Vladdy Putin Pledges To Take Young Voters' Virginity

Vladimir Putin is all set to steal the Russian presidential election this week, so who knows why he's even bothering to make campaign ads, but here's one in which a young Russian girl (a tween?) is told that Vladimir Putin is the right man to take her virginity. Her political virginity? Eh, either one probably works for Putin.

Here, via a friendly KGB agent at Animal New York, is the rough translation:

“We’ll find out, little beauty, who faith has in store for you.”

“You know, I hope it’s for love.” Blink-blink-blink. “It’s my… first time.”

“The carrrds will tell the truth… I see it will be for love… without deception…” ( AHEM AHEM )

A Putin card is revealed.

“Wow. It’s him!”

“You’ll be happy with him. He’ll protect you like a stone wall.” (Or something…)

And the kicker:

 Putin. First time — only for 

How has Newt Gingrich not made this ad yet?

[ Animal New York via Buzzfeed ]