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Bristol Palin Has Some Other New TV Show About Stuff

A hot new reality show “chronicling Bristol Palin’s life as a young, single mother living in the spotlight of being Sarah Palin’s daughter” has been picked up on the vagina network, Lifetime! It will be called Bristol Palin: Life’s A Tripp, and the young mother and son will run around the forest dropping acid with John McCain.

About the author

Jim Newell is Wonkette's beloved Capitol Hill Typing Demon. He joined Wonkette.com in 2007, left for some other dumb job in 2010, and proudly returned in 2012 as our "Senior Editor at Large." He lives in Washington and also writes for things such as The Guardian, the Manchester paper of liberals.

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  1. Barb

    I can't wait to find out what channel and what time so that I can go watch paint dry instead of this crap.

    1. GOPCrusher

      I got a message on my Dish Network receiver informing me that The Undefeated is going to be shown on the Reelz Channel during the month of March. Thank God for college basketball.

      1. MissTaken

        I think that Undefeated is the Oscar winning documentary about a football team. Not the Undefeated infomercial made in someone's garage about a woman and her pursuit of getting gangbanged by a football team.

  2. BaldarTFlagass

    I wonder if it will chronicle her blowing Manuel in the men's room at the Wasilla Denny's for a gram of crank.

  3. Barb

    How long before they make a documentary about Willow's pregnancies that were swept under the rug, The Undefetus.

  4. SexySmurf

    Since it's on Lifetime, I'm assuming Bristol is going to marry Meredith Baxter then slap her around for the next two hours.

    1. Loaded_Pants

      Shirtless, soiled bandana tied around his head, and running from the cops through a trailer park.

    1. Terry

      She held to her vow of being through with Hollywood until it occurred to her that she might actually have to work for money.

    1. Rotundo_

      The whole family is: They just cannot, by genetic makeup shut the fuck up and live like real people do. This is what happens when you mix a local television personality, politics and meth. And the profoundly stupid in the good ol' US of A just can't get enough of it.

  5. prommie

    Hmm, end it all, or just get fucking drunk? Ahh, fuck, death is way too final, you never know, the entire history of my life may suddenly reverse itself tomorrow, and I wouldn'tnt to miss that, so it looks like its Martini Time!

  6. SenileAgitation

    A TV show about some no talent unwed mother sitting around in a track suit eating Oreos and complaining while getting paid for it? Shit yeaZh I'll watch! For the cosmetology.

  7. 2161911

    Whatever happened to the pilot "Clubbing the Halibut", which was supposed to run on the Women's Entertainment channel right after "Melissa and Joan Rivers Knows Best"?

    1. Rotundo_

      Clubbing the Halibut would be infinitely more watchable than anything Missy and the hag would do for an hour. Turkey slaughter, grease trap cleaning, mucking out stables would be Emmy material next to the Rivers shit. Eeeeewwwww!

    2. vodkamuppet

      Thank god Levi didn't club the halibut that night. We would've been robbed of some really great comedy if he had.

    3. GOPCrusher

      I call it Clubbing The Halibut, but I don't think it's legal to show it on Women's Entertainment Channel.

  8. JustPixelz

    Rejected titles include:

    Bristol Palin: Contraception is for Losers

    Bristol Palin: LIfe's a Bitch Just Like My Mom

    Bristol Palin: Whoarders Gone Wild.

    1. Barb

      They didn't videotape the birth of Tripp because they didn't want to tape over the footage of the conception.

    2. Rotundo_

      Yes, and like the last time, all you'll see is Brisdull's head popping out of the tent flap rythmically with each thrust. All of the dialogue will of course be bleeped for broadcast so it should be somewhat strange, sort of like a jack in the box popping in and out with really shitty music keeping time.

    3. KarenJ503

      With Boyfriend #1, Dylan, 2007?
      Boyfriend #2, Levi 2008?
      Boyfriend #3, Ben 2009?
      Boyfriend #4, Gino, 2010-2011?
      Boyfriend #5, guy who recently went to the gunshop with her to buy a gun, 2012?

    1. SorosBot

      I've said it before and I'll say it again: I don't understand what drives some people to get plastic surgery that makes them objectively less attractive.

  9. poorgradstudent

    To be fair, I like to look at it as more fodder for the inevitable "Mommy Dearest"-esque memoir Tripp will write at the behest of his friends and fellow support group attendees, Brittney Spears' kids and Snookie's progeny.

  10. Gratuitous World

    There will be a pop culture-changing episode called "The Contest" where Willow and Bristol bet on who can hold out the longest with a transvaginal ultrasound inside of them.

        1. paulabflat

          if you do, remember that all newbies meet each tuesday, 10 am-ish, outside the judy garland memorial restroom. wear comfortable clothes and shoes you don't care about.

          see you there?

  11. vodkamuppet

    My first reaction to this was "Tripp? What does Linda Tripp have to do with anything?" Then I remembered Tripp is an acceptable first name in the Palin clan. I still don't feel stupid for my first reaction.

  12. Callyson

    the vagina network, Lifetime
    Can't someone come up with a vagina network for those of us who use (or aspire to use) said vaginas? Bravo has its moments but the Millionaire Assholes Matchmaker/Real Housewives of Who Cares shows are tiresome, and the Style Network is too brainless for words. Oprah's is dull (heresy! but true) and The Learning Channel has become the pedophiles' network.
    Seriously, we women need a *hip* network…
    …or, WTH, why restrict it to females? We Wonketteers want a hip network, stat…

  13. widestanceromance

    [staring at sky]

    Whenever I have thoughts about going back to TV, a miracle happens. I feel close to God in a non-NIN way for a change.

  14. BarackMyWorld

    This is going to be another funny story to tell people about the future if I ever get sucked back in time 20 years.

  15. SolitaireRose

    So, another reality show for her to quit before it's done filming? What happened to her new version of "The Odd Couple"?

    1. paulabflat

      well, technically, tripp is shailey's namesake, but even i would pay to watch that one.

  16. johnnyzhivago

    I'd rather be fastened in a straightjacket with my eyelids forced open while being continuously waterboarded in front of a giant screen television playing back to back episodes of Hillbilly Handfishing than watch this trollop and her fame whore mother snorting through their blowholes on some stupid reality show.

  17. ttommyunger

    Not gonna watch it, not gonna do it, wouldn't be prudent at this juncture, nope…..thousand points of light……

  18. Manhattan123

    Is Bristol the fat, waste-of-space daughter who was on that dancing show, or is she the the fat, waste-of-space daughter who wasn't on that dancing show?

  19. FannyBurney

    This news explains Bristol's staged book signing in Dupont Circle last month while Mama G. was holding her screech fest at CPAC.

  20. DocChaos

    Given what's popular on reality television, I wonder if Bristol's life is tawdry and pathetic enough for the show to to succeed. She may have to pop out another half dozen kids or at least marry a basketball player or aging rapper. What's Dennis Rodman doing these days?

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