Mexico-Bashing Gay Arizona Sheriff Shares Tips On Forbidden Love

  lives of the gays

He will always love Mexico.Recently outed gay Arizona sheriff Paul Babeu has some hot relationship tips about his longtime gay partner “Jose,” who was also a trusted political consultant for Babeu and even designed all of Babeu’s congressional campaign websites: Jose somehow secretly “wanted to harm me,” Babeu told CNN on Monday. If true, this follows the typical Republican foreign policy of bullying people from other countries and then threatening to bomb them for being upset about being bullied.

But in the case of Jose, Sheriff Babeu threatened to deport his longtime gay lover — the Arizona version of a nuclear bomb. Here are two terribly awkward terrible people talking about this:

The important thing is that when a comical hypocrite Republican is caught with his pants down — and with a gay lover, and that gay lover is also a Mexican national and the comical hypocrite Republican has built his whole sick career on bashing Mexican immigrants — it must mean there is some conspiracy when the media and the nation say “haw haw.” Blingee art by Princess Sparkle Pony. [CNN/Politico]

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197 comments

      1. freakishlywrong

        Barb, adorable kitten and pain meds aside, I just got back from an appointment and am hysterically laughing my butt off. (If only)).

        1. Barb

          I am trying this new thing where I don't take the pain meds. It takes me about an hour to remember why they gave them to me in the first place, lol. Then I take them and my baby booty knitting looks like it was done by a spider on Xanax. I am somewhat useless right now.
          Thanks for being sweet and forgiving me. xo

          1. OneDollarJuana

            Barb, if the pain meds are going to be a permanent thing, you may reach the point where being lucid and in pain is preferable to being stupid. My brother was eating literally dozens of oxycontin a day (no he's not a Republican), but got so tired of being in fog he quit. Cold turkey. So it can be done.

          2. Barb

            I very much appreciate what you just said, thanks. Lucid is the way to go. Jeff just called from work and said that he thinks he just ruptured his eardrum. I am going to get dressed and take him to the ER now.

          3. Barb

            Can you believe Jeff has strep throat and they are testing him for a staph infection? I'm going to go lie down with him and I'll be back tomorrow.

        1. prommie

          It was a technique often used by Henny Youngman, repeating the punchline, works, when the timing is right.

          1. tessiee

            And Paulie Walnuts:
            [tells joke]
            You hear what I said there?
            *elbow nudge*
            I said, [retells entire joke verbatim]

        2. ttommyunger

          We try. What is life without laughter? I suspected the first post's author was making a cute point, but might have been too young to have actually heard the song I tried to reference in my comment. Glad you got it, but you realize it prolly ID's you as an old.

  1. mrpuma2u

    Yo quiero mucho mi amor Sherrif! Wow this guy made a run for the border his gun shootin' buddies didn't see coming. Maybe he can make a guest appearance on "Reno 911"

        1. Fare la Volpe

          Wait, is that a thing? Can it be? We would make a fucking fortune with a product like that!

          I can picture the slogan now: "Dildo Taser – Put the Spark Back into Your Love Life"

          1. Crank_Tango

            Well I saw a site from some local sf chick who mentioned electrified butt-plugs, so I am sure it is, but is it patented and trademarked etc? I dunnoSent from my iPhone

    1. jodyleek

      And here I thought it was the illegal Messicans what were turnin' us all ghey! Its a conspiracy between 'em I tells ya, also. Too.

  2. memzilla

    C'mon, give the Mexi-Gay-Bashing sheriff some credit for at least keeping it out of the airport bathrooms, 'k?

    Postura amplia, no!

    1. Callyson

      Now you know why they closed the restrooms along the Arizona highway rest stops. What, you thought that business about budget cuts was the real reason?

  3. FakaktaSouth

    I believe him and think there's just something about this Sheriff guy, because I TOTALLY wanna hurt him too.

  4. MissTaken

    Deporting your illegal immigrant boyfriend? And here I thought showing my "I Only Sleep With Democrats" button to scare off asshole hedge fund boyfriends was inspired.

        1. MissTaken

          I'm one of those crazy ladies who actually expects her bf/husband to respect her. And I don't want to worry if I gain 5 lbs that I'll be kicked out on my ass.

          1. tessiee

            Having been acquainted with the folks on both sides of the aisle, I can safely say that none of them are any fantastic bargain. The gals are vapid whores, and the guys are narcissistic assholes who would step over the dying bodies of ten terrific women to be with Barbie (and don't worry, they cheat on her, too). In one of those rare instances of justice in real life, they deserve each other.

        2. Tundra Grifter

          tessiee:

          I think it was W. Somerset Maugham who wrote that the trouble with marrying for money was that most people didn't want to work that hard.

        1. Tundra Grifter

          Best Christmas song ever – "Back Door Santa" by Clarence Carter. "I Still Get That Old Time Feeling for You" is probably his best work, however.

  5. Texan_Bulldog

    New movie idea: Brokeback Desert

    And what's poor Whitney done to deserve being pictured next to this asshole?

    1. chascates

      If they hadn't died Telly Savalas could play the sheriff and Catinflas could play Jose.

      As it is we'll have Howie Mandel and Erik Estrada.

      1. Gainsbourg69

        I watched a marathon of Cantinflas films just last week. His films are funnier the more you watch them.

    2. NYNYNYjr

      This would be an awesome movie. Ed Harris…that kid from Motorcycle diaries? Bruce Willis and Ricky Martin? Oh my God….cool movie.

  6. HarryButtle

    I'm curious…no, not about self-loathing closeted Republitards, they're easy to figure out!

    But why is Whitney Houston in that Blingee? Was she a gay Latino man? Or a Sheriff?

      1. WunkRocker

        But dammit. Service in the Sheriff's Orifice, that should be a (blow)jerb for a U.S. American homo. Just another fucking republican shipping our (blow)jerbs over the borderline…seems like I going to lose my mind…keep pushing me…keep pushing me..

  7. ttommyunger

    " secretly “wanted to harm me,” ….If, by harm, he means run a hot messican hard-on up his ass and down his throat continuously. What a phony dickwad!

  8. chicken_thief

    Babeu, I need your lovin',
    got to have all your lovin',

    Babeu, I need your lovin'
    got to have all your lovin'
    'cause I'm Messican and ain't got no green card, ….

          1. Swampgas_Man

            Apparently they broke up when Jose washed Baboo's tighty-whities w/ dark colors. Laundry Revenge!

        1. chicken_thief

          WTF, could that bathroom be any smaller?! They need to up the Sheriff's salary so he can get a double wide.

  9. edgydrifter

    The first rule of Undocumented Mexican Down-Low Sexytime Club is: Don't get in the middle of a public deportation case against your undocumented Mexican down-low sexytime partner.

  10. Generation[redacted]

    Hard-nosed sheriff and illegal immigrant? I think this couple is taking the sexytime role playing a wee bit too far.

  11. HarryButtle

    Actually, he learned this technique from Sheriff Joe. The trick is to immediately attack your enemies with all the faux indignation and dismissive scorn you can conjure up and take your case to all the friendly media-types. Regardless of what you've done, the story is always about how you've been treated unfairly and that THEY are out to get you.

    It doesn't really fool anybody, but it gives your supporters a life preserver to hang on to as they try to forget and/or justify whatever God-awful thing you've just done.

    1. tessiee

      "Regardless of what you've done, the story is always about how you've been treated unfairly and that THEY are out to get you."

      And just when I'd succeeded in forgetting all about Grifterella.

  12. prommie

    So I guess this guy is the proof that the Mexicans come here to do the jobs that Americans don't want to do.

  13. freakishlywrong

    This is so delish. And this shitbird is still running, convinced that his hatriotism will get him elected. He's gonna learn a thing or two about conservative hate. It does NOT swing both ways. Just hate ONE way, towards everyone not like them.

  14. widestanceromance

    The first time I saw a pic of Babeu, circa "dang fence era," my thought was, "either she's got a little sugar in her, or I'll be happy to put some in her."

  15. Baconzgood

    Wait a gay man fucking a Mexican…..Doesn't that make him a Liberal by default? Can Baconz get a ruling on this one?

  16. Biel_ze_Bubba

    This is very bad news for messican illegals. We sort of looked the other way, because nobody here wanted to pick fucking lettuce for 10 hours a day. But when people find out that gay illegals are doing web site design? The santorum's really gonna hit the fan now.

    1. chicken_thief

      Agreed! Thanks to Babeu, Arizona will now probably pass some draconian fucking "papers, please" l….. what?! Never mind…

  17. actor212

    PROTIP: If your elected official has killer abs, tattoos and a shaved head, the likelihood he is sexting a shame-laden relationship hovers around 100%

    1. Gunner Asch

      C'mon, let's not be hating on the shaved head thing. I do that too, else I look like my barber is Friar Tuck.

  18. Oblios_Cap

    Recently outed gay Arizona sheriff Paul Babeu has some hot relationship tips about his longtime gay partner “Jose

    I'm sure they're keen and pentrating insights.

  19. MinAgain

    I have to wonder about the power dynamics in that relationship. And then I have to go scrub my brain with bleach.

      1. WunkRocker

        I've hired some kid outside of the Nike factory in Central Shitfuckistan to let prommie's comment bugger him. Best 19 cents I ever spent.

  20. Native_of_SL_UT

    You know the ol' standby "dead girl/live boy" scandals were getting a little stale so this amping it up with the illegal immigrant slant is really refreshing.

  21. Dashboard Shmoo

    Has it happened yet? The argument about how if gay marriage is legalized, thousand of brown skinned homosexuals will flood across our border so they could get citizenship through marriage?

    1. Fare la Volpe

      Mexico City already offers gay marriage.

      Why else do you think all those frat bros head down to "Cancun" for spring break?

  22. tessiee

    "Jose somehow secretly “wanted to harm me,”"

    Or, instead of Jose, most people who had ever met Babboo.

  23. upthruster

    The attentive listener will notice the underlying response to Blitzkreig's relationship question is since he's always working 7 days a week, he only has time for nooners and late night quickies in the squad car. That will be good practice for working conditions in congress.

  24. paris biltong

    Why does he keep grabbing his thigh? Or is he grabbing something else that hangs way down in his pants. Show-off!

  25. An_Outhouse

    What does a repug got to do to get fired around here? Gay Sheriff banging an illegal immigrant and its a-okay? WTF?

  26. 738838

    Weird connection, but up here in Western Mass, the story is out that Babeu received a settlement from the Catholic Church because he was serially molested by …… you guessed it….. a priest. Sad. (masslive.com)

  27. BornInATrailer

    I must have missed it because, with two posts on the gay southwestern sheriff, I cannot believe there hasn't been a "The sheriff is queer!" Blazing Saddles comment.

  28. poorgradstudent

    Let me say that, while Wonkette's blingees never fail to at least amuse me, this one had me in tears of joy and schadenfreude.

  29. mavenmaven

    "…then threatening to bomb them for being upset about being bullied, while f—ing them in the @$$". There, fixed.

  30. Negropolis

    The best part of the story isn't the Mexican lover, but rather that Babeu is apparently a total, greedy slut of a man trying to bone every Tom, Dick and Hairy.

    You see what I did there?

Comments are closed.