definitely the first one right?

Would You Rather Look At a Scary Graph or Watch Barack Obama Sing?

You are so right, Republican National Committee attack ad, it is very bizarre that Barack Obama is busy singing while an overlay graphic indicates that gas prices continue to — oh wait, there he goes with that “come on,” right on cue! And so on pitch! Oh god that is a good song. Why don’t they write songs like that anymore? Did you hear that Mick Jagger endorsed Barack Obama for Queen of England, based on this performance? Oh crap, the video is already over. Uh, wait, so what happened with gas prices?

Who knows! Why is the RNC trying to make Americans pay attention to graphs when there are more interesting things happening, like singing and applause and singing? Maybe they were expecting Americans to feel the sort of instant boredom that Mitt Romney trying to cough out patriotic hymns to a tune inspires and that actually makes studying ominous graphs seem like a more interesting alternative.

Anyway, yes global oil prices are very high right now, and Barack Obama will do exactly what he and every other president have ever been able to do about it: effectively zero. (Or actually, he will mostly continue begging Israel not to launch strikes on Iran in order to avoid a global oil shock.) And if Rick Santorum becomes President, he will appoint Herman Cain to Secretary of Defense so that he can go nuke Iran 999 times and bring oil to over $999 a barrel forever, the end. [YouTube]

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  1. bumfug

    Republican men are explaining the economic ramificatons of the chart to their wives who are just sitting there in a fresh puddle of girl juice, daydreaming.

    1. ThundercatHo

      Heck, I don't think even my very pro-Barry husband understood why I was singing Al Green for 3 days.

      1. FROTHY

        BOTH my partners are like, "OMG you are so totally a slut for that guy. If he's on, we can't get you to listen if the house was burning down!"

        Well, YEAH.

  2. Schmannnity

    If Obama would only unchain BP in the Gulf and Invade and confiscate Iran's oil, we'd have much cheaper gasoline. Hell, the Holy Iran War (c) would probably pay for itself, just like the last one.

  3. NellCote71

    I never, ever dreamed they would be be so stupid to remind us again and again how cute Barry is and that he hangs out with Mick and B.B. King. Gee, I would gladly pay $5.00 a gallon to see more of this kind of jammin'.

    1. FROTHY

      Yeah, I'm beginning to think that maybe 0.5% of the electorate will hate this ad, and the remaining 99.5% will love it, but for all the wrong reasons. Wrong for the Repuglycuntz, anyway.

    2. Loaded_Pants

      Typical Obama, hanging with Mick & B.B to pander to get that youth vote (anyone under the age of 95).

      1. LetUsBray

        Seeing Mick in concert makes me feel young in the sense that I'm about the youngest person in the audience.

        I'm 46.

  4. SoBeach

    I don't think they properly focus group tested that ad.

    Plus, all Obama has to do is show the exact same graph, only going back another three years. Then people would see that gas prices are STILL lower than the peak they reached under GW Bush.

  5. jus_wonderin

    I seem to remember MANY Republicans saying that gas prices are in no way controlled by the President. Of course that was W. And this is Barry and…well, he's black.

    1. SorosBot

      Well it's not like W ever did anything that made gas prices go up, like invading an oil-producing country in the Middle East just for the hell of it.

      1. Nothingisamiss

        Silly. As Schmannity said above, that war (was there a war?) paid for itself. It's all done now, and no further expenses shall be accrued. Except if they're that black president's fault.

        1. FROTHY

          I want to tape all their eyes open and force them to read Stiglitz and Bilmes' estimate of the cost of that fucking war — THREE TRILLION and counting in 2008. And since then, we have learned so much about how the VA disallowed disability claims and discouraged mental health claims and sent people back again and again as a result of that goddamned "Stop Loss" policy who were not fit to have been there at all.

  6. Lionel[redacted]Esq

    This reminds me of the Republican National Committee ad of Bush eating pretzels the last time oil went up.

  7. Mumbletypeg

    It didn't take me long after reading this headline to picture a response ad, as Dead Milkmen's "Taking Re✝ards Repugs to the Zoo" began playing in my head. Maybe overlaid with a graphic of gorillas flinging poo.

  8. weej_bain

    Da prize of gaz is mostly the result of one tenth of 1%ers doing the speculation.

    The rest of us sing along with Mick

    ♪♫ I can't get no, speculation ♫♪

    1. GOPCrusher

      Appoint Donald Trump the Ambassador of Oil and he can go to OPEC and tell them that America's not going to pay more than 20 cents a barrel for oil and if they don't like, we're going to start taxing them at 125%.

      1. tessiee

        Trump is popular with The Cullidz, so he'll probably get along great with whatever kind of brownz they have in that OPEC country.

  9. Lionel[redacted]Esq

    Strangely enough, since rising gas prices in the US are right now due to speculation and American companies making more money selling their products overseas to the Chinese, Indians, etc., the best solutions are to curtail the future markets and place an export tax on the oil companies.

    So, the GOP are now all Socialist?

  10. SayItWithWookies

    Maybe in a few months we won't have to face such choices. Apparently new speculation rules the CFTC was mandated to create under Dodd-Frank will fully kick in this spring. Some people think they're not strong enough, but I guess we'll know in a month or so.

  11. Lascauxcaveman

    Gas at $5/gal is too cheap. I want me some more electric cars, but the market isn't creating enough demand for them. We need an incentive. Maybe $7/gal.

      1. Lascauxcaveman

        Wow, I remember seeing pictures of Steve when he first bought that tub o' rust, what four years ago? He's aged about 25 years since then.

  12. ManchuCandidate

    2008: GOPers decry that W doesn't control oil prices.
    2012: GOPers decry that Obama Controls oil prices.

    The moral of the story?
    1) Black not so liebrul demrats are not as impotent as a silver spoon overbred dipshit.
    2) Barry isn't as friendly to the oil companies as W was. IIRC in the run up to the 2006 and 2008 elections, gas prices remained flat or dipped.

    1. LetUsBray

      Yeah, I don't think it's a coincidence that oil and gas prices are suddenly jumping right now, especially after the news that the economy looked like it was finally turning around.

  13. Doktor Zoom

    Yeah, just wait 'til Barry does that trick with the spray epoxy on the gas pedal of their Winnebago…

    1. UW8316154

      Barry always looks good to me. I watched that vid so many times I'm probably on a GOP campaign contributor target list by now.

  14. orygoon

    If Americans cared deeply about what they pay for gasoleum, we'd be seeing a lot more small cars than we do.

  15. owhatever

    Rick sings too. Onward, Christian soldiers, marching as to war. You gay soldiers don't have to fight. Nor the vagina soldiers. But the rest of you, onward. Not the Hispanics, either. And the protestants who have drifted away from the real religion. Now the rest of you, let's go. Not so fast, you registered Democrats and liberals and Jews. And the talk show hosts can stay home, and the rock and roll fiends and abortion lovers, we don't need them. This may turn out to be an Army of One.

  16. neiltheblaze

    Whatever we do, we shouldn't blame Wall Street speculators, or they might stop creating all those jobs nobody has.

  17. littlebigdaddy

    You could also run a graph of economic growth which would look a lot like the one for gas prices, since they usually are quite strongly correlated.

    1. SorosBot

      But that would be allowing reality to get in the way of Republican talking points. Next you'd be telling everyone that gas prices stem from global supply and demand, not just America, and the main driver of higher prices is increased demand from large developing nations where the standard of living is rising, particularly China and India.

    1. Biel_ze_Bubba

      Supply and demand: Demand for GOP brains is dropping as the teabaggers have no need for them. That must be the reason, because I sure don't see an increase in supply.

  18. 2161911

    Gas prices? Who cares about gas prices when the Girl Scouts of America are forcing their troop members to undergo forced abortions?

      1. LetUsBray

        Typical Rethug cognitive dissonance: The Girl Scouts are forcing their members to become those statistically rare giant lesbos who are constantly having abortions.

  19. __kth__

    Jesus H. Christ. IIRC, gasoline was $1.85/gallon because everyone, having seen Mad Max, knows better than to waste fuel when civilization is on the verge of collapse. But we can set the Wayback Machine to fall 2008 to confirm, if the Republicans really want to.

  20. LettucePrey

    If gas prices go up every time Obama sings, what happens every time Santorum… you know… santorums?

  21. mavenmaven

    Oh, before I read the label on the screen I thought that was a curve showing the number of women becoming moist during that performance.

  22. Slim_Pickins

    The only song the Republicans know was taught to them by Maverick, "Bomb, bomb, bomb, bomb Iran."

    1. tessiee

      OK, this is a bit OT but somewhat awesome:
      I was reading a movie review for that movie where Paris Hilton gets killed, and at the beginning, the sexy teens who were going skinny dipping at the lake where those *other* sexy teens got murdered a year ago stopped at the general store to gas up, and the sign said, "Regular, $1.19/gal".
      Review: "That's the highlight of the movie. I just saved you the price of a ticket. You're welcome."

  23. GOPCrusher

    Remember in 2008 and gas prices went to 4 bucks a gallon and the Republiklans called it "the invisible hand of the free market" and said the President had no control over gas prices?
    Yeah, good times. Good times.

  24. Generation[redacted]

    If Republicans don't like the price of gas, they can exercise their power as consumers in the free market, and just don't buy it.

  25. rickmaci

    This ad speaks volumes about who and what the Republikkkans are. Their ads all look like the thousands of PowerPoint presentations I've seen ad nauseum. Boring, dull, lacking in imagination. The only energy in this one comes from the visual of the President. It's like the graphics aren't even there. The GOTeaP is running in circles going nowhere-fast. LMO.

  26. BarackMyWorld

    I think everyone realizes that the $1.85 a gallon price wasn't normal, considering how high they'd been just a few months before that.

    Just like everyone remembers the bank bail-out happened under Bush, most of the gross national debt was added under Republicans, and Reagan raised taxes.

  27. Guppy

    The price of gas is set by the Saudis. There are only two ways to influence that: use less gas, or learn to suck Saudi dick better.

    Guess which party takes which stance!

  28. Limeylizzie

    Well, that delicious clip of Barry has made me moist , so now I am good and ready for my vaginal ultrasound, was that the point?

  29. BlueStateLibel

    Mitt Rmoney would empty his Cayman Island bank accounts to get one-tenth of President McDreamy's charisma.

  30. Generation[redacted]

    Why do I picture Mittens watching Barry sing saying, "Does he realize how BAD this is going to look? Okay, now to make a few phone calls and see if that stadium is still available…"

    1. chicken_thief

      Stadium?! He could use the average American Legion hall for his crowds. I suspect it will be a long time, if ever, that he books a stadium again.

  31. Biel_ze_Bubba

    My schaden is getting all freudy at the thought of Barry sueing the bastards, for infringing his copyrighted performance.

  32. barto

    Now weren't gas prices also peaking at $4 during the Bush years? Oh yes, in fact they were just aver $4/gallon in July of 2008 (not even adjusted for inflation). Huh, that Obama even raises them retroactively, apparently!

  33. tessiee

    Maybe they'd like it better if the President played the guitar and sang and laughed while drowned people floated in New Orleans — that seems to be a real crowd pleaser with the repukes.

  34. tessiee

    And who wrote "Sweet Home Chicago"?
    Noted blah person Robert Johnson — who, rumor has it, sold his soul to the devil!!!
    Dun dun dunnnn!

  35. An_Outhouse

    I keep thinking "Sucks that gas prices are going up but at least we have a Prez that can sing – and he invites rockin' cool blues dudes over to jam at the White House". If you can't afford to drive to the night club, bring the night club to your house is what I always say. and Barry listens to what I say.

  36. MarionNYNY

    Don't they realize that by putting Barry on the tv screen (singing no less), they are giving him the chance to send out more of his deadly "charm" rays which will force 80% of women and around 10-15% of men (er, ok, make that 51%) to become his love slaves and not only vote for him, but campaign relentlessly?

    Please, don't tell them.

  37. Crowe2011

    "Don't vote for Obama, he hasn't been able to control oil prices, instead vote for me – one of the guys who said he'd happily start another way in the middle east against the state with de facto control over the straight of Hormuz, which most of the world's oil is shipped through." – Brought to you by every Republican candidate except 'crazy' Ron Paul.

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