GRAMPA'S BEEN READING DAVID BROOKS AGAIN  5:18 pm February 29, 2012

Orrin Hatch Calls Obama A Hipster With A Funny Hat And Coffee

by Jim Newell

Orrin Hatch on the Senate floor, you guys: “President Obama has traded in the hard hat and lunch bucket category of the Democratic Party for a hipster fedora and a double skim latte.” Wow, he traded in an entire category of his coalition for a single hat and coffee drink! Is that a “Fair Trade” of the sort that the hipsters love so much? Ha ha ha… eh… kill us now? [Buzzfeed]

 

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{ 138 comments }

edgydrifter February 29, 2012 at 5:20 pm

I was unaware that the UAW had moved into coffee slinging.

DrunkIrishman February 29, 2012 at 5:20 pm

Did he borrow that fedora from Matt Drudge?

Callyson February 29, 2012 at 5:47 pm

No, from James O'Keefe…

MissTaken February 29, 2012 at 5:21 pm

Are you sure Orrin didn't say "pimp hat and some purple drank"?

TanzbodenKoenig February 29, 2012 at 5:37 pm

Sugar, water, purple!

emmelemm February 29, 2012 at 5:47 pm

Oh, snap.

(I wouldn't put it past them.)

Barb February 29, 2012 at 5:21 pm

More like a mulatte.

I_P February 29, 2012 at 5:22 pm

*snort*

Barb February 29, 2012 at 5:24 pm

That was pretty evil of me, eh, I_P?

I_P February 29, 2012 at 5:26 pm

If by "evil" you mean "devilishly good" then I agree.

memzilla February 29, 2012 at 5:26 pm

At least you didn't say blahpuccino.

Biel_ze_Bubba February 29, 2012 at 6:28 pm

Orrin prefers the dope-pio.

edgydrifter February 29, 2012 at 5:21 pm

Hipsters don't wear fedoras, Orrin. Douchebags wear fedoras.

SorosBot February 29, 2012 at 5:30 pm

Now you've got to learn how the Venn diagrams works – while it's true that not all douchebags are hipsters, all hipsters are douchebags. And they were fedoras, along with unkempt facial hair and clashing colors.

SexySmurf February 29, 2012 at 5:34 pm

Douche bags don't wear fedoras; they wear Ed Hardy wool-knit caps 365 days a year.

tessiee February 29, 2012 at 11:13 pm

And that fucking beard/facial hair/whatever it's supposed to be that looks like they drew an outline on their jaw with an eyeliner pencil.

RadioCualquier February 29, 2012 at 5:22 pm

I like my coffee blah.

memzilla February 29, 2012 at 5:23 pm

Doctor! There's all this Santorum coming out of my Hatch!

RadioCualquier February 29, 2012 at 5:28 pm

Put two aspirin between your knees and call me in the morning.

I_P February 29, 2012 at 5:25 pm

Oh Orrin. Don't you have some dead hipsters to posthumously baptize or something?

vodkamuppet February 29, 2012 at 5:56 pm

Dead hipsters, great name for a band (a hipster band)

horsedreamer_1 February 29, 2012 at 10:11 pm

The dude from Women is a Mormon?

veritass February 29, 2012 at 5:25 pm

He's just sayin' the POTUS has got a couple of shirts with a deep V, that's all.

JackDempsey1 February 29, 2012 at 5:26 pm

He should have riffed off the recent musical performance:
"Obama has traded in the hard hat and lunchbucket of the Dem Party for
2 turntables and a microphone."

Chillwillard February 29, 2012 at 5:27 pm

You know a trend is over when Republicans start talking about it. Thank God Hipsterism is dead, though.

Biel_ze_Bubba February 29, 2012 at 6:30 pm

It was doomed the moment it caught on.

GuanoFaucet February 29, 2012 at 5:28 pm

Obama moved the White House to Williamsburg?

Chichikovovich February 29, 2012 at 5:40 pm

The Obamavicher Rebbe

finallyhappy February 29, 2012 at 5:46 pm

I keep telling people that his name is Baruch Hussan(like the groom) Obamavich

tessiee March 1, 2012 at 12:00 am

Brooklyn, or Colonial?

Negropolis March 1, 2012 at 12:36 am

Yeah, but he like totally did it before it was cool to do such a thing. Of course.

anniegetyerfun February 29, 2012 at 5:28 pm

Orrin, please. Everyone knows fedoras are so 2009. Hell, hipsters have long since moved past the conductor hat in my area.

Biel_ze_Bubba February 29, 2012 at 6:47 pm

This may catch on. Or was that last year?

tessiee March 1, 2012 at 12:01 am

So, the trucker caps are done? That's a relief.

CapnFatback February 29, 2012 at 5:28 pm

Meanwhile, the GOP is still appealing strongly to those required by their doctors to wear helmets.

valthemus February 29, 2012 at 5:34 pm

Helmets or tin foil hats?

Loaded_Pants February 29, 2012 at 5:41 pm

They line the helmets with tin foil. Y'know, just in case.

SayItWithWookies February 29, 2012 at 5:28 pm

Hipster fedora? If he means the hat that high school girls wear to Young Life meetings to look worldly, then Utah preserves its reputation as the unhippest state in the Union.

weej_bain February 29, 2012 at 5:28 pm

Orin won't be scorin' with teh double skinny crowd.

Mahousu February 29, 2012 at 5:29 pm

He'd have been more persuasive if he had said "double skim late-y." As it was, he seemed entirely too familiar with the drink.

Lionel[redacted]Esq February 29, 2012 at 5:30 pm

So, by Sen. Hatch's definition, hipness is defined by 1992.

BigDumbRedDog February 29, 2012 at 5:30 pm

Why couldn't they have had hipsters when I was in high school? Instead I just got socially ostracized for listening to weird music and wearing converse instead of k swiss. No fair.

Biff February 29, 2012 at 5:49 pm

I had my last fedora in 1962. Thank dog for President Kennedy eschewing the wearing of hats. As for shoes, the best I could get was Keds. Usually it was whatever store brand they sold at either White Front or W.T. Grant's.

Dudleydidwrong February 29, 2012 at 5:30 pm

"I saw the best minds of my generation destroyed by madness, starving hysterical naked, dragging themselves through the negro streets at dawn looking for an angry fix, angelheaded hipsters burning for the ancient heavenly connection to the starry dynamo in the machinery of night…"

Orrin, Orrin, for crissakes, you know what happens when you drink one Coor's Light. Now put that damn thing down before you start trying to quote more poetry. Mormons don't quote stupid-ass poetry, you know that!

2161911 February 29, 2012 at 5:31 pm

Those crazy darkies…

DerrickWildcat February 29, 2012 at 5:31 pm

This is pure haberdashery I say.

Negropolis March 1, 2012 at 12:38 am

Utter poppycockery, indeed, good sir.

DarwinianDemon February 29, 2012 at 5:31 pm

Republicans traded the pinstripes of the titans of industry for the comforting straps of straight jackets and tricorner hats of the tea party.

yrbmegr February 29, 2012 at 5:32 pm

Can you be in the Senate and be incomprehensible?

Geminisunmars February 29, 2012 at 5:41 pm

Happens all da time.

Callyson February 29, 2012 at 5:49 pm

I think it's a requirement, at least to get the GOP nomination.

Wilcoxyz February 29, 2012 at 6:03 pm

Dan Quayle?

tessiee February 29, 2012 at 11:15 pm

"Can you"? I thought it was mandatory.

Negropolis March 1, 2012 at 12:46 am

An allowance? It's damn-near a requirement.

FraAnima February 29, 2012 at 5:33 pm

Well, Romney should be able to capitalize on Brock's failings. Soon, all hard hats and lunch buckets will be flocking to teh GOP tent.

RadioCualquier February 29, 2012 at 5:33 pm

From the same guy who said the rich have suffered enough in this country.
What. An. Asshat.

Spurning Beer February 29, 2012 at 5:35 pm

And the Republicans seem to have traded the pinstripes and tassel loafers crowd for the wifebeaters and work boots crowd.

tessiee February 29, 2012 at 11:21 pm

Don't worry, the workboots crowd may be useful worker ants/cannon fodder, but the Rs haven't forgotten that pinstripers are their real masters, nor will they, ever.

widestanceromance February 29, 2012 at 5:36 pm

He's just jealous because normal people can drink coffee.

fuflans February 29, 2012 at 5:36 pm

i have never seen barry in a hat.

i would like to see barry in a hat.

Geminisunmars February 29, 2012 at 5:44 pm

I would like to have barry in for a chat.

And Michelle too, at that.

sezme February 29, 2012 at 5:45 pm
Trinket February 29, 2012 at 11:09 pm

Oh, sister. Do a Google image search for "young obama cigarette" and prepare yourself.

tessiee February 29, 2012 at 11:18 pm

SQUEEEE!!!

Trinket February 29, 2012 at 11:27 pm

Yes, that's pretty much been my reaction, too. :)

tessiee February 29, 2012 at 11:17 pm

Would you like to see Barry in a hat?
Do you think that he is one cool cat?
Would you like to see him in socks?
Do you think he is a fox?
Would you like Michelle to join the fun?
Would that be a good day, before it is done?

orygoon February 29, 2012 at 5:36 pm

Orrin has a jonesin' case of coffee envy. Yum, yum, it's DELICIOUS, Orrin!

ifthethunderdontgetya February 29, 2012 at 5:36 pm

Jumpin' Jesus on a Pogo Stick!

These were "prepared remarks"????

Can't this guy be fired from the Senate for being a giant dork? We can call it the "Lieberman Clause."
~

SexySmurf February 29, 2012 at 5:37 pm

Instead of singing Al Green, Obama is going to start singing Arcade Fire or some shitty band no one has ever heard of. Ironically, of course.

fuflans February 29, 2012 at 5:42 pm

i think it was the decemberists that got the wingtards panties in wad.

but of course, that was 2008. they may have moved on.

imissopus February 29, 2012 at 10:01 pm

Bon Iver. Oh God help us all if he tries an a capella rendition of "Beth/Rest," amirite?

horsedreamer_1 February 29, 2012 at 10:13 pm

Obama's 2011 best album is Kaputt, actually.

starfanglednut February 29, 2012 at 5:38 pm

“President Obama has traded in the hard hat and lunch bucket category of the Democratic Party for a hipster fedora and a double skim latte.”

And he's all hopped up on goofballs too!

valthemus February 29, 2012 at 5:39 pm

*Now* the Republicans have gone and alienated the Fedora Hat Coalition AND the Lovers of Lattes! These people just don't want anyone voting for them, do they?

Numbat_Dundee February 29, 2012 at 5:40 pm

Interesting idea this, to define political positions by a combination of headgear and beverage. I'm a Viking helmet and peppermint tea man myself – used to be a sombero and absinthe when I was younger, but I've mellowed.

SayItWithWookies February 29, 2012 at 5:48 pm

I'm a minimalist — bedhead and black coffee.

Geminisunmars February 29, 2012 at 6:01 pm

I'm going with a cheap plastic rain cap, and 5-hour energy drink.

Spurning Beer February 29, 2012 at 6:36 pm

Fez and Sierra Mist here.

102415 February 29, 2012 at 9:59 pm

Lilly Daché and gin.

imissopus February 29, 2012 at 10:05 pm

Steelers ball cap and pint of a dark, local microbrew.

tessiee February 29, 2012 at 11:25 pm

What's the point of being cool if you can't wear a sombrero?
http://vi.sualize.us/view/ff227b917cf8c0a87f06411

Negropolis March 1, 2012 at 12:57 am

My face is far too narrow and long for a hat. I've always been jealous of people that can pull hats off. Any hats, really.

Mumbletypeg March 1, 2012 at 9:41 am

a.) Share with us the hat you *would* wear if you could. None of us can tell the difference if we haven't actually seen your face! (on here)
b.) I actually share w/ you my envy of others who pull off the headgear so much more effectively. However, now I've noticed your avatar has changed again. It is similar to trying on different hats, no?
c.) Beverage?

weej_bain February 29, 2012 at 5:41 pm

Unfortunately this reminds me I have to go to Salt Lake the end of next week to chill with bunch of hipsters engineers. Maybe I should swing by Orin's office and see if he want's to join us for a few Polygamy Porters. Obvs, with the PP why would you stop with just one.

sezme February 29, 2012 at 5:43 pm

Orrin has traded in the "fiscally responsible" category of the Republican Party for a belt with an onion in it.

40 or 50 % McShineys February 29, 2012 at 8:08 pm

We had to say dickety because the Orrin had stolen our word for lunchbuckets.

102415 February 29, 2012 at 10:03 pm

It's still considered very attractive by many stylish elders.

MissTaken February 29, 2012 at 5:43 pm

He's trading his MG for a white Chrysler LeBaron

yyyaz February 29, 2012 at 5:55 pm

That's a tremendous leap for a Horrin Atch: from 1948 all the way to 1992 in one swell foop.

fuflans February 29, 2012 at 5:44 pm

and by the way, the fuck was this about?

bamz moving laterally within the democratic party base is something of concern to orrin hatch because why?

SexySmurf February 29, 2012 at 5:46 pm

President Obama has traded in the hard hat and lunch bucket category of the Democratic Party for a hipster fedora

In Obama's defense, 1950s hard-boiled detectives are an all important swing demographic.

102415 February 29, 2012 at 10:09 pm

Yeah, Mickey Spillane and Walter Winchell wore fedoras the hat Hatch is pretending to care about is actually called a trilby. That's what he gets for having an envious loser 27 year old write for him.

tessiee February 29, 2012 at 11:26 pm

"1950s hard-boiled detectives are an all important swing demographic."

And what about us dames?

Callyson February 29, 2012 at 5:47 pm

a hipster fedora and a double skim latte.
Orrin, Orrin, you Jurassic geezer…fedoras are so 2009, and even McDonald's serves lattes these days.
And the Reeps really don't get how out of touch they are…

finallyhappy February 29, 2012 at 5:47 pm

Pretty sure, it was a redeye,blah

sezme February 29, 2012 at 5:48 pm

Breaking news: President Obama spotted ironically wearing a hard hat, carrying a lunch bucket.

tessiee March 1, 2012 at 12:04 am

Did said lunch bucket contain an ironic can of PBR?

justkillmenow February 29, 2012 at 5:48 pm

Hatch is still alive?

yyyaz February 29, 2012 at 5:57 pm

No. It's just that Dick Cheney hasn't had the heart to tell him.

bagofmice February 29, 2012 at 6:30 pm

Hey-ooo!

weej_bain February 29, 2012 at 5:59 pm

To quote Dorothy Parker, well maybe not since the "still" would indicate previous animation, and with Hatch that is debatable. .

Negropolis March 1, 2012 at 12:59 am

Essentially.

Blueb4sunrise February 29, 2012 at 5:53 pm

Tell us about your underwear, Orrin.
No, I take that back.

DerrickWildcat February 29, 2012 at 5:56 pm

You see, a brother wears a fedora like this….but White folks…they wear a Seed Corn hat like this.
It's like some kind of crazy reverse Apollo Theater Stand-up comedy act.

meatlofer February 29, 2012 at 5:56 pm

If your first name starts with an O,…………………….you might be a redneck.

tessiee February 29, 2012 at 11:27 pm

Or blah.

sharethegrief February 29, 2012 at 5:58 pm

He really wants to see Barry trade in the fedora for a white jacket, serving food at the country club.

arihaya February 29, 2012 at 6:04 pm

today we are all Hipsters with a Funny Hat and Coffee

vodkamuppet February 29, 2012 at 6:07 pm

This is the trailer park version of "food stamp president". Fedoras! Elitism. I bought a fedora once and I looked like an idiot wearing it. If you're going to rip liberal elitism, get it right. I obsess over whether the knot on my tie has the proper 'pop' to it. Double windsors are good but they need to be loose.

Gunner Asch February 29, 2012 at 10:20 pm

In my last days in Corporate America the office dapper dresser appraised me with arched eyebrows and said "You wear the kind of ties that someone would wear only because he has to wear a tie." I dunno what he found to complain about in my Disney Collection. Daffy Duck was a classic.

vodkamuppet March 1, 2012 at 2:09 am

The trick is if you make the knot pop enough you won't have to tie it around your neck so tight. I go with silver ties, they go with everything.

nobodyssweetheart February 29, 2012 at 6:07 pm

At least he didn't call Barry a blipster.

horsedreamer_1 February 29, 2012 at 10:14 pm

COOKIE MOUNTAIN LIBEL!!!!

SenileAgitation February 29, 2012 at 6:09 pm

Has all the earmarks of a Frank Luntz talking point: catchy, easy to remember and repeat endlessly, and patently false.

Generation[redacted] February 29, 2012 at 6:21 pm

Fedora? Everybody knows a real hipster wears a pork pie hat!

orygoon February 29, 2012 at 6:53 pm

TRILBY LIBEL!

102415 February 29, 2012 at 10:13 pm

Yay!!!!! Finally, the corner of Wonkettia where we can talk style.Trilby, thank you.

Toomush_Infer February 29, 2012 at 6:36 pm

“President Obama has traded in the hard hat and lunch bucket category of the Democratic Party for a hipster fedora and a double skim latte.” ….The delivery here is crucial…or crucified….Ba da Bing, ba da blat…..Hatch's sotto voce has dovolved into pseudo vocca….

Loaded_Pants February 29, 2012 at 6:38 pm

Orrin Hatch has an oral hatch.

Deportably_Jose February 29, 2012 at 6:53 pm

Honestly, the thing that amazes me the most is that Orrin Hatch seems to almost -but not quite- know what a hipster is.

I mean, who drinks lattes any more? That's so 1990's. It's all about the fair trade organic loose tea, or else bourbon. Or both at the same time, yum.

Also too, while ironic hard hats are rare, they do exist, at least in Williamsburg. Ironic lunch boxes are much more common.

Biff February 29, 2012 at 6:58 pm

That reminds me, where did I put my tricorn fedora with the teabags stapled on the brim?

Lucidamente1 February 29, 2012 at 7:07 pm

"Hipster fedora and a double skim latte": is that code for "fried chicken and watermelon" or "malt liquor and menthol cigarettes?"

Gunner Asch February 29, 2012 at 10:24 pm

I loved how they went with the meme on The Wire and made super-badass Omar a fan of KFC and Mountain Dew. And Honey Nut Cheerios.
(BTW, why do I remember stuff like this and can't remember what I was going to buy once I get to the grocery store?)

obfuscator2 February 29, 2012 at 7:15 pm

pleeeease regale us with your extensive knowledge of hipster culture, white male republican mormon senator from utah.

JustPixelz February 29, 2012 at 7:50 pm

President Obama has traded in the hard hat and lunch bucket category of the Democratic Party for a hipster fedora and a double skim latte.

Meanwhile, the Repubicans have traded in women, Latinos, union members, seniors and students for a fat-ass in KKK robes riding a Rascal.

owhatever February 29, 2012 at 7:51 pm

And in November, President Obama will be wearing that hipster fedora and knocking back the double skim latte as he cruises into the White House for four more years, over the corrupt, stinking bodies of Republicans.

Come here a minute February 29, 2012 at 8:57 pm

Man, he only named one of the well-known characteristics of the tax-hiking, government-expanding, latte-drinking, sushi-eating, Volvo-driving, New York Times-reading, body-piercing, Hollywood-loving, left-wing freak show.

102415 February 29, 2012 at 10:18 pm

That looks good. I'll have the sushi, thanks. Can I have a single malt scotch with that?

buffalogal February 29, 2012 at 9:59 pm

WTF does that even mean … if anything. What a hipster doofus.

horsedreamer_1 February 29, 2012 at 10:15 pm

Utah, site of Sundance Film Festival, is devoid of hipsters.

[wanking motion]

ttommyunger February 29, 2012 at 10:26 pm

Yeah, I caught this dried-up foreskin on the teevee machine today. He also bloviated at length about how our corporations can't make enough moneez under Obamer with all his regulations, and such and so forth, and all…….

vodkamuppet February 29, 2012 at 10:39 pm

We should wash that guys car with rocks.

Trinket February 29, 2012 at 11:03 pm

First of all, Orrin, it's "double skinny latte". Second, I know plenty of blue collar workers who drink them. Yes. Obama and his party have abandoned the poor working stiff. As opposed to your party, which so exalts and protects labor. Fuck you.

Negropolis March 1, 2012 at 12:21 am

I see Senator Hatch is a member of the "You-Damned-Kids-Get-Off-My-Lawn!" caucus of the United States Senate.

Yes, these kids, today, and their enema man, and snoopy-poopy-poop dog, and too-big-pants and whatever else the very, very urban youths are into, these days.

Negropolis March 1, 2012 at 12:23 am

What a snob, amirite?

DahBoner March 1, 2012 at 9:32 am

double skim latte

But Uncle Orrin, all the cool Mormon kids are ridin' these over at Snowbird…

intdebdc March 1, 2012 at 11:58 pm

and Hatch is an old queen who wears funny underwear with an-al bum cover.

102415 February 29, 2012 at 9:53 pm

I agree.

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