Rick Santorum Does Too Love Ladies, Like Those Female Founding Fathers

No surprise here: Rick Santorum lost with every single category of woman voter in Michigan's primary. Although, this could still be considered something of an accomplishment, seeing as how much of the nation learned only two (2) months ago that there was an unfortunate idiot with "capital-S" Santorum for a surname -- what ill luck! -- and seeing also that the candidate lacks the obvious sleaziness of a Newt Gingrich with his collection of wives or a Herman Cain trying to practice his love all over the place, gross. But Rick Santorum is just that solid a lady-repelling lunatic. Except that, aren't elections about winning votes? SHIT, when did that memo go around? Quick, Rick, say something to win the women back to your side, something great about women that no wingnut can possibly get upset about. Here goes: "The men and women who signed that [Declaration of Independence] wrote the final phrase, 'We pledge to each other our lives, our fortune, and our sacred honor," he says. No, Rick, you cannot just pick something you like that men got to do and pretend some ladies got to do it also.

First, the numbers:  

Looking at the women's vote specifically, Santorum lost every category of women polled Tuesday night, including working women, single women, and married women. He lost working women by 4 points, single women by 7 points, and married women by 3 points.

He acknowledged this poor performance in his loser's speech in Michigan by trying to fish a single nice thing to say about women in general from his pea brain and coming up with a historical event that included no women whatsoever:

He spent most of his speech repeating the themes he does on the stump, including his mention of the Declaration of Independence, but this evening there was a twist on that, too.

"The men and women who signed that declaration wrote the final phrase, 'We pledge to each other our lives, our fortune, and our sacred honor," Santorum said.

There were no women who signed the Declaration of Independence.

The lady Founding Fathers exist only in the imaginary ether, like Rick Santorum's chances of winning the presidency. [ABC News]