Solve Diabetes & the Environment By Playing Dodgeball For Charity In DC

by Wonkette Jr.

Do you live in the Washington DC metro area and enjoy hipster irony such as “playing dodgeball,” on your weekend, when you should really be at home meditating on the emptiness of your life? Well, by all means you should play dodgeball for charity on March 11. Get your loser political/lobbyist/think tank/junior staffer friends together and sign up! You can help solve diabetes — both in a literal sense, in your own body, by exercising, and also by helping raise money for a medical cure. And you can help solve the apparent social issue of “the first sustainable dodgeball tournament according to the Council for Responsible Sport who oversees the sustainability certification process for sporting events.”

DO THIS:

On Sunday, March 11, 2012, 500 metro-area hipsters, do-gooders and ball-throwers will gather at Champions FieldHouse in Rockville, Md., for the 7th Annual Dodging Diabetes Charity Dodgeball Tournament®. The charity dodgeball tournament is expecting to raise $15,000 for the Joslin Diabetes Center and JDRF, bringing the seven-year total close to $85,000. This year Dodging Diabetes will become the first sustainable dodgeball tournament according to the Council for Responsible Sport who oversees the sustainability certification process for sporting events. Founded in 2005 by two D.C. locals, the charity event brings community sponsors and local participants together for a one-day competition to raise money and awareness for the fight against diabetes.

Says Lindsey Mikal, who has been part of this Dodging Diabetes event for many years:

Wonkette has been awesome to the Dodging Diabetes Charity Dodgeball Tournament the last few years and I was hoping you might be able to do us a solid and write up a post this year as well. It’s our 7th anniversary! The tourney is Sunday, March 11th in Rockville and we’re trying to drive final registrations. Currently the fee is $350 for a team of 6-10 players, but it jumps to $500 starting Thursday.

$350 for six to ten people is … cheaper than dining out, we are pretty sure! [Dodging Diabetes]

 

Hola wonkerados.

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{ 37 comments }

Barb February 28, 2012 at 1:13 pm

Bristol should enter. She's a pro at balls flying at her face.

widestanceromance February 28, 2012 at 1:25 pm

If you can dodge that wench, you can dodge that ball.

chicken_thief February 28, 2012 at 1:56 pm

She's not so quick, though, with the ones coming between her legs….

actor212 February 28, 2012 at 2:05 pm

Aw, please! One out of a thousand ain't bad odds…

chicken_thief February 28, 2012 at 3:52 pm

When you put it that way, or the way Levi put it, I guess you are right…

Callyson February 28, 2012 at 1:21 pm

Aw, too bad I live too far away for this event. I could use a game where I play with some balls. (Must get out more…)

nounverb911 February 28, 2012 at 1:21 pm

Everyone can hide behind Chris Christie.

WiscDad February 28, 2012 at 1:28 pm

If you're lucky he'll bend over and show you his santorum

chicken_thief February 28, 2012 at 2:01 pm

Until he gets airlifted to one of his kids sporting events.

redarmyzombie February 28, 2012 at 3:48 pm

Be honest: is there even an aircraft CAPABLE of carrying all that weight?

BaldarTFlagass February 28, 2012 at 1:21 pm

As an out-of-towner, I won't be able to participate. But as a show of support, I will stay home and watch the Dodgeball movie and eat Good'n'Plentys and mainline insulin during the hours of this event.

Barb February 28, 2012 at 1:22 pm

Jersey the Hut?

Mumbletypeg February 28, 2012 at 1:28 pm

Ha! Dodgeball — I remember playing, and sucking at it too, but it was compulsory/ mandated/ required for P.E. in school; being short & scrawny didn't exempt. I can still see that vile orb sailing through the air overhead coming down to crash unless I threw my outstretched arms fast enough to deflect it – - oh. Nevermind, I'm thinking of volleyball.

Loaded_Pants February 28, 2012 at 7:05 pm

Heh. I was terrible at dodgeball. I was one of the biggest kids in my class & uncoordinated to boot so I was an easy target. But, because of my height & the fact that I finally lost weight & finally got coordinated, I was awesome at volleyballl in HS.

ifthethunderdontgetya February 28, 2012 at 1:40 pm

Dodgeball is a gateway drug for murderball/smear the queer/maul ball.

Just so you know.
~

Loaded_Pants February 28, 2012 at 7:06 pm

So that's why I was such a target.

SayItWithWookies February 28, 2012 at 1:41 pm

We've got a theme going here, as the previous thread featured a woman playing dodgerock in ballville.

ChernobylSoup February 28, 2012 at 1:42 pm

I'm against diabetes and all, but I also believe dodgeball to be one of society's greater ills.

What to do? What to do?

Mumbletypeg February 28, 2012 at 1:46 pm

Great Christ, wandering over here & seeing that Wonkabout banner after so long in disuse, must be how Royal Tenenbaum felt upon following his son into the family home's "game closet" only to be cussed out by said son, then reunited with an old stuffed boar's head: There you are!"

chicken_thief February 28, 2012 at 1:59 pm

If the First Lady and her killer arms are participating, count me out. No fucking way, at my age, can I dodge a ball launched from a human howitzer.

Dashboard Buddha February 28, 2012 at 2:28 pm

I bet she could put a wicked spin on the ball too. You'd dodge only to find that the ball has boomeranged and hit you in the back of the head.

Steverino247 February 28, 2012 at 2:01 pm

Sorry, but I'll be getting my balls rubbed on the West Coast that day.

actor212 February 28, 2012 at 2:05 pm

Does MissTaken know?

Steverino247 February 28, 2012 at 2:53 pm

Oh, so many good responses to that set up line… I can't make up my mind right now which would be the most inappropriate one to post!

redarmyzombie February 28, 2012 at 3:50 pm

All of them, Katie.

actor212 February 28, 2012 at 2:04 pm

I'd come down, but I play EXXXXXXXXXXXXTREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEME dodgeball.

We use real bullets, mijo!

Dashboard Buddha February 28, 2012 at 2:27 pm

West Bank ball?

actor212 February 28, 2012 at 2:31 pm

Newark Ball!

paris biltong February 28, 2012 at 2:04 pm

I used to own a Dodge, way back when. Understand they call it Mitsubishi ball nowadays.

Dashboard Buddha February 28, 2012 at 2:37 pm

I was once run over by a Dodge. Really. I often wonder how my life would have turned out if I had been able to dodge the Dodge.

redarmyzombie February 28, 2012 at 3:52 pm

Oh, if I had a dollar for every truck/SUV that's run me over…

Dashboard Buddha February 28, 2012 at 2:30 pm

Sigh…good times good times. I used to love this game when I were a lad. Big enough to throw the ball with respectable velocity, agile enough to dodge most of the time.

actor212 February 28, 2012 at 2:32 pm

Ayyy, Dodge THESE balls!

Hooooooooooh!

elburritodeluxe February 28, 2012 at 2:41 pm

Dodge diabetes, you can dodge a ball!

DaRooster February 28, 2012 at 3:11 pm

In my day… it was Prison Ball! And we played it outside, on the gravel, and we would dive and scrap up our hands, and we did at night… and we liked it!

ttommyunger February 28, 2012 at 5:37 pm

Jersey, Diabetes, Dodgeball? Good fit.

FlownOver February 28, 2012 at 6:23 pm

Will it also cure whatever neurological disorder causes its victims to say "do us a solid?"

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