bites the dust

DoktorThompson March 2, 2012 at 11:02 am

Here's a preview of the devastating college video: for freedom (YouTube link, etc.)

C_R_Eature March 2, 2012 at 11:10 am

Excellent.

Schmannnity March 2, 2012 at 11:03 am

Maybe the late Breitbart's footage can be merged with all the shocking findings of Trump's investigators yet unrevealed.

tessiee March 2, 2012 at 1:24 pm

cue the asshat with the Reagan avatar in 3…
2…

Baconzgood March 2, 2012 at 11:03 am

Whitney who?

sharethegrief March 2, 2012 at 11:04 am

Before now, I always thought it was wrong to deface a gravemarker.

C_R_Eature March 2, 2012 at 11:09 am

Oh, Hi, Rebecca! Welcome to the Weird Side.

Barrelhse March 2, 2012 at 3:09 pm

We have cookies!

C_R_Eature March 2, 2012 at 3:12 pm

And liquor. We never seem to run out of either!

BarackMyWorld March 2, 2012 at 11:12 am

Terrible man was terrible.

BerkeleyBear March 2, 2012 at 11:13 am

Gah – the Annenberg shit, again? Really? Which becomes how Barack met Bill 2.0? Because the Annenberg Challenge is also the funding agency of the neighborhood improvement board that Obama and Ayers were both on, well after Obama left college. Why do I suddenly feel like the Tides Foundation, George Soros and Glenn Beck feature prominently in this little film? Along with how Obama wanted to be President in first grade, how there are halos around letters in his long form birth certificate, and long explanations of how only people with tin foil hats can block the rays of the librul media.

The crazy stupid – it burns so bad hell might feel comfortable to Breitbart.

iburl March 2, 2012 at 11:13 am

Billy Joel was wrong.

Generation[redacted] March 2, 2012 at 12:14 pm

"I'd rather laugh with the sinners than cry with the saints, but then I realized Breitbart would be there, yelling at us all."

johnnyzhivago March 2, 2012 at 11:15 am

They found all of Obama's college era Facebook postings – with photos!

It's quite a scoop!

C_R_Eature March 2, 2012 at 11:15 am

It was probably taken at CPAC.

Barrelhse March 2, 2012 at 11:16 am

"Beirut on the Charles"- but I LOVE that dirty water!

Gunner Asch March 2, 2012 at 2:13 pm

Flashie-backie! My platoon in Basic in '67 had twin brothers who lurved that song. They usually marched in front of me and be-bopped up and down singing it under their breaths. I often ended up bouncing up and down a bit too. The DI's hollered a bit when they caught them.

Barrelhse March 2, 2012 at 2:55 pm

LOL-cool!

littlebigdaddy March 2, 2012 at 11:16 am

Wingnuts claim he was murdered by the CIA in 3,2,1….

SorosBot March 2, 2012 at 11:21 am

You're over 24 hours too late for that, dude; they started almost as soon they heard he was dead.

GOPCrusher March 2, 2012 at 12:47 pm

Yeah. And it makes even more conspiracier when you stop to think that he had videos that were about to be released of the Kenyan Muslim Socialist Usurper.
Obviously, Andrew Breitbart is the first victim of the Obama Space Based Death Ray!

littlebigdaddy March 2, 2012 at 11:56 am

Traveling yesterday…missed that important news.

Generation[redacted] March 2, 2012 at 12:14 pm

Also, all us lefties planted a dirty bomb at Rush Limpburger's house.

Barb March 2, 2012 at 11:20 am

Hmmm, Andrew dies and Rebecca shows up as the leader. This is gonna be good!

littlebigdaddy March 2, 2012 at 11:20 am

Bammerz does dorm porn?

Chet Kincaid March 2, 2012 at 11:21 am

Videos or STFU.

C_R_Eature March 2, 2012 at 11:27 am

Today's Forecast calls for Trolls.

KeepFnThatChicken March 2, 2012 at 11:33 am

Andrew invented the internet asshole.

C_R_Eature March 2, 2012 at 12:02 pm

Oh..He's the original Goatse Guy?

The More You Know!

GOPCrusher March 2, 2012 at 12:48 pm

Oh no. But he certainly perfected it.

Slim_Pickins March 2, 2012 at 11:34 am

Breitbart's death is just part of Karl Rove's master plan.

ttommyunger March 2, 2012 at 11:51 am

Wonderful day today! Dreamt last night that Andrew Breitbart had died. Woke up this morning to find it was still true. Life is good! OT: my Facebook friends here in Dumfukistan are posting energetic defenses of this lying, disgusting worm and condemning my gleeful posts about his demise. I fucking love it.

Generation[redacted] March 2, 2012 at 12:15 pm

I hope you posted his screamy rant at the protestors, and his tweets about Ted Kennedy.

ttommyunger March 2, 2012 at 12:23 pm

Too many indiscretions to post, just labeled him the Asshole's Asshole that he is. You can check it on fb (ttommyunger). Hilarious!

Generation[redacted] March 2, 2012 at 12:39 pm

Luckily, my facebook friends from redneckistan have been mercifully quiet about this whole thing. Just the usual posts about how liberals are responsible for their trucks suddenly costing $100 to fill with gasoline and getting 8mpg.

ttommyunger March 2, 2012 at 10:58 pm

That shifty Obama, ya gotta watch him!

tessiee March 2, 2012 at 1:34 pm

My facebook isn't returning any results for ttommyunger. There's a guy called Thomas Unger in Georgia, but judging by the pictures, he's obviously not you, since your stated age is "over 70".

ttommyunger March 2, 2012 at 10:34 pm

People tell me I look about 40-50, go figure. Biker with 'tash and clit tickler is me. Wish I could say it was clean living.

Pat_Pending March 2, 2012 at 12:31 pm

I luvs me a mean ol' man of librul bent…

ttommyunger March 2, 2012 at 12:38 pm

In that case you would fucking adore me.

tessiee March 2, 2012 at 1:35 pm

We already do, ya big galoot.

ttommyunger March 2, 2012 at 10:35 pm

Awww shucks, ma'am (hangs head, shuffles feet in dust).

Biff March 2, 2012 at 11:52 am

Totally. We should just appoint santorum now and save the drama of a convention and/or election.

C_R_Eature March 2, 2012 at 11:59 am

No, he's Ayatollah Ruhollah Santorum. Religious Leader of the Nation. We'll still need a bearded, mouthy, stupid President. Grover?

Dashboard Buddha March 2, 2012 at 12:15 pm

the Ayatollah of Assaholah?

tessiee March 2, 2012 at 1:19 pm

An appropriate place for Santorum, if you ask me.

SorosBot March 2, 2012 at 11:56 am

However, let us remember that there are tragic innocent victims in all deaths, even that of a hateful bigot like Breitbart; I hear that both the bar and liquor store closest to his house saw their profits drop in half yesterday, and feel sad for them.

jolpaj March 2, 2012 at 12:00 pm

It's like somebody edited out all the parts of his life with the decency in them, creating a misleading vision of him as a despicable racist. If only it weren't for that last sharp cut, we might have seen the part of his life that had the redemption in it

Tundra Grifter March 2, 2012 at 12:10 pm

A year after Walt Disney died, the senior corporate managers were told to meet in a conference room with a large screen.

Seats were assigned to each person.

A movie of Walt started where he pointed to each executive and he asked specific questions about the business operations.

Tommy1733 March 2, 2012 at 12:46 pm

Please Wonkettes – you must – MUST – be sure to read the article that is linked "sexed up Barry in a limousine". You will probably spit your food, so please be careful.

C_R_Eature March 2, 2012 at 1:15 pm

Breitbart's Ghost will appear next Christmas Eve, in the persona of Krampus.

He will appear to all the bad Liberal Occupy Children, when they're on mushrooms and yell "BEHAAAAVE YOURSELVES!" and "STOP RAPING PEOPLE! STOP RAPING PEOPLE! STOP RAPING THE PEOPLE!" until everyone stops having fun.

It will be horrible.

Barrelhse March 2, 2012 at 3:00 pm

Krampus is fitting. You do mean menstrual krampus, right?

C_R_Eature March 2, 2012 at 3:03 pm

The most infuriating Krampus of all!

BZ1 March 2, 2012 at 1:20 pm

what a drunken lout, any vestiges of sympathy at his passing have evaporated…

OneYieldRegular March 2, 2012 at 1:32 pm

For contextual purposes, I'll be needing videos of everyone's college days before I'll watch Barry's.

MarionNYNY March 2, 2012 at 3:05 pm

Having seen this one thing is now very clear. He died of the bitter.

slowhansolo March 2, 2012 at 3:24 pm

Dead angry fool is dead.

arihaya March 2, 2012 at 3:56 pm

oh man,, the wingnuts REALLY seem to believe the Breitbart murder conspiracy theory

this will be jackpot for comedy writers everywhere

voodooeconomics March 2, 2012 at 4:56 pm

Someone dressed as an Acorn did his ass in. Whacked this stupid prick before the tapes comes out with Obama making out with the White Girls of Harvard.

glamourdammerung March 2, 2012 at 4:58 pm

"A tale told by an idiot, full of sound and fury, signifying nothing."

glamourdammerung March 2, 2012 at 4:59 pm

Annenberg? You mean the big Reagan supporter? But that means Saint Ronnie was getting handjobs from Bill Ayers?!?!?!

Larry McAwful March 3, 2012 at 9:51 pm

This is such bullshit. I don't believe that Andrew Breitbart is actually dead. No one should! Not until he produces his long-form death certificate. It's a hoax.

C_R_Eature March 2, 2012 at 11:48 am

For lunch, they're serving 12" flaming spiked Demon penises and Ham Sandwiches.

Oh, shucks, they just ran out of Ham Sandwiches!

Biff March 2, 2012 at 12:06 pm

I post this vid in his "honor".

C_R_Eature March 2, 2012 at 12:09 pm

Ah hahahahahaha sick.

Comments on this entry are closed.

Previous post:

Next post: