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Nebraskan Who Said Funny Thing About Rick Santorum Will Run For Senate

Former Nebraska Sen. Bob Kerrey has changed his mind and will run for Ben Nelson’s Senate seat! He, like Nelson, is an annoying centrist deficit whiner, but (a) at least he’s not horrible old Ben Nelson and (b) he is capable of winning the seat. Oh and (c), he once said this about then-newbie Senator Rick Santorum: “Santorum, that’s Latin for asshole.”

About the author

Jim Newell is Wonkette's beloved Capitol Hill Typing Demon. He joined Wonkette.com in 2007, left for some other dumb job in 2010, and proudly returned in 2012 as our "Senior Editor at Large." He lives in Washington and also writes for things such as The Guardian, the Manchester paper of liberals.

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  • edgydrifter

    Wario is dead! Long live Waluigi!

  • ChernobylSoup

    He's already got a leg up on the competition.

    • http://www.wonkette.com/ FlownOver

      Too soon, forever!

      • LionHeartSoyDog

        If Cherny's above reference was to peeing on Santorum's head,
        Never too Soon, Forever!

        (Yeah i know Kerrey dances funny).

    • HempDogbane

      He said this: "What can I say – she swept me off my foot," about Debra Winger.

  • bureaucrap

    Perhaps during his time as president/chancellor/provost/dean/whatever of the New School, some Greenwich Village New York Jewish knee-jerk bleeding-heart liberalism rubbed off on him. We can only hope.

  • emmelemm

    I love him already. (re: "Santorum is an asshole")

  • http://simplyleftbehind.blogspot.com/ actor212

    The New Improved Kerrey! With Extra "E"!

  • bumfug

    As it turns out, Santorum is Latin for what comes out of an asshole but close enough.

    • OzoneTom

      It's a dead language so sometimes close enough just has to do.

  • orygoon

    That is being a flip-flopper in a good way!

  • Lascauxcaveman

    Bob Kerrey has always been way ahead of his time.

  • SorosBot

    He's a centrist asshole, but sadly probably the best we can get from Kansas.

    • http://simplyleftbehind.blogspot.com/ actor212

      (Psst…Kerrey's Nebraska…)

      • http://www.wonkette.com/ FlownOver

        We often refer to Kansas as "Baja Nebraska."

  • http://johnnyzhivago.blogspot.com johnnyzhivago

    Didn't he run for president and lose? Something about swiftboating or something? Or is he the one who is married to the catchup fortune??? Or Ariannah Huffington???

    • http://simplyleftbehind.blogspot.com/ actor212

      No no no…that was Kerry, whom Yerrow Guhl voted for! This is KeRRey.

      • BaldarTFlagass

        …whom yerrow man de-legged back in the Nam.

        • http://simplyleftbehind.blogspot.com/ actor212

          In da Mekong Derta?

  • Lucidamente1

    "Santorum" is genitive plural, so that would be "of the assholes."

    • http://facethesuncastnoshadow.wordpress.com/ Mumbletypeg

      I must be certifiably Geek, for loving this comment~

      • RadioSBJ

        Yo también.

    • chicken_thief

      I thought plural genitals was a hermaphrodite.

      • http://simplyleftbehind.blogspot.com/ actor212

        What if he's diphallic?

        • Limeylizzie

          Then he's mine.

          • Steverino247

            DP without having to hear moans in stereo? Good deal.

        • RadioSBJ

          Too much Santorum.

        • Chichikovovich

          Huhuh Beavis, you don't know what bisexual means? It means you've got two schlongs!

          — Butthead

    • http://www.gurukalehuru.wordpress.com gurukalehuru

      Nice comment, Santor

  • orygoon

    TWO STATES!

    • http://simplyleftbehind.blogspot.com/ actor212

      …one leg.

  • Serolf_Divad

    Yay, a new douchebag "centrist" Democratic senator to replace the out outgoing douchebag "centrist" Democratic senator.

    Cue Chevy Chase from the end of "Fletch": Thank God, the… police.

  • paris biltong

    Is he also planning to get back with Debra Winger?

  • http://ifthethunderdontgetya.blogspot.com/ ifthethunderdontgetya

    Say hello to the new Joseph I. Lieberman of the West.

    (Ben Nelson was the former title holder.)

    USA! USA! USA!
    ~

    • http://simplyleftbehind.blogspot.com/ actor212

      JON TESTER LIBEL!

      MAX BAUCUS LIBEL!

      • http://ifthethunderdontgetya.blogspot.com/ ifthethunderdontgetya

        I don't think Tester rises to the standard.

        Baucus, I'll grant you.
        ~

        • http://simplyleftbehind.blogspot.com/ actor212

          Tester's an up and comer! Or maybe that's "down and goer"…

    • orygoon

      I kind of like Kerrey because he'll tell anybody to fuck off and die. Anybody.

  • littlebigdaddy

    Hot tub and coke parties with Linda Rondstadt!

    • BaldarTFlagass

      I guess so (see below).

  • BaldarTFlagass

    Didn't this guy used to bang Linda Ronstadt?

    • Callyson

      No, that was Governor Moonbeam (Jerry Brown.) I believe this guy used to get with Debra Winger.

      • http://simplyleftbehind.blogspot.com/ actor212

        He was the Winger banger. He famously said "She swept me off my foot"

        • Limeylizzie

          That is excellent, I would bang a one-legged man who said that.

          • http://simplyleftbehind.blogspot.com/ actor212

            What about one with two legs who hops a lot?

          • ph7

            Ooh Arrgh! It's me lucky day!

      • BaldarTFlagass

        I guess I need to spend more time at the People Magazine website, then I'd be up on all this shit.

        Nah, fuck that.

        • http://facethesuncastnoshadow.wordpress.com/ Mumbletypeg

          I spent way too many hours of my childhood doing the crosswords in TV Guide & inadvertently memorizing cast credits of teevee shows/ viewing gossip mags like ET, and still confuse the same two politician-lovin' wimmenz you just cited.

  • BaldarTFlagass

    "changed his mind and will run"

    Great, another flip-flop by another Kerrey. The Repubs will be short-stroking this all over the fucking place.

    • chicken_thief

      Ya, but he's running against a guy who compared welfare recipients to scavaging racoons, so who knows, maybe Kerrey will have a shot.

    • http://loljazzcatz.blogspot.com/ Chet Kincaid

      That hardly counts.

  • SayItWithWookies

    Maybe since Bob Kerrey has already had a nightmare-infested post war-crime life he can keep some of the Senate's louder chickenhawks at bay. It's about as much as one can hope for in someone advertised as slightly less horrible than Ben Nelson.

  • Callyson

    “Santorum, that’s Latin for asshole.”
    And on that note–Kerrey for Senate 2012!

  • http://www.wonkette.com/ slowhansolo

    On the one hand, it's dismaying that no one but former incumbents ever jump into the ring. On the other hand, at least he'll spare us the tragedy of a would-be citizen legislator's inevitable decline into corruption.

  • Redhead

    Oh Kerrey. Santorum is Latin for asshole juice.

  • http://wonkette.com/ weej_bain

    And since Kerrey is a Medal of Honor winner and former Navy SEAL, his patriotism is suspect. It's like that Kerry fellah from Massachusetts and Max Cleland from Georgia with their Silver Stars were short on their commitment to 'Murica, also, too.

    • http://simplyleftbehind.blogspot.com/ actor212

      The Kerry smear was almost kindergarten stuff compared to what they did to Cleland.

      • http://wonkette.com/ weej_bain

        These douchenozzles can pray to Jeebus all they want, they still ain't got no soul to save.

      • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com FROTHY

        That still makes me fucking furious. And that fatuous PRICK Saxby Chambliss managed to convince the fucking idioterati of Georgia to put him BACK in that seat, may all their gonads rot with the jungle rot.

    • GOPCrusher

      If Max Cleland really loved his country, he would of lost all four limbs!

  • http://hong-kong-actresses.blogspot.com/ donner_froh

    Bob Kerrey has changed his mind and will run limp…

  • http://whatisawatthedevolution.blogspot.com imissopus

    Kerrey's running? Pull the other one!

  • http://www.wonkette.com/ FlownOver

    Yeah, he's no Bernie Sanders, but E. coli woud be a significant step up from Benny the Assfaced Boy.

  • chicken_thief

    I just checked to see who he is running against – Jon Bruning, state AG who compared welfare recipients to scavaging racoons.

    A moderate won't stand a chance in NE against that kind of crazy.

    • GOPCrusher

      Sounds like a job for Steve King and his trusty hand cannon!

  • Limeylizzie

    And today's numbers of cheer…
    http://www.predictwise.com/politics/2012president

    • http://wonkette.com/ weej_bain

      Ah, some cheer. Thanks LL.

    • clblabin

      With the bonus cherry-on-top of cheer that comes with seeing Newt get lower odds than Ron Paul.

    • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com FROTHY

      Oh, man. You make me so happy!

  • http://www.flickr.com/photos/30500320@N06/ DerrickWildcat

    He is a good person! Leave him alone!

    • James Michael Curley

      Hear, hear!

  • http://www.gurukalehuru.wordpress.com gurukalehuru

    Nebraska is Nebraska and Kansas Arkansas.

  • MinAgain

    Can it really be considered funny in Nebraska, if it doesn't mention corn?

    • http://www.wonkette.com/ FlownOver

      Or holes?

  • http://www.southsidejohnny.com/ Jukesgrrl

    But does he know how to use Twitter?

  • ProgressiveInga

    Does he lerve the ghey? Or will he try to prey me away?

  • http://www.wonkette.com/ FlownOver

    One big difference:

    You can spend an eternity driving across Kansas on I-70.

    In Nebraska, it's I-80!

  • chascates

    He certainly pissed off everyone at the New School while 'leading' that august organization. Why doesn't retired Gen. Wesley Clark run for something?

  • ttommyunger

    Not really impressed with this bit of news, but I'd love to be proven wrong about him.

  • undeadgoat

    Well technically it's Latin for "of the holy [ones]" or "of the saints."

  • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com FROTHY

    Well, he's got MY vote. I mean, face it, he totally fucking NAILED Santorum.

  • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com FROTHY

    The hol(e)y ones …