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Uh oh, some blowhard who’s written a book called The Politically Incorrect Guide to the Founding Fathers recently saw a lady using food stamps at the Wal-Mart — just like Ronald Reagan warned us they would! She was buying necessaries with her big government EBT card, and then using her own cash to buy beer and cigarettes. Was this fellow encountering the actual Satan, in the flesh? Fortunately he lived to tell about it, in an opinion column in the Daily Caller. What further steps should the government take to ensure poor people are humiliated as much as possible — if there’s anything? He’s got some ideas, oh he’s got ’em.

He bases his food stamp reform on the television show Lost, just in case you were worried about the seriousness of these proposals. The basic idea is to force food stamp recipients to spend their welfare cash at second-tier government stores with poor-quality food, designed to humiliate the lowly consumer as much as possible and scare away the strapping young bucks determined to purchase T-bone steaks:

Dharma-style food stamp reform would have four basic components. First, the federal government would create a government “brand” of essential food items such as milk, cheese, meat, cereal, vegetables, bread, peanut butter, beans, juice, soup, baby formula, diapers, etc., and would package the items with simple black-and-white labels and basic descriptions. The word “Government” would be stamped across the top in bold letters so everyone would know it was a welfare item. These items could be manufactured by major companies through government contracts, thus not creating a net loss to private industry. Because competition is not an issue, taste and quality, with the exception of the baby formula and baby food, would not be a top priority. Snacks, soda, cigarettes and beer would not be available through the program.

Second, the government would lease existing store fronts and set up “government stores.” There are typically several grocery store locations that have gone out of business in any given area; these would make ideal settings for the new government stores. The number of store locations would be chosen based on the size of the area and its number of food stamp recipients. The stores would be placed on public transportation routes for convenience.

Third, and most importantly, all food stamp recipients would be required to spend their government dollars at these stores.

And so on. A tobacco and drug test would, of course, be administered too. And why not throw this in for good measure: “People on government aid would also lose the privilege of voting.” Did you see that, too? “The privilege of voting.”

Wrap it all up, friend!

There should be humiliation and pain in government assistance. Every time someone accepts food stamps, they are spitting on the principles of independence, and they, not the taxpayers who fund the program, should be reminded of that fact.

What exciting adventure will this choad have at the Wal-Mart next time? Maybe a poor person will ask for a quarter! Let’s hope it ends in a citizen’s arrest and Gitmo murder.

[Daily Caller]

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