DEFINITELY THE FIRST ONE RIGHT?  4:58 pm February 24, 2012

Would You Rather Look At a Scary Graph or Watch Barack Obama Sing?

by Kirsten Boyd Johnson


You are so right, Republican National Committee attack ad, it is very bizarre that Barack Obama is busy singing while an overlay graphic indicates that gas prices continue to — oh wait, there he goes with that “come on,” right on cue! And so on pitch! Oh god that is a good song. Why don’t they write songs like that anymore? Did you hear that Mick Jagger endorsed Barack Obama for Queen of England, based on this performance? Oh crap, the video is already over. Uh, wait, so what happened with gas prices?

Who knows! Why is the RNC trying to make Americans pay attention to graphs when there are more interesting things happening, like singing and applause and singing? Maybe they were expecting Americans to feel the sort of instant boredom that Mitt Romney trying to cough out patriotic hymns to a tune inspires and that actually makes studying ominous graphs seem like a more interesting alternative.

Anyway, yes global oil prices are very high right now, and Barack Obama will do exactly what he and every other president have ever been able to do about it: effectively zero. (Or actually, he will mostly continue begging Israel not to launch strikes on Iran in order to avoid a global oil shock.) And if Rick Santorum becomes President, he will appoint Herman Cain to Secretary of Defense so that he can go nuke Iran 999 times and bring oil to over $999 a barrel forever, the end. [YouTube]

 

Hola wonkerados.

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{ 118 comments }

nounverb911 February 24, 2012 at 4:59 pm

Silly question, Barry of course.

horatiusbridges February 25, 2012 at 2:22 am

The stupid thing is that this graph is wrong. Gas hasn't dipped below 2.50 since Katrina.

nounverb911 February 24, 2012 at 5:01 pm

The Barry and (insert teabaggers name here) debates should all be sung, like "The Umbrellas of Cherbourg".

bumfug February 24, 2012 at 5:02 pm

Republican men are explaining the economic ramificatons of the chart to their wives who are just sitting there in a fresh puddle of girl juice, daydreaming.

FROTHY February 24, 2012 at 5:14 pm

I'm tellin' ya. These guys are DUMB. Whoever made that ad REALLY LIKES Barry.

tessiee February 24, 2012 at 11:16 pm

I watched it and caught myself saying, "He is DARLING!"

FROTHY February 25, 2012 at 12:09 am

Great, innit? I don't think they realize it yet.

ThundercatHo February 24, 2012 at 5:14 pm

Heck, I don't think even my very pro-Barry husband understood why I was singing Al Green for 3 days.

FROTHY February 24, 2012 at 6:18 pm

BOTH my partners are like, "OMG you are so totally a slut for that guy. If he's on, we can't get you to listen if the house was burning down!"

Well, YEAH.

ProgressiveInga February 24, 2012 at 5:45 pm

Right? I'm totally lesbo and I'd hit it.

Guppy February 24, 2012 at 6:21 pm

"Oh, if only my husband were straight like that Negro…"

imissopus February 24, 2012 at 5:04 pm

Shorter GOP: gas prices shoot up while president sings that Negro jungle music!!!eleventy!111

weej_bain February 24, 2012 at 5:07 pm

Eleventy? Is that half of twenty-two teen?

Schmannnity February 24, 2012 at 5:05 pm

If Obama would only unchain BP in the Gulf and Invade and confiscate Iran's oil, we'd have much cheaper gasoline. Hell, the Holy Iran War (c) would probably pay for itself, just like the last one.

tessiee February 24, 2012 at 11:14 pm

And the rose petals they'd throw at us, don't forget those.

nounverb911 February 24, 2012 at 5:07 pm

The GOP is assuming teabaggers can read (graphs).

NellCote71 February 24, 2012 at 5:08 pm

I never, ever dreamed they would be be so stupid to remind us again and again how cute Barry is and that he hangs out with Mick and B.B. King. Gee, I would gladly pay $5.00 a gallon to see more of this kind of jammin'.

FROTHY February 24, 2012 at 5:16 pm

Yeah, I'm beginning to think that maybe 0.5% of the electorate will hate this ad, and the remaining 99.5% will love it, but for all the wrong reasons. Wrong for the Repuglycuntz, anyway.

weej_bain February 24, 2012 at 5:25 pm

Repuglycuntz? FROTHY, do you have that copyrighted, or can the rest of us plagiarize?

FROTHY February 24, 2012 at 6:20 pm

Go to town, sweetie, god knows half my Tweets are stolen from the resta y'all.

Loaded_Pants February 24, 2012 at 7:29 pm

Typical Obama, hanging with Mick & B.B to pander to get that youth vote (anyone under the age of 95).

LetUsBray February 24, 2012 at 9:22 pm

Seeing Mick in concert makes me feel young in the sense that I'm about the youngest person in the audience.

I'm 46.

SoBeach February 24, 2012 at 5:08 pm

I don't think they properly focus group tested that ad.

Plus, all Obama has to do is show the exact same graph, only going back another three years. Then people would see that gas prices are STILL lower than the peak they reached under GW Bush.

Nothingisamiss February 24, 2012 at 5:37 pm

Overlayed with Bush, "Watch this drive."

chicken_thief February 25, 2012 at 1:29 am

And "good job, Brownie".

jus_wonderin February 24, 2012 at 5:08 pm

I seem to remember MANY Republicans saying that gas prices are in no way controlled by the President. Of course that was W. And this is Barry and…well, he's black.

SorosBot February 24, 2012 at 5:17 pm

Well it's not like W ever did anything that made gas prices go up, like invading an oil-producing country in the Middle East just for the hell of it.

Nothingisamiss February 24, 2012 at 5:39 pm

Silly. As Schmannity said above, that war (was there a war?) paid for itself. It's all done now, and no further expenses shall be accrued. Except if they're that black president's fault.

FROTHY February 24, 2012 at 6:23 pm

I want to tape all their eyes open and force them to read Stiglitz and Bilmes' estimate of the cost of that fucking war — THREE TRILLION and counting in 2008. And since then, we have learned so much about how the VA disallowed disability claims and discouraged mental health claims and sent people back again and again as a result of that goddamned "Stop Loss" policy who were not fit to have been there at all.

Local_Mojo February 24, 2012 at 5:09 pm

And we'll have fun, fun, fun 'til your daddy takes your Tea-Bag awaaaaay.

Lionel[redacted]Esq February 24, 2012 at 5:09 pm

This reminds me of the Republican National Committee ad of Bush eating pretzels the last time oil went up.

Mumbletypeg February 24, 2012 at 5:09 pm

It didn't take me long after reading this headline to picture a response ad, as Dead Milkmen's "Taking Re✝ards Repugs to the Zoo" began playing in my head. Maybe overlaid with a graphic of gorillas flinging poo.

Doktor Zoom February 24, 2012 at 5:15 pm

And Joe Biden's got a Bitchin' Camaro Trans Am

sharethegrief February 24, 2012 at 5:10 pm

Isn't this below the dignity of our fruited plains?

chicken_thief February 25, 2012 at 1:31 am

I detect a Marcus Bachmann slur in there somewhere….

weej_bain February 24, 2012 at 5:10 pm

Da prize of gaz is mostly the result of one tenth of 1%ers doing the speculation.

The rest of us sing along with Mick

♪♫ I can't get no, speculation ♫♪

smokefilledroommate February 24, 2012 at 5:10 pm

Everybody knows Barry is Gas Commander. Why doesn't he just command a price decrease?

GOPCrusher February 24, 2012 at 5:57 pm

Appoint Donald Trump the Ambassador of Oil and he can go to OPEC and tell them that America's not going to pay more than 20 cents a barrel for oil and if they don't like, we're going to start taxing them at 125%.

tessiee February 24, 2012 at 11:19 pm

Trump is popular with The Cullidz, so he'll probably get along great with whatever kind of brownz they have in that OPEC country.

Lionel[redacted]Esq February 24, 2012 at 5:10 pm

Strangely enough, since rising gas prices in the US are right now due to speculation and American companies making more money selling their products overseas to the Chinese, Indians, etc., the best solutions are to curtail the future markets and place an export tax on the oil companies.

So, the GOP are now all Socialist?

Wilcoxyz February 24, 2012 at 5:10 pm

But lube prices are plummeting from lack of demand.

tessiee February 24, 2012 at 11:19 pm

Speak for yourself.

WhatTheHeck February 24, 2012 at 5:10 pm

I’d like to teach the world to sing
in perfect hegemony.

Serolf_Divad February 24, 2012 at 5:11 pm

All I really want is for Barak Obama to go president Camacho on the GOP's ass.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GFyUvlfZ8j0

tessiee February 24, 2012 at 11:22 pm

Bush tried to act like President Camacho, and he couldn't even get that right.

SayItWithWookies February 24, 2012 at 5:12 pm

Maybe in a few months we won't have to face such choices. Apparently new speculation rules the CFTC was mandated to create under Dodd-Frank will fully kick in this spring. Some people think they're not strong enough, but I guess we'll know in a month or so.

FROTHY February 24, 2012 at 5:12 pm

Wow, I played that, like, five times before it dawned on me that it was a Republican attack ad.

weej_bain February 24, 2012 at 5:14 pm

And it needz moar GasEx™.

Lascauxcaveman February 24, 2012 at 5:14 pm

Gas at $5/gal is too cheap. I want me some more electric cars, but the market isn't creating enough demand for them. We need an incentive. Maybe $7/gal.

weej_bain February 24, 2012 at 5:35 pm

Or maybe by a made in 'Murica Kalakla bike. Rumor has it that full-production versions will include a bit of rust from the original Kalakala. A silver slug with pedals.

Lascauxcaveman February 24, 2012 at 7:12 pm

Wow, I remember seeing pictures of Steve when he first bought that tub o' rust, what four years ago? He's aged about 25 years since then.

FROTHY February 24, 2012 at 6:31 pm

Allen West spent a good part of yesterday sobbing publicly about how The Gas Is Too High. Fucking gasbag that he is.

rocktonsam February 24, 2012 at 5:15 pm

I thought all republican graphs went to 123%.

Bamz always!

Graham Cracker February 24, 2012 at 5:42 pm

Only Faux News graphs go to 123%. …Oh, yeah. Same thing, isn't it?

tessiee February 24, 2012 at 11:24 pm

For god's sake, somebody give them a jerb making amplifiers!

ManchuCandidate February 24, 2012 at 5:17 pm

2008: GOPers decry that W doesn't control oil prices.
2012: GOPers decry that Obama Controls oil prices.

The moral of the story?
1) Black not so liebrul demrats are not as impotent as a silver spoon overbred dipshit.
2) Barry isn't as friendly to the oil companies as W was. IIRC in the run up to the 2006 and 2008 elections, gas prices remained flat or dipped.

LetUsBray February 24, 2012 at 9:27 pm

Yeah, I don't think it's a coincidence that oil and gas prices are suddenly jumping right now, especially after the news that the economy looked like it was finally turning around.

Doktor Zoom February 24, 2012 at 5:17 pm

Yeah, just wait 'til Barry does that trick with the spray epoxy on the gas pedal of their Winnebago…

tessiee February 24, 2012 at 11:25 pm

"Don't say a fuckin' word."

SorosBot February 24, 2012 at 5:18 pm

Why is the RNC running ads that make Obama look good?

ManchuCandidate February 24, 2012 at 5:27 pm

The obvious answer…. they're fucking idiots.

UW8316154 February 26, 2012 at 10:20 am

Barry always looks good to me. I watched that vid so many times I'm probably on a GOP campaign contributor target list by now.

orygoon February 24, 2012 at 5:23 pm

If Americans cared deeply about what they pay for gasoleum, we'd be seeing a lot more small cars than we do.

owhatever February 24, 2012 at 5:24 pm

Rick sings too. Onward, Christian soldiers, marching as to war. You gay soldiers don't have to fight. Nor the vagina soldiers. But the rest of you, onward. Not the Hispanics, either. And the protestants who have drifted away from the real religion. Now the rest of you, let's go. Not so fast, you registered Democrats and liberals and Jews. And the talk show hosts can stay home, and the rock and roll fiends and abortion lovers, we don't need them. This may turn out to be an Army of One.

Chet Kincaid February 24, 2012 at 5:39 pm

You college-edumacateds can fall out too, also!!

neiltheblaze February 24, 2012 at 5:28 pm

Whatever we do, we shouldn't blame Wall Street speculators, or they might stop creating all those jobs nobody has.

littlebigdaddy February 24, 2012 at 5:28 pm

You could also run a graph of economic growth which would look a lot like the one for gas prices, since they usually are quite strongly correlated.

SorosBot February 24, 2012 at 5:40 pm

But that would be allowing reality to get in the way of Republican talking points. Next you'd be telling everyone that gas prices stem from global supply and demand, not just America, and the main driver of higher prices is increased demand from large developing nations where the standard of living is rising, particularly China and India.

Lucidamente1 February 24, 2012 at 5:29 pm

"The editors of Wonkette are responsible for the content of this advertisement."

Chillwillard February 24, 2012 at 5:29 pm

Gas Prices go up, Republicans' IQ goes down. You can't explain that.

Biel_ze_Bubba February 24, 2012 at 7:27 pm

Supply and demand: Demand for GOP brains is dropping as the teabaggers have no need for them. That must be the reason, because I sure don't see an increase in supply.

Naked_Bunny February 24, 2012 at 5:30 pm

Keep laughing at green power, RNC douchebags.

Biel_ze_Bubba February 24, 2012 at 7:34 pm

Al Green power.

2161911 February 24, 2012 at 5:31 pm

Gas prices? Who cares about gas prices when the Girl Scouts of America are forcing their troop members to undergo forced abortions?

Lucidamente1 February 24, 2012 at 5:33 pm

I thought they were forcing them to become giant lesbos.

ProgressiveInga February 24, 2012 at 5:54 pm

Speaking of lesbos, I was kicked out of Girl Scouts for eating all the Brownies.
True Story.

LetUsBray February 24, 2012 at 9:31 pm

Typical Rethug cognitive dissonance: The Girl Scouts are forcing their members to become those statistically rare giant lesbos who are constantly having abortions.

poorgradstudent February 24, 2012 at 5:31 pm

Okay, we get it, he's BLACK!

__kth__ February 24, 2012 at 5:36 pm

Jesus H. Christ. IIRC, gasoline was $1.85/gallon because everyone, having seen Mad Max, knows better than to waste fuel when civilization is on the verge of collapse. But we can set the Wayback Machine to fall 2008 to confirm, if the Republicans really want to.

johnnyzhivago February 24, 2012 at 5:37 pm

Traffic Light Slavery is a more intellectually honest thing to complain about than this….

Nostrildamus February 24, 2012 at 5:37 pm

Please compare gas price graph with Dow Jones average over the same period:
http://finance.yahoo.com/echarts?s=^dji+interacti…

LettucePrey February 24, 2012 at 5:37 pm

If gas prices go up every time Obama sings, what happens every time Santorum… you know… santorums?

ProgressiveInga February 24, 2012 at 5:57 pm

A twink gets his wings?

Callyson February 24, 2012 at 5:37 pm

Yeah–you know the last time gas prices were this high? Oh yeah–under W, until they *had* to decline when W's Great Recession hit: http://gasbuddy.com/gb_retail_price_chart.aspx
Assholes.

johnnyzhivago February 24, 2012 at 5:38 pm

They should have highlight THEIR GUY in the ad – and had Mitt doing who let the dogs out.

mavenmaven February 24, 2012 at 5:38 pm

Oh, before I read the label on the screen I thought that was a curve showing the number of women becoming moist during that performance.

tessiee February 24, 2012 at 11:27 pm

Can't it be both?

Slim_Pickins February 24, 2012 at 5:40 pm

The only song the Republicans know was taught to them by Maverick, "Bomb, bomb, bomb, bomb Iran."

SolitaireRose February 24, 2012 at 5:44 pm

Where the hell were gas prices $1.85 in the US in the last 8 years and can I move there?

tessiee February 24, 2012 at 11:29 pm

OK, this is a bit OT but somewhat awesome:
I was reading a movie review for that movie where Paris Hilton gets killed, and at the beginning, the sexy teens who were going skinny dipping at the lake where those *other* sexy teens got murdered a year ago stopped at the general store to gas up, and the sign said, "Regular, $1.19/gal".
Review: "That's the highlight of the movie. I just saved you the price of a ticket. You're welcome."

arihaya February 24, 2012 at 5:46 pm

shorter GOP: How dare all of those Blah people singing in the White House !!!1!!!

tessiee February 24, 2012 at 11:32 pm

"These here boys is miscegenated! Miscegenated! They ain't white! Hell, they ain't even old timey!"

GOPCrusher February 24, 2012 at 5:53 pm

Remember in 2008 and gas prices went to 4 bucks a gallon and the Republiklans called it "the invisible hand of the free market" and said the President had no control over gas prices?
Yeah, good times. Good times.

Generation[redacted] February 24, 2012 at 5:57 pm

If Republicans don't like the price of gas, they can exercise their power as consumers in the free market, and just don't buy it.

rickmaci February 24, 2012 at 5:59 pm

This ad speaks volumes about who and what the Republikkkans are. Their ads all look like the thousands of PowerPoint presentations I've seen ad nauseum. Boring, dull, lacking in imagination. The only energy in this one comes from the visual of the President. It's like the graphics aren't even there. The GOTeaP is running in circles going nowhere-fast. LMO.

BarackMyWorld February 24, 2012 at 6:20 pm

I think everyone realizes that the $1.85 a gallon price wasn't normal, considering how high they'd been just a few months before that.

Just like everyone remembers the bank bail-out happened under Bush, most of the gross national debt was added under Republicans, and Reagan raised taxes.

Guppy February 24, 2012 at 6:23 pm

The price of gas is set by the Saudis. There are only two ways to influence that: use less gas, or learn to suck Saudi dick better.

Guess which party takes which stance!

Limeylizzie February 24, 2012 at 6:34 pm

Well, that delicious clip of Barry has made me moist , so now I am good and ready for my vaginal ultrasound, was that the point?

Fox n Fiends February 24, 2012 at 6:37 pm

I thought BIG GOVERNMENT shouldn't interfere with free market prices?

BlueStateLibel February 24, 2012 at 6:39 pm

Mitt Rmoney would empty his Cayman Island bank accounts to get one-tenth of President McDreamy's charisma.

Beowoof February 24, 2012 at 7:13 pm

Even when it comes to singing he is more talented than Mitt.

Generation[redacted] February 24, 2012 at 7:36 pm

Why do I picture Mittens watching Barry sing saying, "Does he realize how BAD this is going to look? Okay, now to make a few phone calls and see if that stadium is still available…"

chicken_thief February 25, 2012 at 1:45 am

Stadium?! He could use the average American Legion hall for his crowds. I suspect it will be a long time, if ever, that he books a stadium again.

Biel_ze_Bubba February 24, 2012 at 7:38 pm

My schaden is getting all freudy at the thought of Barry sueing the bastards, for infringing his copyrighted performance.

barto February 24, 2012 at 10:32 pm

Now weren't gas prices also peaking at $4 during the Bush years? Oh yes, in fact they were just aver $4/gallon in July of 2008 (not even adjusted for inflation). Huh, that Obama even raises them retroactively, apparently!

tessiee February 24, 2012 at 11:10 pm

Maybe they'd like it better if the President played the guitar and sang and laughed while drowned people floated in New Orleans — that seems to be a real crowd pleaser with the repukes.

tessiee February 24, 2012 at 11:11 pm

You know who ELSE liked to sing?

chicken_thief February 25, 2012 at 1:49 am

Sammy the Bull Gravano?

tessiee February 24, 2012 at 11:13 pm

And who wrote "Sweet Home Chicago"?
Noted blah person Robert Johnson — who, rumor has it, sold his soul to the devil!!!
Dun dun dunnnn!

tessiee February 24, 2012 at 11:15 pm

Oh, yeah, and also?
SQUEEEEE!!!

Biel_ze_Bubba February 25, 2012 at 5:05 am

What Barry should do is jam with these guys. Then it won't matter what graphs the Repukes lay over it.

An_Outhouse February 25, 2012 at 12:06 pm

I keep thinking "Sucks that gas prices are going up but at least we have a Prez that can sing – and he invites rockin' cool blues dudes over to jam at the White House". If you can't afford to drive to the night club, bring the night club to your house is what I always say. and Barry listens to what I say.

MarionNYNY February 25, 2012 at 1:55 pm

Don't they realize that by putting Barry on the tv screen (singing no less), they are giving him the chance to send out more of his deadly "charm" rays which will force 80% of women and around 10-15% of men (er, ok, make that 51%) to become his love slaves and not only vote for him, but campaign relentlessly?

Please, don't tell them.

MarionNYNY February 25, 2012 at 1:58 pm

I was actually at the Apollo the nightt he sang "I'm So in Love with You" and I still haven't washed my ears.

DCBloom February 25, 2012 at 3:04 pm

FYI….
Monday night on PBS they will be showing the whole concert.

fuflans February 26, 2012 at 1:07 am

just stop fucking driving.

yeah i'm looking at you allen west.

UW8316154 February 26, 2012 at 10:23 am

I would pay many ameros to see Barry live in concert!

Crowe2011 February 26, 2012 at 11:28 am

"Don't vote for Obama, he hasn't been able to control oil prices, instead vote for me – one of the guys who said he'd happily start another way in the middle east against the state with de facto control over the straight of Hormuz, which most of the world's oil is shipped through." – Brought to you by every Republican candidate except 'crazy' Ron Paul.

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