chris christie yelling at people

Chris Christie To Rich Old Liberal: ‘Shut Up,’ Rich Old Liberal

Cantankerous Jersey Shore nightclub bouncer Chris Christie found a new IDIOT [SIGH] to holler at yesterday, for being so STUPID. And it wasn’t even a public school teacher or elderly Iowan (very close, though!) or generic constituent politely asking a question. It was Warren Buffett, the scary old billionaire liberal investor who keeps whining about how he pays a lower tax rate than his slaves/parakeets/whatever and wants to change this. Well Chris Christie’s heard about enough from this old windbag creep, and his pathetic calls for raising marginal tax rates on the wealthy a few percentage points as a means of deficit-reduction.

Don’t faint all at once, press corps! Here’s your darling, yelling at a liberal:

“He should just write a check and shut up,” Christie said Tuesday on CNN’s “Piers Morgan Tonight.” “Really, and just contribute. The fact of the matter is that I’m tired of hearing about it. If he wants to give the government more money, he’s got the ability to write a check — go ahead and write it.”

He is in fact matching donations with congressmen who are also willing to send a check, which is more than he needs to do — not that it matters for him obviously; he can write large checks all day as a stunt if he wants to, because he has too much money. Republicans keep trotting out this line and by now they’re surely aware of the obvious response about the futility of one individual voluntarily paying higher taxes. Now they’re just saying it to piss off liberals, which is fine.


About the author

Jim Newell is Wonkette's beloved Capitol Hill Typing Demon. He joined in 2007, left for some other dumb job in 2010, and proudly returned in 2012 as our "Senior Editor at Large." He lives in Washington and also writes for things such as The Guardian, the Manchester paper of liberals.

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    1. HELisforHEL

      Or set him on fire, on a spit like an immense szalonna. Think of all the starving people he could feed.

      1. chicken_thief

        By the time the fat burned off, all the would be left would be roughly the equivalent of a Cornish hen. But not near as tasty.

    1. BerkeleyBear

      No way that fat fucker is going to anything labeled a warren. Too many bad Winnie the Pooh stuck in Rabbit's door flashbacks.

  1. Goonemeritus

    Warren Buffett responded by buying New Jersey, tearing it down and converting it to parking for New York and Pennsylvania.

  2. EatsBabyDingos

    Chrissie needs a transvaginal ultrasound-maybe we could see where he puts his head when it's up his ass. And find out why his panties are too tight.

      1. James Michael Curley

        There actually are XXXXXXXXL cloths.

        However, Chritie has his jockey shorts made by the same company that makes the device which catches F-22's when the over shoot the runway on the U.S.S. Enterpirse.

    1. glamourdammerung

      Chrissie needs a transvaginal ultrasound-maybe we could see where he puts his head when it's up his ass.

      That would take a good 7-10 days just to find the correct fold of fat the hole was located at.

    1. GOPCrusher

      Ironic isn't it?
      All concerned about someone's 1st Amendment Rights, until they say something they don't want to hear.
      Gazillionaires are people too, my friend.

  3. Baconzgood

    "You should just lose some weight and shut up,…Really you're a fat fuck, and just get a Sweatin' to the Oldies tape. The fact of the matter is that I’m tired of looking at your fat ass. If you wanna lose weight, you got the ability to stop stuffing a box of Ho-Ho's in your gob hole every 10 seconds— go ahead I bet you can't do it. Oh, and I can buy and sell your fat ass 15 times over and still afford to pay your wife and kids 25 mil to all lick my taint at the same time.”

    -Warren Buffett-

    1. slithytoves

      Until I reach my goal weight, I wanna keep seeing him. He does more than anybody to help keep me on my diet.

      1. MarionNYNY

        Just following Christie's logic fail. He suggests that if Buffet doesn't feel he's paying enough he should just right a check to the government. But Buffet's point was that he pays more proportionally than his secretary. So following Christie's logic, if Buffet feels bad about this he should supplement the poor people who are getting screwed and leave the government alone.

  4. annettaj

    If Christie is really tired of hearing about Buffet, why doesn't he stick his sausage fingers into his ears like the petulant child he seemingly ate?

  5. cheaphits

    I see, Buffett should shut-up and fatass Christie should go on TV and mouth off = rethug logic…where fair is not fair.

    The rules don't apply to us because…, uh, uh…exceptionalism

  6. Goonemeritus

    Say what you want about the intrepid hippie protestors of OWS they have changed the debate. In fact they have done it so successfully that no one seems to remember a time when income inequality wasn’t their biggest issue.

    1. HELisforHEL

      And they did it all while being ignored by the media for nearly forever, until the news organizations pulled out the good ole 'lookit the crazy, kooky hippies!' meme that they've employed since forever, all the while MISSING THE POINT ENTIRELY.
      Despite this, the 99% in the hinterlands figured it out enough to make it part of the debate. So maybe there's hope?

    2. SoBeach

      Sure, income inequality and indefensible tax breaks for the super-wealthy are becoming an issue, but folks like Christie are damn sure going to nip it in the bud with their irrefutable "Sit Down And Shut Up" logic.

    1. GOPCrusher

      I don't know if Berkshire-Hathaway has offices in New Jersey, but it would be amusing to see them make a public statement that they are no longer going to be doing business there because the Governor is an asshole.

  7. Oblios_Cap

    I can really see why the GOP wants Christie to run instead of the douchebags in their primaries now.

    Better break out Taft's old bathtub!

    1. HELisforHEL

      I keep wondering that, too. NJ isn't THAT dumb, despite Jersey Shore and Name-Any-HBO-Show-About-Gangsters's attempts to portray it that way.

  8. Mojopo

    You know what I absolutely love about this fat blob of grease and hair? His pants. It is hysterical the way he wears pants. The waist is about 20 feet around and 3 feet wide, so it looks like he's wearing a circus tent with legs. He pulls those britches right up to his enormous tits and cinches them up with a narrow belt, because – you know – the belt is so slimming.

    1. slithytoves

      I was thinking this morning about his jacket – trying to guess how many yards of material it took to make it. You could probably house 10 OWS protesters in that tent.

      1. Mojopo

        How many vegans could have clothing for a year if Chris Christie didn't need a jacket? Sarah McLachlan should be singing the hell out of this.

    2. FakaktaSouth

      The man can be fat without subjecting us all to his front butt. I think he should lose the belt too, and go with some suspenders and a cigar – old timey fat guys are cuter.

  9. Beowoof

    Oh Oh a billionaire who isn't as selfish and greedy as Chris and the rest of the righties. Sorry Chris there are people with money and a conscience, a trait seriously lacking in most republicans such as yourself.

  10. SorosBot

    Why should Buffett have to shut up? True, his fans can be pretty annoying at times, but Cheeseburger in Paradise and Margaritaville are classics (and Christie loves the cheeseburgers himself).

    1. Gunner Asch

      Best audience reaction I ever saw was when he performed in Seattle shortly after Mt. St. Helens went kablooey and he got to the line "I don't know where I'm gonna go when the volcano blow". We were still trying to wash what seemed like carborundum dust off everything. I thought my finest expense account notation was getting to claim extra mileage so as to reroute around the ash cloud.

    1. Boojum_Reborn

      Srsly — why should Christie marry? He's too fat to have "normal" sex, aka the kind that leads to children.

      I bet he hasn't found his penis in years! Can you imagine the crusty smegma coated jelly worm THAT must be?

  11. actor212

    Dear God, I ask so few things in my life, now that I've got a fur-lined sink, but could you please see your way clear to allowing Warren Buffet to purchase the entire state of New Jersey and firing the governor? I swear, I'll make it up to you. Build you a fur-lined cathedral or something.

    1. sewollef

      The problem with your wish is that's where the Mob relocated to after they were run out of town by those commie Girl Scouts.

      If Mr Buffet buys up the state, they'll all come back to Brooklyn…. and frankly, we just don't want Mr Gambino and his ilk.

  12. SorosBot

    A rich person who thinks he should pay his fair share in taxes, and the government should do its job to help the poor and middle class? Warren Buffett is obviously a class traitor!!

          1. Fare la Volpe

            That's unsanitary. He should hire professional money cleaners to polish his coins to a golden sheen.

  13. paris biltong

    Nobody likes a class traitor, although it's stretching it a little to place Christie and Buffett in the same class.

        1. Crank_Tango

          Oh yeah, don't they go by displacement? I heard they had to widen the panama canal for his last trip, I dunno, somewhere.Sent from my iPhone

  14. __kth__

    I don't know why people are impressed with Christie, as his whole schtick consists of some banal wingnut quip (people who think taxes should go up should voluntarily pay more themselves), with "go fuck yourself" or "shove it up your ass" appended to it.

    1. Tundra Grifter


      It's right up there with "If you don't like America, move to China." Yet which party consistently talks about the terrible shape our nation is in?

      1. Fare la Volpe

        Everything about Christie tells me that he used to steal poor kids' lunch money and then sit on them.

  15. FlipOffResearch

    "Republicans keep trotting out this line and by now they’re surely aware of the obvious response about the futility of one individual voluntarily paying higher taxes."

    That sounds about as serious as any of the Republican other ideas.

  16. ElPinche

    Eh , conservatives have no idea what Kristie Kreme is saying. They just love it when he gets all shouty. He could scream 'ARRGGHGGhhhGHGHHGGH!!' and WaPo would write a 1 pager praising him on it.

  17. JustPixelz

    I have an idea! Let's cut taxes for wealthy people. And get rid of regulations. Also, don't let the IRS collect taxes from people. ("Do you owe the IRS over $10,000? We can help you pay just a few pennies on the dollar.") That is a sure-fire way to unbounded prosperity.

    And, hey, while we're at it, let's put a couple of oil men in the White House. They'll keep gas prices down by "talking down the price of oil” with his Saudi friends. (Highest gas prices in U.S. history in July 2008.)

    1. Crank_Tango

      Constantly threatening war in the Persian Gulf="talking down the price of oil"

      Well, it's worked so far. Cuz them oil mens really want oil to be cheap, right?

    2. GOPCrusher

      We need to implement Trump's Plan to not only not pay China back for the money we borrowed but start taxing them for being on the same planet as us.

  18. EatsBabyDingos

    With the line "Changes in latitudes, changes in fattydudes," I can see why The Corpulent One hates Buffet.

  19. MissTaken

    In a choice between Buffett's adorable Geico gecko and Christie's fat ginormous gut, I choose Buffett every time.

      1. MissTaken

        I'm pretty sure the last person who played find-the-penis with Christie is still stuck in-between rolls #7 and #8 in his fupa.

  20. Tundra Grifter

    This is the "conservative" who wants the state of New Jersey to take over parts of Atlantic City.

    He can run his mouth, but he can't run his state.

  21. Generation[redacted]

    Now they’re just saying it to piss off liberals, which is fine.

    "Anything that pisses off liberals gets my vote!" -Teatard

  22. meatlofer

    Buffett would have had Christie hit and dumped in the Hudson,other than the coastal flooding that would've followed.

  23. Maman

    How is it exactly that a guy who is quoted as saying, "I'll tell you why I like the cigarette business. It costs a penny to make. Sell it for a dollar. It's addictive. And there's fantastic brand loyalty." is considered a LIBERAL?

    That is a sad, sad commentary of the Repub party.

  24. chicken_thief

    "He is in fact matching donations with congressmen who are also willing to send a check, …"

    But so far, Buffet only had to match one. And he offered to donate 3-to-1 for any voluntary contributions by McConnell. While Christie just proposed a tax plan that would give 40% of the benefits to the top 1%.

  25. DonnyKerabotsos

    Maybe a compromise?

    Warren Buffet can write the big check and Crisp Christie can shut the fuck up.

    I believe such an agreement is referred to as a 'win-win.'

  26. johnnyzhivago

    My only question about Christie is whether his political career will come to an end when outed as a self loathing homosexual, the "Jersey" way – which is being caught dealing with the Mafia, or just unable to campaign because he is over private jet weight limits.

  27. FakaktaSouth

    Borrowing from Curb Your Enthusiasm. WHY DON'T YOU SHUT UP YOU FAT FUCK??? YOU FAT FUCK!!!!!!
    Ahem. I am saying this again. Keep talking. Keep talking, keep being a dick with a dick. It is helpful when the guy who vetoes states' rights says shut the fuck up to a man that wants to make our country better. It is good. Rick Santorum and his anti-amniocentesis party are (Eddie Izzard) "collapsing like a flan in a cupboard" by BEING WHO THEY ARE. The money behind this party who could honestly in real life give a fuck about any of their wedge issues know what they have done and they are shitting. The more they talk the more the rest of you people with the good fortune to live some god damn where else can hear that THIS IS NOT A JOKE. THEY ARE THIS STUPID – it's NOT just Alabama. Their "bubble" is so strong they REALLY THINK this is what the whole (white) country wants. Even about 40% of us here in this piece of shit state disagree so BEFORE THE Rs EVEN KNOW THIS SHIT – AND THEY DON'T KNOW A DAMNED THING ABOUT WHAT IS REALLY GOING ON – make sure the rest of us do. They. really. don't. know. "I say, Let em crash."

  28. Tommy1733

    Across-the-board tax cuts make good political sense but not good fiscal sense. Taxes are proportional for very good, time-tested, mother-approved reasons. He will no doubt win many voters with this move in the short term.

  29. An_Outhouse

    Hey Fatty, Fat Boy.You fucking whale. Has the wifey found your pee pee lately? Or does she wear a strap on and do you like the bottom you are?

  30. Chichikovovich

    They left out the part where Christie continued "So write a check already – those extra-capacity helecopters that fly me to and from my kids baseball games don't pay for themselves, you know!"

  31. JimmyPete

    Wow Chris even you know that if Warren would give a donation to the government it would mean bubkus , sorta like bringing you one donut from D&D's. Better still those rich assholes you hang out with all be made to pay a little bit more. They'll still send their kids to those expensive Catholic Schools, ride their horsey's , and drive their big old Beemers. Maybe they'll be enough money in the till to fill some of the potholes on Route 80, Course you wouldn't know about that using a your state paid for flying machine to go see your kid play lacross. Now if you'd only have a salad or two maybe the Jersey taxpayers could save some money for fuel in that helicopter.

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