The tanned and dapper California Republican who dated Greatest American Hero George W. Bush’s sister Doro, and yet never porked her, not even once (to classy dame Barbara’s great dismay), will leave Congress as his shitty Inland Empire district has been redrawn. And guess what? It’s now full of Mexicans.
(Haha, letting “citizens” redraw the districts was supposed to keep it from being gerrymandered by those vicious Democrats. As with everything in the history of democracy — American Idol, America — letting citizens run it turned out terribly. Even Dreier’s neighbor and beloved “most corrupt member of Congress” Rep. Jerry Lewis is retiring, because of the liberal Mexican menace.
The congressman, who’s second only to Rep. Dana Rohrabacher for Rumors of Ghey, also “dated” leathery Republican mummy and that chick your dad used to choke it to, Bo Derek. And that is all he is famous for, that and probably liking to sex in men’s bottoms, the end.
[LA Times]
{ 108 comments }
Doro, was she the one in the jar?
My computer screen is really glad I was only drinking water when I read that.
Mush-a ring feta-a do feta-a da
Wack fall your daddy-off, wack fall your daddy-off
There's a fetus in the jar
No, no. That was Jarbra. He dated her too.
On my God, hilarious Tranny.
I thought we had settled on Jar Jar Bush?
They really lurve fetuses, don't they?
No, I don't think so. This is totally weird, but she's married to a Koch. Not one of those Kochs, apparently, a Democrat Koch. But it's still safe to say she's a Kochsucker.
They come in two flavors, huh?
She's the one that looks like Kathy Geiss from 30 Rock.
When is a dor not a dor? When it's ajar!
Yuck, yuck, yuck, I'm here all week, Bar.
Farewell, David! May you find everlasting love with your landscaper.
If he wasn't ghey before, dating a female version of W. would likely do it.
Yet ANOTHER example of Messicans taking the jobs Americans don't want.
Ah, but it'll be a clean district now.
with nice lawns
covered in parked cars
And lots of handsome pool boys and rich husbands wondering how the kids turned out so tan.
He hasn't lived in the district for years. Maybe he'll reconsider since he might get a chance to tap some of that spicy Messican tail?
Santorumole?
Isnt' it weird that a congressman doesn't have to live in the district that they represent?
What you thought a representative governnment meant that you would be repressented by someone who sympathized with your concerns?
If they need any details about how to pull it off, they can ask Rick Santorum … a guy who got his job in Congress by drawing attention to the fact that the sitting rep didn't spend "enough" time in Pittsburgh. Upon being elected, Little Rickie moved to exurban Virginia, where he lives to this day in McMansion splendor while bragging about his working-class roots.
yeah it's like there oughta be a LAW or something requiring these douchebags to actually LIVE amongst their own peeps…we just 'discovered' that our OWN august Senator DICK Lugar has not even owned a home in Indiana since after he was elected to the Senate in 1977 WTF? and the idiot had the nerve to use his former address (the house he sold in '77) on his voter registration, SRSLY WTF? I really can't believe this was never exposed til now, 35 FREAKIN' YEARS after the fact (btw this guy has been touted as a 'moderate' Repig his entire career and yet he voted WITH the criminal Bush boy 99% of the time!)
Speaking of this, I've always been happy with Senator Levin here in Michigan. While everyone else fled Detroit — white, black, rich, poor, basically everybody but the Mexicans — Senator Levin has remained in Detroit proper, and actually downsized on the housing front living in a rather-modest high-rise apartment near downtown.
Sheriff Babeu gives the Messicuns two thumbs up!
And vice versa!
Your move, Lindsay.
Well yes, gay men don't like putting their penises in a Bush.
*Drum roll* Aaaaaaannnd a twofer.
Did he seriously put his sign up? Who the fuck cares what his sign is. Is he in a '70s disco wearing Hai Karate and drinking a Gin and Fresca?
Tab — Fresca's bad for his figure.
Oh Man, the memories that brings back!
"that chick your dad used to choke it to, Bo Derek."
My dad? Uh, maybe you had better check the age demographic here.
Our grandchildren, maybe. The younger ones.
Me to. I have the oldz now? Listen you whipper-snappers if I catch you on my lawn one more time I'm calling your mom and dad down here. And by the way, IT'S MY BASEBALL NOW!!!!!!!!!
No doubt!
To make you feel even older, Davy Jones just died of a heart attack.
Was he a believer?
Too obvious? ____ yes _____ Hell yes
Shit, I see you're right. This actually has me feeling sad.
Now that's sad news. I had such a crush on him.
My daughter had a crush on him. In reruns on Nickelodeon, that is. I'm old, but not that old.
So I guess I can quit saving my money to go to the Monkees Reunion Tour.
Can't help myself – he's in the locker….
And then my heart just stopped.
Now, I'm a cadaver.
I couldn't have her.
If I tried.
That is so, so, sooooooo bad. *guffaw*
I just found this out. Am I old? He wasn't even my FIRST crush! (Bobby Sherman, anyone….anyone?)
Yep, I'm with you….
Listen Blader, I take all the kissing up I can get around here. (And elsewhere, come to think of it.)
Oy! Vat a shandeh! Ven I vas your age, Vonkette Jr., ve had respect for our elders! (I'm a Jew, and now apparently I have teh oldz, so I guess I need to start talking like that.)
Just to make you guys feel better, when I first heard the name Bo Derek mentioned, I thought it was a black, male athelete.
Did Doro look like her mother? Because that would kinda explain the lack of porking, unless it was her having a bajina.
Worse: like her brother.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dorothy_Bush_Koch
For those of you wondering about the No on 29 campaign:
Paid for by No on 29 – Californians Against Out-of-Control Taxes and Spending. Major funding by Philip Morris USA and R.J. Reynolds Tobacco Company, with a coalition of taxpayers, small businesses, law enforcement and labor. 1215 K Street, Suite 2260, Sacramento, CA 95814 | 866-662-7016 |
The Zygotes are not in on this one?
This is California, thanks to St. Ronnie we get our daily abortions with avocado and sprout sandwiches on the side.
I'm having a California Wrap (Aborted fetus in spring water, sprouts, avocado, creamy chipotle dressing, all in a low fat tortilla) today for lunch.
I trust you're sharing it with a same-sex lover you may or may not be allowed to marry depending on what day this is.
Ah, so I'll be voting yes on Prop 29. One less issue to research then.
It's a pretty easy one: a $1-per-pack tax on cigarettes, the money raised going to fund cancer research. I generally don't like the ballot proposition system, but if the big tobacco companies hate this one it can't be all bad.
Look of it this way, David – now you can get decent Huevos Rancheros for breakfast in your district.
I'm always sort of amazed when crackers complain about the flood of immigrants in their midst. What? You hate food that is flavored with more than salt? Is that the issue?
Right – as if the world was holding a revolver to their heads saying "EAT!!"
As far as I'm concerned, the food of immigrants is another good reason to stay alive.
It might be the only one, actually. The only way that I can visit my relatives in Saskatchewan is by reminding myself that there is some good curry to be found there.
I'm always bemused by that in Tucson. People who hate Mexicans are more than likely to live in a hacienda-style house, decorated in day-glo colors and fake-antique-Mexican furniture that came from across the border, and they dine out almost exclusively in Mexican restaurants. But, my God, make sure you always refer to South Tucson as a "ghetto" and assume you will immediately be carjacked by a gang-banger if you venture half-a-mile south of the U of A.
Great news for John Boehner! No more competition for the house cloakroom tanning lamp.
Meanwhile, Mitch the Gay Turtle McConnell and Lady Lindsey are still hiding in the cloakroom.
Somewhere.
~
Ugh. Up comes my supper.
You say "cloakroom", I read "cruising ground".
Bruce Wayne and Superman were bachelors too!
And The Jeebis?
Superman, I can understand since his ejaculations probably shot through walls and plumbing when he jerked off as a teen growing up. (I know ladies like it hard, but JESUS!)
Doro…The Exploder?
I live in Dandy Dave's district-it's incredibly gerrymandered. Also, much of is was Nixon's old district.
Cheetah could have gotten elected to congress in that district with a "R" next to his name.
But, times change….
Gay republican is like saying "hitler loving jew".
But way more common.
NEEDS MOAR SHIRTLESS IN BATHROOM MIRROR.
Pinal County, Arizona Sheriff Paul Babeu can give him some advice on getting along with Mexicans while in office.
And Pinases.
Maybe he'll become a staffer or lobbyist working under Lindsey on probing issues of the day?
Lindsey Graham just cleared his schedule.
Pish-tush! I should think it would be a mere matter of praying away the ghey. Closet fairies surely should be made of sterner stuff!
Bo Derek loves horses. Just to clarify.
She also starred in Ghosts Can't Do It. Just to clarify further.
In a totally platonic way, though, right?
second only to Rep. Dana Rohrabacher for Rumors of Ghey
So Aaron Schock is what, chopped liver?
I know, right? He's DL-er than snake poop these days.
Him and Crist getting a bachelor pad together?
A "stabbin' cabin", as it were.
Imagine the drama for bathroom mirror time.
Dana Rohrabacher is featured in the excellent documentary "Casino Jack and The United States of Money."
Highly recommended! Yes – again.
Hey, what's wrong with sex prop #29? Don't put them down before you've tried them.
Congress is losing it's best dressed congressman. But, he's not gay, dammit.
Dave no Diddley the Bo.
Dreier, chairman of the House Rules Committee, made the announcement on the House floor, citing Congress' "abysmally low approval rating."
Which may now improve with his absence from Congress…
Also, I wish I could get the image of him, Miss Lindsay Graham, and Larry Craig out of my mind's eye…
Can't help it – that image of a House Closet has just been doing damage to my inner eyeballs – I envision a long line….
Bo Derek?
She's a renown fag hag! Why is she dating a—
Oh. Um, nevermind…
But, if all the corrupt Californian Republicans leave Congress, will we only be left with corrupt Southern Republicans?
Doro? That sounds like the sort of name you'd see on the nametag of an overweight woman with a mullet at the Home Depot checkout counter.
Maybe Ken "it was just a blow job" Calvert will go too. He is usually drunk or stealing park land or both. He may not yet know about his new district.
In addition, when you have a woman nicknamed Doro, it becomes difficult to say with certainity who in the relationship is the beard.
I hope Wonkette Jr. has some other reason for thinking that Dreier is gay besides the fact that he is a lifelong bachelor. I am a lifelong bachelor, and I have gotten 50 times more pussy and a hundred times less trouble than your average married guy. No offense to gay bachelors. I just don't like the inference.
The rumors about Dreier being gay are based on far more than his being a bachelor:
http://www.rawstory.com/exclusives/byrne/david_dr…
His anti-gay voting record was his clarion call to prove to his constituents that he does not suck dick or do the buttsecks. Typical Republican hypocrite.
He is a life-long bachelor AND a RepubliKlan Politican. Case Closed. Relax, Rupert; methinks you doth protest too much…
Fuck you, ttommy–but not in the ass.
Sorry, butch, I'm straight; but thanks anyway. Nice to be wanted at my age, even by you, sweetcheeks.
In fairness, David is retiring to spend more time with his lover's penis.
I notice the word "cancer" under his name and pix. Of the ass, I hope.
Leave his closet? And seperate him from his fabulous shoe collection? Y'all are history's greatest monsters. Seperating a man from his shoes, what an abomination. Am I right, fella's?
**crickets**
What's even worse is my last snark referred to hai karate and fresca.
<Waves McCain>
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