Who knew there was still a law pertaining to gun purchases left on the books in Virginia? This is the state where everyone gathers around open car trunks to buy assault weapons by the wheelbarrowload in plain daylight, after all. And yet this law, a one-handgun-per-month purchasing restriction, has remained on the books for 19 years, perhaps due to clerical oversight. But now the ladies’ man of a governor down there, Bob McDonnell, has signed a repeal of this law in his latest, most patriotic volley in the “Mitt Romney Veepstakes.”
What else sparked Bob McDonnell’s decision to sign this bill overturning “Virginia’s landmark one-handgun-a-month law, a restriction put on the books in the early 1990s when gun trafficking was seen as a problem along the East Coast”? Another opportunity to stick it to this group of famous liberal whiners, perhaps:
The governor’s action came days after he spoke by phone with some family members of the victims of the Virginia Tech shootings, who on Tuesday expressed disappointment with the governor’s decision.
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Lock and load!! Woo-hoo!!
Don't retreat, retard!
Maryland is for lovers.
Virginia is for assholes.
Havin a duzzin handgunz proteks our freedumz. Y do u hatez uhMEHRikka so much? UHSALT RIFLE LIEBULZ!!!!
Virginia is for gun-runners.
Fuckers have hit on a great way to cut down on the number of minority voters in East Coast cities: increase the odds that some shithead will kill them.
Virgina is for Gun Lovers.
And Non-Consensual Vagina-Lovers
Now the women of Virginia can shoot the state senators that want to rape them.
Yay!
This will just give Emperor Obamum more guns to confiscate in his third term.
Ask any Virginian what their favorite tree is and they will answer "a gun rack"
Second favorite is the lynchin' tree.
And here I thought it was a ladder.
Is that because all the family trees have no branches?
I see what you did there.
However, gun sellers will be required to give the firearms ultrasounds before they cede their parental responsibilities.
I know what you're thinking. "Did he sign six bills or only five?" Well, to tell you the truth, in all this excitement I kind of lost track myself. But being as this is a .44 Magnum, the most powerful handgun in the world, and would blow your head clean off, you've got to ask yourself one question: Did he buy it this month? Or last month? Well, it don't matter now, punk!
Go ahead, make my day!
A man's got to
knowrepeal his limitations.Somehow I don't feel safer.
But that feeling you do have, it feels like *FREEDUM*!!!!9!!1!!1!!
Don't Virginians have better things to do than scanning lady parts for fetuses and blowing shit up?
No.
Only so much cousin-fucking a person can do.
We also are national leaders in the tobacco trade. You can thank us later.
Luckily, gun trafficking is no longer "seen as a problem" on the east coast.
Somebody tell the rednecks of Virginny that this law will help Eric Holder purchase more guns for Fast And Furious Part II: Tijuana Drift and they will pass a law outlawing gun sales there.
It amazes me how different parts of this country are from each other. Shit that people do routinely in the south would get them arrested or put in a mental hospital up here.
Unfortunately, you have to do an ultrasound on someone before you shoot them. They're hoping for some human bond to be formed.
Cool, cant wait for "Gun Runners" on A&E.
That "Show Us Your Guns" skit that SNL did about 35 years ago doesn't seem so funny now.
More like prescient.
Never saw this before.
How much do I love, after a beginning of generic suburban folks all showing their guns, at about 50 seconds into the video, the "legitimate businessman" in the black shirt and white tie is all ready to show us his gun, but his friend (who I'm guessing is named Vinny) shakes his head No?
This appears to be a takeoff on an old cigarette commercial, back when they had such things, where a truck drives through town exhorting the populace to, "Show us your LARK pack!". It even has the same music. MAD magazine also spoofed the ad by showing a bunch of ex-smokers outside the lung x-ray clinic flipping off and shaking their fists at the truck.
That's because this country is more backward than it was 35 years ago.
a Christopher Newport University/Richmond Times-Dispatch statewide poll that showed that 66 percent want the one-handgun-a-month restriction to remain and 31 percent favor repeal
Cue the wingnuts citing that study about stupid voters in 3…2…1…
Librul voters in a statewide poll conducted by snobs.
You wrongly assume wingnuts can read.
Annie,Get your gun!
This is great news for
John McCainNew York gun criminals.And Virginia Tech students!
NEEDZ MOAR BAZOOKAS!!!!!!!!!!
Virginia: New motto: "Your reproductive rights are reproductive wrongs. And the men need guns to make up for their small penises."
I'm not sure how to fit that on a bumper sticker.
And, by law, each handgun will come with a complimentary case of Old Crow. This is gonna be fun!
Well, with these cheap Chinese knock-off assault rifles they're stocking at Wal*Mart these days, and how they wear out so darn quickly, OF COURSE you need to be able to buy more than one a month. But luckily, at $48.97 you can afford them.
Sheesh!
To be fair, those knock-off Chinese Assault Rifles are pretty much the go-to weapon of choice for taking on Deathclaws and Super Mutants. You're right about them breaking down, though, and when they do, it's a bitch trying to find another one to repair them with.
Over the past 19 years, your average Virginian was allowed to purchase a mere 228 guns. Repeal the fucking law.
Needz moar "drunk redneck on ATV firing six-shooter in air."
Ah, nothing like live ammo, off road vehicles, and a case of icy cold brews!!!
Wait a week.
DAKKA DAKKA DAKKA WAAAAAGH!!!
STILL NEEDS MORE DAKKA
-Virgina Governor Bob McDonnell
***Gun Sale***Gun Sale***
Buy all the guns you want. Ask about Criminally Insane discount!!!
"Gunday, Gunday, Fabulous Aquasco SPEEDwaay!!!"
(Sorry, just a little Murland nostalgia – don't expect no upfists unless you're old and from Murland.)
Not limited to your paisans/homies: Every state, every town, has the speedway commercial (when I was a teenager, it was SUNDAY! SUNDAY!! Nitro-burning funny cars at Raceway Park in Englishtown, NJ!!!), and they all have the same announcer, the Monster Truck/Heavy Metal concert announcer guy. He must be a freakin' billionaire by now.
Oh gosh, it's been years and years….
"SUNDAY! SUNDAY! NEW ENGLAND DRAGWAY!!"
Nice thing about selling guns to the criminally insane is you can overcharge up the gahzoo and get them to buy all sorts of accessories like bat-sonar night scopes, snub nose .38 bayonets and special load gopher ammo.
Truly the time had come to remove this ridiculous government intrusion into the private lives of citizens. If the Governor hadn't repealed the law it was only a matter of time before lawmakers would have pressed farther and demanded some sort pre-purchase test, perhaps a trans-rectal ultrasound or some such, to be performed on every potential gun buyer. Virginians wouldn't have tolerated that so, thank you, Governor for standing up for our rights.
What about a transvaginal ultra-sound with pistol grip?
I was gonna say double barrel probe or snubnosed snatch shooter. Whichever.
What, a double penetration probe? That's pretty kinky for the Old Dominion, don't'cha think?
Those with the Pachmayr grips are highly recommended for those with larger hands – super comfortable for extended probing without hand fatigue!
"transvaginal ultra-sound"
Great name for a band!
This is just vitamin legislation. Gun nuts get to buy one a day, plus iron.
Your move, Arizona.
The governor’s action came days after he spoke by phone with some family members of the victims of the Virginia Tech shootings, who on Tuesday expressed disappointment with the governor’s decision.
Funny how Virginians are all for guns until they're not.
OT – but I need to fume. A priest refuses a woman communion in the communion line at her own mother's funeral, because she lives with another woman. (And notice that in all the greasy apologies, the church never actually says the priest ought not to have done this – only that the priest should have done it in private.)
http://www.washingtonpost.com/local/dc-archdioces…
I read about that earlier; it's sickening.
That lady should go over and buy a gun in VA and shoot that priest.
ok i just did a spit take.
but man, catholics, you are going to get fucked up.
be nice.
Catholic Priest Does Horrible Thing, Church Doesn't Apologize
Why does that sound familiar….?
Everything the Catholic Church has done throughout at least my entire lifetime?
You must be really, really old.
So this priest… what, scans the newspaper/his sources for those unworthy of receiving holy sacraments and boots them out of line? Or does he reserve his righteousness just for lesbians?
That seems fair. Only Jesus Brides get to live with other women.
Whatever happened to that line about, "Judge not lest ye be judged." Did they edit that out?
Well, it's not the judging as such that I've got a problem with. Judge murderers and torturers like the good Catholics Pinochet, Franco, Ante Pavelić, Marshal Pétain, the good Catholics who ran Argentina's dirty war, etc. by all means. [As it happens, I've never heard of any of those people being denied communion. I guess they weren't as sinful and evil as this woman who had a loving relationship with her partner].
What I find disgraceful is how they are judging, not that they are judging.
It would be hypocritical for me to object to judging as such, since I'm judging the Catholic hierarchy. Judging them to be loathesome and vile, as a matter of fact.
Yes, we all make judgments everyday and we must do so to survive in many cases. I guess my reference was to the lost ideal of Christianity as religion that values mercy and inclusion.
I understand. It seems in retrospect as if the 60's, 70's and 80's, post Vatican II and John XXIII was a quiet, behind the scenes but fierce struggle between the loving, pastoral side of the church, and the heartless, authoritarian command side. It's clear which side won.—
Just got done with Thomas Higginson's account of being the commander of the first black regiment raised for the Union. He asked one of the Sergeants if he intended to return to his home in the South after the war. No, the SGT replied, "I don't think these Sechesses will be civilized in my lifetime." Or for a long time afterwards.
"I don't think these Sechesses will be civilized in my lifetime."
My command of German is limited to a very few words, but I read that as: "I don't think these Schiesses will be civilized in my lifetime."
When you legalize guns only legals will have guns!!!
I sure hope when I get my trans-vaginal ultrasound they don't find the 3 handguns I have concealed in my hoo haa. Don't judge, I just like to bang.
Man, what can't you girls fit up there? It must be nice having a mini storage locker between your legs – lots of room for aspirin.
I thought they stored the aspirin between their knees. Or is that where they hold the chicken?
Three? My, that's quite a vagarmory you have there!
I heard of a girl from Asia who not only stored three in her vag, she could also hit a bullseye without ever laying a finger on one of those handguns.
For vag storage, are the extended magazines a plus or minus?
Makes for explosive orgasms.
Happiness is a warm gun?
Better than shooting your mouth off.
The best way to prevent gun violence is to keep a .45 between your knees.
Well he's locked up the school shooter vote!
The fuck is going on in Virgina?
Virginians.
I grew up in N.Vagina, my only liberal sis lives in N. Vagina. I guess that's the only place sane place left.
Jesus stupid, have some coffee. Spell the name of the fucking state you grew up in properly. Jesus.
CorEk SPeliNg is ILiTiSt11!!!11
They elected a shit load of Republicans to high office.
Yep. That's pretty much it. And they run the state like they're the fucking mafia.
"Nice snatch ya got there."
[presses nose with index finger]
"Be a shame if anything… *happened* to it."
Here in Virginia, we hold the gubernatorial election the year following the presidential election. Since Jimmy Carter was elected in 1976 and John Dalton was elected (governor of Virginia) in 1977, the party that wins the White House does not win the Va Governor's Mansion. The voter turnout is about 20-30 percentage points lower in gubernatorial election years vs presidential election years. So basically, our governors here in the old dominion are elected by the sore losers of the previous year's presidential election. (Because who cares about the governorship when my guy's in the White House? U! S! A! U! S! A!)
Plus there's a lot of rednecks and old money (old, as in accumulated by exploiting slave labor and/or addiction [ahem, I mean adult consumer products])
How did the government ever expect that one gun a month could be anywhere close to sufficient? It's a little tough to arm a militia movement with just one gun a month – I mean – get real!
Let the Virginia firearm freedom fucks have as many weapons as they want, but limit (by law) their ammunition purchases to no more than one bullet per day.
That's a plan I could live with.
Well, maybe not out of wedlock, since I'm a virgin – ia… ha ha.
Ok, back to the school yard for me…
Until I can openly own the kind of wide area munitions that deny my enemies (neighbors) access to my property I won’t be satisfied. When will this pussy Republican Party stand up for my second amendment right to cluster bombs.
How about those motion activated machine guns like they had in Aliens? Keep the kids off your lawn and the deer out of your garden.
Predator drones or GTFO!
http://www.abc.net.au/news/2011-08-05/swedish-kit…
Damn. This is the second time this nutless wonder has pussied out this month – the original bill sent would have REQUIRED Virginians to buy a gun per month.
Why don't potential victims just buy Kevlar? That's a good, American-made product. Help stimulate the economy!
Until I can properly protect my property with 120mm mortars, I'm not going to be satisfied with this kind of pussy-footing around, McDonnell.
~
I knew I could find the appropriate response. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iGxpdP3ZbWQ
Shouldn't he be flying the stars and bars, rather than the stars and stripes?
Guns don’t kill people. Vaginas kill people.
Captain Spaulding
~
I think that should read: 'People who own vaginas kill people'.
In our conversation with him on Saturday, he didn't offer a single rational explanation for getting rid of it," said Lori Haas, mother of Emily Haas, who was injured in the April 16, 2007, massacre
Silly Emily. McDonnell is the governor of Virgina so he can't be rational.
A conceal carry permit should require a assoctomy. Sounds about right.
Hey, I carry concealed myself. How the fuck else am i supposed to protect myself from all these hillbillies packin heat all around me. East Tennessee isn't the safest place for a liberal.
Pay no attention, folks, simply stocking up for the coming race war…
Here's how many guns is too many guns: ANY guns.
I work p/t at a place that was closed Monday because of a gun threat–one specifically naming my part of the workplace. And while I didn't work Monday (hardly anybody did, actually, because the place CLOSED), I do work this evening. And I don't especially want to, or feel safe, even though this was probably a stupid prank.
I have just zero interest in being a school shooting stat.
Ohio would like a word with you, asshole McDonnell.
Earlier:
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Why oh why, wonkette? This is your humble Mumbletypeg, she of caustic but hardly inflammatory wordscribe-smithery. It's not as if mine was an especially l-o-a-d-e-d statement, my offending comment.
I had that problem a while back, it seems it was caused by the excessive-hyphenation of my word-smithery.
So, the boys have more guns, the girls have more dignity, and everybody's happy, right?
Dagnabbit, if we can't probe 'em, we'll darn well shoot 'em!
To be fair, vibrators are classified as hand guns in Va. The Gov was just trying to help the little ladies out after the recent misunderstanding.
The gun freaks actually believe that the problem with the VT shootings was: Not enough guns.
Maybe if we ignore it long enough, they'll end up all shooting each other?
The governor also spoke with a representative of the KKK, who arranged his bedsheet neatly, took off his pointy hat and said, "Dangnabbit,governor, we'uns need more pistols. Only being able to buy one handgun a month is hurtin' recruitin' efforts." And the governor, he say, "Un-hunh. You gonna make me a campaign donation?" And the grand lizard, he say back, "Un-hunh. And you know anywhere round here my granddaughter can get an abortion? She got herself knocked up during a rally in the Great Dismal Swamp." And the governor, he say, "No problemo, but you gotta shoot the Satanist doctor afterward." etc…
That is so unfair of the families of the victims of the Virginia Tech shooting. Clearly, the reason they were victims was that they could only buy one handgun a month. This tragedy would never have happened if they could have bought more.
Ladies' man, or Girlie Man- you decide.
Great! So what you're saying is that, faced with an unplanned pregnancy, shooting my brains out is now a simpler option than getting an abortion in Virginia!
Trans-rectal prostate exams (with speculum, please) for every male gun owner in Virginia– Because the last thing you want when owning a gun is to find out your shooting blanks.
As we say around these parts (Arlandria), "Pew, pew, pew, pew, pew!"
Also, "Pewpewpew, pewpewpewpew!"
This comment has been shot to Hell and back by a bunch of Virginians.
Just how tiny must Bobby McDonnell's dick be? What a miserable, little man.
So, which state will be the first to mandate that every citizen buys a gun?
BTW, when is Mayor-for-Life Mikey Bloomberg going to send in the NYPD to bomb Virginny?
But by then, Bob will be the Veep and running the Senate, Palin style.
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