never apologize for anything

Obama Apologizes To Foreign Leader For Bad Thing, Must Be Impeached

Hilldawg wouldn't apologizeAs Mitt Romney’s been saying for months now, this President loves going around the world to apologize for America, because apparently it’s wrong to liberate distant oppressed countries with freedom bombs, rainbow bullets, democracy shrapnel, and war… umm war… whatever. And today Mitt Romney is finally correct! President Obama has apologized in a letter to Afghan President Hamid Karzai for the big Koran garbage barbecue at Bagram the other day, which has led to terrible riots and death everywhere.

From the Times:

“I wish to express my deep regret for the reported incident,” Mr. Obama said in a letter to President Hamid Karzai. “I extend to you and the Afghan people my sincere apologies.”

The letter was handed to Mr. Karzai by the American ambassador to Afghanistan, Ryan C. Crocker, on Thursday afternoon in Kabul.

The acting spokesman for the American Embassy in Kabul, Mark Thornburg, confirmed that the letter had been hand delivered by Mr. Crocker to Mr. Karzai.

“The error was inadvertent,” Mr. Obama said. “I assure you that we will take the appropriate steps to avoid any recurrence, to include holding accountable those responsible.”

Wow, an apology and an assurance that he’ll punish some American soldiers for this! Let’s see how the right wing of American politics is taking this news with a quick jaunt over to Free Republic.

  • “The best thing we could do is pull out our troops, nuke the place back to the stone-age, declare victory and then tell every foreign country that Afghanistan is all theirs on a first come, first serve basis. “
  • “Actions like this will spell the end of Obama if word gets out through all the Lame Stream Media. Obama just proved everyone’s point that he hates America bad enough to apologize to a bunch of radical Islamist.”
  • “A 2000 lb cement brick should be dropped on the Kabala rock right now. With a warning that the next 2000 lb. item dropped on that spot will be live. But nobody with the authority to do so has the GUTS to do it.”
  • “We should replace troops on the ground one for one with nukes set off above ground. But save some for Mecca and Medina and the rest of their viper nests.”
  • “But then the media crawls all over Santorum for telling the truth: we are in the clutches of Satan and Obama is the facilitator…”
  • “I wipe my with pages of the koran,will B.O apologize on my behalf.”


About the author

Jim Newell is Wonkette's beloved Capitol Hill Typing Demon. He joined in 2007, left for some other dumb job in 2010, and proudly returned in 2012 as our "Senior Editor at Large." He lives in Washington and also writes for things such as The Guardian, the Manchester paper of liberals.

View all articles by Jim Newell
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  1. Local_Mojo

    We don't want to talk to them no more, those empty headed animal food trough wipers. We fart in their general direction. Their mothers were hamsters and their fathers smelt of elderberries.

  2. SayItWithWookies

    A 2000 lb cement brick should be dropped on the Kabala rock right now.

    And after that, it's a war on feng shui.

    1. FraAnima

      Kabala rock? Is that anything like Fraggle rock? If so, I'm all for dropping a concrete block on it…

      1. Swampgas_Man

        I owned a Kabala toy when I was a kid; green glowing Ouija board, w/ a big glowing eye in the middle, right? Man, those Moozlims are so lucky to have that, it's cooler than the Vatican.

  3. EatsBabyDingos

    We offended their conservatives. We should throw a bonfire and toss one of our conservatives into the fire for each Afghani that was offended. But who first?

    1. mrpuma2u

      Yeah that's a tough one, but I dutifully submit the name of Rep. Joe Walsh (R) tea bagman, vitriol spouting, deadbeat dad douchbag extra-ordinaire. It's a starting point anyway.

    2. GOPCrusher

      Let's send some Bibles over to Afghanistan and let them make a video of Afghanis burning them.
      For the lulz.

  4. GunToting[Redacted]

    I wish I had some snark about this, but I can't. These fucktards were gearing up the impeachment machine starting on November 5, 2008. I swear to Zenu I saw the "IMPEACH OBUMMER!!1!1! bumper stickers before the inauguration. I wonder what they consider to be High Crimes and Misdemeanors?

    1. Limeylizzie

      But in the midst of all that insanity comes this person.

      Beverly Glasser Maiorino Yes..war is hell….How about a solution and peace instead of your usual blather about freedoms. Theocratic twit.
      2 minutes ago · Unlike ·

    1. memzilla

      I think the important thing is the spirit of tolerance, understanding, and humanity that always infuses the learned debates on this subject.

  5. BarackMyWorld

    Is it just me, or is the Freepers' (and pretty much most right-wingers) reaction to EVERY foreign policy issue, large or small, that we should blow everyone up? It's like they're using a two-headed coin of crazy.

    1. CommieLibunatic

      And what baffles me is that a lot of these… people, if you will… lived through the Cold War. Did they not notice Sword of Damocles dangling above them that whole time? Or did they just not care/buy it?

      1. doloras

        During the Cold War, there was a chance our enemies might nuke us back. Now they don't need to worry about that anymore. It's 1945 again and WE CAN NUKE WHO WE WANT, so why don't we?

      2. sewollef

        Sword of Damocles, nah. They were cool about it, since they could: duck and cover…. duck and cover….

        Those school desks could survive a 60 kiloton blast and the resulting shock wave, while only 200 yards from ground zero. It's a fact, look it up.

    2. UnholyMoses

      These fucking cowards view war as a video game in which OTHER PEOPLE make the sacrifices, come back with PTSD and missing limbs and horrific images they can never forget, have to decide friend or foe in a split second even though the real enemy doesn't wear a uniform so it's kinda hard to tell the difference …

      … all while THOSE NOT LIKE THEM get their houses blown to shit, their marriage parties crashed by a bomb dropped from a drone, their homes invaded and never repaired, and shamed into doing something — hell anything — to reclaim what, ya know, is actually theirs (their nation).

      Of course, that last part is, for the right, a feature, not a bug.

      ADDING: And, sadly, a disturbing number of Americans agree with this view because, again, they don't have to sacrifice shit. Only military families do.


      Bring back the draft and they'd change their tunes right fucking quick.

      1. FROTHY

        Currently, less than 10% of the population serves in the military. This means that there IS NO shared sacrifice. The children of the poor are sent off to war by the children of the wealthy. These people have no idea what it is to come home to find that your home has been foreclosed, your wife/husband/partner is divorcing/leaving you, your children no longer recognize you, and your employer couldn't hold your job. They have NO fucking idea about those troops lying in pools of their own piss at Walter Reed, with mold on the ceilings and walls.

        The 101st Chairborne. Qualified to speak about war and its ravages just as much as their bosses are qualified to speak about ladyparts and contraception's effects on wimminz.

        1. sewollef

          Damn…. your comment fills me with grief and anger.

          "Why is it that we fill our kids with hate to fight an old man's war…. and if 'God is Good and God is Great', why can't he change the hearts of men?"

          I'd love to claim that, but that Tom Waits chap beat me to it. Sits perfectly with this thread I think…

    3. Mojopo

      …as if we have never bombed anything over there before. What do these people think we are doing in Afghanistan?

      "My God man, what a stroke a genius. I'm going to stop peeing on corpses right this second and look into the bomb thing!"

  6. Ruhe

    Jesus. Maybe the rest of the world does hate America but if so they'd better get in line cause Americans get to go first.

      1. CommieLibunatic

        I'll disagree here. I found that being REALLY FUCKIN' PISSED about something made my jogging rounds significantly easier.

        1. Negropolis

          If being fuckin' pissed was an exercize regiment, than the freepers should be olympic athletes by now.

  7. Lionel[redacted]Esq

    And yet try to allow some nice lady to get the pill through her health insurance, and that is worth trying to start a civil war over.

    1. Designer_Rants

      I've been listening to these re-tards say "nuke 'em,""turn the Middle East into a glass parking lot," and other assorted pig vomit for 20 years. So yes, that must be all they can come up with.

  8. Redhead

    "“The best thing we could do is pull out our troops"

    But pulling out is a (albeit ineffective) form of birth control, and birth control is evil because it lets teh ladiez have teh sexxxytimes without teh punishment/babiez.

  9. privatejoker77

    As I read the Free Republic responses I'm reminded that I don't want to live on this planet anymore.

    1. nonbeliever7

      I like my favorite songwriter's advice;
      "Oh, I used to be disgusted / And now I try to be amused "

  10. Canmon

    "We are in the clutches of Satan and Obama is the facilitator"

    Sounds like Santorum has his campaign slogan for the general election.

    1. Ruhe

      Has anyone noticed if the Christian "film" industry has been churning out more rapture porn since Obama took office? I'd be surprised if they haven't.

    1. FROTHY

      Hell, isn't that what they're puttin' all those bumperstickers on the FRONT bumper for? It's "Kill the N*****" season again, for Republicans, apparently.

      1. SorosBot

        It almost makes you suspect "pro-life" is just code for "pro-forcing-women-to-stay-barefoot-and-pregnant-in-the-kitchen".

        1. FlownOver

          "Almost," in the sense of "completely." And "makes you suspect" in the sense of "abso-fucking-lutely proves"

          Sounding awfully conciliatory today, S-Bot.

  11. widestanceromance

    Ahh, how I've missed that lovely cow's photo. I wonder if she has finally fused to her chair.

  12. JustPixelz

    From BBC, May 2008:

    US President George W Bush has made a personal apology over the shooting of a Koran by an American soldier, the White House has confirmed.

    Nov 28, 2002:

    President Bush apologizes, via the U.S. ambassador in Seuol, for the deaths of two South Korean girls hit by a U.S. military vehicle in June.

    And this

    President Bush expressed personal regret to Chinese President Hu Jintao for a protest during an elaborate welcoming ceremony on the White House lawn Thursday.

  13. BaldarTFlagass

    “I wipe my with pages of the koran,"

    I wonder if it's real scratchy. Most paper that you find in books would not be very comfortable to wipe your ass with. Could be the underlying problem for a lot of these folks.

  14. SorosBot

    Here I didn't know that Hamid Karzai, the hand-picked tool of George W. Bush, is "a bunch of radical Islamist [sic]".

    1. FROTHY

      The US-educated, American-oil-company executive who doesn't even know what life is like for poor people, the common people, who comprise most of that poor benighted nation's population.

      Say … doesn't that sound suspiciously like Mittens?

  15. Blueb4sunrise


    Blueb4sunrise 100p · 2 hours ago
    Don't worry, there'll be a santorum of 'Barry Apologized to Musslinmens' in the near future.

    Although I gotta admit that it didn't take much insight to predict this.

  16. freakishlywrong

    Jim, I hope you washed up after your jaunt to the fever swamp. We don't want to catch anything.

  17. GunToting[Redacted]

    SnoSnookie weighs in on this matter:

    Obama apologizes for inadvertent Koran burning; now the US trained & protected Afghan Army can apologize for killing our soldiers yesterday.


    1. bagofmice

      You fly hundreds of thousands of troops half-way across the planet, shoot a few things, use robots to blow up a few things, piss on the corpses and desecrate the regional holy book and it makes you wonder, why do they hate america?

  18. chicken_thief

    "…and Obama is the facilitator."

    I thought Obama was a clueless idiot who never got anything right. Can't they make up their mind?

  19. MissTaken

    If I remember correctly Jesus did say something about 'nuking places back to the stone-age' right before he turned the other cheek.

    1. Lionel[redacted]Esq

      Actually, the quote you are looking for is:

      "Let him without sin cast the first stone, but if you are dealing with brown heathens, let him with sin nuke them back to the stone-age."

    2. Generation[redacted]

      That's the liberal mistranslation. If you go back to the original Aramaic, Jesus is clearly telling Peter, "Turn the other key, on my mark… 3… 2… 1…"

  20. DaRooster

    "I wipe my with pages of the koran,will B.O apologize on my behalf.”

    You should use one the burning ones…

    1. CrunchyKnee

      That guy is a chucklehead, everyone knows that for a quality wipe, one reaches for the large print King James.

  21. James Michael Curley

    I'm not sure which alternative is worse. Should we close down the internet to rid the world of the haters like those on Free Republic or should we find out who they are and implant RFIDs in their skulls so we will know where to find them?

    1. bagofmice

      I want an RFID implant! Imagine the convenience going through the border just by waving your 'plant and having all exculpatory data just pop up. Or going to the emergency room after a car accident and having you medical history found after a quick scan. No more human bureaucracy. No more loss of allergy data, ensuring better recovery rates!

      Chip me, tag me, give me a unique name.

      1. James Michael Curley

        I had my cats ‘chipped’. I’ll agree to an RFID if I can get three people to wait on me, keep my food fresh, open the door for me all day long and let me sleep anywhere and anytime.

  22. neiltheblaze

    Personally, I'm hoping for a truck-sized meteorite to hit the Republican National Convention during Rick Santorum's acceptance speech. The National average IQ would go up 75 points immediately.

  23. James Michael Curley

    At the next debate what will the gang of four say if asked; "What wold you do if you discovered charred remains of the New Testament in the garbage behind a local Mosque?"

      1. MadBrahms

        Nah, they're just protected by the holy spirit. If it burns, it's clearly because of translation errors.

  24. prommie

    Redneck shitbag pigfucking retards all over Amurrica, and especially in Arizona and South Kakalakee, will now start holding public Koran burnings, organized by the local radio morning zoo-animal fuckers, in order to prove to the world that despite Obama's efforts to display some decency and politeness, we are, in the end, a Nation of Ignorant, Racist, Belligerant Fucktards.

  25. BaldarTFlagass

    Hey Freepers, relax. Obama had his fingers crossed behind his back when he signed that letter of apology, so it doesn't count.

  26. vodkamuppet

    If I wasn't so high from snorting the dust of cremated aborted babies id say that doesn't make any sense. I took some mesculine too.

          1. FROTHY

            Why not? It looks like we might be winning this social issues war against us. Nothing like listening to a little This is The Law of The Plague while contemplating that happy day. (raises glass)

  27. Steverino247

    Yes, boys and girls, it is odd that burning a book can cause such an insane reaction, but we knew they were that crazy when we went there and someone should have known better. Some Muslims, like some Christians, are unable to separate the material (a book) from the faith (what people believe) and go berserk when something like this happens. Recall all the nonsense about burning flags years ago. Instead of just charging the protestors with arson or burning without a permit, we have to all put our tits in the wringer and scream. Burning the symbol is not the same as burning, oh, never mind. We're talking about a black guy, so you're not listening…

  28. Goonemeritus

    For a group that is constantly asking for an apology the Conservatives sure do hate hearing an apology.

  29. Baconzgood

    (Unrelated to this post)

    C'mon ass face!!!!!!!! JOHN'S ON VACATION!!!!!!!! no matter how many times I call or pretend to e-mail him on Wonkette he's not going to fucking answer! You wanna know why? HE WON'T ANSWER HIS PHONE BECAUSE HIS CELL IS IN THE 2ND TO BOTTOM DRAWER ON THE LEFT OF MY FUCKING DESK!!!!!!!!!!!! As for e-mail, he has a reason that his response is "I'm won't be able to respond to any e-mails 3-1-12 please contact J***********Y-AKA Baconzgood if you need assistance with anything" HE'S ON VACATION DICK NOSE!!!!!!!!

    Now I'm pretending that I give a fuck about John's client and tapping the key board with an intense look on my face so he will think I'm trying to get a hold of John on his 2nd honeymoon……

    (this comment is 100% snark free)

    1. DaRooster

      At least we understand… I swear people are getting more stupid every fucking day! And the driving… "What do I do at a 4 way stop again? Oh, I'm on the right and I was here first… I guess I should wait until someone else goes… OK… now I'll go."


    2. James Michael Curley

      Baco guy, you got to get to be the IT droid in that op. Then you keep them in the dark about how much you need to do to keep things running. In that capacity, even when the president goes by, it's easy to look like; "Our bandwith is crashing, If I don't pull it up the whole freberslock will go down."

  30. SorosBot

    Gah, these vile bigoted fucktards really do want to start a religious war, a new Crusades against the brown Muslims. Fuck them. Maybe we should drop 2000 lb cement bricks on Branson, Missouri and Nashville, Tennessee.

  31. donner_froh

    Actions like this will spell the end of Obama if word gets out through all the Lame Stream Media

    Since this story is only being covered by the New York Fucking Times no one will ever know about it.

  32. johnnyzhivago

    Mitt Romney would fly his dog straight to Mecca and tie it to the top of the Kabala rock and let it poop all over it.

    Then these Mooslims would start showing Amurica some respect.

  33. DemmeFatale

    I guess the wingtards are not interested in protecting US soldiers.
    I'll bet this simple apology saves lives.

    (BTW: Keep those "oldie but goodie " photos coming, Wonkette!)

    1. FROTHY

      Disirregardless, civilized people usually apologize when they have done something wrong. I understand this has even been true of Americans. Also, too.

  34. owhatever

    The wingnuts have a thing about burning books, because it is easier and more wackadoodle fun than reading them.

  35. prommie

    The fucktards always, always turn to their secret fascination, sodomy, in times like this. Someone tell me, there has to be a post, there must be multiple posts, threatening or fantasizing about shoving Korans, and boots, and gun barrels, up various people's anuses, are there?

    1. MoeDeLawn

      careful – they could retaliate with tales of buttsechs in the comments they read on this …

      wait. I said "read." Never mind.

      1. FROTHY

        The difference is, buttsechs here on teh Wonketz is voluntary and enjoyed. The sodomy they speak of is always forceful and involves an unwilling recipient.

        It's just like their attitudes towards sex/rape.

  36. RedneckMuslin

    “But then the media crawls all over Santorum for telling the truth: we are in the clutches of Satan and Obama is the facilitator…”

    There is a person alive that thinks this.

    1. GOPCrusher

      President Santorum will don his chain mail and armor, climb aboard his war stallion, and lead the forces of Xtianity in a Holy Crusade to rescue Jerusalem from the Infidels, with the blessings of The Pope.

  37. teebob2000

    Let's all wipe our asses with the fucking Book of Moron and see how much Mittens enjoys desecrating HIS beloved book.

    Better yet, let's first shit ourselves wearing magic fucking Mormon underwear, too.

      1. James Michael Curley

        That’s how we ended up in this mess. Dubya wanted to punish the Marines and sent to Iraq because every time he was near them they would yell “Hoo Rah” and he thought they were talking about Laura.

      1. James Michael Curley

        I forgot about the Red Sea. Before Obama became president it wasn't the socialist commie Sea it is now.

    1. BaldarTFlagass

      Tulips are Dutch. European, as it were. Them are Texas Bluebonnets through which the Saudi royal and his rentboy are tiptoeing. Texan through and through, to the point that they are our state flower. I'm not much of a Texas chauvinist, but they are lovely.

        1. yyyaz

          Found everywhere in the western U.S. of America. Leave it to the bloatfish Repubelick of Tex-ass to be so insular and provincial to appropriate it as their own and then demand everyone else call it Texass bluebonnet.

          1. FROTHY

            Really? I thought it was native to the Southwest, TX in particular, and then spread outward from there. But I really don't know for sure. I seem to remember something about Lady Bird Johnson being a great proponent of native flora, and starting some kind of program to raise the profile of native plants and flowers.

            All I know is, lupines don't seem to do well in my overly cool soil. I've tried them about a dozen times, and so far, I've succeeded in getting two little sprouts, both of which died young. And I did everything short of peeling the seed coat off with my teeth.

          2. FROTHY

            Why, yyyaz! I had no idea you cared!

            I'm not planning to try it ever again. The seeds just seem to rot or the plants die. Everything else does SO well, it just seems a shame to keep trying to force these poor little guys, they *clearly* don't like my weather. Echinacea doesn't do so well either. Spindly, with tiny stunted little flowers and a <40% germination rate.

    2. MadBrahms

      You just need to make a flash / youtube version with swooning classical music (or maybe something from Kismet?) in the background, and it will be perfect.

      1. BlueStateLibel

        Ummm, good idea… I'm thinking "Wild Horses" by the Rolling Stones or "Angie." It will be beautiful (and I'll add the kissy ones).

    1. GOPCrusher

      And he showed those filthy Muslims when he pulled the Marines out of Beirut after they suicide bombed their barracks.

  38. Tundra Grifter

    Wow! I thought I was cold – you guys make me feel much better.

    Those are some solid shots right there!

    1. Generation[redacted]

      These dumbasses have it in their heads that we did a good thing in Iraq. I wish they would go there and allow Iraqis to express their gratitude in person.

  39. banana_bread

    Aw, come on! Finding crazy in a Freeper thread is like bowling with the bumpers on. There's no challenge!

  40. proudgrampa

    You know, I am all for sensitivity to other people's beliefs. But I gotta admit, I don't really give a rat's ass whether Muslims get all strung out about troops destroying a Koran.

    On the other hand, I really don't give a damn about the wingtards who think Obama is wrong to apologize.

    So I guess I'm neutral on this one…

    1. GOPCrusher

      Well, its that old "Winning the hearts and minds" thing. When you state that you are engaged in a war against terrorism and not a war against a specific religion, it kind of looks bad when you destroy their symbols of that religion.

  41. Loaded_Pants

    "A 2000 lb cement brick should be dropped on the Kabala rock right now. With a warning that the next 2000 lb. item dropped on that spot will be live."
    Was the poster referring to themselves?

  42. MozakiBlocks

    I'd like to apologize for Free Republic but that would mean assuming responsibility for them and I ain't doing that.

  43. GOPCrusher

    Actually, I can't believe Freepers have time to post comments on the web site, what with being out on S&D missions all day in the mountains of Afghanistan.
    After humping all day, I'd just want to sleep.

    1. widestanceromance

      No, THIS is too far:

      Curtains parting in the night,
      let me in your sweet delight

      [I'm pretty sure she's who Robyn Hitchcock was thinking about.]

  44. chascates

    Via TPM:

    Newt Calls Obama's Apology To Karzai An 'Outrage'

    The Gingrich campaign released the following statement regarding President Obama's reported apology sent to Afghan President Karzai, over the burning of the Quran by NATO troops:

    It is an outrage that President Obama is the one apologizing to Afghan President Karzai on the same day two American troops were murdered and four others injured by an Afghan soldier. It is Hamid Karzai who owes the American people an apology, not the other way around.

    Gingrich added:

    This destructive double standard whereby the United States and its democratic allies refuse to hold accountable leaders who tolerate systematic violence and oppression in their borders must come to an end.

    But if some one burns a Bible or the American flag . . .

  45. Generation[redacted]

    For true effect, we would need a much more powerful Afghan army stationed in Alabama, acting with impunity and with full air support. Then they could burn a bunch of bibles and see if the locals react peaceably or with their 2nd Amendment Remedies.

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