OH OK GOT IT  2:00 pm February 28, 2012

Fox ‘Person’: Catholics Write Letters, Muslims Stab You With Letter Openers

by Liz Colville

bueller?

Greg Gutfeld (Oh my god, Greg, what happened to you, besides too many Crunchwrap Supremes?) is a member of a strange five-person cult that appears on Fox News every day. He thinks he is funny. He used to edit men’s magazines. He used to look like this (fig. 1), of a time. In 2010, during the whole Ground Zero mosque debacle, Gutfeld proposed building a gay bar for Muslims next to the mosque in “an effort to break down barriers and reduce deadly homophobia in the Islamic world.” Nice try (or rather, Hmm, we must acknowledge that you spoke those words), and/but vomit and WTF. Now, Greg tried to make his cult members laugh at Monday’s cult gathering by saying that the difference between Muslims and Catholics is that “Catholics write letters and Muslims stab you with letter openers.”

Excellent, here is the video for this gastrointestinal accident.

It goes without saying that Gutfeld is probably the most Muslim-hating person in this country that we are forced to look at more times than we care to. So in case you were wondering who that person was, here that person is. He’s attacked Keith Ellison, Representative from Minnesota, for being Muslim. He’s called Muslims “people from the 6th century,” and so on. His blog is called The Daily Gut, which, OK, that’s at least a good and accurate name.

There is a happy ending here, and that is that a) Greg mostly but not always appears on Fox at 3AM and b) we are now at the end of this post, which is a happy thing. [MediaMatters]

 
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{ 190 comments }

chascates February 28, 2012 at 2:07 pm

And neither religion should be involved in politics.

actor212 February 28, 2012 at 2:34 pm

Or in the nether regions, and Greg? I haz a sad that you think a gay bar would teach Muslims anything, unless you plan on actually being in the bar. Working. Hard.

Dashboard Buddha February 28, 2012 at 2:39 pm

Word

Barb February 28, 2012 at 2:08 pm

This guy is neither fair nor balanced (mentally)

JustPixelz February 28, 2012 at 2:31 pm

fair skinned … which is all he needs for that "Foxy look"

DaRooster February 28, 2012 at 4:57 pm

And balanced… moob-wise…

orygoon February 28, 2012 at 2:09 pm

Greg, what century does Pope Ratzi belong to?

RedneckMuslin February 28, 2012 at 2:11 pm

Hitler's?

RadioCualquier February 28, 2012 at 2:15 pm

Early to mid 20th, say 1933-45, yep, that oughta do.

Gratuitous World February 28, 2012 at 2:19 pm

the 2300s. you dont want to know.

Generation[redacted] February 28, 2012 at 2:31 pm

The one with the lizard people.

Boojum_Reborn February 28, 2012 at 3:23 pm

Any of 'em, all of 'em, Katie.

nounverb911 February 28, 2012 at 2:11 pm

And then they all blamed the Jews.

FROTHY February 28, 2012 at 2:23 pm

Why not, it's what they always do.

chicken_thief February 28, 2012 at 4:03 pm

I thought Fox Noise had a wide on for the Jews. Well, maybe not the US Jews ruining Hollywood and the like, but the in Israel Jews who the Kenyan in Chief is always stabbing in the back.

Gratuitous World February 28, 2012 at 2:11 pm

Next time: "Decrepit Catholic priests rape kids like THIS, while radical Muslims use kids as Human Shields like THIS"

FROTHY February 28, 2012 at 2:24 pm

Wait, no, you can't do that because the Israeli JEWISH soldiers also use kids as Human Shields. Like This or That, or any other way.

MosesInvests February 28, 2012 at 3:53 pm

Well, in Israel at least, soldiers who use human shields are court-martialed.

FROTHY February 28, 2012 at 4:04 pm

Mein kind, I'm not going to fight with you over this, OK? I know what it's like to feel like the whole world is ganging up on your people. And I will never stop fighting for the rights of the Jewish people to be free of genocide and persecution, and to have a homeland.

But the Israeli government, that's another story. And criticizing their actions does not make anybody anti-Semitic or anti-Jewish. So if we're going to disagree about this, let's agree to disagree and still agree to love and respect and honour each other. (Hugs you disirregardless)

MosesInvests February 28, 2012 at 4:10 pm

Frothy, I'm a lover not a fighter. That being said, I was in the IDF-and that kind of bullshit is *very* clearly against regulations. If an Israeli soldier were ordered to use human shields, that would be considered a flagrantly illegal order which said soldier would be duty-bound to disobey. Does that mean there are no stupid assholes in the IDF? No, just like any group of people anywhere. But it's not policy, even under the present government of Israel, which I consider to be the worst in Israel's history.

Baconzgood February 28, 2012 at 2:12 pm

Catholics are peaceful and as a Catholic I can safely say…NOBODY EXPECTS THE SPANISH INQUISITION!!!!!!!!!!!

FROTHY February 28, 2012 at 2:24 pm

NOW you tell me you're a Cat'lick.

Baconzgood February 28, 2012 at 2:40 pm

True Catholic baby! I go to church 4 times a year. You didn't think all of us lib-tards were godless heathens? I go more as a habit than anything.

(Get it HABIT. iz soooo funny)

FROTHY February 28, 2012 at 2:50 pm

You dingalingadingdong! I go to Catholic church about four times a year too, mostly because my best friend is a Catholic and I've had a srs crush on her since we were teenagers. You Cafeteria Christian, you.

Lascauxcaveman February 28, 2012 at 2:13 pm

Oooh, Greg. So close.

Muslims don't "stab" you with their letter openers. What they do is bomb you with nuclear-powered letter-opener-clusterbomb WMDs, developed secretly in their so-called "peaceful nuclear power" projects.

Which is why we have to bomb them FIRST.

Paranoid racist winger exaggeration FAIL.

WeHaveIssues February 28, 2012 at 2:13 pm

Men's Health Magazine – the Cosmo of men's soft gay porn, hmmmm….

widestanceromance February 28, 2012 at 2:13 pm

It was the paper cuts that made the Inquisition so violent and no one expected them.

Baconzgood February 28, 2012 at 2:19 pm

Put her in the comfy chair!!!!!! http://k.b5z.net/i/u/2183976/i/usr/12395/torture_

widestanceromance February 28, 2012 at 2:23 pm

Is that another TMZ dead Whitney shot?

FROTHY February 28, 2012 at 2:51 pm

You NEVER KNOW around here. But I think flamingpdog is the one who has all the HORRIBLE linkies. This one might be, you know, just a tad nauseating, or something.

Joshua Norton February 28, 2012 at 2:14 pm

Hmmm. Judging from that picture and his obvious tank top fetish, he's basically a Richard Simmons wannabe, only with a better haircut.

widestanceromance February 28, 2012 at 2:24 pm

And pants, I would hope.

chicken_thief February 28, 2012 at 4:06 pm

"…only with a better haircut."

PAUL BABEU LIBEL!!!!

Fukui-sanYesOta February 28, 2012 at 2:14 pm

he also says "I would love to bomb them back to the stone age but they're already there" – now that's fair and balanced.

I say we ship all these talking heads over to Afghanistan armed only with ham sandwiches.

johnnyzhivago February 28, 2012 at 2:17 pm

No, with ham biscuits!

FROTHY February 28, 2012 at 2:52 pm

Poor Lindsay! He just *nevah* gets no lerve.

Karma_Suture February 28, 2012 at 3:03 pm

And then teach them how to defend themselves against a baanaanaa!

nounverb911 February 28, 2012 at 2:15 pm

The Romans should have fed Gutfeld's ancestors to the lions.

MiniMencken February 28, 2012 at 2:15 pm

The First Amendment gently weeps…

Nostrildamus February 28, 2012 at 2:15 pm

Unitarians perform a healing dance over your chakra,

FROTHY February 28, 2012 at 2:53 pm

With stilettos, pleez pleez pleez! The daggers, not the shoes.

johnnyzhivago February 28, 2012 at 2:16 pm

In Northern Ireland I hear the Catholics were really big on sending letters – with bombs in them!

LagunaB February 28, 2012 at 2:56 pm

Your *knowledge* of northern Ireland and the Irish (catholic is a redundancy) is non-existent. It is our country, the prods are trespassers.

Boojum_Reborn February 28, 2012 at 3:26 pm

OK, so no bombs in letters or yes bombs in letters?

doloras February 28, 2012 at 3:33 pm

Ten bucks say that you've never been closer to Ireland than the Staten Island ferry.

LagunaB February 28, 2012 at 3:39 pm

Kinsale.Pay up.
Cumann na mBan.

johnnyzhivago February 28, 2012 at 3:48 pm

Ok, but I did stay at a Holiday Inn Express last night.

MosesInvests February 28, 2012 at 3:57 pm

Noted irish (Republican) poet W.B. Yeats was a Prod. So was Wolfe Tone. The Irish tricolor includes the color orange as a acknowledgment that the Irish Republic is a union of Catholics *and* Protestants.

Guppy February 28, 2012 at 5:18 pm

The snakes were there first.

MosesInvests February 28, 2012 at 9:00 pm

St. Patrick libel!1!1!

Guppy February 28, 2012 at 5:22 pm

Speaking of "our country" and "trespassing," there are a few of your kin working for Fox News we'd dearly like to deport somewhere. You wouldn't mind welcoming them home, would you?

LagunaB February 28, 2012 at 5:40 pm

Fox News folk.Send them to Somalia.Sent from my iPhone

FROTHY February 28, 2012 at 5:44 pm

Oh, now, Guppy, let's not be mean, eh? There's plenty of arseholes on Fox News from everywhere. Don't they have Canadians, and English folk, too?

Guppy February 28, 2012 at 5:51 pm

No, special damnation should be reserved for modern-day Know-Nothings with last names like "O'Reilly" and "Hannity."

"Don't trust them new paddies over there…" Sing along if you know the words!

Negropolis February 29, 2012 at 2:28 am

You know, you missed the snark and then the chance to snark to make it better, and that really makes you fucked up, even if people agree with your opinion. Defensive and sensitive much?

Negropolis February 29, 2012 at 2:25 am

Two birds, one stone.

Pragmatist2 February 28, 2012 at 2:17 pm

The difference between rectums and assholes is that rectums have a sphincter that keeps their sh*t in and assholes do not. Witness Mr. Gutfield.

smashedinhat February 28, 2012 at 2:17 pm

I really didn't want to watch that, nor did I want to watch Jack van Imp or whatever the hell his name is this weekend past. What have I done to deserve this outrage!? Who do I pay off?

FROTHY February 28, 2012 at 2:55 pm

Poor love! It'll be OK. Just NEVER EVER click on a Wonketz linky or watch the videos.

Oh, who the fuck am I kidding? They'll get you, no matter what happens, smashed. Just breathe deep.

Chillwillard February 28, 2012 at 2:18 pm

And Catholic Priests abuse little boys. What's your point again?

bumfug February 28, 2012 at 2:18 pm

The difference between Fox News and real news is that real news gives you factual information and Fox News stabs your brain with idiocy.

PeaceWithHonor February 28, 2012 at 2:20 pm

It's very egalitarian for Fox to hire people who would be better suited for careers in food service.

widestanceromance February 28, 2012 at 2:32 pm

Oh, come on now, would you eat a sandwich made by any of them?

HistoriCat February 28, 2012 at 4:33 pm

I'm sure those blonde bimbos on Fox would have been excellent Salad Sisters

FROTHY February 28, 2012 at 7:09 pm

Note to self: STOP CLICKING ON WONKETTE LINKIES!!

anniegetyerfun February 28, 2012 at 2:36 pm

Everyone on Fox News is special needs, and I commend them for creating jobs for people who would otherwise be unable to participate in the workforce.

Lionel[redacted]Esq February 28, 2012 at 2:20 pm

So, the IRA were all Muslims?

LagunaB February 28, 2012 at 3:01 pm

Don't use words you don't understand. And don't talk about history you have no knowledge of.

Boojum_Reborn February 28, 2012 at 3:28 pm

Islamic Republican Allah. Easy, no more Catholiciness.

MosesInvests February 28, 2012 at 3:35 pm

The Provisional IRA, or Provos, then. And while I am sympathetic to the unification of Ulster with the rest of Ireland, the Provos were nasty, terrorist bastards (not that the Prostestant, Unionist militias were/are any better).

LagunaB February 28, 2012 at 3:44 pm

There was nastiness on both sides.Sent from my iPhone

MosesInvests February 28, 2012 at 3:58 pm

Agreed.

Negropolis February 29, 2012 at 2:29 am

Fuck off, you hyper-sensitive prig. You have this excellent talent, I see, of pushing away people who'd otherwise be on your side, ideologically.

FROTHY February 28, 2012 at 3:17 pm

I know, I was amazed too.

LabRodent February 28, 2012 at 2:20 pm

I would loved to see Fox's screening process for new employees "Are you a Dick? Yes! Welcome to Fox News.

LettucePrey February 28, 2012 at 2:20 pm

OK, I'll admit, I do watch "The Five" on occasion. For lulz.

Greg Gutfeld isn't even the most odious on this panel. He's just extremely bitter that ripping off Jon Stewart doesn't get him the national exposure that the Daily Show has. Bob Beckel (the old muttering guy in the suspenders) is supposed to be the "liberal" voice on the panel, but in traditional Faux fashion, he's not liberal at all – he's a fundamentalist Christian who constantly apologizes for Obama. And don't get me started on that hot tranny mess Kimberly Guilfoyle, who went from championing marriage equality (while married to one of the most progressive politicians in the U.S.) to this nasty right-wing streak on display here.

RadioCualquier February 28, 2012 at 2:28 pm

I'm guilty too, LP, I've watched Red Eye a few times. Or, I should say the first ten minutes — that's about as much as I can stomach. It is truly pathetic to watch wingtards try to be snarky and hip. Disgusting really. They just come across as pompous and smug — as evidenced by Gutfeld's stupid remarks.

FROTHY February 28, 2012 at 2:58 pm

What? Kimberly Guilfoyle is on that show? How have the mighty fallen. From a hotshot young lawyer with a wealthy, cool, progressive politico for a husband to a late-night talk-show tart on Pox Ooze! Say byebye to your career, Kimmy!

Gainsbourg69 February 28, 2012 at 6:48 pm

I've watched this show a couple of times and it is painfully unfunny.

SorosBot February 28, 2012 at 2:20 pm

Catholics write letters? Try telling that to the English, or the family of George Tiller.

lefty74 February 28, 2012 at 2:20 pm

Try separating the church and the state at the Vatican.

Do the priests have diplomatic immunity?

BaldarTFlagass February 28, 2012 at 2:28 pm

"Try separating the church and the state at the Vatican."

How, you ask? With a crowbar, natch!

FROTHY February 28, 2012 at 2:21 pm

Liz, why couldn't you stabbety-stab Gutfield with your letter-writing instruments right in the GUT???

Oh, right, crimes = jail food, horrible thought. Nevah mind.

bikerlaureate February 28, 2012 at 2:22 pm

One almost hopes he's drawing that comparison from personal experience.

He's got the beginnings of a classic right-wing stand-up routine here. Can't wait to learn how Hindus and Wiccans are called out…

chascates February 28, 2012 at 2:22 pm

The totally scientific Drudge Poll is back!
NEWT GINGRICH 12.13% (5,894 votes)
RON PAUL 24.38% (11,841 votes)
MITT ROMNEY 35.01% (17,008 votes)
RICK SANTORUM 28.48% (13,834 votes)
Total Votes: 48,577

I voted for Newt just to string his ass along.

redarmyzombie February 28, 2012 at 2:44 pm

You'd have done better to send him the latest Tiffany's catalogue.

Guppy February 28, 2012 at 5:20 pm

What, the Paultards haven't gotten their voting scripts set up yet? Someone's slacking.

FROTHY February 28, 2012 at 2:23 pm

Totally Fucking OT but: Dear Wonketteers, I will be leaving you in peace come Friday for a month or more. Chances are, I won't have time to check in, except maybe SuperTuesday. I want to thank you all for making my forced post-surgical bed-rest so horribly entertaining. It's been wonderful. Eh, life goes on. I love alla y'all (yeah, even the ones who have valiantly resisted my blandishments).

Back to snark.

BaldarTFlagass February 28, 2012 at 2:30 pm

Hope the surgery cures that boardname schizophrenia you've been suffering!! See you soon!

FROTHY February 28, 2012 at 2:59 pm

Dang, dood, that's not gonna happen till ALL these RW nutbags are safely out of the running sobbing into their beer while we dance around celebrating President Obama's re-election.

prommie February 28, 2012 at 2:30 pm

But Frothy, we hardly knew ye.

FROTHY February 28, 2012 at 2:59 pm

Yes, you little resister of my blandishments! I may be back. I just don't know when, or how.

widestanceromance February 28, 2012 at 2:34 pm

NOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!

It's gonna be a long month, so hurry back.

FROTHY February 28, 2012 at 3:02 pm

Unfortunately, I'm not going away because I want to. Some things have happened that require my presence, and I really don't know if or when I can come back. I don't really want to say more, just because I don't want to cause any of you any unhappiness. Inshallah, I shall return. But I really don't know when that might be. I know you will all do fine without me, and I will always remember all of you with great fondness and love. I will certainly come back here if I can. I love you, widestance. I hope you take good care of your sweet wonderful man. Give him a squeeze for me.

widestanceromance February 28, 2012 at 3:26 pm

sniff.

Take care, and remember that we will have you in whatever state or quantity we can get you.

FROTHY February 28, 2012 at 3:44 pm

(Hugs widestance close) Don't you worry, baby. I'll do my best to come home.

Lionel[redacted]Esq February 28, 2012 at 3:28 pm

I must leave you. Why I cannot say. Where I am going you cannot know. How I will get there I haven't decided yet. But one thing I can tell you, any time I hear the wind blow it will whisper the name… Wonkette.

FROTHY February 28, 2012 at 3:45 pm

Oh, you terrible little scamp!

Doktor Zoom February 28, 2012 at 9:50 pm

'Twas like where you're from weren't never there. Where you're going doesn't matter. And where you are ain't no good unless you can get away from it!

And remember: No man with a good car needs to be justified!

HistoriCat February 28, 2012 at 4:47 pm

So is there a legal defense fund we should be contributing to? Maybe you can plead down to a misdemeanor.

FROTHY February 28, 2012 at 4:57 pm

You awful person, you. C'mere, lemme rub that hairy BELLEH!

I wish it were a threatened arrest. Then I'd be having FUN, FUN, FUN! I'll miss you so much, you scalawag. You have made me LOL more times than I can remember. (Hugs you)

I'll be checking in on SuperTuesday if the timezone permits. I think there's a 16-hour time diff, so I'll be checking in after everyone else checks out, but any kind of contact is good!

Lionel[redacted]Esq February 28, 2012 at 2:37 pm

This is just a lead-in to another name/avatar change, right?

You will be missed. Come back soon, and may the snark be with you.

FROTHY February 28, 2012 at 3:03 pm

Hey, Chet already pretended to kick my ass all OVER this place for not announcing the name changes in advance! I'm not doing that again.

No, this is serious, and I leave on Friday, so don't worry. I'll be brute-forcing around until then. You will be missed too, you know. (Hugs Lionel) You have all been so very good to me.

Dashboard Buddha February 28, 2012 at 2:39 pm

Dobbs speed, our dear Frothy.

FROTHY February 28, 2012 at 3:04 pm

You sweetheart. (Hugs the DBB) And I see you lost the shmoo. Don't worry. I will wish many, many blowjobs on you.

Dashboard Buddha February 28, 2012 at 3:14 pm

This Friday night, god willing.—

FROTHY February 28, 2012 at 3:19 pm

I am also willing. NO! Not in THAT WAY!

Have a wonderful time, dood, and think of us all while you're enjoying that well-earned organizm.

RadioCualquier February 28, 2012 at 2:41 pm

Srsly, doodette? What are we to do?
I hope your productivity and wit extends over to more important endeavors.
You will be missed.

FROTHY February 28, 2012 at 3:05 pm

(Hugs the Radio) You are to keep the snark going mightily. You never know when I might sneak back in for a quick read.

You will be greatly missed, too. You don't know how much you have given me.

redarmyzombie February 28, 2012 at 2:48 pm

Yar, and I JUST signed up to snark with y'all too!

Well, best of luck to ye.

FROTHY February 28, 2012 at 3:06 pm

Thank you, redarmyzombie. Solidarnosc!

actor212 February 28, 2012 at 2:54 pm

I'll miss you most, scarecrow

FROTHY February 28, 2012 at 3:08 pm

It'll be OK, Grasshopper. I will hold you warm and close in my heart. We've known each other since Sadly, No! Although you probly don't remember me from those days. Hopefully, everything will be good and wonderful, and I will come home soon. But if I don't, remember that I will always love and cherish you for making my days happy and filled with laughter. Also evil and filled with snark, but hey, that's what makes me happy.

chascates February 28, 2012 at 3:05 pm

You will go see the Wonkette Movie when it's released, right?

FROTHY February 28, 2012 at 3:21 pm

ZOMG, there's a MOVIE? Of course I will! Will there be nekky Sara Benincasa? (Pant, pant, drool)

(Hugs chascates) Stay safe, and enjoy the beautiful farm with all the little beastlies. I will miss you.

LagunaB February 28, 2012 at 3:32 pm

Happy trails to you, until we meet again.
Happy trails to you, keep smiling until then………

FROTHY February 28, 2012 at 3:46 pm

Be well, dear. Remember that the greatest victory is to be able to forgive those who have injured you, not because it redounds to their benefit, but to yours. It's easier living life without the painful knots in the psyche. (Hugs you)

LagunaB March 2, 2012 at 11:16 pm

Just to let you know. Because you have vanished along with Ken, no comment, others have stepped up to the plate to extended hugs you would normally bestow. It is not the same. Appreciated, but not the same. Not that I care. (sigh) just to let you know. As we say in Cally, whatever. Sent from my iPhone

MosesInvests February 28, 2012 at 3:38 pm

Go in peace, and return in peace. Place won't be the same without you.

FROTHY February 28, 2012 at 3:48 pm

My friend, thank you for what you have given me. People of goodwill can always reach agreement if they try, and I'm glad we tried, since we now get to call each other friend. My love and good wishes to your family and to your very special and wonderful little boy with his songs. May happiness fill all your days, my friend. (Hugs you)

MosesInvests February 28, 2012 at 5:21 pm

I'm thinking you may be confusing me with someone else, dood. My "little" boy is in high school, has his first girlfriend, and he's Deaf as a doorknob, so definitely no songs from him (I'm the singer in the family). But yes, I value our virtual friendship, and the Wonkettariat and I will miss you while you're gone. Hugs to you, too.

FROTHY February 28, 2012 at 5:50 pm

You're right, I AM. I am so sorry! Pls 2 forgive!

(Hugs you) Sing me the Kol Nidre sometime and we'll call it even.

Antispandex February 28, 2012 at 2:23 pm

It seems that the Nazis of the last century had Jews to hate, while this century has moved the Fox News watchers onto the Muslims. Nothing to be done about it…well, I could write a letter.

redarmyzombie February 28, 2012 at 2:53 pm

I propose we pass out doughnuts at the next Teabagger rally. That should help the fat fucks along with their next quadruple bypass, eh?

Boojum_Reborn February 28, 2012 at 3:31 pm

Fried twinkies.

chicken_thief February 28, 2012 at 4:20 pm

I'M THERE!!!

FROTHY February 28, 2012 at 3:49 pm

Are you Catholic?

Because if you're not, they're NOT GONNA READ IT!

It could be a MooseLump plot, wiv bombs and everything.

SudsMcKenzie February 28, 2012 at 2:23 pm

I wanted a tanning booth next door. Lets call it "Koran Tan".

redarmyzombie February 28, 2012 at 2:53 pm

With complementary tanning burqa.

FROTHY February 28, 2012 at 3:50 pm

I don't know if you realize this, man, but back in those parts when they say they're gonna give you a Koran Tan, it's usually your parents saying it, and it involves bringing a heavy yet sacred book down on your nether regions with great force.

Chichikovovich February 28, 2012 at 2:23 pm

He’s called Muslims “people from the 6th century,”

Unlike fundamentalist Christians, who want to go back to the 1st century. Before Christianity went all Hollywood.

BaldarTFlagass February 28, 2012 at 2:23 pm

"He’s called Muslims “people from the 6th century,” and so on."

Joke's on him, Islam wasn't even founded until the 7th century. Christians, on the other hand have been around almost since BC times, which is like prehistoric, amirite?

FROTHY February 28, 2012 at 3:51 pm

You am.

Wait — does BC stand for "Birth Control"?

GOPCrusher February 28, 2012 at 3:54 pm

COPTIC LIBEL !!1!11!

paris biltong February 28, 2012 at 2:23 pm

Only Muslims stab you with letter openers? How about Catholic fucking Tosca? Ignorant moron.

FROTHY February 28, 2012 at 3:51 pm

CAAAAR-MEN!!

orygoon February 28, 2012 at 2:24 pm

I think the only stringing-along of Newt's ass is done with $10 million donations.

BaldarTFlagass February 28, 2012 at 2:25 pm

"Gutfeld proposed building a gay bar for Muslims next to the mosque in “an effort to break down barriers” and reduce deadly homophobia in the Islamic world.”

I bet, from looking at that fitness photo, that he had other reasons besides those he listed.

FROTHY February 28, 2012 at 3:43 pm

BUSTED!

Loaded_Pants February 28, 2012 at 5:36 pm

Well, he was editor-in-chief of Men's Health.

FROTHY February 28, 2012 at 5:45 pm

I once worked for a man who volunteered at the local clinics (back in the 80s) on gay men's health issues. It soon became abundantly clear to me that the ONLY reason he was doing that was so he could get up close and personal with every dick in town.

I don't even want to know what "editor-in-chief of Men's Health" is a Pox Ooze euphemism for.

Doktor Zoom February 28, 2012 at 2:25 pm

Christians don't stab you with letter openers. But if you're a doctor who performs a legal surgical procedure, Christians may post your home address on the internet, follow your children around, and stop by your church to shoot you in the head.

FROTHY February 28, 2012 at 3:43 pm

"a legal surgical procedure,"

You forgot LIFE-SAVING. A woman I used to work with had her baby die inside of her when the umbilical cord looped around the fetus' neck. When that happens, the carcass rots. If it is not removed immediately, the rot spreads to the uterus. The woman in question was Catholic and 7 months pregnant. This is not unusual. The only way to tell if the fetus is horribly deformed or not likely to live long is around 5 months. What happens to those women and their already existing LIVE children when the Dr. Tillers of this world are murdered? Glenn Beck has never saved the life of a pregnant woman that I know of.

KeepFnThatChicken February 28, 2012 at 2:25 pm

Letter opener goes in, letter opener goes out; never any miscommunication.

MissTaken February 28, 2012 at 2:27 pm

Greg Gutfeld is proof that Fox News is not good for Men's Health.

FROTHY February 28, 2012 at 3:39 pm

It sure as hell ain't gonna be too good for his health to be kicked repeatedly in the nutsack — which is all this Pox Ooze segment will earn him.

edgydrifter February 28, 2012 at 2:28 pm

Dear Grandpa Greg,

WTF is a letter-opener?

Sincerely, The 21st Century

Generation[redacted] February 28, 2012 at 2:39 pm

I think it's some archaic term for a PGP key.

prommie February 28, 2012 at 2:29 pm

In New Jersey, we don't pum gas, we pump our fist.

Boojum_Reborn February 28, 2012 at 3:33 pm

Lube or no lube? Fox viewers must know.

Troglodeity February 28, 2012 at 2:30 pm

I apologize for know-nothing, immature assholes like Gutfeld to patriotic Muslim- Americans like this man: http://scoutingmagazine.org/2012/02/a-muslim-scou

donner_froh February 28, 2012 at 2:31 pm

Since Muslims are people from the 6th century, neither the US nor Israel should worry about Iran's nukes since they didn't have nuclear power 1500 years ago.

slowhansolo February 28, 2012 at 2:32 pm

So all I have to do to get a job at Fox News loudly proclaim my hate for Muslims?

Pass.

actor212 February 28, 2012 at 2:32 pm

Torquemada taught penmanship?

FROTHY February 28, 2012 at 3:38 pm

Who nu?

Toomush_Infer February 28, 2012 at 2:32 pm

I think there's an actual psychological regressive disease that goes on at FAUX – it starts with a mild case of truthiness and, day by lying day, reduces their funcasters into blithering idiocy…it should probably be named Glen Syndrome, after its most salient victim…

prommie February 28, 2012 at 2:33 pm

Mark Twain: All nations look down upon all other nations.

All nations dislike all other nations.

All white nations despise all colored nations, of whatever hue, and oppress them when they can.

White men will not associate with "niggers," nor marry them.

They will not allow them in their schools and churches.

All the world hates the Jew, and will not endure him except when he is rich.

I ask you to note all those particulars.

chicken_thief February 28, 2012 at 4:29 pm

Needs more "I'm not a racist, but…"

MosesInvests February 28, 2012 at 5:24 pm

Well, the Protestants hate the Catholics, and the Catholics hate the Protestants,
The Hindus hate the Moslems (sic) and ev'rybody hates the Jews,
But when it's National Brotherhood Week….

Mumbletypeg February 28, 2012 at 2:33 pm

Greg Gutfeld (Oh my god, Greg, what happened to you…?)

a laughable name, apparently; along with sowing enough hate to reap a haboob of whoop-ass.

IceCreamEmpress February 28, 2012 at 2:35 pm

Jesus wept, Gutfeld, "bloated plutocrat" is just a metaphor. Blowing up to Chris Christie proportions isn't going to make you rich, dude.

elviouslyqueer February 28, 2012 at 2:40 pm

I'm sorry, but if I'm going to waste 2:37 watching a bunch of pasty constipated harpies shrieking at each other, I'll re-watch the trailer of The Iron Lady.

HistoriCat February 28, 2012 at 4:52 pm

Those 2 minutes, 37 seconds were from my life – I want them back!

2161911 February 28, 2012 at 2:52 pm

What's the difference between a pile of garbage and "Fox and Friends"?

FROTHY February 28, 2012 at 3:12 pm

There's a *difference*?

poorgradstudent February 28, 2012 at 2:54 pm

It's like Ireland and Uganda never existed!

FROTHY February 28, 2012 at 3:12 pm

Are they IN AMERICA?

NO? Then they never existed. Next question?

Karma_Suture February 28, 2012 at 2:58 pm

It just amazes me to no end how these fart sacks can take immensely complicated ideas and ALWAYS be able to reduce them down to some pithy, totally irrelevant and absolutely wrong sound byte.

Very talented they is.

DahBoner February 28, 2012 at 2:59 pm

Real Men don't buy "men's magazines" *

* = Except Real Gay Men

SayItWithWookies February 28, 2012 at 3:03 pm

Right — Catholics are completely nonviolent — especially when one of their bishops is calling for "violent opposition" to having to insure birth control.

BlueStateLibel February 28, 2012 at 3:05 pm

This guy isn't worth wasting a few strokes on, except for INQUISITION you idiot.

WiscDad February 28, 2012 at 3:17 pm

Well…he looks like a half Asian gay guy…so what's his problem? Aside from lusting after Muslims

Barrelhse February 28, 2012 at 3:47 pm

This Greg guy is pretty funny. I wonder if we could get him to post here?

glamourdammerung February 28, 2012 at 4:02 pm

Other than the Holocaust, Catholics have been pretty good about not murdering off whole groups of people in the last century or so.

FROTHY February 28, 2012 at 4:52 pm

Northern Ireland.

glamourdammerung February 28, 2012 at 5:09 pm

Pinochet as well.

But I was trying to be kind and only count the organized mass murders.

FROTHY February 28, 2012 at 5:52 pm

Uterus police in Guatemala? Or is that Nicaragua?

Awright, awright, they're not mass murderers, I geddit!

Who_Knew_Too February 28, 2012 at 5:03 pm

As usual, the idiots who whore for fox are ignorant of the facts. I don't know the name of the brown haired him who wanted to be the Afghans apologize for killing the very same Americans who INVADED their country!

And then there is the fool talking about staying, he forgets all the doctors who've been murdered by so called Christians. He forgets that mcveigh was Christian, I could write for hours…..

The hate and ignorance on the fox network makes my skin crawl!

ttommyunger February 28, 2012 at 5:34 pm

Hmmm. Another cunt in the Fox Lineup. (Yawns)

FROTHY February 28, 2012 at 6:21 pm

Well, keep the FUN idea in mind, then.

Excelsior! Snark ON!

rocktonsam February 28, 2012 at 7:47 pm

Dear Muslins,

Fox News are the ones you should really, really hate,

Really.

Sam

FROTHY February 28, 2012 at 4:14 pm

I have lots of Israeli friends as well as American friends who have served in the IDF. As you point out — there are stupid assholes everywhere. It might not be official policy, but there are reported instances. The inequity between the two sides is too great for me to overlook even one such instance. The Israeli government chokes off the supply of medication, food, and water into Gaza and the West Bank.

I know it's not official policy. But it happens. And it's not worth arguing about, because the *greater* crime is that this Israeli government is endangering the lives of not just Israeli Jews but Jews everywhere.

HistoriCat February 28, 2012 at 4:19 pm

Israel squandered the moral force of the Holocaust through their treatment of the Palestinians. The United States squandered the goodwill and moral force of the September 11 attacks through the idiotic invasion of Iraq. Any other contenders for biggest squandering dipshits?

FROTHY February 28, 2012 at 4:31 pm

This is Planet Earth, habibi. There will ALWAYS be contenders. Let's face it, we're all dipshits. Some of us just learn to drop the dipshit routine after life kicks us hard in the goolies a few times.

Guppy February 28, 2012 at 5:16 pm

What's Canadian PM Harper been up to these days?

HistoriCat February 28, 2012 at 5:44 pm

Fleeing the country to avoid prosecution? Good idea – worked for Roman Polanski.

FROTHY February 28, 2012 at 5:48 pm

No. Fleeing the country to care for a deathly ill sib. I really didn't want to share this, but I know you're only poking me because you want to know. Well, now you know. I'm not resentful, sweetie, it's not in my nature. But I don't really want to talk about it, because I don't know what's awaiting me at the end of this journey, and it really is very upsetting. Let's go back to the snark now, OK? I do love you and I will miss you, and I hope Mrs. HistoriCat and the Little HistoriCats are all doing well.

FROTHY February 28, 2012 at 6:19 pm

Ah, ya know, before I went to Ireland to visit and stay and see the whole beautiful country, every Irish person I know said, "Don't you trust them over there," and we're talking Irish Irish, here, born on the auld sod (bunch of old sods).

It's sad, innit, when the Irish first came to this country, people put out signs in the shops, NINA, "No Irish Need Apply." And the things that they did to them here! And then to see so many Irish like O'Reilly and Hannity joining arms with those bastids who would once have kicked them to the bottom of the nearest heap for a bunch of bog-dwellers, and they're carrying their water now and doing the job of oppressing the next lot that comes by.

Guppy February 28, 2012 at 6:43 pm

One has to wonder if it's some sort of multi-generational Stockholm Syndrome.

FROTHY February 28, 2012 at 7:06 pm

Ah, you know, don't be hard on them. The Irish government was the first among European nations to support the right of many a colony, accepting as brothers/sisters in the struggle people that were horribly oppressed.

And how can you hold one bit of anger in your heart for a people who could deliver such a magnificent orator as this, especially when he's giving some teabagger an earful about Sarah Palin and teabaggery? Enjoy, my friend.

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