Florida Representative Richard Steinberg is currently under investigation for sending very, very awkward (and yet strangely TAME, if you discount the whole creepsville, anonymous, I-know-your-child’s-name aspect of it) text messages to a longtime colleague, female prosecutor Marlene Fernandez-Karavetsos. Steinberg, 39, cleverly employed ’90s technology (Yahoo) and a ’90s screen name (itsjustme24680) to mask his cell phone number so he could send rather boring missives to Ms. Fernandez-Karavetsos, 37, a married woman and new mother whom he’d known professionally for 15 years (15 years! Just pick up the phone! Or maybe not!) Among Steinberg’s attempts at shooting the shit: “Sexxxy mama?” Good one.
Some excerpts of the exchanges, which occurred over a space of three months in the fall of yesteryear:
Steinberg: Sexxxy mama?
Fernandez-Karavetsos: How do I know you?
Fernandez-Karavetsos: Leave me alone.
Steinberg: Is that anyway [SIC] to treat a friend? LOL.
Yes, LOL.
Steinberg also asked Fernandez-Karavetsos things like, “How’s motherhood?” (she’d just had a child) and “Getting any sleep?” He also referred to her son BY NAME, the psycho. When Fernandez-Karavetsos pressed Steinberg to identify himself, he wrote back, “Considering we’re both married parents, probably best I not answer that at this point.”
OOH, SO SCANDALOUS, SO SEXY.
Being a total fool, Steinberg made it really easy for the authorities to track his Yahoo account to his Miami house. The Yahoo account was registered under the name Mr. Just Me, and Steinberg apparently thought that if he wrote something like Just My House in the address box, no one would ever know.
Anyway, he’s now admitting to everything:
I acknowledge and take full responsibility for sending inappropriate and unsolicited messages to Mrs. Marlene Fernandez-Karavetsos, whom I have known for more than 15 years. I deeply regret and wholeheartedly apologize for the disrespect that I have shown her, her husband and my constituents. Most importantly, words cannot express how sorry I am to my wife, for the disrespect I have shown her, and my entire family.
Yeah, good thinking with the whole “most importantly” bit. Fernandez-Karavetsos (who is married to a federal prosecutor! How wonderful!) declined to comment. [Tampa Bay Times]
{ 239 comments }
Nothing new to see here, move along.
I disagree…
This guy's über-*ick* factor begs the question: to what extent can a perversion become even more perverted?
Note: I didn't use the word "pervert" to describe this creep. He appears on all counts to be a 'perversion,' himself.
Rent boys and meth seem kinda quaint compared to this IMO. Everyone needs to get laid but this is cyber stalking weirdo freak shit. There's an element of instilling fear involved. Ick indeed.
nvb911:
I agree. Mr. Steinberg is a Democrat. Had this ugly incident happened between a Republican man and a woman, that would be news.
He is a Democrat. If he was a Republican he would be sexting a goat. "Hey, momma, I'd baaahd."
I should've read the link.
There's something very deeply sick about harrassing a woman who just had a baby. Not just the whole social "women and children first, protect the family" bullshit, but — and maybe this is different for other folks — there is *nothing sexy* about a woman with a brand-new baby. Probably for good sound biological reasons. People who have just spawned require time to raise the spawn to a reasonably self-sufficient stage before making the beast with two backs once more. But that is the stage in the (human, certainly) organism's lifecycle when it's making lots of oxytocin and other "bonding" chemicals and not so much the fucking chemicals.
Plus, geez, women who have just spawned are like fucking hormone factories. They are temporarily insane and should be approached with GREAT caution. In fact, preferably, they should be left in peace except for regular offerings of food. Because they will fucking kill you if you mess with them. And at that stage, they're all mostly crazy about Teh Babby! They're at the "EVERYONE Wants To Hurt My Babby" stage, and the best way to get along with them is to say "Yes, dear," while slowly backing out of the room.
So why would this miserable motherfucker want to mess with this poor lady? Especially since he's a dad himself, so he ought to know what the laydeez go through with this shit. I hope her husband stomps this guy's balls. Because if he leaves HER to take care of this shit, she's gonna rip 'em off and eat 'em.
"There's something very deeply sick about harrassing a woman who just had a baby."
As a childless female, I'd like to say that its deeply sick to harass any of us regardless of our reproductive status.
It's sick to harrass any human being, but the laydeez when they have the baybeez, the hormones are flooding their system and making their brains all krayzee. Srsly. If you've ever dealt with a woman who just had a baby, even they will admit it. They're not sane until their hormone levels stabilize.
I thought it was my lack of sleep, pain in my lady parts and my tiny kids(each was born early) needing nursing every 2 hours. This was over20years ago & I am still hormonal over it
Your impressive p-ness is a dead giveaway.
*preens*
In all fairness, my sick predilection for fantasizing horrible outcomes for every possible set of given facts is also a, heh, dead giveaway, but who's bragging?
"…maybe this is different for other folks — there is *nothing sexy* about a woman with a brand-new baby. …Plus, geez, women who have just spawned are like fucking hormone factories. They are temporarily insane and should be approached with GREAT caution."
They tell guys about this in the baby-birthing classes, but it has to be witnessed first hand to be truly appreciated.
Yah, I found out for myself the hard way. No matter how many times someone tells you "be nice to the ol' lady, she just had a babby," it's only when you encounter a screaming hysterical shitfit of epic proportions from someone you've always known to be cool, calm, brilliant, logical, nay, even NORMAL.
I basically froze for a couple of hours and never again repeated the offence. The thing is, they ALL react the same way. I have yet to encounter ONE pregnant or recently pregnant woman who is not a chemical stew for a few months to a few years.
It's no fun watching someone get hormonally whipsawed, but given what she's gone through (and is still dealing with) it's not too much to ask that we suck it up and deal.
My husband would SO agree with you.
Also, the "EVERYONE Wants A Piece Of Me!" stuff is pretty strong.
Don't even think about making (another) demand on a new mother's body.
Yah, I didn't understand about that at first, being a great believer in the healing properties of touch (heh heh), but the laydeez they get awfully crabby when they've been chewed on by a babby all day. It's got something to do with not wanting ANYBODY ELSE in their private space.
I guess I should change my screenname?????
Perv.
2 4 6 8 (zero), Who do we appreciate? (zero)
A/S/L?
Florida is a god-forsaken place.
Except on the Gulf Coast, where you can forget about the assholes in the rest of the state.
I've never noticed a drop in the asshole concentration when driving across the state. Seem pretty uniform to me.
There are pockets of sanity. Not many.
Poor lonely guy.
Whatevs. Everyone knows that "Leave me alone" and "How do I know you?" are textspeak for "I have black lace panties on" and "Sexxx me with that big, crooked nose of yours".
And "never contact me again" really means "don't take no for an answer, no matter how hard I struggle." That's common knowledge, right?
Well according to half the romantic comedies I've seen, that's always the case.
I know! This guy was just stealing moves from Tom Hanks in "You've Got Mail (from a creepy stalker)". But most rom coms are just a rip off of that timeless classic "When Harry Raped Sally".
You've Got Mail is extra creepy. Once he realizes who she is Tom Hanks uses everything she has ever said to get her in the sack without her realizing he's the same guy she's been emailing. All while putting her out of business without even a "sorry". Creep.
Since I was a little girl I've thought that Rhett Butler from Gone With The Wind was the perfect man, a man who only showed passion for his wife when he raped her.
No wonder us women have such fucked up ideas of romance.
Wow, young women these days just don't seem to have been exposed to that Common Wisdom we all grew up with. (Elbows MissTaken) Huh, chickie?
Don't you know that joke the boys just love to tell?
If a lady says No, she means Maybe.
If a lady says Maybe, she means Yes.
If a lady says Yes, she's no lady.
Didja get that, little lady? Huh? Huh?
UGH I remember some assclown kid telling that one back in the 5th grade…I suddenly had a flashback of bell-bottoms, banana bikes and Miss Hale's homeroom.
It's sad that nothing has really evolved since the dawn of time (or in this case, 1970). LOL
Hon, that joke was big back in the 1950s. And yeah, nothing has changed.
I'm bad with social cues, so when I first heard it, I totally didn't get it and kept trying to argue with the eejit who told it to me. I never did understand racist jokes either.
And to think for all these years I've taken "No" to mean "No." And to think of all the fun I could have had stalking and raping women. Damn.
There's still time.
It's way too late for Lionel[redacted]. He's learned how to be a human being.
If only that was so. Sadly, I am an attorney.
Bill Kristol got a nasty haircut right there! Did his gay hair stylist drop him as a client and now he's got to go with a $12 trim?
If he had just gone with $12 trim, this whole mess could have been avoided.
Hon, that would be his *dad.* If Irving had gone with the $12 trim, we wouldn't have Little Billy to kick around today.
NR:
Is that what Eddie Murphy was looking for in 48 Hours?
Eddie was looking for a little free trim, TG.
He’d just been sprung from prison and didn’t have $12.
At least this time when Faux puts a D beside his name that it will be true.
I would have guessed that just from the fact the he was hitting on a woman.
Was he hitting on the woman? Or fucking with her head by telling her he knew about her kid?
Would not be surprised if Faux takes this one as their own, for Het Cred.
Tits or GTFO!
She's cute but no knockout. Google Image her name, it's the first result. Group pic, blue dress. No link, trying to be a little less of a pig this year.
What, no sending photo's of him bare chested in the bathroom mirror for her to fantasize to when she's bleary eyed and nursing at 3 in the morning?
Sexxxxy mama
Dick pics or GTFO!
This is Tim Pawlenty's idea of hawt sexting.
Who?
zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
Even the Democratic pols in FLA are creepy. What is it with that state?
I'm sure the pythons aren't helping.
Knock. Knock.
Marlene: "Yes, hello, who is it?"
Muffled Voice: "Landshark."
Marlene: "Oh, no way I am letting you in."
Knock. Knock.
Marlene: "Who is it?"
Muffled Voice: "Pizza Delivery."
Landshark: "Candygram."
TrouserSnakes?
I'm waiting for the blowout battle between the pythons and the alligators.
Here you go!
http://news.nationalgeographic.com/news/2005/10/1…
It doesn't end well for either side.
Gah!
I *really* didn't need lunch, anyway.
Floridians are heat-stroked parasites clinging to Americas flaccid penis. Stuff like this is to be expected.
Not all of us, buster!
Most Floridians. Present company excepted, obviously.
BTF:
Read any of Tim Dorsey's hilarious novels. It's a very, very strange place…
Carl Hiassen is a state treasure.
Oblios_Cap:
No question both Carl Hiassen and Dave Barry are funny.
Tim Dorsey captures the sick underbelly – I hesitate to compare any other book to "Fear & Loathing in Las Vegas" – that just isn't fair – but Dorsey has managed to include the drug-fueled crazy, greedy pursuit of the good life at the cost of the environment and, has been pointed out here already, the citizens' souls.
My Pop has read most of these writers; now that they have the Wonkette Seal of Approval, I'll have to check them out.
Has anyone read any Doc Ford novels by Randy Wayne White? I can attest that his restaurant has pretty good grub, but I'll leave the book reviews to the experts here. :-)
Every time I read one of Hiaasen's fine tributes to his native state, I rethink my holiday plans. To as far from FL as I can humanly get.
My parents lived down on Big Pine Key for about 5 years back in the mid-90s. I visited them once; that was enough.
We went to south beach for thanksgiving despite being old and straight
Sick Puppy is my favorite book, probably of all time.
I have never laughed so hard and out loud just reading. Removing all the marble eyes from the idiot's trophy room….brilliant, and that's just one example.
Have you read *all* his books? The guy is simply batshit insane, I sometimes think. No, wait, he lives in FL and this kind of shit probly really *does* happen there.
I'm from Florida and reading Dorsey's Hammerhead Motel Ranch. It's giving me bad flashbacks.
I wish I could recommend a palate-cleanser, but I'm reading about torture and murder fer realz right now. Not exactly, um, yeah.
I once had to host a business conference held at Amelia Island Plantation and just driving out of the Jacksonville airport I was freaked out by the billboards. If I hadn't have been paid for being there, I would have turned around and gone home. And why is the word "plantation" suitable for contemporary use?
I've always enjoyed South Beach, though. Good food and music, cool hotels. When are we going to turn over the Dept. of Housing and Urban Renewal to The Gheyz? I would like to see their famous "agenda" applied nationwide. It's positively criminal that GLBTs aren't allowed to have weddings in South Beach.
Marlene Fernandez-Karavetsos is a cutie. Not that that gives Steinberg license to be a douchebag, but at least he has taste.
Geeze — doesn't anybody pick up strangers in bars anymore?!
Yeah but then he wouldn't get to rock her world with that ultra-clever "itsjustme24680" line!
Well, he got nowhere with MrGoodbar123, his previous online ID.
Thought it was Casey Anthony's phone and was jsut trying ot score?
It would have worked if he had just used " Next Door to Just My House".
I was wondering if the creep in question was a D or an R. Then I remembered: "Duh, the texts were sent to a woman."
The problem with Florida (below the panhandle) is that it's an entirely artificial community. There are no roots. The population has no connection to each other. It's all these unhappy people from other parts of the country, crammed into sub-development after sub-development. No family ties, no community ties, no local organizations, no history. Hard drug use is rampant, the schools are in decay. The only thing Florida effectively produces is emo chicks, pill-heads and professional football players.
Now that the bottom fell out of the housing/employment market, there's nothing to hold the state together. The I-4 corridor is hell on earth. The place has no soul.
(This also applies, to a lesser extent, to the Inland Empire in California and the sprawl around Las Vegas and Phoenix)
Florida and California were settled for the same reason, by the same people, at the same time (the 1920s): Noo Yawkahs, looking to run away as far as possible from their creditors, looking for more marks to grift. Most importantly, if and when John Law finally caught up with them, there was a whole 'nother country they could flee to in less than three hours.
It's no coincidence that the current epicenters of grift (other than Wasilla) are Newport Beach and Fort Lauderdale.
Slight correction: settled by antisocial New Yorkers. The socially-adept types, who get along with other races, creeds, and cultures, tend to stick around.
I think we can agree to compromise on the word "sociopath."
Stop calling me names. I'm really not that bad in person.
"Florida and California were settled for the same reason, by the same people, at the same time (the 1920s): Noo Yawkahs, looking to run away as far as possible from their creditors, looking for more marks to grift."
Not completely true. At least not in my little corner of the Sunshine State.
For decades Florida went out of its way to lure retirees. We got them here with no state income tax and no sales tax on food. Geezers and citrus were pretty much everything here (except for Miami) for a solid forty years. Then the population of the state doubled in the 18 years between the opening of Disney World and the cancellation of Miami Vice. That's how we got the way we are today.
MittsHairHelmet's description: "It's all these unhappy people from other parts of the country, crammed into sub-development after sub-development. No family ties, no community ties, no local organizations, no history…" is sadly accurate for well over half of Floridians. It's also a dead-on homage to the prose style of Florida's greatest writer John D. MacDonald.
MH2 makes a valid and well written point, as do you.
However, allow me to submit Exhibit A, counselor: Groucho in "The Cocoanuts:"
"You can get wood. You can get brick. You can get stucco. Boy, can you get stucco."
The other problem with Florida below the panhandle is that it's ALWAYS flaccid.
He obviously wishes he had Jessie's girl.
Anonymously hitting on Federal prosecutors is just Dating 101. Where 101 represents the minimum sentence you can expect.
With a name like Fernandez-Karavetsos, she's got to be good!
Latin/Greek 2012.
The automobile of prosecutors.
With the emphasis on "bile," especially after this experience.
She's a state prosecutor and her husband is a Federal prosecuter. LoserBoy sure knows how to pick 'em.
A fed prosecutor of Greek heritage, no less. Perfect choice for hitting on the wife. Obviously, this twerp never got to the "What could possilbly go wrong?" stage of adventure planning.
Husband: "Should we report him to the Feds?"
Wife: "Or to his wife?"
(in unison): "Both!" (Terrist fist-bump.) "Hahahahahaha!!!"
Yeah, I get the feeling that they looked at each other and said, "Let's get 'im."
Why does that pic of that guy put me in mind of the movie poster for The 40 Year Old Virgin?
Why, is there a picture of Santorum up there?
Hell, I'm still shocked that Gingrich could get laid three times.
I keep thinking he's Freakshow from Harold and Kumar. Either way, icky.
You may be thinking of the movie, "The 40 Year Old Serial Killer".
Doesn't he know he's supposed to take a picture with his phone in his bathroom; naked from the waist up? Sheesh, git with it! LOL.
Gaahhh! Did not see Northstar's comment above. Refresh thy browser!
Tada! Now there will be another guy in the market for a bus… so he can have somewhere to sleep.
Just send her a picture of your cock,already.(It worked out really well for Brett Favre)
That guy has a really tall head, doesn't he? Apparently it's not to store extra brain capacity, though.
Those Pachycephalosaurus genes still come out every now and then.
Dolichocephalics don't necessarily have anything more between their ears than brachycephalics.
Needs moar dick pics.
Wait, sending anonymous harassing texts to women doesn't make them want to sleep with you? Hm guess I've been going about this dating thing all wrong…
How do I know you?
Considering we’re both married parents, probably best I not answer that at this point.
Oh, did you get a li'l Betta?
But seriously, now that you've said you have black lace panties on, tell me more…
What a fool — his first move should have been taking her to the strip club for a buffet lunch.
Lead them not into temptati … oh, right, I thought you were the Other Guy for a minute.
That joke was just on some show but I can't remember what show
Oh, is that how you and MissT ended up together? (squeezes the SorosBot)
You guys saw how we got together; it happened right here in the comments! Well the opening stages at least.
True, but the middle stages did include a shitload of harassing emails
…sent from me to you, of course
Of course. SB is just too sweet and nice to ever harass a pretty lady. Especially since the clever li'l devil seems to have figured out how to get 'em without harassing 'em.
Well those dick pics were a bit of a surprise… ;)
Oh, hell to the yeah! Most enjoyable thing to happen on the Wonketz during my entire time here! I can't wait till y'all get married and move in together and raise a fine little family of Siamese fighting-fish, like the multiculti parents you're bound to be!
This epic loser even sucks at creepy texting. A case of busch ice says the FL repugnantcans throw him under the bus.
Truth be told, I post more creepy comments before noon than this guy ever sent in his best week.
Yeah; but here, that kind of behavior is encouraged.
I dunno, when Liz C. first posted here, I spent the day promoting her posts, and was called-out as 'creepy'.
To paraphrase Ron Paul's comments regarding bailouts last night, There's good creepy and bad creepy. Though I think I called you out as her husband or boyfriend or mother or something.
I thought it was someone else. Oh well.
"Ms. Fernandez-Karavetsos", that name makes me horny and hungry at the same time : hows that?
Stick a pin in me at any random moment and I am likely to be horny and hungry at the same time; corelation is not causation.
Tell me more. (Pours drink, turns on vape)
I wonder how many times this flawless plan totally worked before he got shot down here?
You mean, as in, "how many of the *other* 800 women were not attorneys by training, and ended up collapsed in sobbing fetal balls instead of prosecuting his worthless ass"? Like that "flawless plan totally worked"?
Had to try that with the Federal Prosecutors wife, eh Einstein? I thought evolution was supposed to take care of this kind of thing ?
She's a state prosecutor her own self, so yeah, Idiot Boy isn't getting high marks for smart choices this week.
Hmmmmmmm, a state representative in Florida acting like an asshole, reminds of this guy:
http://www.towleroad.com/2007/08/rep-bob-allen-c….
I wonder if he still goes to the park and offers blow jobs.
Ah, yes. The one who tried to defend himself by claiming that he was offering the undercover officer a blowjob because he was worried that the big black stranger was going to kill him. Really, that one deserves a wing all to itself in the hall of fame.
He tried to cure his fear of black men by offering to give one a blow job?! I've heard of facing one's fears but not by cramming your face full of it.
ZOMG, HIM! That guy is so fucking hilarious. Ugly as sin, hits on a black undercover cop in the terlet, and then tries to LIE his way out of the ensuing hilarious prosecution.
It's amazing what people will do just to get out of that town.
Sexytime with a Latin "beat."
Yeah, 'cept he's the one getting 'beat.'
More like a Latin beatdown.
He's so inept at this, he probably sent her a text that read "what am I wearing?"
He kept waiting for her to text heavy breathing sounds.
Betcha the answer was Just Jockey.
No references to loofahs? Bill O'Rielly laughs at you.
The story doesn't say what political party, but I'm assuming Dem, given that he stalked a 37-year-old woman and not a 13-year-old boy.
Funny, but we all of us seem to have had the same exact thought. Hittin' on LayDeez? Can't POSSIBLY be an R! Sheesh. I wonder if their sheeple have figured that out yet.
Republicans: putting the "duh" in Floriduh for fifty years.
"Sorry for the entire family" is right, especially when your dad once held the same office you're serving.
Too bad; I've been enjoying reading Steve Martin's The Pleasure of My Company, and struck by how the author makes his stalker characters more-than-endearing in personality — probably because they are something less-than-stalker in how their personae emerge.
Listening to the audiobook of The Pleasure… is also a treat, since it's narrated by Steve Martin himself.
Attention Republicans: please note the lack of diapers, dicks, divorcees, or dudes in this story. See, this is the way you do a properly boneheaded sex scandal. You're welcome.
Also lacking in transgenders, wetsuits, and lies about hiking trips.
I kinda liked the lies about hiking trips.
Also condoms on the buttplug, autoerotic asphyxiation, and porn pix of little kids in the thousands. Too.
Don't forget the green balloons, roofies and knives!
I'm beginning to wonder if Democrats have boring sex lives or what.
So bored by these texts. You think that they have classes for this on K Street so that the people with (R) after their name are more inventive?
At least Faux News won't have to delete an (R) and insert a (D) before running with the story. That should make their day.
Sexxxy Wonkette?
Getting any?
Republican Values! They need their very own special media. Maybe 'TWAT's that you say? Sorry, I CUNT hear you!'
"… because I have a slut ear infucktion."
See? Everyone thinks its only those old guys who do stupid things like that, some of the younger ones are just as stupid!
Where did you think the old stupid ones come from?
Without a picture of Marlene Fernandez-Karavetsos breastfeeding, how are we supposed to judge?
Nothing like a really hairy tit or two.
Being Flodrida and all, the only way to prevent having to spend more time with his family now is to burn a couple of Korans.
JustMe? And JustPixelz? No relation.
What happens in The Penis State™, never stays in The Penis State™. Damnit.
What a coincidence! All my text messages get those same replies: "Leave me alone" and "Who is this" and "I'm calling the FBI". What? She didn't say that last one?
I NEVER said that. Well, not that part about the FBI, anyway.
Ha ha, his apology will not be accepted at all, because he is a Democrat.
My comment got deleted by admin. My point was that if we hold the GOP to a set of standards that we define, we should hold our own reprentatives to a higher standard than that.
Wouldn't it simplify things to just hold everyone to the same standard? For example, the "Don't send creepy messages" standard which is already widely recognized.
I covered that in my original post. I think sexytime between closeted meth heads is more forgivable than flat out Internet stalking. Stalking involves projecting fear. Freaks will be freaks but at least they're consenting to it. Stalking is about creating fear. GOP or Dem, this guy is a twisted individual and we as liberals cannot claim moral highground without condemning this shit sack for what he is, a fucking creep.
Uh . . . Does this poor loon need classes in more interesting stalking phrases? He'll have lots of time to study–after he errrr, decides to spend more time with his unlucky family.
Pay attention, Republicans. This is how you court the women vote.
So timid….
You said that porpoisely!
Bags I them first.
(Unrelated to this post)
FUCKIN FUCK CLIENTS MAKE WANT FUCKIN KILL THEM~!!!!!!
Baconz is pretenging to e-mail someone to make this fucking fuck shut up!!!! John's on FUCKING VACATION AND NOT ON THE CLOCK YOU FUCKING FUCK!!!!! I don't want to do work on vacation and guess what fuckin fuck. HIS CELL AND E-MAIL…..I'M THE ONE IN CHARGE OF HIS CLIENTS!!!!!! hE iS oN vAcAtIOn!!!!!!!! Ever since they took Department Director Dale off his responsibilities Baconz gotta pick up the slack?!?!?!11???!!!!///!!!??!???!?!
Thank you for letting me rant.
(this comment is 100% snark free)
Sounds like Baconz is the one that needs a little vacation, rather than John.
Christ, Baconz. Take some time off, willya?
(Rubs the li'l piglet's shoulders) It'll be OK, toots. Just imagine roasting that irritating fuck on a spit over some nice hot flames. Or, better yet, consigning him to Biely's Special Room.
Clients. Can't live with 'em, can't disembowel them and leave their bodies on the freeway.
Look, I know we aren't supposed to use the R-word, but there is no other for this cretin's behavior.
Yeah there is- stupid, idiotic, career ending. Let's retire that word
Well, what the fuck else is a Democrat in the Florida Legislature supposed to do with his time?
Just remember as you're reading that a great deal of the mayhem Dorsey describes is stuff that actually happened — like the Old guy who hits a pedestrian and drives around with the body halfway through his windshield for a few hours. Happened in Tampa.. Tons of stuff like that in Dorsey's books.
You do not have to make shit up to make Florida sound crazy. You just have to change the names to protect the guilty.
SoB:
I believe that also happened in Texas. A lady hit a homeless guy, drove home, parked in the garage, and actually "checked" on him several times until he died…
" Most importantly, words cannot express how sorry I am…" That I fucking got caught!
Wow, maybe soon he'll upgrade to Friendster.
We did, my second was conceived when the first was 18 months. But maybe I was asleep when it happened
LOL, probly.
I have a friend who's about 1 year younger than her sister. She refers to the phenomenon as "Irish Twins."
Is there a new supertight admin script, or what? It seems like when I was first here, hardly anybody ever got deleted unless they mentioned certain mathematical fields and their possible relation to different mental abilities. Nowadays, you can hardly say anything before the admin script eats it. Wut, is Ken Layne selling the shop to AOL, or wut?
Oh, he apologized? Well, then, that FIXES EVERYTHING.
Yeah, I'm sure this is the only woman he ever used that secret software to hide his phone number, his anonymous email account, and his fake address on.
I can't think of a single father I've ever heard complain about this. I'm sure there are some out there, but I've never run into one. Every guy I know was way too stunned and humbled by the whole deal.
I'm actually a little grateful you brought this up. It's been over ten years since I've been directly involved with a newborn, and I'd pretty much forgotten how scary and overwhelming it is.
He's a creepy looking fucker.
Mark Foley IS a fellow Floridian and would probably be more than willing to help you craft more effective sexxy txts. Just sayin'.
The Bro Code is pretty clear on this subject: Avoid women in law enforcement.
… and especially women who have lots of FBI agents in their cell phone directory.
But he's OUR sexting creepy pervert.
"itsjustme" = low self-esteem
Hey Liz, Wonkette 101: Put which party in the post.
BTF:
If you can, read them in the order in which they were written. They will make more sense – and you can watch the crazy grow.
I've never seen You've Got Mail, and now, frankly, I'm not sure I want to.
I think the creepiest part about this was the guy insinuating that he somehow had some power over her kid. I don't know if anybody else remembers this, but about ten years ago, there was a guy in California who was calling women about their kids. He would stalk the women, find out where their kids were sent to daycare or school, learn all kinds of details about the mothers and their children, and then he would cold call the women at home and claim he had their kids with him. The mothers would go nuts, because, of course, they had no way of knowing if he was lying. Then he would describe what he planned to do to the kids.
This guy isn't at that stage yet, but if someone contacted me and told me they knew my kid, my first thought would be "What is this bastard trying to do to my kid?"
And those same movies tell young men that, if you are attracted to a woman, it doesn't matter whether she says she wants you, just keep going after her and eventually she'll find she loved you all along. It's like a recipe for turning guys into stalkers; no wonder people are so fucked up.
Or, to turn to the Onion again:
http://www.theonion.com/articles/romanticcomedy-b…
Ms. OC and I going to Tampa to see The Boss and going on down to Key West for a couple of days after the show. Then we're heading up the east coast – Not using I-95 – to St. Augustine, stopping at some beach along the way. I refer to it as "The Circumcising America's Dinghus™ Tour 2012".
oooh, yeah, I understand that. My parents are down the line a bit from there, I still have a love/hate relationship with their town. Sadly, Florida really does have a load of racist assholes, no matter how pretty some areas may be. They're why we can't have nice things.
Yes, dear.
All I know is, if men had to get pregnant and give birth the human race would already have died out.
Believe it or not, there is a syndrome called Benign Encephalopathy of Pregnancy. It's like the temporary brain damage parallel of Postpartum Depression.
Halfway up along that route the "some beach" becomes SoBeach.
"I didn't say I wanted to take her to Florida. I just said I wanted to Tampa with her."
I'm going to Tampa to see Bruce too. It must have been the easiest venue to snag tickets to.
Oh, she sent you pictures of Weiner's wiener too, huh?
HisH: I read some of them. In may ways Doc Ford is a modern Travis McGee – without quite so much heavy-handed philosophy. John D. McDonald did predict quite a few things that were going to go wrong with Florida, as well as many things that already had. He was kinda stuck in "the good times were twenty years ago." Randy Wayne White writes fairly straight-up crime thrillers – as have several other Florida writers.
Dorsey is in a class by himself.
PS; I think Wonkette should have a book forum.
I've read several of them, too. Just straight-up detective fiction, nothing ground-breaking or arty. But if you're in the mood for a beach-read, or what I think of as a palate-cleanser between more challenging books, you certainly could do worse. He imparts a lot of knowledge about the flora and fauna of the Crazy State, as Doc Ford is a marine biologist.
X 2 on that book forum.
X(n)
Jukesgrrl:
I'll send Ken that suggestion via the "Tips" email account if you guys will also do it. Wonketters read – books are advertised here. There are the occasional reviews.
It's as natural as Meghan's McCanns.
Oh, now, that is good to know. (Hugs the Jukesgrrl)
Thank you. Nothing I love better'n a whodunit with SCIENCE!
Jukes:
I enjoy the Southern Florida comedy-crime novels by Laurence Shames. Entertaining.
The BEST "beach book" EVER must be "Dirt" by Stuart Woods!
Oh that is SO awful! Thanks!
My friend, I have ample proof from your many posts here that you have managed to embody that Buddhist ideal of, like the lotus, thriving in the muck yet rising above it. You are hereby disqualified from testifying *against* yourself, though always permitted to say a few words in your own defense.
Nothing I love better'n a whodunit with SCIENCE!
Check out Neal Stephenson's Zodiac
Did you watch that TV show Num3ers when it was on?That taught me a lot in a painless way since I am a math dolt.Totally unbelievable, but entertaining.
OK, thanks. Stephenson's absolute fun, although he's fond of writing multiple-thousand-page-turners, and I'm being prodded to purchase some kind of ebook system which I've successfully resisted so far on the grounds that most of my reading material is not available in such format. You'll convert the old Luddite yet, you young whippersnapper.
And here I thought it was Steinberg who was acting encephalopathic.
You talkin' to me? Huh? You talkin' to me? Oh, you are?
I haven't really watched TV since the 1960s, and even then, I didn't watch much. I've watched a bunch of SF shows/movies (Battlestar Galactica, ST, Deep Space Nine) and Sesame Street and other than that I think I've only ever watched BBC programs, you know, Shakespeare, The Forsythe Saga, Jewel In The Crown, Forster, that kind of shit. Oh, and Japanese TV. Zatoichi and Shintaro.
I've heard good things about Shames.I'll check him out.Florida appears to be a bottomless pit of murder, mayhem, and absurdity judging by the books that come out of there.(Edna Buchanan, anyone?)My librarian pal told me she thinks Stuart Woods is the most popular writer in the San Diego suburbs.She said they have acres of his books in their system and never enough to meet requests.I tried one and wasn't impressed with the prose, but maybe I got a weak plot.I'll give Dirt a try.Have to say I like the title.
The set-up could be as simple as the discussions on City-Data.Someone puts up a “review” and others can respond to it.It could be organized in sections like a bookstore:General Non-fiction,Political Books,Serious Fiction, Mystery/Spy Novels, Sports, etc.I'd even go for Cookbooks.Surely not all the Wonketeers eat Cheetos.City-Data operates with volunteer “moderators” who basically just show up if someone needs the banhammer.
I haven't read his books geared toward the tweens.I have read every book he's written himself; not the compilations. Lucky You & Native Tongue run a close second to SP.
He's not insane, he just reports on the insanity around him – with humour, verve and an unerring eye for the good that exists in ordinary human beings. His bad guys are over the top stupid, but ain't that just the way, bad guys are.
If pressed I do declare he is a real hero. I never use that word lightly.
Thanks for asking.
I haven't read the TweenLit either. I loved the two you mention. He is SUCH a good writer.
I think I like his ability to create incredibly eccentric yet (marginally, 'tis true, but nonetheless) believable characters of great complexity. His bad guys are truly stupid but they're also truly nasty, and pursued by circumstances that are borderline unbelievable. They're brutes whose misfortune is often largely a result of their own brutishness. Instead of being happy with the lottery ticket, they have to try to kill the holder; instead of being happy with scamming someone on a trailer sale, they have to try to steal his stamp collection or blackmail him as well. And it never occurs to them that their acts will have the consequences that the readers see coming a mile away. He handles setup very well, I think.
Thanks for the enlightening and fun chat.
Back at you.
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