WHATEVER COMMON PEOPLE DO  10:11 am February 29, 2012

Mitt Romney Mocks Poor NASCAR Fans In Plastic Rain Ponchos

by Wonkette Jr.

Ha ha, poor people.Now that Mitt Romney has barely managed to win his abandoned “home state” of Michigan, we can get back to marveling at his weird millionaire android interactions with the common folk who make up the Republican base. For example, Mitt also enjoys NASCAR race car crashes, because he visited that NASCAR track and made his hilarious comment about having “some great friends who are NASCAR team owners.” But then he turned into mean Mitt Romney, the vulture capitalist who openly mocks the working class. Approaching a group of poor people covered in cheap plastic rain ponchos to shield them from the deluge, Mitt laughed and said, “I like those fancy raincoats you bought. Really sprung for the big bucks.”

The New York Times provides the comical details from Daytona:

Mr. Romney’s Florida trip might have seemed like an odd, if confident, detour from states that will be voting on Tuesday. But Michigan has an ample share of Nascar fans. And the campaign hoped that images of Mr. Romney at the speedway would circulate widely through the Southern states that vote on March 6.

But the crowd initially booed Mr. Romney, who occasionally struck a discordant note, as when he approached a group of fans wearing plastic ponchos. “I like those fancy raincoats you bought,” he said. “Really sprung for the big bucks.”

Then Mitt praised the hillbillies for “those terrific novelty-gag teeth for Halloween” and flew away on his chartered jet, never to return. [New York Times via Nerve.com]

 
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{ 199 comments }

nounverb911 February 29, 2012 at 10:55 am

I anxiously await his put downs of the elderly voters of America.

BaldarTFlagass February 29, 2012 at 11:03 am

"What, ALPO? You could at least go upscale and eat the Mighty Dog, like we fed my dad when he no longer could tell the difference."

Dashboard Buddha February 29, 2012 at 11:12 am

G7
quit your bellyaching bub
C
saying you can't afford your grub
F
saying a dollar ain't a dollar no more
G
tell me buddy what's new
G7
can't afford to buy bread no more
C
well this ain't a charity store
F
you say your kid's are hungry too
G
well it's good news for you

Chorus!
F
you can eat dog food!
C
you really ought to try it!
G
you can fricassee it!
C
you can deep fry it!
F
flip it on over!
C
eat it any way!
G
eat along with rover,
C
3 times a day!

it comes in a bag or a can
just the meal for a working man
if you're down on your luck just now
it'll get you through the day

if you eat in the afternoon
you're gonna feel like baying at the moon
but you're complaining too soon
this is all I gotta say!

chorus:
you can eat dog food!
you really ought to try it!
you can fricassee it!
you can deep fry it!
flip it on over! cook it any way!
eat along with rover, 3 times a day!

find yourself a little vacant lot
clean the garbage from a little spot
light a fire let the coals get hot
ask the neighbors in!

you can open up a can or two
make patties like the swell folks do
have yourself a little barbecue
and let the fun begin!

chorus and out.

weej_bain February 29, 2012 at 11:22 am

Bill or Jake???

Dashboard Buddha February 29, 2012 at 11:27 am

Austin Lounge Lizards—

CessnaDriver February 29, 2012 at 1:39 pm

The "food" the momos store for Armageddon is basically monkey chow anyway.

chascates February 29, 2012 at 11:05 am

"Those Hoverounds are so déclassé, the elderly should consider something made by Jaguar instead."

Geminisunmars February 29, 2012 at 12:18 pm

But then they'd need two: One to use while the other is in the shop.

FROTHY March 1, 2012 at 12:55 am

Ow.

CessnaDriver February 29, 2012 at 1:42 pm

The definition of disaster: an English electric vehicle with an English electrical system.

James Michael Curley February 29, 2012 at 3:35 pm

On the wall of our shop (Triumph, BSA, Norton) years ago;

"It is better to light a single candle than to curse Lucas."

yyyaz February 29, 2012 at 5:08 pm

My Tiger T100S had a 3-way headlamp switch: dim, flicker and off(?).

FROTHY March 1, 2012 at 12:55 am

Peter Mitchell, is that YOU?

Dudleydidwrong February 29, 2012 at 11:14 am

"I really like those Walmart wheel chairs you're in all. Really sprung for the big bucks. I have friends who manufacture really expensive ones–in Mexico."

actor212 February 29, 2012 at 11:39 am

Nice walker. I see it has wheels. You really sprang for the big bucks.

CessnaDriver February 29, 2012 at 1:42 pm

What? you couldn't afford two tennis balls?

Terry February 29, 2012 at 12:11 pm

He's probably planning an op-ed that calls for an immediate end to Medicare and the reduction of social security checks by half. You know, to help old folks by making them more resourceful.

GOPCrusher February 29, 2012 at 12:18 pm

You know who doesn't get enough mocking these days? Polio victims.

Geminisunmars February 29, 2012 at 12:20 pm

Stop bailing out the old folks. They should be allowed to fail.

Barb February 29, 2012 at 10:55 am

What does NASCAR and politics have in common?
You turn to the left, you're running in circles; you turn to the right, you get stonewalled; either way your life is still in the pits!

nounverb911 February 29, 2012 at 10:57 am

“I’m also unemployed.”
–Mitt Romney

Hopefully he will stay that way.

CessnaDriver February 29, 2012 at 1:44 pm

Makes $2400 an hour while unemployed.

He should really shut up.

On the bright side, there are rumors of secret momo self-flagellation rituals.

FROTHY March 1, 2012 at 12:57 am

Just the slashing stuff in the temple. http://www.exmormon.org.

Trannysurprise February 29, 2012 at 10:58 am

Mitt – they bought those raincoats for the expected shitstorm of condescension you were bringing.

chicken_thief February 29, 2012 at 11:17 am

Maybe they confused Mitt with Rick and didn't wanna get any on them?….

Biff February 29, 2012 at 11:33 am

The rubes know a Gallagher show when they see one.

CessnaDriver February 29, 2012 at 1:44 pm

The NASCAR fans were most likely repiglicans, so their wet dream is to dance before their masters.

Sue4466 February 29, 2012 at 10:58 am

"Poncho" seems kind of Messicany.

UnholyMoses February 29, 2012 at 10:59 am

Your move, Scrooge.

KeepFnThatChicken February 29, 2012 at 11:00 am

I wish Romney's dad had worn his raincoat.

Fare la Volpe February 29, 2012 at 12:19 pm

That's a violation of freedom of religion…somehow.

neiltheblaze February 29, 2012 at 11:00 am

"Oh no, Mr. Romney – this isn't a raincoat – it's my house."

KeepFnThatChicken February 29, 2012 at 11:14 am

"Then why are you spending your hard-earned dollar at a NASCAR event? You voted for Obama in the last election, didn't you? Didn't you, you little punk…?!"

neiltheblaze February 29, 2012 at 12:44 pm

"Please don't hit me with your cane!"

CivicHoliday February 29, 2012 at 1:13 pm

In my head this is being said in Kenneth Parcell's voice

CessnaDriver February 29, 2012 at 1:46 pm

"I remember school! That's where they taught us the dangers of book learnin'!"

freakishlywrong February 29, 2012 at 11:00 am

Did they Photoshop the "colored folks" in to that pic?

chicken_thief February 29, 2012 at 11:11 am

My thoughts exactly. Not only do they not fit the NASCAR profile, but NASCAR and Romney supporters?!!! GTFO.

BerkeleyBear February 29, 2012 at 11:24 am

Not actually from NASCAR – that's a photo from earlier in the campaign, where Romney somehow hijacked an event that African Americans were already attending (not sure what – maybe a Tyler Perry movie? Because I just can't see any person of color getting that excited near Mitt).

BaldarTFlagass February 29, 2012 at 11:28 am

The closest one had just lifted his wallet, that's why they were cheering.

chicken_thief February 29, 2012 at 11:45 am

Thanks, BB. It's good to know that I am not living in Bizzaro World or some shit.

flamingpdog February 29, 2012 at 11:28 am

They's jus' there lookin' fo' some of them boot straps they keeps hearin' they can pull theyselves up by.

actor212 February 29, 2012 at 11:40 am

You can't see the chains on their ankles?

An_Outhouse February 29, 2012 at 12:34 pm

The 'colored folk' were there collecting empty bottles. Do you know how much you can haul in after one day of NASCAR?

FROTHY March 1, 2012 at 1:00 am

Us cullud folks tend to know down to the penny.

Oblios_Cap February 29, 2012 at 11:00 am

It's fun watching the GOP candidates falling all over themselves to see who can be the biggest asshole. It'll play well in the general election when they'll be pandering to millions of of less insane voters that aren't members of the brainless dipshit party.

GOPCrusher February 29, 2012 at 12:23 pm

Can't imagine it getting any better than seeing these asshats accusing each other of being more in support for the auto industry bailouts then themselves, while campaigning in Michigan.

starfanglednut February 29, 2012 at 12:51 pm

My hilarity meter pegged months ago.

SexySmurf February 29, 2012 at 11:00 am

Mittens then added, "Hufafafafafafa."

freakishlywrong February 29, 2012 at 11:01 am

He's one of us, he enjoys sport.

DaRooster February 29, 2012 at 11:27 am

"Tally Ho mutha fuckers!"

tihond February 29, 2012 at 11:01 am

Like the presidential candidate in the 10k suit isn't going to make fun of cheap rain ponchos. C'Mon!

FROTHY March 1, 2012 at 1:00 am

Is that a Sears poncho?

UnholyMoses February 29, 2012 at 11:01 am

Anyone else get the impression that the Mittbott is running Windows ME?

(Get it? ME? Like "me"? 'Cause he's a selfish, entitled, out-of-touch prick who crashes a lot and … oh, neverfuckingmind.)

weej_bain February 29, 2012 at 11:02 am

BLUE LIGHT FLASHING

Google is "celebrating" leap day by leaping over yer favorite googling of all santorum. Moar on this dastardly algorithm spin at the teh Stranger.

Oh noes, oh noes
/ staggers off weeping

Biff February 29, 2012 at 11:44 am

Totally fuxxored! I can't find spreadingsantorum anywhere!
Don't be fucking evil, google!

fuflans February 29, 2012 at 12:20 pm

i did my part.

assholes.

anniegetyerfun February 29, 2012 at 4:25 pm

I actually noticed that the other night when I was showing a friend the Santorum website; she had never seen it. I was, all, "It's the first search result!" And she was, like, "No, it's the last one on the first page."

Spurning Beer February 29, 2012 at 11:02 am

This is a little off-topic, but did you know that Tony Robbins and Bart Stupak are both bissextile?

elviouslyqueer February 29, 2012 at 11:18 am

So is Antonio Sabato Jr. FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP.

Guppy February 29, 2012 at 11:43 am

Bissextile Day is the day after Feb 23.

/nerd

actor212 February 29, 2012 at 12:06 pm

Technically, it was the 25th, until 1970. You're thinking of the Vigil, not the feast of St Matthias.

/nerdier

Guppy February 29, 2012 at 12:13 pm

I'm just going by the numbering I've learned, which slips a. d. bis VI kal. Mar. between a. d. VII kal. Mar. (Feb 23) and a. d. VI kal. Mar. (Regifugium/old school Matthias).

Tundra Grifter February 29, 2012 at 12:03 pm

I did not know that!

Did you know many members of the US House and Senate practice nepotism? With their own families!

Chichikovovich February 29, 2012 at 12:23 pm

Some of them are related to thespians! Fred Thompson is actually an old thespian himself!

Tundra Grifter February 29, 2012 at 12:42 pm

Ckovh:

Some people say Fred Thompson is a sexigenarian!

Barrelhse February 29, 2012 at 12:31 pm

But do they have nice raincoats?

RadioCualquier February 29, 2012 at 11:03 am

And the reigning king of crass is…..

Tundra Grifter February 29, 2012 at 12:43 pm

Is Mittens a crasswhole?

Chillwillard February 29, 2012 at 11:03 am

"My wife owns several Prada raincoats!"

Chichikovovich February 29, 2012 at 12:25 pm

What a coincidence! I'm wearing a Pravda raincoat.

Um, no wait. It's the Washington Times. Well, same thing.

Mahousu February 29, 2012 at 11:03 am

He then gave everyone in the crowd pink slips, because he thought they went so well with the ponchos.

chascates February 29, 2012 at 11:03 am

Oh, Thurston Howell, you are such a card!

Joshua Norton February 29, 2012 at 11:03 am

In Mitt World there's only 2 classes of people. "Us" and "The Help".

Fare la Volpe February 29, 2012 at 12:23 pm

I could totally see Romney's maids feeding him a poop cake.

PuckStopsHere February 29, 2012 at 11:05 am

Mitt was thrown because none of the fans had their manservants holding umbrellas over their heads.

freakishlywrong February 29, 2012 at 11:05 am

Those hillbillies should have kicked him in his fancy nuts.

Blueb4sunrise February 29, 2012 at 11:05 am

Very Important Stuff that was dead-threaded because Wonkette Jr. obviously hates straight, middle-aged White Guys.

Primo quotes:

"it is inevitable the next president of the United States will be … Mitt Romney," said Arizona Sen. John McCain

"This has been a fun ride, and it's only just beginning," Romney's Arizona campaign co-chairman

…fewer than one in 10 voters were Hispanic, and political watchers said many voters here have grown weary of the rhetoric…

[Yeah, it's the rhetoric]

Jennifer Korn, executive director of the Republican-funded Hispanic Leadership Network.
"I think that there will be a lot more discussion in a more rational tone when it comes to the general election…"

Read more: http://azstarnet.com/news/local/govt-and-politics….

Gainsbourg69 February 29, 2012 at 2:17 pm

Latinos didn't vote in the Arizona primary because it was chimichanga night.

BaldarTFlagass February 29, 2012 at 11:06 am

The sad thing is that those ponchos were the only clothes they could afford, they were naked underneath.

Biff February 29, 2012 at 11:48 am

When it comes to sexytime, vinyl just doesn't hold up like neoprene.

IceCreamEmpress February 29, 2012 at 1:14 pm

Ponchos are the new barrels!

slowhansolo February 29, 2012 at 11:06 am

Those ponchos, they're perfect for wrapping weighted corpses of smug politicians and throwing them into a Florida swamp.

Dashboard Buddha February 29, 2012 at 11:07 am

C'mon! Think of ol' ma nature. Those things take forever to break down…if ever. You can't go wrong with old school canvas.

ThundercatHo February 29, 2012 at 11:08 am

Truly a man of the people and by people I mean other exceedingly rich motherfuckers.

Dr_Zoidberg February 29, 2012 at 11:08 am

What an ass.

GOPCrusher February 29, 2012 at 12:26 pm

Succinct and to the point.
COTD worthy.

johnnyzhivago February 29, 2012 at 11:08 am

You never know, he may be mistaking the plastic ponchos for some kind of designer Italian patent leather thing he saw while thumbing through his wife's copy of Elle while he was on the can.

SorosBot February 29, 2012 at 11:08 am

Mitt's new campaign slogan of "go fuck yourselves, poor people!" is refreshingly honest or the Republican attitudes at least.

Ruhe February 29, 2012 at 11:55 am

Perhaps he should have pressed on and tried to turn the situation into an opportunity to press his talking points by noting to the NASCAR-billies that if "that Obama had his way those ponchos would be required by the government to be flame retardant and then you wouldn't be able to afford them at all. I won't do that to you. I'll make sure that a steady flow of impossibly cheap crap from China will always be available to fashion conscious poors."

jus_wonderin February 29, 2012 at 11:09 am

I can't be bothered with this on Wednesday. I am endeavoring to get my Smokey on!

lefty74 February 29, 2012 at 11:09 am

"Hey there! You don't sweat much for a big ol' fat gal."
"Show me uh your uh——-cleanest dirty Jeff Gordon shirt"
"That Betty Boop tattoo is just the perfect size!"

actor212 February 29, 2012 at 12:02 pm

"I like NASCAR: the people are just the right stupid, the people are just the right poorness, the seats have seats…"

KeepFnThatChicken February 29, 2012 at 12:11 pm

"All the cars have tires! Didn't expect that…"

PuckStopsHere February 29, 2012 at 11:12 am

Getting into the spirit of the thing, Mittens was later heard to yell, "Show us your tits!"

BerkeleyBear February 29, 2012 at 11:27 am

Only to be embarrassed to realize he was yelling at Newt Gingrich.

edgydrifter February 29, 2012 at 11:13 am

And yet they will all vote for him in November, because, you know…

WiscDad February 29, 2012 at 11:13 am

with pols like him…who needs comedians?

johnnyzhivago February 29, 2012 at 11:15 am

Memo to Romney campaign: DON'T let this guy near a birthday party. You KNOW he's going to say something about letting them eat their cake.

SpiderCrab February 29, 2012 at 11:15 am

I see you're driving a 1993 Ford Escort. Did you buy it new?

Chichikovovich February 29, 2012 at 12:28 pm

"My family's owned many shares of Ford Motor Company over the years."

chicken_thief February 29, 2012 at 11:15 am

But what about the trees, Mitt?!!! I wanna know what you think of the FL trees!!!!

DaRooster February 29, 2012 at 11:17 am

Hey I'll bet you guys $10,000 you didn't know this-
Mitt Romney is a rich condescending Asshole to everyone he talks to…

Oh, you heard… OK… never mind

meatlofer February 29, 2012 at 11:19 am

The Devil went to Georgia……well maybe not…but he's on his fucking way!

Tundra Grifter February 29, 2012 at 12:06 pm

Actually, he left. He heard Ole Newt was "coming home" and didn't want the competition.

widestanceromance February 29, 2012 at 11:20 am

Stay crassy, Mittens.

Barrelhse February 29, 2012 at 12:35 pm

Are you Japanese, by chance?

widestanceromance February 29, 2012 at 12:48 pm

I have been known to turn Japanese on occasion.

Barrelhse February 29, 2012 at 1:37 pm

My wife had a little Italian in her once.

MiniMencken February 29, 2012 at 11:20 am

I believe that in the above-referenced photograph, candidate Romney was attempting to lead the audience in a rousing rendition of Stephen Foster's great hit song, "De Camptown Races."

BaldarTFlagass February 29, 2012 at 11:32 am

And was disappointed when they broke into:

"I get no kick from champagne,
and alcohol doesn’t thrill me at all,
but I get a belt out of you…."

Hold it! What the hell is that shit?

Biff February 29, 2012 at 11:54 am

What in The White, White Wide, Wide World of Sports is going on down here?

MosesInvests March 1, 2012 at 12:37 am

De Camptown Ladies? Doo-dah, doo-dah?

Barrelhse February 29, 2012 at 12:37 pm

His favorite cologne is Eau de Doo-da-day.

crybabyboehner February 29, 2012 at 11:22 am

I knew it, Mitt's a London Fog man.

hagajim February 29, 2012 at 11:22 am

Mittens is really a dumbfuck isn't he? Holy shit, how stupid can you be to say something like that to the guys who spent their entire life savings on tickets to this hillbilly-fest.

MissTaken February 29, 2012 at 11:22 am

My wife owns two Ponchos, they're her poolboy and gardener.

SheriffRoscoe February 29, 2012 at 11:50 am

To marry a rich guy and fuck the poolboy and/or gardner on the side is the American dream. Or at least my dream.

SorosBot February 29, 2012 at 12:07 pm

Or to marry a rich guy and fuck the methhead stud you met it rehab on the side.

Generation[redacted] February 29, 2012 at 12:14 pm

To own and operate your own Newark sex motel, is what we all dream of.

Fare la Volpe February 29, 2012 at 12:22 pm

Releasing your own celebrity sex tape – truly the American Dream.

el_donaldo February 29, 2012 at 11:23 am

Why doesn't Triumph the Insult Comic Dog enter the GOP contest? He may not get a lot of votes, but he'll never run short of material.

actor212 February 29, 2012 at 12:01 pm

Because Santorum has the POOP vote locked up.

Generation[redacted] February 29, 2012 at 12:15 pm

"The poors, for me to poop on!"
"I don't care about the poors."

Checkmate, insult dog!

Exhausted66 February 29, 2012 at 12:34 pm

Cheap, plastic material.

OneYieldRegular February 29, 2012 at 11:23 am

"What's with those torn tennis balls on the legs of that walker thing you're using to get around? Can't you afford a fancy wheelchair or something?"

Goonemeritus February 29, 2012 at 11:24 am

Mitt is just keeping the proud Republican tradition of snark alive. I think it was Lincoln who chided a group of Andersonville survivors to not believe the old adage that you can’t be too rich or too thin.

freakishlywrong February 29, 2012 at 11:24 am

And you know what? All these ignorant, brainwashed crackers will STILL vote for this asshole.

Generation[redacted] February 29, 2012 at 11:53 am

What can they do? He's the only white guy in the race.

Biff February 29, 2012 at 11:55 am

But first, they'll make him dance.

freakishlywrong February 29, 2012 at 12:18 pm

ONLY FOR MULATTOES.

Baconzgood February 29, 2012 at 11:24 am

I'm not one to give Mitt credit but…….SLAM! He zinged those red-necks good.

Dudleydidwrong February 29, 2012 at 11:25 am

Mitt used to have a number of those cheap plastic ponchos that he used for the servants who carry him to and fro in his sedan chair. But he recently bought 'em all Helly Hansen gear. They really look spiffy. Of course the cost came out of their salaries.

SoBeach February 29, 2012 at 11:25 am

“I like those fancy raincoats you bought. Really sprung for the big bucks.”

How did he keep from adding "I see you all had enough left for your natty lites and smokes"?

Steverino247 February 29, 2012 at 11:26 am

Is that a real poncho? I mean is that a Mexican poncho or a Sears poncho? Hmm. No fooling?

BaldarTFlagass February 29, 2012 at 11:45 am

Well, he does rule the toads of the short forest, and every Newt in idaho

prommie February 29, 2012 at 12:02 pm

Who you jiving with that cosmic debris?

neiltheblaze February 29, 2012 at 12:06 pm

I want to believe the people in the raincoats told him to ram up it up his snout.

CarnyTrash February 29, 2012 at 12:24 pm

Maybe be moving to Montana soon?

GOPCrusher February 29, 2012 at 12:34 pm

APOSTROPHE LIBEL !!!1!11!

Steverino247 February 29, 2012 at 1:39 pm

You can't turn the volume up high enough for that album. I heard Dweezil and the ZPZ group play that all the way through in December 2010 and it was incredible. Listened to it last night after abandoning the political BS for the night.

Sharkey March 3, 2012 at 8:25 pm

Yes. That's Erik Estrada, wearing a fancy rain-clothes.

SheriffRoscoe February 29, 2012 at 11:28 am

Mitt opens his mouth to speak, and everyone associated with him in any way winces in anticipation.

BerkeleyBear February 29, 2012 at 11:28 am

Rich douche bag can't help himself from making douche bag comments – film at 11.

GOPCrusher February 29, 2012 at 12:35 pm

I know. Wait until he wins the nomination and starts calling Obama an "elitist".

prommie February 29, 2012 at 11:31 am

Like GHWB, bewildered and amazed by a supermarket checkout line.

johnedens February 29, 2012 at 11:31 am

Did no one in the crowd shout back, "Fuck you, asshole!" – not even one person?

Biff February 29, 2012 at 11:59 am

Nascar fans are nothing if not polite. Especially in Florida. They say "bless your heart" instead.

GOPCrusher February 29, 2012 at 12:36 pm

Hard to make the "F" sound when you don't have your dentures in.

Callyson February 29, 2012 at 11:33 am

Is this on tape? If so, Mittens can kiss Super Tuesday goodbye…

SheriffRoscoe February 29, 2012 at 11:33 am

He's just trying to come across as your average guy, who is a jerk. Jerks are people too, my friends!

actor212 February 29, 2012 at 11:37 am

Mitt to homeless man: "I like your refrigerator box! A GE! You really sprung for the big bucks!"

Eve8Apples February 29, 2012 at 11:40 am

Wait 'til this summer when he meets his "base" riding their government funded Hoverounds and wearing their flip flops, stained t-shirts with the sleeves cut off and pajama pants.

ElPinche February 29, 2012 at 11:41 am

exactly.

SnarkoMarx February 29, 2012 at 11:47 am

If two NASCAR fans get divorced are they still technically first cousins?

Fare la Volpe February 29, 2012 at 12:27 pm

First cousins once removed.

Guppy February 29, 2012 at 11:48 am

Looking forward to seeing him at Sturgis.

Biff February 29, 2012 at 12:01 pm

Why wait? Daytona Bike Week starts next week!

GortRay February 29, 2012 at 11:50 am

Sez Mitt: "This nascar sport of yours reminds me ever so much of racing my J Boat in the Catalina Regatta! Huzzah!"

BerkeleyBear February 29, 2012 at 12:00 pm

Oh, Catalina is so declasse, don't you think – Newport is where all the swells are.

yrbmegr February 29, 2012 at 11:53 am

What's he going to do when this is all over and he's lost? Run AGAIN?

Generation[redacted] February 29, 2012 at 11:54 am

Romney 2016/2020/2024!

prommie February 29, 2012 at 12:12 pm

"This anonymous clan of slack-jawed troglodytes has cost me the election, and yet if I were to have them killed, I would be the one to go to jail. That's democracy for you."

Tundra Grifter February 29, 2012 at 11:56 am

Those weren't cheap plastic raincoats, Mittens.

Those were extra large condoms.

Don't tell Santorum.

Generation[redacted] February 29, 2012 at 11:56 am

Drinking Budweiser, huh? What's the matter, you didn't have a coupon for Dom Perignon?

Tundra Grifter February 29, 2012 at 11:56 am

"Romney Squeezes Out Santorum in Michigan."

And that's all I need to know about that!

Tundra Grifter February 29, 2012 at 11:58 am

Mittens doesn't actually own a raincoat.

He just pays God to stop the rain.

Eve8Apples February 29, 2012 at 11:59 am

Mitt's campaign staff will have to thoroughly screen Mitt's audience during his campaign stops to make sure he has no contacts with Real 'Murcans. They should be required to show their tax returns at the gate to ensure they represent the top 1% who can afford the finest French couture rain gear.

proudgrampa February 29, 2012 at 12:05 pm

"I really like that cane with the red tip. Are those Foster Grants you're wearing?"

ElPinche February 29, 2012 at 12:09 pm

Mitt's poncho is actually a real mescan named "Poncho" who personally wipes down Mitt when he briefly leaves his limo.

SenileAgitation February 29, 2012 at 12:22 pm

"My, your hands are rough and red, why don't you step up to Palmolive dishwashing liquid?!" "Say, what do you, work for a living? I'll bet that sucks big time!" "Look, I'm not going to bullshit you. I'm fucking rich. Which means I must know something you don't, right? Otherwise YOU'D be the rich one, am I right? So just accept that a vote for your betters is a vote for what you might become if you keep buying those lotto tickets." "I disagree. Those who say you're old and in the way are out of touch with America. Now if you'll just step aside there, I think that's my driver, good luck with that medicine!"

fuflans February 29, 2012 at 12:24 pm

well i don't know about any of this, but if mittens shows up on 'revenge' ima quit watching.

mrblifil February 29, 2012 at 12:29 pm

Similarly, he teases his rent boys on the cheap brands of condoms they prefer.

fuflans February 29, 2012 at 12:31 pm

i also heard the tequilla party woman on npr last night discussing the election. she said the republicans have a huge problem in AZ (much bigger than 2008 and in the southwest in general) and she thinks there's a good chance the state will go blue in november.

warmed my heart and certainly more accurate than anything that might be a product of mccain's fevered brain.

Deportably_Jose February 29, 2012 at 12:33 pm

You know, it's possible that Mittens wasn't being a condescending elitist asshole, but actually really did think that ponchos are fancy raincoats, in keeping with the other half of his persona, the hopelessly out-of-touch defective pander-robot.

fuflans February 29, 2012 at 12:34 pm

mitt mitt mitt, rule number one:

1.A robot may not injure a human being or, through inaction, allow a human being to come to harm.

Exhausted66 February 29, 2012 at 12:36 pm

"Really sprung for the big bucks.”

To "spring for" is to "buy."
"big bucks" is a great deal of "money."

You can't buy money, Mitt. Oh wait. Bain Capital. Never mind.

BlueStateLibel February 29, 2012 at 12:38 pm

And then he kicked a puppy.

imissopus February 29, 2012 at 12:50 pm

To be fair, that was not done out of cruelty. He was tenderizing the meat.

grandinquisitor February 29, 2012 at 12:46 pm

Can't this guy just go back to polishing his monocles?

Biff February 29, 2012 at 1:00 pm

I went through 11 pages without seeing it. Different people get different results. The conspiracy continues apace.

not that Dewey February 29, 2012 at 1:19 pm

I would have given up long before 11 pages. Must be something in my search history.

Biff February 29, 2012 at 1:25 pm

Because I have no life, I looked again. blog.spreadingsantorum.com came in at #8. Not the same. The Urban Dictionary definition did come in at #1 though, which even makes Dan Savage squirmish.

CessnaDriver February 29, 2012 at 2:06 pm

Whatever you do, don't look up "cleveland steamer" on Urban Dictionary.

snoopyfan2010 February 29, 2012 at 1:13 pm

Is that a picture of Mitt with blaah people?

IceCreamEmpress February 29, 2012 at 1:15 pm

Once you go blah, you never go bah. And blah don't crah!

Gainsbourg69 February 29, 2012 at 2:32 pm

"He recalled driving (“sometimes a little fast”) up and down the streets near his home in Michigan, which he playfully likened to an illegal racetrack."

He sounds like a deviant.

Sassomatic February 29, 2012 at 2:35 pm

"Wow, you people sure could use some dental work! You, nice hair. I didn't know Fantastic Sam's had a drive-through!"

Jukesgrrl February 29, 2012 at 4:30 pm

Maddow wondered aloud on her show last night if anyone would ever be able to get Romney to stop "talking like Thurston Howell."

valthemus February 29, 2012 at 7:30 pm

My World of Warcraft avatar will be a wealthy, white, male Christian crusader known far and wide for smiting impoverished wizards and Muslim orcs. At least in Azeroth Mitt Romney will love me.

LOVE ME, MITTENS!!

Birdwatcher1 February 29, 2012 at 7:59 pm

Dear God, please make Willard Romney lose all his money so that he may stop making abusive comments to real people with no money. Thanks and amen.

ttommyunger February 29, 2012 at 10:57 pm

I sometimes wonder what Mittens has done to his tongue to make it hate him so.

BaldarTFlagass February 29, 2012 at 11:36 am

What album is that on? I've got most of their stuff, though admittedly nothing in the last 5 or 6 years, and don't recognize that. Give me cool whip.

Dashboard Buddha February 29, 2012 at 11:48 am

That would be “Strange Noises in the Dark”. Another one of my faves is on there as well – “We always fight when we drink gin”.—

BaldarTFlagass February 29, 2012 at 11:55 am

OK. I went and checked their website, don't have that, my latest is Never an Adult Moment. Obviously I haven't been to a show since about '04, that's when I update my discography.

weej_bain February 29, 2012 at 11:55 am

Do you guyz they ever come to the NW? Like the NW Folklife Fest or the Tractor tav?

Dashboard Buddha February 29, 2012 at 12:09 pm

I had a bit too much to drink one night a few years ago and bought their entire catalog at that point. Go ahead…ask me anything about the ALL.

BaldarTFlagass February 29, 2012 at 12:21 pm

There's a couple west coast gigs listed. I'm sure they go just about everywhere. The only band I ever got my father to go see live. http://austinlizards.com/

An_Outhouse February 29, 2012 at 1:01 pm

Teenage Immigrant Welfare Mothers on Drugs pretty much sums up all of America's problems. (Thanks for the link)

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