MEET YOUR CANDIDATES  2:10 pm February 27, 2012

Nebraskan Who Said Funny Thing About Rick Santorum Will Run For Senate

by Jim Newell

Former Nebraska Sen. Bob Kerrey has changed his mind and will run for Ben Nelson’s Senate seat! He, like Nelson, is an annoying centrist deficit whiner, but (a) at least he’s not horrible old Ben Nelson and (b) he is capable of winning the seat. Oh and (c), he once said this about then-newbie Senator Rick Santorum: “Santorum, that’s Latin for asshole.”

 

Hola wonkerados.

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{ 82 comments }

edgydrifter February 27, 2012 at 2:15 pm

Wario is dead! Long live Waluigi!

ChernobylSoup February 27, 2012 at 2:17 pm

He's already got a leg up on the competition.

FlownOver February 27, 2012 at 3:15 pm

Too soon, forever!

LionHeartSoyDog February 27, 2012 at 3:22 pm

If Cherny's above reference was to peeing on Santorum's head,
Never too Soon, Forever!

(Yeah i know Kerrey dances funny).

HempDogbane February 27, 2012 at 4:17 pm

He said this: "What can I say – she swept me off my foot," about Debra Winger.

bureaucrap February 27, 2012 at 2:18 pm

Perhaps during his time as president/chancellor/provost/dean/whatever of the New School, some Greenwich Village New York Jewish knee-jerk bleeding-heart liberalism rubbed off on him. We can only hope.

emmelemm February 27, 2012 at 2:18 pm

I love him already. (re: "Santorum is an asshole")

actor212 February 27, 2012 at 2:19 pm

The New Improved Kerrey! With Extra "E"!

bumfug February 27, 2012 at 2:21 pm

As it turns out, Santorum is Latin for what comes out of an asshole but close enough.

OzoneTom February 27, 2012 at 4:07 pm

It's a dead language so sometimes close enough just has to do.

orygoon February 27, 2012 at 2:23 pm

That is being a flip-flopper in a good way!

Lascauxcaveman February 27, 2012 at 2:23 pm

Bob Kerrey has always been way ahead of his time.

SorosBot February 27, 2012 at 2:23 pm

He's a centrist asshole, but sadly probably the best we can get from Kansas.

actor212 February 27, 2012 at 2:48 pm

(Psst…Kerrey's Nebraska…)

FlownOver February 27, 2012 at 3:17 pm

We often refer to Kansas as "Baja Nebraska."

johnnyzhivago February 27, 2012 at 2:25 pm

Didn't he run for president and lose? Something about swiftboating or something? Or is he the one who is married to the catchup fortune??? Or Ariannah Huffington???

actor212 February 27, 2012 at 2:26 pm

No no no…that was Kerry, whom Yerrow Guhl voted for! This is KeRRey.

BaldarTFlagass February 27, 2012 at 2:57 pm

…whom yerrow man de-legged back in the Nam.

actor212 February 27, 2012 at 3:11 pm

In da Mekong Derta?

Lucidamente1 February 27, 2012 at 2:25 pm

"Santorum" is genitive plural, so that would be "of the assholes."

Mumbletypeg February 27, 2012 at 2:52 pm

I must be certifiably Geek, for loving this comment~

RadioSBJ February 27, 2012 at 3:29 pm

Yo también.

chicken_thief February 27, 2012 at 3:13 pm

I thought plural genitals was a hermaphrodite.

actor212 February 27, 2012 at 3:16 pm

What if he's diphallic?

Limeylizzie February 27, 2012 at 3:24 pm

Then he's mine.

Steverino247 February 27, 2012 at 5:10 pm

DP without having to hear moans in stereo? Good deal.

RadioSBJ February 27, 2012 at 3:30 pm

Too much Santorum.

Chichikovovich February 27, 2012 at 3:38 pm

Huhuh Beavis, you don't know what bisexual means? It means you've got two schlongs!

– Butthead

gurukalehuru February 27, 2012 at 4:36 pm

Nice comment, Santor

orygoon February 27, 2012 at 2:26 pm

TWO STATES!

actor212 February 27, 2012 at 2:48 pm

…one leg.

Serolf_Divad February 27, 2012 at 2:41 pm

Yay, a new douchebag "centrist" Democratic senator to replace the out outgoing douchebag "centrist" Democratic senator.

Cue Chevy Chase from the end of "Fletch": Thank God, the… police.

paris biltong February 27, 2012 at 2:44 pm

Is he also planning to get back with Debra Winger?

ifthethunderdontgetya February 27, 2012 at 2:46 pm

Say hello to the new Joseph I. Lieberman of the West.

(Ben Nelson was the former title holder.)

USA! USA! USA!
~

actor212 February 27, 2012 at 2:50 pm

JON TESTER LIBEL!

MAX BAUCUS LIBEL!

ifthethunderdontgetya February 27, 2012 at 2:58 pm

I don't think Tester rises to the standard.

Baucus, I'll grant you.
~

actor212 February 27, 2012 at 3:08 pm

Tester's an up and comer! Or maybe that's "down and goer"…

orygoon February 27, 2012 at 2:56 pm

I kind of like Kerrey because he'll tell anybody to fuck off and die. Anybody.

littlebigdaddy February 27, 2012 at 2:56 pm

Hot tub and coke parties with Linda Rondstadt!

BaldarTFlagass February 27, 2012 at 3:00 pm

I guess so (see below).

BaldarTFlagass February 27, 2012 at 2:58 pm

Didn't this guy used to bang Linda Ronstadt?

Callyson February 27, 2012 at 3:07 pm

No, that was Governor Moonbeam (Jerry Brown.) I believe this guy used to get with Debra Winger.

actor212 February 27, 2012 at 3:10 pm

He was the Winger banger. He famously said "She swept me off my foot"

Limeylizzie February 27, 2012 at 3:25 pm

That is excellent, I would bang a one-legged man who said that.

actor212 February 27, 2012 at 4:37 pm

What about one with two legs who hops a lot?

ph7 February 27, 2012 at 5:57 pm

Ooh Arrgh! It's me lucky day!

BaldarTFlagass February 27, 2012 at 3:10 pm

I guess I need to spend more time at the People Magazine website, then I'd be up on all this shit.

Nah, fuck that.

Mumbletypeg February 27, 2012 at 3:18 pm

I spent way too many hours of my childhood doing the crosswords in TV Guide & inadvertently memorizing cast credits of teevee shows/ viewing gossip mags like ET, and still confuse the same two politician-lovin' wimmenz you just cited.

BaldarTFlagass February 27, 2012 at 3:02 pm

"changed his mind and will run"

Great, another flip-flop by another Kerrey. The Repubs will be short-stroking this all over the fucking place.

chicken_thief February 27, 2012 at 3:21 pm

Ya, but he's running against a guy who compared welfare recipients to scavaging racoons, so who knows, maybe Kerrey will have a shot.

Chet Kincaid February 27, 2012 at 6:27 pm

That hardly counts.

SayItWithWookies February 27, 2012 at 3:07 pm

Maybe since Bob Kerrey has already had a nightmare-infested post war-crime life he can keep some of the Senate's louder chickenhawks at bay. It's about as much as one can hope for in someone advertised as slightly less horrible than Ben Nelson.

Callyson February 27, 2012 at 3:07 pm

“Santorum, that’s Latin for asshole.”
And on that note–Kerrey for Senate 2012!

slowhansolo February 27, 2012 at 3:08 pm

On the one hand, it's dismaying that no one but former incumbents ever jump into the ring. On the other hand, at least he'll spare us the tragedy of a would-be citizen legislator's inevitable decline into corruption.

Redhead February 27, 2012 at 3:11 pm

Oh Kerrey. Santorum is Latin for asshole juice.

weej_bain February 27, 2012 at 3:14 pm

And since Kerrey is a Medal of Honor winner and former Navy SEAL, his patriotism is suspect. It's like that Kerry fellah from Massachusetts and Max Cleland from Georgia with their Silver Stars were short on their commitment to 'Murica, also, too.

actor212 February 27, 2012 at 3:18 pm

The Kerry smear was almost kindergarten stuff compared to what they did to Cleland.

weej_bain February 27, 2012 at 3:43 pm

These douchenozzles can pray to Jeebus all they want, they still ain't got no soul to save.

FROTHY February 27, 2012 at 10:18 pm

That still makes me fucking furious. And that fatuous PRICK Saxby Chambliss managed to convince the fucking idioterati of Georgia to put him BACK in that seat, may all their gonads rot with the jungle rot.

GOPCrusher February 27, 2012 at 4:03 pm

If Max Cleland really loved his country, he would of lost all four limbs!

donner_froh February 27, 2012 at 3:16 pm

Bob Kerrey has changed his mind and will run limp…

imissopus February 27, 2012 at 3:21 pm

Kerrey's running? Pull the other one!

FlownOver February 27, 2012 at 3:23 pm

Yeah, he's no Bernie Sanders, but E. coli woud be a significant step up from Benny the Assfaced Boy.

chicken_thief February 27, 2012 at 3:24 pm

I just checked to see who he is running against – Jon Bruning, state AG who compared welfare recipients to scavaging racoons.

A moderate won't stand a chance in NE against that kind of crazy.

GOPCrusher February 27, 2012 at 4:04 pm

Sounds like a job for Steve King and his trusty hand cannon!

Limeylizzie February 27, 2012 at 3:26 pm

And today's numbers of cheer…
http://www.predictwise.com/politics/2012president

weej_bain February 27, 2012 at 3:53 pm

Ah, some cheer. Thanks LL.

clblabin February 27, 2012 at 6:23 pm

With the bonus cherry-on-top of cheer that comes with seeing Newt get lower odds than Ron Paul.

FROTHY February 27, 2012 at 10:16 pm

Oh, man. You make me so happy!

DerrickWildcat February 27, 2012 at 3:55 pm

He is a good person! Leave him alone!

James Michael Curley February 27, 2012 at 4:13 pm

Hear, hear!

gurukalehuru February 27, 2012 at 4:35 pm

Nebraska is Nebraska and Kansas Arkansas.

MinAgain February 27, 2012 at 5:43 pm

Can it really be considered funny in Nebraska, if it doesn't mention corn?

FlownOver February 27, 2012 at 7:40 pm

Or holes?

Jukesgrrl February 27, 2012 at 6:30 pm

But does he know how to use Twitter?

ProgressiveInga February 27, 2012 at 6:34 pm

Does he lerve the ghey? Or will he try to prey me away?

FlownOver February 27, 2012 at 7:45 pm

One big difference:

You can spend an eternity driving across Kansas on I-70.

In Nebraska, it's I-80!

chascates February 27, 2012 at 7:59 pm

He certainly pissed off everyone at the New School while 'leading' that august organization. Why doesn't retired Gen. Wesley Clark run for something?

ttommyunger February 27, 2012 at 8:07 pm

Not really impressed with this bit of news, but I'd love to be proven wrong about him.

undeadgoat February 27, 2012 at 10:06 pm

Well technically it's Latin for "of the holy [ones]" or "of the saints."

FROTHY February 27, 2012 at 10:14 pm

Well, he's got MY vote. I mean, face it, he totally fucking NAILED Santorum.

FROTHY February 28, 2012 at 9:45 pm

The hol(e)y ones …

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