Somehow, the Wasilla gravy train has finally run out of steam. What else can explain Todd Palin’s alleged Wasilla mistress/prostitute not getting a six-figure book deal for her story? America has finally grown tired of Sarah Palin and her snowbilly family’s oxycontin exploits. But, just in case you need a final dose, be sure to buy the hawt new paperback Boys Will Be Boys by Shailey Tripp. (Tripp?)

Boys Will Be Boys: Media, Morality and the Cover-up of the Todd Palin Shailey Tripp Sex Scandal is the true story of how Shailey Tripp, a young single mother of two special needs children became sexually involved with Todd Palin, husband of former Alaska Governor and 2008 GOP Vice-Presidential nominee, Sarah Palin.

This book explains the many factors that culminated in Shailey becoming not only the mistress of ” Alaska’s First Dude” but also a prostitute working for him which ultimately resulted in Shailey being arrested in March of 2010.

We are already burning our copies of John Muir’s Travels In Alaska and Jack London’s The Call of the Wild, because the modern home library only has so much shelf space for quality Alaskan literature. [Boys Will Be Boys/Sarah’s Scandals]

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  • Come here a minute

    Todd's weird sexual behavior? Instead of "motorboating", "snow-machining".

    • Nah uh. "Ice fishing"

      It involves a skinny rod and a cold hole, and power tools

      • Dashboard Buddha

        That was awesome.

      • BornInATrailer

        And the only way it is appealing as an activity is if you drink too.

    • chicken_thief

      Also "backpacking" on the "southern slopes". Too.

      • That reminds me of one of my favorite Ernie Kovacs' bits: " 'I'm heading to Canada for some winter sports, and I want to know, is it pronounced "skiing" or "she-ing" '? Well, that depends on what you're going to Canada for."

        • Neoyorquino

          Upvote for Ernie Kovacs reference.

    • Dashboard Buddha

      Tough sledding?

  • Beetagger

    I hope it comes out on Kindle.

    • nounverb911

      Sarah wants to use it as kindling.

  • nounverb911

    When does it come that Todd is full of santorum?

    • SorosBot

      That's our Wonkette; the first question is always "was there buttsex?"

      • mannacler

        (sp) buttsechs

  • orygoon

    "Shailey"? Girl or boy?

    • nounverb911

      "And don't call be Shailey."

      • Is it a cold? Or a lisp?

    • PubOption

      Southern redneck parents meet an Alaska registrar?

    • Guppy

      It's either a boy or it's fiction.

    • RadioSBJ

      "Tripp," girl or boy?

    • Yes.

  • OkieDokieDog

    Sanctity of marriage! White superiority!

    Nope, just snowbilly trash being hillbilly trash… but with snow.

    • Guppy

      "but with snow."

      I thought the slang term was "ice."

  • I guess Todd likes mothers with special needs children.

    • not that Dewey

      That's just about the weirdest fetish I've ever heard of. (of course, the all-knowing, all-seeing Rule 34 has already accounted for this)

    • Rosie_Scenario

      Of course, because Todd fathers the special needs children. Coincidence? I think not.


    • On hearing of Sarah's choice as McCain's running mate, Todd was heard to exclaim, "I'm going to the Special Olympics!"

  • SorosBot

    Just imagine, if Walnuts had won in 2008 the VP's husband could have become America's First Pimp.

    • RadioSBJ

      I was thinking First Dud.

    • Hey, man! Pimpin' ain't easy! Lay off tha playah!

      • SorosBot

        It is hard out there for a pimp, just tryin' to make the money to pay the rent.

  • Somehow, the Wasilla gravy train has finally run out of steam

    That's not steam!

    (But it does begin with S.)

  • MissTaken

    Shailey becoming not only the mistress of ” Alaska’s First Dude” but also a prostitute working for him

    Wow, going from 'mistress' to 'prostitute'. I guess in Alaska they like their Pretty Woman with a touch of Memento. Who knew?

    • Chichikovovich

      I guess in Wasilla the hooker trade has unpaid internships.

    • SorosBot

      Pretty Woman told me it's every young woman's dream to become a prostitute, then find some rich sugar daddy to live off of. Isn't that your fantasy?

      • jus_wonderin

        I could go for the sugar daddy/mama thing. I need a secure retirement.

      • MissTaken

        Much to my parents' dismay, no.

        • SorosBot

          So the movies lie? Unpossible!

      • Yeah, well, she's got it kinda backwards in this case, then. FIRST you're a prostitute, THEN you're a mistress.

    • bureaucrap

      According to South Park, the term is "bottom bitch".

    • She went from a heart of gold to a pocket full.

    • Actually, it poses a very interesting question: Did Toad not have to pay for sex initially, and then she put him on a paying footing? Or was she actually *working FOR* Toad, as in, passing him a portion of her earnings.

      It would sort of lend a little weight to the ongoing rumour that Sairey is filing divorce papers right now.

  • hagajim

    Special needs kids? Does this mean that the Tawd is firing slightly off-kilter bullets? Heck, I thought it was Mama Grizzly that was responsible for the special needs kid – now maybe we know different.

  • Wasilla is like a giant septic tank that is constantly overflowing.

  • WinterOuthouse

    Poor Tawd. He just can't catch a break. The Palin slide down the Northslope is messy indeed.

  • Chichikovovich

    "Shailey Tripp. (Tripp?)"

    Shailey is Linda Tripp's masseuse-name. She needed a new profession now that the wingnut welfare for recording the private girl-talk she shared with Monica and giving it to the special prosecutor has run dry.

    • flamingpdog

      I really have to stop eating breakfast while reading Wonkette.

      • Yes. You do.

        I'm surprised you didn't know this, dood.

    • RadioSBJ

      She was uglier than TRIsomyG's diaper.

  • WinterOuthouse

    Needs moar meth

    • littlebigdaddy

      Oh, I suspect it's got plenty.

  • Goonemeritus

    Nothing says family values like Chlamydia.

    • Guppy

      I thought nothing said "family values" like a Hapsburg Jaw.

  • StarsUponThars

    Down, breakfast, down.

  • BaldarTFlagass

    That First Dude sure can pull.

  • freakishlywrong

    Henghhhhhhhh…these people. And all conservatives. Really, just go the fuck away.

  • Mahousu

    I was going to make a joke about Todd's "special needs," except it's probably not a joke.

    • It's not short, it's developmentally challenged

      (…and yes the deleted commented used the "r" word….)

  • freakishlywrong

    From the site:
    Authored with Vickie Bottoms
    I shit you not.

    • littlebigdaddy

      Is that S.P.'s porn name?

  • BaldarTFlagass

    Was the town of Wasilla invented by Harold Robbins and Jackie Collins?

    • old_phineas

      No. It was Hunter Thompson and Boccaccio.

  • prommie

    Can't possibly be worse than Bristol's book.

    • flamingpdog

      I sincerely hope your comment is not an indication you actually read Bristle's book.

    • FakaktaSouth

      I'm just trying to figure out why B-Money named her kid after her dad's whore AND not hate myself for knowing all these people's names.

    • RadioSBJ

      Wait, Tawd nailed his daughter?

  • ProChoiceGramma

    I think it is hilarious that Levi named his son "Tripp" – how much you wanna bet Levi (and every teen boy in Wasilla) knew about Shailey Tripp? And that Levi knew or suspected that Todd had also frequented Ms. Tripp's servicing? Bristol had no idea the significance of the name "Tripp", but it was Levi's virtual punch in the face to Todd and Sarah! Did you notice how quickly after Tripp was born that Bristol broke up with Levi??

    Congrats Levi! You cleverly managed to one-up the Palins!

  • elburritodeluxe

    Why would this former Alaska prostitute diminish herself by associating with the Palins?

  • LesBontemps

    Ew, gross. That is all.

  • 2161911

    But, congratulations to Sarah Palin for taking home the Oscar for best documentary, "The Undefeated"

  • FakaktaSouth

    Well this does explain the Ron Paul bumper sticker on the back of Todd's snowmobile. SNOWMOBILE.

    • edgydrifter

      Exactly. A snow machine makes snow, which seems unnecessary in Alaska and really difficult and pointless to race on.

  • So this is what gathers at the bottom of the scrap heap that dogged journalist whiz kids muck through on behalf of a worn out story-generator: *gasp!* more white trash.

    There seems to be an inverse relationship between the serial Quitter and the related parties who don't know when to quit, also and too (much).

    • More of that man-on-dog stuff, eh? Which is which?

    • Nostrildamus

      Any time Romney's in heat, it's a dead heat.

      • Biff

        My scanner finally figured out your avatar.

        Well done.

    • An_Outhouse

      gross !

    • What HistoriCat said, dood.

  • Barb

    I'm sure Todd and Sarah will say they will sue and then they won't sue. They never do and that has got to make you wonder.

    • ttommyunger

      I've never spent a millisecond wondering-I am convinced.

    • sillywhabbit

      I believe Shailey would welcome the day that dirty-wig wearing, quitter would be stupid enough to sue.

  • bureaucrap

    With the exception of the Muir and London works cited above, it seems like alaska is just a never-ending pipeline of crap literature. It's a pity that trees have to give their lives for this effluence of wasted paper. On the other hand, it's a fortunate coincidence that Alaska clearly has a lot of trees to spare.

    • Dashboard Buddha

      it's even a shame that electrons have to give their lives to put this stuff on an ereader.

  • Blueb4sunrise

    from the creatspace link……

    Trim Size: 6" x 9"

  • widestanceromance

    It must have been a nice change for Tawd to have sex without condoms. . .in his ears.

    • Dashboard Buddha

      – Faster!




      -Goddamit Todd, go faster!

      Speak up baby

      -You ridiculous homunculus GO FASTER!




  • "Exciting" and "Todd Palin" have no business in the same sentence together, so there's your answer why she got no big ass advance.

  • ♪♫ She1ey Shailey comin' 'round Wuzsilluh when Todd cumz
    Shailey comin' 'round Wuzsilluh when Todd cumz
    She'd be cummin' with a grifter, if Todd's Iditarod wuz stiffer
    Shailey comin' 'round Wuzsilluh when Todd cumz ♫♪

  • ProChoiceGramma

    I think it is hilarious that Levi named his son "Tripp" – how much you wanna bet Levi (and every teen boy in Wasilla) knew about Shailey Tripp? And that Levi knew or suspected that Todd had also frequented Ms. Tripp's servicing? Bristol had no idea the significance of the name "Tripp", but it was Levi's virtual punch in the face to Todd and Sarah! Did you notice how quickly after Tripp was born that Bristol broke up with Levi??

    • Didn't you JUST say that? I mean, like, in this very same thread?

      • ProChoiceGramma

        Well hey, glad you were paying attention. ;-) My first comment was in "moderation" for more than an hour.

        • I think I know you from Twitter.

  • Callyson

    Boys Will Be Boys tells the whole story from Shailey's viewpoint and includes the evidence.
    Really, didn't the wingnuts learn from Bill Clinton not to leave anything behind?

  • chicken_thief

    I thought "Shailey Tripp" was Bristol's "Irish masseuse" name….

  • RedneckMuslin
  • Just saw the photos:

    Squat, hairy-lipped, bad unkempt hair, horrible clothing…and that's just Todd!

  • Tundra Grifter

    Sounds to me like a very bad Tripp.

  • Beowoof

    Although it may sound as if I am not supportive of the sanctity of marriage, I have to say that if I am Todd banging any woman other than Sarah would seem like a vacation from sex with a lumpy sack of potatoes.

    • Dashboard Buddha

      I just saw the picture of the author. It was more of a lateral switch..much like eschewing russetts for an Idaho.

      • Beowoof

        I don't know I don't think the fill in comes with that voice or attitude. That would seem to be a huge upgrade.

        • Dashboard Buddha

          I say potato, you say screaming hell beast…(4 out of 5 snarkers choose potato)—

          • Beowoof

            Well Sarah does have the IQ of a potato so you have me there.

  • Tundra Grifter

    Opening with "Authored by Shailey M. Tripp; Authored with Vickie Bottoms" just doesn't bode well for the quality of the writing.

    "Authored by?" Good Grief!

  • SayItWithWookies

    The nation's prostitutes and pimps would like to formally ask the Palins to stop giving their noble professions such a bad reputation.

  • Redhead

    I'm actually, genuinely shocked that when the inevitable happened, it was a female adult. I truly thought it would be him, Sarah and Bristol competing for the same guy.

  • chicken_thief

    I can hardly wait for the book by Shailey's sister-in-law's cousin's butcher's son who knew a close friend of Shailey during her high school years that will provide the prequel to this sure to be best seller.

  • BornInATrailer

    Calling it right now. The name of Todd's special needs child was his choice and his way of honoring his lover/ice prostitute Shailey.

  • mavenmaven

    A story like "Pretty Lady" but opposite and in reverse. Bizarro Julia Roberts!

  • el_donaldo

    "Boys Will Be Boys," by Tripp and Bottoms. That's it; I just wanted to say it.

  • DahBoner

    What a Tripp, man….

  • ttommyunger

    Odd, Todd certainly didn't need to stray to get some "strange".

    • redarmyzombie

      well you know, they'll come out of the rain, but they *never* remember your name…

  • redarmyzombie


    Is that like, a cross between Sapphire, Halley, and Bailey?

  • GhostBuggy

    Bristle? Is that like gristle? (A: Yes.)

  • ElPinche

    Todd would rather go to pound town with a thick ass brown girl…hey, at least me and Todd have something in common. We both like chimichangas.

  • MinAgain

    It's hard out here for a pimp.

  • tcaalaw

    Needs more happy endings, in my opinion.

  • Mister E

    So old idea, like your comment above, that snow =stupid nor do you grasp the idea of regional colloquialisms.

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