new poll proves it

Mere 1% of Americans Can Correctly Identify Nation’s Top Global Enemy

You can't see it, but he's wearing a tutu.

Favored pick “Iran” won this season’s Gallup poll for “America’s Top Enemy” by its highest-ever margin, wow! A full third of Americans picked Iran as their most dreaded bogeyman this year (up from a quarter last year) for, eh, some sort of reason. Perhaps a follow-up “why” question might have been interesting or informative here, pollsters? Nope. Gallup cheated and filled in the essay section on its own without Americans’ help, as may be noted from the conspicuous lack of JEE-HAD and TERRORIZM mentions in their concluding analysis to explain Iran’s ongoing dominance in this award category: “Iran’s continued public announcements of its growing nuclear capabilities, its threats of war with U.S. ally Israel, and the possibility that Iran could disrupt the flow of oil out of the Middle East and further affect domestic oil and gas prices no doubt all contribute to Americans’ negative views of the country.” Hm. Well to be fair, by this logic that we ought to freak out over the country that’s doing the best job of constantly threatening new wars and buying scary new weapons and driving up oil prices, the nation that Americans should really fear most is, ha ha, their own. So what percentage of Americans managed to arrive at this conclusion? (HINT: the headline gives it away.)

There it is, down there at the bottom, mysteriously tied with, uh, Japan:

(Are you really allowed to name China as your “top enemy” when the cell phone you used to take the pollster’s call was built there?)

Anyhow, the important thing to remember here at all times is that it is ALL IRAN’S FAULT, GRRR that all the gas prices are so high these days, via Bloomberg:

Strangely, the current run-up in prices comes despite sinking demand in the U.S. “Petrol demand is as low as it’s been since April 1997,” says Tom Kloza, chief oil analyst for the Oil Price Information Service. “People are properly puzzled by the fact that we’re using less gas than we have in years, yet we’re paying more.”

Kloza believes much of the increase is due to speculative money that’s flowed into gasoline futures contracts since the beginning of the year, mostly from hedge funds and large money managers. “We’ve seen about $11 billion of speculative money come in on the long side of gas futures,” he says. “Each of the last three weeks we’ve seen a record net long position being taken.”

Yeah. [Gallup/Bloomberg]

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    1. Steverino247

      The CSA was not a country. It was a confederation of states in rebellion against the Federal Government of the United States of America. No foreign government recognized then as a country.

      1. JustPixelz

        "… in rebellion against the Federal Government…"

        Today they call themselves "The Tea Party".

        Today Repubicans call #OWS "class warfare".

        Today we call that "treason".

        1. Steverino247

          Plus, they should have known better than to fuck with Abe "Vampire Killer" Lincoln.

          (Who writes this shit?)

      1. Fare la Volpe

        It reclines there on his lip, mocking you, enticing your fist to obliterate it. No amount of punching will ever destroy me, it calls. That may be true, you reply, but I'm still going to try my damnedest.

      2. tessiee

        A cranky old guy whose name escapes me at the moment has (or used to have) his own website where he ranted about politics. He customarily referred to John Bolton as "mustache on his ass", which never failed to make me laugh.

      1. Chet Kincaid

        The Mustache Of Insanity and The Mustache Of Understanding need to have a Sunday morning show together, sponsored by AstraZeneca's portfolio of high blood pressure medications.

    1. HempDogbane

      He did. Bolton is President-elect Gingrich's choice to head the Department of State, though he may have already backed out. I picture him in Condi's black boots.

    1. Loaded_Pants

      I'm now the single old guy down the road who used to dress his chihuahuas in little outfits & take them for walks?

      1. Jukesgrrl

        When I was a kid there was a guy on my street who used to sit in his car parked in the driveway every evening reading the newspaper until it got too dark for him to see. I think of that guy often. I get him now.

    1. SorosBot

      No, the line is "Joe McCarthy, Richard Nixon, Studebaker, television, North Korea, South Korea, Marilyn Monroe"

    2. cheaphits

      Notice how the country we are actively and publicly fighting in (Afghanistan), didn't even make the top three on the list?

      What up with that? For $687 billion we should expect more.

      1. Mumbly_Joe

        To be fair, we're at war with a stateless group in the frontiers of Afghanistan, not nation of Afghanistan per se. And have been for 8 years now. It's almost as though that's the sort of war we suck at.

  1. north_of_moscow

    Headline: Majority of Americans identify top enemy as that whore Brenda in accounts receivable

      1. flamingpdog

        I assume you never worked in the Bush White House, where all the other employees were named* "That Asshole" or "That Bitch".

        *and rightfully so

        1. Crank_Tango

          Speaking of which, where is Dana Perino these days? MMMMMM now SHE was one hot ice princess of a bitch.

      2. finallyhappy

        Jason, is that you? How is the bitch? So glad I don't work there anymore. I heard the Asshole retired last year.

    1. tessiee

      That BITCH!!
      I worked with her at the Gift Wrap counter for the Christmas rush, and she was always ripping my paper!

    2. horsedreamer_1

      Herbert Kornfeld may be dead, but that is no reason to go slandering the Accountzz Receevable Brotherhood.

      Instead, take aim at that old ass geezer Myron Schabe. You know that hater has some worthless tricks under him in Accountzz Payabo.

  2. Antispandex

    The number one threat in America is BEARS! I saw it on TeeVee. Oh, and moose. You have to shoot them from helicopters. Also.

      1. fuflans

        who knows? trying to find a comment in that thread is like trying to find a butter knife in a hoarder's basement.

        i wanted to respond to mittbot and spent like a day in there. scary.

  3. Rotundo_

    I thought our greatest threat was idiots starting wars on false pretenses and hiring assholes with white mustaches that needed to be beaten senseless or beyond with a baseball bat. Of course I could be wrong about that.

    1. Chichikovovich

      No, no, the person you're talking about is America's greatest Commander-in-Chief hero fighter pilot ever. Or was. Until three years ago when all of a sudden he ceased to exist.

    1. Loaded_Pants

      In response to the poll, Sarah posted on fb: "This clearly shows why we need to build a fence between Iran & America."

    2. chicken_thief

      I wondered when someone was gonna get their head outta their ass and correctly identify geyh Messicuns cramming their Sharia logs down our throats as the greatest threat to the frredums and liberties we enjoy in America, where real Americans treasure the American Americanism we proudly adopted as American!!!

      And plug the danged glory holes!!!

        1. Loaded_Pants

          It was a poll of cuntries but not cunties.

          (I know that's kinda weak but I'm hopped up on cold meds, some nice ale, & have insomnia).

      1. JustPixelz

        He acts like a government unto himself. Using the Constitution to wipe his ass while talking about "higher powers" whose laws only he is able to interpret.

  4. SoBeach

    And 75% of the 32% who picked Iran would have a 25% chance of correctly locating that country on a globe with 98% of the incorrect countries labelled "Not This One".

  5. C_R_Eature

    This survey's bullshit. I don't see either Texas orArizona!

    What? They're not still part of us, are they?

  6. tcaalaw

    Aren't we overdue for a John Bolton gay sex scandal by this point? I mean, imagine him in Magnum P.I. short-shorts. The pieces all come together at that point really.

    1. Crank_Tango

      Let's keep in mind that you just imagined John Bolton in "Magnum P.I. short-shorts" — I think we need to get you somewhere quiet now, where you can get the help that you need…

    2. tessiee

      "I mean, imagine him in Magnum P.I. short-shorts."

      No, no!
      I can't! I WON'T!! And you can't make me!!!

    3. valthemus

      Start canvassing the local rent boys. I can't imagine anyone would even *think* of doing Mr. Walrus Hair-helmet without the promise of a hefty payment after.

    4. HogeyeGrex

      I mean, imagine him in Magnum P.I. short-shorts.

      Wellp. So much for lunch.

      For the rest of the week.

  7. JackObin

    It seems to me this nation's top enemy is obesity. Stupidity and poor taste are nipping at its heels.

      1. tessiee

        Everybody knows that whore diamonds from Tiffany's help to make the season bright.
        People who are doing coke with Duhbya will find it hard to sleep tonight.

  8. hagajim

    I sincerely believe the nation of stupidity (us) is once again our biggest threat. Morons do moronic things to screw their own lives up…now doesn't that sound just like us?

    1. SorosBot

      "Rick Santorum spoke to an overflow audience at the giant First Redeemer Church in Cumming"

      Overflow; even better.

  9. An_Outhouse

    "Petrol demand is as low as it’s been since April 1997,"

    No American says 'petrol'. Deport the furriner!

    1. mayor_quimby

      I don't know about you, but my V-6 don't run on no pussy-ass petrol, strictly Gas-O-Leen…… Pussy!

  10. DrOzarkZ.Hellbender

    Internal enemies Stabbing Us In The Back!!!!! are our greatest threat, according to Free Republic.

  11. Chichikovovich

    I have a feeling it took some creative bookkeeping to get the number down to $687 billion. Maybe: VA doesn't count, veterans pensions don't count,… Not sure exactly what the precise hidden costs were, but I'm sure there were a lot of them.

  12. johnnyzhivago

    Our #1 enemy is warmongering Canada. We need to invade Canada, kill its leaders and convert them back to the English system.

    Our #2 enemy is the fricking script running on this page that keeps sending my browser window back to bejesus every time I enter a fucking comment.

  13. Chichikovovich

    What? Nobody picked "Loss of Essence", or "Threats to precious bodily fluids"? Was there a huge Tea Party convention out of communications range when this poll was taken?

          1. Ruhe

            True story: While waiting for a haircut once in Chicago the old guy in the chair ahead of me was ranting that we had no idea what might have happened to Clinton (this was '94) while he was over in Russia as a student. "They coulda planted one of them chip things in his head." "Yup" was the old barber's sage reply.

          2. Jukesgrrl

            I love theories like that.I once overheard a rider on a bus in Pittsburgh pontificate to a group that had boarded at the homeless shelter.She was patiently explaining to them (and they were listening) that George Bush was merely a puppet president, it was actually the all-knowing person she referred to as “Bald Ari” who was running the country.”Bald Ari knows everything.You listen to him when he talks on TV,” she admonished.I've often wondered how she coped when Fleischer (aka The Great and Powerful Oz) resigned.

    1. Goonemeritus

      The only answer is to stock a bunker for a decade or two and populate it with a favorable man to women ratio. Eventually it will all blow over and we can reemerge spent but secure.

      1. Chichikovovich

        This "favorable male-female ratio" you're speaking of. Now, wouldn't that necessitate the abandonment of the so-called monogamous sexual relationship, I mean, as far as men were concerned?

    2. Ultra_C

      Personnally, I tried to pick Planned Parenthood (after all, they've killed tens of millions of Americans), but it wasn't on the list. so instead I picked the most anti-woman, anti-homosexual, anti-secular humanist, anti-atheist country in world history (Iran).

  14. Boojum_Reborn

    The greatest enemy we have, after diabetes, is the Slant Eyed Vegetable Prop Monster, whose name automatically deletes comments. First Amendment libel!!!

  15. poncho_pilot

    whatever, America. you go to war with the exaggeratedly threatening foreign countries you have–not the exaggeratedly threatening foreign countries you might want or wish to have at a later time.

    pace yourself–save those countries for the second term.

    1. chascates

      By the end of President Gingrich's second term, he will have defeated Togo, Luxemburg, and Greenland.

      1. Chichikovovich

        And as a result of the elimination of corporate, capitol gains and estate taxes, the elimination of taxes on all income above $200,000 along with quintupled military spending, the country experienced a complete financial collapse and was bought in a hostile takeover by a partnership of the Cayman Islands, Switzerland and Monaco.

      2. flamingpdog

        Well, it'll be about time we defeat Greenland! According to the most reliable reference after Wikipedia – Uncle John's Bathroom Reader – the US offered Denmark 100 million dollars for Greenland right after World War II, but the Danes never answered.

  16. C_R_Eature

    America's True Enemy are all those Foreigners. The ones that came here 300+ years ago.

    They ate all the Passenger Pigeons, dammit!

  17. chascates

    Maybe the battle over birth control should be fought in other countries, since they're reproducing faster than we can kill them off.

    1. Harry_S_Truman

      Hey, sometimes you have to go to war with the greatest enemies you have, not the greatest enemies you wish you had.

    2. SorosBot

      The Soviet Union, now that was an enemy; they had the ability to completely blow us up. Nazi Germany took over almost all of Europe. And then there was the Confederacy, and the British Empire was the mightiest in the world at the time. Now we're supposed to shit our pants at a tiny Middle Eastern nation that has no capability to actually harm us? I think not.

        1. tessiee

          "they could maybe, I dunno ship it to us fedex"

          The only funny thing P.J. O'Rourke ever wrote was about the time he was walking home at night and almost got mugged — except the guy was across the street:
          Would be Mugger: Come over here and give me all your money!
          PJ: No! *keeps walking*

    1. Dudleydidwrong

      Grenada. We need to reinvade Grenada.

      Besides, we haven't lost a war to Grenada in, oh, a thousand years, give-or-take 900 or so.

  18. ttommyunger

    I would have to say Calista's cankles as number one; have you seen those suckers? She makes Hilary look like Jennifer Fucking Lopez, fer Chrissakes.

  19. fuflans

    Are you really allowed to name China as your “top enemy” when the cell phone you used to take the pollster’s call was built there?)

    ahem. people who take these surveys answer a landline phone.

    1. unclejeems

      Yes, but everything they're wearing at time, driving, or listening to was also made in China. People would have to go naked, walk, and sing their own songs if they really wanted to get rid of Chinese goods.

      Of course walking out naked in public while singing "Hotel California" would have its own set of diversions.

      1. tessiee

        I personally think that anybody, clothed or naked, in public or in private, who sings "Hotel California" should be subject to a horrible punishment including, but not limited to, being locked up in an empty room (i.e., with nothing to make earplugs out of) while "Hotel California" plays on a repeating loop.

  20. Harry_S_Truman

    I heard this straight from no less an expert than Newt Gingrich (and he's really smart); our biggest enemy is our own president. Can you even believe it?

  21. anniegetyerfun

    (Are you really allowed to name China as your “top enemy” when the cell phone you used to take the pollster’s call was built there?)

    Uh, yeah, since our cell phones are giving us all brain cancer.

  22. SorosBot

    We have nothing to fear but – well nothing actually; there are no foreign enemies that pose a credible threat to the United States, not when we're spending more on our military than the entire rest of the world combined.

      1. SorosBot

        Yes, we need the biggest military in history for when the moon Nazis attack; and also to prepare for the Dalek invasion of Earth in 2164!

  23. new_pic_for_NEWTer

    Hah, and so Canadiana will steal all of your essences and such like, while you are looking the other way – if you don't mind, eh?

    1. Negropolis

      We have not fogotten the War of 1812 here in Michigan, I tell you what.

      Damned Upper Canadians, the whole damned lot of them.

  24. arihaya

    " .. U.S. ally Israel, "

    hhahahs ahahaha,…. yeah because when US hunted Bin Laden in Afghanistan, or deposing Saddam in Iraq, or bombing Gadhafi in Libya, Israel totally send their best trained troops to fight in the front line with US Army

  25. SorosBot

    Of all the world's countries, the one that most threatens the United States is that horrible Red Sox Nation.

    1. mayor_quimby

      Somebody needs to push those miserable, horribly accented fucks back into the Atlantic once and for all.

    2. Dudleydidwrong

      Now you're getting personal, son. The Red Sox Nation is all that stands between us and a takeover by those weird Newfoundlanders. Newfies belong on the list of enemies and thank Jeebus for the Red Soxers!

  26. flamingpdog

    And 11 percent believe No Opinion is our top global enemy. Do they have nucular weapons or is that So Opinion?

  27. BarackMyWorld

    Meanwhile, in a secluded swamp, the Legion of Doom plots their latest scheme to defeat…the Superfriends…
    </announcer voice>

    1. flamingpdog

      Not to worry, she'll be coming out of the closet in another five years.

      I don't mean the lesbionic-type come out of the closet, I mean that's when Barry will let her out.

  28. GregComlish

    Oh Come on. The only reason people put down "The United States" is the biggest threat to the US is because they asked a bunch of Republicans and Gallup wouldn't let them put down "Obama".

  29. C_R_Eature


    When may we expect delivery of our Sampler bags of Drugs, Alcohol and Chocolate-Covered Dildos?

    Sincerely yours,

    The Wonkette Commentariat Weekend Staff

      1. C_R_Eature

        I don't believe TruckNutz were included in the original Incentive Agreement for the 2000+ weekend post. If a pair should happen to end up in my bag (heh, heh) however, I wouldn't mind.

    1. flamingpdog

      I know what Kirsten was doing this weekend while everybody at the Wonkette was on vacation, but I forgot to link to the pictures on Tumblr and now I can't find them. I know it was her because she had on a name tag that said, "Hello, my name is Kirsten". And nothing else.

    1. MadBrahms

      On the upside, Stephen Harper and his Conservative Party sure have shut up those smug Canadians who used to mock us for our poor choice in leadership!

      1. Chichikovovich

        Well, to be honest I haven't been in a big hurry to do that since the Mulroney régime. But at least Mulroney was awful in the way Canadian politicians often can be – fluent in the language of corruption in both French and English, tireless appointer of incompetent cronies to important jobs (that would then be done by the senior civil servant charged to keep the chaos from spreading), horrible judge of character of nominal chums (brought Lucien Bouchard into government and then looked on slack-jawed as Bouchard left his party and formed the separatist Bloc Québecois.), etc.

        Harper is awful in a different way – not incompetent or corrupt so much as relentlessly focused on destructive goals. Sort of a Bush lite, without a trillion-dollar army.

    2. SorosBot

      Blame Canada! Blame Canada!
      With all their beady little eyes
      And flapping heads so full of lies!
      Blame Canada! Blame Canada!
      We need to form a full assault,
      It's Canada's fault!

    3. Negropolis

      Really, Canada, you need an intervention. We need to get your off the (Keystone XL) pipe.

      More seriously, I've been very disappointed in how myopic Canada can be with its natural resources. I can't tell you how many so-called liberal Canadians I've had discussions with that get pissed when they hear people refer to the sands as "tar sands" as if it's any better if you call them oil sands. It's still one of the most environmentally destructive ways to produce energy the world has ever seen.

  30. MadBrahms

    Oh, we make fun, but just wait until the Chinese People's Liberation Army rolls in on their bicycles, with their yellow shirts and their gong sound effects. See who's laughing then.

    1. flamingpdog

      I for one will welcome our Chinese People's Liberation Army overlords if they will loot all the Chinese crap from all the WalMarts and take it home with them as their booty.

  31. tessiee

    With all the enemies America has, how can we determine which is the worst?
    If only one group were darker-skinned, or something.

  32. tessiee

    Iran is our worst enemy?
    So, that means it's 1979 and Raygun and his followers haven't totally trashed the economy?

    1. MadBrahms

      I move that anyone who advocates war with Iran must identify and properly pronounce the names of both the Supreme Leader and President before voting or making any policy suggestions.

      The same goes for China. Anyone who answers "Fu Manchu" is to be permanently exiled to Canada, forced to slave away in the poutine mines of Nunavut.

      1. tessiee

        Well, call me an old fussbudget, but I've always been mildly annoyed by people who think "Ayatollah Khomeini" is a person's name.
        "Ayatollah" is the title of a government ruler.
        "Khomeini" is a geographical grouping.
        Therefore, the Ayatolla Khomeni is the Ayatolla of Khomein, just like the Texan Governor is the Governor of Texas.
        The person who was notorious as the "Ayatollah Khomeini" in the 70s was actually named Ruholla Hendi.

        1. Chichikovovich

          Huh. I didn't know that. Thanks – that's quality "avoid looking stupid in the future" information right there.

      2. Negropolis

        The same goes for China. Anyone who answers "Fu Manchu" is to be permanently exiled to Canada, forced to slave away in the poutine mines of Nunavut.

        The poutine mines of Nunavut?! That would surely make you history's greatest monster. A poutine gulag is both cruel and unusual.

  33. JackDempsey1

    The answer is Mexico.
    They keep on sending in operatives to do our chores in order to erase our collective memories of routine household tasks. There isn't an American living who has more than a hazy understanding of how to mow a lawn or fold a bedsheet. We're heading over the cliff in an unwashed Chevy.

  34. not that Dewey

    I hate to ask such an obvious, naive question, but do we really need a Greatest Enemy? Does there have to be one? This is one of those "when did you stop beating your wife" questions, isn't it?

    1. C_R_Eature

      Well, we need one for the Distraction, obviously. That is precisely why we have always been at war with Eastasia.

  35. Negropolis

    You mean to tell me that a central Asian nation with a (real) unemployment rate upwards of 20-30% and a per capita GDP ranked around the 100th in the world is our greatest threat? Really, America? For reals, America?

    Really, I'm tired of this theater, and shame on our leaders, Democrats and Republicans, alike, that keep cynically deceiving us. They think we're that stupid…and they're probably right.

    1. Chichikovovich

      Totally. Don't they know that our true biggest threat is a Caribbean island with a basket case economy, and a land area smaller than most US states, upon which we've established a military base that they are powerless to do anything about?

      1. Negropolis

        The Cuban issue just blows my mind. Every country has their odd boogey men arch enemies – I mean, the whole Falkland thing looks pretty silly for both sides from an American perspective – but the reflexiveness toward Cuba is something else to behold. Vietnam was another one that looked like bad news from the very beginning, but looks absolutely horrible and astounding in its pettiness and unnecessity in hindsight.

        1. Chichikovovich

          Yes indeed. Among the many things that are staggering in retrospect is the fact {now, of course, down the memory hole} that the U.S. gave substantial financial and other support to Pol Pot and the Khmer Rouge for no other reason, apparently, than that they were opposed to the Vietnamese.Though I'm in no way a fan of Maggie T, I've always had a soft spot for her aggressive military response in the Falklands, since theembarrassing thrashing delivered to Argentina led directly to the downfall of the blood-soaked Junta (beloved by Jeanne Kirkpatrick) that had run the Dirty War.—

  36. Negropolis

    BTW, where is Kenya listed on this list? I'd have guessed it have been at least second, along with the nation of Hawaii and the socialist city-state of Chicago.

  37. imissopus

    Based on the movie trailers I saw on Saturday, I'm going with either Cobra or weird undersea robots that can shoot explosive Selectric typewriter wheels thousands of miles at our cities and military bases.

    1. flamingpdog

      Oooo, those puppies hurt when they get stuck and you end up popping them off into your face! Can't imagine what they'd be like being fired thousands of miles.

      Fortunately for my face, the office's last Selectric died about a year and a half ago.

  38. Negropolis

    Come on, you guys. As you know, you go to war with the enemy you have, not the enemy you might want or wish to have at a later time.

    1. flamingpdog

      I'm more afraid of Alaska. Maybe we could trade it to Denmark for Greenland and a case of beer to be named later.

  39. mayor_quimby

    Rick Froth is seriously untethered from facts when he's in front of a friendly audience – he knows how to stoke a sub-surface fear within his people so that when they hear anything remotely related they jump to the worst, craziest conclusion. It's very related to evangelical faith, you have to be prepared to receive the word, so to speak. When you hear that little dog whistle it confirms everything you have been told, and magnifies it.

  40. littlebigdaddy

    Obviously, our greatest enemy is Canada! Who else mocks us by having prosperity and universal health care coverage. And by inflicting hockey on us, when we have perfectly good sports of our own.

  41. elburritodeluxe

    We spend billions rebuilding Afghanistan and trying to wring out Taliban fighters there and 7% think were doing it because they're our enemy?

  42. ElPinche

    Like it or not, Barry Sotero will win in 2012 because the Cthulu Lizard Deity wants it that way. (check your Monster manuals or Fiend Folios on that one)
    In 2013, there will be War: America versus the Obama alien reptile. The worse part is that we'll have to go through Biden first. Who knows what those hairplugs really are.

  43. C_R_Eature


    (No, not Brietbart trolls – they're just assholes. the ones under the bridges. I'm running out of goats!)

  44. Smithboy

    There is a constant drumbeat for war presented by supporters of Israel here in the US and no opposing views are allowed. If you watch network news or the political sunday morning programs you will never hear an invited guest say…Iran has no nuclear weapons programs. Iran is a member of the AEIA…Israel is not.

    Write the white house and tell Obama to stand tall against Netanyahu and his henchment here in our own country.

  45. Chichikovovich

    With all this attention to Iran, everyone has forgotten The Duchy of Grand Fenwick.

    Which is when they are the most dangerous.

  46. paris biltong

    Greece. Greece is bringing down the whole financial house of cards and must be dealt with swiftly and mercilessly. Send the Marines!

    1. Negropolis

      Much like the Arab League and UN invitation to the party in Libya, we're only going into Greece if the EU and UN requests it. lol

    2. Dashboard Shmoo

      Not a bad idea, actually. US Military bases typically hire locals to do the scut work. Jerbs!

      Plus, Marines spend money like drunken sailors. Boostin' the economy!

  47. Negropolis

    OT: Just watching Morning Joe (I like it as a guilty pleasure in a bad car wreck kind of way), and they have that vile-assed Franklin Graham on playing the really "I don't know if Obama is a Chrisitian, you have to ask him" bullshit. Usually, this panel is a pro at tolerating this vileness, consummate villagers and bullshitters, themselves. This time, to my surprise, the entire panel calls BS on every shitty talking point he throws out. He goes on about how Mitt Romney's not a Christian, that Newt is a serial adulterer…but, somehow, theologically, both are better candidates than the Christian Obama. You should have saw them call his ass out, and how dumbfounded they were. They had Alex Wagner, Willie, John Heileman and Mike Barnacle on. It was a thing of strange beauty. You never see this kind of candidness on that show, or most cable news.

    It gave me some hope that maybe, just maybe, the beltway ass-kissers will do their job, this time, and just totally start calling the other sides' lies, for once. Who knows. I'm not holding my breath.

    1. Limeylizzie

      I watched that and the Twitter is all over it , I think they were good on MJ because Joe and Mika were absent and it became a watchable show.

      1. Negropolis

        Yeah, it does seem to be better when they are absent, which is ironic given the fact that they are given star billing. Joe's a bully, and Mika is, well…I don't quite know what she is when she's around Joe, but it's a very odd (and very annoying) character she plays.

        1. Limeylizzie

          I have started to watch Soledad's show on CNN and if I flip between that and MJ I find myself not quite so angry .

          1. Chet Kincaid

            Mika Milquetoast is a willing collaborator in Joe's insufferableness. I've seen articles that try to drum up sympathy about how he is "oppressing" her, but I suspect she could easily get another gig if she wanted.

    2. chascates

      I've wondered if Franklin is such a prick because the Graham brand is fading and he wants more publicity. Plus once Dad takes the Stairway to Heaven Frankie won't want to live in his shadow.

      The fact that he's an outrider for Sarah Palin shows his lack of long-term career planning.

    3. Smithboy

      my wife and I were cheering as they nailed Graham for setting the bar so high for Obama but not for serial divorce sex addict Newt Gingrch, Santorum and Mitt.

    4. tessiee

      "This time, to my surprise, the entire panel calls BS on every shitty talking point he throws out. …. It was a thing of strange beauty. You never see this kind of candidness on that show, or most cable news. … It gave me some hope that maybe, just maybe, the beltway ass-kissers will do their job, this time, and just totally start calling the other sides' lies, for once."

      We have St. Ronnie to thank for *that*, too. It got exponentially worse after 9/11 somehow magically made Bush not a moron, but Raygun was the first to promote the meme that it was bad form for journalists to ask questions.

  48. sewollef

    Underneath that sober/boring suit he always wears, is an ever so cute little leather Bavarian outfit, complete with studs and diamonds.

    One day he's gonna get hisself caught in Minneapolis airport restrooms, I'm telling ya.

  49. mermera

    Lt. Prince in its jet flyin' suit and Sick Rantorum with the white pointy hat. The collective poster ids for evil.

  50. Negropolis

    OT: Oh, boy:

    Former IMF head Dominique Strauss-Kahn has been detained for questioning by French police investigating a prostitution ring.

    Mr Strauss-Kahn, once a front-runner for the French presidency, could be held for 48 hours at a police station in Lille, northern France.

    Investigators have already questioned a number of prostitutes who have admitted having sex with Mr Strauss-Kahn.

    He insists he did not know that the women were prostitutes.

    "I challenge you to distinguish a naked prostitute from any other naked woman," his lawyer Henri Leclerc has told French television.

    Stay klassy, DSK. Apparently, the legal problem in this particular case isn't buying prostitutes, rather, that he bought them with company funds and bought them from a ring.

    1. Chichikovovich

      "I challenge you to distinguish a naked prostitute from any other naked woman,"

      I know! I know! Teacher, pick me, pick me!

      The (presumably well-compensated) naked prostitutes are the ones who are willing to have sex with that flabby old rapist goat.

  51. LiveToServeYa

    "To our friends, the Good Guys,
    and to our enemies, the Bad Guys,
    and to the hope that one day we'll be able to tell one from the other."
    – Toast from Keith Laumer novel

    1. tessiee

      "No one likes us, I don't know why
      We may not be perfect, but heaven knows we try
      But all around, even our old friends put us down
      Let's drop the big one and see what happens"

      — Randy Newman, "Let's Drop the Big One Now"

    1. chascates

      No rocks, just suck out money, blood, and public discourse for the next 5 years.

      7th Century for the win!

  52. DaRooster

    “People are properly puzzled by the fact that we’re using less gas than we have in years, yet we’re paying more.”


  53. Ruhe

    Acknowledging that your own nation is the greatest threat to world security in the world is the "record net long position" of all net long positions, no?

  54. prommie

    The single greatest threat to this nation today is the fact that Tom Hanks is still making movies. When he isn't hosting benefit events to commemorate the D-Day Astronauts.

      1. prommie

        Some movies are "bad" in the sense that they are not good, they fail to achieve goodness. Tom Hanks' movies are "bad" not because they are "not good," they are "bad" in the sense that they are intrinsically morally evil, a force for darkness and death and pain and pestilence in the world. They are the antithesis of "good," and thus its mortal enemy, and their existence is an excruciating insult to good people everywhere.

  55. BlueStateLibel

    So what's with our Wonkette overlords? 11:20 EST and still no new snark? "They" haven't started flying drones in the U.S. already, have they?

  56. proudgrampa

    I don't know who our worst enemy is, but I sure wish that the US would stop working so hard to make more.

  57. Ultra_C

    "the nation that Americans should really fear most is, ha ha, their own"

    I agree, but you forgot to add that the US government has murdered over 40 million children right here in America! How can we call ourselves "civilized" and pay rich white men millions of dollars to suck the brains out of unborn children?

    Thanks, Kirsten, for recognizing that the American Holocaust is real.

  58. Negropolis

    But, but sharing is caring. Providing them for others is quintessentially socialist. Man, Sarkozy fucked up France more than I thought. What is this world coming to when you can't share prostitutes in France?! Won't someone think of the scumbag millionaries?!

  59. RadioSBJ

    Hey Pinche, how can you question Apple? Don't you know that Obama hates Apple? They are the most capitalized company in the world, and he's a Marxist. At least that's what Russ says. And Limbnuts should know, they won't sponsor the fat fuckface.
    And, also too, your new description is right on. Waht is the deal with those trolls visiting our profiles?? Feeble intimidation, OCD or just flat out psychopaths? Or all of them Katie?

  60. Steverino247

    You guys need to go see ZPZ if the show gets anywhere near you. Just great what Dweezil's doing out there.

  61. ElPinche

    well im sure one day we'll all be watching in horror on our fancy capitalistic ipads a corporate sponsored youtube video of limpnuts choking on a taco bell chimichanga or something on that god forsaken walmart-bought webcam.

    all of the katie on that last one. yeah, those breitbart fellas need to get out more or something.
    tonight, i have lost the will to use the shift key.

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