The Simulacra

Celebrate Presidents Day With These Inaccurate Androids

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Every year on this holy day, we all gather around the YouTube to enjoy the greatest presidential moments in American History, such as these guys screwing around with the Animatronic Presidents at the Disney World.

Oh look, here’s Lincoln half-heartedly freeing the slaves after the Civil War already started. Those are his morals collapsing, right there at Disney Land!

And here’s a random crazy person at Disney Land, right before Doctor Who took him back to the U.S.S. Tardis, the end.

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  • Barb

    I saw that Sarah Palin tweeted "Happy Birthday, President Lincoln" I didn't want to burst her bubble and tell her that he's dead.
    She released a President's Day video on her PAC site. Yeah, the site with the "donate" button. What a whore.

  • nounverb911

    I don't remember seeing Reagan at the Hall of Presidents at the '64 Worlds Fair.

    • MrsBiggTime

      Animatronic Reagan was Nancy's favorite, if ya know what I mean.

      • RadioSBJ

        Animatronic Reagan/Rubio '12
        Brokered Convention.

    • Pres.Beeblebrox

      ♫ All alone at the '64 World's Fair
      80 dolls yelling "Small Girl After All"
      Who was at the DuPont Pavilion?
      Why was the bench still warm?
      Who had been there? ♫

  • chicken_thief

    They should have ponied up a few more bucks and went with the iPhone Presidents.

  • edgydrifter

    Where's the animatronic Jesus dictating the Constitution?

    • Steverino247

      Salt Lake City, Utah. Temple Square, if I recall correctly. Right next to the restored travel agency where Jesus got his tickets to the New World to preach on his three day Gospel tour.

      • KeepFnThatChicken

        …on an H1B Visa.

        • PubOption

          Would he have been able to get an H1B? Has the USA ever had a shortage of preachers?

  • jus_wonderin

    I love androids but I won't watch that as it might keep me up at night.

  • DaRooster

    That guy has some good balance… I guess it pays to be fucking Goofy…

    • ttommyunger

      That's what Minnie says.

  • slowhansolo

    Well, that's just Batty.

  • ttommyunger

    USA, USA! We are soooo fucked.

  • mavenmaven

    Random Crazy Man 2012!

  • SorosBot

    We're pretending to be incompetent so that you fleshlings will let down your guard and be completely surprised when the robolution comes.

  • EloquentScience

    I'd like to celebrate President's Day by giving those presidents who gave away our civil liberties and blew a lot of money fighting wars we didn't want a big swift kick in the butt.

  • savethispatient

    That's H.M.S. Tardis to you, damn colonial.

    • KeepFnThatChicken

      There's a reason why some of us call fans of that show "Tards".

  • MadBrahms

    Animatronic George W. Bush is actually a special model of Roomba designed for clearing brush.

  • Beowoof

    Over the current crop of republican contenders give me the animatronics.

  • Steverino247

    I can hardly wait for the 28th when the Romney animatronic melts down due to santorum contamination.

  • Pres.Beeblebrox

    Man, I really miss the days of the Sweeney Patch administration. President Roof is OK but Patch…. he was just the consummate liberal.

    Gary Question just was a failure of a president, especially when he was turned over to The Hague to stand trial for war crimes. And don't get me started on President Jonathan T. President's administration.

  • Chillwillard

    No wonder why Mitt thinks he belongs in there.

  • JustPixelz

    Dubya Bush malfunctinoned … and he wasn't even animatronic. For example, when he froze up for seven minutes after being told "the nation is under attack".

  • Soylent Green

    OmiGod! Somebody's shot President Lincoln again!

  • johnnyzhivago

    Millard Filmore: Inventor of Soap on a Rope.

  • chascates
  • paris biltong

    Lincoln? Washington? All of them, Katie.

  • Sharkey

    Wow, there have been more Presidents than there are comments here!!

  • Biff

    but where is President Dwayne Elizondo Mountain Dew Herbert Camacho?
    Or that Jed Bartlett fellow?

  • Chet Kincaid

    The President Palmer Brothers or GTFO.

  • CapnFatback

    They figured out why Lincoln malfunctioned in that second clip after discovering an Animatronic John Wilkes Boothe backstage.

  • Data Exactly

    He's not crazy, just disoriented!

  • RadioSBJ

    Careful there, Jack.

  • Boojum_Reborn

    I'm trying to figure out a way that I can say tea arruh eye guh without getting the delete hammer.

  • RadioSBJ

    My go to is TRIsomyG.