Watch RI Senate Candidate Do Creepy Mind Control On Innocent Child

Here, HERE is how the opening to the Sarah Palin Is Eaten By Moon Nazis movie sequel will start: there will be a guy with a silly name like "Barry Hinckley," a Republican candidate for the United States Senate who looks vaguely like a post-meltdown Charlie Sheen, growing flustered when his prop 5-year-old child malfunctions under questioning from Fox News poop chute Neil Cavuto. "Are you worried about the debt?" Cavuto asks. "Um, no," says the kid. Shit. Dad's going to have to rewire the kid ON AIR. How does he do it? Scroll forward to around 2:44 and then see if you can tell us what the hell you just saw.

CYBORG INVASION HAS BEGUN? Nobody knows. We are still waiting for someone to post the next segment of footage, where Barry Hinckley's eyes start to glow orange and Neil Cavuto's head melts away to reveal a giant radioactive maggot and the two of them make out until they merge and form a gay chrysalis, which eventually cracks open and out drops Todd Palin dressed as a mermaid. Sarah will be so mad when she finds out! And then on to scene two, etc. What? We have no idea, either. Happy Friday! [HuffPo]