great historarians of our time

Rick Santorum Does Too Love Ladies, Like Those Female Founding Fathers

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He heard ladies just love turtlenecks.

No surprise here: Rick Santorum lost with every single category of woman voter in Michigan’s primary. Although, this could still be considered something of an accomplishment, seeing as how much of the nation learned only two (2) months ago that there was an unfortunate idiot with “capital-S” Santorum for a surname — what ill luck! — and seeing also that the candidate lacks the obvious sleaziness of a Newt Gingrich with his collection of wives or a Herman Cain trying to practice his love all over the place, gross. But Rick Santorum is just that solid a lady-repelling lunatic. Except that, aren’t elections about winning votes? SHIT, when did that memo go around? Quick, Rick, say something to win the women back to your side, something great about women that no wingnut can possibly get upset about. Here goes: “The men and women who signed that [Declaration of Independence] wrote the final phrase, ‘We pledge to each other our lives, our fortune, and our sacred honor,” he says. No, Rick, you cannot just pick something you like that men got to do and pretend some ladies got to do it also.

First, the numbers:

Looking at the women’s vote specifically, Santorum lost every category of women polled Tuesday night, including working women, single women, and married women. He lost working women by 4 points, single women by 7 points, and married women by 3 points.

He acknowledged this poor performance in his loser’s speech in Michigan by trying to fish a single nice thing to say about women in general from his pea brain and coming up with a historical event that included no women whatsoever:

He spent most of his speech repeating the themes he does on the stump, including his mention of the Declaration of Independence, but this evening there was a twist on that, too.

“The men and women who signed that declaration wrote the final phrase, ‘We pledge to each other our lives, our fortune, and our sacred honor,” Santorum said.

There were no women who signed the Declaration of Independence.

The lady Founding Fathers exist only in the imaginary ether, like Rick Santorum’s chances of winning the presidency. [ABC News]

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Comments

Hey there, Wonkeputians! Shypixel here to remind you to remember our Commenting Rules For Radicals, Enjoy!

  • Barb

    For Rick Santorum to love me he'd have to bring duct tape and a rag full of ether.

    • Tundra Grifter

      Ah – the James O'Keefe seduction technique…

      • Crank_Tango

        Note how you don't hear any ladies complaining about it…

    • sharethegrief

      His wife considers that foreplay.

      • Terry

        He tells her to lay back and think of the Founding Fathers.

        • comrad_darkness

          And Fatherettes…

    • Toomush_Infer

      Aw, Barb, I didn't know you were that kind of girl….

    • http://dismalpseudoscientist.wordpress.com Deportably_Jose

      Kinky.

    • Dashboard Buddha

      And a 78 Camaro…don't forget the Camaro.

      • OhNoGuy

        Plus, box of wine & mullet.

  • DrunkIrishman

    But a few of 'em did look like ladies. Just sayin'.

    • emmelemm

      Whigs!

      (yes, I know, that's non-contemporeaneous)

    • http://krisbunda.com/blog/index.php Designer_Rants

      I bet they didn't smell like ladies, though #eighteenthcenturyhygeine

  • nounverb911

    Maybe Santorum should take some history lessons from Newt.

    • Wilcoxyz

      Can't afford them. Only rich snobs can pay $1.6 mill for college lessons.

    • Tundra Grifter

      Sounds like he already got a couple of history lessons from Michele Bachmann.

      I'm sure by this time it can be confirmed on Wikipedia.

      • LesBontemps

        And your own namesake.

      • heathenette

        Or Conservipedia.

  • Arken

    "There were no women who signed the Declaration of Independence."

    And exactly who do you think Joan Hancock was?

    • sezme

      or Susan B. Palin?

      • Loaded_Pants

        I'm convinced that one was forged.

    • flamingpdog

      Ben Franklin was probably surrounded by women when he signed.

    • BornInATrailer

      Pfft. Just like the Cusacks, she was only there because of her brother.

  • meatlofer

    Ohh! Those Cunts.

    • IndianaKevin

      Good point. Why DID they refuse to sign?

  • nounverb911

    Rick you should have paid attention while you were learning to be snob in college.

    • OurDailyBread

      I swear to God that Ricky was ignored by his homeskool teacher.

  • Wilcoxyz

    In Rick Santorum's values-based America, a woman votes for who her husband tells her to.

    Unless the snobby whore went to college.

  • Callyson

    Rick Santorum Does Too Love Ladies, Like Those Female Founding Fathers
    So he's into girls with something extra. Not surprised.

    • yrbmegr

      Rick Santorum does too love "Ladies"….

      Fixed.

    • flamingpdog

      Newt need to remind Ricky that Ben Franklin was from Pennsylvania, not Transylvania.

  • http://wonkette.com Chillwillard

    I don't know why, but Rick strikes me as the kind of guy who's never been popular with the ladies. Catholic Priests on the other hand…

    • Graham Cracker

      Altar Boys, too…probably

    • WhatTheHeck

      Catholic Priests on the other hand…

      The original Fondling Fathers.

  • Blueb4sunrise

    We pledge to each other our lives, our fortune……

    Cool.

  • insidebeltway

    How could Santorum have come from Mr. Rogers' neighborhood? (Penn Hills)

    • HogeyeGrex

      Well, if it's at the top of a hill, and enough of the neighbors are having a giant anal sex orgy…

    • Biel_ze_Bubba

      Sweatervests have always been the rage in Penn Hills.

      • YasserArraFeck

        No BS, but the only two people* I know who wear sweater vests are from Penn Hills

        *Repubs, too

  • Callyson

    Eew, the Daily Beast link has an ad for yet another Saint Sarah show. "Game Change," indeed. Thank God I don't get HBO.

    • BerkeleyBear

      Well, since it depicts here as an out of control whack job, it comes a lot closer to news than anything Fox spews out.

    • fuflans

      isn't that the julianne moore / ed harris slam of the mccain / palin disaster? if it is, i think la palin called it sick or something.

      i would watch that.

      but then i don't get hbo.

    • Negropolis

      It's not a flattering movie of her to say the least. They actually scrap through all of the crap to reveal how the McCain campaign new almost instantly that they hadn't done their job.

  • Wilcoxyz

    His earlier stance was based on the GOP passing a law requiring a transvaginal ultrasound for voter registration. Low turnout was expected among Vaginal Americans.

  • SayItWithWookies

    Kirsten, you've been reading that elitist liberal revisionist history again. See, women signed the Declaration of Independence, but then a few years later when they decided they didn't want the right to vote, they erased all their names so future generations wouldn't be getting any uppity ideas.

    Then when men forced suffrage on women again (because men dig lesbian strip clubs and abortions, and how else were they going to get them?) nobody remembered the names of our great female patriots. See, American women weren't just limited to Dolly Madison and Molly Pitcher. There was whatsername, and that other whatsername, and probably a third whatsername too. And that's how liberals are destroying America.

    • flamingpdog

      Mmmm, pastries and beer – that's what I'm having for dinner tonight!

  • OkieDokieDog

    And Frothy proves that NO, he is not smarter than a 5th grader. GONG!

  • elviouslyqueer

    The crowd was enthusiastic, with one man shouting, “I love you,” but there was a sad tone in the air that began even before they took the stage, as the theme song to the “The Natural” played.

    Uh, Creamcup? Here's a protip: if you want the ladeez to love you, leave your boyfriend AT HOME.

    • Swampgas_Man

      But — but ladies LUV them some Gaizz! Just look at that Will and Grace show, or Ellen Degeneres!

    • Texan_Bulldog

      "The Natural" had a theme song? Robert Redford must be vociferously furrowing his wrinkled forehead about this.

      • PuckStopsHere

        The music they played was probably that which accompanied Roy Hobbs' game-winning, light-fixture-ruining HR to send the Knights to the World Series (where, in a little known fact, they were swept by the Yankees. The fucking Yankees.)

  • Callyson

    There were no women who signed the Declaration of Independence
    No, but we're making up for lost time by declaring independence from the Frothy Mix…

  • edgydrifter

    It's weird how talking about women signing the Declaration of Independence conversely reminds women of that time when they couldn't vote, or hold property, or work in an office. And it's double-weird how promising to bring back those "good old days" might be a turn-off to them.
    Poor Rick. Women be trippin'.

  • http://wonkette.com/ weej_bain

    Didn't Amelia Earhart sign the Declaration of Independence, or maybe it was Marie Curie? That was a long time ago and I was only a two cell zygote.

    • Biel_ze_Bubba

      It was Betsy Ross. She also took dictation, made photocopies, and brought coffee for the guys.

      • Biff

        I heard she made one helluva sandwich, too.

    • flamingpdog

      I thought it was Jeanne d'Arc who signed, but then I remembered they didn't let d'Arckies sign anything back then.

    • Negropolis

      It was actually Queen Victoria who signed it with a BIC ballpoint pen in 1492 and something with blue. also.

  • http://www.flickr.com/photos/30500320@N06/ DerrickWildcat

    All right. Who spilled the beans? Who told Rick that Women could vote?

  • http://wonkette.com/ FlownOver

    I'm not so sure about that "Button" Gwinnett. I'm just sayin'.

    • Local_Mojo

      Button had a button?

      • Jadetiger79

        HAHA I am a direct descendant of Button Gwinnett.

  • http://ifthethunderdontgetya.blogspot.com/ ifthethunderdontgetya

    Santorum lost every category of women polled Tuesday night

    You gotta hand it to him: NOBODY strikes out like Frothy Mix!
    ~

  • qwerty42

    …There were no women who signed the Declaration of Independence….
    Elitist snob. probably some fancy-pants "college-educated" liberal, pinko, fascist, commie, kenyan, mooslim. Not a Real American.

  • Biel_ze_Bubba

    Ricky's not the sharpest knife in the drawer. I think those powdered wigs fooled him completely.

    • Nostrildamus

      Now that you've pointed this out, Frothy's rethinking that last bar encounter.

      'Uh, oh!!!'

      • Generation[redacted]

        That was at the CPAC after-party, right?

  • sezme

    The men and women of all races who signed that declaration…
    /fixed for diversity vote!

    • OneYieldRegular

      Yes, really, what about Sacagawea? She woudint even BE on the doller coin if she werent a Founding Father.

      • http://facethesuncastnoshadow.wordpress.com/ Mumbletypeg

        Along those lines — collectibles like coins & whatnot — I just looked up who was the first woman to grace a U.S. postage stamp. Disapppointed to find it was, technically, Queen Isabella — yeah, "grace" has nothing to do with that.

        • Biel_ze_Bubba

          Typical – a guy does all the work, and his boss gets all the credit.

      • sezme

        Not to mention Thomas Jefferson. Everyone knows that Jefferson is a black name.

    • heathenette

      WIN

  • Joshua Norton

    There were no women who signed the Declaration of Independence.

    Yeah, but with all those poofy wigs and frilly shirts who can tell?

  • LesBontemps

    So now history is written by the weenies.

    • Antispandex

      If they are the winners…yes.

  • ProgressiveInga

    The only group Santorum will ever be president of is The He-Man Woman-Haters Club.

    • Toomush_Infer

      Not sure he could get elected President there – think Spanky has it sewed up..

      • ProgressiveInga

        O-Tay!

  • Schmannnity

    Even 18th Century women would have hated him.

    • LesBontemps

      Especially 18th Century women. Dolley Madison alone would have kicked his ass all the way back to Pennsylvania, and she was brought up a good Quaker girl.

    • Crank_Tango

      Hell, even Republican women hate him, apparently.

    • Blueb4sunrise

      Ye Olde Wonkette?

  • Chichikovovich

    Once you let women put their signatures on founding documents, before you know it you'll be finding dog paw prints there.

    • http://wonkette.com/ weej_bain

      Just leave it to Mark Foley's pedecessors, the Fondling Fathers?

    • flamingpdog

      Ricky better check to make sure none of those paw prints are smudged – they might be man-on-dog paw prints.

  • Antispandex

    Maybe the Declaration of Independence is just a theory, like evolution, so really it can be anything you want it to be, or maybe it's like partical physics that you can't really trust because you can't see it, or any of that other complicated science stuff……Crap, I'm sorry Frothy, I just can't think of an arguement that doesn't make you sound like a dumb shit.

    • finallyhappy

      Particle

      • Antispandex

        I know…I was trying to go all red state there…it was a motif.

  • OneYieldRegular

    With all this librul talk about rights and representation and such, you're ignoring the fact that women signed the Declaration of Independence in their Christian SOULS.

  • Joshua Norton

    That's nothing, Bachmann thinks the Declaration of Independence freed the slaves. In New Hampshire.

    • LesBontemps

      Where the Battle of Concord was fought.

      • Generation[redacted]

        All thanks to Paul Revere's bells.

      • Negropolis

        And, then they continued on to the Battle of Lexington, Kentucky.

  • http://dismalpseudoscientist.wordpress.com Deportably_Jose

    Look, I'm sure it was just an inartful way of saying that he totally liked women, before they had the franchise.

  • Loaded_Pants

    Ha! Two comments about Button Gwinett. Because, with a name like that, why not?

    • Jadetiger79

      HAHA I am a direct descendant of Button Gwinnett! No shit.

  • Joshua Norton

    Palin thinks Paul Revere made his midnight ride to protect the Second Amendment.

    I wonder which of the five colleges she attended taught her that.

    • Negropolis

      Oh, all of them, Ka…

  • http://facethesuncastnoshadow.wordpress.com/ Mumbletypeg

    You owe the disciples of the New Testament, those fishers-of-men and women, an apology Santorum. Those Founding Fathers of your hallowed Christian legacy included ladiez, too.

  • barto

    Maybe he got confused with all the women who wrote the bible?

    • Biff

      Wish I could introduce him to George Foote.

  • Barrelhse

    Maybe we should be looking at the reasons WHY all those women refused to sign.

  • stopthemovie

    hope all the woman that were polled were using birth control.

  • RavenRant

    When I heard him say that last night, my jaw dropped.

    Then I remembered that every single Republican who claims to love the Founding Fathers, the Revolution, the Declaration of Independence, and the Constitution, instantly follows up by proving him or herself staggeringly, brain-meltingly ignorant about all of the above.

    It's okay, though. Knowledge and reading comprehension are elitist. (Actually, the word elitist is too elitist. It shall henceforth be replaced by 'snobby', a word more familiar to dull normal mouth breathers.)

    True patriotism can only be demonstrated by abject ignorance of our nation's history and founding principles, just as true Christianity is the sole dominion of those who twist, befoul and pervert Christ's every teaching.

    But, by pointing out these inescapable facts, I am being bitterly partisan, uncivil, and lowering the tone of our national dialog. Sorreeee!

    • http://wonkette.com/ starfanglednut

      Yep, they claim to "love the Founding Fathers, the Revolution, the Declaration of Independence, and the Constitution", and then proceed to disparage Massachusetts.

    • http://loljazzcatz.blogspot.com/ Chet Kincaid

      "But, by pointing out these inescapable facts, I am being bitterly partisan, uncivil, and lowering the tone of our national dialog. Sorreeee!"

      You can put that particular pity-violin away, even the Republicans are publicly saying they know its their side that's guilty of that shit.

      • RavenRant

        What Republicans? Let's have at least three names, if you're going to make a blanket statement about "even the Republicans." All I'm hearing is, "Both sides do it."

        Case in point, 'moderate' Olympia Snowe's retirement statement:

        “I do find it frustrating, however, that an atmosphere of polarization and ‘my way or the highway’ ideologies has become pervasive in campaigns and in our governing institutions.”

        When asked if both Republicans and Democrats were to blame for Washington’s dysfunction, Snowe said, “Oh, absolutely.”

        And that's not a pity-violin you're hearing. (Condescending, much?) It is a righteously wrathful, "Cry havoc, and let slip the dogs of war!"

        • Negropolis

          I'm getting so damned tired of the media's reaction to Olympia Snowe. All she is is the Maine equivalent of Evan Bayh. She's lying through are GD teeth. She's retiring to do what the rest of them do: grift her fucking brains out.

          Though, I really can't blame her. Having to put up with the shit they do (even if they are a part of it) makes less financial sense when you know you can get just as much money (if not more) for half the effort and headache.

          • RavenRant

            Some are suggesting that she's trolling for a place on the 'Americans Elect' ticket, in the unlikely event that there will actually be such a ticket.

            But, grifting, absolutely, one way or another.

            May I infer that you are also unaware of the numerous Republicans publicly admitting that their party has been spewing dishonest, obstructionist, divisive hate speech more or less continuously since 2008? Because I've yet to see a one of them.

            In fact, I'm seeing more stuff like this:

            Federal judge admits he sent anti-Obama, racist e-mail

          • Negropolis

            May I infer that you are also unaware…

            You may absolutely not.

            BTW, what's going on, here? I'm in complete agreement with you. I'm genuinely confused as to why you're so hostile with others at the moment. Or, am I reading you wrong?

          • RavenRant

            Have you seen any evidence of Republicans admitting that their party has been divisive, partisan, and obstructionist?

            Have you seen anyone suggesting that this is not a case of "Both parties do it?" Because I have not. I have not seen Republicans acknowledging the poisonousness of their rhetoric and tactics.

            It was suggested to me earlier in this thread, (not by you), that I was ignoring a substantive Republican admission of their toxic tactics.

            My question to you was: Have you seen any elected or influential Republican operatives acknowledging the destructiveness of their rhetoric and behavior? Because I have not.

            No challenge or insult to you was intended.

        • http://loljazzcatz.blogspot.com/ Chet Kincaid

          Pat Robertson, Pat Buchanan, Jeb Bush, David Frum. Loosely speaking. It's pretty extraordinary that this cast of characters admits to anything wrong and over-the-top on their side, so we don't need to cower like it's 2003.

          • RavenRant

            They're just acknowledging that they are losing, not that they are wrong. Or that they are in any way culpable for the disasters they have wrought.

            Not one person currently holding or seeking elective office. Not one person with a shred of credibility in their own party, much less in any other. Utterly marginal figures. Why not quote K-Lo or Alvin Greene? How about the Anchoress or Michelle Malkin or Pamela Gellar? Frum has less credibility in Republican circles than basilmarceaux.com.

            And WTF is all this cowering, pity-violin rhetoric? I am not cowering nor am I seeking pity. A little Republican-style projection perhaps?

  • BlueStateLibel

    The only thing I wonder about is the women who DID vote for Santorum … most be some real winners.

    • RavenRant

      It's amazing the damage years of terrorizing little children with threats of eternal hellfire can do.

  • Toomush_Infer

    I want to know when all these Republicans discovered time travel…..and I'm a little afraid of the effect it's having on our indoctrinating collegial institutions…

  • Texan_Bulldog

    All I know is that one daughter of his who goes onstage with him is begging for an SNL Kristin Wiig impersonation. Here's a pic of her standing to his right:
    http://www.nytimes.com/2012/02/29/us/politics/san

    This one is even better: http://campaign2012.washingtonexaminer.com/articl

    • Limeylizzie

      MrLimeyLizzie was gobsmacked by the wife , after last week's primaries, he just sat there saying "My God that woman is unhappy".

      • flamingpdog

        Everybody made a fuss about how she decided Ricky's run for President was "God's will", like she felt that was a positive. How many times have you heard people look at a bad situation in their life and sigh, "It must be God's will."

        • Loaded_Pants

          I was going to write a rant about this stupid idea of "God's will" these fucking morons always keep squawking about but then I reread you comment & caught on to your point.
          Yeah, she is probably a deeply unhappy woman. No surprise there. She probably thinks "I should have stayed with the abortionist who was old enough to be my grandfather."

    • http://wonkette.com/ FlownOver

      Mrs. Flown says she keeps hearing a Tammy Wynette soundtrack whenever she sees that Santorette.

    • Biff

      She appears to be fairly robust, unbreakable. Nice teeth, though.

  • Dashboard Buddha

    You know, the 2008 GOP effort taxed my ability to keep up with the snark. But…but, this year it's incredible. There's so much stupid coming out of this campaign that most times all I can do is just sit here, stunned.

    • flamingpdog

      I've noticed the same problem lately. When something is ironic, it's easy to snark on it., but when it's just plain dumbfuckass stoopid, it's a lot harder to find anything of substance to snark on. You'd much rather just punch their teeth down their throat instead.

    • RavenRant

      Even Jon Stewart was reduced to two minutes of pure disbelieving gibberish on Monday.

      The cause was Santorum's "JFK makes me want to vomit" speech. Or maybe it was the "What a snob" comment. I forget which.

  • http://protoplasm.wordpress.com/ Preacher_Griz

    God exists in that imaginary ether, too. Which puts Sen Rick Sandtorum in excellent company. GIL!! PTL!!!

  • Doktor Zoom

    Oh, hey, here in Idaho we speak fluent Anachronism.* For instance, this afternoon, in the reception area in Family Court:

    One of our social workers was coming back from an interview with a little girl, maybe 7 years old or so, and as he and the intern who'd sat in on the meeting returned her to her dad, the social worker, in Light Conversation Mode, said, "I was just asking her if they'd talked about Leap Year in school today." Dad (a white guy in his late 20's) said, in a similarly Just Making Conversation tone, "Oh, all they've been teaching about has been Black History Month. Goldurn coon schools."

    After the dad & daughter left, I went back to the social worker's office to confirm that I'd heard what I'd heard–he and the intern were both just as astonished as I was. I suppose maybe we should offer the gentleman a cookie for politely saying "goldurn" instead of "goddamn."

    It's 2012 in Idaho, and I feel like yelling at someone.

    *Note my very clever attempt to make a completely OT anecdote seem somehow related to the thread!

    • Texan_Bulldog

      That's esp. amazing since there must be about 18 black people in ID. There's probably a greater chance of seeing an ET….

    • http://wonkette.com/ starfanglednut

      OMFG.

    • bagofmice

      Idaho nazis make Illinois nazis look like wimps.

    • Loaded_Pants

      Late 20s, was he? Fuck. "Post-racial America", my ass.

      • finallyhappy

        Bigotry has become ok, out loud in some places -look at the GOP candidates. Lesser bigots follow suit

        • RavenRant

          Yes, let us mourn the demise of the 'dog whistle'[. They're just spitting those epithets loud and clear now.

    • http://oliphantparts.org/ natoslug

      Dad sounds like one of the people who convinced me to give up on the Great Idaho Experiment almost two years ago and haul my ass and family back to the comfort and relative sanity of the redwoods.

    • DahBoner

      MY DOG CHASED YOUR COON SCHOOLS UP A TREE

    • Doktor Zoom

      Update: Good grief! The social worker actually called the dad back Wednesday night, because the incident was pretty unsettling and he wanted to get a clearer sense of what was going on with the dad before this incident went into the official report to the judge. It turns out that the man had actually said that his daughter's school hadn't [even] been teaching about Black History Month, and that what he had muttered at the end was "goldurn Kuna schools"–the name of that town is usually pronounced "kyoo-na," though I guess "koo-na" is also used.

      So it turns out he was saying, more or less, that it's no surprise the girl's school didn't teach anything about Leap Year, because, hey, in the month of February, they hadn't done anything with Black History Month, either. So what all three of us were pretty certain we heard as a racist epithet was actually 180 degrees from what the dad actually meant, and was a criticism of the school (and by implication, the town, which is small, rural, and largely white) for failing to teach anything about Black History Month

      So now this story turns into a tale of eyewitness unreliability, including my own, and I need to apologize for my error.

      • C_R_Eature

        Well, now that all my furniture has been smashed up and burnt to a huge pile of smoking ash and springs in the back yard, it's good to know the truth.

        Thanks.

        • Doktor Zoom

          Oh, hey, don't worry, the dad in the OTHER anecdote (The one who griped that mom allowed their kid to have a Facebook account…while Dad had a 2001 "child enticement" conviction) is still guilty as hell. And Breitbart still has admirers. And so does Sheriff Joe.

          And I have a terrible pain in all the diodes down my left side. I’ve asked for them to be replaced but no one listens…

          Not getting you down, am I?

          • user-of-owls

            Brain the size of a planet and CNN makes us listen to this guy.

          • C_R_Eature

            Well, that's good to know! I was ready to chalk up all that furniture devastation to practice, but it's All Good.

            No, no, Marvin, I'm perfectly happy! Hey, could you do me a favor? Go over and park that black spaceship in orbit, would you? That's right, just go on in and push the black "autopilot" button until the little black light goes on and it'll just fly itself.

            Thanks! I'll look into the diodes when you get back.
            heh heh hehe hehehe

          • not that Dewey

            When you are put into the Idaho Family Court System, you are given just one momentary glimpse of the entire unimaginable infinity of creation, and somewhere in it a tiny little mark, a microscopic dot on a microscopic dot, which says, "You are here".

  • Slim_Pickins

    I am old enough to remember the “good old days” when you would take a nutcase like Santorum (aka The Ayatollah Rickie, aka Pope Zero), tranq him, put him in a state mental hospital, and throw away the key.

    • flamingpdog

      After the Republicans concluded that winning over the dumbass rednecks wasn't good enough to carry them to another 100 years of electoral victories, Ronald Raygun started emptying out the asylums in order to solidify the Republican base.

    • BTWBFDIMHO

      Indeed, but thanks to R.R. (Ronald Reagan), there are no more mental hospitals.

    • Biff

      "We can't bust heads like we used to, but we have our ways."
      ~Abe Simpson

  • ClydeMydia

    That poster looks like it was printed WITH santorum.

    • http://wonkette.com/ FlownOver

      Every sentient being had the same reaction. Ricky – not so much.

      • Loaded_Pants

        Turdtype is the latest font.

        • flamingpdog

          Comic sans-torum

          • DahBoner

            After you use just one Santorum print cartridge, the entire printer needs to be disassembled and sterilized.

  • ElPinche

    Santorum to blame Billy Crystal in 1, 2 ,3…

  • http://johnnyzhivago.blogspot.com johnnyzhivago

    Santorum has a lot of explaining to do – I hope God is having a good day when she has to listen to his crap.

  • bravo_sierra

    Should have gone with "men and woaah people." It would have been easier to backtrack later.

  • http://johnnyzhivago.blogspot.com johnnyzhivago

    Wait a minute – didn't Sarah Palin sign the Declaration of Independence?

  • MissTaken

    I don't know. I heard that Francis Lightfoot Lee liked to put on his petticoat and bat his pretty eyelashes at Ben Franklin while smooching on Patrick Henry.

  • Limeylizzie

    As a lady, I am proud of my Republican sisters in Michigan for seeing the light. Fuck, I cannot fucking believe that I even wrote that.

  • http://wonkette.com/ starfanglednut

    It's mighty impressive how those women managed to sign the Declaration of Independence, while keeping the aspirin firmly between their knees.

  • http://wonkette.com/ starfanglednut

    Bitchez set him up!

  • JackObin

    "Fourscore and seven years ago, the blacks brought forth the rap music on our shores, ending slavery as we know it".

  • BarackMyWorld

    Speaking of the ladies…Rush has really topped himself this time…
    Student Denied Spot At Contraception Hearing Says "She Must Be Paid To Have Sex," So She's A "Slut" And "Prostitute"

    His reasoning could be applied to any women who want coverage for contraception.

    Go ahead, conservatives, defend that shit.

  • http://wonkette.com/ starfanglednut

    Of course women signed the Declaration of Independence! Don't you remember Rosa Parks?

  • MinAgain

    That Stephanie Hopkins from Rhode Island was quite a gal.

  • Dashboard Buddha

    Wait how did we forget Dolly Madison?

  • owhatever

    That "pledging our fortune" bit sounds a lot like income redistribution.

  • http://www.southsidejohnny.com/ Jukesgrrl

    He heard that legend about Pope Joan … what? You mean the Declaration of Independence wasn't drafted at the Vatican??

  • SwanSwanH

    Turdlenecks.

  • http://sciencekick.blogspot.com valthemus

    I wish these guys would learn to pace themselves. I don't want them running out of stupid before Fall.

    I also wish I knew what to do about all the people who now believe that women really *did* sign the Declaration of Independence.

  • BTWBFDIMHO

    Most of the FFs actually look like Brazilian shemales, so please give Rick some slack.

  • BTWBFDIMHO

    Rick's main message is sex is bad , so no wonder he's in conflict with the vaginatti. But look carefully at his face, he seems to visit Onan frequently.

  • Redhead

    "There were no women who signed the Declaration of Independence."

    Of course not. Just as God and Santorum intended, the wimminz were at home cooking food for their husbands, who were sure to be hungry after all that fancy document signing, and holding aspirin between their knees.

  • jtgillick

    yesindeedydo – let's hear it for THE WOMEN OF THEN!

    they who truly were as women were meant by god to ever be –

    patriotic … AND INVISIBLE!

  • E_Tx_Pines

    Has anyone called Ricky on that gaffe by asking him to name the women who signed?

  • ttommyunger

    Does this motherfucker EVER think about what he's saying before he says it? He's using Samson's weapon to kill his campaign: jawbone of an ass. Not that I care, mind you.

  • fitley

    What font is Ricky's sign? Feces Bold?

  • Negropolis

    Little known (made up) fact: Benjamin Franklin was a talented cross-dressing lesbian. Her name was actually Beatrice Franklin, and she loved her some French girls.

  • lloydstool

    Catholics almost never fuck, and when they do, there is Hell Toupee: Ricky happens. Didn't we leave England to get away from guys like this? I'm feelin' all Rickrolled.

  • DahBoner

    Please!

    They referred to themselves as America's Founding Bitches