Now that Mitt Romney has barely managed to win his abandoned “home state” of Michigan, we can get back to marveling at his weird millionaire android interactions with the common folk who make up the Republican base. For example, Mitt also enjoys NASCAR race car crashes, because he visited that NASCAR track and made his hilarious comment about having “some great friends who are NASCAR team owners.” But then he turned into mean Mitt Romney, the vulture capitalist who openly mocks the working class. Approaching a group of poor people covered in cheap plastic rain ponchos to shield them from the deluge, Mitt laughed and said, “I like those fancy raincoats you bought. Really sprung for the big bucks.”
The New York Times provides the comical details from Daytona:
Mr. Romney’s Florida trip might have seemed like an odd, if confident, detour from states that will be voting on Tuesday. But Michigan has an ample share of Nascar fans. And the campaign hoped that images of Mr. Romney at the speedway would circulate widely through the Southern states that vote on March 6.
But the crowd initially booed Mr. Romney, who occasionally struck a discordant note, as when he approached a group of fans wearing plastic ponchos. “I like those fancy raincoats you bought,” he said. “Really sprung for the big bucks.”
Then Mitt praised the hillbillies for “those terrific novelty-gag teeth for Halloween” and flew away on his chartered jet, never to return. [New York Times via Nerve.com]
{ 199 comments }
I anxiously await his put downs of the elderly voters of America.
"What, ALPO? You could at least go upscale and eat the Mighty Dog, like we fed my dad when he no longer could tell the difference."
G7
quit your bellyaching bub
C
saying you can't afford your grub
F
saying a dollar ain't a dollar no more
G
tell me buddy what's new
G7
can't afford to buy bread no more
C
well this ain't a charity store
F
you say your kid's are hungry too
G
well it's good news for you
Chorus!
F
you can eat dog food!
C
you really ought to try it!
G
you can fricassee it!
C
you can deep fry it!
F
flip it on over!
C
eat it any way!
G
eat along with rover,
C
3 times a day!
it comes in a bag or a can
just the meal for a working man
if you're down on your luck just now
it'll get you through the day
if you eat in the afternoon
you're gonna feel like baying at the moon
but you're complaining too soon
this is all I gotta say!
chorus:
you can eat dog food!
you really ought to try it!
you can fricassee it!
you can deep fry it!
flip it on over! cook it any way!
eat along with rover, 3 times a day!
find yourself a little vacant lot
clean the garbage from a little spot
light a fire let the coals get hot
ask the neighbors in!
you can open up a can or two
make patties like the swell folks do
have yourself a little barbecue
and let the fun begin!
chorus and out.
Bill or Jake???
Austin Lounge Lizards—
The "food" the momos store for Armageddon is basically monkey chow anyway.
"Those Hoverounds are so déclassé, the elderly should consider something made by Jaguar instead."
But then they'd need two: One to use while the other is in the shop.
Ow.
The definition of disaster: an English electric vehicle with an English electrical system.
On the wall of our shop (Triumph, BSA, Norton) years ago;
"It is better to light a single candle than to curse Lucas."
My Tiger T100S had a 3-way headlamp switch: dim, flicker and off(?).
Peter Mitchell, is that YOU?
"I really like those Walmart wheel chairs you're in all. Really sprung for the big bucks. I have friends who manufacture really expensive ones–in Mexico."
Nice walker. I see it has wheels. You really sprang for the big bucks.
What? you couldn't afford two tennis balls?
He's probably planning an op-ed that calls for an immediate end to Medicare and the reduction of social security checks by half. You know, to help old folks by making them more resourceful.
You know who doesn't get enough mocking these days? Polio victims.
Stop bailing out the old folks. They should be allowed to fail.
What does NASCAR and politics have in common?
You turn to the left, you're running in circles; you turn to the right, you get stonewalled; either way your life is still in the pits!
“I’m also unemployed.”
–Mitt Romney
Hopefully he will stay that way.
Makes $2400 an hour while unemployed.
He should really shut up.
On the bright side, there are rumors of secret momo self-flagellation rituals.
Just the slashing stuff in the temple. http://www.exmormon.org.
Mitt – they bought those raincoats for the expected shitstorm of condescension you were bringing.
Maybe they confused Mitt with Rick and didn't wanna get any on them?….
The rubes know a Gallagher show when they see one.
The NASCAR fans were most likely repiglicans, so their wet dream is to dance before their masters.
"Poncho" seems kind of Messicany.
Your move, Scrooge.
I wish Romney's dad had worn his raincoat.
That's a violation of freedom of religion…somehow.
"Oh no, Mr. Romney – this isn't a raincoat – it's my house."
"Then why are you spending your hard-earned dollar at a NASCAR event? You voted for Obama in the last election, didn't you? Didn't you, you little punk…?!"
"Please don't hit me with your cane!"
In my head this is being said in Kenneth Parcell's voice
"I remember school! That's where they taught us the dangers of book learnin'!"
Did they Photoshop the "colored folks" in to that pic?
My thoughts exactly. Not only do they not fit the NASCAR profile, but NASCAR and Romney supporters?!!! GTFO.
Not actually from NASCAR – that's a photo from earlier in the campaign, where Romney somehow hijacked an event that African Americans were already attending (not sure what – maybe a Tyler Perry movie? Because I just can't see any person of color getting that excited near Mitt).
The closest one had just lifted his wallet, that's why they were cheering.
Thanks, BB. It's good to know that I am not living in Bizzaro World or some shit.
They's jus' there lookin' fo' some of them boot straps they keeps hearin' they can pull theyselves up by.
You can't see the chains on their ankles?
The 'colored folk' were there collecting empty bottles. Do you know how much you can haul in after one day of NASCAR?
Us cullud folks tend to know down to the penny.
It's fun watching the GOP candidates falling all over themselves to see who can be the biggest asshole. It'll play well in the general election when they'll be pandering to millions of of less insane voters that aren't members of the brainless dipshit party.
Can't imagine it getting any better than seeing these asshats accusing each other of being more in support for the auto industry bailouts then themselves, while campaigning in Michigan.
My hilarity meter pegged months ago.
Mittens then added, "Hufafafafafafa."
He's one of us, he enjoys sport.
"Tally Ho mutha fuckers!"
Like the presidential candidate in the 10k suit isn't going to make fun of cheap rain ponchos. C'Mon!
Is that a Sears poncho?
Anyone else get the impression that the Mittbott is running Windows ME?
(Get it? ME? Like "me"? 'Cause he's a selfish, entitled, out-of-touch prick who crashes a lot and … oh, neverfuckingmind.)
BLUE LIGHT FLASHING
Google is "celebrating" leap day by leaping over yer favorite googling of all santorum. Moar on this dastardly algorithm spin at the teh Stranger.
Oh noes, oh noes
/ staggers off weeping
Totally fuxxored! I can't find spreadingsantorum anywhere!
Don't be fucking evil, google!
i did my part.
assholes.
I actually noticed that the other night when I was showing a friend the Santorum website; she had never seen it. I was, all, "It's the first search result!" And she was, like, "No, it's the last one on the first page."
This is a little off-topic, but did you know that Tony Robbins and Bart Stupak are both bissextile?
So is Antonio Sabato Jr. FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP.
Bissextile Day is the day after Feb 23.
/nerd
Technically, it was the 25th, until 1970. You're thinking of the Vigil, not the feast of St Matthias.
/nerdier
I'm just going by the numbering I've learned, which slips a. d. bis VI kal. Mar. between a. d. VII kal. Mar. (Feb 23) and a. d. VI kal. Mar. (Regifugium/old school Matthias).
I did not know that!
Did you know many members of the US House and Senate practice nepotism? With their own families!
Some of them are related to thespians! Fred Thompson is actually an old thespian himself!
Ckovh:
Some people say Fred Thompson is a sexigenarian!
But do they have nice raincoats?
And the reigning king of crass is…..
Is Mittens a crasswhole?
"My wife owns several Prada raincoats!"
What a coincidence! I'm wearing a Pravda raincoat.
Um, no wait. It's the Washington Times. Well, same thing.
He then gave everyone in the crowd pink slips, because he thought they went so well with the ponchos.
Oh, Thurston Howell, you are such a card!
In Mitt World there's only 2 classes of people. "Us" and "The Help".
I could totally see Romney's maids feeding him a poop cake.
Mitt was thrown because none of the fans had their manservants holding umbrellas over their heads.
Those hillbillies should have kicked him in his fancy nuts.
Very Important Stuff that was dead-threaded because Wonkette Jr. obviously hates straight, middle-aged White Guys.
Primo quotes:
"it is inevitable the next president of the United States will be … Mitt Romney," said Arizona Sen. John McCain
"This has been a fun ride, and it's only just beginning," Romney's Arizona campaign co-chairman
…fewer than one in 10 voters were Hispanic, and political watchers said many voters here have grown weary of the rhetoric…
[Yeah, it's the rhetoric]
Jennifer Korn, executive director of the Republican-funded Hispanic Leadership Network.
"I think that there will be a lot more discussion in a more rational tone when it comes to the general election…"
Read more: http://azstarnet.com/news/local/govt-and-politics….
Latinos didn't vote in the Arizona primary because it was chimichanga night.
The sad thing is that those ponchos were the only clothes they could afford, they were naked underneath.
When it comes to sexytime, vinyl just doesn't hold up like neoprene.
Ponchos are the new barrels!
Those ponchos, they're perfect for wrapping weighted corpses of smug politicians and throwing them into a Florida swamp.
C'mon! Think of ol' ma nature. Those things take forever to break down…if ever. You can't go wrong with old school canvas.
Truly a man of the people and by people I mean other exceedingly rich motherfuckers.
What an ass.
Succinct and to the point.
COTD worthy.
You never know, he may be mistaking the plastic ponchos for some kind of designer Italian patent leather thing he saw while thumbing through his wife's copy of Elle while he was on the can.
Mitt's new campaign slogan of "go fuck yourselves, poor people!" is refreshingly honest or the Republican attitudes at least.
Perhaps he should have pressed on and tried to turn the situation into an opportunity to press his talking points by noting to the NASCAR-billies that if "that Obama had his way those ponchos would be required by the government to be flame retardant and then you wouldn't be able to afford them at all. I won't do that to you. I'll make sure that a steady flow of impossibly cheap crap from China will always be available to fashion conscious poors."
I can't be bothered with this on Wednesday. I am endeavoring to get my Smokey on!
"Hey there! You don't sweat much for a big ol' fat gal."
"Show me uh your uh——-cleanest dirty Jeff Gordon shirt"
"That Betty Boop tattoo is just the perfect size!"
"I like NASCAR: the people are just the right stupid, the people are just the right poorness, the seats have seats…"
"All the cars have tires! Didn't expect that…"
Getting into the spirit of the thing, Mittens was later heard to yell, "Show us your tits!"
Only to be embarrassed to realize he was yelling at Newt Gingrich.
And yet they will all vote for him in November, because, you know…
with pols like him…who needs comedians?
Memo to Romney campaign: DON'T let this guy near a birthday party. You KNOW he's going to say something about letting them eat their cake.
I see you're driving a 1993 Ford Escort. Did you buy it new?
"My family's owned many shares of Ford Motor Company over the years."
But what about the trees, Mitt?!!! I wanna know what you think of the FL trees!!!!
Hey I'll bet you guys $10,000 you didn't know this-
Mitt Romney is a rich condescending Asshole to everyone he talks to…
Oh, you heard… OK… never mind
The Devil went to Georgia……well maybe not…but he's on his fucking way!
Actually, he left. He heard Ole Newt was "coming home" and didn't want the competition.
Stay crassy, Mittens.
Are you Japanese, by chance?
I have been known to turn Japanese on occasion.
My wife had a little Italian in her once.
I believe that in the above-referenced photograph, candidate Romney was attempting to lead the audience in a rousing rendition of Stephen Foster's great hit song, "De Camptown Races."
And was disappointed when they broke into:
"I get no kick from champagne,
and alcohol doesn’t thrill me at all,
but I get a belt out of you…."
Hold it! What the hell is that shit?
What in The
White, WhiteWide, Wide World of Sports is going on down here?De Camptown Ladies? Doo-dah, doo-dah?
His favorite cologne is Eau de Doo-da-day.
I knew it, Mitt's a London Fog man.
Mittens is really a dumbfuck isn't he? Holy shit, how stupid can you be to say something like that to the guys who spent their entire life savings on tickets to this hillbilly-fest.
My wife owns two Ponchos, they're her poolboy and gardener.
To marry a rich guy and fuck the poolboy and/or gardner on the side is the American dream. Or at least my dream.
Or to marry a rich guy and fuck the methhead stud you met it rehab on the side.
To own and operate your own Newark sex motel, is what we all dream of.
Releasing your own celebrity sex tape – truly the American Dream.
Why doesn't Triumph the Insult Comic Dog enter the GOP contest? He may not get a lot of votes, but he'll never run short of material.
Because Santorum has the POOP vote locked up.
"The poors, for me to poop on!"
"I don't care about the poors."
Checkmate, insult dog!
Cheap, plastic material.
"What's with those torn tennis balls on the legs of that walker thing you're using to get around? Can't you afford a fancy wheelchair or something?"
Mitt is just keeping the proud Republican tradition of snark alive. I think it was Lincoln who chided a group of Andersonville survivors to not believe the old adage that you can’t be too rich or too thin.
And you know what? All these ignorant, brainwashed crackers will STILL vote for this asshole.
What can they do? He's the only white guy in the race.
But first, they'll make him dance.
ONLY FOR MULATTOES.
I'm not one to give Mitt credit but…….SLAM! He zinged those red-necks good.
Mitt used to have a number of those cheap plastic ponchos that he used for the servants who carry him to and fro in his sedan chair. But he recently bought 'em all Helly Hansen gear. They really look spiffy. Of course the cost came out of their salaries.
“I like those fancy raincoats you bought. Really sprung for the big bucks.”
How did he keep from adding "I see you all had enough left for your natty lites and smokes"?
Is that a real poncho? I mean is that a Mexican poncho or a Sears poncho? Hmm. No fooling?
Well, he does rule the toads of the short forest, and every Newt in idaho
Who you jiving with that cosmic debris?
I want to believe the people in the raincoats told him to ram up it up his snout.
Maybe be moving to Montana soon?
APOSTROPHE LIBEL !!!1!11!
You can't turn the volume up high enough for that album. I heard Dweezil and the ZPZ group play that all the way through in December 2010 and it was incredible. Listened to it last night after abandoning the political BS for the night.
Yes. That's Erik Estrada, wearing a fancy rain-clothes.
Mitt opens his mouth to speak, and everyone associated with him in any way winces in anticipation.
Rich douche bag can't help himself from making douche bag comments – film at 11.
I know. Wait until he wins the nomination and starts calling Obama an "elitist".
Like GHWB, bewildered and amazed by a supermarket checkout line.
Did no one in the crowd shout back, "Fuck you, asshole!" – not even one person?
Nascar fans are nothing if not polite. Especially in Florida. They say "bless your heart" instead.
Hard to make the "F" sound when you don't have your dentures in.
Is this on tape? If so, Mittens can kiss Super Tuesday goodbye…
He's just trying to come across as your average guy, who is a jerk. Jerks are people too, my friends!
Mitt to homeless man: "I like your refrigerator box! A GE! You really sprung for the big bucks!"
Wait 'til this summer when he meets his "base" riding their government funded Hoverounds and wearing their flip flops, stained t-shirts with the sleeves cut off and pajama pants.
exactly.
If two NASCAR fans get divorced are they still technically first cousins?
First cousins once removed.
Looking forward to seeing him at Sturgis.
Why wait? Daytona Bike Week starts next week!
Sez Mitt: "This nascar sport of yours reminds me ever so much of racing my J Boat in the Catalina Regatta! Huzzah!"
Oh, Catalina is so declasse, don't you think – Newport is where all the swells are.
What's he going to do when this is all over and he's lost? Run AGAIN?
Romney 2016/2020/2024!
"This anonymous clan of slack-jawed troglodytes has cost me the election, and yet if I were to have them killed, I would be the one to go to jail. That's democracy for you."
Those weren't cheap plastic raincoats, Mittens.
Those were extra large condoms.
Don't tell Santorum.
Drinking Budweiser, huh? What's the matter, you didn't have a coupon for Dom Perignon?
"Romney Squeezes Out Santorum in Michigan."
And that's all I need to know about that!
Mittens doesn't actually own a raincoat.
He just pays God to stop the rain.
Mitt's campaign staff will have to thoroughly screen Mitt's audience during his campaign stops to make sure he has no contacts with Real 'Murcans. They should be required to show their tax returns at the gate to ensure they represent the top 1% who can afford the finest French couture rain gear.
"I really like that cane with the red tip. Are those Foster Grants you're wearing?"
Mitt's poncho is actually a real mescan named "Poncho" who personally wipes down Mitt when he briefly leaves his limo.
"My, your hands are rough and red, why don't you step up to Palmolive dishwashing liquid?!" "Say, what do you, work for a living? I'll bet that sucks big time!" "Look, I'm not going to bullshit you. I'm fucking rich. Which means I must know something you don't, right? Otherwise YOU'D be the rich one, am I right? So just accept that a vote for your betters is a vote for what you might become if you keep buying those lotto tickets." "I disagree. Those who say you're old and in the way are out of touch with America. Now if you'll just step aside there, I think that's my driver, good luck with that medicine!"
well i don't know about any of this, but if mittens shows up on 'revenge' ima quit watching.
Similarly, he teases his rent boys on the cheap brands of condoms they prefer.
i also heard the tequilla party woman on npr last night discussing the election. she said the republicans have a huge problem in AZ (much bigger than 2008 and in the southwest in general) and she thinks there's a good chance the state will go blue in november.
warmed my heart and certainly more accurate than anything that might be a product of mccain's fevered brain.
You know, it's possible that Mittens wasn't being a condescending elitist asshole, but actually really did think that ponchos are fancy raincoats, in keeping with the other half of his persona, the hopelessly out-of-touch defective pander-robot.
mitt mitt mitt, rule number one:
1.A robot may not injure a human being or, through inaction, allow a human being to come to harm.
"Really sprung for the big bucks.”
To "spring for" is to "buy."
"big bucks" is a great deal of "money."
You can't buy money, Mitt. Oh wait. Bain Capital. Never mind.
And then he kicked a puppy.
To be fair, that was not done out of cruelty. He was tenderizing the meat.
Can't this guy just go back to polishing his monocles?
I went through 11 pages without seeing it. Different people get different results. The conspiracy continues apace.
I would have given up long before 11 pages. Must be something in my search history.
Because I have no life, I looked again. blog.spreadingsantorum.com came in at #8. Not the same. The Urban Dictionary definition did come in at #1 though, which even makes Dan Savage squirmish.
Whatever you do, don't look up "cleveland steamer" on Urban Dictionary.
Is that a picture of Mitt with blaah people?
Once you go blah, you never go bah. And blah don't crah!
"He recalled driving (“sometimes a little fast”) up and down the streets near his home in Michigan, which he playfully likened to an illegal racetrack."
He sounds like a deviant.
"Wow, you people sure could use some dental work! You, nice hair. I didn't know Fantastic Sam's had a drive-through!"
Maddow wondered aloud on her show last night if anyone would ever be able to get Romney to stop "talking like Thurston Howell."
My World of Warcraft avatar will be a wealthy, white, male Christian crusader known far and wide for smiting impoverished wizards and Muslim orcs. At least in Azeroth Mitt Romney will love me.
LOVE ME, MITTENS!!
Dear God, please make Willard Romney lose all his money so that he may stop making abusive comments to real people with no money. Thanks and amen.
I sometimes wonder what Mittens has done to his tongue to make it hate him so.
What album is that on? I've got most of their stuff, though admittedly nothing in the last 5 or 6 years, and don't recognize that. Give me cool whip.
That would be “Strange Noises in the Dark”. Another one of my faves is on there as well – “We always fight when we drink gin”.—
OK. I went and checked their website, don't have that, my latest is Never an Adult Moment. Obviously I haven't been to a show since about '04, that's when I update my discography.
Do
you guyzthey ever come to the NW? Like the NW Folklife Fest or the Tractor tav?I had a bit too much to drink one night a few years ago and bought their entire catalog at that point. Go ahead…ask me anything about the ALL.
There's a couple west coast gigs listed. I'm sure they go just about everywhere. The only band I ever got my father to go see live. http://austinlizards.com/
Teenage Immigrant Welfare Mothers on Drugs pretty much sums up all of America's problems. (Thanks for the link)
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