THE SIMULACRA  2:16 pm February 20, 2012

Celebrate Presidents Day With These Inaccurate Androids

by Wonkette Jr.

Every year on this holy day, we all gather around the YouTube to enjoy the greatest presidential moments in American History, such as these guys screwing around with the Animatronic Presidents at the Disney World.

Oh look, here’s Lincoln half-heartedly freeing the slaves after the Civil War already started. Those are his morals collapsing, right there at Disney Land!

And here’s a random crazy person at Disney Land, right before Doctor Who took him back to the U.S.S. Tardis, the end.

 

Hola wonkerados.

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{ 39 comments }

Barb February 20, 2012 at 2:18 pm

I saw that Sarah Palin tweeted "Happy Birthday, President Lincoln" I didn't want to burst her bubble and tell her that he's dead.
She released a President's Day video on her PAC site. Yeah, the site with the "donate" button. What a whore.

GeneralLerong February 20, 2012 at 7:14 pm

Another Alaskan saves the day:

Apostrophes – He was a Greek, yeah?

nounverb911 February 20, 2012 at 2:18 pm

I don't remember seeing Reagan at the Hall of Presidents at the '64 Worlds Fair.

MrsBiggTime February 20, 2012 at 2:30 pm

Animatronic Reagan was Nancy's favorite, if ya know what I mean.

RadioSBJ February 20, 2012 at 3:52 pm

Animatronic Reagan/Rubio '12
Brokered Convention.

Pres.Beeblebrox February 20, 2012 at 4:44 pm

♫ All alone at the '64 World's Fair
80 dolls yelling "Small Girl After All"
Who was at the DuPont Pavilion?
Why was the bench still warm?
Who had been there? ♫

chicken_thief February 20, 2012 at 2:21 pm

They should have ponied up a few more bucks and went with the iPhone Presidents.

edgydrifter February 20, 2012 at 2:29 pm

Where's the animatronic Jesus dictating the Constitution?

Steverino247 February 20, 2012 at 4:36 pm

Salt Lake City, Utah. Temple Square, if I recall correctly. Right next to the restored travel agency where Jesus got his tickets to the New World to preach on his three day Gospel tour.

KeepFnThatChicken February 20, 2012 at 5:51 pm

…on an H1B Visa.

PubOption February 20, 2012 at 7:48 pm

Would he have been able to get an H1B? Has the USA ever had a shortage of preachers?

jus_wonderin February 20, 2012 at 2:29 pm

I love androids but I won't watch that as it might keep me up at night.

DaRooster February 20, 2012 at 2:35 pm

That guy has some good balance… I guess it pays to be fucking Goofy…

ttommyunger February 20, 2012 at 2:42 pm

That's what Minnie says.

slowhansolo February 20, 2012 at 2:40 pm

Well, that's just Batty.

ttommyunger February 20, 2012 at 2:43 pm

USA, USA! We are soooo fucked.

mavenmaven February 20, 2012 at 2:45 pm

Random Crazy Man 2012!

SorosBot February 20, 2012 at 2:50 pm

We're pretending to be incompetent so that you fleshlings will let down your guard and be completely surprised when the robolution comes.

EloquentScience February 20, 2012 at 2:54 pm

I'd like to celebrate President's Day by giving those presidents who gave away our civil liberties and blew a lot of money fighting wars we didn't want a big swift kick in the butt.

savethispatient February 20, 2012 at 2:59 pm

That's H.M.S. Tardis to you, damn colonial.

KeepFnThatChicken February 20, 2012 at 5:53 pm

There's a reason why some of us call fans of that show "Tards".

MadBrahms February 20, 2012 at 4:20 pm

Animatronic George W. Bush is actually a special model of Roomba designed for clearing brush.

Beowoof February 20, 2012 at 4:29 pm

Over the current crop of republican contenders give me the animatronics.

Steverino247 February 20, 2012 at 4:37 pm

I can hardly wait for the 28th when the Romney animatronic melts down due to santorum contamination.

Pres.Beeblebrox February 20, 2012 at 4:48 pm

Man, I really miss the days of the Sweeney Patch administration. President Roof is OK but Patch…. he was just the consummate liberal.

Gary Question just was a failure of a president, especially when he was turned over to The Hague to stand trial for war crimes. And don't get me started on President Jonathan T. President's administration.

Chillwillard February 20, 2012 at 5:16 pm

No wonder why Mitt thinks he belongs in there.

JustPixelz February 20, 2012 at 5:22 pm

Dubya Bush malfunctinoned … and he wasn't even animatronic. For example, when he froze up for seven minutes after being told "the nation is under attack".

Soylent Green February 20, 2012 at 6:21 pm

OmiGod! Somebody's shot President Lincoln again!

johnnyzhivago February 20, 2012 at 6:21 pm

Millard Filmore: Inventor of Soap on a Rope.

chascates February 20, 2012 at 7:04 pm
paris biltong February 20, 2012 at 7:04 pm

Lincoln? Washington? All of them, Katie.

Sharkey February 20, 2012 at 8:55 pm

Wow, there have been more Presidents than there are comments here!!

Biff February 21, 2012 at 12:00 am

but where is President Dwayne Elizondo Mountain Dew Herbert Camacho?
Or that Jed Bartlett fellow?

Chet Kincaid February 21, 2012 at 9:31 am

The President Palmer Brothers or GTFO.

CapnFatback February 21, 2012 at 11:44 am

They figured out why Lincoln malfunctioned in that second clip after discovering an Animatronic John Wilkes Boothe backstage.

Data Exactly February 21, 2012 at 11:59 am

He's not crazy, just disoriented!

RadioSBJ February 20, 2012 at 3:50 pm

Careful there, Jack.

Boojum_Reborn February 20, 2012 at 6:49 pm

I'm trying to figure out a way that I can say tea arruh eye guh without getting the delete hammer.

RadioSBJ February 20, 2012 at 9:38 pm

My go to is TRIsomyG.

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