GRAB YER POPCORN  5:30 pm March 2, 2012

Watch RI Senate Candidate Do Creepy Mind Control On Innocent Child

by Kirsten Boyd Johnson

Here, HERE is how the opening to the Sarah Palin Is Eaten By Moon Nazis movie sequel will start: there will be a guy with a silly name like “Barry Hinckley,” a Republican candidate for the United States Senate who looks vaguely like a post-meltdown Charlie Sheen, growing flustered when his prop 5-year-old child malfunctions under questioning from Fox News poop chute Neil Cavuto. “Are you worried about the debt?” Cavuto asks. “Um, no,” says the kid. Shit. Dad’s going to have to rewire the kid ON AIR. How does he do it? Scroll forward to around 2:44 and then see if you can tell us what the hell you just saw.

CYBORG INVASION HAS BEGUN? Nobody knows. We are still waiting for someone to post the next segment of footage, where Barry Hinckley’s eyes start to glow orange and Neil Cavuto’s head melts away to reveal a giant radioactive maggot and the two of them make out until they merge and form a gay chrysalis, which eventually cracks open and out drops Todd Palin dressed as a mermaid. Sarah will be so mad when she finds out! And then on to scene two, etc. What? We have no idea, either. Happy Friday! [HuffPo]

 

Hola wonkerados.

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{ 190 comments }

ManchuCandidate March 2, 2012 at 5:32 pm

Oh you silly liebruls. You got the act all wrong. Barry's the dummy.

MaxUdargo March 2, 2012 at 6:11 pm

That's what I was thinking! It was like his "adult male eligible for political office" surrogate mannequin was malfunctioning, almost ruining the whole plan! Cavuto was obviously freaked out.

Jesus, that was creepy. Seriously, what the fuck? I feel like I just got a brief, furtive glimpse behind the curtain.

flamingpdog March 2, 2012 at 6:48 pm

Of the sliding door in the confessional.

nounverb911 March 2, 2012 at 5:32 pm

Child abuse! Cavuto looks like a defrocked priest.

Clancy_Pants March 2, 2012 at 5:33 pm

Well done sir! You can barely see "daddy's" lips move. I just love little Charlie McCarthy's complex facial expressions.

OkieDokieDog March 2, 2012 at 5:34 pm

Dad has the shifty-eye thing going on. Poor little brainwashed spawn boybot.

Strepsi March 3, 2012 at 7:54 pm

The whole thing is like Balloon Dad and Balloon Boy, part II.

That FOX News anchor sounds like he has to drink and smoke himself into a coma every night to get over the shame of his "journalism" career.

memzilla March 2, 2012 at 5:36 pm

Of course, had a Democratic candidate used his child to pimp his candidacy, Faux News and Rush would be calling the candidate a slut and a whore.

Lascauxcaveman March 2, 2012 at 5:44 pm

No, they'd call the kid a whore; the dad a pimp.

Generation[redacted] March 2, 2012 at 5:52 pm

Today we are all pimps.

Steverino247 March 2, 2012 at 6:03 pm

Well, it's not like it's easy or anything.

horsedreamer_1 March 3, 2012 at 5:49 pm

Correction: Poverty pimps. — JC Watts

Doktor Zoom March 2, 2012 at 8:26 pm

Be fair. He's not old enough to clean toilets yet.

starfanglednut March 2, 2012 at 10:34 pm

He's not blah, he doesn't have to clean toilets.

Callyson March 2, 2012 at 5:37 pm

Oh God when I first saw this guy I thought he was Bernhard Goetz, the subway shooter. This guy looks like the type.

edgydrifter March 2, 2012 at 5:37 pm

But which one is the puppet and which is the puppet master?

mavenmaven March 2, 2012 at 6:18 pm

The Koch Brothers are the puppet master.

OzoneTom March 2, 2012 at 5:37 pm

I was relieved when dad showed his right hand.

Just kidding — like I was going to watch that!

nounverb911 March 2, 2012 at 5:38 pm

Poor Hudson is going to have this crap follow him around for the rest of his life.

Fare la Volpe March 2, 2012 at 6:32 pm

That's not a nice thing to say about his dad.

Doktor Zoom March 2, 2012 at 8:26 pm

No, but it's accurate.

Barrelhse March 2, 2012 at 8:46 pm

"Hudson"? What's wrong with Edsel?

coolhandnuke March 2, 2012 at 5:39 pm

The kid's nose grew two inches during this segment.

fuflans March 2, 2012 at 5:39 pm

another hinckley showing troubling signs at an early age.

nounverb911 March 2, 2012 at 5:41 pm

Does Jodie Foster have kids?

Generation[redacted] March 2, 2012 at 5:53 pm

More importantly, was she impressed by this?

not that Dewey March 2, 2012 at 6:07 pm

NOW would be a good time to use that panic room, Jodie.

BigRadio March 2, 2012 at 6:58 pm

Bedwetter?

Negropolis March 3, 2012 at 2:19 am

This has got to become a meme. "Was Jodie Foster/she by this?" indeed. Propogate!

weej_bain March 2, 2012 at 5:39 pm

"Hudson's talking 5 year-old to 5 year-old"

Looks like Hinckley has his potential support base covered. Will he get an endorsement, or shooting tips, from his namesake John?

flamingpdog March 2, 2012 at 6:36 pm

I think he's shooting for the Catholic priest vote.

SudsMcKenzie March 2, 2012 at 5:40 pm

I'm not even sure if he knows which one of the Teletubbies is gay.

nounverb911 March 2, 2012 at 5:49 pm

Rushbo?

CapnFatback March 2, 2012 at 5:41 pm

Just to be sure, Cavuto should re-shoot the interview, and this time make Hinckley drink a glass of water every time the kid speaks.

Then he should shoot himself.

Negropolis March 3, 2012 at 2:19 am

ROTFLMAO!

Callyson March 2, 2012 at 5:43 pm

If the election for U.S. Senate was being held today and the candidates are Sheldon Whitehouse, the Democrat, and Barry Hinckley, the Republican, for whom would you vote: Whitehouse or Hinckley?
Whitehouse: 50.1%
Hinckley: 27.8% http://www.wpri.com/generic/news/politics/local_p
Good luck, kid…

Fare la Volpe March 2, 2012 at 6:33 pm

That graph pleases me in my pants place.

Loaded_Pants March 2, 2012 at 7:46 pm

"Pants place"? Is that like a Trouser Tent outlet?

fuflans March 2, 2012 at 5:43 pm

wow that wasn't too weird.

SorosBot March 2, 2012 at 5:44 pm

Not worried about the debt? That five-year-old is smarter than daddy.

rocktonsam March 2, 2012 at 8:36 pm

that 5 year old is smarter than all of FOX NEWZ

johnnyzhivago March 2, 2012 at 5:45 pm

I don't get it. I see the guy running for the senate and the five year old. Who is the little kid on the left, though.

Loaded_Pants March 2, 2012 at 7:51 pm

One of Roger Ailes's sonsabitches.

SorosBot March 2, 2012 at 5:46 pm

The kid's named Hudson? That's it man, game over man, game over! What the fuck are we gonna do now? What are we gonna do?

SudsMcKenzie March 2, 2012 at 5:52 pm

Are you finished?

Fare la Volpe March 2, 2012 at 6:30 pm

We already have a Newt in this race.

SorosBot March 2, 2012 at 7:02 pm

Yeah but he's a lot dumber and less competent than the ten-year-old girl.

emmelemm March 2, 2012 at 6:38 pm

"We're in some pretty shit now, man!"

Extemporanus March 2, 2012 at 6:40 pm

The A2s always were a bit twitchy.

Angry_Marmot March 2, 2012 at 7:00 pm

Nuke the site from orbit; it's the only way to be sure.

imissopus March 2, 2012 at 7:09 pm

Uh, fall back by squads…lay down suppressing fire…

HUDSON YOU IDIOT, GET IN THERE!

PubOption March 3, 2012 at 1:14 pm

Hawk?

CapnFatback March 2, 2012 at 5:47 pm

MUPPET INTERVIEWS MOPPET PUPPET!

user-of-owls March 2, 2012 at 7:12 pm

SHRINKS THINK HINK STINKS!

HistoriCat March 3, 2012 at 11:53 am

Muppet libel!

2161911 March 2, 2012 at 5:48 pm

Looks like Cavuto isn't going relinquish his Dickhead of the Year award anytime soon…

Fare la Volpe March 2, 2012 at 6:37 pm

No shit. This was the puffball of puffball interviews, and he still managed to act like a dick.

Texan_Bulldog March 2, 2012 at 5:49 pm

All I know is Hudson doesn't look like daddy at all. His mom must be a slut.

TeaNuts March 2, 2012 at 6:04 pm

Well after that party, I'm surprised he doesn't ……….. Too Soon?

HistoriCat March 3, 2012 at 11:54 am

Now you're going to have to file a complaint against yourself.

anniegetyerfun March 2, 2012 at 7:09 pm

You mean, she demands that the government pay for her birth control?

starfanglednut March 2, 2012 at 10:37 pm

She has SO MUCH SEX, she can't afford it.

Negropolis March 3, 2012 at 11:14 pm

Milkman libel!

Walkinwiddaking March 2, 2012 at 5:51 pm

I think I read a novel that was similar to this interview back in 1975 when I was tripping on some window pane. This, however, is scarier.

Guppy March 2, 2012 at 5:51 pm

It should be illegal to use a minor in a political campaign.

SudsMcKenzie March 2, 2012 at 5:56 pm

He also cleans the restrooms in the campaign bus.

Steverino247 March 2, 2012 at 6:05 pm

And in five years, they'll give him a brush.

orygoon March 2, 2012 at 5:52 pm

Meh. RI is a really blue state and has two of the better Democratic senators–love them both. (They give me an extra thrill whenever they are awesome, because I lived in RI for a little while, long ago.) So this guy is making a fool of himself and and a tool of his kid for nothing.

thebeatgoeson March 2, 2012 at 7:19 pm

Even when we had Republican senators they were still pretty awesome – father/son duo John and Lincoln Chafee were pretty reasonable guys. I think Linc was the only Republican to vote against the Iraq war.

Spurning Beer March 3, 2012 at 12:02 am

I lived in Little Rhody for decades, and I love the place. Even the dumb people mostly vote Democratic. And the previous mayor of Providence is Italian, gay, and Jewish. A three-fer.

user-of-owls March 3, 2012 at 1:15 am

It IS a wee peach of a state, isn't it? And you're lucky the dumb people don't know how to find Our Wonket. Yeah, that's right, I'm looking at you Woonsocket.

Negropolis March 3, 2012 at 2:21 am

The politicians up top seem to be of high quality, but the people you have down at the bottom are truly bottom of the barrel. Nothing but old-fashioned patronage and mob connections. It's like the New Jersey of New England.

gout March 2, 2012 at 5:52 pm

That's why pros use little down babies instead.

Extemporanus March 2, 2012 at 5:53 pm

Your move, Balloon Boy.

BigRadio March 2, 2012 at 7:08 pm

to: Extemporanus
re: New avatard

I'm not sure if we've had a chance to psychoanalyze ourselves with your new Rorschach inc. blot.. After all, it has been kind of busy around here for the last day or so. But consider this an opportunity everybody.
Here's what I see: Pedobear in a tux.
YMMV

Extemporanus March 2, 2012 at 7:30 pm

Dude, you are seriously fucked in the head.

Any sane person can see that it's clearly Pedobunny in a tux.

Seek help…now.

C_R_Eature March 2, 2012 at 7:34 pm

No, man…it's obviously a Giant Flying Vampire Toad. Can't you see it?

BigRadio March 2, 2012 at 7:45 pm

Now you know how Callista feels.

BigRadio March 2, 2012 at 7:43 pm

Well, maybe pedobear has a splitting headache. Did you think about that?
I AM NOT FUCKING CRAZY!!!1!!!!11!!

Extemporanus March 2, 2012 at 7:46 pm

YOU ARE ALL FUCKING CRAZY!!

Biff March 2, 2012 at 8:13 pm

Jeebus, he changed it again. Now it looks like the offspring of Mickey Mouse and Bullwinkle the Moose.

Doktor Zoom March 2, 2012 at 9:05 pm

Moops!

BigRadio March 2, 2012 at 9:35 pm

He is slowly DRIVING US CRAZY with his morphing ink blot.
Remember, keep telling yourself, it's only an avatar.

TanzbodenKoenig March 2, 2012 at 5:55 pm

creepiest shit ive seen in a while, and i've seen some creepy shit.

Angry_Marmot March 2, 2012 at 7:02 pm

Mom?

BigRadio March 2, 2012 at 9:37 pm

I fucking hate that Cavuto clown too! You're right, he is some fucked up shit.

Generation[redacted] March 2, 2012 at 5:55 pm

Since it's Friday why the hell not….

You know who ELSE used children to advance their political career?

Chichikovovich March 2, 2012 at 6:09 pm

Stephan of Cloyes?

nounverb911 March 2, 2012 at 6:10 pm

The Witch in Hansel and Gretel?

flamingpdog March 2, 2012 at 6:39 pm

Jesus of Nazareth?

Geminisunmars March 2, 2012 at 6:52 pm

The Pied Piper?

ThundercatHo March 2, 2012 at 7:06 pm

Aslan?

anniegetyerfun March 2, 2012 at 7:09 pm

Saddam Hussein?

anniegetyerfun March 2, 2012 at 7:10 pm

Bill Cosby?

Lascauxcaveman March 3, 2012 at 2:20 am

Well, if you're gonna go there, better queue up Art Linkletter first.

ShaveTheWhales March 2, 2012 at 8:23 pm

The Wasilla Massive Vagina?

Negropolis March 3, 2012 at 2:23 am

Governor Griftress?

HistoriCat March 3, 2012 at 11:56 am

All of them Katie.

PubOption March 3, 2012 at 1:16 pm

Margaret Thatcher. She first came to public attention through cutting school milk.

horsedreamer_1 March 3, 2012 at 5:51 pm

Jerry Lewis?

Deportably_Jose March 4, 2012 at 12:58 pm

Pope Benedict XVI?

DerrickWildcat March 2, 2012 at 5:55 pm

Pretty much the same kind of interview that Hannity has with Palin.

Trinket March 2, 2012 at 5:56 pm

Yeah, if that dad is such a crappy actor he can't keep from mouthing his co-star's lines while they're spoken, he's not gonna get far in this race.

The kid, on the other hand, has charisma to spare.

starfanglednut March 2, 2012 at 10:39 pm

He is adorable.

C_R_Eature March 2, 2012 at 5:56 pm

Wait! Is this Boy one of these Boys?

WunkRocker March 2, 2012 at 6:46 pm

All of them, Katie.

x111e7thst March 2, 2012 at 5:57 pm

"Neil Cavuto’s head melts away to reveal a giant radioactive maggot and the two of them make out until they merge and form a gay chrysalis..". I have not been able to find good acid in more years than I care to count, but clearly I just have not been looking hard enough.

Angry_Marmot March 2, 2012 at 7:03 pm

Mugwump libel!

DerrickWildcat March 2, 2012 at 6:01 pm

Guess how many spankings I got by, "ruining" grade school class photos by making funny faces?

orygoon March 2, 2012 at 6:13 pm

Show us. The photos, dammit, not your calloused butt!

thebeatgoeson March 2, 2012 at 7:21 pm

That was the best part of the video for me!

sharethegrief March 2, 2012 at 6:02 pm

I see lots of 1st grade birthday parties in their future.

DerrickWildcat March 2, 2012 at 6:05 pm

The Return of the Village of the Damned.

orygoon March 2, 2012 at 6:05 pm

Hudson, listen up. When you grow up, what you want to be is a Democrat. Because, for one thing, we don't believe in child abuse. It's also fun to see Daddy's head explode, when Daddy is a creepy POS.

Nostrildamus March 2, 2012 at 6:10 pm

Kill a goldfish or GTFO.

emmelemm March 2, 2012 at 6:40 pm

No kidding, right?

Nostrildamus March 2, 2012 at 6:12 pm

Way too many 5-year-olds in this segment.

Jukesgrrl March 2, 2012 at 6:15 pm

Tucker Carlson is putting his kid out to work already?

flamingpdog March 2, 2012 at 6:57 pm

I thought that was Tucker Carlson until he spoke and actually made sense.

Lascauxcaveman March 2, 2012 at 6:15 pm

OT but dang, another moderate legislator of major standing (this one a Dem) is calling it quits. This guy has been the rep in my district for 36 years; longer than I've been voting!

Should I run for his soon-to-be empty seat? Or just bemoan how much harder it's going to be to make dick jokes?

flamingpdog March 2, 2012 at 6:41 pm

How much "harder" it is going to be to make dick jokes? Ha ha ha ha ha.

Let the dick jokes begin. (Too easy).

emmelemm March 2, 2012 at 6:44 pm

I would vote for you. (I don't live over on your side of the Sound, though.)

WunkRocker March 2, 2012 at 6:48 pm

Go for it!
Run on the, "Won't be such a Dick" platform.

Lascauxcaveman March 2, 2012 at 7:07 pm

Or maybe "I'm an even bigger Dick," since the guy is so popular in my district. Eighteen straight wins is a pretty decent record.

C_R_Eature March 2, 2012 at 6:58 pm

"Harder?" "Dick Jokes?" My friend, you've already started!

Run! Platform: A Fetus in every Pot and TWO Dick Jokes in every garage!

flamingpdog March 2, 2012 at 7:02 pm

Run, for sure, but first change your name legally to E. Norm S. Dicks.

C_R_Eature March 2, 2012 at 7:50 pm

Hugh G. Rection

anniegetyerfun March 2, 2012 at 7:12 pm

DO IT. Think of the chocolate bars that we could send out.

orygoon March 2, 2012 at 7:28 pm

Do it! I'll come up and volunteer in your campaign!

HistoriCat March 3, 2012 at 12:01 pm

You should definitely run, But when you're caught tweeting pics of your crotch, don't expect any special treatment.

soeoho March 2, 2012 at 6:16 pm

90 Percent of my responses to these ads are positive too! Positively barfy.

Extemporanus March 2, 2012 at 6:20 pm

COMPLETE THE DANG WENCES BEFORE CREEPING SHARIA LEWIS LEADS TO MORE LESTERS!!

(I'm sorry, you guys…)

nounverb911 March 2, 2012 at 6:29 pm

Lambchop Libel!

Biff March 2, 2012 at 7:55 pm

's alright…

Not_So_Much March 2, 2012 at 6:22 pm

Wow, dad has the full-on Karayzee Eyez. Might still be hope for the kid from Children of the Corn.

cheaphits March 2, 2012 at 6:24 pm

"Barry Hinckley’s eyes start to glow orange and Neil Cavuto’s head melts away to reveal a giant radioactive maggot and the two of them make out until they merge and form a gay chrysalis, which eventually cracks open and out drops Todd Palin dressed as a mermaid. Sarah will be so mad when she finds out"

Exactly!!! I think you nailed it!

Great work!

donner_froh March 2, 2012 at 6:28 pm

Looks like there should be another Hinckley at Saint Elizabeth's.

Generation[redacted] March 2, 2012 at 6:29 pm

Didn't watch, but last night I saw that scene from the Exorcist on cable, so I'm going to just assume it looks something like that.

Data Exactly March 2, 2012 at 6:30 pm

This might be the most I consider Rhode Island or anybody else from that New England middle of nowhere for quite a while. Better savor the moment. But also – is his kid some sort of PUPPET?!? What's with the lip synching???

Beowoof March 2, 2012 at 6:33 pm

Something tells this kid will grow to be a gay liberal. Judging by his current political bent, it does appeal to a witless 4 year-old. As he learns to think and not be a republican prick I am hopeful he will disappoint Dad a lot.

Goonemeritus March 2, 2012 at 6:34 pm

This is just more proof that school is indoctrinating our children. Hell I bet Hudson lost sleep about the power of the Fed and went on and on about fiat currency before he started kindergarten.

flamingpdog March 2, 2012 at 6:44 pm

They had to toss him out of the cafeteria after he got up on the table and berated the free and reduced-cost lunch program.

Fare la Volpe March 2, 2012 at 6:34 pm

That was a very funny SNL skit.

CountryClubJihadi March 2, 2012 at 6:40 pm

Hudson is no Jonathan Krohn.

Nostrildamus March 2, 2012 at 6:44 pm

OT: Just notice the "last 5 visitors" section of my IntenseDebate profile is loaded with Right-Wing nuts who post only to RW blogs I never visit. I've never seen any of them here at Wonkette. Why are they visiting me? Anyone else notice this with their accounts or know what's going on?

flamingpdog March 2, 2012 at 6:45 pm

Breitfart left one final message before he was murdered ….

C_R_Eature March 2, 2012 at 7:00 pm

It's Breitbart's Doomsday Weapon, released the day he was Murdered.

horsedreamer_1 March 3, 2012 at 5:52 pm

Nick Angel is looking into this.

SorosBot March 2, 2012 at 7:01 pm

It's one guy, with a bunch of accounts; he was the old downfister and had been away for months but appears to have started up his stalking shit again.

C_R_Eature March 2, 2012 at 7:14 pm

Spanky? I thought that cocksucker was Breitbart himself.

Too bad.

C_R_Eature March 2, 2012 at 7:31 pm

You know, when some of our pithier and more outrageous Breitbart slapdowns show up on Fap Republic, Rude State, Big Polly Dicks et.al. (and you know they will) I hope they at least have the courtesy to credit us.

C_R_Eature March 2, 2012 at 7:04 pm

Actually, this happens to us every Troll Invasion. I think they check us out looking for intemperate posts to jump in & bust our balls about.
Personally, I don't know how they can just pick one. Or keep it under 10. 100? Oh, hell, they're all Intemperate. It's what we do here.

Nostrildamus March 2, 2012 at 7:07 pm

God, what pathetic lives they must lead. They must be totally hot in the sack.

C_R_Eature March 2, 2012 at 7:13 pm

"They must be totally hot in the sack sock.

Edited for accuracy.

SorosBot March 2, 2012 at 8:13 pm

They've got very fun lives of getting angry and racist on the internet while eating Cheetos in mom's basement.

Biff March 2, 2012 at 8:03 pm

Maybe it's my fault, because I posthumously "followed" brightfart…

starfanglednut March 2, 2012 at 10:48 pm

Omg, you're right. But why visit me? My p is quite low.

Doktor Zoom March 3, 2012 at 1:14 pm

Apparently Wonkette has turned off the automated "[username] is now following you" emails, which is how Spanky used to get his jollies. He'd change his name to a new Important Message About Libunatics* and then "follow" literally everyone who posted to Wonkette on any given day. He'd even drop and re-follow users, to be sure we got his important messages. The username that eventually got him kicked off IntenseDebate altogether was "Libs thank Breivik," with the profile description "Dems LOVE IT that so many died in Norway, so they can blame conservatives!" That one generated enough complaints that they yanked his accounts for TOS violations. Now that he can't downfist or harass via auto-notify, his options are limited.

*His very own coinage, you know. He's quite proud of it, and would actually take time to explain that it's a combination of "liberals" and "lunatics," just to make sure people got it. Really.

Jukesgrrl March 2, 2012 at 11:03 pm

WrightRezco visited me. So-o-o 2008. That one really MUST be locked in Mommy's basement.

Loaded_Pants March 3, 2012 at 7:13 pm

Since 2008. Probably a good thing. We don't need 'em runnin' around in public.

flamingpdog March 2, 2012 at 6:46 pm

Cavuto says he didn't get his act together until he turned 15? He has to be the freaking oldest-looking preteen I've ever seen.

OneYieldRegular March 2, 2012 at 6:49 pm

"Ventriloquist love/It ain't such a groove/whenever I exploit you for my own political gain/your lips never move."

BigRadio March 2, 2012 at 7:01 pm

To be fair, the kid has a sweater vest under his jacket.

imissopus March 2, 2012 at 7:06 pm

Yes Neal, using a child as a political prop is so novel.

5-YEAR-OLD MOPPET TWIT / JARBARA BUSH '12!!!

imissopus March 2, 2012 at 7:11 pm

Do not displease He Who Walks Behind The Rows.

C_R_Eature March 2, 2012 at 7:11 pm

I can't wait until Andrew Breitbart interviews this kid on Breitbart TV and…

Oh wait, Breitbart's Still Dead!

HistoriCat March 3, 2012 at 12:03 pm

Who?

BlueStateLibel March 2, 2012 at 7:13 pm

I'm three sheets to the wind at 7:07 EST, but at one point it seems the poor kid says if he was president: "new war, save country." Reminds me of this Onion story: http://tinyurl.com/7azgvkm

C_R_Eature March 2, 2012 at 7:28 pm

…"his child will slaughter thousands to impose his rule over the lawless hordes of Quadrant Gamma, Quadrant Epsilon, and the inhumanly barbarous Sioux City metro area."
Hell, I saw all that in his eyes in the first few seconds of the clip. Oh the Places you'll Go!

Chet Kincaid March 2, 2012 at 8:26 pm

Alright, what the fuck was going on there? Every time the kid talks, the Dad is mouthing the same words. Is there a mirror off camera, and the kid's reading his lips? Is the guy's wife standing off camera relaying the Dad's mumbles? Is the kid the android from "AI" with eyeballs hidden on the side of his head? Who comes up with this kind of weird shit?

C_R_Eature March 2, 2012 at 8:36 pm

It's done with implanted electrodes. In the frontal lobes.

I did a small amount of Web-Based research and what I found is Disturbing.

Chet Kincaid March 3, 2012 at 1:02 am

That line just sums up the decade, doesn't it?

Doktor Zoom March 2, 2012 at 8:30 pm

“All right, Jason. Tell Santa what you want. Tell him what you want.”

Jason said, “I….want…Procton and…Gamble to…stop animal testing.”

The mother rapped her son over the head, saying, “Procter, Jason, that’s Procter and Gamble. And what do they do to animals? Do they torture animals, Jason? Is that what they do?”

Jason said, "Yes, they torture." He was probably six years old.

–David Sedaris, "The Santaland Diaries"

Barrelhse March 2, 2012 at 9:00 pm

He'll put somebody's eye out with that thing.

Sparky McGruff March 2, 2012 at 9:07 pm

What did I see? What the hell did I see? All I saw was that poor little monkey trying to put the cork back in!

Oh,sorry… wrong joke.

Dudleydidwrong March 2, 2012 at 9:33 pm

If you look at the video at about 3:00 you'll discover that little Hudson gives us all a visual clue as to how long his dad's dick is.

salt_bagel March 2, 2012 at 9:46 pm

Not sure what's wrong with a little creepy dad ventriloquism. In fact, this clip reminds me of when my dad and I asked out my junior prom date.

HarryButtle March 3, 2012 at 1:03 am

It's the creepy cannibal kid from Pet Semetary.

Negropolis March 3, 2012 at 2:10 am

CYBORG INVASION HAS BEGUN? Nobody knows. We are still waiting for someone to post the next segment of footage, where Barry Hinckley’s eyes start to glow orange and Neil Cavuto’s head melts away to reveal a giant radioactive maggot and the two of them make out until they merge and form a gay chrysalis, which eventually cracks open and out drops Todd Palin dressed as a mermaid.

What the hell have you been smoking, girl?

That said, that video was fucking creepy. That said, I'm also laughing hysterically after every one of these comments. I haven't laughed this hard and this consistently in a single thread in a long time.

June_Cleaver2.0 March 3, 2012 at 10:05 am

Republicans are so pathetically obvious. We can even see their lips move. Or Hudson needs a new battery.

Preacher_Griz March 3, 2012 at 11:10 am

Since their mouths create the words simultaneously, this means they are channeling the Word of God. Therefore, the first Father/Son Prophet Duo in Biblical History!!!

BZ1 March 3, 2012 at 11:23 am

Svengali, much??

Doktor Zoom March 3, 2012 at 11:44 am

Or a Svenjolly.

He's got, like, a cheerful mental hold on the kid.

WordSaladNation March 4, 2012 at 12:01 pm

Someone on another website (like I read other websites, no I don't, I was just "browsing") said that this looked like a condition known as echopraxia, which Wikipedia calls "a behaviour characteristic of some people with autism, Tourette syndrome, Ganser syndrome, schizophrenia (especially catatonic schizophrenia), some forms of clinical depression and some other neurological disorders."

No snark here; I was just kind of interested that such a thing exists.

WinterOuthouse March 4, 2012 at 4:19 pm

The shit people do to kids! Next they'll make little Hudson be an Altar Boy.

Soylent Green March 4, 2012 at 10:59 pm

Way to call out the poor little kid on live TV. Thats our Fox.

C_R_Eature March 2, 2012 at 7:48 pm

….aaaaannd the reason for the huge Tiffany's account.

C_R_Eature March 2, 2012 at 7:49 pm

You noticed. Thanks!

BigRadio March 2, 2012 at 8:40 pm

I see what you did there.
Now I see Pedobear in a Donna Karan dress with a plunging neckline.

Lascauxcaveman March 3, 2012 at 2:16 am

I see a fleur-de-lis painted by a drunk Cajun with Parkinsons. But then I know what a big Saints fan Extempo is.

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