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Right-Wing Anti-Mexican Arizona Sheriff Has Gay Mexican Lover

Gay Mexican Anchor Dildos for Paul Babeu!Here is the hot American president’s day news for those of you who didn’t spend the weekend searching for “gay wingnut arizona sheriff tries to deport gay mexican lover” on Ask Jeeves: Beloved right-wing anti-Mexican Arizona sheriff Paul Babeu has been caught trying to deport his homosexual Mexican lover, because Paul Babeu is a homosexual with an unquenchable thirst for the semen of illegal Mexican men. It is very common for anti-Mexican Republicans to have undocumented Mexican servants and gardeners and nannies, of course, and it is exceedingly common — almost required by the RNC — for Republican politician men to be self-hating homosexuals, and it is utterly expected that any Republican in Arizona is going to be a comic book villain/idiot. But to get all three in one person (a sheriff, even!) running for Congress is just a bit overboard.

So, according to the Phoenix New-Times and the thousand gleeful news articles that have followed this weekend, Pinal County Sheriff Paul Babeu tried to deport his homosexual lover, “Jose.” That’s about all you need to know.

But, of course, you would like a few comical details, to help with the gloating:

Pinal County Sheriff Paul Babeu — who became the face of Arizona border security nationally after he started stridently opposing illegal immigration — threatened his Mexican ex-lover with deportation when the man refused to promise never to disclose their years-long relationship, the former boyfriend and his lawyer tell New Times.

The latest of the alleged threats were made through Babeu’s personal attorney, who’s also running the sheriff’s campaign for Congress in District 4, the ex-lover says.

Babeu has decided, obviously, to continue running for Congress. After all, he is very tough on illegal immigration, when it comes to the actual Mexican men he is sodomizing! (Or being “sodomized by,” as we don’t pretend to know the nature of this relationship other than it is Very Gay, which Republicans tend to be against, in theory but rarely in practice.)

Where have we seen this gay man, Paul Babeu, before? Oh, the usual places. But also, in this hilarious John McCain campaign video from 2008, “Complete the Danged Fence.”

Paul Babeu, obviously, is now a Mitt Romney campaign chairman in Arizona. Based on the New Times report of the many professional services “Jose” provided to Babeu, we wonder if Romney’s Arizona websites were also created by the talented and oppressed “Jose.”

Jose says he met Babeu in October 2006 on, a dating website. What started with an online invitation from Babeu for the two to get together, he says, turned into not only a personal relationship but a professional one.

Jose says he created and maintained Babeu’s campaign websites, his Facebook page, and his Twitter account. Babeu didn’t pay him for his online services, he claims.

We await the news of Maricopa County Sheriff Joe Arpaio’s homosexual Illegal Mexican love betrayal with something approaching horror. [Fox News/Phoenix New Times]

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    1. Not_So_Much

      Those crazy lovebirds are "fact finding", again, over in the Middle East right now. JUST KISS ALREADY!!

    2. natoslug

      That's one hell of a bold coming-out statement.

      "Senator, you're one of us."
      Long soulful stares into each others' eyes . . .
      "I'm John McCain and I approve this message."

      I should snark here, but really, Walnuts said it all.

          1. Dashboard Buddha

            I feel your pain. Sometimes I think that if the 'net didn't exist, I wouldn't know terms like Rusty Trombone, Snorkling, Cleveland Steamer, Hot Carl, or Jeff Gammon.Damn you Internet!(Oh, goatse and tubgirl…fuck, I should just go kill myself now)oh, and furries.—

    1. Jukesgrrl

      I wish. As a resident of the county south of the one policed by Babeu (you know, the one that actually IS on the border), I predict this is not good-bye. This guy is a rock star in Arizona. For years he's had a publicity machine developing an image for him as the anti-Mexican Rambo. Many people are convinced that Southern Arizona would be overrun with killer Mexican drug gangs and we'd have headless bodies all over the desert if it weren't for the man they lovingly call Sheriff Paul. I doubt that his fans have much use for teh gheyz, but they have even less use for people who like to solve problems through diplomacy.

      1. valthemus

        They'll support him even though he's gay and his last name sounds French? Having a big gun must really make a difference. A big, long meaty gun that… I'll stop there.

  1. Joshua Norton

    At least he he had the balls to admit he was gay. But he'll probably claim he never inhaled during the up-coming spin cycle.

  2. DaRooster

    "Babeu didn’t pay him for his online services, he claims."

    "He said he just wanted to work it out in trade… but I can't live on massages and spooning."

  3. freakishlywrong

    I was laughing about this yesterday and I told Mr. Freakish about it, and he shrugged and said: "meh, Republicans". Which, yeah.

  4. JustPixelz

    Politics does indeed make strange bedfellows. Such as when Arizona Sheriff Paul Babeu stood with John McCain to "build the danged fence" along the U.S.-Mexican border. McCain, of course, wanted to keep the illegal immigrants out. It turns out Sheriff Babeu wanted to keep his boy toy "Jose" from escaping back to Mexico.

    1. Biel_ze_Bubba

      Someone really should tell the Republicans that Politics makes strange bedfellows is just a figure of speech. (I think they have the same problem with the Constitution.)

    2. valthemus

      "Boy Toys" are oversexed female nymphettes. "Jose" was a "Toy Boy." Let's keep things straight! —- Ya see that? Thas a pun! Wasn't that a good pun?!? I'm so freakin' witty!! I should be on TV!

  5. Not_So_Much

    That's nice with the hand in the shirt for sessy time. How long til we see the set with his hand in Jose's fly?

  6. prommie

    If stories like this didn't happen, and Wonkette were forced to start making stuff up, this is exactly the sort of story that Wonkette would make up. Fortunately, Wonkette doesn't have to make up stories like this, because there is a constant, ongoing rich pageant of self-hating, closeted, hypocritical right-wing anti-homosexual religion and morality cheerleaders who secretly love the cock.

  7. SorosBot

    It's getting to the point where "homophobic conservative politician / preacher is secretly gay" stories are becoming "dog bites man" stories these days.

    1. Negligently_Joe

      In Babau's defense, there's pretty much nothing I've seen that suggests that he's been all that homophobic in public life. Just a firebrand conservative of the bigoted-against-brown-people variety. Which still makes this story hilarious, but somewhat differently so. explicitly took the position that being a Romney campaign chair tips things into the 'homophobe' category, and while I tend to agree, that's because I consider any support for the present-day Republican party to be a de facto act of homophobia, and gayhomophobe has made it a point not to stake out that position.

  8. PubOption

    Not good politics at all. If Jose was deported he could talk to the newspapers. Better to have killed him and dumped his body in the desert, along with the hundreds of other corpses.

      1. tessiee

        Not sure why that's specific to AZ.
        I thought headless bodies were so that dental records couldn't be used for identification.

  9. Joshua Norton

    After all, he is very tough on illegal immigration,

    But what he left out was that being tough included a ball gag and a safe word.

  10. el_donaldo

    Well, it's nice he's not dodging the gay label, but I can't feel bad about all the shit that's going to get dumped on him now, because, seriously, what a prick.

  11. DrOzarkZ.Hellbender

    The Sheriff is letting illegals in through the backdoor!

    (Sorry, YouTube commenter, I told you I was stealin' that)

        1. ttommyunger

          I think the former term is used by the closeted and the later by the openly gay…I know, I used it; heh, heh. Ya never know, I'm only 70, I still have time to turn to the ghey side, sadly, I would be giving nothing up.

      1. Dashboard Buddha

        OT: My hair is really long now – almost past my shoulders. Why? I got tired of looking like every other shaved head homunculus out there. Same with the beard. I used to have a goatee back when only artists and gay men had them. When I started noticing that NASCAR drivers and country music stars were rockin' the 'tee I knew that, for me, the style had jumped the shark.

      2. tessiee

        One of the things I find super attractive about my boyfriend is that he has long hair — down to the middle of his back, and strawberry blond — and a beard to match. He looks like a viking.
        (sorry, guys; I just recently switched from calling him "my friend" to calling him "my boyfriend", *at his request*, and now I have Mentionitis)

          1. tessiee

            Oh! He is! He's awesome!
            I think blond or red hair = hawt.
            The first time we met, I looked him up and down, tented my fingertips a la Mr. Burns, and said, "Exxxxcellent". He laughed, because he's a big goofball like I am, and we just went from there.
            He's also brainy, geeky, funny, sweet, and loves books as much as I do.
            (OK, I did warn you I have "mentionitis")

          2. tessiee

            Mentionitis is the thing where one person *has* it, and *everybody else* has a ringing in *their* ears all the time, because the person with mentionitis can't shut up about their boyfriend/girlfriend/job/car/kid/whatever.

      3. Biel_ze_Bubba

        There comes a time, for many of us, when long hair .just doesn't work.

        If you can't embrace your inner Hulk Hogan, you should embrace your inner Bruce Willis. Hopefully, you don't even have an inner Paul Babeau.

        (EDIT: As with all rules, Willie Nelson gets a pass.)

        1. emmelemm

          Dude, my friend used to work with a guy who had a "perfect" skullet. Seriously, the hair part was super long, and the full head-to-the-earline was perfectly shaved and gleaming. It appeared that he actually shaved the dividing line so that it was precise and straight.

          His office mates called him "The Crypt-Keeper" behind his back.

          1. Loaded_Pants

            I had no idea that it was called a "skullet". But I have seen it walking about IRL & it has got the be the most disturbing hairstyle of all.

    1. SheriffRoscoe

      For years his hair was probably thinning. His stylist probably encouraged him to just go "with it."

    1. Negropolis

      I don't know why I found that so funny, but I don't ask too many additional questions when a good laugh happens.

    1. Grief_Lessons

      And Penuel County will continue to wrestle with its religion. Penal County will remain a good plae to get a descriptive tattoo on your back, and Penile County will not really change at all.

  12. weej_bain

    So some santorum is leaking out onto the intertubes about Sheriff Babeu knowing all the ins and outs about getting Jose-ed.

    ♪♫ Jose can you sing? ♫♪
    Just did. Thank you, thank you very much.

  13. edgydrifter

    At least Babeu accepts his orientation. Arpaio is so deep in his drive-in closet of blustery machismo that he probably honestly considers gay sex "just messin' around with the boys."

  14. ElPinche

    It's all clear now. Arpaio's tent cities are really just man-ass markets. "Thanks Sheriff, I'll take that glistening brown one, Pedro, in the pink briefs for $500."

  15. Barb

    Happy President's Day everyone! It is a day that will never honor Sarah Palin, so we have that going for us.

  16. Guppy

    This isn't "President's Day," it's Pedant's Day, when every self-important know-it-all can go around telling everyone it isn't really President's Day.

    1. tessiee

      I'm a self-important know-it-all
      (can I get a "a-Men"?)
      Just not about President's Day.
      So can I hang out here today, or do I actually have to find something constructive to do?

        1. slithytoves

          It's just officially called "Washington's Birthday" according to section 6103(a) of title 5 of the U.S. Code.

          And I wouldn't have done that if Guppy hadn't set me up!

    2. AnAmericanInTO

      Here in Canukistan, it's Family Day where you presumably spend the day indoors with your family and realize why you don't do this every day.

  17. Blueb4sunrise

    Was internet-less for four days and this story was tops in the inbox!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    I trust that nothing else of note happened.

  18. Guppy

    "The latest of the alleged threats were made through Babeu’s personal attorney"

    Seriously? Who'd he hire to represent him, Orly Taitz?

  19. ghostchildd88

    This wonkette article or writer seems to be taking shots at gay people also, by suggesting same sex attraction always comes down to 'sdmy'…you know, the typical West boro baptize church type of suggestions…

    I mean I can understand going after the sheriff for doing what he did, but why go out of your way to degrade people in same sex relationship?

  20. DrOzarkZ.Hellbender

    Just for the record, apart from allowing right-wing haters to assume that he agreed with them on everything, did Babeu ever actually state anti-gay policy positions? I don't mind calling him a slimy hypocrite, but it would be nice to have an accurate sense of the depth of his hypocrisy. I mean, are we talking ankle-deep, or knee-deep in hypojizz?

  21. tessiee

    Yay! A new thread!
    *stomp stomp stomp*
    *prance prance prance*
    *bound bound bound*
    It's just like new snow!

    1. fuflans

      thank god. i have several people i want to respond to but can't begin to find their comments in that monster thread.

  22. ttommyunger

    Now he's saying he was victimized by a priest for years, starting at age 11. Somehow, I don't doubt that in the least, but I think he owes it to other youngsters to name names. Full disclosure, asshole; you've kept your secrets far too long. BTW, Walnuts is asking for a presumption of innocence for "his friend". Fucking amazing!

    1. Jukesgrrl

      Yes, the priest thing is another reason why I don't think this incident will really prove to be all that scandalous for the sheriff. All the enforcement-obsessed Mexican haters down here are using that as the reason it's OK to keep around a gay person they would normally have shunned. "It's not his fault he's gay," is a sentence I'm hearing around here a lot. Teh ghey is a disease one catches from Catholics, dint ya know?

  23. C_R_Eature

    Another one? Will these be a weekly occurrence, then?

    Some day, Rick Santorum will be found by the Police passed out on top of an underage male Dominican prostitute in a motel room in Breezewood, PA, surrounded by empty Amyl Nitrate poppers, crushed tubes of K-Y, frighteningly large Rubber Protuberances, a latex Gorilla mask and an 8 X 10 color photo of Breitbart and Riley.

    And I will Laugh.

      1. C_R_Eature

        Thanks! It sure sounds like a pretty place but… eeeech.

        The Good Doctor also made famous the improbably-named Pennsylvania town of Jersey Shore.

        1. Jukesgrrl

          "… through pluck or cabal, you have survived …"

          I vote for cabal. And I'd put money on the fact that the owner of the Family House is part of it. Maybe the author was on his way to Pittsburgh for the University's renowned writing program. I once had a poet literally kowtow to me when I mentioned I was from Pittsburgh. "It's the poetry capital of America," he gasped. Would he have had the nerve to say that had someone from Iowa City been present?

  24. littlebigdaddy

    In fairness to Walnuts, Miss Lindsey vetted Babeau back in '08. She said he was "very butch," which did not mean what Walnuts thought it meant.

  25. tessiee

    The person in the lower left corner of the illustration has beautiful green eyes.
    They've got an eagle nose, though.

  26. Steverino247

    You know, the civil rights violation trial (abuse under color of authority) should feature some really interesting testimony. And if that's not a crime, what about forcing a domestic partner to stay in an abusive relationship by threats like deportation. I'd love to be running against this asshole in a congressional election.

    1. SorosBot

      Indeed, a lot of abusive guys go after foreign woman because they can use their immigration status as a threat to force the women to stay with them; that a gay abusive douchbag would do the same is not that surprising I guess.

      1. Loaded_Pants

        When I first heard of this story, I had the horrifying thought that who knows what sort of awful things "Jose" may have had to do under threat of deportation.

  27. FakaktaSouth

    What up with the self hating Mexican dude though? I have never had a guy that absolutely fucking hates women so much they have made a career out of it (ie, a Catholic priest or Republican Presidential candidate or something) hit on me, but if they did, I would tell them no thank you. But otherwise, this (mccain commercial affiliation) has made my day. I will raise my President's Day/Kid's 5th birthday margarita in your honor Jose, and hope your next bf likes you in public.

    1. Jukesgrrl

      I trust you won't let your child grow up to be a president. It's not something a completely sane person would want as a career (sorry Hopey, but you do have father issues, like most of them).

      1. FakaktaSouth

        I think her father is way too involved and interested in her well being for her to make it to the presidency. None of my 3 kids are probably going to do much as far as trying to prove anything to anybody. We've been WAY too free with the bullshit love and care for you just cause your ours nonsense. They'll probably all be really self satisfied failures like their stay at home Mom (if they can find somebody with some cash to support them though, it works out! And that's MOSTLY the same as running for Pres at least! So, hooray!)

        1. Jukesgrrl

          You're doing what I call God's work, not that crap Santorum claims is God's work.Your children will be intelligent, fulfilled, and no doubt vote for good public servants.What more could their fellow Americans want from them … and you.

  28. starfanglednut

    Oh, please. Wake me when a heterosexual, faithful to his wife, non tax cheating, drug free, non illegal immigrant hiring, non racist, non corporate cock sucking whore republican proposes legislation that will lead to actual jobs rather than the oppression of women, the blahs, browns,gheyz, and the poor and/ or bombing brown people.

  29. MrsBiggTime

    Oh, Arizona! You're dangerous with all your crazy and you just can't keep a secret, but… Why can't I quit you?

  30. UnholyMoses

    Two thoughts:

    1. Good to see Wonkette covering buttsechs again, if in a slightly different … manner.

    2. When did Arizona become the Kansassippi of the Southwest? Or has it always been like that and I just missed it?

    1. SorosBot

      I think it's the Florida of the West Coast, similarly filed with crazed retired old people. Plus there's the heat; it brings out the crazy.

      1. UnholyMoses

        Hmmm … I like the idea of West Florida(TM).

        Also, too: Perhaps the lack of humidity dries out their brains (well, what they have of them) in Arizona, while the high humidity in Florida makes their brains rot.

        Seasons — More important than realized!

    2. Antispandex

      Arizona is much different. In the south, when you are butt pumping your "boyfriend", you have an actual gun to his head. Not a deportation order. That's red state romance.

  31. sezme

    Today we are all ostensibly straight guys with an unquenchable thirst for the semen of illegal Mexican men. Or is that just Rick Perry?

  32. mavenmaven

    I can hear his mother going "and you couldn't just find a nice boy at CPAC?"
    At any rate, the worst part of this story is this prick trying to deport his partner. What a prick. A lying GOP homophobe prick.

  33. mavenmaven

    Wow, times have changed, just went through all the comments and there's not a single Marcus Bachmann reference!

  34. Antispandex

    Hmmm…I'm wondering how long it will be until the, "this type of digging into ones personal sex life is what is wrong with American politics, and makes people not want to be part of the process", stories start to appear. Because everyone knows your sex life should be personal…if you are a Teapublican. Right, Newt?

    1. Jukesgrrl

      It already started, five minutes after the story broke. And five minutes after that the "It's not his fault he was molested by a priest" meme put a bow on their excuse … dare I say … package.

  35. rickmaci

    This is just another story about a sleeze ball TeaTard. He was running against an incumbent RepTard and did not have a chance in hell of getting elected. His failed campaign won't change the congressional map or have any impact on the general election. Move along folks, keep moving, nothing to see here…

  36. owhatever

    Sheriff Paul: Where were you at 2 a.m. on the night of June 13?
    Jose: Dancing with you at El Matador, Paul. Don't you remember? Cry.

  37. missemish

    In a perfect world Santorum would get caught in a scandal just like Babeu, except his would be with a male Arab atheist evolutionary anthropologist.

  38. Negligently_Joe

    It's worth pointing out that under Arizona's SB 1070, Babeu would have been required by law to verify Jose's immigration status while picking him up. And, also, too, any resident of Arizona can sue the county and state for his failing to do so (hint, hint).

  39. Jukesgrrl

    You'd think this Babeu story would be big news in Southern Arizona's largest newspaper, but meh. Today's Arizona Daily Star has it in the far bottom corner. The big headline is, "Supersized Ants Provide Evolutionary Clues." No shit.

  40. fuflans

    god. just watching 15 seconds of walnuts was too much.

    how did we make it thru 2008? oh right. wonkette and alcohol.

  41. valthemus

    Once again the lefty lib elites are bleating about "Hypocrisy!" an' some junk and completely overlooking the vital significance of the Sheriff's core message: "I look pretty damn fine wearing nothing but pair of boxer shorts!"

  42. poorgradstudent

    Crap like this makes me want to do a remake of CALIGULA, but with members of our current imperial court instead.

  43. NYNYNYjr

    Original end to that video:
    Barbeau: Senator, you're one of us.
    McCain: Yes, a sodomite.
    Barbeau: This is where the holes are, Senator. [They both approach fence and stick their dicks through the holes.]
    Voiceover: I'm John Mccain and I approve this message

    Of course, that made the ad 45 seconds and they needed to cut it to 30, so they just put a freeze fram after 'one of us'

  44. a_pink_poodle

    Is anyone really surprised that a right-winger is secretly gay? The sky is blue, water is wet, prominent right-wingers are secretly gay!

    1. littlebigdaddy

      Yes, but it is the triple-lutz of him being "strongly" anti-immigrant that raises it to a higher aesthetic plain.

  45. 5thstate

    Yeah but…."won't somebody please think about the fence!"

    I mean really!

    PERSPECTIVE, people!

    Deep Authoritative Voice Over Closing Credits: Sherriff Barbaeaus gay mexican lover remains at-large, but like John' McCains "danged fence", THIS professional law enforcement officer wont rest until he sees his gay mexican lover is deprted as effectively and all the other mexican gay lovers obviously are, otherwise there'd be a lot more of this kind of thing going on….and…ummm….yeah this series has run its course…othing to see folks, move along now…just move along…don;t make me use the pepper spary!.

  46. doloras

    If the submissive partner is gagged, one may let them hold a bunch of keys or similar, and the "safe word" is dropping the keys. Er, so I'm told.

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