lives of the gays

Mexico-Bashing Gay Arizona Sheriff Shares Tips On Forbidden Love

He will always love Mexico.Recently outed gay Arizona sheriff Paul Babeu has some hot relationship tips about his longtime gay partner “Jose,” who was also a trusted political consultant for Babeu and even designed all of Babeu’s congressional campaign websites: Jose somehow secretly “wanted to harm me,” Babeu told CNN on Monday. If true, this follows the typical Republican foreign policy of bullying people from other countries and then threatening to bomb them for being upset about being bullied.

But in the case of Jose, Sheriff Babeu threatened to deport his longtime gay lover — the Arizona version of a nuclear bomb. Here are two terribly awkward terrible people talking about this:

The important thing is that when a comical hypocrite Republican is caught with his pants down — and with a gay lover, and that gay lover is also a Mexican national and the comical hypocrite Republican has built his whole sick career on bashing Mexican immigrants — it must mean there is some conspiracy when the media and the nation say “haw haw.” Blingee art by Princess Sparkle Pony. [CNN/Politico]

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Comments

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  • Barb

    I shot inside the Sherrif….

    • Crank_Tango

      Too soon?

      • Fare la Volpe

        There are pills for that.

    • valgal2342

      but I did not kill his Mexican gay lover illegal immigrant deputy.

    • Tundra Grifter

      Barb:

      Omar?

    • Barb

      I misspelled SHERIFF. Pain meds! I blew it like a Mexican national.

      • Indiepalin

        Omar Sharif?

        • http://simplyleftbehind.blogspot.com/ actor212

          Sharif don't like it.

      • freakishlywrong

        Barb, adorable kitten and pain meds aside, I just got back from an appointment and am hysterically laughing my butt off. (If only)).

        • Barb

          I am trying this new thing where I don't take the pain meds. It takes me about an hour to remember why they gave them to me in the first place, lol. Then I take them and my baby booty knitting looks like it was done by a spider on Xanax. I am somewhat useless right now.
          Thanks for being sweet and forgiving me. xo

          • OneDollarJuana

            Barb, if the pain meds are going to be a permanent thing, you may reach the point where being lucid and in pain is preferable to being stupid. My brother was eating literally dozens of oxycontin a day (no he's not a Republican), but got so tired of being in fog he quit. Cold turkey. So it can be done.

          • Barb

            I very much appreciate what you just said, thanks. Lucid is the way to go. Jeff just called from work and said that he thinks he just ruptured his eardrum. I am going to get dressed and take him to the ER now.

          • SorosBot

            Oh god, hope he's OK; we're thinking of you two.

          • Barb

            Can you believe Jeff has strep throat and they are testing him for a staph infection? I'm going to go lie down with him and I'll be back tomorrow.

          • MissTaken

            Oh no! Take care and hopefully he's okay. You two definitely deserve several pain free days.

      • Dashboard Shmoo

        I saw what you did there.

    • ttommyunger

      …but I did not blow the Deputy….

      • OneDollarJuana

        ttommy, how come it was funnier the second time you posted it? Perfecting your delivery?

        • prommie

          It was a technique often used by Henny Youngman, repeating the punchline, works, when the timing is right.

          • Biff

            And continued to this day by Jay Leno.

          • tessiee

            And Paulie Walnuts:
            [tells joke]
            You hear what I said there?
            *elbow nudge*
            I said, [retells entire joke verbatim]

          • prommie

            Yeah, but its never funny, when Leno does it.

        • ttommyunger

          We try. What is life without laughter? I suspected the first post's author was making a cute point, but might have been too young to have actually heard the song I tried to reference in my comment. Glad you got it, but you realize it prolly ID's you as an old.

    • http://simplyleftbehind.blogspot.com/ actor212

      Imma think sweet Babeau is a pitcher, not a catcher.

    • Negropolis

      …and he also did the dep-u-ty.

  • nounverb911

    "Jose can you see?"

    • An_Outhouse

      my flag pole?

  • Tundra Grifter

    "Who moved my taco?"

    ~ Sheriff Paul "Sweet" Babeu

  • mrpuma2u

    Yo quiero mucho mi amor Sherrif! Wow this guy made a run for the border his gun shootin' buddies didn't see coming. Maybe he can make a guest appearance on "Reno 911"

  • Crank_Tango

    Str8 acting!

    • Lascauxcaveman

      Yeah well, they're not fooling anyone.

    • Fare la Volpe

      Please.

      The handcuffs on his belt are just a cry for attention.

      • Crank_Tango

        Also, dildo tazer.

        • Fare la Volpe

          Wait, is that a thing? Can it be? We would make a fucking fortune with a product like that!

          I can picture the slogan now: "Dildo Taser – Put the Spark Back into Your Love Life"

          • Crank_Tango

            Well I saw a site from some local sf chick who mentioned electrified butt-plugs, so I am sure it is, but is it patented and trademarked etc? I dunnoSent from my iPhone

  • http://hong-kong-actresses.blogspot.com/ donner_froh

    The media is turning all our manly sheriffs gay!

    • jodyleek

      And here I thought it was the illegal Messicans what were turnin' us all ghey! Its a conspiracy between 'em I tells ya, also. Too.

    • Baconzgood

      I blame the Village People costume he goes around wearing. SOOOOOO GAY!

  • http://www.wonkette.com ChurchofRealism

    Apparently, illegal aliens arn't cool unless you are fucking them in the ass. Who knew?

    • bagofmice

      Who knew you could trade Santorum for a green card?

    • chicken_thief

      And, obvs, even illigal Messicuns dig a man in uniform.

  • EatsBabyDingos

    You Babe to BabeU to Babelube for Dummies

  • chascates

    Talk about a 'love-hate' relationship with Mexico!

    Or, Love, South of the Border.

    • memzilla

      South of the Border? Pedro no le hace gracia!

      • chascates

        Man, that's almost the Hispanic version of AmosAndAndyland!

        • memzilla

          True 'nuff. On the bright side, though… fireworks and tequila!

        • tessiee

          I know, who can believe it's in South Carolina?

  • Tundra Grifter

    Sheriff Babeu's explanations are coming fast and furious.

    Apparently, so was Jose.

    • widestanceromance

      fast and furious. . .making Babeu the real wetback.

  • memzilla

    C'mon, give the Mexi-Gay-Bashing sheriff some credit for at least keeping it out of the airport bathrooms, 'k?

    Postura amplia, no!

    • chicken_thief

      And, apparently, over the age of consent. Priests, take notice!

    • Callyson

      Now you know why they closed the restrooms along the Arizona highway rest stops. What, you thought that business about budget cuts was the real reason?

  • sck007

    Heeey, Babeu, what's inside your pic-a-nic basket?

    • Texan_Bulldog

      A shitload of Santorum?

    • memzilla

      I don't think the ranger is gonna like this, Yogi…

    • Tundra Grifter

      He's definately not smarter than the average Sheriff.

  • http://hong-kong-actresses.blogspot.com/ donner_froh

    You just know this guy is a bossy bottom.

    • Limeylizzie

      I love that expression, mainly because ,if I were a gay man, that is what I would be.

      • Fare la Volpe

        Join us. We have jackets.

        • Limeylizzie

          Awesome!

        • Negropolis

          Dinner or sport?

  • FakaktaSouth

    I believe him and think there's just something about this Sheriff guy, because I TOTALLY wanna hurt him too.

  • MissTaken

    Deporting your illegal immigrant boyfriend? And here I thought showing my "I Only Sleep With Democrats" button to scare off asshole hedge fund boyfriends was inspired.

    • SorosBot

      Thus denying yourself the chance to become a rich asshole's kept woman; what a missed opportunity.

      • tessiee

        I've met a few of those guys and their concubines. Those gals earn every penny, believe me.

        • SorosBot

          Especially if they end up looking like Callista Gingrich; ick.

        • MissTaken

          I'm one of those crazy ladies who actually expects her bf/husband to respect her. And I don't want to worry if I gain 5 lbs that I'll be kicked out on my ass.

          • tessiee

            Having been acquainted with the folks on both sides of the aisle, I can safely say that none of them are any fantastic bargain. The gals are vapid whores, and the guys are narcissistic assholes who would step over the dying bodies of ten terrific women to be with Barbie (and don't worry, they cheat on her, too). In one of those rare instances of justice in real life, they deserve each other.

        • Tundra Grifter

          tessiee:

          I think it was W. Somerset Maugham who wrote that the trouble with marrying for money was that most people didn't want to work that hard.

          • LesBontemps

            I tell my kids, "Marry for money; you can find love anywhere, but money is hard to come by."

    • LesBontemps

      Only Democrats? You mean us Socialists are out of luck?

      • Fare la Volpe

        You have to come in the back door.

        • chicken_thief

          You crack up, you!!!

        • Tundra Grifter

          Best Christmas song ever – "Back Door Santa" by Clarence Carter. "I Still Get That Old Time Feeling for You" is probably his best work, however.

  • Texan_Bulldog

    New movie idea: Brokeback Desert

    And what's poor Whitney done to deserve being pictured next to this asshole?

    • chascates

      If they hadn't died Telly Savalas could play the sheriff and Catinflas could play Jose.

      As it is we'll have Howie Mandel and Erik Estrada.

      • Limeylizzie

        How much do I love you for the Cantinflas reference?

      • Gainsbourg69

        I watched a marathon of Cantinflas films just last week. His films are funnier the more you watch them.

    • memzilla

      It's okay. She's with her career now.

      • LesBontemps

        So much win in that.

    • NYNYNYjr

      This would be an awesome movie. Ed Harris…that kid from Motorcycle diaries? Bruce Willis and Ricky Martin? Oh my God….cool movie.

  • HarryButtle

    I'm curious…no, not about self-loathing closeted Republitards, they're easy to figure out!

    But why is Whitney Houston in that Blingee? Was she a gay Latino man? Or a Sheriff?

    • themcwow

      Rumors had it…

    • Tundra Grifter

      HB:

      Perhaps she pushed aside Diana Ross as the idol of gay boys' affection.

  • Franknflower

    "I love service." Mmmhmm.

  • Franknflower

    "Service in the Sheriff's Office?" Oh my.

    • chascates

      'To Protect and To Serve'

      • WunkRocker

        But dammit. Service in the Sheriff's Orifice, that should be a (blow)jerb for a U.S. American homo. Just another fucking republican shipping our (blow)jerbs over the borderline…seems like I going to lose my mind…keep pushing me…keep pushing me..

  • ttommyunger

    " secretly “wanted to harm me,” ….If, by harm, he means run a hot messican hard-on up his ass and down his throat continuously. What a phony dickwad!

    • tessiee

      "up his ass and down his throat continuously"

      And in that chronological order, please.

  • sharethegrief

    Babeu wishes everybody Happiness and Piece.

    • tessiee

      "Happiness and Piece."

      That's spelled "a penis and piece".

  • chicken_thief

    Babeu, I need your lovin',
    got to have all your lovin',

    Babeu, I need your lovin'
    got to have all your lovin'
    'cause I'm Messican and ain't got no green card, ….

  • SorosBot

    I'm just glad our editors didn't go with the Sheriff's underwear pic that's out there.

    • chascates

      Link or it didn't happen.

      • SorosBot

        OK, but don't say I didn't warn you.
        https://encrypted-tbn2.google.com/images?q=tbn:AN

        • Loaded_Pants

          Why am I not surprised that he has one of those god awful "tribal" tats?

          • DaRooster

            But I will bet it doesn't go under his arm… 'cuz that would hurt.

          • SorosBot

            Oh those hideous tats were no surprise at all. The tightie – grayies? – were though.

          • MissTaken

            And it appears he bunched up his tightie-cloudies to make them look like a thong. Weird.

          • SorosBot

            And I blame you for directing me to that picture; now I can't unsee it.

          • MissTaken

            As they say, 'misery loves company'

          • Fare la Volpe

            They're military issue briefs.

            …Don't ask.

        • chascates

          Not as bad as something Shorts would have come up with.

          For which I thank you.

        • Mojopo

          Gray briefs? How very 1990's lesbian of him.

          • Swampgas_Man

            Apparently they broke up when Jose washed Baboo's tighty-whities w/ dark colors. Laundry Revenge!

        • chicken_thief

          WTF, could that bathroom be any smaller?! They need to up the Sheriff's salary so he can get a double wide.

  • edgydrifter

    The first rule of Undocumented Mexican Down-Low Sexytime Club is: Don't get in the middle of a public deportation case against your undocumented Mexican down-low sexytime partner.

  • http://www.wonkette.com ManchuCandidate

    The greatest love of all
    Is easy to deport
    Dating an Illegal Alien
    It is the greatest love of all

  • Indiepalin

    I thought Babeu was deported to Pakistan…

    • Biff

      Wasn't Babar French?

    • Gunner Asch

      Wasn't Babue that Uzbeki witch that lives in the house with chicken legs?

  • Generation[redacted]

    Hard-nosed sheriff and illegal immigrant? I think this couple is taking the sexytime role playing a wee bit too far.

    • jus_wonderin

      Did Babeu play the good cop role or the bad cop role?

      • bagofmice

        He played the wee bit.

      • Negropolis

        Yes.

  • http://wonkette.com/ weej_bain

    So how long before the other shoe drops about Sheriff Babeu and Todd Palin?

  • bureaucrap

    Do they give a Pulitzer for blingees? Cuz Princess Sparkle Pony so deserves one.

  • HarryButtle

    Actually, he learned this technique from Sheriff Joe. The trick is to immediately attack your enemies with all the faux indignation and dismissive scorn you can conjure up and take your case to all the friendly media-types. Regardless of what you've done, the story is always about how you've been treated unfairly and that THEY are out to get you.

    It doesn't really fool anybody, but it gives your supporters a life preserver to hang on to as they try to forget and/or justify whatever God-awful thing you've just done.

    • tessiee

      "Regardless of what you've done, the story is always about how you've been treated unfairly and that THEY are out to get you."

      And just when I'd succeeded in forgetting all about Grifterella.

  • prommie

    So I guess this guy is the proof that the Mexicans come here to do the jobs that Americans don't want to do.

    • Fare la Volpe

      I find this comment very easy to masturbate to.

  • http://wonkette.com NorbertsRevenge

    Gotta run for the border but here's an alternative graphic:
    http://ecx.images-amazon.com/images/I/61udgqPeMdL

  • prommie

    Is he saying that Jose was the Candidate's Manchurian Mexican?

    • Tundra Grifter

      Instead of the Queen of Diamonds you just show him the Ace of Spades.

  • BigDumbRedDog

    Great. Now the Mexicans are taking all our gay buttsex too. Build the danged fence already!

    • bagofmice

      Dey took our blow jerbs!

  • Ducandy

    I think we finally found that new candidate the Repugs are looking for!

  • http://www.wonkette.com ChurchofRealism

    Arizona: We fuck illegal aliens, literally!

  • http://hong-kong-actresses.blogspot.com/ donner_froh

    So Mexicans are bad unless they slip you some of that forbidden hot chorizo while south of your border.

  • jus_wonderin

    Babeu? We don't need no stinkin' Babeu! (I bet some used that one already. Just busy here.)

  • freakishlywrong

    This is so delish. And this shitbird is still running, convinced that his hatriotism will get him elected. He's gonna learn a thing or two about conservative hate. It does NOT swing both ways. Just hate ONE way, towards everyone not like them.

    • Biff

      They'll support him, to prove they're not bigots.

  • DaRooster

    So Rick Scott is a gay sheriff in Arizona?

    • Nothingisamiss

      That's IT! I knew he reminded me of another hypocritical asshole!

  • widestanceromance

    The first time I saw a pic of Babeu, circa "dang fence era," my thought was, "either she's got a little sugar in her, or I'll be happy to put some in her."

  • Baconzgood

    Wait a gay man fucking a Mexican…..Doesn't that make him a Liberal by default? Can Baconz get a ruling on this one?

    • bagofmice

      In this case, there's fuck and there's FUCK. You're going to have to be more precise.

  • http://www.flickr.com/photos/30500320@N06/ DerrickWildcat

    This is quite a dilemma for the Tea Baggers. Do they hate Mexicans or Gays more?
    It also explains why Arpaio put them in Pink Jumpsuits.

  • SayItWithWookies

    So that's what they mean when they say "To Protect and Serve."

    • Generation[redacted]

      Republicans think using protection is an assault on their family values.

      • bagofmice

        In this case, the protection was using the Mexican.

      • GOPCrusher

        No fetii were harmed in the making of this film.

  • Biel_ze_Bubba

    This is very bad news for messican illegals. We sort of looked the other way, because nobody here wanted to pick fucking lettuce for 10 hours a day. But when people find out that gay illegals are doing web site design? The santorum's really gonna hit the fan now.

    • chicken_thief

      Agreed! Thanks to Babeu, Arizona will now probably pass some draconian fucking "papers, please" l….. what?! Never mind…

  • Trannysurprise

    Pedro says……

    Get your tank filled at SOUTH OF THE BORDER!

  • http://simplyleftbehind.blogspot.com/ actor212

    PROTIP: If your elected official has killer abs, tattoos and a shaved head, the likelihood he is sexting a shame-laden relationship hovers around 100%

    • Gunner Asch

      C'mon, let's not be hating on the shaved head thing. I do that too, else I look like my barber is Friar Tuck.

      • http://simplyleftbehind.blogspot.com/ actor212

        I shave too! Both heads, but that's not important right now.

        • Gunner Asch

          Until now I didn't realize I could cross my legs into a double knot.

  • WhatTheHeck

    Cat-fight at the O.K. corral.

  • http://simplyleftbehind.blogspot.com/ actor212

    So I'm the first to say it?

    BABEAULOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    (see also: Babeau Booie!)

  • hagajim

    Mexican asshat dance anyone?

  • Oblios_Cap

    Baba Louie needs to see Marcus Bachmann and get his gay prayed away. It only takes two days, I hear.

    • chicken_thief

      Marcus doesn't have the energy of his younger years when it took two weeks?

  • Oblios_Cap

    Recently outed gay Arizona sheriff Paul Babeu has some hot relationship tips about his longtime gay partner “Jose

    I'm sure they're keen and pentrating insights.

    • prommie

      Why just the tips? I would think he'd enjoy the whole thing.

      • bagofmice

        Mexicans come in, Mexicans come out. He can't explain it.

  • MinAgain

    I have to wonder about the power dynamics in that relationship. And then I have to go scrub my brain with bleach.

  • BTWBFDIMHO

    Enough wetbacks for the Sherriff!

  • prommie

    I often feel that way about myself.

    • bagofmice

      Don't worry, I've been assured that that comment blows.

    • http://simplyleftbehind.blogspot.com/ actor212

      Hands down, no doubt.

      • WunkRocker

        I've hired some kid outside of the Nike factory in Central Shitfuckistan to let prommie's comment bugger him. Best 19 cents I ever spent.

        • chicken_thief

          Jerb creator!

  • meatlofer

    When you sell guns to the Injuns,don't be suprised whe they shoot your ass.(or in your ass)

  • BTWBFDIMHO

    -José? Qué José?
    -El que te culeó y se fué!

  • bagofmice

    He came out too early.

    • prommie

      The Sheriff was shocked, shocked to discover that the guy blowing him was gay!

      • Biff

        I know the Onion did a spoof of this, years ago.

  • littlebigdaddy

    What can brown do for you? Quite alot, apparently.

  • TeaNuts

    I'ma thinkin that the "Sheriff" outfit will be real popular this Halloween in San Fran.

  • Native_of_SL_UT

    You know the ol' standby "dead girl/live boy" scandals were getting a little stale so this amping it up with the illegal immigrant slant is really refreshing.

  • Steverino247

    "To Penetrate and Squirt" it says on the side of his car.

  • tessiee

    Is my home-girl Whitney in the picture because Jose is "savin all his love for Babboooooo"?

  • Dashboard Shmoo

    Has it happened yet? The argument about how if gay marriage is legalized, thousand of brown skinned homosexuals will flood across our border so they could get citizenship through marriage?

    • Fare la Volpe

      Mexico City already offers gay marriage.

      Why else do you think all those frat bros head down to "Cancun" for spring break?

      • Dashboard Shmoo

        I did not know that. Amazing stuff.—

  • tessiee

    "Jose somehow secretly “wanted to harm me,”"

    Or, instead of Jose, most people who had ever met Babboo.

  • upthruster

    The attentive listener will notice the underlying response to Blitzkreig's relationship question is since he's always working 7 days a week, he only has time for nooners and late night quickies in the squad car. That will be good practice for working conditions in congress.

    • chicken_thief

      Pages, you are hereby on notice!

  • paris biltong

    Why does he keep grabbing his thigh? Or is he grabbing something else that hangs way down in his pants. Show-off!

  • An_Outhouse

    What does a repug got to do to get fired around here? Gay Sheriff banging an illegal immigrant and its a-okay? WTF?

  • Pithaughn

    Anchor Boner?

  • An_Outhouse

    The sexual tension in that interview was overwhelming. Get a room, guys.

    • chicken_thief

      Come on already!

  • Fare la Volpe

    Babeu is breaking history, you guys: He's the first openly closeted man to ever run for office!

  • WiscDad

    Must've been a lovers spat…or his lover spat

  • 738838

    Weird connection, but up here in Western Mass, the story is out that Babeu received a settlement from the Catholic Church because he was serially molested by …… you guessed it….. a priest. Sad. (masslive.com)

    • WiscDad

      Was it a Messican priest

  • 738838

    Richard Lavigne. Not sure, maybe French Canadian

  • BornInATrailer

    I must have missed it because, with two posts on the gay southwestern sheriff, I cannot believe there hasn't been a "The sheriff is queer!" Blazing Saddles comment.

  • poorgradstudent

    Let me say that, while Wonkette's blingees never fail to at least amuse me, this one had me in tears of joy and schadenfreude.

  • mavenmaven

    "…then threatening to bomb them for being upset about being bullied, while f—ing them in the @$$". There, fixed.

  • ghblowhard

    awkward!

  • fuflans

    princess sparkle pony has been missed over here.

  • Negropolis

    The best part of the story isn't the Mexican lover, but rather that Babeu is apparently a total, greedy slut of a man trying to bone every Tom, Dick and Hairy.

    You see what I did there?