NOW you care about these obscure California politicians ...Do you see that lady? She is Nadia Lockyer, Alameda County, California, supervisor. Do you see that man? That is her husband, California state Treasurer Bill Lockyer. We know, right? So you could maybe understand why she has been having (allegedly) meth-feuled sex-tape sexytime with some dude she met in rehab (because of course), and then she (allegedly) straight-up beat that dude’s ass when it looked like he was still boning other ladies.

(And what about her actual husband, 70-year-old Democrat Bill Lockyer? Clever GOP operative types like to insert the word “nurse” or “nursing” into any press release about him, because of how they say he likes to dress up as a nurse. See? Clever. Or what’s the opposite of that? Right. Stupid.)

First, after Nadia got herself hospitalized following a brawl in a Newark Sex Hotel (!), Bill and Nadia claimed the sex-affair dude was an ex-boyfriend (of Nadia’s) who was stalking her. But in many SHOCKING TWISTS — including Bill just happening to send Nadia’s sexts with her “ex” to a DA, for investigatin’ — it now seems, according to the San Francisco Chronicle, that Nadia and her “ex” are still fighting the good fight. With meth, sex-tapes, and love!

Her cheating heart, apparently, gives Bill Lockyer a sad, so he (allegedly) got in touch with his wife’s boyfriend’s father, and asked this dude’s dad to erase said sex tape from his son’s sexy computer, which is probably mostly filled with sexts, sex-tapes, and home recipes for bathtub methamphetamine. And the sex-tape also (allegedly!) gave Bill Lockyer a little boner of his own, because he reportedly has watched it.

Nadia is back in rehab again, where hopefully she will meet a nicer boyfriend. [San Francisco Chronicle]

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  • nounverb911

    "Methy Sex-Tapey Sex Times"
    Damn, I thought this was the franchise announcement for "Bristol Meth".

  • ttommyunger

    …and this is newsworthy because…..?

  • Barb

    Liar, liar, crotch on fire.

    • LabRodent

      after meth sex it may very well be on fire.

      • Barb

        追龍 chasing the dragon and the little man in the boat.
        Eating fortune cookies has got to suck without teeth.

  • UnholyMoses

    You can tell they're Democrats by the fact no young boys/cancer-stricken wives were involved.

    Now … your move, Bristol.

    • I dunno….those breasts might require a closer examination to be sure.

  • Local_Mojo

    It is California, right? Move along.

  • SexySmurf

    Her cheating heart, apparently, gives Bill Lockyer a sad, so he (allegedly) got in touch with his wife’s boyfriend’s father, and asked this dude’s dad to erase said sex tape from his son’s sexy computer

    I guess you could say there's a meth head to his madness.

    Thank you, I'll be here all week. Try the veal.

    • not that Dewey

      Well, here's another nice meth you've gotten us into!

      • DaRooster

        "This doesn't add up."
        "Well, just do the meth."
        "Oh I get it now."

    • a meth head to his madness

      I'd totally slap you if this wasn't such a beautiful comment…

  • Not_So_Much

    This story is everything that is -right- with the politics of today. sadly.

    • sharethegrief

      The entertainment value is almost worth the price of admission.

  • paris biltong

    California State treasurer? Is that a job? I thought California was flat broke. Obviously has too much time on his hands.

    • BerkeleyBear

      I'm pretty sure Lockyear was the guy who refused to go along with Schwarzenegger's plan to pay government employees minimum wage as an "emergency" measure. As in he literally refused to print the checks. So, actually not a guy deserving of such a psychotic wife – although who knows, maybe the rest of his life balances it out.

  • Schmannnity

    Damn Russian brides. Once they leave the Arctic, they go batshit crazy.

  • chicken_thief

    Needs more tranny tapes and pink dildos.

  • You would think that a meth-head would be grateful to be married to a nurse

  • mrpuma2u

    First things first. I'd hit it.

    Secondly, what did chica expect? That the hook up guy from meth rehab was a one woman kinda man?? Do we have any links to the sexy time stuff?

  • Fukui-sanYesOta

    An hour after sending the Dec. 26 text, Nadia Lockyer sent Chikhani another: "You stole my house key AND a radioshack giftcard,"

    RadioShack still exists?

    • Barb

      Until they invent solar powered dildos, they will always have my sister getting her free"battery of the month" card punched.

      • Dashboard Buddha

        My sister hooked up her dildo to a generator on the hamster cage.

        Good news – nearly free energy
        Bad new – she can't get hot unless she lying on a bed of alfalfa.

        (Edited for your pleasure)

        (Edit #2 – Writing about what my sister needs to get hot made me a little queasy. But for making you folks laugh, no trial is too tough)

        • redarmyzombie

          Duly noted and appreciated.

      • How about a solar powered vibrator?

      • SorosBot

        Someone needs to tell her that they make rechargeable ones now.

      • Geminisunmars

        The trouble with a solar powered dildo is you have to use it outdoors. During the day.

        • HistoriCat

          I don't see the problem – unless you have a fence too tall for us to see over.

    • not that Dewey

      Homer: We'll search out everywhere a sick, twisted, solitary misfit might run to!

      Lisa: I'll start with RadioShack.

      Homer: Right.

    • Why, yes! Survivalists love the fact that they still stock electronic wiring and gadgetry.

  • SudsMcKenzie

    Meth sex tapes or GTFO

  • A heterosexual Republican? That's a first.

    • LesBontemps

      That's cause they're Dems.

  • 2161911

    If this guy was a democrat, Wonkette wouldn't touch this story!

    • Callyson

      He is, actually. Which is what makes it newsworthy–a *Democratic* sex scandal, for a change…

    • MOG2410

      Uh, yeah, he's a Dem, and we "touch" that stuff all the time, heh.

      • LesBontemps

        I'm touching it right now!

    • Chichikovovich

      Of course Wonkette goes with these rare stories about Democrats. The constant drumbeat of meth-fueled, adulterous gay sexytimes that Republicans keep producing does get rather monotonous week after week.

      • Doktor Zoom

        Hey, remember how Wonkette never said a single word about Anthony Weiner, as part of the overall coverup of that story by the lamestream media?

        That's why Weiner, whose idiotically bad judgment broke no actual laws, is still in office, while David Vitter, who merely liked to indulge his diaper fetish with prostitutes, was hounded from office, right?

        • horsedreamer_1

          Vitale has Vitter as a no. 2 seed in the Sam Rayburn Regional.

      • sharethegrief

        This makes me wonder how high Ted Haggerty's misery level is these days.

    • not that Dewey

      In fact, they're not even writing this article that you're commenting on!

    • ShaveTheWhales

      2161911: You should have used sarcasm font.

      • Actually, I assumed they were being, you know, super snarky.

        • Biff

          Could be, could be. I'm usually not so hasty to condemn anyone unless I'm drunk, and that doesn't happen anymore, either, so mea culpa.

          • Sweetie, your strength is as the strength of ten because your heart is pure. (Hugs the Biff)

  • 'Nadia? This story needz moar TruckNutz™.

  • Baconzgood

    The type of girl you would take home to mom. If mom dated Rick James.

    • BaldarTFlagass

      well, she does seems to be a superfreak.

    • Negropolis

      May he rest in funktified piece.

  • sharethegrief

    One more reason that gay marriage threatens the sanctity of hetero marriages.

  • Attractive women just seem to find out early
    How to open doors with more than a smile
    A rich old Demrat
    And she won't have to worry
    She'll dress up all in bad tan lines and go in style

    Late at night a big old house gets lonely
    I guess ev'ry form of refuge has its price
    And it breaks her heart to think her love is
    Only given to a man with hands as cold as ice

    So she tells him she must go out for the evening
    To comfort an old friend who's feelin' down
    But he knows where she's goin' as she's leavin'
    She is headed for the Crystal Meth side of town

    You can't hide your methy eyes
    And your bad teeth is a thin disguise
    I thought by now you'd realize
    There ain't no way to hide your methy eyes

    • MOG2410

      Ah, meth, the great equalizer.

  • RadioCualquier

    Watch out bitch or you'll end up like Whitney Houston.

  • LabRodent

    I thought the only thing Meth addicts had on their minds is how to get more Meth.

  • OneDollarJuana

    How come we never hear of libertarians involved in these sex farces? Oh yeah, cuz they never get any!

  • SorosBot

    And here I thought a non-old woman married to a seventy-year-old man would be perfectly happy with her husband's shriveled wrinkly old penis and not be tempted to go for some lovin' from more vigorous guys her own age.

    • SHADDAP!

      Some of us still have hopes, you know….

  • An_Outhouse

    These are true family values right there. The nice old gent sticks with his slutty, meth smoking, abortion machine of a wife. Mostly because he's a very old gent and does not want to be lonely too.

    Hey, when did Wonkette get all Hallmark Theater on us?

  • LabRodent

    needs moar Republicans!

  • Oblios_Cap

    You takes your chances when you tag a crazy – and she definitely has the crazy eyes. Great sex, but you had better have a mighty good getaway plan.

    • mrpuma2u

      Tru dat. Just say you're going out to score some *insert controlled subtstance street term here* and you'll be "right back."

      • redarmyzombie

        Yeah, but then she'll want you to save her some as well…

    • Barrelhse

      There must be 50 ways to leave your lover.

  • Terry

    The term "Newark Sex Hotel" just plain shouldn't exist.

    • Schmannnity

      Aren't they all?

    • Clearly you've never been on route 1&9 in NJ

    • MosesInvests

      That's probably Newark, CA. Bland East Bay suburb, but not a hellhole like Newark, NJ.

      • redarmyzombie

        The streets here are atrocious, though.

        • horsedreamer_1

          Move to Fremont, which is "basically, a parking lot with a mayor". At least it's paved.

          • Biff

            Newark is surrounded on all sides by Fremont, so nothing to gain until you move far away.

          • redarmyzombie

            They're almost like conjoined twins, really.

          • redarmyzombie

            I'm actually smushed right between the two, so I'm familiar with Fremont as well. Now, the sad thing about Fremont is if one road is down, the whole city is practically gridlocked…

  • prommie

    I'd do meth off her.

    • Fukui-sanYesOta

      Meth-fuelled Nadia Lockyer and Kamala Harris threesome.

  • Pragmatist2

    If this had been a Republican it would have been HE who was having the meth fueled sex with the lowlife boyfriend. And there probably would have been animals involved, or at least dwarves.

  • SayItWithWookies

    Pretty face + crazy eyes = beating up your methhead paramour in a hotel room. It's simple math, people!

    • Oblios_Cap

      Hispanic, Native American and European descent – Yee-Haw! Ride 'em, cowgirl!

    • +1 for expert use of the word "paramour"

  • Callyson

    "there was always something odd" about how Nadia Lockyer campaigned that year. "She always seemed she needed people around her, needed to be coaxed, either Bill or a staffer. She always had to be staffed."
    She's gotta have it…

    • Oblios_Cap

      Hee, hee. You said "staffed".

    • prommie

      I'd staff it.

      • Lascauxcaveman

        Pretty sure her office is overstaffed already, if you know what I mean.

    • SorosBot

      I like a woman who always needs to be staffed.

  • OneYieldRegular

    I wish we could have a real political scandal in the Bay Area. We keep getting these drug/alcohol-fueled domestic melodramas. They're so incremental and niggling, just like everything else in Northern California politics. How about something bold for a change?

    • Generation[redacted]

      Talk about a missed opportunity. They could have gone just down the road and had meth fueled sexytime inside the empty Solyndra factory.

    • redarmyzombie

      Be sure to keep an eye out for the rooftop pumpkin sex scandal.

  • Dashboard Buddha

    tighter, wetter, methier

  • MissTaken

    and he was released from the Santa Clara County Jail late Thursday after being arrested last weekend for alleged drug possession and driving under the influence.

    Rehab, jail stints, meth, sex tapes. Gosh I love romance!

    • SorosBot

      And it's right near your neck of the woods, too. You must be so proud of your local politicians!

      • MissTaken

        I'm so proud I feel like doing some meth off my boyfriend's ass while making a sex tape in a seedy motel.

        • SorosBot

          Oh my, kinky. I'll get the camera ready.

  • BaldarTFlagass

    "she has been having (allegedly) meth-feuled sex-tape sexytime with some dude she met in rehab (because of course), and then she (allegedly) straight-up beat that dude’s ass when it looked like he was still boning other ladies."

    Hell, I'm still in the fucking hospital. Bitch is whack.

  • meatlofer

    Rehab is for QUITTERS!

  • Blueb4sunrise

    At first I thought it was Rover boinking some hottie.

  • HELisforHEL

    …"brawl in a Newark Sex Hotel "

    If the West coast Newark is anything like the East coast one…ewwwwwwwww.

    • GeorgiaBurning

      It pretty much is, except for a nicer mall and less jet noise. But considering the accommodations available, you still need all those "w"'s.

  • LabRodent

    Your heart must beat like crazy during Meth sex. Is it the number one killer of meth addicts? Maybe meth is…..

  • BaldarTFlagass

    My wife is not the issue here. I hope that my wife will someday learn to live on her allowance, which is ample, but if she doesn't, sir, that will be her problem, not mine, just as your rug is your problem, just as every bum's lot in life is his own responsibility regardless of whom he chooses to blame. I didn't blame anyone for the loss of my legs, some Chinaman in Korea took them from me but I went out and achieved anyway. I can't solve your problems, sir, only you can.

    • prommie

      This aggression shall not stand, man.

    • HarryButtle

      Dude, "Chinaman" is not the preferred nomenclature.

    • Lascauxcaveman

      That meth-crazy violent wife really tied the room together, did she not?

      • bagofmice

        Must have matched the curtains.

    • FNMA

      But the rug really tied the room together.

  • Oblios_Cap

    I got the impression that she was the one that got knocked upside the head. Maybe I misread.

    Did anyone read the Rude Pundit yesterday about the Mardi Gras beatdown? That was nuts.

  • BaldarTFlagass

    It's times like these that make me proud to say "Yer goddam right I fucking vote Democratic!!"

  • SorosBot

    After looking up some more pictures of Ms. Lockyear; pleas, Mr. Crazed Methhead Ex?-boyfriend, please for the love of all that is good in the world, please release the sex tape. Pretty please with cherries on top.

    • prommie

      Donde esta?

  • Nopantsmcgee

    I don't get it. This is like one of those jokes that takes 5 minutes to tell and when you're done and have told the punch line people just stare at you like there is suppose to be more.

  • MissTaken

    ♫ They tried to make me go to rehab
    I said
    OH!!!! ♫

    • Guppy

      How'd that turn out?

    • Rehab is for quitters!

      • bagofmice

        Only users lose drugs.

  • BaldarTFlagass

    Sigh. The good women are always already married, gay, or complete psychopaths.

    • MOG2410

      I'll take Door Number Three, thanks.

    • SorosBot

      Two out of three ain't bad.

    • Chichikovovich

      Or complete psychopaths married to complete psychopaths.

    • LesBontemps

      And your complaint is?

    • I'm sorry, this is a problem…how, precisely?

  • Toomush_Infer

    This is what happens at Wonkette while waiting to see if Romney can squeak out Michigan….

  • Guppy

    And he still hasn't divorced her yet?

    Damn, motherfucker has more self-loathing than I do.

    • Take a look at him.

      Now look at her.

      Now look at him again.

      He's never ever in his entire life before this or since going to get a hotter chick.

      • Guppy

        I myself will never get my hands on eye candy like that, but I'm pretty sure I'd start talking to a lawyer and separating bank accounts some time around watching the drug-fueled sex tapes.

        The man doesn't have the self-respect to recognize that she's a gold-digger and he can, in fact, trade her in for the newer model ("Now with more Whore Diamonds!").

      • GOPCrusher

        Just look at those tits!

  • TheRiverCharley

    Don't bother looking for the sex tape online, everybody.


    • Respitetini

      Gentleman and a scholar.

  • Bonzos_Bed_Time

    Due to the low-cut dress in the above picture, it's easy to overlook the crazy. But in a close up, it's evident in Bachmanian proportion.

    • Chichikovovich

      OMIGOD. That pic reminds me of the closing shot in Roman Polanski's Repulsion – the childhood photo on the wall of the woman who's been going crazy throughout the movie, where you realize from the look in her eyes that she's been crazy all her life.

    • Guppy

      She looks disturbingly like certain members of my extended family.

    • Barrelhse

      Nicest teeth I ever came across.

  • MOG2410

    Look'n for love in all the wrong places. Like her rehab room.

  • fuflans

    "You stole my house key AND a radioshack giftcard,"

    them's fighting words.

    • GeorgiaBurning

      especially this close to Silicon Valley

  • HempDogbane

    Brawl in a Newark Sex Hotel is my second-favorite Tom Waits song. First is Christmas Card From a Hooker in Minneapolis.

    • Respitetini

      Nothing like hearing Tom's gravelly baritone wail out "Charlie, I'm pregnant…"

  • Lascauxcaveman

    If you're a dumpy old guy in a semi-important political position you can always get chicks who are:

    – Young
    – Good looking
    – Rich
    – Not insane

    (pick any two)

    • ph7

      Picking the preferred two is alot harder than I thought. I'm going to spend another hour or so thinking this through. And then I'll work on scoring a semi-important political gig.

  • HempDogbane

    In other news, I see Mary Louise Parker and Karl Rove are dating.

    • Biff

      Take that back, now!
      I have no idea who she is, but any woman willing to date rove must be as crazy as a pet 'coon…

      • HempDogbane

        See DaRooster's comment just a few below here.

  • Bonzos_Bed_Time

    Forehead and skin, but those eyes, I think those are what the good lord gave her!

  • BornInATrailer

    If the rule is don't fuck crazy, what is the rule about crazy on meth?

  • LettucePrey

    Srsly, people, this is my 14th year living in SF, and this story is so tame for us, it's barely registering a blip on our local radar.

    • SorosBot

      Another one of you? Why is it that there's so many Wonketters from the bay area, while I don't know of anyone else here from Philly?

    • GeorgiaBurning

      Agreed. But the "sex in Newark" aspect is sort of kinky.

    • horsedreamer_1

      True. Lockyer's old boss was banging the help, then letting the wife co-host a baby shower with her.

  • DaRooster

    Wow… pot really is a gateway drug… but Nancy from Weeds does look pretty good still.

  • mavenmaven

    I stopped reading, and started feeling sorry for myself, when they reported he was 70 and she was 40.

  • MrFizzy

    Here Seamus, here boy!

  • 2161911

    If this guy was a republican, Wonkette wouldn't touch this story.

    • ShaveTheWhales

      Actually, the first time he/she said "if this guy was a democrat,…".

      And nobody got it that time either.

      • Doktor Zoom

        If this wanker was a Whig, no one would upfist this story.

    • bagofmice

      Unless it involved the name wiener.

  • The day after news of the scandal exploded, he answered the door at noon, unshaven and wearing a blue plaid bathrobe.

    Men have a long way to go before they catch up to women on how to play the hurt spouse…

    • SorosBot

      And the fact that he's married to a woman thirty years younger than him makes me a bit less sympathetic than normal for a cheated-on spouse.

  • annettaj

    Soooooo, did all the tapes get erased?
    What? Just askin'.

  • TheRiverCharley

    My wife tells me all the time I'm too nice.

  • chascates

    Her husband, whose illustrious political career has spanned four decades, hunkered down in his home. The day after news of the scandal exploded, he answered the door at noon, unshaven and wearing a blue plaid bathrobe.

    I live my whole life 'hunkered down' then!

  • Bill Lockyer looks like Neelix from Star Trek: Voyager

  • Am I the only one who thinks she looks like Karen Allen?

  • Ok, she's somewhere around an 8 and he's a low 2. What the fuck did he think was going to happen?

    • Bonzos_Bed_Time

      His bank account is a 9.

  • Antispandex

    Ah! At LAST a sex scandal that doesn't involve a Teapublican congressman in a public restroom with a rent boy…wait, it doesn't…does it?

  • elburritodeluxe

    Probably no need to add the 'sex' part between Newark and motel. It's implied.

  • Troglodeity

    The first link sent me to an article with a photo of Nadia. It said "click photo to enlarge." So I did. And I did.

  • Respitetini

    Holy Christ, NoCal. *stands and applauds*

    This is one of those stories that's going to be on Cracked dot com in 10 years in a list of "6 political scandals too fucked up to be believed". Well done. Bravi tutti.

  • HarryButtle

    "The day after news of the scandal exploded, he answered the door at noon, unshaven and wearing a blue plaid bathrobe."

    Awww. That's so sad…she broke him. Now I feel bad that we snarked him.

  • redarmyzombie

    Sad thing is, I live right by Newark, and I can probably narrow down the hotel where all this took place…

  • Tundra Grifter

    For the first time in my adult life, I'm proud of Alameda!

  • BarackMyWorld

    So long as Mary Louise Parker plays her in the made-for-cable movie.

  • Biff

    I just got here, so in case it hasn't been said yet,
    Oh for fuck's sake.

  • horsedreamer_1

    Tupac died too young.

  • glasspusher

    She couldn't handle freedom, man.

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