Activist Judges

Montana’s Top Federal Judge Says Obama’s Mom Screwed Dogs

Lost in your eyes.The top federal judge in Montana simply does not care for America’s federal president, Barack Obama. That’s why he had no choice but to send a racist email that suggests Barack Obama is black because his white mother was impregnated by a … dog. A black dog, we guess? “The only reason I can explain it to you is I am not a fan of our president,” Bush-nominated federal judge Richard Cebull said instead of apologizing.

While local GOP public officials are primarily known for forwarding stupid racist emails about the president because of the sin of his race, most stick to the common redneck themes of watermelons and monkeys and African tribes.

Judge Cebull, however, is a maverick. His racist email adds canines to the mix, literally:

“A little boy said to his mother, ‘Mommy, how come I’m black and you’re white?’ His mother replied, ‘Don’t even go there Barack! From what I can remember about that party, you’re lucky you don’t bark!’ ”

It’s funny, you see, because black people are animals! Luckily, Montana’s top federal judge explained that he is not at all racist. He simply does not care for the president, and it has nothing whatsoever to do with the fact that Barack Obama was made from the semen of a dog.

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“The only reason I can explain it to you is I am not a fan of our president, but this goes beyond not being a fan,” Cebull said. “I didn’t send it as racist, although that’s what it is. I sent it out because it’s anti-Obama.”

Why does Barack Obama want to keep patriots like Judge Richard Cebull from speaking their minds? [Billings Gazette]

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315 comments

  1. Negropolis

    Your honor, if it may please the court (and I know it will), can you write my "fuck you" into the court record?

    I love that the defense is that he's anti-his boss, as if that's better than him being a racist prig…which he is, also, too, tambien.

    1. ShaveTheWhales

      President Obama is not his boss, although that doesn't make the dickhead judge any less racist.

      1. Negropolis

        You're totally right. I had a total brainfart. Anyway, his parsing is hilarious as it always is with these unfortunate situations.

    2. BerkeleyBear

      He just wanted to get out of ever handling a case involving the Obama administration. You know, so much work. Guess those ranchers suing the EPA will have to find some other troglodyte appointed by W to put their thumb on the scale of justice.

    1. Biel_ze_Bubba

      I'm sensing the end of a career here. This guy's official resume now has "RACIST ASSHOLE" stamped in huge red letters on every page.

      Oh — and guess who nominates Federal judges for higher positions?

          1. FROTHY

            Well, yes, in *this* administration, and, hopefully for the next four years, but if this creep hangs on beyond that period, hasn't he every chance in the world of advancement up the career ladder?

          2. Biel_ze_Bubba

            Only if the howling nutbags take over completely (in which case he's Supreme Court material.)

          3. Nothingisamiss

            "Let us work against that horrible day."

            I think I've found myself a one sentence motivation (as if I needed any, but still) for this coming election. Really. Great thought, great line.

          4. Nothingisamiss

            Hey, my friend how are you? I'm thinking good thoughts for you, and I'm one of those rare wonkeratti who prays, so I'm praying all is well and only Newtie is going down (in the bad way, not the good way) this superest Tuesday.

            *hugs*

          5. Huevos Ocupados

            Can we really rule out a 'bipartisan compromise' that would find our hero nominating this guy for scotus in exchange for a jelly filled donut (flavor to be determined at a later date)?

        1. FROTHY

          You know how the wingnuts are always praying that doodledy about Barry, something about cutting his life short? May his days bla bla baaah baaah (falls on all fours, munches on lawn) where was I?

          Oh, yes. We have no idea how long Mr. DICK Cebull's life will be. However, it would appear that it is not wrong to hope or pray that it be short.

          1. tessiee

            "(falls on all fours, munches on lawn)"

            Uh oh, you guys — Frothy's going all Nebucchadnezzar on our asses!
            Or Ferdinand the Bull, maybe.

      1. BerkeleyBear

        This douche wouldn't want to get elevated to the 9th circuit anyways – too many liberals. I'm sure he's thrilled to be pocketing 140k a year for life (which is really good for most lawyers in Big Sky country) and running GOP fundraisers on the side.

        Now, there was a time when impugning the dignity of a lady was a crime – but back then, pointing out the fact that Stanley Anne Dunham willingly slept with a blah man would probably be a complete defense.

          1. BerkeleyBear

            Yeah, but chastity doesn't count if they have kids (I had to research this shit at one point and it stuck). That's why I went with the broader dignity, which has generally fallen out of the law.

      2. tessiee

        "guess who nominates Federal judges for higher positions?"

        Hitler?
        No, that can't be right.

  2. Negropolis

    Oh, poor babies. Are they finally coming to the realization that all the fuckin' money in the world won't gussy up their fucked up policies and ideologies? Are they just pissed that Occupy, Anonymous, and the rest have both finally found out and are exposing their racket, and are dead-set on displaying this in their vote come November?

    Keep fuckin' that chicken, conservatives.

    1. Swampgas_Man

      Nawww, they're just STILL, ALMOST FOUR FUCKING YEARS LATER, pissed off that the Nearer guy won.

      1. Negropolis

        I'm almost sensing some self-awareness, though, as if they are realizing that maybe they can't remove him just by wishing him away with their hate.

    2. Ruhe

      Of course they'll keep fucking that chicken. In Republican circles the "sunken money dilemma" is held as a principle that applies to every aspect of life. When it appears that their ideologies are being exposed they'll just double down with more of the same. When you're sure God loves you you know that you'll draw Jack, Ace the very next time…or the one after that for sure.

  3. AddHomonym

    "The only reason I can explain it to you is…" "I didn’t send it as racist…" Those are some well-constructed sentences. His lordship displays impeccable reasoning skills. That's great for a judge.

    1. Fukui-sanYesOta

      You know what's funny during Rosh Hashanah? A cattle train to Auschwitz

      Hey, I just remarked on it. It's not racist or bigoted or anything.

    1. tessiee

      Were the original questions:
      How do we get these two scumbags to disappear?
      and
      What is their intelligence level?

  4. smokefilledroommate

    I didn’t send it as racist, although that’s what it is. I sent it out because it’s anti-Obama.

    So he wasn't merely trying to be a racist prick, he wanted to be an anti-Obama racist prick.. Makes all the difference. Thanks for clarifying.

    1. Biel_ze_Bubba

      If you want clarity, check out the "discussion" tab on that Billings Gazette link. Makes very clear what goes on in the minds of true-blue racist redneck morons.

  5. RavenRant

    And don't forget the misogyny! Cuz Obama's mother is a slutty, slutty, slut who was into gang bangs and bestiality, obvs.

    BTW, I linked to this story in the comments on the previous post several hours ago. Just sayin'.

    1. OzoneTom

      And coming out of Arizona, the story involving our favorite Sheriff (after Omar and Andy) busting some "open marriage" types for trying to get some sweet, sweet dog-on-woman sexy-times:
      http://www.azcentral.com/news/articles/2012/02/28

      Maybe they just wanted to try for a future U.S. President in the family tree.

      A disappointed dog was unavailable for comments.

    1. flamingpdog

      No, not at all, but at least have a little respect for the flag pin he's wearing on this suit coat.

        1. FROTHY

          We're not even gay-married and you never listen to a thing I say. I said I was leaving on FRIDAY. Did you know that today is Wednesday? Wednesday actually occurs two whole days before Friday, in most calendars in use in this universe.

          I'm crabby. I miss all of you and I'm fucking crabby as hell and I haven't finished packing.

          1. RavenRant

            Okay, I missed all of the earlier explanations. Where are you going and why? And why aren't you happy about taking a vacation, Crabby Appleton?

          2. FROTHY

            I knew I'd just get myself deeper in the shit for crabbing. It never fails. Kick the furniture and stub yer toe.

            It's not a vacation. I'm going away, on FRIDAY, and I might not be back for quite a while, although I'll sneak in for a bit on SuperTuesday because I must know which of these miserable motherfuckers will finally lose it and start screaming "N*****!!" at the top of their lungs in public while jacking off in the faces of the other candidates. Is that wrong of me? OK, I guess it is.

            Let's just say it's not a happy time. I hope everything will be fine and I'll be back in a month or two, but if not, well, it might be a while before I talk to y'all.

          3. RavenRant

            I wish you the very best possible journey, and hope you arrive at your destination safe and sound.

            Crab away, if it releases stress. We Wonketteers don't crumple. We are made of sterner stuff than that.

            I will hold off on farewells till FRIDAY. ;-)

          4. FROTHY

            (Hugs the Raven) No, kiddo,let's say g'bye now. I might not have much time tomorrow to sneak in for my Wonketz fix, and I know I won't have time Friday.

            I'm just really happy to have found such a wonderful place and such wonderful peeps. And I'll miss my daily fix. But I hope I'll be back soon with vile invective ready for the race.

          5. RavenRant

            Hugs, FROTHY! Fare thee well. (Although I'm betting we will 'see' each other in comments tonight and tomorrow.)

            I sense we share a touch of internet induced procrastination syndrome.

          6. FROTHY

            Thanks, sweetie! I'll miss you! I'm here for a bit, and if I get done in time tomorrow I've promised myself a few minutes here. You know. One last hit before I go. You take care of yourself. And never quit being a troublemaker!

          7. Jukesgrrl

            Frothy, as of midnight it's my birthday and I hereby dedicate the anniversary of my March 1 arrival on the planet to your well-being and safe return to The Wonketeria. In like a lion and out like a lamb, or vice versa; you may choose this year. Fare thee well.

          8. FROTHY

            Happy birfday, Jukesgrrl! Yay! I'm so glad you were born, man. Have a wonderful birfday for me, and we'll celebrate when I get back. Hugs!

          9. Jukesgrrl

            Thanks to everyone who sent me b'day greetings.We went to Mr. K's Barbecue for dinner.Roommate, try it if you haven't.I had mac 'n cheese with my 'cue. Imagine, I know that's a special occasion dish even tho I'm as white as the pulled chicken.(Pat Robertson libel … I'm pleased to provide.)

          10. comrad_darkness

            Happy B-day. Have a virtual pizza. (I don't have a slot in this computer for a real one)

          11. tessiee

            Yes, you do.
            It's a very small pizza holder, only about the size of a CD-rom, but if you push the button, it pops out…
            Uh oh.

          12. FROTHY

            I will, DerrickWildcat. (Hugs Derrick) I'm taking my camera. It's not as good as yours, but I'm still in practice mode, and if I have time I will take pictures of birds and shit in a country far away and maybe some might even be good enough to show you. I will be looking at your pictures. You take care of yourself.

          13. DCBloom

            I'm here everyday for a number of years. I rarely comment. Either because I don't have the time, or because by the time I read through all the comments, I realize that you guys have already taken all the good snarks.

            ANYWAY…. Frothy, you are one of my favs, so I just wanted to send you a big ol' hug from the sidelines. Your comments will be missed.

          14. FROTHY

            Thank you so much, DCBloom! I'm so pleased to meet you! You and I can keep each other company on the sidelines soon, since time differences will probly keep me commentless for a while. (Hugs the li'l flower) I'll look for you!

          15. UnholyMoses

            Wishing you the best, FROTHY!!!

            <<man hug>>

            Take care of yourself and do try to pop in every once in a while to post one of your righteous rants.

            Mmm'kay?

            :-)

          16. FROTHY

            You KNEW I sneaked back in here when I warn't supposed to, din'tchu? I BLAME BREITBART!!!

            Total BRUG, dood. I'll never mistake you for anyone else again. Or is that the OTHER Moses?

          17. RavenRant

            I wondered how many would get the reference. Do you remember Beanie and Cecil, too? And "Drizzle, drazzle, drozzle, drone / Time for this one to come home?"

          18. tessiee

            I remember that Cecil was a seasick sea serpent, and that's all.

            Tom Terrific wore a funnel for a hat, and he was on ?? Davey and Goliath? Or Crusader Rabbit and Rags the tiger? Some show that aired at 6 am, anyway.

          19. RavenRant

            TT was on Captain Kangaroo. Davey and Goliath – I always got sucked in by the animation, before I remembered it had tiresome religious messages. I was pretty religious as a kid, but PLEEZE! Leave the cartoons alone!

            And Beanie and Cecil went under several names.

            Back to the racist/misogynist judge!

          20. finallyhappy

            Davey and Goliath- those early claymation christian cartoons- I liked Goliath's voice!

          21. flamingpdog

            Well, on the positive side, we're gonna vote to legalize small amounts of marijuana for personal usage here in the Square State come November, not just for sick peoplez.

          22. Crank_Tango

            Little known math fact: if you use many many small amounts of marijuana, it can sometimes add up to larger amounts, and nachos.

            The more you know!

          23. FROTHY

            Yay~! I bet that will work wonders on your stomach, pdog. Srsly. I dropped 60 lb last year because I couldn't eat, dr. thought it was cancer, sent me for every test under the sun. Started smoking a little of the Noble Weed, and here I am, as fat as a hippo once more, and twice as happy. Here's hoping your innards respond the same way. I recommend the purple strains. They're pretty soothing and relaxing, and these days the stuff you can get just isn't like the old "take a toke and fart yer brain out" stuff we used to have in the old days. Nowadays you can get strains that make you hyper, or sleepy, or hungry, or giggly, or OCD-ey — or pretty much anything, really. Here's hoping!

      1. Crank_Tango

        It's like racist, homophobic, misogynistic and derpy, all rolled into one.

        ETA: Fat, also.

    2. tessiee

      What could be wrong with you?
      Isn't Grimace supposed to be funny?
      That *is* Grimace, right?

  6. hagajim

    What happened to respect in this country? We used to at least respect the office of the President, now an asshole can be an asshole no matter what. Maybe Barry ought to lose this jackasses paycheck for 6 or 7 months

      1. Jukesgrrl

        Seriously, you'd think that incident with OBL would have put the fear of God in them. But they must believe in their own white power. Bwahahahhahahaha.

        1. FROTHY

          Remember when he cornered RapeGurneyJoe Lieberman (I-MEEEE!) in the Senate? Lieberman was good as gold for MONTHS afterwards. I wish Barry would just cold lift Mitch McConnell off his feet by that turkey neck and whisper "Quit fucking with me Mitch" in his best baritone in Mitchie's ear. The guy is gonna outshit Seamus Romney if that happens.

  7. Huevos Ocupados

    You would think that a judge, of all people, would know a thing or two about what makes for a really crappy explanation of an offensive action.

    “Your honor, I didn’t rob the bank because I wanted the money, I really just wanted to prove that I’m a badass.”

    “Oh, well in that case you’re free to go, my good man.”

    1. FROTHY

      Uh … A SQUEEZE ME, he is speaking about a BLAH person. It is simply not offensive to imply that BLAH persons might be dogs also too.

  8. RadioCualquier

    Hey Jr., you know who else sent you this tip like 2 hours ago? Ah, I've had my tuner fucked with before. Merry Xmas.
    Anyshizzle, talk about wacktivist judges.

  9. FROTHY

    Lookit all these fucking slackers hanging around late at night in strange, filthy online fora like the fetal-rat-abortions that they are mocking on some fine, upright White folks simply for being white and therefore naturally inclined to associate them culludz wiv bestiality.

    Also, can this motherfucker be impeached for conduct unbecoming? Any federal judges in here care to come out of the closet and tell us?

    1. flamingpdog

      Dude, we can't even get the Rethugs to help impeach Slappy Thomas, much less a honky from Idaho.

      1. FROTHY

        Don't mind me, I was just being all Hopey, like my Prez.

        I sneaked back in here when I'm *supposed* to be packing and sleeping and shit. Don't give me grief.

        1. Fukui-sanYesOta

          I think I forgot to congratulate you on your rehabilitation. If I did, I do so now – don't leave us for a month though, we'll just get lonesome and fighty.

          1. FROTHY

            I can't remember either, so I'll just accept. I'll try very hard to sneak back, only problem is, the time diff. Most likely I'll be up and about when everyone else is snoring in their beds, and it'll be like being in school when everyone's gone for the holidays, or something, you know? And of course, everything depends on factors not in my control.

            But if you get lonesome and fighty, I shall certainly pop in all snooty and condescending and rage at everyone in a shouty manner until they start picking on me instead, as they often do. (Hugs you fiercely)

            And you take good care of yourself and if you find your foot anywhere within reach of Mittens' Nuticles, or Santorum's, deliver one of those patented combination ballet-ninja-taekwondo goolie-busters for me, won't you, darlz?

        2. ShaveTheWhales

          Best of luck with whatever it is you don't seem to be looking forward to all that much. Come back safe. With any luck, we'll still be here.

          1. FROTHY

            (Hugs ShaveTheWhales) Thanks. Please be here. I don't think I'd want to live in a world without Wonketteerz and hopefully also even at the Wonketz too.

    2. C_R_Eature

      Hey, Froth, best of luck out there, stay strong, try and laugh a little and hurry back. I'll see if I can't send some strange & disturbing things to your gmail addy to make you feel at home.
      I'll Tolchock some Troll Yarbles for you, while you're gone.

    3. C_R_Eature

      Oh, and if you need any research assistance, drop us a line. I'm sure we can help. Smart people play here.

        1. C_R_Eature

          I'm no Oncologist, but I know Biology, can do research and have, unfortunately, been there with friends and family before. I'll bet I'm not the only one here, too.

          Will need keywords and, no promises, will find out what I can. Knowledge is essential. Will take this offline

    4. Deportably_Jose

      Can be impeached. Won't be impeached, though. Hell, the Congress won't even confirm new judges, because the Blah guy asked for them, do you really think they're going to get rid of a judge who likes to "joke" that the Blah guy's mom liked to fuck dogs?

  10. flamingpdog

    "The mind is a weapon too." – James Knox.

    Uh, sir, if you need to be out looking for ammo for any weapon, I suggest you look first for some for that weapon. You're shooting blanks at the moment.

    1. finallyhappy

      Good quote- but I'm sre that is not the kind of weapon they sell over in Virginia(I am too damn close to that state)

  11. PrimlyStable

    I think this proves that the only thing Wingnuts hate more than having a black president is the idea of white women having sex with black men.

    1. valthemus

      If you've ever hung around the white supremacist web forums you'd see that, indeed, the quickest way to drive those guys truly crazy is to talk about black men having sex with white women. Seal, Tiger Woods, even Melvin Van Peebles… convenient buttons to push to get a dose of instant rage out of your friendly neighborhood racist.

  12. ShaveTheWhales

    I love it that Knox is a Montana state legislator who has a job in Texas. It must be his good looks that got him elected.

  13. Biel_ze_Bubba

    Hey Cebull — the only barking going on here is coming from you. I think you should have a talk with your mother.

    That's a joke, Mr. Cebull. You are laughing, right?

        1. FROTHY

          It is never a good idea to slander anyone/thing homicidal, at least not while within reach. I hereby withdraw my suggestion.

    1. comrad_darkness

      No way, she only lets the dogs have the back door. His mother is a classy lady.

      Another joke! I'm sure he's laughing.

  14. FROTHY

    And when he got older, he graduated to much nastier things.

    Anybody who jokes so casually about shooting and killing other people is worth watching.

    1. tessiee

      Really, the more I look at him, the more he creeps me out. The vacant smile is downright scary, like somebody who tortures animals in his basement. He reminds me of Patrick Hockstetter in that Stephen King book, IT.

  15. mavenmaven

    The only consolation is that these jerks have to live in Montana. Cold, desolate, cow-tipping Montana.

    1. Fukui-sanYesOta

      I used to like trolling Wonkette, but I got tired of it. – you

      Your second link is bullshit (it was the only one I bothered clicking) – a poor quality refutation of the Southern Strategy. It contains the following:

      Believe it or not, the entire myth was created by an unknown editor at the New York Times who didn’t do his job and read a story he was given to edit.

      On May 17, 1970, the New York Times published an article written by James Boyd. The headline, written by our unknown editor, was “Nixon’s Southern Strategy: It’s All in the Charts.”

      The article was about a very controversial political analyst named Kevin Phillips.

      Let's hear from the architect of the Southern Strategy, Lee Atwater:

      You start out in 1954 by saying, "Nigger, nigger, nigger." By 1968 you can't say "nigger" — that hurts you. Backfires. So you say stuff like forced busing, states' rights and all that stuff. You're getting so abstract now [that] you're talking about cutting taxes, and all these things you're talking about are totally economic things and a byproduct of them is [that] blacks get hurt worse than whites. And subconsciously maybe that is part of it. I'm not saying that. But I'm saying that if it is getting that abstract, and that coded, that we are doing away with the racial problem one way or the other. You follow me — because obviously sitting around saying, "We want to cut this," is much more abstract than even the busing thing, and a hell of a lot more abstract than "Nigger, nigger."

      1. di_da_is_alpha

        How about some LBJ quotes? The Democrat Party is still the party of slavery, they've just changed their strategy.

        "Under my plan, energy prices will necessarily skyrocket."

        The price of gasoline now as compared to January 20th, 2009? Obama's toast, and it has nothing to do with the color of the man's skin. So quit hiding you failed fucking political philosophy behind it, you racist piece of shit.

        How ya like me now? : )

        1. Fukui-sanYesOta

          The "party of slavery" – yes, perhaps if you go back that far. I don't think there's a commenter here who'd claim otherwise, since it'd be disingenuous.

          Your segue from the price of gasoline to your accusation of racism is … interesting.

          I found this in your first link:

          Richard Johnston of the University of Pennsylvania and Byron Shafer of the University of Wisconsin argue that the shift in the South from Democratic to Republican was overwhelmingly a question not of race but of economic growth. In the postwar era, they note, the South transformed itself from a backward region to an engine of the national economy, giving rise to a sizable new wealthy suburban class.

          How has that played out? These are mostly states which take more Federal Ameros than they commit. Perhaps that's a badge of honour in your circles, but to me it seems like those states are poverton and the people need help.

          How do I like you now? I'm ambivalent. You seem a little stupid, but I'll reserve my judgement.

          Your friend,
          a racist piece of shit.

          1. C_R_Eature

            Oh, boy. We've been graced by a visit from The Boy In The Bubble, again.
            The Information Bubble, that is.

            Was there a Breitbart post I missed, somewhere? That always brings them out.

          1. RavenRant

            They're too dumb brainwashed to realize that the party that is constantly caught spewing racist, dehumanizing, eliminationist hate speech, as well going to extreme lengths to keep them from voting, is the party that really has their best interests at heart.

            Wut iz their goldurn problum, anyway?

        2. RavenRant

          The price of gas was quite low on January 20, 2009, because of a little something called the Bush Global Financial Catastrophe. The resulting worldwide recession decimated demand for fuel.

          However, just a few months earlier, in July of 2008, gas prices reached a record high of $4.11. And not a single lying, trolling wingnut said boo about it, or breathed a word of blame against the Most Incompetent President in History™.

          We don't all have Alzheimer's, as inconvenient as that may be for Republicans.

    2. RavenRant

      Yes, imbecile. 150 years ago, the Republicans were split between the Radicals and the Liberals.

      And then with the Civil Rights Act of 1965 and the Voting Rights Act of 1965, which were passed by Democratic majorities in the House and Senate, and were signed into law by a Democratic president, the racist southern Democrats switched parties and became racist southern Republicans. See Strom Thurmond, Jesse Helms, Trent Lott, David Duke, ad infinitum. Some racist southerners left the Democratic Party and became Independents like George Wallace and Lester Maddox.

      And the liberal and moderate Republicans who voted for the two Acts were purged from the party.

      If you were capable of reading, as opposed to cutting and pasting, you might have noticed that 100% of southern Republicans in the House and Senate voted against the Civil Rights Act, whereas a small handful of southern Democrats voted for it.

      As for the ridiculous wingnut meme that Republicans 'passed' the Civil Rights Act and Voting Rights Act, ten seconds of research would have netted you the info that in 1964 and 1965, the House and Senate were both controlled by Democratic majorities, and by wide margins. Republicans could not have passed the legislation if a majority of Democrats hadn't voted for the legislation.

      And it is worth noting that Republicans chose Barry Goldwater, a man who voted against the Civil Rights Act, as their presidential candidate in 1964. And by 1968, Nixon had begun developing the 'Southern Strategy' of playing on white resentment of minorities.

      And that is why the red states and the former confederate states are so closely aligned.

      As for welfare, I'm betting that you have your snout deep in the government trough. Like free market hero Michele Bachmann, who's been leaching off the government her entire adult life. Or free market hero Joe Miller in Alaska, who lived off his wife's unemployment and had every one of his eight children on medicaid. Or free market hero Paul Ryan, who lived off Social Security as a teen, and has been sponging off the government ever since. Or free market hero Newt Gingrich, whose entire career has been on the public dime or profiting from graft and influence peddling using his government connections.

      So what's your welfare? Social Security? Medicare? Disability? Farm subsidy? War profiteering? Don't bother responding. I've wasted enough time educating your dumb, dishonest ass.

      1. Deportably_Jose

        Lemme try and anticipate Little Mr. Trollfaec's counterpoint:

        BUUT ROBERT BYRD!!1

        Nevermind that Byrd confessed of his racist past repeatedly and spent the last 50 years of his life trying to make amends, whereas Strom "Segregation Forever" Thurmond, and Trent "We wouldn't have had the problems we have if the Segregation Party had won the presidency" Lott never recanted anything about their earlier racist and pro-segregation positions, which they continued to hold for decades after Byrd found religion.

        1. RavenRant

          Thanks for helping. I have only done this remedial ejumication about a hundred thousand times. It never registers.

          It's almost as if they enjoy lying.

      2. Chichikovovich

        See what I told you? Who needs snark when you can serve up some righteous denunciations of idiocy like this Smithsonian-quality sample?

        [Embarrassed admission: The pun in your name just struck me. Rave and rant. Only took me four months too. Us profesurz be smartt.]

        1. RavenRant

          As long as it gave you a moment of amusement.

          I am a pioneer in the field of DRH*

          *Delayed Release Humor

        2. RavenRant

          Eel! Eek! Eek! I spotted a typo in my comment, uncorrectable now. This is the stuff that nightmares are made of.

          Yes, I am a smidge compulsive, why do you ask?

        1. C_R_Eature

          "The judges say 'Close enough!'" *Ding* 500 points go to you!
          We would also have accepted No Clitoris Bacardi

    3. JustPixelz

      Which party … Dred Scott…

      No Republican appointed justices voted on the Dred Scott case because the Republican party wasn't fully formed in 1857. The 7-2 decision was led by Chief Justice Taney, a Jackson (Democrat) appointee.

      That court decision led directly to the "birthright clause" in the 14th Amendment. (A clause many of today's Republicans oppose, citing "anchor babies" and "terror babies" and, other, basically, non-white babies as a problem. Taney would approve.)

      In the years that followed, the South became staunchly Democratic because Lincoln was a Republican. And black voters — where they existed — became Republicans for the same reason. But in the last 50 years or so, those allegiances have been reversed, primarily because northern Democrats supported civil rights for African-Americans.

      So how much credit or blame can today's Republicans and Democrats take for Dred Scott decision? None. I think all those justices are dead now.

      1. Tundra Grifter

        JustPixelz:

        A careful reading of the Wong Kim Ark Supreme Court decision (1898) shows the "birthright clause" of the 14th Amendment didn't change the existing law. The opinion holds the law had been the same since America's founding. For white males, of course.

        It did extend that right to all citizens – Black, Asian, gypsy – everybody.

      2. glamourdammerung

        No Republican appointed justices voted on the Dred Scott case because the Republican party wasn't fully formed in 1857.

        Like Breitards care enough about the truth to let it get in the way of a non-sequitur.

    4. glamourdammerung

      Which party's Supreme Court majority voted in the Dred Scott case? I fergets.

      Because absolutely nothing has changed in this country in the last 150 years or so.

      Oh, your master died today. Thought I would point that out.

  16. MilwaukeeKent

    They insist it isn't about race and they keep passing this stuff around, it's the "Get off my watermelon lawn!" crowd, and it's like everyone has one in the family. I do. It's a damned shame this guy is out of Billings — that city did something great once but that was back in 1993 http://nhdmontanahistorytopics.pbworks.com/w/page

    That's American Exceptionalism.
    So, as the top Federal Judge in Montana,and likely a little proud of himself, no doubt he'd welcome the same show of disrespect for authority in his own court room, seeing it as humor and all. Montana defense attornies, take note of that.

    1. Barrelhse

      I'd think it would be all in good fun if the citizens threw dog shit at him while he's sitting on the bench- not because he's white, but instead because they don't like him. No harm done.

  17. C_R_Eature

    Well, Wonketteers, we made it through February, somehow. Spring's on it's way, trees are budding, the first Trolls have appeared on the community lawn and now it's time for The Waters of March

    It's the promise of life. It's the joy in your heart.

  18. Jukesgrrl

    That dishonorable man is very, very white under those piggy-pink cheeks. I move that every defendant with skin even a shade browner than his, who was sentenced from Judge Cebull's bench, should be awarded a new trial in a different court if they so wish. I don't care how much it costs. It's a matter of judicial ethics. He has demonstrated extreme bias and an inability to control it even when the most basic courtesy to his superior is called for. Why should we believe that his prejudice has never factored in to one of his trials or sentencings?

  19. mermera

    So I'm walking around in Westside Dallas early one morning and a very drunk George W. Bush stumbles out of a bar holding up a guy in a Wonder Woman outfit. Whoa partner I says, around here that guy is a queer. And George says, he's not queer, there was a costume party last night in there. And I says, shut up George, someone will hear you, I was talking to Wonder Woman.

  20. ChuckieJesus

    Reppin' every kid that ever really asked the question that starts that little 'joke': You can kiss my black ass.

    1. RavenRant

      The amount of sickening mental filth required to 'get' this 'joke' is… words fail. Words like obscene, horrific, grotesque, diseased, depraved, do not begin to do this justice.

  21. C_R_Eature

    Woah, wait a minute now, pardner! You tryin' t' tell me that Barry O'Bamagh is a Half of a Nigra? Ah thought he was just Black Irish!

    Well Sheeeeeeeeeiiiiiiitttt!!

  22. JustPixelz

    Hey this is a fun game!

    A little boy said to his mother, "Mommy, how come you're normal and I'm a Republican?" His mother replied, "Don't even go there Richard Cebull! From what I know about that party, you're lucky you don't goose-step when you walk!"

    A little boy said to his mother, "Mommy, how come you're female and I'm a male?" His mother replied, "Who told you I'm female?"

    A little boy said to his mother, "Mommy, why are your knees always scraped?" His mother replied, "Don't go there Richard Cebull! Ever since President Santorum outlawed birth control, I've been praying a lot more."

    1. FNMA

      OK, I'll play: A little boy said to his mother, "Mommy, how come you're normal and I'm a Republican?" His mother replied, "Don't even go there Richard Cebull! From what I know about that party, you're lucky you're not a fat white grifter named Newt Jr. or governor of Alaska."

    2. tessiee

      A little boy said to his mother, "Mommy, why are your knees always scraped?" His mother replied, "Don't go there Richard Cebull! Ever since President Santorum outlawed birth control, it's blowjobs or nothing."

    3. tessiee

      A little boy said to his mother, "Mommy, my butthole hurts!" HIs mother replied, "That's just too bad, little Jimmy Knox. Now shut up and go back to Judge Richard Cebull's chambers, so he'll overturn Mommy's meth conviction."

  23. ttommyunger

    Judges and college professors: God's gift to the little people, in their minds. They produced Newt Gingrich and this ignorant turd. Your Honor, my ass.

  24. Deportably_Jose

    Obvious problems:

    1) Just because you're only racist in private, doesn't mean you're not racist.

    2) Email sent from a workplace account, much less a government account, is not "in private", by any stretch of the imagination

    3) Suggesting that Obama's mother is a whore and into bestiality, because she had a mixed-race child, is not "Anti-Obama"; it's anti-mixed-raced-people. Read: RACIST

    4) The fact that this guy is on the bench, anwhere in this country at all.

    1. RavenRant

      Parsing the many layers of bigotry required to find this 'joke' 'funny' is not so much of a challenge.

      1) People of African descent are barely a step above dogs.

      2) A white woman could not possibly have sex with a person of African descent without being addled with drink or drugs. "From what I can remember about that party…"

      3) A white woman who has consensual sex with a person of African descent must also be willing to engage in orgies or gang bangs.

      4) ANY white woman who would have consensual sex with a person of African descent would not hesitate to engage in bestiality.

      5) A white man can innocently tell this 'joke' without revealing and acknowledging antisocial, pathological levels of racism, misogyny, and white male supremacist beliefs.

      6) A white man who has openly demonstrated virulent hatred, contempt, and bigotry toward black people, women, and minorities can perform competently and impartially as a judge in the United States justice system.

      What could possibly go wrong?

      1. Chichikovovich

        Nailed it. There are so many dimensions of loathsome in this joke it takes time to unravel them all. One might also add that this tells us that this guy's social circle consists of people who he expects would find this excrement funny.

        I remember being struck with how many levels of disgusting there were when McCain told his revolting "joke" about Hilary/Janet Reno/Chelsea. (That someone could tell a "joke" like that, along with the Bomb Iran ditty and still be considered a viable presidential candidate is just beyond my comprehension.) Throws a hateful, hurtful insult at the physical appearance of the Attorney General, the FLOTUS and the president's teenage daughter (his teenage daughter, for Christ's sake!). Suggests the daughter is not in fact the President's natural daughter. Suggests that Hilary and Janet Reno are lesbians – there is nothing wrong if they are, but the suggestion is motivated just by an insulting stereotype of lesbians and a judgement that Hilary and Reno don't fit McCain's and his bozo buddies' ideal of feminine deference and physical appearance. And, of course, it displays the attitude that to be a lesbian is a shameful thing. I've probably even missed a few.

        But this piece of vomit spewed out by – ahem – His Honor – has an even denser dimensions-of-hatefulness – to – word ratio.

    2. finallyhappy

      Doesn't every employer tell you that-there is no expectation of privacy on a company email or on the company computer- so you cannot switch to another email account and be "homefree"

      1. Deportably_Jose

        True. But even with the lack of privacy, most non-fuckwitted private employers aren't going to waste time and manpower snooping on employees unless they have a decent reason to do so.

        Working for the government, on the other hand, is an entirely different beast, since you are routinely required to save and disclose any and all office communications, and you'd have to be a moron not to know this, or to know this and pull some shit like this anyway. Which is what makes the fact that this guy sent it from a work email (that the original article notes that he sent it to his private email account, among other recipients) particularly galling.

        1. finallyhappy

          I worked for the Feds so I know the gov't rules- not that it stopped people from downloading porn,gambling or running a business(not gambling or porn- but still not legal) on their office computers- fired, demoted, put on unpaid leave(or just left alone to do it again until it hit the newspapers). I am sure there would have been plenty of awful emails sent but we were relatively low level in my office so generally anyone I worked with would not have been caught

      2. tessiee

        Number of milliseconds I would have lasted in any job I've ever had, if I'd been crass and stupid enough to send a bestiality joke from my work email?

  25. BaldarTFlagass

    What?!? No comments about "mental floss" or "pigmy pony" or "zircon encrusted tweezers" yet!?! Either I read through these too fast or y'all are slacking off.

    1. RavenRant

      ??? These references – ??? Is there a sekrit wonket with zircon encrusted tweezer jokes?

        1. RavenRant

          My Zappa knowledge is clearly limited. 'We're Only In It For The Money', 'If She Were My daughter, I'd…', 'Suzy Cream Cheese', 'Brown Shoes'…

          Clearly, I have a lot to learn.

          1. Chichikovovich

            I worked on pipeline construction out in the Canadian wilderness in the summers to pay for undergraduate school. No radio stations out there except CBC and (french) SRC which only had classical music and sometimes traditional folk. So whoever had the biggest car stereo got to establish the soundtrack for the summer. One summer that happened to be a single-minded Zappa fanatic. He was also one of the welders, and so therefore #1 in the crew coolness hierarchy, so if he said Zappa, it was Zappa. 24/7.

            I could sing that guy in my sleep at this point, and I didn't even like it all that much. (Though I did love certain moments – zircon encrusted tweezers/ move to Montana to become a dental floss tycoon was one of them.)

  26. finallyhappy

    I am so sick of morons screaming First amendment(this could apply to this story but I'm pissed about something local) who don't understand it.- They say " free speech" but have no idea of what the amendment says- that the gov't makes no law about it. You can say something or print something and the gov't may not do anything about it -but the first amendment has nothing to do with your employer's right to fire you or someone to complain and demand that something offensive be removed- it doesn't affect your first amendment rights- you got to say it or ask for it to be said and now the private sector is getting rid of it- or you. I HATE THE STUPID!!!!!

    1. tessiee

      And here I thought the cruel and threatening "fire at will" environment (believe me, even if that's not the law on the books, that's the way it actually works) was exactly what these nuts wanted because, you know, free market and anything jerb creators do is OK…
      But when it affects/applies to them, they don't like it? Isn't there a saying about that?

  27. Spurning Beer

    It should be noted that this amusing anecdote also slyly implies that the mom is a substance-abusing party slut, and she and the animal-negro did it doggie style. Furthermore, it is the mom who comes off badly in the story. Barack is just a biracial child curious about his origins, and Fido managed to score some white tail at a party.

    That is all lost on the LSM, though.

      1. RavenRant

        No, I appreciate that you got that the primary attack was on Obama's mother. So original. Slut, drunk/druggie, orgy participant, bestiality enthusiast.

        Or, in short, a Dirty Fucking Hippy, Vagina Model.

  28. TheRiverCharley

    No no no. You guys are reading this all wrong! He's calling Obama an unclean infidel dog – which everybody knows, Muslims freak out about.

  29. comrad_darkness

    Yeah, but despite his insinuation that the president's mother would get stoned and sleep with animals at a party and that every one of his friends should laugh at the notion, I'm sure I'd still get a fair hearing in his courtroom, RIGHT??

    1. RavenRant

      Well, as long as you are a wealthy white person with a penis, sure. If you're not… what are you on the loose in the first place!?!

  30. Negropolis

    He's just mad that being from Montana and all, that his daddy was probably a ram. You know, it gets lonely under the Big Sky for the long-suffering Montana wimmenz. And since the official state activity, out there, is drunk driving, it's no surprise that the babies are born with so much hair.

  31. Mahousu

    This is bizarre: checking the comments on the original article, almost nobody is defending the judge. Perhaps only elitists have Internet access in Montana?

    This is the best defense I found: I think it was a dumb thing to do on government time, but I can picture a little child really asking such a question because I remember the Art Linkletter show, " Kids say the darndedest things". That's how I see it.

    In other words, the judge is basically a 5-year-old. Got it.

    1. freakishlywrong

      Similar to Sam Bee's awesome takedown of Grover on TDS the other night. Basically, the country is held hostage by a pledge written by a 7th grader.

    2. Chichikovovich

      Yeah, the judge is a five-year-old who says the president's mother is a drug-addled slut who attends bestiality orgies (based simply on the fact that she married an African) and that having sex with a black man is just one step short of sex with a dog.

      I must have missed that episode of the Linkletter show.

    3. BaldarTFlagass

      I don't know whether Dazed and Confused or Slacker was my favorite Linkletter show.

  32. HarryButtle

    Put aside the actual racism for a second.

    This is Montana's TOP federal judge…and he's not wise enough to NOT send racist emails? He applies this kind of thinking to Montana's most important legal matters? WTF?

    Now, about that racism…FUCK you.

    1. tessiee

      That's the way those people are.
      Any blah person who isn't actually chained up and picking cotton makes all three of their brain cells go rabid, and they absolutely HAVE to, they CANNOT REST, until they say something hateful and racist.

  33. freakishlywrong

    Do these horrible fuckwits evre take in to account that the President is a husband and a father?

    1. comrad_darkness

      More the point he is picking on his dear departed mother. Chicken shit didn't dare pick on someone alive who can come kick his pansy white ass.

    2. RavenRant

      How can a sub-human be a husband or father? Or president?

      Horrible fuckwits are horrible.

    1. coolhandnuke

      "Natural causes."
      I suppose a case of Natural Ice and two boxes of organic wine would qualify.

    2. mrblifil

      "The Los Angeles Coroner's Office confirmed to ABC News Radio that Breitbart died shortly after midnight at UCLA Medical Center."

    3. RavenRant

      If Whitney Houston, Heath Ledger, and Michael Jackson died of natural causes, so did Breitbart,

  34. Dashboard Buddha

    I've met a lot of douchebags over time…may be been one myself from time to time…but that Knox fellah is the doucheieist.

  35. elburritodeluxe

    For Billings Montana not actually shooting someone you disagree with is considered Progressive, if not gay.

  36. outragedcitizen

    If Knox is an example of what the conservatives have then the war between liberals and conservatives is going to be a short one. I have a three year old grandson that could take that fat fuck.

      1. comrad_darkness

        If Limbaugh explodes next week, I may have to go to church for the first time in many decades.

    1. valthemus

      He's faking. He's going to collect all the negative comments from lefty blogs and resurface shouting, "You see what sons o' bitches those mean liberal sons o' bitches are?!?"

    1. Chichikovovich

      Yeah, well, um, … if Obama had just let them go bankrupt and disappear their sales would be up 1000% every month from now until the heat death of the universe.

      Answer that, Obamabot libtard!

  37. Chichikovovich

    As so often, Sir Harry Flashman VC KCB KCIE has found les mots justes : Knox has "the open, simple smile of the truly stupid".

    Now if someone would just give him a very thin mint….

  38. Guppy

    This morning, across the great state of Montana, defense attorneys are filing their motions to overturn, each with a song in their heart and a spring in their step.

    1. tessiee

      "a spring in their step"

      Haw!
      I first quickly read that as, "a spring in their sheep".

  39. Tundra Grifter

    The good judge, in his own defense, said he "just" sent the email to a few old buddies.

    Well, one of those good friends either doesn't like the judge very much, or passed it on and forgot to remove the million email addresses at the top of it.

    Those chain emails can come back to bite ya!

    1. Chichikovovich

      Or, one can only hope, there is at least one person in Montana, with nothing in particular against the judge himself, who would read this email and have the reaction one would expect of any decent human being: "What the fuck is this garbage?"

    2. comrad_darkness

      Must have gone wrong when one of his "old buddies" was out laundering his white sheets and his kid checked his email.

  40. Chichikovovich

    Note also the message His Honor included in his email:

    "Normally I don’t send or forward a lot of these, but even by my standards, it was a bit touching. I want all of my friends to feel what I felt when I read this. Hope it touches your heart like it did mine."

    See? He's got standards. He only sends around the really good stuff. The stuff that speaks deeply and profoundly to him.

  41. randoracer

    So somehow W nominated — and the whole fuckin' U.S. Senate approved — this guy's LIFETIME position on the bench … and there was no vetting that would have revealed his Klan membership? WTF? Meanwhile, B. HUSSEIN NObama can't get even committee hearings for some of his (imminently qualified, non-racist, wise-Latina-type) judicial nominees, just because he's blah? Makes sense to me.

    1. OhNoGuy

      You've got to wonder how many of G.W.'s appointments are just short of being stupid enough to send this kind of email from his/her government computer. I'm guessing a lot. Just one more aspect of G.W.'s revenge.

    1. Tundra Grifter

      EllenStranger:

      When I was in high school I worked in a (well, the) local restaurant in a very small Ohio college town.

      One Saturday during lunch a gentleman in a white suit, goatee, etc., came in with a large party. We asked his wife "Is he Colonel Morton?"

      At the time, Colonel Morton's was a local frozen food brand. Colonel Morton, who may well have been just as real as Betty Crocker (or Marie Callendar, for all I know) was a Kentucky Colonel dressed in a white suit, had a goatee, etc.).

      She said "No, he's Col. Sanders."

      We were very disappointed, as we thought we'd served someone famous.

      1. tessiee

        Quite a few years back, a friend of mine worked in a large hospital. Col. Sanders came in to visit some friend of his that was recovering from surgery.

        I don't know the exact sequence of events, but they wanted to forcibly take him to the mental ward, and he kept saying, "But I REALLY AM Col. Sanders!". Eventually, he produced enough ID that they let him go about his business.

  42. valthemus

    Some people see a black man in the White House the way some people see the queen of England: A figurehead who makes speeches while other people are wielding the actual power. Certain people see Obama as a worthless individual and an illegitimate president simply by virtue of the fact that, to them, black people can't have worth. And they are so absolutely convinced of this fact that, in their arrogance, they think no one of consequence disagrees with them. "So I sent out a racist email… who cares? Surely not anyone I'd think of as important!" When these things happen, the people responsible are often genuinely surprised by some of the people who point fingers at them and shout, "Asshole!"

    That said, take out "Barack" and make it a generic joke about a drunken party mom screwing the night away and it's actually pretty funny.

    1. Jukesgrrl

      Yes, "some people" do exhibit those beliefs and/or behaviors. But not all of those "some people" are Federal judges. This overt display of racism calls into question many of the rulings that have been handed down from his bench. The expense of addressing the appeals that might result is reason alone to unseat him. Take whatever attitude you like about Cebull's racism. But he has violated the ethical standards required in his position.

    2. glamourdammerung

      Some people see a black man in the White House the way some people see the queen of England.

      Some people think Obama is an alien, shape-shifting Lizard Person/Jew that drinks the blood of Christian babies?

      And this is when I realized I read too many conservative internet posts.

  43. glamourdammerung

    I somehow doubt this counts as serving "during good behavior". The removal would be hilarious just to see the Republicans defending this crap as somehow innocent.

  44. tessiee

    You know, thinking about it, I have to say that I really prefer "knock-knock" jokes to "your mother fucked a dog" jokes.

  45. tessiee

    "Barack Obama is black because his white mother was impregnated by a … dog. A black dog, we guess?"

    The implication, and it gives me absolutely no joy whatsoever to understand it, is that a white woman who will have sex with a black man is so lacking in standards that she'll do anything, including have sex with dogs.

  46. tessiee

    When I lived in North Carolina, there was a lot of Bull Durham (the tobacco company, not the movie, although I used to go to the ballpark where the movie was shot) advertising art in antique stores, etc. This is one of the least offensive images, and fits perfectly with your joke:
    http://mainstreet.lib.unc.edu/projects/tobacco_du

  47. nanooknw

    You don't like Obama so you attack his dead mother! That makes sense.
    Attacking those who cannot defend themselves, a republican tradition.

  48. Sheesko

    Isn't it telling that even a judge-type person, theoretically a kollitch graduate an' all, can't come up with any other way to denounce a politician he disapproves of? Why not mention some policies he's initiated that he dislikes, and why? No, see, that would be too hard, because of facts.

  49. rickmaci

    “I didn’t send it as racist, although that’s what it is. I sent it out because it’s anti-Obama.”

    No sir, you sent it as someone who is worthy only of our contempt but not of the position of US Federal District Court Judge.

  50. tessiee

    To "Cebull" is to involuntarily (because you're clueless) reveal that you're a racist piece of shit.
    Noun form: A "Cebull" is the kind of slip that you make because you're a racist piece of shit, and are then surprised (because you're clueless) that it causes an uproar, so you issue a half-assed "apology" that makes things even worse.

  51. rickmaci

    Dying to know who leaked this to the newspaper. My guess is somebody who is not a very big fan of his District KKKourt Judge Grand Wizardliness.

    1. Jukesgrrl

      I know a lot of judges because of my mother's longtime career in the courts. The majority of the ones I know are Luddites who require their secretaries to print hard copies of their E-mails. I suspect the one who leaked is a secretary or someone who saw a hard-copy lying around. And hooray for that person.

  52. barto

    So comforting to know that we have such thoughtful, deep-thinking mental giants applying the law of the land!

  53. Jukesgrrl

    The Billings Gazette's Website has 59 comment on this article. Other than mine, 12 comments criticize Cebull. The others are screeds against President Obama. This is the nicest one:

    "It is really sad. This judge is a fool. He is an idiot to do something like this and leave himself open to all this criticism. Many of us out here in Montana depise [sic], loathe, and detest this Obama creature. But because he is half black has nothing to do with it. He is a monster, but his race is not the problem, no one cares about his race, it is because he is such an arch leftist, such a liar, such a deceiver."

    Common Cause called for Cebull's resignation today. "'If he has any respect for his office and for ideals of equality and human dignity on which our country was founded, Judge Cebull will step down today,' said Bob Edgar, president of the Washington, D.C.-based nonpartisan government watchdog group, in a prepared statement." The organization contacted every representative of Congress drawing attention to this situation.

    Andrea Helling, a spokeswoman for Sen. Jon Tester (D-MT), said, "Jon is concerned by the situation because it calls into question the lack of judgment by a federal judge." It would be up to the Chief of the 9th U.S. Circuit Court of Appeals to instigate a special investigatory committee of judges if Cebull is to be censured or impeached. But first an official complaint has to be lodged with the Chief Judge.

    I encouraged Sen. Tester to initiate the complaint. If anyone would care to join me: http://tester.senate.gov/Contact/

  54. Troglodeity

    Well, I'm sure that the House leadership is already writing up Articles of Impeachment.

  55. aklibtard

    Because it's not inappropriate for any federal judge to be mass forwarding racist emails about a sitting president. No reason for recusal on cases addressing federal laws passed under said president.

  56. OhNoGuy

    The only fair thing to do is break his wrists and chain him to a toilet at the bus station overnight. It's simply a matter of justice. I'm sure all right thinking people will agree.

  57. finallyhappy

    I'm not sure why you are going away- I hope it turns out well. we need to take care of the sane people left in the world- their number seems to be diminishing to me.

  58. FROTHY

    Oh, taking care of business, you know how it goes. There's always something or someone that needs taking care of, and sometimes we just have to step up and do our duty.

    I hug you and hope to return much sooner than expected, thereby annoying the shit out of everyone who acted all sad-and-missy.

Comments are closed.