Ron Paul Dirties Self With Santorum So Mitt Romney Doesn’t Have To

  ron paul ron paul ron paul

Ron Paul is doing all the work for his absolute best best best friend in history, Mitt Romney. Look at this here scary new ad about Rick Santorum, perhaps titled “Rick Santorum Voted For Everything That Everyone Except Me Voted For,” such as the foreign aid budget and hikes in the debt ceiling. Are Ron Paul and Mitt Romney conspiring to take Rick Santorum down? Probably, because he is another candidate in a political race and this is what you do.

How close are Ron Paul and Mitt Romney? Romney, according to the Times, offered his lakeside New Hampshire palace to the Pauls last year. He very well could’ve stolen Romney’s 500 barrels of Werther’s Originals & myrrh and sniffed out his dirty underwear, for opposition research. But alas:

When Mr. Paul’s campaign jet broke down last year in Wolfeboro, N.H., Mr. Romney’s wife, Ann, offered to let Mr. Paul, an aide and one of his granddaughters stay the night at their summer home on Lake Winnipesaukee. When Mr. Romney arrived later, he offered his jet to take them home to Texas. Mr. Paul, not wanting to impose, was grateful but declined both offers.

What a sweet man that Mittens is, to Doctor Congressman Ron Paul. Now let’s see Paul run third-party to screw over Romney in the general election anyway!

[Indecision; NYT]

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Jim Newell is Wonkette's beloved Capitol Hill Typing Demon. He joined Wonkette.com in 2007, left for some other dumb job in 2010, and proudly returned in 2012 as our "Senior Editor at Large." He lives in Washington and also writes for things such as The Guardian, the Manchester paper of liberals.

View all articles by Jim Newell

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76 comments

  1. bumfug

    Santorum is "not groovy"? No shit, how could he hope to beat a hep cat like Ron ("Ooooh, look at the colors") Paul?

  2. Antispandex

    Sent billions of our tax dollars to dictators? Hello? If that were the litmus test, congress would be empty…hey, wait a minute, maybe…

    1. mrpuma2u

      Mint Moremoney does not own a summer home anywhere near the city limits of Detroit, as it is filled with the coloreds etc..

  3. Hera Sent Me

    Mitt also offered to fire his household staff and pilots while Ron watched, just in case it might cheer him up. Ron declined, but said he wouldn't mind watching as Mitt slashed their wages.

    1. GOPCrusher

      See, I would think Ron would of enjoyed seeing one of them taken out back and flogged for their insolence. Just a reminder of the good old days.

  4. TeaNuts

    Hey I had a Uncle that lived in lake Winnipesaukee once, how do spell that, W-I-N-N ahh make it lake Erie, I got a Aunt there. Nuck, Nuck!

  5. Mumbletypeg

    voted… stolen… race… [implied: alliance]..

    Survivor: it's no longer just a serial televised entertainment vehicle, but add a little Fear Factor and it's now a way of life.

  6. WiscDad

    'Yes dear…put them in the lake house. I don't want the neighbors seeing that kind of riff-raff going into OUR house. What would they THINK?'

    1. Callyson

      Maybe it's best to save them for the fall. Some of us have to pace ourselves on the endless lulz that this campaign has given us.

  7. slithytoves

    When Mr. Paul’s campaign jet broke down…(Romney) offered his jet to take them home to Texas.

    The rich really are different. And not in a good way.

  8. widestanceromance

    Two minutes into Romney's artful and erotic dancing in his underwear, RP was hoofing it the hell out of the state ("this guy's a queer. . .").

  9. Oblios_Cap

    "Who is Ron Paul?", the tycoons asked in hushed, worshipful tones.

    "Just another asshat that washed out of clown college", said I.

  10. poorgradstudent

    On the way home I actually walked by a bunch of Ron Paul activists last night. The potent mixture of pity and contempt that I felt was a completely new feeling for me.

  11. Biel_ze_Bubba

    "Home-Skoolin' Santorum" doubled the size of the Dept. of Education? These Republitards are so confusing, Imma vote for Obama.

  12. flamingpdog

    Mr. Gingrich then offered one reason he would not force Mr. Paul to vote for it: “I don’t want his people pestering me,” Mr. Paul recalled Mr. Gingrich as saying.

    Personally, I've had a lot more experience with Mint Rmoney's "people" pestering me.

  13. FakaktaSouth

    I say he's going for it, for his own self. If I'm Ron Paul, I'm looking around thinking JESUS CHRIST these idiots will vote for ANYbody! I still got a shot here! What the heck man, we live in interesting times.

  14. Callyson

    Now I know the real reason Ron Paul is in favor of decriminalizing marijuana use.
    (PS–anyone got a line on who his dealer is? Judging from the ad, he's doing some grade A stuff…)

  15. MinAgain

    Now let’s see Paul run third-party to screw over Romney in the general election anyway!

    From your mouth to God's ear.

  16. SayItWithWookies

    Gee, Mitt — having your own airplane is probably a little tiny bit richer-than-thou. You should show everyone you're a 99-percenter and use NetJets like all the other little people.

  17. chicken_thief

    "When Mr. Romney arrived later, he offered his jet to take them home to Texas."

    I think if Mittens and the Doc were good buddies, Mittens might have offered to play chess with him, or go for a bro-night movie together or something like that. Not get him the fuck out of Mitt's summer home town asap no matter the cost.

  18. chascates

    Choose one:
    1. Wealthy Cult Member who will say anything to get elected
    2. Delusional Catholic running for Jesus of America
    3. Pompous Serial Adulterer refused tenure at 3rd rate college
    4. Eccentric Old Uncle who hoards gold, hemp, and babies

    FOUR MORE YEARS! (of gridlock)

  19. Mrspanky

    You've got Drudge slamming Santorum. You have Paul poking Santorum.

    But where the hell is Newt? What is he doing with his fresh transfusion of $10M from his Godfather? Hell, even Willard has parked his 737 jet (I guess it's back to the family Gulfstream) because donor money is getting tight.

    I want to see Florida-level negative ads! I want blood! I want the GOP nominee to be decided by the Koch brothers in the VIP Room of the "World's Famous" Tampa "gentleman's club", Mons Venus!

  20. Troglodeity

    I for one am getting pretty tired of the Lubestream Media's constant references to Santorum "surging."

  21. lulzmonger

    By now Obama has had at least 30% of his ads given to him for free, c/o the GOP.

    Isn't it good to know that Ron Paul is all about running on real issues & won't take the low r-BWAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAA. Heh. Hee hee.

    President Obama looks to me like he will be putting a rope-a-dope on the GOP, again – & they look to be dedicated to hitting every piece of bait he has laid down in a trail toward their Punji Pit of FAIL, again.

    Live by the DERP, die by the DERP.

    You can fuck over some of the people some of the time, & you can even fuck over most of the people most of the time if you're slick enough … but Republicans have been fucking over nearly everyone nearly all the time, & the only slick you'll find among them is in Vitter's man-diapers. Rove must be secretly donning hardcore Goth make-up & cutting by now.

    The clown-car is on fire, & the four dipshits inside are fighting for the steering-wheel they just yanked loose – not so they can put it back on, but so they can club the others to death with it.

    Selah.

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