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Liveblogging The Last Arizona Apocalypse & The End Of All Things

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He's been to Arizona like twiceIs it really already the last debate? Have there even been any before tonight? Wait, the intern telling us something… !!!… okay, so there have been about 20 debates! Thanks, intern. (You’re fired.) Well, this process has certainly made us a better nation. So let’s watch tonight’s CNN debate live from the gay Mexican firecracker hellscape of Arizona and type some nonsense about it.

8:00 — It being a CNN debate we have to sit through a full 47 minutes of “Next Week on CSI”-type briefer montages that humiliate the country, then candidate introductions, then some shitty song called “The Star Spangled Banner” that Mitt Romney always pretends to sing. John King says welcome! We’ve got old white gun nuts inside, old white gun nuts outside, old white gun nuts on stage. It’s going to be a banner night for illegal immigrants! (All of this happens while CNN plays this hilarious loop of a fake rock song that goes like “ENNNNGGHH… badaboom… ENNNGHH…badaboom”… okay, let’s save our energy.
8:04 — Ron Paul: “I am the champion of liberty.” *drops mic* (Why is he here?)
8:06 — Mitt Romney: “I want to restore America’s promise.” Why did the crowd applaud like mad for this useless fraud line? We sense a great presence of bused-in Mormons out there.
8:08 — Newt Gingrich: I’m Newt Gingrich and I won’t buttfuck the Saudi Arabian King if I’m president. (Fortunately he won’t be president, so he’ll be able to.)
8:10 — First question from an audience lady: What will you do about the debt! SMOKE BREAK.
8:11 — Mitt Romney is talking about repealing the Davis-Bacon Act! How the hell did this get in his first response for the night? WATCH YOUR BACK, WAGNER ACT.
8:12 — Rick Santorum, who voted to raise the debt ceiling a full 900 times during his years as a nasty dumb crook in the Senate, criticizes Mitt Romney for saying he would’ve raised the debt ceiling over the summer. Why wouldn’t you let the global economy crash forever for purely arbitrary reasons, Mittens?
8:13 — Rick Santorum regrets his No Child Left Behind yes vote because it “led to education spending.”
8:15 — Mitt Romney angrily notes that Rick Santorum is giving misleading attack lines. Neat…o…. blech ugh. Let’s just share our favorite niche porn instead of watching this.
8:17 — Ron Paul just called Rick Santorum a “fake” and is now giving a brief rambling history of the last 70 years as seen through his eyes. Oh, foreign aid! Wow why did they let Ron Paul just talk for 7 days?
8:19 — Ron Paul is flapping his weird old limp wrists all up in Rick Santorum’s face without even knowing it, ha ha. He can’t move voluntarily.
8:21 — Mitt Romney, you called yourself a “severely conservative” governor at CPAC. Would you care to comment on this most comically pathetic thing anyone’s ever said? Mitt Romney is telling us that he has run a business. If you can’t balance a budget in the private sector, he tells us for the third time tonight already, then you go out of business. (If you’re in a real pickle you can just extract an extra few dozen million in fees from the American Pad & Paper Company though, without doing any actual work). Mitt Romney has worked in the private sector, he notes.
8:24 — Newt Gingrich was asked a simple question and responded that we need to completely redefine the way we think about civilization and governance and humanity. No shit, Newt.
8:26 — Rick Santorum is proudly defending the ludicrously expensive military aircraft he saved with his long history of constant earmarks.
8:27 — “You voted for the Bridge to Nowhere” says Mitt Romney to Rick Santorum. Potent! God, what a fucking fraud. (I forget which one I’m talking about, too, maybe Wolf Blitzer.)
8:28 — Oh my God.
8:29 — Oh my God all of you! The crowd is booing out of confusion, they’re all talking over each other, Mitt Romney is contrasting the Olympics with the Bridge to Nowhere, Newt Gingrich is whining about not getting speaking time. There’s no order! Chaos! Chaos, boos, fire, chemtrails, sex, murder, heat!
8:32 — Ron Paul and Rick Santorum have totally legitimate defenses of earmarks, by the way. The crowd boos, for earmarks, which have been adding a whole $0 to total federal spending for some years now.
8:35 — Mitt Romney, great hero business monster of American politics, is explaining how he got the auto bailout completely wrong. (He phrases this differently.)
8:37 — You can tell that the auto bailout did truly piss off Mitt Romney, not merely in his typical “pretend to have any emotion” way. He was morally offended that Chrysler’s secured creditors at big bank vulture funds were asked to take a loss instead of getting paid off in full during the bankruptcy process. This is the sort of thing, maybe the only thing, that genuinely disgusts Mitt Romney.
8:44 — Ooh the first commercial break… and… ***DING DING DING “DELIST MEK” AD*** Drink a bottle of lead paint.
8:46 — A birth control question! The crowd loudly boos. Mitt Romney says hey, look what you did, John King. Newt Gingrich asks why the “elite media” never asked Barack Obama ABOUT HIS SUPPORT FOR INFANTICIDE during the 2008 election. Ugh. Sadly — very sadly — your Wonkette does remember the “elite media” asking him about this completely made-up vomit smear during that campaign.
8:49 — Rick Santorum, why do you hate sex? Rick Santorum: Well I was just reading Charles Murray’s new book… He may have said something after that, but it’s already an understandable answer.
8:50 — “NO, everything’s NOT going to be fine!” — Rick Santorum
8:51 — Ron Paul is a doctor so he has heard of The Pill.
8:52 — Romney: We need to teach The Liberals that parents are a good thing. Get the kids out of their community-raised apricot dildo farms & Marxist schoolhouses already.
8:55 — A BRIEF SUMMARY OF THIS SECTION: Two-parent married households are the key to success. Why can’t poor people fucking realize this and just do it?
8:57 — Rick Santorum confesses: He has voted for a bill before. Ron Paul just shakes his head.
8:58 — Mitt Romney: Rick, I was just watching you on the YouTubes saying you hate contraception. Do you know any good cat/lego/robot YouTubes?
9:00 — Mitt Romney is poorly discussing the differences between MittensCare and ObamaCare. There are none. When is the debate over? Oh, now Mitt Romney is hitting Santorum for his endorsement of Arlen Specter in 2004. Is this really such a thing? We highly doubt that Mitt Romney in 2004 was terrified of Arlen Specter for being too liberal.
9:01 — Mittens just clapped in Rick Santorum’s face, out of awkwardness.
9:06 — Mexicans!
9:07 — Rick Perry’s in the crowd! What courage for him; we didn’t think he’d be able to watch another debate for the rest of his life. Rick stop putting tacks on your wife’s seat! Rick! (Onstage: Newt Gingrich is being a fat dick.)
9:09 — And there’s Sheriff Joe in the crowd, looking like a total creep. Mitt Romney: Would you allow the filthy Mexicans to “self-deport,” or would you capture them and make them slaves like Joe Arpaio does? Mitt Romney would have an “EZ-PASS system” so people can self-deport without sitting through toll lines. “E-VERIFY,” that’s it. Not saying anything but just saying… EZ-PASS would’ve been a much cooler immigration plan.
9:12 — Question: Why are you all racist against white Marco Rubio?
9:18 — Dumb Internet question! Define yourself in one word, NOT TWO, NOT THREE. Paul: Bwahhh, Santorum: Poopcum, Romney: Lasers, Newt: Cookies.
9:22 — Gingrich is asked whether he thinks women should be able to serve in the front lines of The Wars, responds with a warning that a major American city could be nuked at any moment.
9:24 — They all say they’d listen to the advice of military people before allowing vaginas to serve on the front lines. What if the military people are okay with it? Then… stone… female soldiers… to death? Sure.
9:25 — Oh fuck, here we go with the Iran War portion. “It’s a pressing question at the moment,” notes twatwaffle John King. Why do you say that, John?
9:27 — John King is the worst broadcaster on all of television. We never thought we’d see a television personality pushing to make the Republican presidential candidates more hawkish on Iran, but here he is, asking for their invasion blueprints.
9:30 — Rick Santorum says he has been “on the trail of Iran” for eight years and wrote a bill about it “in 2008,” just a year or two after his humiliating defeat to flat cyborg Bob Casey. Has Rick Santorum been playing pretend-Senator in his dollhouse since his loss? And if so, can we join?
9:32 — Ron Paul is doing his thing where he’s the most rational politician in the country on Iran and Middle East policy in general, and mostly getting booed. Maybe our constant talk of nuking Iran is making the Iranians defensive and hindering progress? Boo fuck off!
9:34 — Wow, these guys just have nothing to talk about. They’re criticizing Obama for not doing all the things that he’s been doing re: Iran and Syria.
9:42 — Mitt Romney brags about his record of bringing Massachusetts to #1 in national education rankings from its lowly nadir of #1.
9:44 — If any of these fine souls ever gets to be president, ever child in the country will be homeschooled. Social progress!
9:45 — Ron Paul: Uguguuguguhhh no education ever bwah BWAHHH hhehhhh.
9:50 — Ten more minutes. What does idiot John King want to ask about Iranian wars this time? “What is the biggest misconception about you” right now? THAT WE DON’T CARE, JOHN. That we don’t care.
9:51 — Ron Paul: Oh, I don’t know, probably how the entire media and political establishment and most of my party and the American people think I’m a radical fucking minarchist lunatic from Space. It’s not true, John.
9;52 — Newt Gingrich: That I’m not Jesus + Zeus combined. I am, John.
9:53 — Mitt Romney: [gives stump speech]; John King: Biggest misconception was the question, Mittens; Romney: Rot in Hell, John, [resumes stump speech].
9:54 — Rick Santorum: That I can’t win since I have no money and no one likes me because I’m a whiny, grating washed-up bore. My mommy thinks I’m cool, John.
9:56 — Hey ho whoa hey, it’s over baby! Rick Santorum just ripped Ron Paul’s arm out of its socket.

Anyway thanks for showing up, to this, the last debate liveblog (until they schedule another emergency debate about nothing). Who won? Barack Obama won! Ha ha ha, ha… man is that post-debate joke old and unfunny. Hitler won, goodnight.

About the author

Jim Newell is Wonkette's beloved Capitol Hill Typing Demon. He joined Wonkette.com in 2007, left for some other dumb job in 2010, and proudly returned in 2012 as our "Senior Editor at Large." He lives in Washington and also writes for things such as The Guardian, the Manchester paper of liberals.

View all articles by Jim Newell

Comments

Hey there, Wonkeputians! Shypixel here to remind you to remember our Commenting Rules For Radicals, Enjoy!

  • chascates

    THE LAST FUCKING DEBATE!!!!!!!!!!!!

    • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com FROTHY

      RLY?

      • anonymousryan

        No, there's one in Portland, OR to come still.

  • Barb

    Instead of having a debate with the GOP candidates, maybe they should have a debate between the billionaires who are running the show with their PAC donations.

    • Crank_Tango

      They could just compete by stacking up money, I mean speech. Not a bad idea!

    • Tundra Grifter

      Remember when Scrooge McDuck and Flintheart Goldgloom had a contest to see who was the world's richest duck?

      They liquidated all their assets and made a huge pile of their cash and coin.

      Uncle Scrooge won by a dime.

      • Dashboard Shmoo

        Too bad they couldn't use math.

        • Tundra Grifter

          DS:

          Don'tcha think that would have made for a pretty boring comic?

          • Dashboard Shmoo

            Point taken

  • Limeylizzie

    Where are you Wonketteers? I will have to pleasure myself, with that picture of Walnuts in my head, while I wait.

    • SudsMcKenzie

      Why don't you just play that video of Hopey singing last night instead.

      • Limeylizzie

        Oh man, he is so sexy.

        • SudsMcKenzie

          I figured that got you going.

          • Limeylizzie

            Apart from the hideousness of the opposition, I will be sad if the beauty of that man is not around as much come November.

    • Barb

      We're here for ya, Lizzie!

  • chascates

    Oooohh! CNN is taking viewer questions!

    "Mr. Former Speaker, have you given up adultery for Lent?"

    • Crank_Tango

      "Have you gotten head from your next wife yet?"

    • GeorgiaBurning

      "I will – can get me a date with her?" Yeah, cheap line

    • arihaya

      this give a new meaning for "No Meat for Friday"

    • MrFizzy

      More likely he will give up breathing

  • DrunkIrishman

    Santorum will try to perform an exorcism on Romney, while Romney tries to baptize all of Santorum's dead relatives. Gingrich will just stand in the corner, back to everyone, pretending to make out with someone.

  • BaldarTFlagass

    I'm so excited! They said it was the Final Four! But I never filled out my brackets…

  • V572 Flambé

    I'm here for you, LL.

    • Limeylizzie

      Thanks baby.

    • chascates

      And we're waiting for video.

      • V572 Flambé

        Just post your checking account and ABA numbers here, and we'll draft your account after sending you the DVD.

  • http://gratuity.wordpress.com/ Gratuitous World

    the crowd is ripe for some inappropriate applause lines

    • Loaded_Pants

      Haven't they all been? Remember that the earlier debates had psycho crowds applauding at the idea of people dying for no reason.

  • Carrabuda

    They are treating this like the Rumble in the Jungle. The Moaner in Arizona?

    • Crank_Tango

      The Horror in the Sonora?

      • Carrabuda

        The mess dirt in the desert? I need to be more drunk, I think.

    • GeorgiaBurning

      The Disgrace-uh in Mesa

    • NellCote71

      Good one.

    • http://www.gurukalehuru.wordpress.com gurukalehuru

      The Turing Test in the Great Southwest

  • chascates

    Pledge of Allegiance, National Anthem, Lord's Prayer…

    • Crank_Tango

      Horst Wessel Lied…

      • Carrabuda

        Katy Lied.

        • Z Crudmonger

          You can see it in her eyes.

  • BaldarTFlagass

    What is this, a fucking baseball game?

    • chascates

      BATTER UP!

    • http://www.southsidejohnny.com/ Jukesgrrl

      You don't have to pray at a baseball game unless your team is down.

    • Barb

      Baseball games are all about the welfare state! "Buy me some peanuts and Cracker Jacks…" Buy your own, buddy!

  • C_R_Eature

    I hit the MUTE button almost instantly. There goes the "Desensitization" theory.

  • V572 Flambé

    ASU Sympho Chorale doing SSB! As they say on "Will & Grace," why do they have to call it the Gay Men's Chorus? Is it gayer than the Men's Chorus?

    And if you don't have an ashen schmear on your forehead, your faith is NOT TRUE!

    • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com FROTHY

      SRSLY, V?

      • V572 Flambé

        Not that there’s anything wrong with that. Just quoting W&G, whom I watch while on the treadmill.

        • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com FROTHY

          Of course. What else could it possibly be.

    • http://wonkette.com/ weej_bain

      Like this? Or perhaps that zabiba is not a palm torch song?

      • V572 Flambé

        Had to look it up. Alihu akbar!

  • Monsieur_Grumpe

    White people are singing like white people.

  • Blueb4sunrise

    No ashes on the Catholistas as far as I can tell.

    Although Ron Paul is kinda looking like a pile of ashes.

  • Limeylizzie

    This is terrible so far.

    • chascates

      Just wait till the lightening round.

  • DrOzarkZ.Hellbender

    No, there's just no way I can fap to this.

    • littlebigdaddy

      Well, I am sure you can fap to this: http://www.nytimes.com/2012/02/22/us/volunteers-o

      • DrOzarkZ.Hellbender

        That's actually rather sweet.

        Now, these spotted salamanders–they are properly married in one-male, one-female Christian unions, right?

        • littlebigdaddy

          Well it IS Mississippi, so I assume so.

  • http://www.flickr.com/photos/30500320@N06/ DerrickWildcat

    But Ghost Hunters is on.

  • BarackMyWorld

    Tomorrow's headline:
    Gingrich takes break from pandering to Hispanics to pander to AZ racists.

  • Monsieur_Grumpe

    I hate sopranos.

    • DrOzarkZ.Hellbender

      Woke up this morning, got myself a gun….

    • BaldarTFlagass

      Phil Leotardo, is that you?

  • Carrabuda

    Nice job by the choir. Next up: preaching to the choir.

  • Limeylizzie

    I hope Newt is all fired up and nasty .

    • BarackMyWorld

      He has 3 settings:
      -fired up
      -nasty
      -fired up & nasty

      • Nostrildamus

        Option 1 s/b nastier.

  • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com FROTHY

    Jezus, you bastard, what is it with you and horrifying old-man-face close-ups?

  • C_R_Eature

    They're singing but, of course,the MUTE button's on so I'm just going to assume it's Deutchland, Deutchland Uber Alles!

  • Limeylizzie

    I'm Limeylizzie and I wouldn't vote for any of these fucktards.

    • memzilla

      Starting to rethink the whole US Citizenship concept, L? I know I am.

  • Crank_Tango

    Winner prediction: A hate-filled saguaro sodomizing a messican while wearing a cowboy hat and a bolo tie.

  • Limeylizzie

    Rick flubs his first moment, awesome.

  • chascates

    and God is my co-pilot.

  • Monsieur_Grumpe

    Please, please , please let there be a slap fight.

    • http://wonkette.com/ starfanglednut

      A slap and tickle fight.

  • BaldarTFlagass

    I'm right in the middle of Jon Lee Anderson's biography of Che Guevara, which is pretty good, so I'm not sure how long I'm going to last with this shit.

  • Tilley

    Oh okay, yeah I'll turn on the TV and sit here with you guys, why not. It's been a very hellish week but at least it's almost over, right? What? It's only WEDNESDAY? And now there's a Repug "debate" on besides? Fucking fresh hell.

    • Barb

      I hope your week gets better.

      • Tilley

        Hi Barb — how's the lady parts? Are you healing up nicely? Haven't been around lately, need to catch up some. The week'll get better when the weekend comes.

        • Barb

          I had a crazy day here, Tilley. I popped my incision opened and had to go and get reglued together. I don't have the balls to look at it though. I made my husband look at it and report to me what he saw, lol.

          I booked a trip to Vegas for March 12th. Sin City will make me whole again.

          • ThundercatHo

            You popped your incision? Aren't you like 2 wks out? What were you doing, waxing the car? Good grief, woman, you need to rest and heal.

          • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com FROTHY

            Please tell her this some more because I strongly suspect that Barb is not listening to advice and is being her usual determined cheerful superwoman self and Doing Stuff that Ladies Wiv Stitches In 'Em Shd Not B Doing.

          • Barb

            I don't know how it happened, I swear.

          • ThundercatHo

            Uh, huh. Sure. Other favorite excuses include, "It wasn't me" and "Maybe the dogs did it". Well, we'll be watching you now, Missy, so you'd better behave. ;)

          • Barb

            My favorite excuses are:
            I was just fixing to call you
            One size fits all
            I won't cum in your mouth

          • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com FROTHY

            You were trying to be SUPERWOMAN, Sweetie! We need you to be healthy and in ONE piece. Because knowing you, if there's TWO pieces, each will be writing some different snarky comment here, and it's tough enough keeping up with ONE of you!!

    • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com FROTHY

      How's your neck doin' babe?

  • CogitoErgoBibo

    "I'm GOP bachelor number 1. I love threesomes, open marriages and long walks on the beach."

  • chascates

    NEWMAN!

  • http://drpaul2012.wordpress.com Donner, Party of 1

    My name is Rick Santorum and I want to spend the night talking about people's poopers.

  • chascates

    I will never bow to a king and promise free gas.

    • DrOzarkZ.Hellbender

      I may kiss and hold hands with a few Saudi Kings, but bow? NEVER!

  • SudsMcKenzie

    Hi, I'm Newt, I'm here to grift from some idiot codger, sell books, and keep my harpy in jewels.

    • Tilley

      I love you. Yes, I'm drunk, but still.

  • V572 Flambé

    Newt promised gas @ $2.50/GA. Pander much?

    • BaldarTFlagass

      Should be a snap, once we get Iran under control and get the wells pumping again.

      • V572 Flambé

        Well, the Iraq War paid for itself just like Wolfowitz said it would, so why not?

    • BarackMyWorld

      The President sets gas prices. It's in the Constitution.

      • Tilley

        Our forefathers were REALLY forward-thinkers.

    • cheetojeebus

      Simple. A can of wolf brand chilli and a lone star. Gas. Done.

      Lone star: $1.08 if purchased as a 12 pack.
      Chili $1.00
      total $2.08

  • C_R_Eature

    Gilbert Fiddler?

  • Limeylizzie

    Gilbert Fidler from Gilbert, AZ, is he kidding?

    • BaldarTFlagass

      It's a joke name, like Sillius Soddus, or Biggus Dickus.

      • Limeylizzie

        or Mittens Romney?

        • BaldarTFlagass

          It's your world, Liz, we just live in it…

    • http://www.southsidejohnny.com/ Jukesgrrl

      Gilbert and Mesa are the Mormon strongholds of Phoenix. You hear the same names over and over. It's like China in that respect.

      • 102415

        Mesa, there is no there there. My Mom cried tears of joy when she finally managed to move from Mesa.

        • http://www.southsidejohnny.com/ Jukesgrrl

          You know, they're getting a HUGE LDS temple in Mesa. They claim it's going to improve property values.

          • NYNYNYjr

            I wouldn't want to live next to an "LSD Temple". How could that improve property values?

          • http://www.southsidejohnny.com/ Jukesgrrl

            You'll have more than one Mormon buyer to take your house off your hands?They don't have to walk to Temple like Orthodox Jews, do they?

    • arihaya

      not necessarily

      James Carville is from Carville, Louisiana

  • http://gratuity.wordpress.com/ Gratuitous World

    That's the Seinfeld reference the millenials love

  • BaldarTFlagass

    How are you going to reduce the debt? I'm gonna fucking lower taxes on rich people, gosh darn it.

  • Monsieur_Grumpe

    We need the American Dream the Mittens way…. inherit it.

  • Carrabuda

    God I hate this bastidge.

  • Monsieur_Grumpe

    Defense is 17% of the budget?

    • V572 Flambé

      Hengngh, you can game the shit out of that number. VA? Pensions of DoD civilians? etc…

  • Tilley

    "Obamacare BAD. Defense spending GOOD. When I was born, now I'm gonna be the prezdent. Fuck off Frothy, you freak.

  • V572 Flambé

    Where are the heat-exchanger podiums? Sitting down is no fun.

  • Limeylizzie

    Mittens looks uneasy.

    • Barb

      Mitt is easy, easy like Sunday morning. (spent baptizing Anne Frank's corpse)

    • Nostrildamus

      He look that way when he's alive.

  • DrOzarkZ.Hellbender

    We're going to make everyone prosperous by shooting all the poors.

  • Tilley

    Fergit it Mitt, it's Arizona. They just ain't that into you.

    • SoBeach

      I dunno. Judging from the crowd reactions — booing Santorum, wild applause for every mangled sentence from Romney — it looks like Mittens has bought himself a friendly crowd.

  • CogitoErgoBibo

    "I balanced budgets as my Olympic event. "

  • Monsieur_Grumpe

    Oh fuck you Mitt, your business was bailed out by the government just like your banker buddies.

  • BaldarTFlagass

    So, government employees don't pay taxes? I beg to differ, asshole.

    • V572 Flambé

      Yer all on welfare, everybody knows that. It's a conservative article of faith.

    • finallyhappy

      Oh shit, I paid plenty of taxes as a govt employee-still pay them on my retirement – prrobably a lot more than those mofos – on less income!

  • RadioSBJ

    Free markets!!1!
    Except for Newt who will control the price of gasoline.

  • chascates

    Block grants to states: the easy way to eliminate federal programs.

  • Tilley

    Love how these dickwads say "When I'M president" and "During MY presidency." Like little girls playin' dress-up in Mommy's high heels and lipstick.

    • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com FROTHY

      See, I usually say, "When I'M elected God of this Multiverse," but everybody knows it's just a fantasy because if that coulda happened all these assholes would *already* be dead – wut? Quit bitching?

  • C_R_Eature

    Mittens will cut employment by 10%? Oh, it's only Federal employees! HUGE CHEER!

    • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com FROTHY

      Yeah, because, you know, who needs the EPA, or the OMB, or the CBO, or the Library of Congress, or the DoT or the …

      oh, fuck it.

  • fuflans

    i almost miss walnuts.

    wait! no! no! i don't at all…

  • FakaktaSouth

    I don't want to see ANYTHING that goes at the end of Rick Santorum saying "look at my…"

    • littlebigdaddy

      pathetically small and shriveled member?

    • Carrabuda

      …unsavory political history and voting record?

  • C_R_Eature

    "Rick, You Ignorant Slut!"

    • ttommyunger

      Stealing from Fakakta: "I say, let'm die!"

  • V572 Flambé

    Lookit Ricky smirking when Mittens wales on him.

    • ttommyunger

      Fucking Ricky smirks in his fucking sleep in his fucking footies.

      • V572 Flambé

        His “authenticity” is as phony as Mitt in bluejeans. He's riding the Savanarola pony and hoping it'll take him to the nomination, but underneath the sweater vest he's just an opportunistic earmarker. It's a rich Pennsylvania tradition.

        • ttommyunger

          “Opportunistic Earmarker”? You are being too kind; I was thinking more along the lines of “Grifting Little Cunt”, but that's just me.

  • http://gratuity.wordpress.com/ Gratuitous World

    new mental image: Romney Drum Circle

    • chascates

      Circle jerk.

  • Blueb4sunrise

    Santorum tries but Mittens is on game.

  • RadioSBJ

    Did they say you can't have a gun rack on a Prius yet?

    • C_R_Eature

      But you can! There are photos.

      • RadioSBJ

        I just wanted to drink.

      • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com FROTHY

        That was a Volt, dood.

  • Tilley

    Li'l Ricky's facial expression is an odd cross between smarmy-smug and scared shitless.

  • Monsieur_Grumpe

    If you cut everyone’s taxes by 20% Mitt would be paying -5%.
    Profit!

  • fuflans

    i bet one of these tools will blame bamz for the reporters' deaths in syria.

  • Carrabuda

    Oh, jeezus, The Historian is back.

  • chascates

    My God is bigger than your God and I would cut out more stuff!

  • C_R_Eature

    OOOH, it's Newt, the highest paid fake historian in America. Let's listen…

  • BaldarTFlagass

    Take me to the Moon, Newt!! Come on!!! Say it!!!

  • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com FROTHY

    Newt is simply revolting with that squeaky hamster-being-assfucked voice. Bullshitting about gas prices.

  • DrOzarkZ.Hellbender

    As usual, Richard Adams of the Guardian is being all awesopme and stuff:

    A brief flub there. "I'm here to talk about positive solutions for this country that includes everybody from the bottom up," says Rick. Yes, he said "bottom up". Snigger all you like, sniggerers.

    shouldn't that be "sneegroes"?

    • C_R_Eature

      Sknickers!

    • Banelm

      Today We Are All Sneegroes

      • Crank_Tango

        Sniggerer, please.

    • not that Dewey

      "snah"

  • Blueb4sunrise

    History!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  • Limeylizzie

    Man, Newt is such a bore.

    • ttommyunger

      And a cunt, don't forget cunt.

      • Z Crudmonger

        I suspect cunts have turned the corner in public opinion whereas Newt sprints gladly towards the abyss.

        • ttommyunger

          I'd pay to see Newt “sprint” anywhere.

  • V572 Flambé

    Repeal the Civil Service laws!

  • chascates

    NPR had a piece tonight on how a lot of American-sourced oil is being sold overseas.

  • V572 Flambé

    Go Ron! "Because he's a fake!'

  • Limeylizzie

    Hideous and uncomfortable chemistry between Dr.Paul and Frothy.

    • V572 Flambé

      The doc's gotta step up from Robert Hall and J C Penney as his haberdashers.

    • mayor_quimby

      I think Dr. Paul is gonna do an emergency tracheotomy on Rick Froth with that lovely Mont Blanc (walmart knockoff) pen

      • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com FROTHY

        At this rate, he might do it with his teeth.

  • C_R_Eature

    "BECAUSE HE"S A FAKE!"

    Too bad the ad didn't say he was an Asshole.

    • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com FROTHY

      Which he is.

  • http://whatisawatthedevolution.blogspot.com imissopus

    Oh, so gas will go down to $2.50 per gallon sometime in the next generation? Does Newt think he's being elected Emperor for life?

    • Tilley

      Yes, I think he does.

  • http://guyclinch.blogspot.com GuyClinch

    The tenor of CNN's GOP debate, so far, with it's thudding synths and urgent stagecraft, makes me fearful that there might be a swimsuit segment.

    • Tilley

      OH MY GOD NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

      • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com FROTHY

        Yeah, the thought of Newt's flabby, wrinkled buttcrack makes me ill too.

  • chascates

    Go to bed, OLD MAN!

  • V572 Flambé

    Fuck we're already on page 2 of the comments. I'm willing to pay my click-through tax, but this is ridiculous.

  • Monsieur_Grumpe

    These guys aren't even trying to use real numbers. Their assholes have had so many true facts pulled out of them they must look like the Holland tunnel.

  • Come here a minute

    Keep your government hands off my bacon!

  • Tilley

    Oh good, it's the insane dwarf's turn. Comic relief time.

    • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com FROTHY

      Never a dull moment in your house, I'm guessing.

  • FakaktaSouth

    Ron Paul sounds like someone is shaking him, even though he doesn't do that Katherine Hepburn thing in real life. It's kind of impressive. And THEY ARE ALL FAKE Ron, you are right. Punch Rick in the nose for me.

  • Data Exactly

    Or don't.

  • RadioSBJ

    Cheers for nonsense.

  • chascates

    Foreign aid is less than 4% of the federal budget!!!!!!

    • V572 Flambé

      And most of it goes to countries like Israel, that give it right back to Lockheed Martin & Co.

      • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com FROTHY

        That's how *all* foreign aid is structured. Countries that receive "foreign aid" from the US are required to set aside the lion's share of funds for purchase of American corporations' products. It's the well-known secret of the foreign aid scam. I believe David Bull wrote an excellent book on how corporations like DuPont were enabled to spread their poisonous tentacles across the entire planet through the mechanism of US foreign "aid."

        • Z Crudmonger

          Not a bad idea, if it allowed for liberation vs continued colonization. Perhaps desalinization projects or other local economic liberation. Long term game etc. But, no, we/they get Xe/Boeing/Raytheon/ Jeebus.

  • RadioSBJ

    Santorum is a conservative elitist.

  • DrOzarkZ.Hellbender

    After we've eliminated foreign aid, the OTHER 99% of the budget will be a snap!

  • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com FROTHY

    Santorum: I am the most conservative asshole in the Senate.

    Yeah, I'm the youngest person in the retirement home.

    • http://wonkette.com/ weej_bain

      Asshat, please.

      • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com FROTHY

        Dood, what haz I done to u that u shd call me names?

        Just kidding. I know you meant "conservative asshat," right? RIGHT?

  • FakaktaSouth

    Who gave Rick a HERO award? Was that one of those Newt Gingrich 5000 dollar a trophy things? Like that strip joint got?

  • http://www.storycorner.us/ JustPixelz

    Where are their ashy foreheads?

    • mayor_quimby

      A bunch of fucking heathens I tell 'ya!

    • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com FROTHY

      Oh. I think they thought the instructions said "skins."

    • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com FROTHY

      Up their trashy asses.

  • fuflans

    i am listening to a spokesman for the muslim brotherhood and he is far more adroit in his answers.

  • RadioSBJ

    Teabaggers in a riled up base…ewwww.

  • Limeylizzie

    Stolen from the Guardian, " It's Man on Dog versus Dog on Roof".

  • chascates

    This is like listening to the Special Ed kids on the school bus.

  • C_R_Eature

    Ricky: "I'm taking on tough issues, like Satan in Protestant churches, scary female pills and repression of Christians in America!"

    • Tilley

      Yes. Those are the very things I've overheard from folks standing in line at the unemployment office and outside the free medical clinics.

  • Blueb4sunrise

    Based on my survey of signs posted on utility poles, Ron Paul is only less popular in AZ. than whoever will tell them what airplanes are spraying .

    • http://whatisawatthedevolution.blogspot.com imissopus

      Ironically Ron Paul will do that too.

    • http://www.southsidejohnny.com/ Jukesgrrl

      I haven't seen a single one in Tucson. I did see some Paulbots on the U of A campus once. They were protesting an appearance by Hillary Clinton.

      • Blueb4sunrise

        I will admit that my survey involves going for beer once in a while. East Side.

    • GeorgiaBurning

      Considering that military spending puts about 5 to 10 billion dollars into Arizona every year, Paul might be the last guy they want in the White House.

    • DahBoner

      Why do Ron Paul women NOT leave trails?

      Because they have legs…

  • CogitoErgoBibo

    Oh, yeah. When I want things done, I totally look to a riled up conservative base. They're just awesome at the movin' and the shakin'.

  • http://krisbunda.com/blog/index.php Designer_Rants

    Just tuned in.. I see Santorum leaning back and bragging to his grandfather about his "hero award". Hero of what? Seriously… Hero of what?

  • http://www.flickr.com/photos/30500320@N06/ DerrickWildcat

    Ladies and Gentlemen, please hold your applause for the most mean spirited answers. Thank you.

  • http://krisbunda.com/blog/index.php Designer_Rants

    "Severe" is the new "Dickwad".

  • chascates

    NONE OF THEM CAN BE TRUSTED!

  • BaldarTFlagass

    Yeah, let's hate the beaners now, Mitt.

  • http://whatisawatthedevolution.blogspot.com imissopus

    Shorter debate: I'M CONSERVATIVE! I'M MORE CONSERVATIVE! I'M MORE CONSERVATIVE TIMES A MILLION! I'M MORE CONSERVATIVE TIMES INFINITY!

  • RadioSBJ

    Embryo Farming Subsidies?

  • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com FROTHY

    Mitt's throwing that red meat to the base, man! Let the feds come into my state and drag the illegals out!

    • FakaktaSouth

      So it's Frothy, eh? Before Mitt's even officially dead! OOOOOOH BURN! you beautifully vengeful name-changer.

      • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com FROTHY

        Tee hee! Thank you, darlz! (Hugs the FakaktaSouth)

        I'm having SO much fun dancing on their corpses.

        • Tilley

          Mitt Borg? Is that you?
          No one ever tells me anything!

          • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com FROTHY

            See, nobody reads my damn tag line. I wrote it in there. Plus I even *announced* it on the 2K-comment thread, but you were off gallivanting and missed it. Yup. It's me.

            This is going to wreck Santorum. Then I'll be Mittens again.

    • Crank_Tango

      State in what respect, charlie?

      • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com FROTHY

        Oh,like they care. They ain't got NO respect. Lame-ass motherfuckers shot a little kid in AZ not too long ago.

  • http://guyclinch.blogspot.com GuyClinch

    Since Santorum believes that non-procreative sex within marriage is a sin, and because his wife is pushing 52 (well past her reproductive years), we can assume his is a celibate marriage for some time now. I hope an audience member asks him for tips on how to keep a strong bond in marriage without sex, just to watch him squirm a bit.

    • V572 Flambé

      I want someone to ask him who killed Jebus.

      • Limeylizzie

        Juden.

        • V572 Flambé

          You know that’s what he believes.Not that he had much of the Jewish vote anyway…

          • finallyhappy

            Yes, we did it. Me personally

          • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com FROTHY

            Remember that Lenny Bruce routine?

            We did it because he didn't wanna be a doctor.

          • Limeylizzie

            Mitten Frei would be good.

    • Limeylizzie

      I do not want to consider this cunt squirming in any way , shape or form.

    • ttommyunger

      Sex? We don' need no stinkin' sex! (smirks knowingly)

  • http://ifthethunderdontgetya.blogspot.com/ ifthethunderdontgetya

    Maman:

    Sorry dude, Louis CK already has the term "Pig Newton" sewn up.

    SAYS WHO???

    I need a cite, err link, or something.
    ~

  • Fukui_sanYesOta

    What's that on Willard's flag pin? A little picture of a dog on a car?

  • Tilley

    Sanitorium is like someone's older brother's weasely frat-house buddy. Always looks like he's up to something and you have no desire whatsoever to know what it is.

    • Carrabuda

      Win.

  • Limeylizzie

    Mittens sounds very nervous.

  • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com FROTHY

    Why is Mittens stammering and stuttering like that?

  • CogitoErgoBibo

    Wow. Limiting the number of homes available for orphans. Way to go, Mitt! A total win for you and especially for the childrenz.

  • C_R_Eature

    OK, so which one's got the Alien Reptile in his head?

    • Tilley

      All of 'em, Katie?
      (it's been a while.)

      • C_R_Eature

        Ding!

  • Data Exactly

    I'd love it if John King sat at my table at breakfast or din-din! < 3

    • http://www.southsidejohnny.com/ Jukesgrrl

      How could you eat?

      • Data Exactly

        It'd be easy to if he doesn't bring up ex-wives first before we start eating. That'd be deplorable!!! :(

    • ttommyunger

      Trying to lose weight?

    • Negropolis

      Why?

      I'd love him to sit at my table for breakfast or dinner, too…but it'd be so that I could stomp on his feet.

  • DrOzarkZ.Hellbender

    How ya gonna keep 'em down on the embryo farm now that they've seen Paree?

    • Limeylizzie

      Excellent.

    • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com FROTHY

      With pipettes and aspiration techniques?

  • Tilley

    Mittens is all over the map. The fuck? Catholic church-gay adoption-severely conservative-bankrupt business? wha?

    • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com FROTHY

      Yah, he's kinda sounding off his game, isn't he?

  • BlueStateLibel

    Damn, they're should be laws against putting up a blingie like that, I'm going to have nightmares all night now.

  • Monsieur_Grumpe

    Hey Mitt. Buffet is richer than you and don't think he's a conservative.

  • chascates

    Am I the only one trying to watch this at CNN and only getting the audio?

    • http://www.southsidejohnny.com/ Jukesgrrl

      I have a pix.

      • chascates

        But you live there!

    • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com FROTHY

      I watched it, and I'm nowhere near Jukesgrrl.

  • Blueb4sunrise

    John King asked a looooooong question. Answer something else.

  • Biff

    Class warfare! Disaster!

  • mayor_quimby

    I hope somebody has seized all of Newt's adverbs for the night.
    I am stunningly tired of them, fundamentally.

  • http://www.southsidejohnny.com/ Jukesgrrl

    Newt wants to overthrow the government?

  • RadioSBJ

    Newt is for fundamental change….wait, what??

  • V572 Flambé

    Repeal the 135-year-old Civil Service laws and replace them with a "modern management system"! Tell us again, Newt! And then again!

    • http://krisbunda.com/blog/index.php Designer_Rants

      Oops, he already forgot that idea and is on to "Jupiter Farms". What an Idea Man!

  • http://ifthethunderdontgetya.blogspot.com/ ifthethunderdontgetya

    Reboot the Reptiloid, minions!
    ~

  • RadioSBJ

    Build the danged fence.

    • chascates

      Fuck the danged sheriff!

  • Fukui_sanYesOta

    Pig Newton starts off talking about the civil service sucking balls, then says "SECURE THE DANGED FENCE"

    • DrOzarkZ.Hellbender

      You don't see the connection?

    • http://www.southsidejohnny.com/ Jukesgrrl

      He's going to use volunteers. Give free ammo and they'd get a lot in AZ.

  • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com FROTHY

    Oh, the racism! Work with AZ, help AZ to CONTROL the border! Less expensive!

  • C_R_Eature

    The current government is a disaster, Newt, because you and your ideological pals have deliberately worked for oh, 30+ years to make it that way.
    You Fuckstick.

  • DrOzarkZ.Hellbender

    Newt wants Six Sigma! Dilbert cartoons for everybody!

    • http://krisbunda.com/blog/index.php Designer_Rants

      Newt is the Alpha and the Omega. Or some other sign of the apocalypse…

  • http://gratuity.wordpress.com/ Gratuitous World

    Romney is conservatively severe

  • chascates

    Let me send a package to every illegal alien and then we'll know where they live!

  • Fukui_sanYesOta

    THE FENCE WILL BALANCE THE BUDGET BECAUSE OF MANAGEMENT!

    was effectively Newton's answer.

  • http://guyclinch.blogspot.com GuyClinch

    As Sullivan notes, neither of the Catholics is wearing ash on their forehead today. They wear their religiosity on their sleeves, why not on their foreheads on Ash Wednesday? John King, ask! (Newt was prolly preoccupied looking forward to peanut-butter eggs)

    • finallyhappy

      Double coconut zitner eggs from Philly!

  • http://gratuity.wordpress.com/ Gratuitous World

    looks like Newt got his lapel pin at…wait for it…Tiffany's…

  • chascates

    Guns and butter! Lower taxes and less illegalz! Cheap gas!

  • http://krisbunda.com/blog/index.php Designer_Rants

    Hmm. Have Republicans ever considered "tax cuts" as a cure for everything? #ShitDumbFucksOnCNNsay

  • DrOzarkZ.Hellbender

    Let's get back to a balanced budget?

    Oh, like the kind Bill Clinton had before you fuckers bulldozed the tax code?

    • Tilley

      Preach it Brother Hellbender!

  • Fukui_sanYesOta

    Haha, EARMARK FIGHT. Mittens looks like he's holding in explosive diarrhea

  • RadioSBJ

    Van Gogh had a bad earmark.

  • http://www.storycorner.us/ JustPixelz

    Newt says it's ridiculous that the government can't control the border. I assume by "border" he means "vagina".

  • CogitoErgoBibo

    "Your earmark is bad." "No yours is worse!" "Your earmark totally sucked!" "Well, your earmark kills babies. Yeah. Where's your comeback now, babykiller?"

  • Carrabuda

    Santo is more of a hardass than Cheney, he implies.

  • Fukui_sanYesOta

    Oh, the fucking V22 Osprey, the marine splatterer which was billions and years over budget.

    • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com FROTHY

      How come every single commenter here *knows* this, but this almighty buncha fuckwits, the moderator, and the audience of morons appears NOT to? We couldn't *all* have dreamed it up. Are we being tested in a secret lab somewhere to see how much we *will* believe?

      • Fukui_sanYesOta

        Even fucking Cheney tried to kill the Osprey, and fuck knows he loves anything to do with death-dealing.

        Frothmeister made it sound like the poxy Osprey won the war in Afghanistan single handedly, never mind that war is a draw at best.

        • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com FROTHY

          These people are about to drive me stark raving mad. I begin to doubt my grip on reality after listening to them blather away about completely made-up shit like this. Jesus, man, they are so fucking WRONG to the nth degree of wrongitude.

          • Fukui_sanYesOta

            Copying from bloody Yahoo of all places:

            GINGRICH: "It is utterly stupid to say that the United States government can't control the border. It is a failure of will. It's a failure of enforcement."

            THE FACTS: A failure of will or enforcement is difficult to see in the statistics. Starting under the Bush administration, the ranks of the Border Patrol have risen to more than 21,400 agents, a force augmented by National Guard troops, unmanned aerial vehicles and fencing. A record 396,609 illegal immigrants were deported last year.

            In the budget year that ended in September, border agents arrested the fewest illegal border crossers — 327,577 — in nearly four decades. That's considered a sign that fewer people are trying to cross, whether because doing so is riskier or because economic opportunity in the U.S. is less than before.

            The debate presses on about whether the border is becoming secure enough, but there has been a measure of success and substantial effort.

            —-

            Reality comes into it not at all. What drives me crazy is that people don't have the fucking capacity to work out this is blatant bullshit.

  • http://gratuity.wordpress.com/ Gratuitous World

    Romney: bailout for auto industry = bad / bailout for games that judge who can shoot things while skiing = good

  • Data Exactly

    Santorum: Poor little Osprey! I'll nurse you and make you better from that mean ol' Bush…

    • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com FROTHY

      Urgh. When my friend's two daughters were still quite young and breast-feeding, the older one turned to her mother one day and said, "Mom, I'm glad Daddy can't breast-feed us." To which, Mom, who was probably tired of tandem feedings, replied "Why?" a little acidly. The kid looks over at my poor friend who's turning nine different shades of red, and says, "Ew, too hairy."

      Thanks to you, I'm now entertaining that image. Except with Santorum.

  • http://www.storycorner.us/ JustPixelz

    These candidates are what happens when Satan punishes America.

  • C_R_Eature

    The V-22 Osprey? That's what you're got, Ricky? How over budget and fucked-up was that program? Jeeezes!

    • V572 Flambé

      Plus it kills more Marines than the Taliban.

      • C_R_Eature

        fuck yeah

    • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com FROTHY

      You know? There are no words.

      • C_R_Eature

        FROTHY?!?

        • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com FROTHY

          Wut?

  • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com FROTHY

    Ooh, Santo just made a wonky speech and the puglies are booing. NO EAHMAHKS EVAH!!

  • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com FROTHY

    Romney shoots, scores, the morons go wild.

  • RadioSBJ

    The Olympics are corrupt, easy money you fucking shill.

  • Blueb4sunrise

    Osprey?
    I don't think that worked out so well.

    • mayor_quimby

      They work well when they aren't crashing, you just have to replace the eyes of everyone in the landing zone every 6 months due to the sandblasting.

    • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com FROTHY

      Why don't *they* know this?

  • chascates

    Bridge to the Olympics?

  • BaldarTFlagass

    That's all I can handle. This is like watching 4 late-night TV ad used car salesman whoring themselves for my attention.

    ♫ If you're looking for a better set of wheels
    I will stand upon my head to beat all deals!
    I will stand upon my head
    Till my ears are turning red!!
    Go see Cal! Go see Cal! Go see Cal! ♫

    See y'all tomorrow.

    • Monsieur_Grumpe

      Coward! Take it like White House page!

      • BaldarTFlagass

        Nah. Me and Che are gonna go kick Batista's ass, take over Cuba, and have a couple mojitos.

    • Nothingisamiss

      I know all the verses to that lil' ditty.

  • FakaktaSouth

    When will these people learn THERE IS NO EQUIVOCATION EVER for Rs. NONE. No reasonable degrees, no sometimes things happen, no nothing. BLACK AND WHITE, but really only white. I dig Rick gettin' booed. Eaarrrmmmaaarrkkkss…wolf calls, boos. Idiots.

  • Fukui_sanYesOta

    Yay, earmark fight!

    Whoa, frothy is feisty tonight!

    • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com FROTHY

      You rang?

  • fuflans

    RICKY!!! you got some 'splainin to do!

  • http://www.southsidejohnny.com/ Jukesgrrl

    I wish they'd stop talking about this "Bridge to Nowhere." Yes, it did take awhile until it hooked up with other highways, but now it's one of the most important roads in Pittsburgh. It takes you over the Allegheny to go to Heinz Field, PNC Park, the Andy Warhol Museum, the Science Museum, etc., etc. That's not nowhere.

  • chascates

    You told people I lured children into my gingerbread house!

  • CogitoErgoBibo

    So much sexxy talk. Earmarks. Line-item veto. Ooooo. Talk dirrty, dirrty state windfalls to me.

  • RadioSBJ

    Even an ear piercing artist is bored with this earmark crap.

  • V572 Flambé

    "Now, when I was Speaker…" zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

    • RadioSBJ

      Putting the z's in crazy.

      • V572 Flambé

        Imagine how many times Callista has to hear sentences that start that way.

  • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com FROTHY

    I'm not criticizin', I'm not criticizin'

    and the Ronulans are totally losing it because the moderator WOULDN'T LET PAUL SPEAK!!! Jesus, what a bunch of turds.

  • DrOzarkZ.Hellbender

    Bill Clinton signed a line-item veto, you ninnies…and the Supremes struck it down. But yeah, we should TOTES pass it all over again.

  • FakaktaSouth

    DO. NOT. want Newt imposing things on me. GAG.

  • chascates

    You got me.

  • Gainsbourg69

    Ricky Dicky falling from grace?

  • Fukui_sanYesOta

    Newt explains earmarks in the form of small children fighting over who got the biggest pop tart.

    Here's elderly racist Ronald Paulus, this should be fun.

  • http://www.southsidejohnny.com/ Jukesgrrl

    I was under the impression that having Federal money appropriated to their respective states is one of the most important jobs of Congressional reps. If they don't do it, they are usually fired by The People.

  • V572 Flambé

    I love listening to these assholes arguing about why earmarks aren't pork, when it is the one and only thing they are, and that they undermine rational programming and spending of Federal $.

    • http://www.southsidejohnny.com/ Jukesgrrl

      It's only pork if it's in somebody else's skillet.

  • DrOzarkZ.Hellbender

    I will vote for anyone who promises to prosecute Newt Gingrich for Crimes Against the English Language.

  • http://wonkette.com/ weej_bain

    Paul looks like he's found a better eyebrow glue.

    • V572 Flambé

      MEK, no doubt.

  • SudsMcKenzie

    OMG, they mentioned Bush!

    • Tilley

      Yes, I noticed that … the presidency of which they dare not speak its name … for so many good reasons

  • chascates

    What is the air-speed velocity of an unladen swallow?

    • ttommyunger

      African or European?

  • Data Exactly

    Real Arizonans are minding their Meth labs right now, thank you very much.

  • RadioSBJ

    I oppose government coming in, except in lowering gas prices and subsidizing the Olympics.

    • DrOzarkZ.Hellbender

      He'll lower gas prices through the Free Market, by making it be Freeer!!!!

  • V572 Flambé

    Rick says he opposed both bailouts. So what he'd say to an autoworker who kept is job is, "Fuck you, asshole. I've got mine."

  • Fukui_sanYesOta

    Ah, Rick Santorum alienates Michigan.

    SAY WHY BUSH WAS WRONG, YOU FUCKWIT

    Rick, Rick, Rick – do you have any idea what would have happened if the banks had collapsed? *Any* idea? Dipfuck.

  • CogitoErgoBibo

    "You auto workers do not deserve jobs. We shouldn't have bailed you guys out. It's a complete affront to justice, angels and Jesus himself that the bailout worked. Quit your jobs immediately."

  • finallyhappy

    Not watching tv- trying to use this borrowed iPad . I don't think I want to spend whatever these things cost. Maybe I'll just steal one next time I am on metro.

  • chascates

    But it is OK to bailout defense contractors!

  • DrOzarkZ.Hellbender

    I sure wish we'd had a proper Depression.

    Just think what it would have done for folk music, for instance.

  • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com FROTHY

    This audience is packed with Ronulans. Neither RMONEY nor Santo are getting much applause.

  • BaldarTFlagass

    I always thought that a "circle jerk" was an apocryphal term, or an urban legend, or a punk band from L.A. I never would have guessed they are a real phenomenon.

  • C_R_Eature

    Ricky: Government bailouts work, they saved jobs and companies and whole regional economies and prevented a depression but they suck because I don't like them and they don't fit in my ideological box. So there.

  • http://whatisawatthedevolution.blogspot.com imissopus

    Mitt sounds like the prison warden in Alien 3: "This is rumor control. Here are the facts!"

  • chascates

    Bain managed the bankruptcies of a shit-load of companies!

  • http://www.marinmaven.com marinmaven

    All of these guys are flailing except the crazy old guy. The GOP is winning but in a little tragi-comic Charlie Sheen-esque way.

  • DustBowlBlues

    Hello. I stopped by briefly because the old man pisses and moans when I watch this shit with him in the room. Have I missed anything good? Shit. Mittens fucking hates auto workers, doesn't he? Fuck them and their cushy pensions.

    • chascates

      Has he drank the GOP Kool-aid?

  • http://wonkette.com/ weej_bain

    The sound of one hand clapping for Frothy. Mittens pushing managed hari kari.

  • Fukui_sanYesOta

    Ah crap Willard, you got called on this bullshit by fucking Bob Lutz just the other day.

    That's right Willard. Blame the unions. It must have been the unions.

  • http://www.southsidejohnny.com/ Jukesgrrl

    Uh-oh. Rmoney just compared himself to President Bush. There's a selling point!

  • http://www.storycorner.us/ JustPixelz

    Romney just mentioned "President Bush". I think that's the first time he's been mentioned by any Repubican in 4-5 years.

    • Tilley

      For so many reasons.

      Hey, just occurred to me — wonder who Shrubya, the Elder Statesman (guffaw guffaw snort) will endorse? Talk about yer kiss o' death.

      • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com FROTHY

        I'm sure he's already been paid to keep his piehole shut.

  • Blueb4sunrise

    Rmoney snaps Frothy!

  • C_R_Eature

    Bankruptcy for the Auto Industry! Say goodnight to Michigan, Mittens!

    • http://www.southsidejohnny.com/ Jukesgrrl

      Why does he keep throwing good money after bad on this topic?

      • C_R_Eature

        I think his program is stuck in a logic loop.

    • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com FROTHY

      I fucking hope so. I'm so tempted to change BACK to Mittenz!

  • V572 Flambé

    Mitt says voting for the airline bailout after 9/11 was okay, because he (occasionally) flies on airlines. But his cars are made in Stuttgart and his money's safe in the Caymans.

  • RadioSBJ

    Hey Romney guess what. The gov't loans SAVED GM and Chrysler you FUCKING IDIOT.

  • DustBowlBlues

    Hello. I stopped by briefly because the old man pisses and moans when I watch this shit with him in the room. Have I missed anything good? Shit. Mittens fucking hates auto workers

    • http://www.southsidejohnny.com/ Jukesgrrl

      Same old, same old. Only the air is dryer.

  • http://whatisawatthedevolution.blogspot.com imissopus

    Definitely a few Mormons bused down to the U of A campus.

    • http://www.southsidejohnny.com/ Jukesgrrl

      Debate isn't at U of A, which is in Tucson. The debate is at the Mesa Arts Center. Mesa is the epicenter of conservative politics in AZ.

      • http://whatisawatthedevolution.blogspot.com imissopus

        Ah, you're right. I thought they were in Tucson.

  • RadioSBJ

    UNIONS — drink.

  • Negropolis

    These bastards are toast in the Great Lakes.

    • Gainsbourg69

      Gov. Snyder is closer to the fire than these fucks and he says the auto bail out worked. Who the fuck is advising these morons?

    • SudsMcKenzie

      The Great Lakes, the little lakes that dot the countryside, ohhh, and the tree's.

      Hopey is crushing them in MI and WI right now.

  • Fukui_sanYesOta

    Huh, apparently the UAW owns General Motors now. Who knew?

  • Tilley

    The fuck kind of pretzel logic is Sanitorium shoveling out there now? "On principle I oppose bailouts, so therefore because the one Obama supported with the auto industry and saved autoworkers jobs was successful I win and Mitt doesn't because he supported it"? Then he sits there making faces at Mittens' responses like he's Chevy Chase on SNL Weekend Update?? huh?

  • Blueb4sunrise

    Gave money to UAW?????????!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  • http://gratuity.wordpress.com/ Gratuitous World

    The evil UAW with their wage cuts and pension concessions

  • Gainsbourg69

    That King guy is fucking useless. Follow up question, motherfucker.

  • Data Exactly

    B M Dubya.

  • DustBowlBlues

    "Giving" companies to the UAW? Then why did the UAW cut their own wages and benefits so much? That doesn't make any sense, since they own the industry.

  • chascates

    It's the AMERICAN auto companies who fell on their asses.

  • Monsieur_Grumpe

    I love how they blame the mess on the auto workers.

  • http://dismalpseudoscientist.wordpress.com Deportably_Jose

    Newt Gingrich: the parts of the American Auto Industry that consists entirely of foreign automotive companies was doing fantastic! So clearly there was no problem.

  • http://whatisawatthedevolution.blogspot.com imissopus

    Who just did that creepy laugh while Newt was talking?

    • DustBowlBlues

      Mittens has nailed that creepy laugh. He does it while he's being compared to pig shit, to show what a cool, aloof patrician he truly is. Does it sound condescending to you? It sure does to me.

  • RadioSBJ

    Newt: Pay off the Unions and now chrysler is now Fiat.

  • http://www.storycorner.us/ JustPixelz

    Apparently the UAW is Satan.

  • Negropolis

    Man, I wish the UAW was as powerful as they say it is. The UAW hasn't been a muscular organization in decades. Yes, poor "world's largest automaker" GM being bullied by the UAW.

    Fucking clueless, the lot of them.

  • DustBowlBlues

    This is not endearing them to organized labor, is it? I may not be able to stick this out any time at all. No wonder the old man hates it so much.

    • ProgressiveInga

      Yeah, I bailed after 1 minute. Watching American Idol reject no-talent losers now. Wait, did I change the channel?

  • http://whatisawatthedevolution.blogspot.com imissopus

    Good, guys. Keep slamming the UAW. Obama won't even have to bother campaigning in Michigan.

    • ttommyunger

      Barry is leading in polls against Mittens by l8 points as of tofuckingnite.

  • C_R_Eature

    Hey, Mitt: How many times did your new buddy Donald Trump go bankrupt, heghng?

  • Biff

    Good bailouts: good. Bad bailouts: bad. Got it, Ron Paul.

  • chascates

    Mittster.

    • http://whatisawatthedevolution.blogspot.com imissopus

      I thought so. Christ, he sounded like the bad guy in a Scooby-Doo cartoon. "And I would have gotten away with it too, if it wasn't for you meddling union auto workers!"

  • C_R_Eature

    Paul: "Extremism in the Defense of Liberty is no Vice!"

    Wait, what?

  • chascates

    Ron Paul sounds a little like Tim Leary.

    • C_R_Eature

      Timothy Leary's Dead.

      No, he's outside.

      • BaldarTFlagass

        Legend of a Mindless?

    • ttommyunger

      Actually, he looks more than a little like him, too; especially since he's dead and all….

  • Blueb4sunrise

    Browns and Jeebus coming up!!!!

  • CogitoErgoBibo

    Oh thank heavens. A break. Time to reload teh alkeehol.

  • chascates

    Next up: some tough questions by Lucifer Himself.

  • BaldarTFlagass

    What is that horrible bumper music going into the commercial break?

    • chascates

      "It's the End of the World As We Know It and I Feel Fine"

  • DrOzarkZ.Hellbender

    OK, so I'm shouting "You fucking LIAR!!" at Mitt here, what with his COMPLETE FUCKING LIES ABOUT THE AUTO BAILOUT, and Kid Zoom says to me, "You know, Dad, what this debate is for you? It's anger porn."

    And on that note, it seems to me that maybe I maybe should not stay for the whole thing…

    Oh, shit, but the "war on religion" idiocy is up next…

    • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com FROTHY

      Nobody's a hero to their own kids. And man, can they ever call you on your shit.

  • Fukui_sanYesOta

    COAL = JERBS

    sponsored by the people who sell you coal

    • http://krisbunda.com/blog/index.php Designer_Rants

      CLEAN COAL = CLEAN JERBS

      Sponsored by unicorns.

    • mayor_quimby

      There was a fetus in there for some reason, is it going to die of mercury poisoning in it's West Virginia holler?

  • http://krisbunda.com/blog/index.php Designer_Rants

    I'm voting for the one that says "liberty" the most times.

  • C_R_Eature

    I'm not drinking for this one. I very much regret that decision now.

    The War on Religion will set me over the edge. I just know it.

    • Fukui_sanYesOta

      I'm with you because I'm working. These debates are a *lot* less fun without booze.

      • C_R_Eature

        At least we all have each other. Misery Loves Company.

      • Tilley

        I would go so far as to suggest that these debates are not safe for intelligent human consumption without booze.

  • CogitoErgoBibo

    Still waiting for the "So, are you guys in favor of vaginal probes for Jeezuz?" question.

    • Tilley

      I have a feeling that'd be the ONLY kind of vaginal probe this bunch would favor.

  • fuflans

    dingos ate my baby!

  • chascates

    Let's all go to the lobby, let's all go to the lobby, ….

  • V572 Flambé

    Adiós, mis amigos. The Italian princess went to Costco today and I must head over to her villa for dinner.

    And I believe in birth control.

  • RadioSBJ

    BOOOOOO Birth Control

  • Fukui_sanYesOta

    Wait, they're booing the fucking *question*?

    • DrOzarkZ.Hellbender

      They are indeed booing the question.

  • chascates

    And now, Round 2:

  • Data Exactly

    Pfft – Ron Paul's not a contender…

  • C_R_Eature

    Birth control! BOOOOO!!

    *Smashes head on desk*

    • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com FROTHY

      CRE? CRE? Speak to me, baby!

      (Slaps the CREature lightly)

  • http://www.southsidejohnny.com/ Jukesgrrl

    The crowd is booing birth control or the discussion of it?

    • SudsMcKenzie

      Not big fans of sexytime.

    • C_R_Eature

      Yes.

  • FakaktaSouth

    Why Boo? Fuck these guys. Yes, who believes in birth control?

  • chascates

    BOOOOOOO!

    We ALL believe in birth control!

  • Negropolis

    Seeing them saying let Detroit go bankrupt juxtaposed against their total moral bankruptcy is just an amazing sight.

  • Fukui_sanYesOta

    YAY MANGLED ABORTED FETUS CARE IS A-OK BUT OLDS CAN SUCK IT AND DIE

  • chascates

    Legalizing INFANTICIDE??????

    • Tilley

      Yes. "Infanticide" is the wingnuts' latest Orwellian descriptor for "abortion." Because to them, any abortion = murdering a baby. Yeah whoa let's hear it for the Babykillers!

  • http://whatisawatthedevolution.blogspot.com imissopus

    Obama legalized infanticide? Fuck you Newt.

    • Tilley

      I think it was sometime around when he codified Sharia law and made Rev. Wright head of HHS.

  • Limeylizzie

    Infanticide??? I'd like to commit Republicide.

    • http://wonkette.com/ weej_bain

      Mittencide would be good too.

      • Limeylizzie

        Newticide also.

    • Tilley

      Who wouldn't!

  • RadioSBJ

    Mitt: we haven't seen an attack on religion like this since they took our polygamy away.

    • Biff

      But I think they admitted the Coloreds to the priesthood willingly

      • yyyaz

        Yeah, amazingly their "prophet" got the word straight to his ear from gawd to let them join up just as the NCAA was about to kick their dumb asses out of big-time college sports for discrimination.

  • http://www.storycorner.us/ JustPixelz

    They're all for religious tolerance. Except when mosques are involved.

  • C_R_Eature

    "Leagalizing Infanticide?" It's just started!

    How many lies will they be able to shoehorn into this segment?

    Ooh, let's find out!

    • Tilley

      Seriously, and fucking hell, why isn't the "moderator" calling these shitbags on their shit??

  • http://krisbunda.com/blog/index.php Designer_Rants

    Newt's fat marshmallow head decided not to charge John King's mound tonight? Pussy.

  • Negropolis

    Look how they light up when they start talking about social issues.

  • FakaktaSouth

    LIE LIE LIE. No morning after pill you cocksucking lying pos. What does that say about your position, IF YOU HAVE TO LIE?

    • Tilley

      That they're liars?

  • chascates

    Mitt, Catholics were considered worse than anything in the early days of the Republic! And Jews too!

  • under_score

    Oh, yey, I tuned in *just* in time for the crazy. Barack Obama is the extremist. Got it.

  • chascates

    And there are 6 fucking Catholics on the Supreme Court.

  • RadioSBJ

    King asks "Who is for birth control."
    They all answer: Barack Obama kills babies and then eats them.

  • http://wonkette.com/ weej_bain

    And Mittens the right of freedom from religion.

  • C_R_Eature

    Freedom Of Religion. To reach into your life and make you behave, you deviated preverts!

  • chascates

    You are not Charles Murray!

  • FakaktaSouth

    Teen preggos have gone down asshole. ASSSHOLE LYING ASSHOLE lies. Rick you suck.

  • http://www.southsidejohnny.com/ Jukesgrrl

    So, I take it the purpose of this abortion/birth control discussion is because it's the ONLY example they could come up with to illustrate that Obama is against religious tolerance??

    • chascates

      That and the fact that he is an atheist Muslim secularist.

      • bikerlaureate

        And a soshulistic fascist. Don't forget that.

  • Fukui_sanYesOta

    Teens who are sexually active! Children being born out of wedlock! Cats and dogs living together! DRUGS!

    Get fucking Bristle Palin on the phone, rickster.

  • CogitoErgoBibo

    Right Santorum. It's super sad when kids are born out of wedlock, so OBVIOUSLY birth control is a BAD IDEA!!!!

    • Tilley

      Exactly. Perfect summation of why the Rethugs are simply WRONG about everything, everyTHING.

    • DrOzarkZ.Hellbender

      As an actual bastard, I don't really have a problem with out of wedlock births.

      • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com FROTHY

        How could ANYbody have a problem with the actual *births* themselves? Kids don't ask to be born.

  • chascates

    Teens are having SEX? When did that start?

    • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com FROTHY

      Apparently, just since Obama became President. The fact that Newt was schtupping his HS math teacher all the way through HS doesn't count.

    • Z Crudmonger

      It starts today. Line starts here. (I'm watching the recast following ya'all 6hrs back, humour me.)

  • Tilley

    Oh fucking hell a bunch of male shitbag conservatives sittin' 'round talkin' 'bout The Church and Birth Control. Just fucking die already.

  • Fukui_sanYesOta

    Wait, so, Rick talking about some bullshit he can't control will fix everything?

  • chascates

    Women's hoo-haas are the very backbone (so to speak) of our nation!

    • RadioSBJ

      They appeal to the base.

    • http://wonkette.com/ weej_bain

      chascates 2012 ??? That could be successful on the stump.

  • http://wonkette.com/ weej_bain

    Frothy, the children raising children are part of the core of your power base. Fucking douche!!

  • Negropolis

    So, you want to combat teenage pregency by outlawing abortion and birth control?

    Winning!

    • RadioSBJ

      Brilliant sir, brilliant.

    • http://www.southsidejohnny.com/ Jukesgrrl

      That's where the magic undies come in. Add purity rings and … presto … morality!

      • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com FROTHY

        Well, except for that part where your Dad is schtupping you on the side, and gives you in marriage to some buddy of his that's 100 years old, and stuff.

  • Limeylizzie

    I want Ron Paul out of my vagina.

    • RadioSBJ

      I never want Santorum in my bunghole.

    • CogitoErgoBibo

      Brain bleach! Brain bleach!

    • Nothingisamiss

      There's a cream you can buy….

  • chascates

    They don't want the government involved in anything but YOUR SEX LIFE!

  • C_R_Eature

    Horseshit, Ricky. You want to wield both Religion and Government like a club to beat everyone and everything you don't like or makes you uneasy.

  • http://whatisawatthedevolution.blogspot.com imissopus

    What the fuck is Rick Santorum talking about? God I want to beat him with a two-by-four.

    • Tilley

      Get in line.

  • anonymousryan

    On a positive note, Ron Paul's fake eyebrows look stunning tonight.

  • C_R_Eature

    Guns don't kill People, Birth Control Pills Kill peop….What?

  • chascates

    Pills don't kill people. Doctors kill people!

    • Tilley

      And, pills.

  • http://www.flickr.com/photos/30500320@N06/ DerrickWildcat

    Ok you kids, don't be fucking.

    • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com FROTHY

      Hey, it works like a charm, every time I tell 'em that.

      • http://www.flickr.com/photos/30500320@N06/ DerrickWildcat

        Are you a Teacher?

        • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com FROTHY

          Are you fucking kidding me? I have the patience of a piranha with its tail on fire. Any child who had to suffer me as a teacher would need a fucking lifetime of therapy.

          Of course, I'd be in jail myself on multiple charges of assault, battery, and mayhem, but, you know, that's to be expected.

  • Fukui_sanYesOta

    No, liberals don't get upset when abstinence is taught. It's when *only* abstinence is taught that people get REALLY FUCKING PISSED OFF BECAUSE IT'S STUPID

    • yyyaz

      Pissing off libruls = a universe of win.

  • chascates

    Weird. I know a lot of women who had kids out of wedlock and both child and mother are doing just fine, thank you.

    • Negropolis

      They also never seem to talk about healthy two-parent household where the couple just simply never got formally married.

      • http://www.southsidejohnny.com/ Jukesgrrl

        And what about the two-parent households where the partners aren't ALLOWED to get married.

        • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com FROTHY

          Oh, but those are wrong and agin' gawd and stuff.

      • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com FROTHY

        Those things don't EXIST. Only those BLAH people do that stuff, and it is disgusting and just plain wrong. They need to do like Newt, and just keep divorcing the wives as they get sick and marrying new ones.

  • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com FROTHY

    Mitt's attackin' the blahs for all those out-of-wedlock babbyz.

  • http://krisbunda.com/blog/index.php Designer_Rants
  • Tilley

    oh how touching all of a sudden, this concern for teen pregnancies, i.e., women having any say-so about their icky vaginas. Just fucking die, and that includes you, Mr. Useless Moderator Man.

    • Fukui_sanYesOta

      John King really is a pointless, wishy-washy oxygen-thief.

  • DustBowlBlues

    Mittens totally skipped answering whether he supported the rights to contraception, did he? John King let him slide on that one.

    • Monsieur_Grumpe

      He's letting them get away with a lot of bullshit. I'd love to hear him say “answer the question please”.

  • anonymousryan

    Liberals go crazy when conservatives want to teach abstinence in school? No, we go crazy when you ONLY want to teach abstinence in school. Teach abstinence all you want, but teach about birth control and STIs, too.

  • http://whatisawatthedevolution.blogspot.com imissopus

    Today we are all teenagers fucking like bunny rabbits.

  • under_score

    Oh my ass, Massachusetts would not let Catholics put children in a home with a mom and a dad. NICE spin there, asshole

  • RadioSBJ

    Yes Newt, when the military is centralized you move towards tyranny.

    • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com FROTHY

      I can't wait for him to explain the terrible tyranny of the, you know, soshulist Swedes and Danes and Norwegians and Canadians and … so forth.

  • CogitoErgoBibo

    I love it when Dr. Paul looks at Gingrich like he's a complete loon, even as the words, "Paul is right" are coming out of his mouth.

  • chascates

    The abyss?????

  • C_R_Eature

    "Coercion of the State" Newt? Sort of like getting an Involuntary Mandatory Intravaginal probe? Kind on like that?

  • http://www.storycorner.us/ JustPixelz

    Gingrich says we're facing an abyss. I felt that every day after Dubya was appointed.

  • DustBowlBlues

    "Morning After" pills should be given out freely in those "ethic" neighborhoods. Then these douches wouldn't have to worry about the negroes reproducing.

  • chascates

    Oh, now it's about women's hormones!

    • Data Exactly

      Don't you worry about Women's Hormones. That's a war we can WIN!

    • Limeylizzie

      You rang?

      • chascates

        I'm the guy with a good attitude towards menstruation!

  • Negropolis

    For anyone under any illusions that Ron Paul isn't fucking crazy, disabuse yourselves, now.

    • http://www.southsidejohnny.com/ Jukesgrrl

      And yet on the subject of legislating "morality" he still makes more sense than Frothy.

  • RadioSBJ

    They're getting all PP'd up.

    • Tilley

      ha ha, you said pee-pee. Yes, my brain is melting.

    • Negropolis

      In proper Palinese, it's "wee-weed up".

  • Gainsbourg69

    Ron Paul making frothy look like a mug is pleasing.

  • DrOzarkZ.Hellbender

    When y'all have time to read it after this clusterfuck, check out Garry Wills' article in the NYRB:

    The bishops’ opposition to contraception is not an argument for a “conscience exemption.” It is a way of imposing Catholic requirements on non-Catholics. This is religious dictatorship, not religious freedom.

    • C_R_Eature

      Spot on.

  • chascates

    So if you had free birth control Planned Parenthood wouldn't get the money to abort babies?

    • Tilley

      Some people are just never happy.

  • FakaktaSouth

    Yes, it's all basically the same. I have an abortion EVERY FUCKING DAY. You will get these pee-ulls when you pull em out of my cold dead twat, you nasty old white men no one wants to fuck anyway.

    • Tilley

      My dear girl, I think this is the best comment I have ever read anywhere.

  • EdFlintstone

    John King is to moderating what your substitute teacher was to learning.

  • under_score

    abstinence only does NOT work. But title 20 must be twice as good as title 10, so there is that

  • C_R_Eature

    If funds are Fungible, Ronzo, then defund all the fucking churches businesses. I'm tired of my tax dollars going to nefarious indoctrinations and lobbying towards Prop 8

  • chascates

    Well, Title Thirty will remove children's genitalia at birth and that will end all of this!

  • Fukui_sanYesOta

    Wait, abstinence only education works, Santorum?

    "During President Bush's tenure as governor of Texas from 1995 to 2000, for instance, with abstinence-only programs in place, the state ranked last in the nation in the decline of teen birth rates among 15- to 17-year-old females. Overall, the teen pregnancy rate in Texas was exceeded by only four other states. "

    • under_score

      Word.

      signed…someone from the STD capital of Texas, where we have (yep) abstinence-only sex ed in our schools

    • http://www.marinmaven.com marinmaven

      In 1997, only 10 million dollars were spent on abstinence only as part of the Welfare Reform Act. In 2007, the Republican-controlled congress allotted 176 million for abstinence only programs and the Bush Administration wanted 191 million for 2008.

      Studies showed that that such programs have no effect on teenage abstinence or sexual behavior. An earlier study on abstinence only programs showed that participants delayed sexual behavior on average of 18 months and that when they do started sexual relations, they do not use any protection opening themselves and their partners to pregnancy and STDs.

      It got so bad that states were coming out and refusing the abstinence only funding.
      Santorum wrong? I am shocked!

    • DrOzarkZ.Hellbender

      Well, you see, if people actually WERE abstinent, then of course it would work. So clearly, abstinence-only sex ed could, in theory, work.

      Just like "don't get cancer, please" healthcare could work if only people's cells would behave a little bit, goddammit.

    • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com FROTHY

      I really really really wish someone would correlate the child abuse reports with the teenage pregnancy reports. Because it's well-known among people who work with young women that those "children having children" are peculiarly ill-equipped for the task of *parenting* those children, since they themselves are still developing the enormous funds of patience and attention that every parent needs.

  • DrOzarkZ.Hellbender

    These abstinence programs that "actually work"–where are they, please?

    • C_R_Eature

      DATA? We the Republicans! WE don't need No ESTEENKING Data!

  • SudsMcKenzie

    Yes Rick, abstinence programs work much better than contraceptives with teens. You fuckin unbelievable dipshit.

  • Gainsbourg69

    Counter punch, Rick. Call him on his own flip flopping.

  • DrOzarkZ.Hellbender

    JESUS FUCKING CHRIST IF YOU WANT TO REDUCE ABORTIONS, THEN MAKE CONTRACEPTION READILY AVAILABLE!!!!!!

    PEOPLE LIKE TO FUCK. THIS IS GOING TO REMAIN A FACT NO MATTER WHO IS PRESIDENT.

    • SudsMcKenzie

      Case in point, I would like to fuck someone right now!

      • BaldarTFlagass

        Fuck YOU!!! AHAHAHA!!

    • yyyaz

      And no matter how many (fucking) people inhabit the planet.

    • snoopyfan2010

      Wrong. Clinton had it right. You reduce abortions by improving social programs that assist with infant care and employment.

      • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com FROTHY

        When I was growing up, teenage pregnancies were a problem. Then the government started distributing birth control at very low cost, including making abortion available on demand. They included education programs to teach young people how to avoid STDs and use contraception. In this day and age, when women make enough money to support themselves and their children, it is nobody's business whether they choose to have those children before, after, during, or without the benefit of a, marriage. It only becomes a social issue when society must pay the cost of supporting such children.

        • snoopyfan2010

          Frothy, you must be a male unit because you actually women are paid enough to be independent. Sorry but when I see a Wanda Buffet rolling in the dough, then I will buy that it isn't a social issue. But it is. And Clinton was right, also.

          • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com FROTHY

            Snoopyfan, if you are a software engineer, a lawyer, a CEO, or even a woman with a head for figures, you can make an awful lot of money. Gina Rinehart (although she inherited a good bit of family wealth) is probably the richest person in the world right now, and although Carly Fiorina is a complete tit, as is Meg Witless, both of them were making easily a hundred times more than most men. While it's still true that the average man makes more money than the average woman, we're not living in the era of MY childhood, when women were not expected to show their faces outside their homes unless chaperoned by a father, brother, or a score of duennas. My sister is a businesswoman who makes WAY more than me and always has, and I don't begrudge her that. It might have been a social issue once, but times are changing, and I do not believe that the old gender lines are as powerfully suppressive as they have, historically, been.

          • snoopyfan2010

            I get your point but Christ, my post some typos in it. Thanks for reading between the lines. iPad is a pain sometimes.

          • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com FROTHY

            But of course, my friend.

  • http://www.storycorner.us/ JustPixelz

    Abstinence! More laws about lady parts.

  • http://whatisawatthedevolution.blogspot.com imissopus

    RICK SANTORUM COMPROMISED WITH THE OTHER 534 LEGISLATORS IN CONGRESS! BURN HIM!!!!

    • yyyaz

      I DEMAND proof.

  • DustBowlBlues

    The GOP hates everything I like. Sen. Frothy is getting his ass kicked by the audience, isn't he? Did the LDS bus in the attendees?

    • http://www.southsidejohnny.com/ Jukesgrrl

      They didn't have to bus them in. The town of Mesa has a huge number of Mormons.

      • yyyaz

        Second only to Salt Lake City.

  • C_R_Eature

    It's a good thing we have all these rich white men up here onstage to hold forth on Women's reproductive biology.

    • DustBowlBlues

      They ARE aware that women still have the right to vote, aren't they? Or is that something they plan on fixing in 2012?

      • C_R_Eature

        I wouldn't put it past 'em. Biological Voting Tests for all!

        • NellCote71

          After all, we apparently can't control our hormones, and if we turned up at the voting booths, men would just want to rape us too much.

          • C_R_Eature

            It's probably time to institute the Burka Rule. Just for safety's sake.

        • http://krisbunda.com/blog/index.php Designer_Rants

          Look, it's about Fraud Prevention. Women lie. Especially in the voting booth.

          • C_R_Eature

            If only Women could be trusted to do what Men tell them to do…

            True story: I was waiting in line to vote – I think for Clinton's presidential election run – in a town in one of the redder counties of Maryland. Nice old retired white couple behind me, conservatively dressed. Husband, helpfully explaining to Wife: "All you need to do is look at the Republican side of the card and vote straight down the line." I caught her eye when he wasn't looking and her expression was like "yeah, right – no fucking way." And she grinned.

      • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com FROTHY

        I'd worry, ladies.

  • Tilley

    Wow, Frothy's not so popular with the Arizona tards. Stumbling all around, gettin' all booed. haw haw haw!

  • chascates

    A study just came out from Beck University that said birth control pills make the Saints cry!

  • Fukui_sanYesOta

    Santorum: "You did Romneycare!"

    Willard: "Santorum is a dick. Also, no I didn't because my bill was shorter."

  • chascates

    GOVERNMENT CONTROL OF YOUR LIFE: You must provide auto health insurance.

  • DrOzarkZ.Hellbender

    In their attempt to out-pander to the religious right, I would like to think that these fuckheads are guaranteeing Mr. Obama's reelection.

    • Tilley

      That's really the only reason we even consider tuning in to these laff-fest horror shows, isn't it? To reinforce to ourselves the deeply private joy we have in our understanding of the lock Barry's got on a second term?

      • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com FROTHY

        I think so, yes.

  • ProgressiveInga

    What do you call teens who practice abstinence?

    • ShaveTheWhales

      Parents?

      (Too easy)

      • Negropolis

        Ha! Well played.

      • ProgressiveInga

        Say goodnight Gracie.

        • ShaveTheWhales

          Goodnight, Gracie.

    • Negropolis

      Screwed.

    • Barrelhse

      Liars.

    • 102415

      Unhappy.

    • DrOzarkZ.Hellbender

      future idiot supporters of abstinence-only sex ed, because clearly they are INCAPABLE OF EVER LEARNING A SINGLE GODDAMN THING, LARGELY BECAUSE THEY ARE FUCKING MORONS!

    • bikerlaureate

      Imaginary.

  • Tilley

    Okay, here's how to look at this thing: Which one of these jagoffs do we most want to see win this nomination thing and then get his ass kicked real good by Obammy? I almost hope it's Pig Newton®, just because he deserves it the most richly.

    • DustBowlBlues

      If it weren't too late to change my registration, I'd register as a Republithug just to fuck with their elections and say rude things to the nut jobs who called me because they thought I was one of them. It's not like being a D makes any diff in OK except on the General Election, if you can even say that makes a difference in this Bible Belt Community.

  • http://krisbunda.com/blog/index.php Designer_Rants

    Republicans never let the truth get in the way of a bad story.

  • Negropolis

    Oh, snap! Shit just got real.

  • Tilley

    Man, this thing is worse than high school debates I used to have to sit through, in high school.

  • Data Exactly

    Want a fish, Romney? Want a beach ball on your nose now? Arf! Arf!

    • yyyaz

      Orp!11! Orp!!!1

  • http://krisbunda.com/blog/index.php Designer_Rants

    Gorsh, we must spend as much money on Planned Parenthood as on "defense". #WhiteKnuckleWingnutRide

  • CogitoErgoBibo

    OMG! Romney used government money to provide health insurance! He's a witch. Burrrrrrn him!

  • http://whatisawatthedevolution.blogspot.com imissopus

    Ooooo, good Dukakis reference by Pope Frothy.

  • chascates

    So there, Mr. Monday Morning Quarterback, Mr. Wheelchair General!

    • Barrelhse

      Where were YOU in 1776?

      • chascates

        They didn't worry about illegals in 1776! No.

        • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com FROTHY

          They just gave 'em aspirins to hold between their knees.

  • DonnyKerabotsos

    Wow…Rick Santorum is acting like a Bond villain.

  • Negropolis

    Santorum: I supported Arlen because politics.

    What a great message.

  • under_score

    Arlen Spector's ears must be ringing.

    • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com FROTHY

      He's in chemo. They're burning.

  • C_R_Eature

    Santorum:" How do you make a Hormone?"

    Newt: "Tell her all you have is American Express!"

  • Tilley

    Hell-oooo! Moderator? Anyone? Has John King or whoever just wandered off, out of boredom, or irrelevancy, or out of sheer pussyhood in losing control of this mess?

  • http://www.southsidejohnny.com/ Jukesgrrl

    These nerds certainly get themselves tied up with minutia, don't they?

  • chascates

    Now it's like the panic scene in Airplane.

  • Fukui_sanYesOta

    Bwahahaha!!!

    SHOUTY SHOUTY SHOUT I CAN'T HEAR YOU

    Nice fucking tie, Gary Lott. Dick. "Who will protect me from Messicans?" he asks.

  • chascates

    What about Arizona's NORTHERN border? Huh, what about THAT?

    • Negropolis

      Those damned Mormons sneaking across from Utah with all those damned anchor babies and anchor wives.

      Secure the danged canyon!

      • chascates

        Southern Utah has all those crazy polygamist Mormons.

        • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com FROTHY

          Time to ride in there at the head of a posse and clean out all those babyrapers. You know those fuckers have an incredible history of brutalizing their own children, right? They kick out the young boys as soon as they hit puberty, and leave them to fend for themselves because they don't want to share all the underage poon. Then they divvy up the little girls.

          They need to be killed. There's no good to come from them except as fertilizer.

  • C_R_Eature

    What will you do to secure Arizona's Gay Sheriff's Southern Border?

  • SudsMcKenzie

    OK, a brown question, now everybody (sans Paul) say the exact opposite of what you said in Florida.

  • http://www.southsidejohnny.com/ Jukesgrrl

    Schools aren't going bankrupt because of immigration, even in Arizona. They're going broke because Republicans are cutting their funding.

  • http://whatisawatthedevolution.blogspot.com imissopus

    Yes Ron Paul, deploy combat troops on the border with Messico! Shoot to kill!

  • CogitoErgoBibo

    "Arizona has come under attack for being racist assholes, demanding 'Vere are your papers?'" from brown people. Why don't people luv us?"

    • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com FROTHY

      Especially those bigoted fucking Hissss Panicks. WHY DON'T THEY LERVE US?? (breaks down sobbing)

  • DustBowlBlues

    Sen. Frothy–why has he given up on the Catholic vote? I have a smudgy cross on my forehead, and I'm a Methodist. Where is the American Pope's smudgy forehead mark?

    • Biff

      I missed Tweety tonight, was he smudged?

    • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com FROTHY

      I told you, he thought it said foreSKIN.

  • chascates

    By gum if an illegalz comes on my property I can shoot 'em!

  • Limeylizzie

    I hope Rick Perry and Callista are mutually masturbating each other.

    • http://krisbunda.com/blog/index.php Designer_Rants

      Does Planned Parenthood subsidize that?

    • CogitoErgoBibo

      Hey, just be glad they aren't procreating.

      • http://www.vinoverve.com Maman

        Funny about that. Callista was shtooping Newt for six years before they finally entered into wedded bliss. Does that mean the poor lass is barren?

        • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com FROTHY

          Must be, 'cos you know, those Catholics don't BLEEV in birth control.

    • Gainsbourg69

      Rick doesn't like girls.

    • http://www.southsidejohnny.com/ Jukesgrrl

      I think he'd like Sheriff Babeu better.

    • C_R_Eature

      What a disgusting concept. Thank you!

    • RadioSBJ

      She's like all, "Gib me sum ub dat N***erhead!"

  • mayor_quimby

    Wait, we are back to the double-fence thing? Free triple ladders for all!

  • C_R_Eature

    BOO for building around the Wetlands. PAVE THEM!!11!!1

    • mayor_quimby

      What the fuck is in them anyway? Just a bunch of mud and mosquitoes. You don't want malaria, DO YOU?
      …… fuck, how much longer is this thing, it's making my balls shrink

      • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com FROTHY

        Then I hope your balls are so goddamn big you need a wheelbarrow to carry them around, because these motherfuckers are gonna be caterwauling JUST like this until November.

  • Limeylizzie
    • Carrabuda

      Thank you for that reality check. I was starting to hyperventilate.

    • C_R_Eature

      Brain. Hurts. less. Now.

  • FakaktaSouth

    The number one comment I have heard since the ridiculous Alabama Immigration law made all the Mexicans disappear is "Our soccer team sucks now." There's not a lot of fence lust here. I guess that's hot in AZ still?

    • yyyaz

      Only with the dickheads from Phoenix, Mesa, Gilbert et al, who control the Legislature.

  • http://www.southsidejohnny.com/ Jukesgrrl

    You'd think California didn't have a border with Mexico.

    • DustBowlBlues

      They all learned from the Pete Wilson fiasco that Mexican hating doesn't win votes in that big old liberal state.

      • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com FROTHY

        HAHAHAHAHAHA!!! Yes. That's true.

    • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com FROTHY

      Well, not in RWNutbagLand.

  • CogitoErgoBibo

    Oh lord. The whole GOP stance on immigration comes down to "Good Fences Make Good Neighbors." Robert Frost will make sure you all suffer in the afterlife. Seriously.

  • Fukui_sanYesOta

    Ahahaha, moving half the DHS people in DC to the border? They're going to fucking love that, Newty!

    • mayor_quimby

      Sell my McMansion in Arlington to buy an adobe ranch in NM, I don't fucking think so. Plus, I'd have to send my kid to school with all the browns. (well, different browns from the DC kinds)

  • DustBowlBlues

    Apricot dildo farms? I take it Newell is doing the live blog tonight. And that he hates these people as much as he did lastl time he did a live blog for "our" the wonket.

  • Monsieur_Grumpe

    Yeah, wetlands are messy.

  • C_R_Eature

    FUCK YOU SHERIFF JOE!

    How was that?

  • RadioSBJ

    Newt sure loves those gubmint programs to handle problems.

  • chascates

    Go Sheriff JOE!!!

    • BarackMyWorld

      Go AWAY Sheriff JOE!!!

      -fixed

    • bikerlaureate

      To prison.

      Go directly to prison.

  • Limeylizzie

    Ewww Sheriff Joe is in the house.

    • yyyaz

      Explains some of the stench.

  • chascates

    Yeah, there's a lot of those below-minimum-wage, cash only jobs going begging.

  • CogitoErgoBibo

    Gingrich: "E-verify? Is that something Match.com does?"

    • DustBowlBlues

      More likely, he wondered if that's a new hooker site where they verify you are HIV negative.

  • http://whatisawatthedevolution.blogspot.com imissopus

    Fewer illegals in Arizona? Who will pick all their cacti come harvest time?

    • NYNYNYjr

      And who will sheer the rattlesnakes on the snakefarms to make the much needed snakeskin boots and hats?

  • Blueb4sunrise

    YAY!! Rmoney says AZ. stopped illegal immigrants!!!

    • BarackMyWorld

      Then what's Brewer complaining about???

      • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com FROTHY

        Barack pulled her finger, like she wanted him to?

  • Fukui_sanYesOta

    Someone needs to kick John King in the 'nads. He's fucking useless.

    • ProgressiveInga

      John King has 'nads?
      Huh.

  • C_R_Eature

    Are we seriously talking about construction of a Berlin Wall on our southern border? Again? Still? This makes me sad, for a whole number of reasons.

  • http://www.southsidejohnny.com/ Jukesgrrl

    Frothy says Mexican servants are A-OK!

  • anonymousryan

    Wasn't the trouble Sheriff Arpaio got into with the Federal Government NOT INVESTIGATING CHILD MOLESTATION?!

    • Fukui_sanYesOta

      Yes, that'd be the fellow. They were brown victims, dontchaknow.

  • C_R_Eature

    Hey, let's ask Georgia farmers how their anti-immigrant legislation's workin' out for them, shall we?

    • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com FROTHY

      How many billions lost and rotting in the fields?

      • C_R_Eature

        "No One Could Have Predicted…"

  • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com FROTHY

    Oh, harsh rhetoric about Latinos, but that would not be me, sez Newtie. Asshole. What about the language of the ghetto, newt?

  • RadioSBJ

    Marco Rubio is a lib.

    • Gainsbourg69

      Marco Rubio was a lib until not too long ago.

  • Blueb4sunrise

    RAAAAAYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYGUNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN

    • Fukui_sanYesOta

      EVERYBODY DOWN IT!

    • RadioSBJ

      Drink.

  • chascates

    Reagan also only mentioned Newt ONCE in his diary.

  • fuflans

    we're going to get to 1000.

    time to drink more.

  • DrOzarkZ.Hellbender

    OK, well, between yelling at the fuckers in the debate and yelling at the fucking laptop which can't seem to keep a wireless signal, I am kind of scaring Kid Zoom. (Really, the tech issue is far more irritating!)

    But the boy is right–this is just anger porn, and it is not good for me. I'll read about these shitheads tomorrow and for now, it's on to pizza and West Wing on DVD for the Zoom household. Au revoir, you filthy fuckaducks!

    • Biff

      Aw, shucky ducky!

    • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com FROTHY

      Well, fuck you TOO, Hellbender. Have a great time with the kiddo.

      See you tomorrow, you fetal-rat-abortion!

    • not that Dewey

      Little Suzie wanted to watch youtube videos of Olympic gymnasts and high-divers, so we did that, and ate some marshmallow hearts, then played Go Fish. It was vastly more gratifying that anything involving Republicans.

      • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com FROTHY

        How true! Sneaky secret hugs to Li'lSuzieNotThatDewey.

  • http://whatisawatthedevolution.blogspot.com imissopus

    Wait! What did Obama say in his demagogic speech in El Paso? Don't leave us hanging, Newt!

  • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com FROTHY

    Define yourself using one word, says Moderator. I got your one word right here, assholes.

  • FakaktaSouth

    Hispanic friends of Newt's in the import/export business are just like George Costanza – they don't really exist either.

  • chascates

    Hey, how about bringing up something about how NAFTA fucked up all the half-way decent jobs in Mexico, which lead to a dramatic rise in illegal migration from there?

  • chascates

    One word only.
    Newt: INCREDIBLE
    Paul: GOLD
    Romney: WHATEVER
    Santorum: RIGHTEOUS

  • Negropolis

    The not-so-secret word is "Obama."

  • SheriffRoscoe

    Was there a question about Marco Rubio that didn't get answered, just then?

  • Fukui_sanYesOta

    Ah, one word self-descriptions, this should be fucking ace

    Newt: LARD
    Mittens: ROBOT
    Santorum: POPE
    Ron Paul: MAD AS A FUCKING BADGER

    • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com FROTHY

      I *really* like MAD AS A FUCKING BADGER, which I shall now apply to well-meaning friends of mine liberally.

  • C_R_Eature

    Remember that hippee who wanted to be paid to embarrass Mitt onstage? I wonder if it's too late to pay him to run up and pants Gingrich?

  • Monsieur_Grumpe

    Is asshole one word or two?

  • C_R_Eature

    Oh, look, it's a Koch Brothers commercial!

  • anonymousryan

    I love the Employee Right's Act commercial. "Who voted for unions?" "Probably fucking useless old people!! HAW HAW!"

    • Fukui_sanYesOta

      That was ace, wasn't it?

      Vote to cripple your union so we can lay you the fuck off! (C) Koch Industries

  • http://www.southsidejohnny.com/ Jukesgrrl

    NEWT: Diamonds
    PAUL: Gold
    RMONEY: Cash
    FROTHY: Bankrupt (morally)

  • http://www.southsidejohnny.com/ Jukesgrrl

    Jan Brewer advertisement. ACK!! My eyes!!!!!!!

  • chascates

    I'm watching a PBS special on whales and dolphins with the sound off and THEY are making more sense than the 'Final Four' are!

  • http://krisbunda.com/blog/index.php Designer_Rants

    Wait, now I'm voting for the one that says "AbstinenceOnly" the most times. #AbstinenceOnly

  • Janinthepan

    Most horrifying Blingee ever.

  • C_R_Eature

    AAAHHH it's a horrible shriveled toothy Gila Monster! RUN!!

    Oh, it's Jan Brewer. nevermind.

  • Gainsbourg69

    Did anyone catch that anti-union commercial?

    • Carrabuda

      They've run those during several of the debates. That dialogue makes it sound as if labor unions were doing nothing to protect workers' rights in the workplace. Oh, wait.

    • C_R_Eature

      Subtle as a sledgehammer. Welcome to Koch World!

  • Fukui_sanYesOta

    Here are my one word descriptions, applies equally to all candidates: CUNT

  • http://www.southsidejohnny.com/ Jukesgrrl

    One word: Fucked.

  • Biff

    Newt is cheerful?

    • http://krisbunda.com/blog/index.php Designer_Rants

      Dour and Sour come to mind. It's like a cocktail that no one wants to drink.

      • C_R_Eature

        A Cheerful Imodium Fizz.

  • http://whatisawatthedevolution.blogspot.com imissopus

    One word? Lockbox.

    • http://www.southsidejohnny.com/ Jukesgrrl

      Now THAT was a bizarre debate.

      • Negropolis

        I don't know. It looks downright tame and cogent, now, compared with what we've been lambasted with these past months.

        • http://www.southsidejohnny.com/ Jukesgrrl

          You're right; it was bizarre at that time.

          • http://whatisawatthedevolution.blogspot.com imissopus

            Let's remember, the country had not gone completely insane yet.

  • Blueb4sunrise

    WAR-BABES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  • DustBowlBlues

    During this badly needed break, I have to share a brief conversation with someone. A friend from my grad school days called from Seattle. We were talking about the crazy Rs and I was painting the party with the crazy, crazy paint. She actually said, "That's just the fringe. That's not all conservatives. I said, "Ann, you have no idea what modern American conservatism is. That fringe you're talking about IS the GOP today. They courted the fundy Xians beginning 1980, then the Teabaggers and now the Frankenstein they created owns them."

    I am so smart. Amirite?

    • C_R_Eature

      You Are So Smart. Sad, Isn't it?

    • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com FROTHY

      Totes. Why don't THEY see it, tho? I have friends who call themselves Republicans. Admittedly, they're *very* moderate on social issues and somewhat more conservative on fiscal issues, and they make good points about feeling frustrated with the spendage on schools with no evidence of improvement, huge salaries for administrators and regular fee increases in institutions of higher learning, etc.

      Yet when I say to these people, are you fucking kidding me, why would you even want to identify with these people, they hate you for the colour of your skin or your gender or your sexual preference or your religion, they actually defend these bozos. Most of these people will not go to the polls for any of these candidates.

  • http://krisbunda.com/blog/index.php Designer_Rants

    Resolute!

    #severe

  • DonnyKerabotsos

    Dopey?

  • C_R_Eature

    Paul: Crackpot
    Frothy: Constipated
    Mittens: Mechanical
    Newt: *Chortle*

  • Data Exactly

    D'aww! It's easy to be cheerful when you screw everything that moves, little puffball!

    • http://krisbunda.com/blog/index.php Designer_Rants

      Li'l Puffball yay!

  • FakaktaSouth

    Start booing you fuckers – women are gotcha questions all the way around.

  • chascates

    if women are involved in combat their uteri could get injured!

  • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com FROTHY

    Unexpectedly, RMONEY actually gets applause for saying women are not subhuman.

  • Carrabuda

    Worried about losing women's lives in combat — but not about losing women's lives in childbirth.

    • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com FROTHY

      Well, no. If the filthy slutwhores are birthing children, it means they dropped those aspirins they were supposed to be holding between their knees.

  • ProgressiveInga

    Nancy Pelosi on Rachel Maddow right now.
    I ♥ smart girl-on-girl action.

    • Limeylizzie

      Wait till you see the pics of me and Barb.

      • ProgressiveInga

        Brains or GTFO.

  • chascates

    In my day women in combat put an aspirin between their combat boots.

    LOCK AND LOAD!!

    • http://www.southsidejohnny.com/ Jukesgrrl

      That post makes about as much sense as anything they've said tonight.

  • http://krisbunda.com/blog/index.php Designer_Rants

    Uh oh, the robot just voice-emulated the word "emotion". It's skin is going to start melting off in cottage cheese clumps again.

  • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com FROTHY

    Re-re-rek-represents a major th-threat. Add ships to the Navy! Add more military!

  • Negropolis

    Hezbollah in Mexico! Oh, my!

    Really, they need to stop doing this.

    • Gainsbourg69

      Hugo Chavez puts them up in a B&B in Caracas according to the Cubans down here.

    • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com FROTHY

      Hopey told them that FOUR YEARS AGO. He said, "You need to tone down the inflammatory rhetoric, because you're painting yourselves into a corner. You're making it impossible for yourselves to work with me, because your constituents will not accept your doing so if you keep using this type of language."* They're so insane with hate for him that they cannot hear anything he has to say, even when it would benefit them to do so.

      *Paraphrased

  • http://whatisawatthedevolution.blogspot.com imissopus

    Obama is shrinking everything! Innerspace secret black-ops project FTW!

  • C_R_Eature

    But what about the Infections, Newt?

  • CogitoErgoBibo

    Women in the military? We're debating that? Oh. They're actually supposed to stay home and birth them babiez, right? I don't speak fluent GOP Crazzzzzy.

    • NellCote71

      I wonder if their is a Pimsleur tape for that? Republicanese?

  • http://whatisawatthedevolution.blogspot.com imissopus

    We have Hezbollah in Mexico so we should grow the size of our Navy? Um…

    • DustBowlBlues

      Cruising the Gulf of America.

  • under_score

    It is time to add "Hezbollah in Latin America" as a drink item

  • chascates

    Hezbollah is NOT in Mexico or Honduras.

    And Syria is not 'in flux', it's in the Middle East you tit!

  • http://krisbunda.com/blog/index.php Designer_Rants

    Just say it, Marshmallow. Just say fucking "Saul Alinsky," you hack.

  • Blueb4sunrise

    NUKES IN EVERY CITY!

  • Negropolis

    Panic! Everyone and everything is trying to kill us all the time!

  • chascates

    Right, I'm working on a nuclear bomb in the barn right now.

  • http://www.vinoverve.com Maman

    If Mittens respect others' religious beliefs why has he posthumously baptized people? Has he celestially married dead spinsters too?

  • DustBowlBlues

    Newt–attacking the moderator, as usual. Didn't John King learn his lesson last time? Oops, now we have to get women out of the police, the firefighters and the Nat'l Guard.

  • http://ifthethunderdontgetya.blogspot.com/ ifthethunderdontgetya

    MexicanIranianTerror

    GoldGunsTaxCuts

    The Fnords, Have You Seen Them?
    ~

  • DonnyKerabotsos

    Newt Strangelove

    • RadioSBJ

      Newtcleur Expert.

  • RadioSBJ

    Newt, blah, blah, blah, Obama is dangerous,blah, blah, blah Obama is a tyrant, blah, blah, blah, the social engineers of Obama…..

    • http://krisbunda.com/blog/index.php Designer_Rants

      social engineer, saul alinsky, Newtz dog whistles are soooo dorky.

  • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com FROTHY

    The Ronulans cheer their leader to stop all aggressive wars! Christian war only!

    • http://whatisawatthedevolution.blogspot.com imissopus

      Offensive war: BOOOOO!

      War on Drugs: BOOOOOO!

      War on Illegal Immigrants: Boo…wait, kill illegal Messicans? Yay!

      • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com FROTHY

        Pretty much. Geez, they're just the most horrible little people.

  • chascates

    The only intelligent statement tonight.

  • http://whatisawatthedevolution.blogspot.com imissopus

    All groups have rights but white people!

    Wait, the draft coming back? Go back to sleep, Grandpa.

  • C_R_Eature

    Is it over yet? Thin, sober and moderately bright is no way to go through this debate…

  • chascates

    There never was a good war or a bad peace.

  • chascates

    Newt, tell us more about these infections the womenz get.

  • Crank_Tango

    9 pages of comments? fookin 'ell!

    • C_R_Eature

      No way I'm staying to 2000.

      • RadioSBJ

        c'mon C_R, we're halfway there.

        • C_R_Eature

          nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooonoooooooooooonoooooooooooooooooooooooo

          • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com FROTHY

            Bock.

        • Crank_Tango

          whoooo ooooooooa livin on a prayer….

    • ttommyunger

      12 by the time I got to it (11pm). Reading every comment, as usual. Much better than actually watching the real thing.

      • Crank_Tango

        Sticking your dick in the toaster would be much better than watching the real thing, I imagine…Sent from my iPhone

        • ttommyunger

          No Fucking Doubt About It!

  • EdFlintstone

    I cant wait for this republican utopia of a 20% tax cut, increased military spending and a balanced budget. It's why I'm eating more and exercising less to lose weight.

    • NellCote71

      And practicing abstinence one hopes.

  • Blueb4sunrise

    Social Engineering: No Blahs in the Military.

  • Fukui_sanYesOta

    Nice fucking 'tash, Kent Taylor! Dick.

    Aw ffs, Iran time.

  • chascates

    Civilian control of the military?? When did THAT happen?

  • http://www.southsidejohnny.com/ Jukesgrrl

    Uh-oh. Iran. Bombs away.

  • Blueb4sunrise

    IRAN BEEEEEEOTCHES!!!!!!!!!!!

  • DustBowlBlues

    Iran! Bomb, bomb, bomb.

  • RadioSBJ

    What's the difference between Iran having Nukes and Pakistan having Nukes?

    • http://www.southsidejohnny.com/ Jukesgrrl

      You mean there are people who don't like us in Pakistan?!?!?!

    • ShaveTheWhales

      Pakistan doesn't have much oil?

      • RadioSBJ

        Ding, ding ding.

  • chascates

    He's a general and you're a 'historian'. I wouldn't question him.

  • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com FROTHY

    Bush doctrine! Moral obligation! Pre-emptive strike! These fucking assholes go wild.

  • chascates

    Like Arlo in Alice's Restaurant Newt would be jumping up and down yelling: KILL! KILL! KILL!

    • Come here a minute

      Blood and gore and guts and veins in his teeth. I mean KILL.

  • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com FROTHY

    Mitt just said that Iran borders the US.

    • ttommyunger

      Sarah can prolly see it from her porch.

      • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com FROTHY

        Also too.

        I have given up any expectation of correlation to reality in their statements. I have give up hope.

        • ttommyunger

          Haven't you heard? They create their own reality. Actual comment from a former Dubya Operative.

  • chascates

    How can we kill Arabs for Israel yet have $2 a gallon gas? Like the Founders wanted?

  • Fukui_sanYesOta

    Wait, what? Willard doesn't even know what a dirty bomb fucking is. Dipshit.

  • CogitoErgoBibo

    "I'm an average citizen in AZ, so naturally what keeps me up at night is the threat of a nuclear Iran. Not whether the 90 year old driver next to me is going to stroke out and kill my entire family. Because it's Arizona. McCain. Need I say more?"

    • chascates

      He's closer to both Sheriff Joe and Sheriff Gay than Iran.

  • Negropolis

    The president did impose crippling sanctions against Iran that are working.

    I hate these guys with the heat of a thousand Chris Christie farts.

    • NellCote71

      They tread in dangerous territory when they go after Obama's foreign policy records. Helloooo.

    • snoopyfan2010

      I like the new picture. Is Santorum the new blah?

      • Negropolis

        Nah, not yet.

  • RadioSBJ

    Again with the Free Markets, Free Markets, Free Markets, but they all will lower the price of gas.

  • FakaktaSouth

    Should our leadership, like Eric Cantor and my own Spencer Bachus, et al, should they stop speculating on oil futures with the Koch Brothers – since demand is actually down right now, and therefore prices should be too? Or just bomb Iran?

  • Carrabuda

    Obama = nukes.

  • chascates

    Extremism in the defense of the oil companies (and defense contractors) is no vice!

    • NellCote71

      We are all Haliburtons today.

  • C_R_Eature

    It's just so cute to hear Mittens holding forth on foreign policy, just like a big boy who knows what he's talking about

    • http://krisbunda.com/blog/index.php Designer_Rants

      It was almost unscripted when he said "…Dirty bomb, OR ANY OTHER KINDA BOMB!"

      #Severe

  • DustBowlBlues

    What are they doing now? I took a brief timeout to read about Marie Colvin. Now I'm a little sick. Last night she told CNN that Syria's was the worst war she ever covered. What a great journalist. She makes my love, C. Amanpour, look lame. Of course, the latter hasn't been blown up, has she? So there's that.

  • RadioSBJ

    Obama has been giving centrifuges and spent fuel rods to Iran. He also is a muslim who has buttsechs with Akmidenjhad.

  • Gainsbourg69

    I can't wait until Hopey schools the fuck out of one of these idiots on foreign policy.

    • NellCote71

      Exactly.

  • chascates

    The President has never helped out the Muslim Brotherhood you idiot.

    • http://www.southsidejohnny.com/ Jukesgrrl

      He can't; he's too busy blocking everyone's religious freedom.

      • http://krisbunda.com/blog/index.php Designer_Rants

        I was picking up the wife's pillz the other day and Obama came outta nowhere and just slapped 'em right outta my hand! Then he told me "Satan Rulez, Christians Droolz!"

        It was, frankly, terrifying.

        • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com FROTHY

          Well, he's *right* about that last part. I mean, have you met Biely?

    • http://whatisawatthedevolution.blogspot.com imissopus

      But he's never NOT helped them out. Obama hates America!

  • http://krisbunda.com/blog/index.php Designer_Rants

    Rick only likes his own brand of theocracy.

    • Negropolis

      That's what it boils down to. The only reason they hate "radical Islam" is because it's competition against their own radical theology.

      • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com FROTHY

        Dood, Rick thinks the feckin' *Protestants* are misguided and gone astray from Jeebus. Wait till the Protestants find out.

        • Negropolis

          Unfortunately, they already have, and they've calculated that a Catholic Santorum is better than a Mormon or a Blah, even if the Santorum hates them.

          • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com FROTHY

            I thought the Catholic Church was the Great Whore of Babylon? Have things changed so much?

          • Negropolis

            It may be the great whore of Babylon, but sure as the day comes Obama is the anti-Christ.

            Plus, Protestants love a good whore no and again. Also. Too.

          • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com FROTHY

            That's right, I keep forgetting, Blah outweighs GreatWhoreOfBabylon on the scale. Feckin' eejits.

  • user-of-owls

    This fucking death march to Iran has drained all the joy right out of me. I just can't take this vulgarity any more. Count me out.

    • Carrabuda

      But wait! Ron Paul is smacking down the Iran hawks. Awesome.

      • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com FROTHY

        Yeah, and being booed to death by the loonz in the audience.

    • Limeylizzie

      Hi Owls, kisses his beak tenderly, ruffles feathers , soothes brow.

  • http://www.vinoverve.com Maman

    O Hellz, I hate it when Ron Paul makes sense.

    • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com FROTHY

      Then you must hate the fuck out of the Republican debates, because that old loon is the only one of them who makes *any* sense *at all.*

  • DonnyKerabotsos

    Shit….are we going to war right now?

  • RadioSBJ

    Hey Rick, one man's Satan is another man's Lucifer, well if you're a theocratic simpleton.

  • DustBowlBlues

    Why does the world hate us? Maybe because these dipshits and their ilk attack Obama because he bailed on one of our Tyrant buddies in Egypt. Sure, it sucked for the actual Egyptians, but it was convenient for us when Mubarak was in charge.

  • CogitoErgoBibo

    Okay. Small, teeny bit of praise. At least these guys say "nuclear" instead of "nucular." Dubya used to drive me nuts with that.

    • DustBowlBlues

      Sad, that it's the best thing you can say about them. Kudos for seeing a drop of water left in the glass instead of saying there was nothing in the glass.

    • ttommyunger

      Media mimicked it out of fear for their phony baloney jobs, too.

  • anonymousryan

    Ron Paul booed for raining on the Iran War parade.

  • C_R_Eature

    Paul the Foreign Policy Heretic Gets Booed! THOUGHTCRIME DOUBLEPLUS BAD!

    Declaration of War – WILD CHEERS!!

    Who the fuck are these horrible people?

    • yyyaz

      Just a perfectly representative sampling of the 59.9 million fuckwits who voted for Walnuts/Tundra Twat 2008.

  • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com FROTHY

    Once again fucking Ron Paul makes sense.

  • http://whatisawatthedevolution.blogspot.com imissopus

    Ron Paul: making fucking sense about war with Iran! Kill me now.

  • chascates

    BECAUSE WE LIKE GOING TO WAR CARELESSLY YOU AMERICA HATER!

  • SheriffRoscoe

    Ron Paul just cold stinking up the joint.

  • C_R_Eature

    Syria is a Puppet State if Iran? I hope Assad isn't watching this, he'll get pissed.

  • chascates

    Assad's Syria is a puppet state of Iran? You Loon!

  • http://krisbunda.com/blog/index.php Designer_Rants

    Rick gets all sourpuss when RP states a fact: "We don't even know if they have a nuclear weapon." Then he grabs his weird notepad full of bikini-zones cutout from doctor's office waiting room magazines and jots down something quick and stupid. I enjoyed that.

    • Data Exactly

      He probably wanted to slurp down a microphone out of frustration, but can't at that moment, so he just played with his pen some. There will be make up sex however!

  • Negropolis

    Three words: Osama Bin Laden.

    Ask him how "weak" Obama is on "radical Islam," you shameless bastards.

  • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com FROTHY

    They're all sucking each other's cocks between muttering "Syria" and "Iran" and "WAR."

  • chascates

    Sure, just have the CIA have people killed! Always worked fine before.

  • C_R_Eature

    Newt: Drill Everywhere! Replace the EPA (with what?), send other, foreign peoples kids into Syria to get killed (covertly!) Our Allies are in Terrible Danger!

    Invade the Moon!

    • http://krisbunda.com/blog/index.php Designer_Rants

      We can thank that billionaire casino asshole and Mrs. asshole for pumping 20 million into his campaign and for him still being around. They're just doing it for the lulz.

      • C_R_Eature

        Thanks lots, Supreme Court!

    • NellCote71

      Send the Messicans to the moon, because they are so grateful.

  • EdFlintstone

    Paul-"going to war is risky and reckless.'' Yeah Ron, but republican voters at heart are a bunch of pretend tough guys, wearing american flag golf shirts, who wet their bed at the first mention of the new boogey man.

  • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com FROTHY

    ZOMG, I think Mittens has gone off script. He's totally dissing Assad.

  • Negropolis

    Pelosi on Rachel concerning voter restrictions: Don't agonize, organize.

    I'm going to remember that one. A regular Johnny Cochran, this one.

  • DustBowlBlues

    Mittens sounds like he's proud he learned some Middle East–wait–Is he saying we should be on the side of Assad? Are you shitting me?

  • CogitoErgoBibo

    Paul and the gold standard! DRINK!!!!

  • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com FROTHY

    Once again, Ron Paul is the only one making any fucking sense. Wake up, you're trying to start another war.

  • chascates

    Stop telling the truth, Paul!

  • SudsMcKenzie

    Newt, you lying sack of puss, the US has 21 billion barrels of oil in reserve. Saudi Arabia has 261. I want to stuff you in the trunk of a Volt.

    • DustBowlBlues

      We'll help.

    • http://krisbunda.com/blog/index.php Designer_Rants

      All liberals know… that Newt's too fat to stuff into a Volt.

    • RadioSBJ

      That's the one I want to explode.

  • Come here a minute

    Mitt: money
    Newt: diamonds
    Ron: gold
    Rick: santorum

  • chascates

    Isn't it known as 'Snotsdale'?

  • http://whatisawatthedevolution.blogspot.com imissopus

    Hey, who let a WOMAN ask a question?

  • CogitoErgoBibo

    No Child Left Behind: Mandatory Pregnancy for all Peoplez Doing the Nasty.

  • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com FROTHY

    A testing regime, Santo? He senses that the crowd isn't happy about his support for NCLB, and quickly changes his position. Fuckwad.

  • Negropolis

    Santorum is fucking stupid. He's admitted multiple times, tonight, that he voted for purely political reasons. You don't say that shit.

    • chascates

      You think Ronald Reagan would be a team player? Win one for the Gipper?

      Oh, wait.

  • chascates

    And you're billing your state for your 'homeschooling' as well, asshole.

  • anonymousryan

    Rick Santorum regrets support for No Child Left Behind, promises to leave all children behind if he's elected president.

    • NellCote71

      I thought they were all being aborted anyway.

      • anonymousryan

        Well when he bans abortion it'll be cost prohibitive to educate all of them.

      • DustBowlBlues

        Only in the "urban" community.

        • anonymousryan

          They can be janitors at the white schools. Santorum/Gringrich team up!

  • C_R_Eature

    HOME SKOOLIN IZ GUD.

  • RadioSBJ

    Santorum's kidz get plenty of Homo skoolin', especialy the one with a genetic anomaly.

  • DonnyKerabotsos

    Can anyone tell what Mitt Romney is talking about?

  • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com FROTHY

    Damn, Mittens hates the fucking unions. The crowd slobbers all over itself.

    • RadioSBJ

      The result of 50 years + of unrelenting, insidious warfare on the unions. You would think they were baby killers or something. ; )

  • chascates

    Ah, the evil unions again! In league with secularists and Hezbollah.

  • C_R_Eature

    Newt: Shrink the Dep't of Ed down so we can drown it in a bathtub!

    • anonymousryan

      Just like the children we won't be allowed to abort!!

  • Gainsbourg69

    Vouchers are a fucking scam.

    • http://www.southsidejohnny.com/ Jukesgrrl

      And there are some pretty spectacular examples of that in Arizona.

      • Gainsbourg69

        I would imagine. Florida is full of charter schools and the corruption is not too easy to hide.

  • Blueb4sunrise

    Unions worse than Iran.

  • rocktonsam

    I watched 2 minutes of the "debate," with John King,

    I finally understand the term," tongue punch fart box.

    good night

  • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com FROTHY

    NO EDUCATION! EVAH! Let the parents teach the little fuckers. Kill the teachers and unions.

    • http://www.southsidejohnny.com/ Jukesgrrl

      One of the parents is supposed to stay home and school the children. Meanwhile if one of the parents isn't working, where will they get the money to feed the babbies?

      • ShaveTheWhales

        Who cares? They're already born, aren't they?

        • RavenRant

          Feed 'em to each other. It worked in "Lord of the Flies".

        • http://www.southsidejohnny.com/ Jukesgrrl

          Ya gotta point!

      • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com FROTHY

        Not from ENTITLEMENTS and HANDOUTS the filthy Poorz! Can't those slackers work a few dozen MOAR jobs? And put those kids to janitorializing those schools and displaying those true American values that have our jobs in our hearts also too.

  • SudsMcKenzie

    Your right Newt, teachers dont like kids. If this goes on much longer my TV is in danger.

  • C_R_Eature

    Jesus Christ, Newt! You get paid for that babble? Who's stupid enough to do that?

  • DonnyKerabotsos

    That's some college professor there.

  • chascates

    Teachers don't need to know how students learn! Just beat the Ten Commandments into them and tell 'em to get to work.

    • Gainsbourg69

      And teach them abstinence so they don't have any unwanted pregnancies and mess up their futures.

  • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com FROTHY

    Ron Paul thinks Newt's not insane enough.

  • http://www.vinoverve.com Maman

    Yeah, there is no need for educational standards. Let's teach the kiddies that the earth is flat

    • http://www.southsidejohnny.com/ Jukesgrrl

      In Arizona, teaching the children that the Grand Canyon is 4,500 years old is common.

    • DustBowlBlues

      And in OK, a bill is being introduced to allow them to do just that.

    • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com FROTHY

      We're living in the 21st century when you pretty much can't *get* a job without tertiary education, preferably in science/math. And these morons would like us back in caves, picking fleas off each other.

  • chascates

    God, Ron Paul cackles like community TV late-night nutcase.

    Oh. Got it.

  • chascates

    And now . . . the lightening round.

  • CogitoErgoBibo

    Oh, pleaze Jeezus, be right John King. Make this the final GOP debate. My liver demands it.

  • Biff

    GIANT FROTHY SIGN FTW!

    • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com FROTHY

      AHEM!

      • Biff

        Your sign? Nice!

        • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com FROTHY

          *preen*

  • DustBowlBlues

    Republics have been anti-education in OK for a good 50 years, and their opposition has rewarded them handsomely. The dumber they are, the easier for the rich capitalists to rob them.

    • chascates

      I'm guessing the age of consent and the age to leave school are about the same there?

      • http://www.southsidejohnny.com/ Jukesgrrl

        Kids in AZ can drop out after 10th grade no matter how old they are. Age to marry is 16 with parental permission, 18 without. AZ has highest dropout rate in the nation.

        • chascates

          On the plus side there must be plenty of young fast food workers.

          • http://www.southsidejohnny.com/ Jukesgrrl

            That's the only kind of food 99% of Arizonans can afford, so I guess it works.

  • chascates

    God, Jim Newell, are you flying solo tonight?

    I'm guessing your next post will be about 3PM (EST) tomorrow?

    • DustBowlBlues

      He's being punished for once leaving us. Still, it doesn't seem fair that wonkette jr. (if that's even his/her real name) could've helped out.

      • http://krisbunda.com/blog/index.php Designer_Rants

        Jim unceremoniously fired the intern!

        Is it really already the last debate? Have there even been any before tonight? Wait, the intern telling us something… !!!… okay, so there have been about 20 debates! Thanks, intern. (You’re fired.)

  • C_R_Eature

    Hey, Guys…Osama Bin Laden's dead, the Domestic automobile industry's alive and Barry can sing.

    Go Fuck yourselves.

    • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com FROTHY

      I just want you to know I Tweeted that, too. With attribution.

      • C_R_Eature

        well, cool!

  • http://whatisawatthedevolution.blogspot.com imissopus

    Great tweet from Ezra Klein: "Gingrich on Obama: 'As long as your America's enemy your safe.' bin-Laden says what? Oh, he says nothing. Due to being dead."

  • chascates

    If you were a tree, what kind of tree would you be?

    • RadioSBJ

      Of the right height.

      • NellCote71

        Overlooking the lakes, all of them, the little ones as well as the big ones.

        • Negropolis

          You know, the ones in The Parts, Michigan, which I think is adjacent to The Pointes, but I'm not so sure.

    • http://www.southsidejohnny.com/ Jukesgrrl

      Rmoney: Just-the-right-height tree
      Newt: Historic cherry tree (Happy B'day, George)
      Paul: Tree of Liberty
      Santorum: Tree of Life

    • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com FROTHY

      His tree, of course. I hope they're ALL history after November, and I never have to hear their voices or names ever again.

    • C_R_Eature

      Santorum: Oozing Sugar Maple

      Paul: Pigmy Pine

      Newt: Baobab

      Mitt: "Hey, it looks like a tree…but…it's a Cell Tower!

  • Data Exactly

    You couldn't win 1 election in 9 Primary/Caucus contests so STFU.

  • Blueb4sunrise

    Mis -Contraception again?

    Oh, never mind.

  • http://whatisawatthedevolution.blogspot.com imissopus

    Paul did the best in poll against Obama, but still lost by something like 12 points.

  • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com FROTHY

    Raygun Raygun Raygun. God what an asshole Newt is.

  • Data Exactly

    "Yes, I can be a dumbass all I want!"

  • chascates

    Answer the question!!!

  • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com FROTHY

    Wow, Mitt just said, you can ask whatever question you want but I'm gonna give you the answers I want.

    This guy is insane.

    • ShaveTheWhales

      Ripped straight from the Alaskunt's playbook.

    • RavenRant

      That was the Snowbilly Grifter's debate line. Kind of pathetic that Romney's plagiarizing from that source.

      • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com FROTHY

        I'm glabberflasted.

  • Fukui_sanYesOta

    Wow, Mittens just saying "fuck you, I'm saying whatever the fuck I want". Straight-up dick.

    He's really winning over the electorate over with that shit.

    • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com FROTHY

      Yes, I do believe it is not escaping the notice of the hoi polloi that Mittens is absolutely an entitlement-addled ari$$tocrat.

      RESPECT MAH AUTHORITEH!

  • chascates

    SHUT UP AND ANSWER THE QUESTION!!!!!

  • http://www.vinoverve.com Maman

    Oh Mittens. My husband has an MBA from @UChicago. That didn't stop him from being unemployeed three time in the last five years due to the economy. So much for hard work and edumacation

    • Fukui_sanYesOta

      If anything, that's the Big Lie about the American Dream.

      There is no prize for hard work.

      • DustBowlBlues

        And there is no longer "the American Dream."

    • C_R_Eature

      No one's "safe" these days. Oh, except for utter failures in the Wingnut-o-sphere, there's always jobs for those people.
      And it really pisses me off.

  • C_R_Eature

    Paul: "I am Not a Crank!"

    Newt: " I really do have a Penis in here, somewhere."

    Mittens: "I am a carbon based life form just like yourself."

    Frothy: "Google Lies"

    • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com FROTHY

      I know I'm tired, but — I just read that as

      Mittens: "I am a cardboard based life form just like yourself."

      He is, too.

      • C_R_Eature

        This just made me laugh ms ass off.

  • SudsMcKenzie

    Off to the Top chef live blog, I hope Padmas outfit's cheers me up.

    • DoktorThompson

      As the late, great Jim Newell once said, "FAP FAP FAP."

  • SheriffRoscoe

    Ron Paul is endearing when he's lucid.

    • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com FROTHY

      Yeah, for a whole fifty seconds every hour or so. Then he goes back to squeaking and waving his arms.

  • Fukui_sanYesOta

    Come on Santorum, what's the misconception? Oh, you're dodging the fucking question too and that wind-up clown John King is just letting you get away with it.

  • chascates

    There IS a Satan and He's bad and I'm the only one that will protect America from Him.

    • RavenRant

      THe only way to fight Satan is to build a wall obstructing access to every woman's vagina ('sin tunnel') in America. Build the dang wall!

      Then Repub Satan Fighters can get back to exploring Biblical texts with cherubic underage boys.

      • chascates

        Pope Alexander VI had an affinity for throwing large parties, bordering on orgies, that usually culminated with little naked boys jumping out of large cakes.
        Ten Worst Popes of All Times: http://www.oddee.com/item_96537.aspx

        • RavenRant

          That should be a shocking tale. Sadly, no.

  • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com FROTHY

    Instead of telling us about misconceptions (haha) Rick wants to tell us about bad people who spend a lot of money and still don't win, unlike HIM. AAAAUGH, I so hate these people.

  • Negropolis

    Yeah, the media is so behind Obama. You know, that same media that's always asking him "Why are you such a pussy, Mr. Obama?"

  • RadioSBJ

    The teacher unions are fascists. They only care about protecting bad teachers. Newt hits the head on the nail again.

    • Crank_Tango

      Well of course, I mean unions have always been fascists, duh. That's some history professor for you.

  • FakaktaSouth

    Welp, thank Xenu that is over. 20 debates, and I am now stupider than ever and my p-ness has shrunk 6 … 6 (what? inches?) over these bullshit wastes of time – but the emotional damage from having to do this alone would have been much more than I or my liver could have taken. You all suck, Republican Slate of Candidates 2012, and I need you all to go far, far away now. After all 20, I still (and with even more conviction) say 70/30 Barack Obama.

    • http://krisbunda.com/blog/index.php Designer_Rants

      I still don't get what p-ness is, and Intense Debate isn't 'splaining so well. But I like your prediction. Thumbs up, hope your p-ness engorges tonight and always.

      • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com FROTHY

        I haven't really figured it out myself, but it doesn't seem to matter much. That little number highlighted in green next to your name is Pness. It mysteriously embiggens and enshrinks based on absolutely nothing that I can determine. But it SEEMS to have something to do with a combination of (1) How many people upfist/upthumb your comments; (2) How many people *reply* to your comments; and (3) How many people follow you on IntenseDebate.

        • http://krisbunda.com/blog/index.php Designer_Rants

          That was a much better description than I read on Intense Debate. Thanks!

        • http://loljazzcatz.blogspot.com/ Chet Kincaid

          My pee score has never gone down. Getting it to go up takes eons, though, I guess because I am not attacking the system with brute force.

          • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com FROTHY

            Mine has. But not of late. It started off high and then dropped to something like 60 where it stayed for fucking forever and then suddenly shot up to 90 one day. Then it went up and down, and I asked everybody what was going on, but the answers were many and varied. About three months ago, it kind of went high and stayed there.

            I wish I could figure out what makes it go up or down. So to speak.

    • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com FROTHY

      I think we should just have a Pness Fisting Party for those who lost P and brain cells from listening to these assholes TWENTY FUCKING TIMES. We all deserve a medal.

    • ttommyunger

      Your estimate is prolly right. We will always have the batshit-crazy 30% with us. They wanted Bubba impeached, they mobilized the christian right to get Dubya in power and they want to lynch Barry in the worst fucking way. They can't be reasoned with, and it is against the law to kill them, so we just have to avoid them (like dog shit on the sidewalk).

  • C_R_Eature

    IT'S OVER! I MADE IT!

    • Fukui_sanYesOta

      WOOT!

      Goddamn I really really want a drink now and have to wait for at least a couple of hours.

      • C_R_Eature

        Ditto. You know, I made it through 20 debates and I think it's adversely affected my intellect. I hope it's temporary.

        • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com FROTHY

          Ahm ear 2 tell u atz not tru iz premfnent ad u w nvr b nrml agn

          • C_R_Eature

            Ehhhh. Never really normal to begin with. I'll get used to it.

  • chascates

    Johnny, take us out with a song! Arizona audiences are the best audiences in the world!!!

  • io9k9s

    Mitt: You get to ask the questions, John, now I get to cut off your head and piss down your throat, thank you very much

  • CogitoErgoBibo

    Oooooo. The Silver Fox up next to clean up the mess left by John King. I do luv me some Anderson Cooper. He cleanses the palate.

  • C_R_Eature

    Eric Fucking Erickson? That's it, I'm outta here.

    • chascates

      He'll go on about how the Gay Teachers Union is behind Obama's forced sterilization of Catholics.

      • C_R_Eature

        It's too much to ask to have to watch that and be way out of Face Smashing distance.

  • Blueb4sunrise

    Everybody head to The Pink Taco.

    • C_R_Eature

      All right, but everyone leave the ultrasound probes at home this time.

  • Negropolis

    This shit made my miss my Rachel, damned them.

  • Poindexter718

    Ewwwww, Santorum's getting interviewed by CNN at the after party and one of his skunk daughters has a giant herpes on her lip!

    • Biff

      Nice teeth, though.

    • Barrelhse

      It's a zipper burn.

    • Gainsbourg69

      I saw her. She looks like Frothy with long hair. Fucking ewwwwww!

    • Generation[redacted]

      See, this is the kind of political reporting you just don't get anywhere else.

  • Limeylizzie

    Did anyone see the segment that Rachel had about the citizens of Homs, Syria paying tribute to the two journalist who were killed? It was awe-inspiring.

    • Negropolis

      I'm really kicking myself, now, for missing her show, tonight. They've got it in podcast form, right? My computer is so damned slow, though, that it'll be hell watching it.

      • SudsMcKenzie

        They repeat it late night.

      • Carrabuda

        There's an audio version too, which I download daily to my phone and listen to while walking the dog. That works really well, and downloads much faster.

        (Yes, I am a fangirl, why do you ask?)

    • chascates

      Too bad Syria isn't in Europe; there might be some intervention. At least Syria isn't in Africa, in which case we wouldn't even hear about it.

    • DustBowlBlues

      I love you Lizzie. Again, you have given me a heads up about something I need to rev up the DVR to get. There is a documentary, "Bearing Witness" about female war correspondents. Marie Colvin was the one woman of the five profiled who was absolutely riveting. I would gladly watch a doc about her. If it's in Netflix, it's worth watching.

      BTW–I am now following you, mostly by accident, but still, I'm glad my finger hit the wrong key. You're welcome.

      • Limeylizzie

        It was wonderful, just a few minutes long of a few hundred people singing and chanting and playing drums all recorded on a camera phone and they were holding up pictures of Marie Colvin and the French journalist, made me cry.

    • http://krisbunda.com/blog/index.php Designer_Rants

      I heard her talking about watching the baby die with shrapnel in its chest on Monday. Then yesterday I heard she was dead. She didn't show any emotion in her voice (other than maybe "urgency") when she described watching the baby die. I didn't get the idea that she was inhuman, but that she had been to so many war torn places, with battle scars to prove it, that this was just War Business as usual, and she was doing her job; going places no one else wants to go, telling us what she's encountered, because someone has to do that.

    • C_R_Eature

      That seriously made me tear up. Caught the end.

    • io9k9s

      The Syrian people are totally inspiring. So much so, that I am looking for flights to Richmond as we snark – if I had any of the character or backbone of Marie, and her ilk, I would be leaving for a "back packing" trip through the Golan Heights.

      • Limeylizzie

        I really think we need to organize a march on Virginia, Hell there are enough Wonketteers to do that, I am serious.

        • io9k9s

          Agreed!!!!! Looks like the virginia senate put the kibosh on a need to protest…But we still have Ohio, Nevada, Florida, Utah, and a doubling back for Colorado and Mississippi to give us plenty to nash our teeth over not to mention sleepless nights wondering how the hell we got here (I blame enablers of the "man cave" lifestyle) – Anyway, as soon as Gov. Bob in Va gets passed over for VP this shit will be right back on the table – so unfortunately, we will have plenty more opportunity…

  • Negropolis

    OT: Dem Michigan Senator Stabenow is now up on Pete Hoekstra by 20-effing-points, and Obama has tied the Republicans in Arizona in the latest PPP poll. Somebody pinch me.

    • http://krisbunda.com/blog/index.php Designer_Rants

      Oh, you must mean Debbie Spenditnow? Yes, she's much better than that racist asshole.

    • Fukui_sanYesOta

      Now that is a beautiful thing.

      @PeteHoekstra
      NOW I KNOW WHAT CAYLEE ANTHONY FELT LIKE!

      • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com FROTHY

        Cruel! Cruel!

        I approve and point and laugh!

    • chascates

      I heard Obama is ahead of Romney by 18 in Michigan.

    • DustBowlBlues

      I'm saying good night on this great piece of news. Maybe, if we can stomach it, and your livers can survive it, there should be more debates for more video clips for Dems to turn into ads. If any of the Ds get enough money to buy teevee time.

    • http://www.southsidejohnny.com/ Jukesgrrl

      In 2008, Obama lost to native son McCain by only 200,000 votes in Arizona. With more than 2.5 million votes cast, that's not many. It IS within the realm of possibility for AZ to go blue if Republicans keep bringing the crazy.

      • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com FROTHY

        Damn, I sure hope so. One third of the population is Latino and one third is Native, and I KNOW there's plenty of decent white folks, so how they ended up saddled with a hive of racist fucking morons is beyond me.

        • NellCote71

          And surely there are women in Arizona, too. Also.

          • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com FROTHY

            Yeah, them people too. Although I just hope there aren't so many of them like Jan Brewer. Old LizardLipz is not my idea of "women" or "human," for that matter, but there ya go, she's the guv and gets to play Pull My Finger with our President. Whatta stupid cow.

    • C_R_Eature

      It' Ain't Over 'till the lady in the horned hat and breastplate sings, but I like the trendline.

    • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com FROTHY

      (Pinches Negropolis obligingly)

      Now you pinch me. If somebody had told me last year that I could look forward to this, I woulda told 'em they were fucking crazy.

    • littlebigdaddy

      I could pinch your ass but that would make me a self-loathing homosexual. And, ergo, a gooper,

      • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com FROTHY

        You don't sound like you're loathing yourself.

  • RadioSBJ

    Romney on another tangent talking about "Fundamental Change." Fuckwads.

    • BarackMyWorld

      He stole Newt's favorite word?

    • Biff

      Rmoney should be talking about teh firmament, right?

  • http://whatisawatthedevolution.blogspot.com imissopus

    Well, that was fucking horrible and we are all poorer for having watched it. Good night!

    • chascates

      In 2016 the GOP hopefuls will be arguing about bringing back trial by fire and what happens when you sail off the edge of the world.

      • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com FROTHY

        I thought Rick Santorum was already doing the equivalent of that with his Satan terrors.

  • BarackMyWorld

    I'm watching the recap on Lawrence O'Donnell. He leads with Newton's latest media attack/complete lie.

  • BarackMyWorld

    Also…John King? Waaaaaaay to apologetic to be moderating these dumb things.

    • http://krisbunda.com/blog/index.php Designer_Rants

      Republicans want, CRAVE authoritarianism. John King needed to start telling them things like: "Shut the fuck up, fat chops, I'm gonna start talkin', and you're gonna keep your stupid lips closed until I point at you. Otherwise the face-punchin' starts again. Does anyone want the face-punchin' to start again? No? Are you sure, you fucking pussies? …*looks each one in the eye round-robin, they avert their stares to their hands in their laps*… Alright. Rick, you said some stupid shit about women every single day this month. What the fuck is wrong with you?"

      • Fukui_sanYesOta

        I would pay money if even one moderator would do anything even close to that.

    • Negropolis

      John is a horrible moderator and interviewer. The good ones know how to direct and lead these things. He's always the guy running behind the train hoping to catch up with it.

  • NellCote71

    arghhh. Ms. Lizard Face is on. Wet t-shirt contest between Jan and Calista?

    • http://www.southsidejohnny.com/ Jukesgrrl

      Did what she said make a word of sense? She "has did everything she could" to decide on a candidate, but …

      • NellCote71

        Jan, meet Sarah. Sarah, Jan.

        • http://www.southsidejohnny.com/ Jukesgrrl

          Word salad for everyone!

  • DustBowlBlues

    OT–Time for Elizabeth Warren to stop being adorable and take off the gloves and let in the money. Did she really think Brown wasn't going to bury her in negative ads? Just the sound of her voice inspires Karl Rove to even greater heights of screeching, nasty and mean lies for attack ads. Christ, is she a politician or not? Decide, Lizzie.

    • http://krisbunda.com/blog/index.php Designer_Rants

      I haven't seen polling, is she not doing well anymore?

      • Gainsbourg69

        There was a poll recently where she was down by nine points. However, there are other polls that see her beating the crap out of Brown among the 55 + and 25 – demographics.

  • iburl

    I missed the debate. Did everyone lose again?

    • DustBowlBlues

      Pretty much. Like one big attack ad by the DNC.

    • chascates

      Just the concepts of democracy, truth, and the American Way.

    • C_R_Eature

      I watched it. I lost too.

    • Negropolis

      Everyone but the president.

  • Blueb4sunrise

    Uh oh. Messicans backpacking nuclear weapons, antihistamines, and history books are marching into Southern Arizona. Gotta go.

  • WiscDad

    Just got home from church…while these assholes are trying to be 'wannabe' Christians…real Christians are practicing the music for weekend services…fucking hypocrites…pass me a blueberry oatmeal stout…I need it

    • DustBowlBlues

      Which denom did you do? I was at Methodist service.

      • WiscDad

        Christian…I gave up on the religion I was raised with, Catholicism…It's a long story, but I'm very happy with this church so far. I'm waiting for the other shoe to fall…but that's my cynicism talking. I hope I'm wrong, but I'll bet the upcoming political battle will tell the tale. Wish me luck :)

  • BarackMyWorld

    Ok…honestly…Are Republican voters really this dumb?

    • http://www.southsidejohnny.com/ Jukesgrrl

      I can only speak for Pennsylvania and Arizona. Yes.

      • NellCote71

        Ant the great state of Texas votes yes. Also.

        • valgal2342

          The Bluegrass State – check.

    • ttommyunger

      Yes. Yes they are.

    • Gainsbourg69

      Those fuckers gave us Rick Scott. Nuff said.

  • http://www.southsidejohnny.com/ Jukesgrrl

    Who decided Jan Brewer should be the face of tourism in Arizona? Don't tell me … Jan Brewer.

    • C_R_Eature

      That Ad made me want to travel. To Iceland.

    • C_R_Eature

      "The Face that Launched a Thousand Lunches."

  • SudsMcKenzie

    Padma is wearing her "burnout dominatrix suit" Oopps wrong live blog

  • DustBowlBlues

    Good night again, and a big thank you to Jim for doing this live blog thing. And thank the wonkeratti for being here when I need to repeat how revolting I find everything and everyone connected with the Republitards. How could anyone who aspires to be a decent human being ever be involved with this shit? Misogynistic, pugilistic douches devoid of compassion for anything but zygotes.

    • chascates

      Our country got rid of the Whigs, the end of the Republicans will eventually come.

      • http://krisbunda.com/blog/index.php Designer_Rants

        Then who will we hate?

        • C_R_Eature

          Lizard People, of course.

          • http://krisbunda.com/blog/index.php Designer_Rants

            Yes, but… Gods and guns aren't going to cling to themselves!

    • http://www.southsidejohnny.com/ Jukesgrrl

      Get a good night's sleep. You'll need your wits about you when tomorrow's news rolls out.

  • Barrelhse

    Tourism in AZ is withered, dried, and cracked?

    • http://www.southsidejohnny.com/ Jukesgrrl

      The whole state is withered, dried, and cracked — In the sense of crack/drugs and cracked/nuts.

  • http://krisbunda.com/blog/index.php Designer_Rants

    Welp, I suppose I can put the barf bags back in the cupboard.

    • C_R_Eature

      I've been using a bucket. Faster response time.

  • Local_Mojo

    Whoa, hey! I just finished my taxes and FAFSA. What did I miss?

    I have Belgian beer. Come on over!

    • Crank_Tango

      Chimay libel! Mort subite, please ! …I don't wanna be Leffe'd out !

      • Local_Mojo

        The Duvel, you say!

        • Crank_Tango

          I don't wanna be up a Kriek…

          • DoktorThompson

            You guys are making my Delirium Tremens act up again.

          • Crank_Tango

            Are you feeling Trappist?Sent from my iPhone

    • littlebigdaddy

      I promise I won't Geuze you.

    • BaldarTFlagass

      Mmmm. Flem.

  • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com FROTHY

    Afraid so, C_T. Here come the brickbats, darlz, take shelter.

  • James Michael Curley

    Left my county democratic convention where we nominated a senator, two congressmen, two freeholders and a surrogate, returned home and walked into the middle of this current shouty, clown .show. It is like going from enjoying a rare filet mignon to a forced, anaesthetized colonoscopy.

    • BaldarTFlagass

      Myself, I prefer to be anaesthetized for my colonoscopies.

      • James Michael Curley

        I typed “un”anaesthetized but Incensed Debate did not accept it and I must have clicked on it without paying attention.“Explain myself? You think I listen to these ramblings?”

  • DrOzarkZ.Hellbender

    Kid Zoom is 14, and already trying out for the Varsity snark squad. He's about as awesome a son as a dad could ask for :)

    • Fukui_sanYesOta

      He sounds kick ass!

  • http://www.southsidejohnny.com/ Jukesgrrl

    Do you live in NJ?

    • James Michael Curley

      Yep.

  • PuckStopsHere

    It's okay for 700b to bail out the banks, but socialist for spend 5% of that to save the auto industry. Fuck all these guys.

  • ThundercatHo

    I watched Transformers 3 with my boys instead. Never would have guessed that the Moon Nazis are really robots who sound like Mr. Spock (sobs softly into pillow), Truly wretched movie with a Bill O'Reilly cameo for extra wretch. At least it was probably better than these turds and had explosions.

    • http://loljazzcatz.blogspot.com/ Chet Kincaid

      That movie was filmed right outside of my office window 2 years ago. Now, I hate the precious childhood toys and memories of everyone who was a child after me, so I could give a shit about Transformers, but it would have been interesting to see how they tore up Chicago with CG. However, in the interim, I was subjected to "Transformers 2", so there is no fucking way I will ever watch "3".

  • ttommyunger

    Logged at at eleven, 944 posts. Read them by midnight. Logged off and opened page again and posts had grown to over a thousand. Better an hour spent reading Wonkette posts than any time spent watching that bizzaro card game. What a hand to draw to: 4 Deuces, a Joker and a Wild Card.

  • Fukui_sanYesOta

    FINALLY I can have a huge glass of wine. Damn, that debate stuff is hard work. Thanks all for keeping me sane through it!

  • BarackMyWorld

    I'm getting tired of reporters calling him "Speaker Gingrich." First of all, "Speaker" isn't a real title, you're supposed to use "Mr. Speaker" if you are addressing him directly if he is Speaker of the House, but "Speaker" isn't put in front of his name. Second, "Speaker of the House" is not one of those titles you get to keep for he rest of your life. Otherwise Nancy Pelosi would still get to be called that, which she does not.

    He should actually be referred to as "Dr. Gingrich." Or "You massive shit head" if brevity isn't an issue.

    • C_R_Eature

      Actually, we'll accept "Odious Blow-Toad" also.

      There should be a rule that anyone forced out of a national office in disgrace loses the courtesy of being referred to with the title.

    • Negropolis

      I hear "Speaker Pelosi" quite a bit, still, and Senator, Governor, President are regularly affixed to former politicians or former holders of that office. Speaker is a bit different in that it's an office elected from within the house, but it honestly doesn't bother me.

    • Dashboard Shmoo

      Given Newt's base, it would be better to refer to him as "Speaker to Animals"

      • BaldarTFlagass

        Doctor Do Little?

  • http://www.flickr.com/photos/30500320@N06/ DerrickWildcat

    I just got back from Yahoo and learned that Ron Paul totally destroyed everyone in this debate.

    • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com FROTHY

      I see the Ronulans are thick, so to speak, on the ground there, as usual.

    • http://littlegreenfootballs.com/article/39308_Breitbarts_Fans_Spew_Racism_Call_for_President_Obama_t glamourdammerung

      But they were saying that before the debate started too, so at least the paultards are consistent.

  • arihaya

    kids and average Joe of Iran better start buying a good life insurance

    they might gonna need it

  • flamingpdog

    I decided to spend tonight looking at naked women on the intertubez rather than listening to naked avarice on the TeeVee. Did any of the R_tards slip up and say the "n" word out loud tonight?

    EDIT: And by "n" word, I don't mean "nowledge".

    • http://www.flickr.com/photos/30500320@N06/ DerrickWildcat

      Why did they have the darn thing on at the same time Ghost Hunters was on? After Ghost Hunters they have Ghost Hunters International, but that show is rubbish. It's pretty fake, but the Ghost Hunters is for real.

    • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com FROTHY

      Oh, they would *never* use THAT n-word, they have no acquaintance with *it* whatsoever. As for the other, they certainly delighted to tell us repeatedly about the sins of the Blahs and their great efforts in the combating thereof.

      Pricks.

    • C_R_Eature

      No "nowledge" was used in the production of the debate. And on one even so much as used the word "Knickers", either.

  • http://sciencekick.blogspot.com valthemus

    Gosh darn it to heck… I was busy avoiding things that make me want to yank my head off and missed the debate. Did the wealthy Christian white men complain about the bigotry and hard times they face as wealthy Christian white men?

  • BarackMyWorld

    Tonight I learned hard questions about contraceptives are because in 2008 no one ever asked Obama why he supports infanticide.

  • comrad_darkness

    News to the white male republican establishment: God didn't give you the natural ability to control your own childbirth for some damn good reason of His own. Deal with it.

  • C_R_Eature

    Ha, Ha! I just woke up from the most awful dream! For no explicable reasons, the Unctuous Rick Santorum and the Odious Newt Gingrich were back on the national stage – running for President – of all things! And , get this, the Republican party had gone complete 'round the bend and actually started banning birth control and abortions instead of just mollifying their crazy base and using it as s political club. *sips coffee, blinks, stretches*

    Ohhhhhh fuck, it's real…….

    • Fukui_sanYesOta

      Bad luck! It's all real and it'll be the narrative running up to the election!

      Bring on the fucking clowns! It's Election time in the best country God ever gave the Earth (C) Sean Hannity.

      I do love this country, but fuck me sideways sometimes I miss England.

      • Biff

        I miss England too, though my people have been here for 4 generations and I've never been to England at all.

      • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com FROTHY

        What the Biff said.

  • C_R_Eature

    That's no lie – it really is the way I woke up this morning. It's a sad state of affairs that the sanest part of the day is that twilight state right after the alarm goes off and before the news goes on.

    I was born here and – soon – I'm willing to move anywhere that's even marginally more sane. If there's any place left, that is

    • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com FROTHY

      Let's go up to Vancouver, dear CRE. It's pretty cool. (Hugs the CREature).

      Illegimati non carborundum, dood.

  • C_R_Eature
  • http://krisbunda.com/blog/index.php Designer_Rants

    Comments don't work for me when we have so many (?) I want to reply to you, but when I click on "go to comment" from my email, the comments don't load, or it doesn't go to the correct comment… Any suggestions? I really like the Intense Debate comment system, but it seems to have issues.

    I used to have "Disqus" on my blog, and when I was having issues with it, I eventually clicked (in the admin options) some radio-button about using Javascript, and that solved it. Does the Wonkette editors have magic radio buttons to click?

    • Dashboard Shmoo

      They have to check in their magical underwear. What? Everybody's wearing them these days…they're all the rage.

  • BlueStateLibel

    Here is the best quote* from the whole night: “Wait — wait a second. Wait a second. Wait a second. Wait a second. Wait!**” Mr. Romney said.

    *Actual quote from the NY Times.
    **Same thing Seamus was thinking.

  • stew1

    As Ron Paul would say the young people would say, that debate was "not groovy". Ron Paul is groovy. These kooky kids, these days. What with their long hair, stereo records…

  • elburritodeluxe

    At least it ended on a high note. Everyone started fucking, right?

  • James Michael Curley

    Poor Rick Santorum. Everyone this morning is playing the "you voted to raise the budget a gazillion times while in the Senate." Yet Little Ricky neglects to respond that the Constitution requires all bills of revenue to originate in the house and all he and the other helpless (hapless) republican senators could do is work with what they got.

    Certainly easier than the tortured responses he gave. OTH, maybe he doesn't read the Constitution.

    • http://krisbunda.com/blog/index.php Designer_Rants

      He just reads "Theocracy Weekly".

      • James Michael Curley

        You got an “o” where a space should be.

    • Biff

      Is there a King James version, with all of jeebus's words highlighted in red?

      • James Michael Curley

        No but there is an Oliver Cromwell version with all the page headings ripped off.

  • James Michael Curley

    After blaming Santorum for "Romneycare" I'm looking forward to the next debate when Mittens will blame Linsay Lohan for his being born into a rich, white family.

  • Chichikovovich

    Missed the debate and liveblog last night. Sorry to hear that once again, nobody spontaneously combusted on stage. Life is just one long series of disappointments.
    But I'm at least delighted to hear that Pope Maliface I is getting hammered for his dutiful voting to raise the debt limit over and over again.

    You reap what you sow, Rick. The core of the Republican narrative is that Bush wasn't really a Republican and everybody was opposed to his deficit – inflating, complete up-fucking ways. It's harder to find a Republican today who supported Bush than it was in the immediate aftermath of WWII to find a Frenchman who wasn't in the Resistance.

    But as those of us who don't practice the patented Republican "self-deception by agreed-on common narrative" remember all too well, those people didn't just uniformly support Bush – they virtually worshiped him. They accused anyone who voiced criticism of him as a traitor, of endangering soldiers' lives. They refused to refer to him in any way but "Commander in Chief" and they would even describe him as "our" Commander in Chief, rather than the CoC of the military, as if each American was obliged to follow his orders. They didn't blink when a Justice department employee let slip that they took a personal oath to support the President (rather than, or perhaps (let's hope) in addition to the Constitution). They defended the Administration when they clearly broke the law by leaking the name of an active CIA agent, and cheered when administration officials just flatly refused to answer Congressional subpoenas. And so on. The depressing list of mindless-herd, idolatrous behavior could fill a book.

    And most of all, they practiced ruthless message discipline and party discipline on the floor of the House and Senate. If the President wanted it, Senators and Congresscritters supported it. And, sadly for Pope Maliface I, he was on board for all that Bushy stuff. And since 99% of Republican attacks on Obama are for things that Bush did as much or even more than Obama (Czars, raise debt ceiling, push bills that are passed using reconciliation, …) Maliface is trapped. He is on record, voting for all that stuff which is otherwise down the memory hole.

    You should have been more prudent during the years of the fat cows, your worship, because the skinny cows have come to eat them. Bet you had fun while it lasted, douchebag, but the bill has come due.

    • http://www.storycorner.us/ JustPixelz

      My contention is all the Republican candidates are running for Bush's third term. More middle east war, more deficit-creating tax cuts, more holes in the safety net (including that regulatory net that keeps markets and food safer). They have no ideas. CORRECTION: They have disavowed their own ideas; e.g., health insurance reform.

      And, seriously, was anything Bush did a success?

      • Chichikovovich

        One thing I've always felt Bush didn't get nearly enough credit for was that after Reagan, Bush I, and Clinton all ended their terms with an orgy of pardons (many of them clearly aimed at ensuring that Iran-Contra figures couldn't be pressured to testify, and many others evidently self-interested).Bush Jr, on the other hand, just left office without doing any of that, even when Dick Cheney was howling about a pardon for poor Scooter.So I will say that Bush's leaving office was a great success.—

        • ShaveTheWhales

          He probably forgot.

  • UnholyMoses

    You can grow apricot dildos … ?

    brb

  • Biff

    Guess there won't be a new post until the editors have slept off their massive debate hangovers, so I'm just gonna slip on out the back, and head on over to California for a few days. Hope to find a shiny new place to live while I'm at it…

    • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com FROTHY

      Yay, Biffster! I want all the details, soon's you get back.

      • Biff

        I'm back. Beautiful travelling weather, but the High Sierra could really use some snow. Nothing I encountered would dissuade me from relocating, ran into some old friends, and some old former friends, because of newfound bigotry. Aside from that, it was good to get away from here, and get away from politics for a couple of days. Didn't find a house to buy, realtor says to wait until the next wave of repos. How comforting.

        • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com FROTHY

          Ecch. I wuz hoping we'd be neighbours soon, and stuff.

          Good to have you back virtually, tho. The Republicans burned down the house while you were away, and then pissed all over the fire to put the flames out and when that didn't work, they tried to take a dump on the hot ashes and ended up singeing their asses.

          Plus, the guards went away and left us some fun threads to play in. C'mon in, the water's fine!

  • ElPinche

    How many GOP debates has wonkette covered this primary season so far? Can we get Nate Silver on this to do some statistical analysis plotting our nausea over time?

  • Blueb4sunrise

    Hot Mennonite Babes of Mexico!!!!!
    http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/magazine-17136245

  • Blueb4sunrise

    Top Stories on the google news batch:

    Mitt Romney
    Sacha Baron Cohen
    Vladimir Putin
    YouPorn
    Tornado
    Rick Santorum
    Somalia
    Colorectal cancer
    Kevin Rudd
    Migraine

  • DahBoner

    How many camels does a Mexican need to cross Arid Zone Uh?

  • Chichikovovich

    I'm not Catholic – its just that growing up in a small French town in the Canadian north, I was surrounded by Catholics, would go to Mass with them sometimes, knew the local Père Bonhomme from asking him at least once a week in the winter if I could go up to retrieve the puck that had landed on the church roof from an errant slapshot, would be enlisted in Church plays whenever my friends needed someone who could convincingly play a tête-carré, etc.

    So know a lot about the church and church teachings as a result, and I know enough people who use the church as a source of support or as a means through which they can channel loving and charitable instincts that it sometimes softens my expressions of contempt for the actions of the official hierarchy. (Though it doesn't soften the contempt itself for those actions and attitudes).

    But no, I've been an atheist (or only very occasionally and transiently a Deist, when I've been reading too much Voltaire, or even more occasionally and transiently a believer in whatever the heck it is that Spinoza calls God, when I've been thinking too much about Spinoza) since I can ever remember putting the question of God's existence to myself.

    • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com FROTHY

      Good, I feel less guilty about trashing Catholics now. -)

      Those oaths you unleashed the other day were spectacularly impressive. I rarely even get to hear those from poking the Manitobain.

      • Chichikovovich

        French-Canadian from Manitoba? Saint Boniface, perhaps? (Nice symmetry with the “Maliface” above.)—

        • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com FROTHY

          French-Canadian/Irish from Galway and Manitoba. Currently blathering on something about the patron saint of the Metis community there, but I shall certainly put the question.

          • Chichikovovich

            Louis Riel? Or do you mean an official Saint, with posthumous miracles and a Devil's advocate and stuff.—

          • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com FROTHY

            Not Riel, there's a book about him I've been ordered to read, with much verbal recrimination against the tetes-carrees. There's another official Saint – a Metis settlement called Lawrencetown?

            I must poke the Manitobain till I get a response.

    • Gunner Asch

      I just got done with Francis Parkman's "The Jesuits in North America in the 17th Century" and it left me schizo with both amazement that people could so whole-heartedly believe that what the Indians really needed was a big dose of Catholicism
      and admiration for the bravery and perseverance they showed when dealing with folks who could have taught the Apaches a graduate course in torture.

  • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com FROTHY

    Not born or raised a Xtian. We only got sent to Sunday School when our parents wanted to fuck. They told us not to believe any of that shit because Christianity was clearly a primitive religion.

  • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com FROTHY

    Van Vogt?

  • Dashboard Buddha

    Well done, Historicat. I love how I can play with geeky sci-fi references and folks here get 'em.

  • HistoriCat

    Larry Niven (Ringworld, etc.)