hard times

Mitt Romney Has Worn A Garbage Bag, Just Like You

Which way to the creamery?The whole world (or a few thousand people) laughed at Mitt Romney for mocking those poor NASCAR fans he encountered the other day in their plastic ponchos, telling them, “I like those fancy raincoats you bought. Really sprung for the big bucks.” Why didn’t Mitt buy them all golden GORE-TEX rain-repellent space jackets? Does he even want to buy the presidency anymore? But no, he says now, he wasn’t mocking them. There are plenty of times when he’s had to wear much worse — garbage bags, even. He loves garbage! He probably only rents his suits, too, when he’s not wearing his beloved garbage bags.

Romney responded to the many responses to his funny line about the poncho’d troll people, all of them watching the race cars go ’round and ’round, in Florida, on Bill O’Reilly last night. From the WaPo:

“Is it worth it for you even to say those things?” host Bill O’Reilly asked Romney in the interview, noting that Democrats have pounced on the remarks as the latest in what they argue is a series of gaffes that reveals Romney is out of touch with most Americans.

“Well you know, it’s hard to imagine all the things they’re going to try and turn into attacks,” Romney responded. “I mean, that’s the first time I’ve heard the one you’ve mentioned. Look, I have worn a garbage bag for rain gear myself. And we’re out there in the rain; the rain was getting us soaked; I didn’t have a rain coat myself. I would have liked one of those. So, you know, it’s just the nature of the process.”

You should all be ashamed for your taunts at Mitt Romney. Wait… it’s the nature of the process? In that case, continue feeling no shame.

[Washington Post]

About the author

Jim Newell is Wonkette's beloved Capitol Hill Typing Demon. He joined Wonkette.com in 2007, left for some other dumb job in 2010, and proudly returned in 2012 as our "Senior Editor at Large." He lives in Washington and also writes for things such as The Guardian, the Manchester paper of liberals.

View all articles by Jim Newell

Comments

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  • Barb

    He bought it at Bloomingdale's.

    • http://www.wonkette.com Chillwillard

      Neiman Marcus.

    • http://simplyleftbehind.blogspot.com/ actor212

      They don't sell garbage bags!

      They sell disposable refuse clutches

    • Callyson

      Barney's or GTFO.

    • MOG2410

      bespoke garbage bags, who knew???

    • Negropolis

      Bloomingdales? How common. Romney had his garbaged bags custom made by the finest tailors in Metro Detroit.

  • ttommyunger

    Mouth opens up, garbage comes out, who can explain it, Bill?

    • anniegetyerfun

      Never a miscommunication! He says exactly what he means, which is that everyone poor sucks.

      • ttommyunger

        …or is simply inconsequential.

    • hagajim

      Someone probably needs to buy Mittens a Gaffe hook….I'd say mouth open and stupidity comes out.

      • ttommyunger

        He do have his problems in the public arena.

    • Negropolis

      It's good, then, that he has his garbage bag rain slicker to catch the mouth-garbage with.

      • ttommyunger

        Clever, that…Finally, a method to his madness.

  • nounverb911

    Some of my best friends own garbage bag manufacturing companies.
    –Mitt Romney

    • http://simplyleftbehind.blogspot.com/ actor212

      It looks like he's picked up Hefty as a corporate sponsor of his Presidency

  • http://johnnyzhivago.blogspot.com johnnyzhivago

    WTF?? Now he's calling my $19.95 Poncho I bought at the concession stand a "garbage bag????"

  • memzilla

    It's like Nelson Muntz saying: "Stop hitting yourself! Stop hitting yourself!" Except there's no Nelson Muntz, only Milhouse Van Rmoney.

    • BaldarTFlagass

      Tyler Durden libel!!

      Edit: why the hell did this show up twice? *shrug*

      • Preferred Customer

        If you go back and look closely, you'll see it's actually the same post.

        • BaldarTFlagass

          I see everything twice!!!

          • Doktor Zoom

            Yossarian Libel!

    • BaldarTFlagass

      Tyler Durden libel!!

      • Preferred Customer

        If you put Brad Pitt and Ed Norton together, I hope you end up with something more interesting than Mitt Romney.

        • MrFizzy

          You could put a telletubby and winnie the pooh together and get something more interesting than Romney.

          • doloras

            Yes, I've read that porn.

  • http://johnnyzhivago.blogspot.com johnnyzhivago

    My wife wears a couple of garbage bags.

  • http://www.wonkette.com Chillwillard

    But Willard never wore a condom, of course (and neither did his dad, unfortunately).

    • http://loljazzcatz.blogspot.com/ Chet Kincaid

      The Mormons are anti-abortion, but not anti-condom:
      http://www.lds.org/ldsorg/v/index.jsp?locale=0&am

      (See under "Additional Information")

      • http://www.wonkette.com Chillwillard

        Ah, thanks for the clarification. Really, I should've know this; after all, I lived in Utah for 4 years! I'm still trying to find out if I was secretly baptized against my will, though…

        • Fare la Volpe

          Are you dead yet? Then no.

          • http://www.wonkette.com Chillwillard

            It was during my college years. I remember one morning waking up in the Tabernacle parking lot…still not sure how I got there or what happened!

  • chicken_thief

    I call bullshit, Mittens. Pics or gtfo.

  • BarackMyWorld

    Newt wouldn't have said that stuff. Newt would've just blamed the rain on Obama.

  • JerkCade

    It's almost as if he doesn't know shit about dick.

    • Fare la Volpe

      Knowledge about dick is really Santorum's forte.

    • walterhwhite

      Almost?

  • nounverb911

    Does Anne wear TWO garbage bags?

    • Preferred Customer

      None of this Glad crap for her. She wears a Hefty bag–two actually–that's the Cadillac of bags, right there.

    • http://simplyleftbehind.blogspot.com/ actor212

      Yes, one over Mitt's head with a photo of Megan McCain pasted on

  • GuanoFaucet

    Mitt has also been known to walk past homeless people and say:

    “I like those fancy cardboard homes you bought. Really sprung for the big bucks.”

    • YasserArraFeck

      A "cardboard house" really only becomes a "home" when a homeless dude craps in it.

      Or when it hears the patter of tiny feet – usually rats.

  • http://johnnyzhivago.blogspot.com johnnyzhivago

    Romney should be cramming his campaign into a garbage bag at this point.

  • http://www.wonkette.com Chillwillard

    Does this mean we can officially rename "garage bags"? "Honey, we are out Romney bags!"

    • savethispatient

      "And remember to take out the Romney cans to the curb, they're overflowing with Romney. And don't to forget to separate the food waste and put it in the Gingrich."

      • shrillharpy

        Don't forget to wash the Santorum outta the Romney. Otherwise, we'll end up with a maggot infestation. Plus it'll smell to high heavens.

        • DaRooster

          These two truly have stunk up the joint.

      • http://www.wonkette.com Chillwillard

        "You are also gonna need some Romney bags to clean after the dog. He romneyed all over the living room rug during the lightning storm."

        • Negropolis

          I thought he Romneyed all over the car after the trip he took atop it?

    • Guppy

      Sounds more appropriate for colostomy bags.

    • http://Wonkette.com DemmeFatale

      Silly Chill!
      You can only call them "Romney bags" if they're monogrammed.
      GAH!

  • SorosBot

    I know Oscar the Grouch. Oscar the Grouch was a friend of mine. You, sir, are no Oscar the Grouch.

  • BaldarTFlagass

    "Hefty, Maude. That's the ticket."

    —Jonathon Winters

  • TheRiverCharley

    Well, this is taking flip-flopping to a whole new, absurd level.

    • Lascauxcaveman

      I was for garbage bags before I was against them before I was for them again.

  • Trannysurprise

    To be fair, his raingear was from the new "Garbaj" line from Derelik.

    Have you ever wondered if there was more to life, other than being really, really, ridiculously good looking?

    • anniegetyerfun

      Well, let me answer your question with a question. How many abadigitals do you see modeling?

    • Fare la Volpe

      I'm a MerMAN, Dad. MerMAN.

    • proudgrampa

      "To be fair, his raingear was from the new "Garbaj" line from Derelik."

      Only available at that new French store; Tar-jay!

  • Fare la Volpe

    Mitt's advisers: "STOP. TALKING."

    • anniegetyerfun

      Surely, one of them is whipping up a nice laryngitis recipe in the kitchen as we speak.

  • nounverb911

    "Mitt was born with a silver foot in his mouth."
    –Anne Richards

  • mormos

    good grief! You'd think he'd realize he needs to stop opening his mouth as his foot seems to have a magnetic attraction towards it.

  • Urban_Achiever

    "And we’re out there in the rain; the rain was getting us soaked; I didn’t have a rain coat myself I would have liked one of those."

    So, question–would it have been MORE or LESS awkward had he offered to buy the poncho off of one of their backs?

    • FNMA

      "Hey, $10,000 for your garbage bag?"

      • OhNoGuy

        No, Willard! No! That's an illegal alien wearing that garbage bag. Don't give him the $10,000, it'll look bad in the campaign.

  • Hera Sent Me

    Mitt's trying to become the first handicapped president of the US.

    Political Tourette's Syndrome is a handicap, right?

    • MrFizzy

      It didn't hurt W too much.

      • YasserArraFeck

        Most of the time, we didn't realize W was speaking English, so he largely got away with it

    • Negropolis

      Frankie Roosevelt Libel!

  • KeepFnThatChicken

    He needs Jules Winnfield as an adviser.

    NSFW

    • CarnyTrash

      "I don't remember asking you a goddamn thing!"

  • BaldarTFlagass

    "Look, I have worn a garbage bag for rain gear myself. And we’re out there in the rain; the rain was getting us soaked; I didn’t have a rain coat myself. I would have liked one of those. And I made fun of myself, I said “I like that fancy raincoat I'm wearing. Really sprung for the big bucks.” So, you see, I can laugh at myself just as easily as I laugh at the hoi-polloi."

    • bureaucrap

      It's important to keep one's sense of humor regarding the peasantry.

  • http://www.wonkette.com/ FlownOver

    A garbage bag is acceptable outerwear if you top it off with a hipster fedora.

    • anniegetyerfun

      Must have deep v-neck, also as well.

    • MOG2410

      and flips, after all shoes make the outfit.

  • Major Thom

    Mittt: "I have a camouflage trash bag that I like to wear when I'm I hunting those small varmints with my imaginary gun, if you will…

    • WunkRocker

      Mittens/Biden 2016!!!!

    • http://loljazzcatz.blogspot.com/ Chet Kincaid

      Oh yes, small varmint gun! Bringin' back the classics of yesteryear!
      http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-1ZTIbr8MuY

      And as to the sound quality, this was before the Romneybot 3.0 software greatly improved "its" speech generation.

  • SoBeach

    “Is it worth it for you even to say those things?” host Bill O’Reilly asked…

    Like Mitt thinks about things before he says them…

    Unless his handlers manage to convince him to never, ever, EVER go off-script we've got eight more months of this stuff to look forward to.

    • GOPCrusher

      But he is learning to play the victim card when he's called out on the stupid shit he says.
      Must have Sarah Palin as a tutor.

      • bikerlaureate

        Damn "gotcha" LIE-beral media, reporting what our betters actually say…

  • Lionel[redacted]Esq

    It is just a shame that we are not all wealthy enough to understand Romney's humor at the expense of the poor.

  • OneYieldRegular

    Keep digging, Mitt. You'll hit bottom eventually.

    • anniegetyerfun

      Or China! Where he can really talk tough about.. the economy and other things that he knows a lot about.

  • owhatever

    It's a Mormon thing. The garbage bags are magic and repel water, so you should keep a few boxes in your end of the world stash. Every NASCAR fan who wears one gets a free baptism in Salt La Kacity and can worship Joseph Smith along with Jesus H. Christ.

  • Lionel[redacted]Esq

    And, really, what is the use of bankrupting tons of company's if you can't them make fun of those who don't have billions of dollars. That is so Anti-American!

  • MrFizzy

    I would be quite pleased to help fit a plastic bag over his head. To keep his hair dry of course.

  • http://facethesuncastnoshadow.wordpress.com/ Mumbletypeg

    Garbage liner — to leakproof your primary garbage containment from turdblossom overflow seepage — sold separately.

  • Fare la Volpe

    Hefty Hefty Hefty

    Wimpy Wimpy Mitty

  • a_pink_poodle

    I've changed my mind. I want Romney now to get the nomination instead of Gingrich.

    Gingrich has the most trash but I find that I enjoy seeing Romney's disastrous attempts at relating to ordinary people.

    • anniegetyerfun

      And it's not like it's going to change. The guy just get so flustered. It's odd, too, because I imagine he's a fairly smart guy, but just not comfortable enough in his own skin to deal with the attention. He seeks it out, and then he fucks it in the face.

  • Lionel[redacted]Esq

    Maybe one of the brilliant minds behind the Romney campaign should see that he now only appears in public dressed as a hobo, so he can bond with the common man.

    • http://loljazzcatz.blogspot.com/ Chet Kincaid

      Undercover Oligarch, Sundays at 8 on CBS!

    • http://Wonkette.com DemmeFatale

      Yeah, since when have the Repubs NOT wanted a rich, white, God-fearing, only-married-once dude!
      Mitt must be losing his mind!

    • bikerlaureate

      Unless he's got Hobo Bean sauce splattered on his oversize polyester lapels, I ain't buying it.

  • meatlofer

    I thought he had enough dough to say when it rains or not.

  • Tommmcattt

    But has he DATED a garbage bag, like I have? This is the real question…

    • Fare la Volpe

      First we let men marry men, and now they want to marry garbage bags!!

      • GOPCrusher

        Next thing you know, we'll have man on garbage bag sex.
        -Rick Santorum

  • freakishlywrong

    In Soviet Russia, garbage wears you.

  • Goonemeritus

    Well I can’t have a beer with him but at least we can stand around in garbage bags discussing what it’s like to be unemployed.

    • anniegetyerfun

      So relatable!

  • Fare la Volpe

    I love America — the garbage bags are all the right length.

    • BaldarTFlagass

      And the right girth, as well.

    • SorosBot

      Has anyone managed to figure out what the fuck he meant with that nonsensical tree comment?

      • Fare la Volpe

        Google has apologized publicly for any problems their Romneytron 3000 may have caused. The problem has been linked to an error in his PanderPlus program and corrections have been made.

  • SayItWithWookies

    Okay, Mitt's never actually worn a garbage bag — but he did help create the cheap, shoddy America where garbage bags were an affordable form of rain gear. And I'll bet those bag-wearing NASCAR fans didn't even thank him.

  • Texan_Bulldog

    Needs more North Face.

    OT but since we're on the topic of garbage bags, here's the cheapest Halloween costume ever: wear one garbage bag, slather on some mayonnaise & presto(!), you're a used condom.

    • KeepFnThatChicken

      I love knowing most The North Face wearers have great manicures and smooth hands.

  • MissTaken

    I'm sure Mitt only wears the garbage bags scented with Febreeze.

    • Texan_Bulldog

      Nahh…it's going to be that expensive Scentsy crap.

    • SorosBot

      And his wife owns two garbage bags encrusted with diamonds.

      • MissTaken

        My garbage bag is encrusted with last night's Lean Cuisine dinner. Not quite the same.

        • SorosBot

          That does not exactly call to mind a pleasant image; ouch.

  • YasserArraFeck

    So desperate for votes, Mittens courts the Homeless Dumpster-Diver bloc

    Romney, (R)efuse

  • HempDogbane

    Hefty cinch sack = magic underwear?

    • http://simplyleftbehind.blogspot.com/ actor212

      Depends

  • WunkRocker

    Conservative media publisher and activist Andrew Breitbart, who was behind investigations that led to the resignations of former Rep. Anthony Weiner of New York and former U.S. Agriculture Department official Shirley Sherrod, has died in Los Angeles at age 43.

    Haha, at least I outlived this shit bucket.

  • gullywompr

    O’Reilly chided somebody for saying stupid off-the-cuff insensitive insulting remarks? Should have given him a membership card instead.

  • KeepFnThatChicken

    Well you know, it’s hard to imagine all the things they’re going to try and turn into attacks.

    Yes, those things called "Shit My Mormon Says"

    • http://simplyleftbehind.blogspot.com/ actor212

      I think you misspelled "Moron"

  • DaRooster

    So Mitt wears garbage bags on the outside? What does he wear underneath?

    Depends…

  • Pragmatist2

    And I bet he looks better in a garbage bag than I do.

  • BlueStateLibel

    Republicans like Bill-O just about now coming to realize what an unmitigated walking, talking disaster they have on their hands with Willard… let the panic begin.

    • YasserArraFeck

      The only thing better than a Romney/Santorum ticket in November would be any ticket with Lou Sarah (like Gingrich/Palin….ohmygodohmygodohmygod…)

  • Baconzgood

    This is his "garbage bag" rain coat.
    http://scrapetv.com/News/News%20Pages/Everyone%20

    EDIT: If you google "garbage bag full of money" and click "Images" the 2nd photo to the right will pleasantly surprise you.

    • BarackMyWorld

      And that's why we need to leave the "Safe Search" on.

  • YasserArraFeck

    Romney Campaign Memo (confidential):
    "We're gonna need a bigger garbage bag"

  • Wilcoxyz

    Now that Mitt has embraced this game of admitting to things working class folks do in a pinch, lets see what else he'll cop to. It's totally lose-lose!

    You steal hotel towels?
    You ever eat dinner over the sink?
    Ever run out of toilet paper and had to improvise?

    C'mon Mitt, what else have you and Joe the Plumber got in common?

  • Poindexter718

    …granted, it was a Burberry garbage bag."

  • Tundra Grifter

    " He probably only rents his suits, too…"

    Never bury your uncle in a rented suit. He'll be gone, but the bills will just keep coming.

  • annettaj

    How the hell does Mitt, the cardboard cutout walk with one
    corrugated foot constantly in his mouth?

  • http://www.wonkette.com/ slowhansolo

    As far as inept walk-backs go, it's kind of "blah."

  • mavenmaven

    With his economic strategy, we'll all be wearing garbage bags soon.

  • Oblios_Cap

    "So, you know, it’s just the nature of the process.”

    I am so ripping this line off.

    • BarackMyWorld

      The possibilities are endless.

  • Sassomatic

    The nature of what freaking process? The process by which he snatches the garbage bag off one of his assistants and sends the assistant out to buy him a raincoat, pronto? I'm assuming that's the process.

  • barto

    "it’s just the nature of the process"

    No human being would ever utter those words in that sequence in that context.

    Romney = robot QED

    • anniegetyerfun

      I was thinking he might be a cartoon drawn and written by the same people who create Mary Worth.

      • http://loljazzcatz.blogspot.com/ Chet Kincaid

        Get Your Mitt On

  • Lucidamente1

    All that water must have brainwashed him.

  • hagajim

    Is it just me, or is Mitt starting to remind everyone more and more of W. Granted, he doesn't have the Tejas accent – but like W. he was a CEO, like W., he was a governor, Like W., he ran a big sports franchise (though its arguable that Mitt did more with the Olympics than W ever did with the Rangers), AND, and like W. he says really stupid shit on a regular basis…..etc. I'm not sure about you all, but I really don't want another CEO Preznit who can bumfuck the country just one more time.

    • http://loljazzcatz.blogspot.com/ Chet Kincaid

      Hmm. Now that you mention it, I'm leaning toward NOT voting for him!

    • GOPCrusher

      RON PAUL 2012!

  • Mahousu

    For once, I wish a politician were a better liar. Mittens is just excruciating.

  • Sheesko

    His wifey wears a good Republican garbage bag coat.

    Note: Versace has branched out. Doing a "Faux G" line of garbage bags "prêt-à-porter" now, in raw silk with 24 KG zippers.

  • http://loljazzcatz.blogspot.com/ Chet Kincaid

    “And I remember it like it was yesterday, the time my Dad took me to MacArthur Park. My Mom wore this yellow, cotton dress, foaming like a wave. And then someone left a cake out in the rain so that all the sweet, green icing was flowing down. And being just a small varmint at the time, I said to my Dad, ‘but it took so long to bake it! Will we ever have that recipe again?’ That’s the America I believe in, where we can all have that recipe again!”

    • ShaveTheWhales

      Gah.

  • Fare la Volpe

    "It's called fashion. Look it up."

  • LiveToServeYa

    The difference between their gaffer and ours is when Joe Biden gaffes, it's a Golden Gaffe of Truth by Accident. When Mitt gaffes, it's Gaffe Gas of Unreality. They can both have a gaffe-off in '16.

    • BarackMyWorld

      Hopefully Mittens goes away after this year.

    • James Michael Curley

      We didn't elect the Gaffer. We got him because he came with the package. (Shipping and handling additional) We had a choice between the package that came with the Gaffer and a package that came with the Grifter. We chose the Gaffer as our free selection

    • GOPCrusher

      Uncle Joe's are chuckalicious.
      Mitten's are cringe-worthy.

  • BarackMyWorld
    • MissTaken

      Very pleased to hear the Senate finally took the garbage out. It was really stinking up the place.

      • SorosBot

        Though I do want to give a big fuck you to my ostensibly Democratic Senator, Bob Casey, for voting for this woman-hating piece of shit bill. Very glad it still went down despite him.

        • MissTaken

          I too am very glad you still go down despite him. Wait, what?

  • James Michael Curley

    Where is SNL when we need a new character. I'm looking for a Mitt Romney version of the character who is at a party and every time someone says something she says she did, had or whatever the same thing but it was bigger, worse or more expensive.©

  • http://www.wonkette.com ManchuCandidate

    Based on his amazing performance in the Least Amazing Race 2012, he'll be lucky to wear a barrel after he gets sent to the electoral poor house.

  • http://loljazzcatz.blogspot.com/ Chet Kincaid

    Every day with Mittens is like another episode of "Third Rock From The Sun."

  • freakishlywrong

    Fine, Mittens. Now, please explain the Mom jeans.

  • jus_wonderin

    I am beginning to think Mitt is not like me.

  • proudgrampa

    I just wanna say that, one summer I spent some time on the Pacific Crest Trail. To save weight, I packed a large plastic garbage bag for rain protection. Best investment I could have ever made.

    Why does Mitt hate the plastics industry so much?

  • Poindexter718

    "By golly, I'll never forget the big storm out on Lake Michigan. We were on the governor's yacht, The Moroni, and nobody had packed the Patagonia foul weather gear. We all donned Hefty bags. Then she began taking on water and the bilge pump failed.
    'Have you got any tampons, Ma?' I asked. We were in luck …"

  • sezme

    Ticket to NASCAR: $45
    Disposable plastic poncho from the concession stand: $12.99
    Being a smarmy rich asshole: priceless

  • rickmaci

    Romoney seems destined to keep opening his mouth for the sole (LOL) purpose of putting the other foot in.

    • Loaded_Pants

      Ann Richards' famous line is very applicable to Mormney.

    • Puffperney

      …and we can look forward to more hilarity throughout most of this year. Yeah!

  • WiscDad

    What a dipshit…he's out of touch with himself

  • DemonicRage

    Thank you, Republicans, for this gift that keeps on giving. Hopey will CRUSH this very inarticulate fellow.

  • Troglodeity

    A garbage bag also makes a great "airtight" travel container for your dog.

  • Troglodeity

    Romney in a garbage bag would look almost as ridiculous as Santorum in a sweater vest.

  • lochnessmonster

    Custom made trash bag raincoat? Taiwan or Paris?

  • ottercliff

    I think I dropped some change into his Dunkies cup a few weeks ago and had no idea it was him!

    Maybe that's how he gets the bucks for Ann's Cadillacs??

  • ottercliff

    OK, he never really wore a garbage bag, but he has a bunch of friends who own garbage bag factories.

  • http://howtosavetheworld.ca/ BZ1

    When even the buffoon O'Reilly is giving him political advice, Mittens is doomed

  • Abernathy

    I hear the nickname "trash bags" is free, ever since the one gal dropped off the Jersey Shore.

  • Abernathy

    Of course, the MittBot would need to be protected from moisture BAMN, even if it means just throwing part of the packaging he came in over his head.

  • http://www.facebook.com/pages/Johnny-Appletruth/133951326629923?sk=wall deanbooth

    Don't be sad, be Glad© you have any clothing at all.

  • snackypants

    Mittens is a big trash talker.

  • Negropolis

    Hey, Willard, men in magic underpants shouldn't throw stones. Jis' sayin'.

  • http://strangestoriesaboutsadpeople.blogspot.com/ Thedongsofwar

    "Thank you for coming to my rally in this awful <PROTOCOL: RUN STATENAME> weather. I wish you had dressed a little nicer though"

  • http://intensedebate.com/people/mrblifil mrblifil

    I like his manicured and managed national campaign effort, involving friendly and compliant media personalities. Really sprang for the big bucks.

  • Come here a minute

    Garbage bags? Fancy Mitt, even his garbage gets its own bag.