RON PAUL RON PAUL RON PAUL  2:34 pm February 21, 2012

Ron Paul Dirties Self With Santorum So Mitt Romney Doesn’t Have To

by Jim Newell

Ron Paul is doing all the work for his absolute best best best friend in history, Mitt Romney. Look at this here scary new ad about Rick Santorum, perhaps titled “Rick Santorum Voted For Everything That Everyone Except Me Voted For,” such as the foreign aid budget and hikes in the debt ceiling. Are Ron Paul and Mitt Romney conspiring to take Rick Santorum down? Probably, because he is another candidate in a political race and this is what you do.

How close are Ron Paul and Mitt Romney? Romney, according to the Times, offered his lakeside New Hampshire palace to the Pauls last year. He very well could’ve stolen Romney’s 500 barrels of Werther’s Originals & myrrh and sniffed out his dirty underwear, for opposition research. But alas:

When Mr. Paul’s campaign jet broke down last year in Wolfeboro, N.H., Mr. Romney’s wife, Ann, offered to let Mr. Paul, an aide and one of his granddaughters stay the night at their summer home on Lake Winnipesaukee. When Mr. Romney arrived later, he offered his jet to take them home to Texas. Mr. Paul, not wanting to impose, was grateful but declined both offers.

What a sweet man that Mittens is, to Doctor Congressman Ron Paul. Now let’s see Paul run third-party to screw over Romney in the general election anyway!

[Indecision; NYT]

 

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{ 76 comments }

nounverb911 February 21, 2012 at 2:37 pm

Is Ron Paul secretly one of Mitt's wives?

johnnyzhivago February 21, 2012 at 2:37 pm

"eveything that everyone but me voted for" would basically be everything, right.

hagajim February 21, 2012 at 2:38 pm

I think Dr. Paul needs a wet wipe to get that extra Santorum off him.

nounverb911 February 21, 2012 at 2:39 pm

Maybe Rmoney should hose him off.

starfanglednut February 21, 2012 at 7:27 pm

Or tie him to the top of his car for a trip to Canada.

bumfug February 21, 2012 at 2:40 pm

Santorum is "not groovy"? No shit, how could he hope to beat a hep cat like Ron ("Ooooh, look at the colors") Paul?

MOG2410 February 21, 2012 at 3:58 pm

He's so bummed.

DerrickWildcat February 21, 2012 at 2:42 pm

Ron Paul: 12% of the vote, 68% of all internet traffic!

CAPS LOCK 2012!!!

Guppy February 21, 2012 at 3:23 pm

4CHAN LIBEL!!

SorosBot February 21, 2012 at 2:42 pm

Oh great, someone's probably typing up some Ronmey slashfic as we speak.

EatsBabyDingos February 21, 2012 at 2:43 pm

The enema of my enema is my friend.

VinnyThePooh February 21, 2012 at 3:08 pm

Beat me to it. Damn you!

Generation[redacted] February 21, 2012 at 2:43 pm

This is just like Watergate, but with Santorum.

weej_bain February 21, 2012 at 2:50 pm

And that the plumbers (pre-Joe) have put tape over the fundament rather than the door latch. Pressure will soon be building.

Texan_Bulldog February 21, 2012 at 2:43 pm

Why didn't Mittens offer Ron a ride on the top of his car?

chicken_thief February 21, 2012 at 4:15 pm

Duh. Because the dog rides there. Seamus l-o-v-e-s it!!! It's so…. colon cleansing.

Antispandex February 21, 2012 at 2:47 pm

Sent billions of our tax dollars to dictators? Hello? If that were the litmus test, congress would be empty…hey, wait a minute, maybe…

Lionel[redacted]Esq February 21, 2012 at 2:48 pm

But why would a robot need a human doctor?

bikerlaureate February 21, 2012 at 4:01 pm

DECEPTION.

Negropolis February 22, 2012 at 2:40 am

Why, for keeping up appearances, of course.

JustPixelz February 21, 2012 at 2:49 pm

How many jets to these people have? And — just asking here — is Romney's jet made in Detroit out of bailout money?

Inchhigh February 21, 2012 at 2:51 pm

Ron Paul/Honey Badger 2012
They don't give a shit

slowhansolo February 21, 2012 at 2:51 pm

Is there any place Rmoney doesn't have a summer home?

nounverb911 February 21, 2012 at 2:54 pm

Detroit.

mrpuma2u February 21, 2012 at 2:56 pm

Mint Moremoney does not own a summer home anywhere near the city limits of Detroit, as it is filled with the coloreds etc..

Hera Sent Me February 21, 2012 at 2:52 pm

Mitt also offered to fire his household staff and pilots while Ron watched, just in case it might cheer him up. Ron declined, but said he wouldn't mind watching as Mitt slashed their wages.

V572 Flambé February 21, 2012 at 3:20 pm

No real loss, since Mittens pays them in government-issued fiat money.

GOPCrusher February 21, 2012 at 5:22 pm

See, I would think Ron would of enjoyed seeing one of them taken out back and flogged for their insolence. Just a reminder of the good old days.

SudsMcKenzie February 21, 2012 at 2:53 pm

I was waiting for Big Foot to weigh in on the primary. Thanks Dr. Paul!12

TeaNuts February 21, 2012 at 2:53 pm

Hey I had a Uncle that lived in lake Winnipesaukee once, how do spell that, W-I-N-N ahh make it lake Erie, I got a Aunt there. Nuck, Nuck!

Joshua Norton February 21, 2012 at 2:55 pm

Willard is a truly warm and gifted human being.

HAHA. PSYCH!

Chillwillard February 21, 2012 at 2:56 pm

A useful idiot is always a good idiot.

MOG2410 February 21, 2012 at 3:59 pm

And yet, still an idiot.

Chillwillard February 21, 2012 at 4:50 pm

And in Mittens' case, it takes one to know one.

Mumbletypeg February 21, 2012 at 2:56 pm

voted… stolen… race… [implied: alliance]..

Survivor: it's no longer just a serial televised entertainment vehicle, but add a little Fear Factor and it's now a way of life.

littlebigdaddy February 21, 2012 at 2:57 pm

Well, who wouldn't offer these things to a kindly old racist hobbit doctor?

WiscDad February 21, 2012 at 2:58 pm

'Yes dear…put them in the lake house. I don't want the neighbors seeing that kind of riff-raff going into OUR house. What would they THINK?'

ifthethunderdontgetya February 21, 2012 at 2:59 pm

How close are Ron Paul and Mitt Romney?

O.K. Jim, enough with the tease.

You've got pics, don't you.
~

MOG2410 February 21, 2012 at 4:01 pm

ummm, sounds dreamy. ugh.

Callyson February 21, 2012 at 4:02 pm

Maybe it's best to save them for the fall. Some of us have to pace ourselves on the endless lulz that this campaign has given us.

fuflans February 21, 2012 at 3:04 pm

When Mr. Paul’s campaign jet broke down

i thought he rode a blimp?

widestanceromance February 21, 2012 at 3:25 pm

I thought he rode the Wings of the Invisible Hand

RadioSBJ February 21, 2012 at 3:09 pm

Needz moar Foley.

slithytoves February 21, 2012 at 3:11 pm

When Mr. Paul’s campaign jet broke down…(Romney) offered his jet to take them home to Texas.

The rich really are different. And not in a good way.

BarackMyWorld February 21, 2012 at 3:15 pm

I'm ashamed to admit it, but I found that ad really enjoyable.

I'm a sucker for 70s exploitation flick homages. I think they even used one of the same announcers.

Not_So_Much February 21, 2012 at 3:15 pm

Ron Paul is still alive?

Guppy February 21, 2012 at 3:25 pm

Yes, but he stayed flat.

widestanceromance February 21, 2012 at 3:21 pm

Two minutes into Romney's artful and erotic dancing in his underwear, RP was hoofing it the hell out of the state ("this guy's a queer. . .").

Bonzos_Bed_Time February 21, 2012 at 4:18 pm

"Would you care for a chocolate covered strawberry?"

Oblios_Cap February 21, 2012 at 3:22 pm

"Who is Ron Paul?", the tycoons asked in hushed, worshipful tones.

"Just another asshat that washed out of clown college", said I.

bikerlaureate February 21, 2012 at 4:04 pm

First read that as "typhoons."

Needs new NObamacare free welfare eyeglasses…

DaRooster February 21, 2012 at 3:24 pm

When will Santorum be wiped out?

Oblios_Cap February 21, 2012 at 3:30 pm

When he stops surging up from behind Willard.

chicken_thief February 21, 2012 at 4:20 pm

Santorum has topped them all at this point.

starfanglednut February 21, 2012 at 7:33 pm

You mean wiped up?

poorgradstudent February 21, 2012 at 3:25 pm

On the way home I actually walked by a bunch of Ron Paul activists last night. The potent mixture of pity and contempt that I felt was a completely new feeling for me.

starfanglednut February 21, 2012 at 7:35 pm

We get a few of them around here, but they're not nearly as funny as the Laroucheites.

Biel_ze_Bubba February 21, 2012 at 3:26 pm

"Home-Skoolin' Santorum" doubled the size of the Dept. of Education? These Republitards are so confusing, Imma vote for Obama.

flamingpdog February 21, 2012 at 3:28 pm

Mr. Gingrich then offered one reason he would not force Mr. Paul to vote for it: “I don’t want his people pestering me,” Mr. Paul recalled Mr. Gingrich as saying.

Personally, I've had a lot more experience with Mint Rmoney's "people" pestering me.

FakaktaSouth February 21, 2012 at 3:28 pm

I say he's going for it, for his own self. If I'm Ron Paul, I'm looking around thinking JESUS CHRIST these idiots will vote for ANYbody! I still got a shot here! What the heck man, we live in interesting times.

SpiderCrab February 21, 2012 at 3:42 pm

Meet Ron Paul, Chairman of the Federal Reserve in the hypothetical Mitt-misadminisration.

Callyson February 21, 2012 at 3:45 pm

Now I know the real reason Ron Paul is in favor of decriminalizing marijuana use.
(PS–anyone got a line on who his dealer is? Judging from the ad, he's doing some grade A stuff…)

actor212 February 21, 2012 at 3:49 pm

Leave it to Ron Paul! to clean up after Santorum

MinAgain February 21, 2012 at 3:50 pm

Now let’s see Paul run third-party to screw over Romney in the general election anyway!

From your mouth to God's ear.

SayItWithWookies February 21, 2012 at 3:55 pm

Gee, Mitt — having your own airplane is probably a little tiny bit richer-than-thou. You should show everyone you're a 99-percenter and use NetJets like all the other little people.

bikerlaureate February 21, 2012 at 4:05 pm

Curious that this benevolence didn't get snarked at before this…

chicken_thief February 21, 2012 at 4:24 pm

"When Mr. Romney arrived later, he offered his jet to take them home to Texas."

I think if Mittens and the Doc were good buddies, Mittens might have offered to play chess with him, or go for a bro-night movie together or something like that. Not get him the fuck out of Mitt's summer home town asap no matter the cost.

Nostrildamus February 21, 2012 at 4:54 pm

Ad looks like it was designed to appeal to children.

A wise move.

chascates February 21, 2012 at 5:05 pm

Choose one:
1. Wealthy Cult Member who will say anything to get elected
2. Delusional Catholic running for Jesus of America
3. Pompous Serial Adulterer refused tenure at 3rd rate college
4. Eccentric Old Uncle who hoards gold, hemp, and babies

FOUR MORE YEARS! (of gridlock)

Mrspanky February 21, 2012 at 6:40 pm

You've got Drudge slamming Santorum. You have Paul poking Santorum.

But where the hell is Newt? What is he doing with his fresh transfusion of $10M from his Godfather? Hell, even Willard has parked his 737 jet (I guess it's back to the family Gulfstream) because donor money is getting tight.

I want to see Florida-level negative ads! I want blood! I want the GOP nominee to be decided by the Koch brothers in the VIP Room of the "World's Famous" Tampa "gentleman's club", Mons Venus!

Troglodeity February 21, 2012 at 6:49 pm

I for one am getting pretty tired of the Lubestream Media's constant references to Santorum "surging."

lulzmonger February 22, 2012 at 2:36 am

By now Obama has had at least 30% of his ads given to him for free, c/o the GOP.

Isn't it good to know that Ron Paul is all about running on real issues & won't take the low r-BWAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAA. Heh. Hee hee.

President Obama looks to me like he will be putting a rope-a-dope on the GOP, again – & they look to be dedicated to hitting every piece of bait he has laid down in a trail toward their Punji Pit of FAIL, again.

Live by the DERP, die by the DERP.

You can fuck over some of the people some of the time, & you can even fuck over most of the people most of the time if you're slick enough … but Republicans have been fucking over nearly everyone nearly all the time, & the only slick you'll find among them is in Vitter's man-diapers. Rove must be secretly donning hardcore Goth make-up & cutting by now.

The clown-car is on fire, & the four dipshits inside are fighting for the steering-wheel they just yanked loose – not so they can put it back on, but so they can club the others to death with it.

Selah.

Negropolis February 22, 2012 at 2:46 am

Ron has the best ads, no joke.

DahBoner February 22, 2012 at 7:35 am

Ron Paul

WHE3EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEREZ THE BLIMP?

ttommyunger February 22, 2012 at 8:45 pm

Now, if he'd offered to loan him some eyebrows, well……

starfanglednut February 21, 2012 at 7:36 pm

Oh shit!

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