500 EMMYS  4:38 pm February 29, 2012

Bristol Palin Has Some Other New TV Show About Stuff

by Jim Newell

A hot new reality show “chronicling Bristol Palin’s life as a young, single mother living in the spotlight of being Sarah Palin’s daughter” has been picked up on the vagina network, Lifetime! It will be called Bristol Palin: Life’s A Tripp, and the young mother and son will run around the forest dropping acid with John McCain.

 
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{ 119 comments }

Barb February 29, 2012 at 4:41 pm

I can't wait to find out what channel and what time so that I can go watch paint dry instead of this crap.

actor212 February 29, 2012 at 4:53 pm

Oh? Is it bicycle racing season already?

GOPCrusher February 29, 2012 at 5:34 pm

I got a message on my Dish Network receiver informing me that The Undefeated is going to be shown on the Reelz Channel during the month of March. Thank God for college basketball.

MissTaken February 29, 2012 at 5:38 pm

I think that Undefeated is the Oscar winning documentary about a football team. Not the Undefeated infomercial made in someone's garage about a woman and her pursuit of getting gangbanged by a football team.

veritass February 29, 2012 at 4:43 pm

Boring. How much longer until she does porn? My, uh, friend wants to know.

Barb February 29, 2012 at 4:43 pm

Seven years ago.

Mahousu February 29, 2012 at 5:25 pm

She doesn't do porn. She is porn.

Of course, like most porn, she's crappy.

horsedreamer_1 March 1, 2012 at 1:07 am

She's prolly already been in the cheap & reader submitted Naughty Neighbors.

BaldarTFlagass February 29, 2012 at 4:43 pm

"Life's a Tripp, And By The Way, I Gave You the Drip."

BaldarTFlagass February 29, 2012 at 4:44 pm

I wonder if it will chronicle her blowing Manuel in the men's room at the Wasilla Denny's for a gram of crank.

MissTaken February 29, 2012 at 4:45 pm

That's what they mean by "living in the spotlight of being Sarah Palin’s daughter"

actor212 February 29, 2012 at 4:54 pm

She's always gotta do Sarah one better. For example, Sarah only had to give hand jobs for crank.

horsedreamer_1 March 1, 2012 at 1:08 am

JASON STATHAM LIBEL!!!!

Barb February 29, 2012 at 4:45 pm

How long before they make a documentary about Willow's pregnancies that were swept under the rug, The Undefetus.

justkillmenow February 29, 2012 at 5:44 pm

ohfuck. That is priceless.

finallyhappy February 29, 2012 at 5:48 pm

This deserves my 1000 thumbs up of the day- but the damn system will not let me

Barb February 29, 2012 at 6:06 pm

Thank you!

Chillwillard February 29, 2012 at 5:56 pm

I hate you (in a good way, of course).

Barb February 29, 2012 at 4:47 pm

Will it be showing on The Animal Planet?

actor212 February 29, 2012 at 4:48 pm

I figured it would be "Bad Girls: Wasilla" and on Oxygen

GOPCrusher February 29, 2012 at 5:35 pm

The Unwed Housewives Of Wasilla.

Maman February 29, 2012 at 4:49 pm

I give up. we are doomed as a society

V572 Flambé February 29, 2012 at 4:52 pm

Only if we watch this. Be strong.

Rosie_Scenario February 29, 2012 at 4:49 pm

"With special guest appearance by Shailey Tripp!"

MissTaken February 29, 2012 at 4:51 pm

That was very sweet of Bristol to name her son after her father's mistress/prostitute.

actor212 February 29, 2012 at 4:52 pm

You assume it's hers to begin with

JustPixelz February 29, 2012 at 4:54 pm

"… her father's favorite mistress/prostitute."

-fixed

Neoyorquino February 29, 2012 at 5:10 pm

"… her father's favorite mistress/prostitute . . . so far."

-fixed

actor212 February 29, 2012 at 5:15 pm

"… her father's favorite female mistress/prostitute . . . so far."

Fixed yer fixed fixed fer ya

Gratuitous World February 29, 2012 at 4:50 pm

They already air Big Bang Theory

vodkamuppet February 29, 2012 at 5:17 pm

Thank you for pointing that out. I thought I was the only one.

SexySmurf February 29, 2012 at 4:50 pm

Since it's on Lifetime, I'm assuming Bristol is going to marry Meredith Baxter then slap her around for the next two hours.

ChernobylSoup February 29, 2012 at 4:58 pm

Excellent.

Deportably_Jose February 29, 2012 at 4:51 pm

Remember, everyone who's wealthy totally earned it, with their merits.

actor212 February 29, 2012 at 4:52 pm

In fairness to Bristol, she has a nice set of assets

BarackMyWorld February 29, 2012 at 6:14 pm

Is that what we're calling Sarah now?

Deportably_Jose February 29, 2012 at 6:27 pm

BOOB LIBEL!

trampndirtdown March 1, 2012 at 12:57 am

Huge tracts of land?

horsedreamer_1 March 1, 2012 at 1:09 am

The Denali of Tits.

littlebigdaddy February 29, 2012 at 4:51 pm

Is the theme song Fat Bottomed Girls?

pinkocommi February 29, 2012 at 4:53 pm

I guess the names "16 and Pregnant" and "Jackass" already were taken?

FlownOver February 29, 2012 at 6:37 pm

As was "World's Dumbest Criminals."

Mumbletypeg February 29, 2012 at 4:53 pm

living in the spotlight

"Ladiiiiiiiies and…. gnats!"..

Gratuitous World February 29, 2012 at 4:53 pm

or we can just wait 16 years and watch Tripp on "Cops."

vodkamuppet February 29, 2012 at 5:18 pm

You're on a roll today! Heyooo!

Loaded_Pants February 29, 2012 at 5:54 pm

Shirtless, soiled bandana tied around his head, and running from the cops through a trailer park.

paulabflat March 2, 2012 at 3:53 pm

"why'd you run man? if you ain't done nothin??

Sharkey February 29, 2012 at 10:37 pm

Cops tripping, on TV. I would watch that.

SayItWithWookies February 29, 2012 at 4:53 pm

Well Bristol said she was through with Hollywood almost two whole months ago — so my question is, is she un-quitting, or is she quitting the quitting? Or did she just see something shiny and forget?

actor212 February 29, 2012 at 4:55 pm

All of them, Katie

Gratuitous World February 29, 2012 at 4:55 pm

great question – when she quits this midway through season 1 the universe will implode on itself. thankfully.

starfanglednut February 29, 2012 at 6:00 pm

She got halfway through the quitting, and quit.

Terry March 5, 2012 at 8:51 am

She held to her vow of being through with Hollywood until it occurred to her that she might actually have to work for money.

elviouslyqueer February 29, 2012 at 4:54 pm

I swear, this bitch is like a floatie that just won't flush.

MissTaken February 29, 2012 at 4:56 pm

I'm sure Levi totally agrees with your Unflushable assessment.

GOPCrusher February 29, 2012 at 5:37 pm

The Unflushable.

actor212 February 29, 2012 at 4:56 pm

I wanna dress this comment in heels and a garter belt and have sex with it.

RadioCualquier February 29, 2012 at 5:35 pm

Lipstick on a floatie.

Rotundo_ February 29, 2012 at 5:16 pm

The whole family is: They just cannot, by genetic makeup shut the fuck up and live like real people do. This is what happens when you mix a local television personality, politics and meth. And the profoundly stupid in the good ol' US of A just can't get enough of it.

prommie February 29, 2012 at 4:55 pm

Hmm, end it all, or just get fucking drunk? Ahh, fuck, death is way too final, you never know, the entire history of my life may suddenly reverse itself tomorrow, and I wouldn'tnt to miss that, so it looks like its Martini Time!

paulabflat March 2, 2012 at 3:54 pm

i like the way you think. it's best to be cautious.

SenileAgitation February 29, 2012 at 4:56 pm

A TV show about some no talent unwed mother sitting around in a track suit eating Oreos and complaining while getting paid for it? Shit yeaZh I'll watch! For the cosmetology.

Loaded_Pants February 29, 2012 at 5:57 pm

Think of the makeovers!

2161911 February 29, 2012 at 5:00 pm

Whatever happened to the pilot "Clubbing the Halibut", which was supposed to run on the Women's Entertainment channel right after "Melissa and Joan Rivers Knows Best"?

actor212 February 29, 2012 at 5:07 pm

The halibut program drew jeers from PeTA.

They've been strangely silent on Bristol's show, however.

Rotundo_ February 29, 2012 at 5:19 pm

Clubbing the Halibut would be infinitely more watchable than anything Missy and the hag would do for an hour. Turkey slaughter, grease trap cleaning, mucking out stables would be Emmy material next to the Rivers shit. Eeeeewwwww!

vodkamuppet February 29, 2012 at 5:23 pm

Thank god Levi didn't club the halibut that night. We would've been robbed of some really great comedy if he had.

GOPCrusher February 29, 2012 at 5:39 pm

I call it Clubbing The Halibut, but I don't think it's legal to show it on Women's Entertainment Channel.

JustPixelz February 29, 2012 at 5:01 pm

Rejected titles include:

Bristol Palin: Contraception is for Losers

Bristol Palin: LIfe's a Bitch Just Like My Mom

Bristol Palin: Whoarders Gone Wild.

actor212 February 29, 2012 at 5:11 pm

Bristol Palin: Waseline'd In Wasilla

Loaded_Pants February 29, 2012 at 6:08 pm

Bristol Palin: When the Stick Turns Blue.

SorosBot February 29, 2012 at 5:02 pm

Will she get drunk on wine coolers and get impregnated again on camera for us?

MissTaken February 29, 2012 at 5:04 pm

Only if the producers supply the camping tent.

SorosBot February 29, 2012 at 5:20 pm

I thought they didn't use a tent, that's why babby was made.

Barb February 29, 2012 at 5:05 pm

They didn't videotape the birth of Tripp because they didn't want to tape over the footage of the conception.

Rotundo_ February 29, 2012 at 5:24 pm

Yes, and like the last time, all you'll see is Brisdull's head popping out of the tent flap rythmically with each thrust. All of the dialogue will of course be bleeped for broadcast so it should be somewhat strange, sort of like a jack in the box popping in and out with really shitty music keeping time.

KarenJ503 February 29, 2012 at 10:24 pm

With Boyfriend #1, Dylan, 2007?
Boyfriend #2, Levi 2008?
Boyfriend #3, Ben 2009?
Boyfriend #4, Gino, 2010-2011?
Boyfriend #5, guy who recently went to the gunshop with her to buy a gun, 2012?

Dashboard Buddha February 29, 2012 at 10:50 pm

That might just be the most effective form of birth control EVER!

MissTaken February 29, 2012 at 5:04 pm

What a second! Doesn't Bristol already have a show called "The Tonight Show with Jay Leno"?

SorosBot February 29, 2012 at 5:22 pm

I've said it before and I'll say it again: I don't understand what drives some people to get plastic surgery that makes them objectively less attractive.

poorgradstudent February 29, 2012 at 5:05 pm

To be fair, I like to look at it as more fodder for the inevitable "Mommy Dearest"-esque memoir Tripp will write at the behest of his friends and fellow support group attendees, Brittney Spears' kids and Snookie's progeny.

Gratuitous World February 29, 2012 at 5:07 pm

There will be a pop culture-changing episode called "The Contest" where Willow and Bristol bet on who can hold out the longest with a transvaginal ultrasound inside of them.

Barb February 29, 2012 at 5:11 pm

The whole machine or just the wand?

Gratuitous World February 29, 2012 at 5:12 pm

all of them, barb

MissTaken February 29, 2012 at 5:12 pm

It can be called "The Amazing Rape"

tcaalaw March 2, 2012 at 8:54 am

Am I going to hell for laughing at that one?

paulabflat March 2, 2012 at 3:56 pm

if you do, remember that all newbies meet each tuesday, 10 am-ish, outside the judy garland memorial restroom. wear comfortable clothes and shoes you don't care about.

see you there?

Rotundo_ February 29, 2012 at 5:28 pm

While standing, Willow will own this one. In repose, or standing on their heads it's more a toss up.

GOPCrusher February 29, 2012 at 5:41 pm

Hope they are doing their kegels, otherwise it will just keep falling out.

CapnFatback February 29, 2012 at 5:13 pm

Yeah, fuck this.

vodkamuppet February 29, 2012 at 5:13 pm

My first reaction to this was "Tripp? What does Linda Tripp have to do with anything?" Then I remembered Tripp is an acceptable first name in the Palin clan. I still don't feel stupid for my first reaction.

Callyson February 29, 2012 at 5:18 pm

the vagina network, Lifetime
Can't someone come up with a vagina network for those of us who use (or aspire to use) said vaginas? Bravo has its moments but the Millionaire Assholes Matchmaker/Real Housewives of Who Cares shows are tiresome, and the Style Network is too brainless for words. Oprah's is dull (heresy! but true) and The Learning Channel has become the pedophiles' network.
Seriously, we women need a *hip* network…
…or, WTH, why restrict it to females? We Wonketteers want a hip network, stat…

HistoriCat March 1, 2012 at 10:27 am

I would watch the shit out of the Wonkette channel.

widestanceromance February 29, 2012 at 5:19 pm

[staring at sky]

Whenever I have thoughts about going back to TV, a miracle happens. I feel close to God in a non-NIN way for a change.

Spurning Beer February 29, 2012 at 5:19 pm

"Two and a Half Episodes"

CapnFatback February 29, 2012 at 5:25 pm

This time, I hope she'll get voted off the show the first week.

RadioCualquier February 29, 2012 at 5:39 pm

Two Family Guy references in one day, but they both are appropriate.

iburl February 29, 2012 at 6:12 pm

I think it's weird to name your kid after Linda Tripp

KarenJ503 February 29, 2012 at 10:31 pm

Shailey Tripp quoted Sarah Palin herself (when Palin defended Herman Cain's sexist misogyny) by titling her book "Boys Will Be Boys" https://www.createspace.com/3800543

BarackMyWorld February 29, 2012 at 6:19 pm

This is going to be another funny story to tell people about the future if I ever get sucked back in time 20 years.

fuflans February 29, 2012 at 6:28 pm

this is good news for the kardashians.

chascates February 29, 2012 at 8:35 pm

No kidding! They look like the British royal family in comparison.

Ken Cuccinelli February 29, 2012 at 6:30 pm

Oh my god that title isn't a joke.

SolitaireRose February 29, 2012 at 6:34 pm

So, another reality show for her to quit before it's done filming? What happened to her new version of "The Odd Couple"?

not that Dewey February 29, 2012 at 7:33 pm

Northern Exposure Libel!

MinAgain February 29, 2012 at 7:43 pm

Is it too much to hope that the Cry and Die Channel lives up to its name?

ProChoiceGramma February 29, 2012 at 7:56 pm

Will Tripp's namesake, Shailey Tripp, be a guest on the show?

paulabflat March 2, 2012 at 3:59 pm

well, technically, tripp is shailey's namesake, but even i would pay to watch that one.

johnnyzhivago February 29, 2012 at 8:20 pm

I'd rather be fastened in a straightjacket with my eyelids forced open while being continuously waterboarded in front of a giant screen television playing back to back episodes of Hillbilly Handfishing than watch this trollop and her fame whore mother snorting through their blowholes on some stupid reality show.

ElPinche February 29, 2012 at 9:32 pm

Tripps up, Ho's Down: Swaggin in Wasilla

ttommyunger February 29, 2012 at 10:30 pm

Not gonna watch it, not gonna do it, wouldn't be prudent at this juncture, nope…..thousand points of light……

Sharkey February 29, 2012 at 10:32 pm

Bristol Palin: I Am the "Who Cares Girl"

mavenmaven February 29, 2012 at 11:22 pm

How soon before her Playboy shoot?

Manhattan123 March 1, 2012 at 12:54 am

Is Bristol the fat, waste-of-space daughter who was on that dancing show, or is she the the fat, waste-of-space daughter who wasn't on that dancing show?

smokefilledroommate March 1, 2012 at 2:43 am

Hanna-Barbera's Wasilla Gorilla now on Lifetime!

FannyBurney March 1, 2012 at 5:05 am

This news explains Bristol's staged book signing in Dupont Circle last month while Mama G. was holding her screech fest at CPAC.

DahBoner March 1, 2012 at 11:01 am

The Cartoon Network's version of Winters Bone without the witty dialog…

DocChaos March 3, 2012 at 12:25 pm

Given what's popular on reality television, I wonder if Bristol's life is tawdry and pathetic enough for the show to to succeed. She may have to pop out another half dozen kids or at least marry a basketball player or aging rapper. What's Dennis Rodman doing these days?

FlownOver February 29, 2012 at 6:32 pm

"…her father's favorite adult female mistress/prostitute…so far."

The fix is in.

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