Recently outed gay Arizona sheriff Paul Babeu has some hot relationship tips about his longtime gay partner “Jose,” who was also a trusted political consultant for Babeu and even designed all of Babeu’s congressional campaign websites: Jose somehow secretly “wanted to harm me,” Babeu told CNN on Monday. If true, this follows the typical Republican foreign policy of bullying people from other countries and then threatening to bomb them for being upset about being bullied.
But in the case of Jose, Sheriff Babeu threatened to deport his longtime gay lover — the Arizona version of a nuclear bomb. Here are two terribly awkward terrible people talking about this:
The important thing is that when a comical hypocrite Republican is caught with his pants down — and with a gay lover, and that gay lover is also a Mexican national and the comical hypocrite Republican has built his whole sick career on bashing Mexican immigrants — it must mean there is some conspiracy when the media and the nation say “haw haw.” Blingee art by Princess Sparkle Pony. [CNN/Politico]
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I shot inside the Sherrif….
Too soon?
There are pills for that.
but I did not kill his Mexican gay lover illegal immigrant deputy.
Barb:
Omar?
I misspelled SHERIFF. Pain meds! I blew it like a Mexican national.
Omar Sharif?
Sharif don't like it.
Barb, adorable kitten and pain meds aside, I just got back from an appointment and am hysterically laughing my butt off. (If only)).
I am trying this new thing where I don't take the pain meds. It takes me about an hour to remember why they gave them to me in the first place, lol. Then I take them and my baby booty knitting looks like it was done by a spider on Xanax. I am somewhat useless right now.
Thanks for being sweet and forgiving me. xo
Barb, if the pain meds are going to be a permanent thing, you may reach the point where being lucid and in pain is preferable to being stupid. My brother was eating literally dozens of oxycontin a day (no he's not a Republican), but got so tired of being in fog he quit. Cold turkey. So it can be done.
I saw what you did there.
…but I did not blow the Deputy….
ttommy, how come it was funnier the second time you posted it? Perfecting your delivery?
It was a technique often used by Henny Youngman, repeating the punchline, works, when the timing is right.
And continued to this day by Jay Leno.
We try. What is life without laughter? I suspected the first post's author was making a cute point, but might have been too young to have actually heard the song I tried to reference in my comment. Glad you got it, but you realize it prolly ID's you as an old.
Imma think sweet Babeau is a pitcher, not a catcher.
…and he also did the dep-u-ty.
"Jose can you see?"
my flag pole?
"Who moved my taco?"
~ Sheriff Paul "Sweet" Babeu
Yo quiero mucho mi amor Sherrif! Wow this guy made a run for the border his gun shootin' buddies didn't see coming. Maybe he can make a guest appearance on "Reno 911"
Str8 acting!
Yeah well, they're not fooling anyone.
Please.
The handcuffs on his belt are just a cry for attention.
Also, dildo tazer.
Wait, is that a thing? Can it be? We would make a fucking fortune with a product like that!
I can picture the slogan now: "Dildo Taser – Put the Spark Back into Your Love Life"
Well I saw a site from some local sf chick who mentioned electrified butt-plugs, so I am sure it is, but is it patented and trademarked etc? I dunnoSent from my iPhone
The media is turning all our manly sheriffs gay!
And here I thought it was the illegal Messicans what were turnin' us all ghey! Its a conspiracy between 'em I tells ya, also. Too.
I blame the Village People costume he goes around wearing. SOOOOOO GAY!
Apparently, illegal aliens arn't cool unless you are fucking them in the ass. Who knew?
Who knew you could trade Santorum for a green card?
And, obvs, even illigal Messicuns dig a man in uniform.
You Babe to BabeU to Babelube for Dummies
Talk about a 'love-hate' relationship with Mexico!
Or, Love, South of the Border.
South of the Border? Pedro no le hace gracia!
Man, that's almost the Hispanic version of AmosAndAndyland!
True 'nuff. On the bright side, though… fireworks and tequila!
I know, who can believe it's in South Carolina?
Sheriff Babeu's explanations are coming fast and furious.
Apparently, so was Jose.
fast and furious. . .making Babeu the real wetback.
C'mon, give the Mexi-Gay-Bashing sheriff some credit for at least keeping it out of the airport bathrooms, 'k?
Postura amplia, no!
And, apparently, over the age of consent. Priests, take notice!
Now you know why they closed the restrooms along the Arizona highway rest stops. What, you thought that business about budget cuts was the real reason?
Heeey, Babeu, what's inside your pic-a-nic basket?
A shitload of Santorum?
I don't think the ranger is gonna like this, Yogi…
He's definately not smarter than the average Sheriff.
You just know this guy is a bossy bottom.
I love that expression, mainly because ,if I were a gay man, that is what I would be.
Join us. We have jackets.
Awesome!
Dinner or sport?
I believe him and think there's just something about this Sheriff guy, because I TOTALLY wanna hurt him too.
Deporting your illegal immigrant boyfriend? And here I thought showing my "I Only Sleep With Democrats" button to scare off asshole hedge fund boyfriends was inspired.
Thus denying yourself the chance to become a rich asshole's kept woman; what a missed opportunity.
I've met a few of those guys and their concubines. Those gals earn every penny, believe me.
Especially if they end up looking like Callista Gingrich; ick.
I'm one of those crazy ladies who actually expects her bf/husband to respect her. And I don't want to worry if I gain 5 lbs that I'll be kicked out on my ass.
Having been acquainted with the folks on both sides of the aisle, I can safely say that none of them are any fantastic bargain. The gals are vapid whores, and the guys are narcissistic assholes who would step over the dying bodies of ten terrific women to be with Barbie (and don't worry, they cheat on her, too). In one of those rare instances of justice in real life, they deserve each other.
tessiee:
I think it was W. Somerset Maugham who wrote that the trouble with marrying for money was that most people didn't want to work that hard.
I tell my kids, "Marry for money; you can find love anywhere, but money is hard to come by."
Only Democrats? You mean us Socialists are out of luck?
You have to come in the back door.
You crack up, you!!!
Best Christmas song ever – "Back Door Santa" by Clarence Carter. "I Still Get That Old Time Feeling for You" is probably his best work, however.
New movie idea: Brokeback Desert
And what's poor Whitney done to deserve being pictured next to this asshole?
If they hadn't died Telly Savalas could play the sheriff and Catinflas could play Jose.
As it is we'll have Howie Mandel and Erik Estrada.
How much do I love you for the Cantinflas reference?
I watched a marathon of Cantinflas films just last week. His films are funnier the more you watch them.
It's okay. She's with her career now.
So much win in that.
This would be an awesome movie. Ed Harris…that kid from Motorcycle diaries? Bruce Willis and Ricky Martin? Oh my God….cool movie.
I'm curious…no, not about self-loathing closeted Republitards, they're easy to figure out!
But why is Whitney Houston in that Blingee? Was she a gay Latino man? Or a Sheriff?
Rumors had it…
HB:
Perhaps she pushed aside Diana Ross as the idol of gay boys' affection.
"I love service." Mmmhmm.
"Service in the Sheriff's Office?" Oh my.
'To Protect and To Serve'
But dammit. Service in the Sheriff's Orifice, that should be a (blow)jerb for a U.S. American homo. Just another fucking republican shipping our (blow)jerbs over the borderline…seems like I going to lose my mind…keep pushing me…keep pushing me..
" secretly “wanted to harm me,” ….If, by harm, he means run a hot messican hard-on up his ass and down his throat continuously. What a phony dickwad!
"up his ass and down his throat continuously"
And in that chronological order, please.
Babeu wishes everybody Happiness and Piece.
"Happiness and Piece."
That's spelled "a penis and piece".
Babeu, I need your lovin',
got to have all your lovin',
Babeu, I need your lovin'
got to have all your lovin'
'cause I'm Messican and ain't got no green card, ….
I'm just glad our editors didn't go with the Sheriff's underwear pic that's out there.
Link or it didn't happen.
OK, but don't say I didn't warn you.
https://encrypted-tbn2.google.com/images?q=tbn:AN...
Why am I not surprised that he has one of those god awful "tribal" tats?
But I will bet it doesn't go under his arm… 'cuz that would hurt.
Oh those hideous tats were no surprise at all. The tightie – grayies? – were though.
Not as bad as something Shorts would have come up with.
For which I thank you.
Gray briefs? How very 1990's lesbian of him.
Apparently they broke up when Jose washed Baboo's tighty-whities w/ dark colors. Laundry Revenge!
WTF, could that bathroom be any smaller?! They need to up the Sheriff's salary so he can get a double wide.
The first rule of Undocumented Mexican Down-Low Sexytime Club is: Don't get in the middle of a public deportation case against your undocumented Mexican down-low sexytime partner.
The greatest love of all
Is easy to deport
Dating an Illegal Alien
It is the greatest love of all
I thought Babeu was deported to Pakistan…
Wasn't Babar French?
Wasn't Babue that Uzbeki witch that lives in the house with chicken legs?
Hard-nosed sheriff and illegal immigrant? I think this couple is taking the sexytime role playing a wee bit too far.
Did Babeu play the good cop role or the bad cop role?
He played the wee bit.
Yes.
So how long before the other shoe drops about Sheriff Babeu and Todd Palin?
Do they give a Pulitzer for blingees? Cuz Princess Sparkle Pony so deserves one.
Actually, he learned this technique from Sheriff Joe. The trick is to immediately attack your enemies with all the faux indignation and dismissive scorn you can conjure up and take your case to all the friendly media-types. Regardless of what you've done, the story is always about how you've been treated unfairly and that THEY are out to get you.
It doesn't really fool anybody, but it gives your supporters a life preserver to hang on to as they try to forget and/or justify whatever God-awful thing you've just done.
"Regardless of what you've done, the story is always about how you've been treated unfairly and that THEY are out to get you."
And just when I'd succeeded in forgetting all about Grifterella.
So I guess this guy is the proof that the Mexicans come here to do the jobs that Americans don't want to do.
I find this comment very easy to masturbate to.
Gotta run for the border but here's an alternative graphic:
http://ecx.images-amazon.com/images/I/61udgqPeMdL...
Is he saying that Jose was the Candidate's Manchurian Mexican?
Instead of the Queen of Diamonds you just show him the Ace of Spades.
Great. Now the Mexicans are taking all our gay buttsex too. Build the danged fence already!
Dey took our blow jerbs!
I think we finally found that new candidate the Repugs are looking for!
Arizona: We fuck illegal aliens, literally!
So Mexicans are bad unless they slip you some of that forbidden hot chorizo while south of your border.
Babeu? We don't need no stinkin' Babeu! (I bet some used that one already. Just busy here.)
This is so delish. And this shitbird is still running, convinced that his hatriotism will get him elected. He's gonna learn a thing or two about conservative hate. It does NOT swing both ways. Just hate ONE way, towards everyone not like them.
They'll support him, to prove they're not bigots.
So Rick Scott is a gay sheriff in Arizona?
That's IT! I knew he reminded me of another hypocritical asshole!
The first time I saw a pic of Babeu, circa "dang fence era," my thought was, "either she's got a little sugar in her, or I'll be happy to put some in her."
Wait a gay man fucking a Mexican…..Doesn't that make him a Liberal by default? Can Baconz get a ruling on this one?
In this case, there's fuck and there's FUCK. You're going to have to be more precise.
This is quite a dilemma for the Tea Baggers. Do they hate Mexicans or Gays more?
It also explains why Arpaio put them in Pink Jumpsuits.
So that's what they mean when they say "To Protect and Serve."
Republicans think using protection is an assault on their family values.
In this case, the protection was using the Mexican.
No fetii were harmed in the making of this film.
This is very bad news for messican illegals. We sort of looked the other way, because nobody here wanted to pick fucking lettuce for 10 hours a day. But when people find out that gay illegals are doing web site design? The santorum's really gonna hit the fan now.
Agreed! Thanks to Babeu, Arizona will now probably pass some draconian fucking "papers, please" l….. what?! Never mind…
Pedro says……
Get your tank filled at SOUTH OF THE BORDER!
PROTIP: If your elected official has killer abs, tattoos and a shaved head, the likelihood he is sexting a shame-laden relationship hovers around 100%
C'mon, let's not be hating on the shaved head thing. I do that too, else I look like my barber is Friar Tuck.
I shave too! Both heads, but that's not important right now.
Until now I didn't realize I could cross my legs into a double knot.
Cat-fight at the O.K. corral.
So I'm the first to say it?
BABEAULOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
(see also: Babeau Booie!)
Ya beat me! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rAV3bOJaQuY
Mexican asshat dance anyone?
Baba Louie needs to see Marcus Bachmann and get his gay prayed away. It only takes two days, I hear.
Marcus doesn't have the energy of his younger years when it took two weeks?
Recently outed gay Arizona sheriff Paul Babeu has some hot relationship tips about his longtime gay partner “Jose
I'm sure they're keen and pentrating insights.
Why just the tips? I would think he'd enjoy the whole thing.
Mexicans come in, Mexicans come out. He can't explain it.
I have to wonder about the power dynamics in that relationship. And then I have to go scrub my brain with bleach.
Enough wetbacks for the Sherriff!
I often feel that way about myself.
Don't worry, I've been assured that that comment blows.
Hands down, no doubt.
I've hired some kid outside of the Nike factory in Central Shitfuckistan to let prommie's comment bugger him. Best 19 cents I ever spent.
Jerb creator!
When you sell guns to the Injuns,don't be suprised whe they shoot your ass.(or in your ass)
-José? Qué José?
-El que te culeó y se fué!
He came out too early.
The Sheriff was shocked, shocked to discover that the guy blowing him was gay!
I know the Onion did a spoof of this, years ago.
What can brown do for you? Quite alot, apparently.
I'ma thinkin that the "Sheriff" outfit will be real popular this Halloween in San Fran.
You know the ol' standby "dead girl/live boy" scandals were getting a little stale so this amping it up with the illegal immigrant slant is really refreshing.
"To Penetrate and Squirt" it says on the side of his car.
Is my home-girl Whitney in the picture because Jose is "savin all his love for Babboooooo"?
Has it happened yet? The argument about how if gay marriage is legalized, thousand of brown skinned homosexuals will flood across our border so they could get citizenship through marriage?
Mexico City already offers gay marriage.
Why else do you think all those frat bros head down to "Cancun" for spring break?
I did not know that. Amazing stuff.—
"Jose somehow secretly “wanted to harm me,”"
Or, instead of Jose, most people who had ever met Babboo.
The attentive listener will notice the underlying response to Blitzkreig's relationship question is since he's always working 7 days a week, he only has time for nooners and late night quickies in the squad car. That will be good practice for working conditions in congress.
Pages, you are hereby on notice!
Why does he keep grabbing his thigh? Or is he grabbing something else that hangs way down in his pants. Show-off!
What does a repug got to do to get fired around here? Gay Sheriff banging an illegal immigrant and its a-okay? WTF?
Anchor Boner?
The sexual tension in that interview was overwhelming. Get a room, guys.
Come on already!
Babeu is breaking history, you guys: He's the first openly closeted man to ever run for office!
Must've been a lovers spat…or his lover spat
Weird connection, but up here in Western Mass, the story is out that Babeu received a settlement from the Catholic Church because he was serially molested by …… you guessed it….. a priest. Sad. (masslive.com)
Was it a Messican priest
Richard Lavigne. Not sure, maybe French Canadian
I must have missed it because, with two posts on the gay southwestern sheriff, I cannot believe there hasn't been a "The sheriff is queer!" Blazing Saddles comment.
Let me say that, while Wonkette's blingees never fail to at least amuse me, this one had me in tears of joy and schadenfreude.
"…then threatening to bomb them for being upset about being bullied, while f—ing them in the @$$". There, fixed.
awkward!
princess sparkle pony has been missed over here.
The best part of the story isn't the Mexican lover, but rather that Babeu is apparently a total, greedy slut of a man trying to bone every Tom, Dick and Hairy.
You see what I did there?
I very much appreciate what you just said, thanks. Lucid is the way to go. Jeff just called from work and said that he thinks he just ruptured his eardrum. I am going to get dressed and take him to the ER now.
Oh god, hope he's OK; we're thinking of you two.
Oh no! Take care and hopefully he's okay. You two definitely deserve several pain free days.
And it appears he bunched up his tightie-cloudies to make them look like a thong. Weird.
They're military issue briefs.
…Don't ask.
And Paulie Walnuts:
[tells joke]
You hear what I said there?
*elbow nudge*
I said, [retells entire joke verbatim]
Yeah, but its never funny, when Leno does it.
And I blame you for directing me to that picture; now I can't unsee it.
As they say, 'misery loves company'
Can you believe Jeff has strep throat and they are testing him for a staph infection? I'm going to go lie down with him and I'll be back tomorrow.
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