NEW STUDY PROVES IT  10:03 am February 28, 2012

Science Proves Rich People Are Generally Evil

by Wonkette Jr.

'We took a perfectly useless psychopath like Valentine, and turned him into a successful executive. And during the same time, we turned an honest, hard-working man into a violently, deranged, would-be killer! 'Extremely wealthy people discard their own spouses and children as easily as they discard thousands of factory workers. They feel absolutely no guilt as they scheme and connive, and they will rip off other rich people in massive Ponzi schemes with as little feeling as they’ll rape their housekeepers. The rich strap their supposedly beloved family pets to the top of their expensive cars for days at a time, and find the animal’s resulting terror and diarrhea funny. The rich are different, that’s for sure — they lack morals. This is the not-so-surprising result of a study by scientific academic people at a university somewhere.

ABC News reports:

Scientists at the University of California at Berkeley analyzed a person’s rank in society (measured by wealth, occupational prestige and education) and found that those who were richer were more likely to cheat, lie and break the law than those who were poorer.

“We found that it is much more prevalent for people in the higher ranks of society to see greed and self-interest … as good pursuits,” said Paul Piff, lead author of the study and a doctoral candidate at Berkeley. “This resonates with a lot of current events these days.”

Oh, Berkeley. Whatever, hippies. Rich people get everything because American Jesus-God only loves the 1%. The rest of you can rot in Hell (America 2012). [ABC News]

 

Hola wonkerados.

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{ 238 comments }

actor212 February 28, 2012 at 10:05 am

The Greedy Rich are greedy!

Thanks for pointing that out, Captains Obvious

BlueStateLibel February 28, 2012 at 10:12 am

I actually love this study, because it'll drive wingnuts crazy, as it blows apart the whole the rich-are-selfish job creators, when we all know the word sociopath fits them much better.

actor212 February 28, 2012 at 10:16 am

Really? Berkeley? You think they're going to take this in the least bit seriously?

BerkeleyBear February 28, 2012 at 10:40 am

No, but when the Nobels come out for it in 20-30 years (either in Peace or Economics, somehow) then they'll have to denounce it again.

Callyson February 28, 2012 at 11:42 am

As a proud Berkeley alum, I can assure you that the wingnuts get off on putting UC – Berkeley down on a regular basis. We're right up there with illegal aliens and unwed mothers as the big threats to their good old days that were never so good.
Also–GO BEARS!

tihond February 28, 2012 at 10:06 am

Billionaire Libel!

Barb February 28, 2012 at 10:07 am

They must put something in the glue on food stamps that makes us nicer.

actor212 February 28, 2012 at 10:09 am

DON'T LICK THE GREEN ONES!

Dashboard Buddha February 28, 2012 at 10:10 am

Soylent Green Stamps are PEOPLE!

(does anyone here remember Green Stamps?)

BaldarTFlagass February 28, 2012 at 10:14 am

S&H? Goddam right.

actor212 February 28, 2012 at 10:14 am

They still exist, believe it or not.

Ramon X February 28, 2012 at 11:04 am

My first ex-wife was crazy nuts about them. She bought all kinds of shit to get the stamps so she could go to the green stamp store to trade them in for more shit. I think she really thought she was getting free shit.

Barb February 28, 2012 at 11:17 am

You ex wife sounds like a hoarder. It gave me the hiccups to type that. Clutter makes me crazy.

Remember when we were kids and it was cool to get a prize in our box of Qwisp and Quake cereal? Cracker Jacks used to have decent prizes. Damn, I'm old.

Dashboard Buddha February 28, 2012 at 11:44 am

My mom, too. We would go to the store with a ginormous pile of books and walk out with a transistor radio or something.

Gunner Asch February 28, 2012 at 12:14 pm

Sure. Jesus saves them, after all.

James Michael Curley February 28, 2012 at 12:38 pm

We go to an old Foodtown that still has the S&H logo sign up on the wall.

HELisforHEL February 28, 2012 at 1:05 pm

Got my first Ukulele with them. They were a lifesaver for my 2-jobs each parents. Allowed us to get bikes and other assorted kid crap growing up.

MOG2410 February 28, 2012 at 1:19 pm

You should see my TV trays! S&H vs. Top Value, talk amongst yourselves.

BerkeleyBear February 28, 2012 at 10:42 am

Shhhh! The next thing you know you'll be telling everyone how fluoride in water is making us all compliant.

Geminisunmars February 28, 2012 at 10:47 am

It's a mix of valium and prozac. That's why you can't get me off (of food stamps).

Chichikovovich February 28, 2012 at 11:03 am

It's made from contented horses.

flamingpdog February 28, 2012 at 11:23 am

Mr, Ed, is that you?

BaldarTFlagass February 28, 2012 at 10:08 am

I knew all that already.

Dashboard Buddha February 28, 2012 at 10:08 am

Also, did you know that water is wet?

Seriously, I have always thought that massive wealth could only be gained and held by a competitiveness that bordered on brutality.

actor212 February 28, 2012 at 10:28 am

a competitiveness that bordered on brutality.

Ah, you've worked in the Garment District, I see.

BerkeleyBear February 28, 2012 at 10:44 am

Or with a slumlord. Or a hustling attorney. Or anyone who actually makes partner on track in a major NY or LA law firm. Or a doctor who incorporates him or herself. Not to mention any of those "job creators" running franchise restaurants.

MOG2410 February 28, 2012 at 1:20 pm

Or on most any corporate board.

V572 Flambé February 28, 2012 at 10:52 am

Acquired, yes…behind every great fortune is a great crime, as my old buddy Balzac used to say. Retaining it just requires that you pay the hired help (Chimpy, Mitt, Rick, Mitch) discretely but well.

Chichikovovich February 28, 2012 at 11:08 am

massive wealth could only be gained … by a competitiveness that bordered on brutality

I can tell you that this is 100% true, since I've observed close at hand a couple of families with lots of not-particularly-successful children, and an obscenely rich patriarch/matriarch susceptible to flattery and prone to play favorites.

Chet Kincaid February 28, 2012 at 12:42 pm

That's the commercial where the one heir gets the DirecTV at the reading of the will, right?

Chichikovovich February 28, 2012 at 1:08 pm

Yes, but in this case a more realistic outcome would be that he gets controlling shares in whatever multinational has DirectTV as a subsidiary.—

MaxUdargo February 28, 2012 at 11:30 am

But I thought being wealthy was the result of an unselfish passion for creating jobs.

MOG2410 February 28, 2012 at 1:21 pm

Yes, sweety, now go to bed before the Sandman gets here.

DemmeFatale February 28, 2012 at 10:08 am

*facepalm*

Doktor Zoom February 28, 2012 at 10:08 am

This research builds on the observations in a socioeconomic monograph by Floyd (1973, Harvest Press):

"I'm all right, Jack,
Keep your hands offa my stack
Money, it's a hit
Don't give me that do goody good bullshit"

FNMA February 28, 2012 at 10:17 am

Which one is Pink?

Doktor Zoom February 28, 2012 at 10:26 am

It should be noted that this very ambiguity as to authorial identity led to controversy surrounding the 1973 paper. A number of reviewers also felt that it relied upon key insights by Strong (1959, Tamla Press) ("Money don't get everything it's true / What it don't get I can't use"), without explicitly acknowledging that seminal earlier work.

Ramon X February 28, 2012 at 11:09 am

Both works cited may be considered somewhat derivative in light of Dixon's much earlier work, viz, I ain't broke but I'm badly bent/ Everybody loves them dead presidents.

HempDogbane February 28, 2012 at 10:31 am

The Dark Side of Newt's Moon

YasserArraFeck February 28, 2012 at 12:32 pm

I'd be more worried about the dark center of Newt's Moon…..the large crater known as Mare Santorum.

SorosBot February 28, 2012 at 10:36 am

Although the definitive study was done earlier in 1966 by Harrison et al.:

Have you seen the bigger piggies
In their starched white shirts
You will find the bigger piggies
Stirring up the dirt
Always have clean shirts to play around in.

In their sties with all their backing
They don't care what goes on around
In their eyes there's something lacking
What they need's a damn good whacking.

Everywhere there's lots of piggies
Living piggy lives
You can see them out for dinner
With their piggy wives
Clutching forks and knives to eat their bacon.

BlueStateLibel February 28, 2012 at 10:10 am

But how do the rich TASTE? The masses need to know.

actor212 February 28, 2012 at 10:15 am

Ok, you know how Stilton cheese tastes when you let it burn to the sides of the fondue pot and then try to scrape it out with your gold fork?

Like that, only burnier…

widestanceromance February 28, 2012 at 10:23 am

If you were to lick the inside of a CoinStar machine for a few weeks, that would be about it.

RadioCualquier February 28, 2012 at 10:24 am

How does rich fetus taste?

KeepFnThatChicken February 28, 2012 at 10:33 am

But there's one good thing that happens
When you toss your pearls to swine
Their attitudes may taste like shit,
But go real good with wine.

–Aerosmith, "Eat The Rich"

mrpuma2u February 28, 2012 at 10:44 am

We did cover this earlier, but the old ones are generally kinda tough, so it's best to put them in the crock pot and make billionaire pulled long pork.
http://wonkette.com/451983/jon-huntsman-risks-dep

V572 Flambé February 28, 2012 at 10:54 am

All that time on the polo grounds and in the gym with the personal trainer makes them kinda stringy…about like a housecat might taste.

DaRooster February 28, 2012 at 11:03 am

Ya gotta get the "aged" ones… they have more marbling.

Spurning Beer February 28, 2012 at 11:03 am

They are certainly well marbled.

Steverino247 February 28, 2012 at 11:15 am

Like pork.

Don't ask.

flamingpdog February 28, 2012 at 11:24 am

Soylent greenbacks are PEOPLEZ!!!!

CountryClubJihadi February 28, 2012 at 11:33 am

Like Foie Gras, Botox and an old Topsider, but PLEASE eat them with the right fork.

DCBloom February 28, 2012 at 11:35 am

Not bad if you put enough hot sauce on em

Dashboard Buddha February 28, 2012 at 11:47 am

They taste like duck.

BlueStateLibel February 28, 2012 at 12:01 pm

OK, I have 14 replies to this critical question in my email inbox right now, but where the hell are the RECIPES I need?!

anniegetyerfun February 28, 2012 at 12:26 pm

Well marbled flesh. We're talking veal-quality tenderness.

YasserArraFeck February 28, 2012 at 12:33 pm

Tastes like Koch…….apparently

tessiee February 28, 2012 at 3:13 pm

Old, dusty, and wrinkled; like Koch Bros. dick.

Mumbletypeg February 28, 2012 at 10:10 am

measured by wealth, occupational prestige and education

• Wealth [uncheck]
• Occupational "prestige" [uncheck]
• Education … remind me what this one has to do with the other two?

Guppy February 28, 2012 at 10:30 am

It's measured by the number of campus buildings daddy bought.

tessiee February 28, 2012 at 11:13 am

By "education", that class of people means having gone to a name school (hint: not Berkeley), and "accidentally" dropping that name into the conversation for the next 50 years.

PS. Berkeley is actually a pretty good school, academically; but it's not the kind of school you name-drop at the country club.

BaldarTFlagass February 28, 2012 at 10:11 am

I've posted these lyrics before, but they seem appropriate again.

Livin' way up now in a penthouse high
Our steaks are rare and our martini's dry
Folks below they say it ain't fair
Hell with them, I really don't care
Ain't this the life

Having a party on a big jet plane
I got so drunk that I could feel no pain
Hangin' out in Acapulco,
Drinkin' rum and sniffin' co-co
Pretty senorita look this way
Dancing through the night
Everything's alright
Girlfriend and a wife
Ain't this the life, Ain't this the life

Tropical island in the deep blue sea
The natives are friendly and the lobster's free
Sipping cognac like a French king
Plenty of room, I own the whole thing
Ain't this the life

Think I'll go out now on a shopping spree
Breakfast in New York, dinner in Paree
Hangin' out with Lynn and Suzie
Have a massage and a jacuzzi
Climb into bed and see what's on TV
Dancing through the night
Everything's alright
Girlfriend and a wife . . .
Ain't this the life, Ain't this the life

LetUsBray February 28, 2012 at 10:12 am

Nullum stercus, Sherlock.

I expect a big reason why the stinking rich are so eager to break the law is that the consequences for doing so are negligible for them.

HuddledMass February 28, 2012 at 11:54 am

That's mentioned in the study – no repercussions if you can buy your way out of the consequences.

Schmannnity February 28, 2012 at 10:12 am

University study? What snobs.

chicken_thief February 28, 2012 at 10:20 am

UC Berkeley, of all places. Can you say librul soshulist commie indoctrination institution. Probably funded by Pelosi!!!!

nonbeliever7 February 28, 2012 at 10:30 am

Makes me want to throw up!

tessiee February 28, 2012 at 11:19 am

^^
^
It's even worse than you think.
He went to Reed for undergrad.

paris biltong February 28, 2012 at 10:12 am

Piff's got it ass backward: it's precisely by cheating, lying and breaking the law that you BECOME rich, not the other way around. Ask anyone.

Chichikovovich February 28, 2012 at 10:45 am

I eagerly await the next Berkeley study that proves fat people have a tendency to eat more and exercise less or that possessing the property of being destined for death in a crash prompts people to drive carelessly and too fast.

paris biltong February 28, 2012 at 11:02 am

Causality casualties.

Baconzgood February 28, 2012 at 10:12 am

In all fairness if I could cheat, lie, break the law and get away with it because I was rich I'd do it alot more. ALOT more.

north_of_moscow February 28, 2012 at 10:13 am

Don't worry, nice people, at least we can look forward to Heaven.

FNMA February 28, 2012 at 10:18 am

In heaven, everything is fine!

HELisforHEL February 28, 2012 at 1:13 pm

My favorite quote from that. We sing it around the house when bad shit happens.

SorosBot February 28, 2012 at 10:30 am

If only that existed. But we can look forward to being the ones wielding the guillotine, not losing our heads to it.

LesBontemps February 28, 2012 at 10:36 am

Can we start now?

How 'bout now?

Now?

Guppy February 28, 2012 at 10:32 am

I can't afford the indulgence.

tessiee February 28, 2012 at 11:20 am

*poorly suppressed snorty laugh*
Um, yeah, Heaven. Sure, why not?

Goonemeritus February 28, 2012 at 10:13 am

If Rich people wanted laws and social morays to apply to them they wouldn’t have taken the time to get rich in the first place.

paris biltong February 28, 2012 at 10:24 am

Would I be nitpicking excessively if I were to point out that morays are eels? Mores can be slippery too.

widestanceromance February 28, 2012 at 10:28 am

That's a moray!

FNMA February 28, 2012 at 10:38 am

Eel libel?

tessiee February 28, 2012 at 11:21 am

*sings*
When a gigantic eel takes a bite of your heel, that's a moray…

IonaTrailer February 28, 2012 at 12:43 pm

When our habits are strange
And our customs deranged
That's our mores.

When your horse munches straw
And the bales total four
That's some more hay.

When Othello's poor wife
She gets stabbed with a knife
That's a Moor, eh?

IonaTrailer February 28, 2012 at 12:39 pm

"Put your head in a cave,
If you're feeling real brave,
That's a moray….."

Chichikovovich February 28, 2012 at 10:46 am

O tempura, o morays.

paris biltong February 28, 2012 at 10:58 am

Or sushi.

Goonemeritus February 28, 2012 at 11:05 am

Spell check doesn’t correct stupid, when it does my decision to spend English class trying to subconsciously will my teacher to have sex with me will be venerated.

actor212 February 28, 2012 at 11:24 am

What? You've never seen social morays?

I scuba dive, and they're really cool. They get all decked out in evening gowns and tuxes and you can see them hop onto the nearest manta ray for a ride over to the cotillion.

unclejeems February 28, 2012 at 12:11 pm

Please, sir, may I have morays?

YasserArraFeck February 28, 2012 at 12:40 pm

I'm goin' out in the sun to catch some mo' rays

mrpuma2u February 28, 2012 at 10:14 am

In other shocking news, lead is toxic, it hurts when you slam your finger in the door, and if you wish in one hand and crap in the other, one fills up much faster.

Also, Scott Walker has given several rim jobs to the Koch demons.

FNMA February 28, 2012 at 10:14 am

So rich people are sociopaths? Who knew?

SoBeach February 28, 2012 at 12:55 pm

I've read that Anti-Social Personality Disorder shows up in 2% to 5% of the general population. I wouldn't be the least bit surprised if it's ten times that rate among certain types of rich people. Conscience and empathy are liabilities in our current business and political environment.

paris biltong February 28, 2012 at 10:14 am

Piff is just fapping.

FakaktaSouth February 28, 2012 at 10:14 am

As the (also rich thanks in part to a guy who couldn't deal with being rich) Fighter of Foo Dave Grohl once said –

"Dick is short for Richard, and Rich is short for Richard too. So rich people are dicks"

And as Stephen Colbert pointed out last night, poors are dicks too, like our snobby Pres –
"Pardon me your highness but some of us weren't handed a ticket to Harvard by being the bi-racial son of a single mother on food stamps"

YasserArraFeck February 28, 2012 at 12:41 pm

so, "Rich Dick" is a redundancy…like "Drunken Irishman", or "Blowhard Gingrich"?

sbj1964 February 28, 2012 at 10:15 am

Someone once said" It is easier for a camel to pass through an eye of a needle than for a rich man to enter heaven."

nonbeliever7 February 28, 2012 at 10:32 am

Sounds like Mohammad…….or maybe Hitler?

Ruhe February 28, 2012 at 10:33 am

So you hear that as a kid and you sort of picture the issue being that somehow a rich man dragging along all his sacks of money is actually bulkier than a camel and so that's why he can't get in. And you're like, that's so dumb, just drop the bags fat guy and walk in. But later you really get it. Oh, it's about how he got the money…not the money itself. Okay.

Mumbletypeg February 28, 2012 at 11:08 am

That's interesting; I grew up hearing all kinds of interpretations of this verse & yours is the one that's stuck with me longest. i.e., Having your hands free of baggage enables you to fit through the passage which is "narrow" or described thusly to convey the significance of how many will be unwilling to leave behind material (e.g. temporal, of transient nature, not comin' with us into any alternate state of being) that one has become attached to, even to the point of forsaking a reward in heaven.
At some point during my Christian-school upbringing upon digesting some Old Testament scripture I amended Jesus' admonishment's concept in my noggin to include your hands should be free to "pluck from the fire" any unlucky suckers ("burning sticks") you felt sorry for.

Boojum_Reborn February 28, 2012 at 4:05 pm

In Aramaic, the word for "camel" (גמלא) is spelled identically to the word for "rope" (גמלא). The camel bit is probably a bad translation.

tessiee February 28, 2012 at 11:24 am

"And you're like, that's so dumb, just drop the bags fat guy and walk in. But later you really get it. Oh, it's about how he got the money…not the money itself. Okay."

Not disagreeing, just pointing out that 99% (heh) of the rich people I've met wouldn't be willing to drop their sacks of money, even if it meant not getting into heaven.

Telemarketing scam: For one dollar, you can have eternal happiness.
Mr. Burns: I'd rather have the dollar.

Guppy February 28, 2012 at 10:34 am

And they nailed him to a tree.

Doktor Zoom February 28, 2012 at 10:34 am

And then some asshole decided to make up a story about a nonexistent landmark in Jerusalem, so that it was only a tight squeeze instead of a virtual impossibility.

grex1949 February 28, 2012 at 10:36 am

About 35 years ago, I was invited (by my senior partner) to attend a meeting of the Fellowship of Christian Athletes when I was in my late '20's. The gathering was at an exclusive social club downtown. Everyone there was a very big fish in our medium-sized-pond midwestern city. Much time was spent justifying, through scripture, their accumulation of wealth. I also remember some attempts to justify second (and and sometimes third) marriages. The discussion kept returning to the "good steward" mandate, the parable of the talents, and a couple of others I can't recall.
That may have been the beginning of my interest in Atheism, for obvious reasons.

tessiee February 28, 2012 at 11:26 am

"a meeting of the Fellowship of Christian Athletes [...] Everyone there was a very big fish"

I see what you did there.

BigDumbRedDog February 28, 2012 at 10:51 am

Not if the rich guy cuts off everyone else on the way freeway enterance to heaven.

SorosBot February 28, 2012 at 11:00 am

Then bribes the gatekeeper to get let in first.

BigDumbRedDog February 28, 2012 at 11:11 am

Then spends the whole time bitching about how none of the hot women in heaven will talk to him, but its okay because they're a bunch of skanks.

Boojum_Reborn February 28, 2012 at 4:04 pm

In Aramaic, the word for "camel" (גמלא) is spelled identically to the word for "rope" (גמלא). The camel bit is probably a bad translation.

BaldarTFlagass February 28, 2012 at 10:15 am

A toast! Here's looking down at you, kid!

Mumbletypeg February 28, 2012 at 10:16 am

We've had recent reminders that cruelty, on the other hand, is an equal opportunity endeavor capably administered by trailer trash.

tessiee February 28, 2012 at 11:32 am

Disgusting story.

There's a "joke" about a hillbilly family with ten kids. One of them falls through the ice on a pond. They try to pull him out but don't have any ropes long enough to reach. Finally, they tell him, "Sorry, Billy Bob, but at this point, it's just easier to make another one of you".

Oh, yeah, you notice this poor child's "mother" has a new baby?

EloquentScience February 28, 2012 at 10:18 am

Science rocks!

BaldarTFlagass February 28, 2012 at 10:18 am

"All fellow members of the Roman senate hear me. Shall we continue to build palace after palace for the rich? Or shall we aspire to a more noble purpose and build decent housing for the poor? How does the senate vote?"

"FUCK THE POOR! "

sbj1964 February 28, 2012 at 10:21 am

History of the world part 2. Great movie.Mel Brooks Rules !

donner_froh February 28, 2012 at 10:19 am

The wingnuts who get by on slightly over poverty level income will believe it is a slander against rich (white) people cooked up by some pointy-headed intellectuals.

Lucidamente1 February 28, 2012 at 10:20 am

Money isn't everything, Mortimer.

Oh, grow up.

Mother always said you were greedy.

She meant it as a compliment.

memzilla February 28, 2012 at 10:20 am

As JP Getty said, "The Meek shall inherit the Earth — but not the mineral rights."

tessiee February 28, 2012 at 11:35 am

As the musical "Camelot" said, "It's not the earth the meek inherit, it's the dirt".

ManchuCandidate February 28, 2012 at 10:21 am

But but but but black people, hippies, and illegals!!

chicken_thief February 28, 2012 at 10:24 am

And the Muslins! Can't forget the Muslins cramming their Sharia Law down our throats.

Boojum_Reborn February 28, 2012 at 4:07 pm

Is Sharia law like a big Koch?

Goonemeritus February 28, 2012 at 10:21 am

We need to get back at these bastards once and for all and I know just how to do it. Let’s just randomly pick a date that we all stop taking payment in currency and take it instead in something poor people have a lot of. Overnight rich people would be poor and poor people would be rich than everyone would have a chance to be a cheating douche for awhile.

actor212 February 28, 2012 at 10:27 am

Let’s just randomly pick a date that we all stop taking payment in currency and take it instead in something poor people have a lot of.

Lint? Boogers? Bedbugs?

tessiee February 28, 2012 at 11:38 am

Fetuses!

I vote for a fetus based economy if for no other reason than how much it would aggravate Santorum.

ManchuCandidate February 28, 2012 at 10:27 am

Double Stuffed Oreos!!

LesBontemps February 28, 2012 at 10:42 am

Cheetos, duh.

actor212 February 28, 2012 at 11:14 am

Too many right wing bloggers would have access, and haev already stocked up

Chichikovovich February 28, 2012 at 10:50 am

stop taking payment in currency and take it instead in something poor people have a lot of

Hunger, disease and misery?

Goonemeritus February 28, 2012 at 11:01 am

I was thinking of an economy based on hair lice or CRT televisions. Granted it might be a little incontinent to pay for lunch with a 1973 Sony Trinitron but sacrifices need to be made.

tessiee February 28, 2012 at 11:38 am

"Granted it might be a little
incontinent
to pay for lunch with a 1973 Sony Trinitron"

Whatever it is that you're eating for lunch, you might want to think about changing it.

Guppy February 28, 2012 at 12:40 pm

I'm the only kid on my block with a CRT HDTV. I stand by my decision.

SayItWithWookies February 28, 2012 at 10:57 am

"That's all you've got — lentils?"

DocChaos February 28, 2012 at 11:04 am

Resentment? Despair? Disillusionment?

Wall street will figure out a way to commodify these things and leverage their investments in them in order to game the market.

Once again – the poor lose. That's why they are poor.

tessiee February 28, 2012 at 11:36 am

I don't really want Truck Nutz.

tessiee February 28, 2012 at 11:37 am

Cedar cheez? Wite Kasuls? Cakes we like?

donner_froh February 28, 2012 at 10:22 am

Just more class warfare from the Obamacaring socialists. (If only that were true).

weej_bain February 28, 2012 at 10:22 am

You aren't Koch teasing us are you Wonkette Jr.?

chicken_thief February 28, 2012 at 10:22 am

Easy folks. I swear – I was jes' protecting the little tykes from rotting their teeth!!!!

chascates February 28, 2012 at 10:24 am

You can cheat, lie and break the law and still be poor. BELIEVE ME!

The rich just got a better start than the rest of us.

joshleefolsom February 28, 2012 at 10:42 am

Or they're more skilled at it, which makes this a meritocracy after all!

chascates February 28, 2012 at 10:46 am

Damn it! THAT's the reason!!?!

widestanceromance February 28, 2012 at 10:24 am

It isn't easy being mean, my friends.

memzilla February 28, 2012 at 10:25 am

Let's all move to France — pour La Wonkette! BBC: "The Socialist favourite in France's presidential election, Francois Hollande, has said top earners should pay 75% of their income in tax."

Guppy February 28, 2012 at 10:37 am

Continental Europe: a different fucking planet.

banana_bread February 28, 2012 at 12:15 pm

Hell, the top tax rate here was 77% as late as 1964.

James Michael Curley February 28, 2012 at 12:52 pm

But a person had almost as many tax deductions as a corporation has now.

paris biltong February 28, 2012 at 10:52 am

Roughly 3,000 persons earn more than 1.5 million euros in France, which isn't really a lot given the total population of more than 60 million. They pay about 17.5 of their income in tax at this time. Hollande's proposal is to tax earnings in excess of 1 million euros at 75%. It's a bit difficult for the other parties to object and so far their main argument is that the individuals concerned would more to Switzerland or the US. Good riddance.

Mumbletypeg February 28, 2012 at 11:32 am

Thank you paris. Cela est si interessante~

tessiee February 28, 2012 at 11:41 am

"their main argument is that the individuals concerned would more to Switzerland or the US. Good riddance."

In other words, after 30 years of a race to the bottom, our once great country has become the third-world sweatshop/tax shelter for people from civilized countries.
Thanks a lot, Reaganomics. You've really given us an America to be proud of.

[and by "proud", I mean "sad, angry, and sickened with shame"]

DaSandman February 28, 2012 at 10:25 am

All the more reason to strip them of their wealth, they probably stole it.

memzilla February 28, 2012 at 10:27 am

‘‘When a man tells you that he got rich through hard work, ask him: ‘whose?’’’ – Don Marquis

ManchuCandidate February 28, 2012 at 10:31 am

Behind every great fortune is a great crime.

forgracie February 28, 2012 at 10:26 am

F. Scott Fitzgerald was way ahead of his time…and a heavy drinker (or so I hear).

BaldarTFlagass February 28, 2012 at 10:26 am

"What's wrong with having it good for a change? Now they're gonna let us have it good if we just help 'em. They're gonna leave us alone, let us make some money. You can have a little taste of that good life too. Now, I know you want it. Hell, everybody does."
"You'd do it to your own kind."
"What's the threat? We all sell out every day, might as well be on the winning team. "

Chichikovovich February 28, 2012 at 10:41 am

I'm givin' you a choice. Either put on these glasses or start eatin' that trashcan.

not that Dewey February 28, 2012 at 10:43 am

I'm all out of gum.

Baconzgood February 28, 2012 at 11:15 am

I figured it'd be something like this.

actor212 February 28, 2012 at 11:14 am

I totally <3 They Live

tessiee February 28, 2012 at 11:47 am

I'd love it a lot more if it weren't a documentary.
Same with Idiocracy.

RedneckMuslin February 28, 2012 at 10:29 am

That describes me. Hot Damn! I'm rich and didn't know it!

RadioCualquier February 28, 2012 at 10:30 am

Berkeley, really? I thought they would be researching vegetable mists.

Chichikovovich February 28, 2012 at 10:30 am

Reminds me of a radio call in show I listened to on WTKA in Pittsburgh many years ago. In the preceding days Dennis Rodman had collided with a photographer while chasing a loose ball and while they were both on the floor, angrily kicked him in the crotch. Rodman's representatives then paid the guy some chunk of money to go away and not sue. Some guy calls in to the radio host and asks the host "Is this the message we want to send to our kids? That if you're rich you can just kick someone in the crotch and get away with it?" Host replies: "I hope that's what we're teaching them. Because it's true."

tessiee February 28, 2012 at 11:53 am

I agree (or disagree), but really — Dennis Rodman?
Wasn't Dennis Rodman's whole schtick that he was a bad boy, a wild man, a loose cannon?
It seems not entirely consistent to make big bucks selling tickets to watch somebody like that play, and then clutch your pearls because your pet crazy person ends up behaving like a crazy person. What did they expect — a wild man with good sportsmanship and lovely manners?

Chet Kincaid February 28, 2012 at 1:36 pm

No, his schtick was to rebound the fucking basketball and throw it out to Isaiah Thomas, Michael Jordan or Scottie Pippen, and play great defense. That's what sold tickets, not Dennis Rodman dressing up in a wedding gown. Basketball is not football, where violence and craziness is inseparable from gameplay. On-court mayhem has gotten shut down and cleaned up in basketball, which most everyone agrees is a good thing. And neither fans nor teams are interested in the Allen Iverson types anymore, the guys who are talented but have no respect for the game.

tessiee February 28, 2012 at 3:19 pm

As a Sports-Free-American (no, seriously; I don't know which end of the racket you hold), I defer to the superior knowledge of that great comedy team, Chich and Chet. Those of us who are sports-impaired knew Dennis Rodman only by his off-court persona.

Chichikovovich February 28, 2012 at 4:56 pm

Did you know that last night I posted a message to Chet in my pyjamas?

Edit: P.S: new revelation in the religion in the reply to imissopus just below this reply. Let me know if you have heard any conflicting messages. You know how Chantal – Thérèse likes to have her fun.

Chet Kincaid February 28, 2012 at 6:30 pm

Oh Jeez, I totally mansplained that, didn't I? Sorry about that!

imissopus February 28, 2012 at 12:39 pm

What about if kicking someone in the nuts is the core tenet of your religious faith, a la the religion you and Tessiee are going to start that demands adherents kick Rick Santorum in the nuts?

Chichikovovich February 28, 2012 at 1:07 pm

Ah, that's a good point. We'll have to craft our doctrines carefully (I mean we'll have to hope that Chantal-Thérèse** reveals to us doctrines that ensure) to make sure that Rodman doesn't become one of our saints.

** Raven Rant and I had a post-conversation that made me realize that it might still be improper and thoughtless to use Gitche Manitou as our god, even though as far as I know no worshipers remain. But a revelation came to me that Tessiee and I were not in communication with Gitche Manitou at all, but rather the adopted sister Chantal – Thérèse Manitou, who we'll just call Chantal – Thérèse. The fact that these are names of two high-school girlfriends is just one of those striking coincidences that forms of religious worship often feature.

HuddledMass February 28, 2012 at 1:25 pm

Also teach kids to not let those rich people near their candy–

"I was astonished," Piff said. "On average, people in the upper rank condition took two times as much (candy from children), so it was a pretty sizeable effect".

Gratuitous World February 28, 2012 at 10:31 am

The implication is that Michael Jordan pushed off on Brian Russell in the '98 Finals. which is just bullshit sour grapes.

ManchuCandidate February 28, 2012 at 10:32 am

I guess I owe you one dollar, Mortimer.

SorosBot February 28, 2012 at 10:33 am

But remember, it's those stuffy liberal college professors who are the elitists, not the super-rich motherfucking sociopaths!

tessiee February 28, 2012 at 11:55 am

yeah, since knowledge and education have no value, the only reason they could be anywhere near a college is to pretend they're better than the rest of us, amirite?

smitallica February 28, 2012 at 10:34 am

Rich people tend to think the rules don't apply to them.

They tend to think this because the rules clearly don't apply to them.

Ruhe February 28, 2012 at 10:35 am

Oh, nice work, Hippies! So now winning is evil! Tell that to the Yankees…oh, right.

Doktor Zoom February 28, 2012 at 10:37 am

Actually, I kind of like the research design:

In the first of two studies, researchers found that those who drove more expensive cars (an admittedly questionable indicator of economic worth) were more likely to cut off other cars and pedestrians at a busy San Francisco four-way intersection than those who drove older, less-expensive vehicles.

In other experiments, wealthier study participants were more likely to admit they would behave unethically in a variety of situations and lie during negotiations. In another, researchers found wealthier people were more likely to cheat in an online game to win a $50 prize.

Also, in all seriousness: research that quantifies "stuff that everybody knows already" through a testable, replicable experiment is not necessarily a waste of time. Hell, if more people actually were exposed to experimental refutations of what seems like common sense, we wouldn't have idiots who think there's no gravity on the moon–i.e., the "Heavy Boots" Fallacy

Chichikovovich February 28, 2012 at 10:57 am

Ah, maudit 'ostie. That was their research design? People who have more money are less worried about damage to their cars and lawsuits? People with faster, more manageable cars are more likely to cut other people off than people driving clunkers with manual steering and brakes?

I'm glad I went into the professoring trade. Because between Newt and this study it appears that to do well you don't really need to be too bright.

Guppy February 28, 2012 at 11:47 am

I've learned repeatedly in the past to never get into an internet debate about personal driving habits, but I will ask this: is it even possible to buy a new car without power steering and brakes stateside anymore?

Chichikovovich February 28, 2012 at 11:54 am

I expect it isn't – I was thinking about people driving 20 year old cars they had bought when the cars were just 18 years old.—

tessiee February 28, 2012 at 12:04 pm

In 2008, I bought what is apparently the last new car in America that does NOT have power doors and windows, and I had to argue with the salesman to get that.
Salesman: You really should have power doors and windows.
Me: Do they cost extra?
Salesman: [mumble]yes.
Me [not really wanting them, but figuring I'd take them if it cost like 10 bucks]: How *much* extra?
Salesman: [mumble]eighteenhundreddollars.
Me: Yeah, then no.

tessiee February 28, 2012 at 11:58 am

"those who drove more expensive cars [...] were more likely to cut off other cars and pedestrians at a busy San Francisco four-way intersection than those who drove older, less-expensive vehicles."

A very dear friend of mine used to drive an old, beat-up clunker, which we affectionately referred to as "The Limo". She drove like a nut, bless her heart, and cut off anybody she felt like, because, "what are they gonna do? Their paint job cost more than the book value on the Limo".

proudgrampa February 28, 2012 at 12:58 pm

We all know the truth: there is no gravity, the earth sucks.

BaldarTFlagass February 28, 2012 at 10:38 am

"Science Proves Rich People Are Generally Evil"

Generally, genetically, and genitally.

IncenseDebate February 28, 2012 at 10:39 am

Since when did Berkeley researchers start following Jesus' message regarding rich people?

JustPixelz February 28, 2012 at 10:39 am

"…richer were more likely to cheat, lie and break the law than those who were poorer."

Finally an explanation for why so many rich people are in prison!

subsum February 28, 2012 at 10:40 am

I like it here in Michigan! The trees–the trees have the right height; I like trees. I like cars too …

Beowoof February 28, 2012 at 10:45 am

No shit, I hadn't noticed what assholes they really are. Thanks, now I know all that rich guy tax money spent on this research was invested well.

tessiee February 28, 2012 at 12:15 pm

It's actually kind of satisfying to see something like this scientifically measured, as though I'm not imagining the whole thing, or a sore loser, or whatever denial the 1% and their minions are using this week.

BigDumbRedDog February 28, 2012 at 10:45 am

"Scientists" like these are giving actual scientists a bad name.

BigDumbRedDog February 28, 2012 at 10:49 am

"In the first of two studies, researchers found that those who drove more expensive cars (an admittedly questionable indicator of economic worth) were more likely to cut off other cars and pedestrians at a busy San Francisco four-way intersection than those who drove older, less-expensive vehicles."

This just in; Douchebags are douchy.

Jerri February 28, 2012 at 10:49 am

Study to be published in the "No Shit Sherlock Review of Behavioral Medicine Quarterly" spring edition.

An_Outhouse February 28, 2012 at 10:57 am

"those who were richer were more likely to cheat, lie and break the law than those who were poorer."

Maybe they have that cause/effect thing backward. Did it ever occur to them that dishonest people make more money and are held in higher regard in society than honest people? Yeah, Judeo-Christian country. You're doing it wrong.

TheRiverCharley February 28, 2012 at 10:58 am

Well, considering the front page ad has informed me that I am "today's winner," you all can expect me to be masturbating all over everything everywhere* the moment I collect my WINNINGS.

*What? Masturbating all over everything everywhere is pretty much the pinnacle of privileges afforded the rich. Don't look at me. I don't make the rules. Yet.

BaldarTFlagass February 28, 2012 at 11:01 am

I guess when it comes to the rest of us, the rich are the honey badgers of the human race. They just don't give a shit.

SayItWithWookies February 28, 2012 at 11:02 am

This just goes to show that when sociologists reach the truth, they usually run into a waitress who's been there all along.

vulpes82 February 28, 2012 at 11:02 am

Not to be a 1% apologist, but there are lots of perfectly nice, decent rich people. It's just, you know, they're not assholes, so no one cares about them.

And it's easier to be greedy and callous when you don't need support. When you can just throw money without worry, you don't need a support network of mutual understanding and empathy.

Boojum_Reborn February 28, 2012 at 4:14 pm

That's the point of the study, to show there really is a measurable difference.

johnnyzhivago February 28, 2012 at 11:04 am

Rich people may be uncaring and conniving, but not as much as my cats.

Guppy February 28, 2012 at 11:50 am

What kind of car does your cat drive?

tessiee February 28, 2012 at 12:12 pm

it's true that most of the rich people whom I have known personally did NOT walk on my lap and shove their buttholes in my face when I was sitting on the couch trying to read.
I said "most".

LagunaB February 28, 2012 at 11:05 am

My husband worked for koch industries. At xmas we received a letter from the family. What a paranoidal, sociopathic rant that was. In 2007, before we elected a blah man for prez. Yeah, happy xmas to you too.
Plus I know some dirty secrets. Just waiting for the right time.

BaldarTFlagass February 28, 2012 at 11:09 am

"Plus I know some dirty secrets. Just waiting for the right time. "

If you never post here again, we'll know why.

Fukui-sanYesOta February 28, 2012 at 11:26 am

Damn, so they've been doing that for a while. I'd really like to see that card.

They did it before the midterms as well.

LagunaB February 28, 2012 at 11:50 am

My husband plans and builds chemical plants. Everything you hear about how bad chemical plants are is true. He finds buried drums full of nasty shit when he works on plant expansions.

Boojum_Reborn February 28, 2012 at 4:15 pm

Cooper Tools. Savannah.

neiltheblaze February 28, 2012 at 11:10 am

Ayn Rand is looking up from Hell with an obsidian heart full of pride!

Oblios_Cap February 28, 2012 at 12:23 pm

Ayn who?

SorosBot February 28, 2012 at 11:11 am

I've been reading the comments at ABC; it's a pleasant surprise that a lot are reasonable, but there's a bunch of rich bastard apologists too, and the most common refrain is a variation on "this is from Berkeley so it must be stupid". I was like, wait, Berkeley's one of the top schools in the country – then realized that, oh yeah, this is just more of that "San Francisco values" culture war bullshit.

tessiee February 28, 2012 at 11:15 am

I've met these people. I've worked for these people. The one thing that stands out is that:

THEY REALLY DO THINK THEY'RE BETTER THAN THE REST OF US.

They really believe that, right down to the rotten cores of their hollow little souls. Every injustice, every atrocity, every dehumanizing little snit — the belief that *they are better than the rest of us* is the basis and the reason for everything that's wrong with the ultra rich.

actor212 February 28, 2012 at 11:16 am

Brother, life's a bitch… and she's back in heat.

Redhead February 28, 2012 at 11:30 am

You mean… you mean the American Dream of reaching prosperity by working hard and being a good person is only achievable if I also act like a huge dick?

tessiee February 28, 2012 at 11:33 am

So, exactly *how* does this affect the fetuses?

Geminisunmars February 28, 2012 at 11:43 am

Crass Warfare!

hagajim February 28, 2012 at 11:50 am

The rich lie and cheat and steal more than the poor because white collar crime carries little to zero punishment while blue collar crime will get your ass tossed in the slammer pronto.

tessiee February 28, 2012 at 12:19 pm

Not that I expect these pricks to take a study that was done at Berkeley seriously — or any study that doesn't confirm their idiotic prejudices and inflated egos, for that matter — but if this gets any traction, Paul Piff had better have Mrs. Piff start the car in the mornings — you know, just in case.

anniegetyerfun February 28, 2012 at 12:24 pm
crybabyboehner February 28, 2012 at 12:37 pm

Diarrhea is always funny!

tessiee February 28, 2012 at 8:11 pm

So are dicks, boogers, and farts; is there any dick, booger, or fart-related data in the study?

ttommyunger February 28, 2012 at 12:38 pm

Just goes to show that the Berserkly University Edjumicated Perfessors don't know shit about the real world. I've been a lying, conniving, stealing, killing sociopath my whole 70+ years and I've never even been close to being rich, so there.

James Michael Curley February 28, 2012 at 1:18 pm

That's because you got the order of battle all wrong. Its

1. Connive
2. Lie – you can't effective lie without a good scheme.
3. Steal – after a few years of doing it right, this step is called Con
4. Sociopathic behavior – promoted by paranoia
5. Kill all the witnesses.

ttommyunger February 28, 2012 at 5:18 pm

Forgot to mention, I'm dyslexic, too.

DahBoner February 28, 2012 at 12:47 pm

Are people who lie, steal and cheat to get richer actually PRODUCING anything?

Sounds like they are Ayn Rand's LOOTERS and PARASITES…

CommieLibunatic February 28, 2012 at 1:01 pm

Hell, when they talked about this on KPCC this morning, they mentioned a second test where participants were told to hold a container of candy for a supposed test with children in another office. And to everybody/nobody's surprise, the richer folks swiped more from the jar while nobody was looking.

Let me say that again, in smaller words: The rich people literally took candy from babies.

SorosBot February 28, 2012 at 1:14 pm

So they really are all just like Mr. Burns.

CommieLibunatic February 28, 2012 at 1:28 pm

The Truth is elusive, but also right in front of us.

tessiee February 28, 2012 at 8:12 pm

That sounds like a larf.

actor212 February 28, 2012 at 11:23 am

Is that an onion on your belt or are you just happy to see me?

Dashboard Buddha February 28, 2012 at 11:43 am

I would pick my cereal through a complex process whereby I weighed the tastiness of the cereal against the coolness of the prize. For instance, Captain Crunch, while tasty, made my mouth feel like I had been chewing fiberglass. In that case, CC would have to have a friggin' AWESOME prize.

Hell, I have bought cars using less rigor.

redarmyzombie February 28, 2012 at 3:39 pm

Lucky you. Every Cracker Jack box I opened gave me nothing but a lousy sticker.

tessiee February 28, 2012 at 7:49 pm

"Did you know that last night I posted a message to Chet in my pyjamas?"

Does this involve both of you in your jammies, eating chocolate out of a heart-shaped box, on opposite sides of a diagonal line? Because if so, then you're both teen-aged girls. Ideally, you should both be chatting on Princess phones, but I suppose texting is trendier:

"OMG, Rick is SUCH a dork! I totally H8 him! Let's totally not let him sit at our table at lunch 2morrow!"
"OK. What are U wearing to Amy's party Sat nite?"

Chichikovovich February 28, 2012 at 7:56 pm

Um. Uh. I meant to say that I shot him in my pyjamas.—

tessiee February 28, 2012 at 7:58 pm

Nah, I didn't take it that way at all.
Since I don't follow sports, I have no idea what actually sells tickets.
I was going by Peter Bagge's "Asshole Theory", which states, "The bigger an asshole you are, or act like, the more of a success you'll be in your chosen field".

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