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Right-Wing Anti-Mexican Arizona Sheriff Has Gay Mexican Lover

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Gay Mexican Anchor Dildos for Paul Babeu!Here is the hot American president’s day news for those of you who didn’t spend the weekend searching for “gay wingnut arizona sheriff tries to deport gay mexican lover” on Ask Jeeves: Beloved right-wing anti-Mexican Arizona sheriff Paul Babeu has been caught trying to deport his homosexual Mexican lover, because Paul Babeu is a homosexual with an unquenchable thirst for the semen of illegal Mexican men. It is very common for anti-Mexican Republicans to have undocumented Mexican servants and gardeners and nannies, of course, and it is exceedingly common — almost required by the RNC — for Republican politician men to be self-hating homosexuals, and it is utterly expected that any Republican in Arizona is going to be a comic book villain/idiot. But to get all three in one person (a sheriff, even!) running for Congress is just a bit overboard.

So, according to the Phoenix New-Times and the thousand gleeful news articles that have followed this weekend, Pinal County Sheriff Paul Babeu tried to deport his homosexual lover, “Jose.” That’s about all you need to know.

But, of course, you would like a few comical details, to help with the gloating:

Pinal County Sheriff Paul Babeu — who became the face of Arizona border security nationally after he started stridently opposing illegal immigration — threatened his Mexican ex-lover with deportation when the man refused to promise never to disclose their years-long relationship, the former boyfriend and his lawyer tell New Times.

The latest of the alleged threats were made through Babeu’s personal attorney, who’s also running the sheriff’s campaign for Congress in District 4, the ex-lover says.

Babeu has decided, obviously, to continue running for Congress. After all, he is very tough on illegal immigration, when it comes to the actual Mexican men he is sodomizing! (Or being “sodomized by,” as we don’t pretend to know the nature of this relationship other than it is Very Gay, which Republicans tend to be against, in theory but rarely in practice.)

Where have we seen this gay man, Paul Babeu, before? Oh, the usual places. But also, in this hilarious John McCain campaign video from 2008, “Complete the Danged Fence.”

Paul Babeu, obviously, is now a Mitt Romney campaign chairman in Arizona. Based on the New Times report of the many professional services “Jose” provided to Babeu, we wonder if Romney’s Arizona websites were also created by the talented and oppressed “Jose.”

Jose says he met Babeu in October 2006 on gay.com, a dating website. What started with an online invitation from Babeu for the two to get together, he says, turned into not only a personal relationship but a professional one.

Jose says he created and maintained Babeu’s campaign websites, his Facebook page, and his Twitter account. Babeu didn’t pay him for his online services, he claims.

Sponsored Intermission

We await the news of Maricopa County Sheriff Joe Arpaio’s homosexual Illegal Mexican love betrayal with something approaching horror. [Fox News/Phoenix New Times]

About the author

Wonkette Jr., everybody! Hooray!

View all articles by Wonkette Jr.

Comments

Hey there, Wonkeputians! Shypixel here to remind you to remember our Commenting Rules For Radicals, Enjoy!

  • nounverb911

    I always thought Walnuts was gay for Miss Lindsey, now we know the truth.

    • Not_So_Much

      Those crazy lovebirds are "fact finding", again, over in the Middle East right now. JUST KISS ALREADY!!

      • Biff

        If anyone deserves to be apprehended for straying across the border into Iran, it's those two fucks.

    • http://oliphantparts.org/ natoslug

      That's one hell of a bold coming-out statement.

      "Senator, you're one of us."
      Long soulful stares into each others' eyes . . .
      "I'm John McCain and I approve this message."

      I should snark here, but really, Walnuts said it all.

      • arihaya

        "I'm John McCain and I approve this massage."

  • Trannysurprise

    The messicans can't hide from the long arm of the law.

    • nounverb911

      Or the "Short Arm" either.

      • DrOzarkZ.Hellbender

        Or the law's little mouth, either, also, too.

    • prommie

      The long arm of the law is especially useful for giving reach-arounds.

      • Dashboard Buddha

        Or playing the rusty trombone.

        • tessiee

          I wish I didn't know what that meant.
          You don't know how much I wish I didn't know what that meant.

          • Dashboard Buddha

            I feel your pain. Sometimes I think that if the 'net didn't exist, I wouldn't know terms like Rusty Trombone, Snorkling, Cleveland Steamer, Hot Carl, or Jeff Gammon.Damn you Internet!(Oh, goatse and tubgirl…fuck, I should just go kill myself now)oh, and furries.—

    • WiscDad

      Now just because the sheriff is tall does not mean he has a long 'arm'

    • CivicHoliday

      But the long arm of the law can hide IN them

    • Nostrildamus

      More like the third leg of the law.

  • chascates

    GOOD MORNING WONKETTE JR.!!!!

    And good bye Sheriff Babeu!

    • CivicHoliday

      One must wonder what took him so long to write up this particularly juicy tidbit…

    • Oblios_Cap

      Sheriff Paul is just Jose's Sweet Baboo.

    • http://www.southsidejohnny.com/ Jukesgrrl

      I wish. As a resident of the county south of the one policed by Babeu (you know, the one that actually IS on the border), I predict this is not good-bye. This guy is a rock star in Arizona. For years he's had a publicity machine developing an image for him as the anti-Mexican Rambo. Many people are convinced that Southern Arizona would be overrun with killer Mexican drug gangs and we'd have headless bodies all over the desert if it weren't for the man they lovingly call Sheriff Paul. I doubt that his fans have much use for teh gheyz, but they have even less use for people who like to solve problems through diplomacy.

      • http://sciencekick.blogspot.com valthemus

        They'll support him even though he's gay and his last name sounds French? Having a big gun must really make a difference. A big, long meaty gun that… I'll stop there.

        • horsedreamer_1

          You know who else was from Massachusetts & Franco-American?

          • Biel_ze_Bubba

            Pretty much all the ones who weren't Irish.

      • chascates

        He sounds more like Ernst Rohm!

        • http://www.southsidejohnny.com/ Jukesgrrl

          Maybe Sheriff Joe will have to take care of him on the Night of the Pink Jumpsuits.There can be only one!

  • Joshua Norton

    At least he he had the balls to admit he was gay. But he'll probably claim he never inhaled during the up-coming spin cycle.

    • spinozasgod

      and he never swallowed, also….

    • Negropolis

      Kind of hard to deny it when the evidence presented by "Jose" was indisputable.

  • memzilla

    That's the Spicy Chimichanga with the Secret Santorum Filling.

    • RadioSBJ

      And a side of fetus giblets.

  • DaRooster

    Now that's a Hot Tamale!

    • Biff

      Not yet, Tuesday is Red's Tamales Day.

      • DaRooster

        Babeu weather report-
        Chili today hot tamale.

  • chascates

    Love the sinner, hate the clothes.

  • littlebigdaddy

    It's "off the hook"!

  • DaRooster

    "Babeu didn’t pay him for his online services, he claims."

    "He said he just wanted to work it out in trade… but I can't live on massages and spooning."

    • Exhausted66

      Rough Trade is still trade.

  • freakishlywrong

    This is a delicious bowl of tortilla soup with freude schaden on top.

    • WiscDad

      freude schaden? Is that German for santorum?

      • freakishlywrong

        Yes, or "Romney".

    • Pragmatist2

      Extra points for using German instead of Spanish.

  • lefty74

    Doesn't make any difference who we are or what we are, there's always somebody to look down on.

    • Pragmatist2

      And apparently the sheriff spent some quality time looking down on the top of Jose's head

  • Baconzgood

    What the fuck is the Blue Power Ranger doing?

    • WiscDad

      Looks like he's face fucking the orange TMNT Michelangelo

  • freakishlywrong

    I was laughing about this yesterday and I told Mr. Freakish about it, and he shrugged and said: "meh, Republicans". Which, yeah.

  • http://www.storycorner.us/ JustPixelz

    Politics does indeed make strange bedfellows. Such as when Arizona Sheriff Paul Babeu stood with John McCain to "build the danged fence" along the U.S.-Mexican border. McCain, of course, wanted to keep the illegal immigrants out. It turns out Sheriff Babeu wanted to keep his boy toy "Jose" from escaping back to Mexico.

    • Biel_ze_Bubba

      Someone really should tell the Republicans that Politics makes strange bedfellows is just a figure of speech. (I think they have the same problem with the Constitution.)

    • http://sciencekick.blogspot.com valthemus

      "Boy Toys" are oversexed female nymphettes. "Jose" was a "Toy Boy." Let's keep things straight! —- Ya see that? Thas a pun! Wasn't that a good pun?!? I'm so freakin' witty!! I should be on TV!

  • chascates

    Jose, can you see?
    By the dawn's early light?

    • tessiee

      Unless he's Jose Feliciano, yes.

  • Not_So_Much

    That's nice with the hand in the shirt for sessy time. How long til we see the set with his hand in Jose's fly?

    • chicken_thief

      Never would be too soon.

  • Dr_Zoidberg

    You know, this year the Republicans and their foibles are just the gift that keeps on giving.

  • DrOzarkZ.Hellbender
    • prommie

      This is just the best gif ever!

  • freddymcmurray

    buh bye Babeu

  • prommie

    If stories like this didn't happen, and Wonkette were forced to start making stuff up, this is exactly the sort of story that Wonkette would make up. Fortunately, Wonkette doesn't have to make up stories like this, because there is a constant, ongoing rich pageant of self-hating, closeted, hypocritical right-wing anti-homosexual religion and morality cheerleaders who secretly love the cock.

    • WiscDad

      Stranger than fiction isn't it?

      • horsedreamer_1

        Get bent, law-man!

        • Loaded_Pants

          Oh, I'm sure he's at least has gotten bent over.

  • SorosBot

    It's getting to the point where "homophobic conservative politician / preacher is secretly gay" stories are becoming "dog bites man" stories these days.

    • WiscDad

      more like man sucks man story

    • http://dismalpseudoscientist.wordpress.com Negligently_Joe

      In Babau's defense, there's pretty much nothing I've seen that suggests that he's been all that homophobic in public life. Just a firebrand conservative of the bigoted-against-brown-people variety. Which still makes this story hilarious, but somewhat differently so.

      http://gayhomophobe.com explicitly took the position that being a Romney campaign chair tips things into the 'homophobe' category, and while I tend to agree, that's because I consider any support for the present-day Republican party to be a de facto act of homophobia, and gayhomophobe has made it a point not to stake out that position.

  • Goonemeritus

    So he wants to build the wall but include glory holes in the design?

  • PubOption

    Not good politics at all. If Jose was deported he could talk to the newspapers. Better to have killed him and dumped his body in the desert, along with the hundreds of other corpses.

    • chicken_thief

      Headless body, of course, since it's AZ.

      • tessiee

        ???
        Not sure why that's specific to AZ.
        I thought headless bodies were so that dental records couldn't be used for identification.

        • http://oliphantparts.org/ natoslug

          [NSFW (contains a facial shot of Jan Brewer)]: http://tpmdc.talkingpointsmemo.com/2010/09/jan-br

          It was wonked about as well, but I'm too lazy to search for the post.

        • chicken_thief

          All the ones alleged by Gov Jan “the Finger Wagger” Brewer saw a while back.

  • Joshua Norton

    After all, he is very tough on illegal immigration,

    But what he left out was that being tough included a ball gag and a safe word.

    • Barrelhse

      Maybe they should have said he was "butch" on illegal immigration.

    • Biel_ze_Bubba

      "a ball gag and a safe word." I'm not sure that's a workable combo.

  • sharethegrief

    This is why you never see Babeu eat tacos.

    • chicken_thief

      Or tuna.

    • Neoyorquino

      He's a Chupa Chups™ kind of guy, I think.

  • el_donaldo

    Well, it's nice he's not dodging the gay label, but I can't feel bad about all the shit that's going to get dumped on him now, because, seriously, what a prick.

  • elburritodeluxe

    "Senator, youre one of us."
    turns out he didn't mean caucasian.

  • edgydrifter

    [COMMENT DELETED BECAUSE GOONEMERITUS BEAT ME TO IT]

  • DrOzarkZ.Hellbender

    The Sheriff is letting illegals in through the backdoor!

    (Sorry, YouTube commenter, I told you I was stealin' that)

    • Biff

      As shall we all, wherever we can get away with it.

  • prommie

    Is this cancer-patient bullethead hairstyle a thing or something? This Jeff Gannon thing?

    • ttommyunger

      Suppose to be super-macho, I'm guessing. Part of the charade.

      • prommie

        Is there a difference between super-macho and butch?

        • ttommyunger

          I think the former term is used by the closeted and the later by the openly gay…I know, I used it; heh, heh. Ya never know, I'm only 70, I still have time to turn to the ghey side, sadly, I would be giving nothing up.

        • GOPCrusher

          One drives a truck, the other a Subaru?

          • horsedreamer_1

            You know which other Massachusetts native politician drives a truck?

    • http://wonkette.com/ starfanglednut

      it is indeed a style. I for one really, really miss long hair on men.

      • Dashboard Buddha

        OT: My hair is really long now – almost past my shoulders. Why? I got tired of looking like every other shaved head homunculus out there. Same with the beard. I used to have a goatee back when only artists and gay men had them. When I started noticing that NASCAR drivers and country music stars were rockin' the 'tee I knew that, for me, the style had jumped the shark.

      • tessiee

        One of the things I find super attractive about my boyfriend is that he has long hair — down to the middle of his back, and strawberry blond — and a beard to match. He looks like a viking.
        (sorry, guys; I just recently switched from calling him "my friend" to calling him "my boyfriend", *at his request*, and now I have Mentionitis)

        • http://wonkette.com/ starfanglednut

          Mmm, he sounds adorable.

          • tessiee

            Oh! He is! He's awesome!
            I think blond or red hair = hawt.
            The first time we met, I looked him up and down, tented my fingertips a la Mr. Burns, and said, "Exxxxcellent". He laughed, because he's a big goofball like I am, and we just went from there.
            He's also brainy, geeky, funny, sweet, and loves books as much as I do.
            (OK, I did warn you I have "mentionitis")

          • Biff

            Good for you! I can't expect everyone to be miserable like me!

          • http://wonkette.com/ starfanglednut

            Mentionitis? Is that the thing where you have a ringing in your ears all the time? doesn't it clear up with a course of antibiotics?

          • tessiee

            Mentionitis is the thing where one person *has* it, and *everybody else* has a ringing in *their* ears all the time, because the person with mentionitis can't shut up about their boyfriend/girlfriend/job/car/kid/whatever.

      • Biel_ze_Bubba

        There comes a time, for many of us, when long hair .just doesn't work.

        If you can't embrace your inner Hulk Hogan, you should embrace your inner Bruce Willis. Hopefully, you don't even have an inner Paul Babeau.

        (EDIT: As with all rules, Willie Nelson gets a pass.)

        • emmelemm

          Dude, my friend used to work with a guy who had a "perfect" skullet. Seriously, the hair part was super long, and the full head-to-the-earline was perfectly shaved and gleaming. It appeared that he actually shaved the dividing line so that it was precise and straight.

          His office mates called him "The Crypt-Keeper" behind his back.

          • Loaded_Pants

            I had no idea that it was called a "skullet". But I have seen it walking about IRL & it has got the be the most disturbing hairstyle of all.

    • Biff

      When cops became militarized post-9/11, it became a thing.

    • SheriffRoscoe

      For years his hair was probably thinning. His stylist probably encouraged him to just go "with it."

    • Negropolis

      I'm guessing that like sexuality, his hairstyle wasn't a choice.

  • tcaalaw

    How do you say schadenfreude in Mexican?

    EDIT: Missed freakishlywrong's post above. Ah well.

    • tessiee

      HA ha!
      Oh, in Mexican?
      !JA ja!

  • chicken_thief

    They met in Ought-six, huh? Coming up on that dreaded seven year itch thingy….

    • Callyson

      That isn't where that itch came from…

    • horsedreamer_1

      Anal warts?

  • vtxmcrider

    This story is missing some santorum. Is Wonkette shying away from the buttsecks?

  • Bonzos_Bed_Time

    Sheriff Paul likes him some creamy horchata.

    Hmmm, mmm good.

  • lowaltflier

    Pinal county. Really. HA! HA! These things just write themselves.

    • Biel_ze_Bubba

      I keep reading that as Pineal County.
      Hormones on the high desert.

  • ElPinche

    That Arizona law kinda makes sense now. "I pulled you over cuz you have a purty mouth , hombre."

    • Negropolis

      I don't know why I found that so funny, but I don't ask too many additional questions when a good laugh happens.

  • PubOption

    Makes me wonder about Joe Arpaio, and his pink underwear fetish.

  • elviouslyqueer

    There's a pink underwear joke in here somewhere, but I'll be damned if I can find it.

    • chicken_thief

      Paul Babeu will get right on it.

    • HateMachine

      If you can't find a pair of pink undies, I don't know what hope the rest of us have.

  • paris biltong

    After this Pineal County will need massive doses of Prozac.

    • Grief_Lessons

      And Penuel County will continue to wrestle with its religion. Penal County will remain a good plae to get a descriptive tattoo on your back, and Penile County will not really change at all.

      • http://www.southsidejohnny.com/ Jukesgrrl

        Florence, Pinal County seat, will continue to proudly call itself the American city with the most law enforcement personnel per capita.

  • http://wonkette.com/ weej_bain

    So some santorum is leaking out onto the intertubes about Sheriff Babeu knowing all the ins and outs about getting Jose-ed.

    ♪♫ Jose can you sing? ♫♪
    Just did. Thank you, thank you very much.

  • RedneckMuslin

    Fox Chyron:

    Pinal County Sheriff Paul Babeu (D)

  • prommie

    Has Babeau endorsed Santorum?

  • edgydrifter

    At least Babeu accepts his orientation. Arpaio is so deep in his drive-in closet of blustery machismo that he probably honestly considers gay sex "just messin' around with the boys."

    • Biff

      Yeah, now he does.

  • ElPinche

    It's all clear now. Arpaio's tent cities are really just man-ass markets. "Thanks Sheriff, I'll take that glistening brown one, Pedro, in the pink briefs for $500."

    • extreme_left

      He has a penetrating insight into how to grapple with Illegals.

  • LiveToServeYa

    Tough on illegal immigration? You mean he's hard on illegal immigrants.

    • SorosBot

      Or illegal immigrants are hard in him.

    • unclejeems

      He has a hard on for illegal immigrants. Har, har, har!

    • chicken_thief

      Apparently he isn't tired of having illegal immigrants crammed down his throat.

    • tessiee

      That depends on your definition of "hard on".

    • ibwilliamsi

      Da-BUM-pah!

  • Barb

    Happy President's Day everyone! It is a day that will never honor Sarah Palin, so we have that going for us.

    • Biff

      Shouldn't we all be out buying furniture or something?

    • http://loljazzcatz.blogspot.com/ Chet Kincaid

      May your day be filled with grinning, dancing, idiotic-looking Lincolns and Washingtons whoring for car dealers and discount appliance retailers!

    • prommie

      Whats with all these sales that are only for 'whites?"

    • Biel_ze_Bubba

      Congress would have to re-name it "Good President's Day".

      Republicans would oppose the measure.

  • KeepFnThatChicken

    I don't know how to snark on a hypocrisy that really benefits our side…

    • Dashboard Buddha

      We really should thank them.

  • Guppy

    This isn't "President's Day," it's Pedant's Day, when every self-important know-it-all can go around telling everyone it isn't really President's Day.

    • prommie

      Pedants are gonna be pedantic.

      • Biff

        I don't wear necklaces, so how can I be pendantic?

    • tessiee

      I'm a self-important know-it-all
      (can I get a "a-Men"?)
      Just not about President's Day.
      So can I hang out here today, or do I actually have to find something constructive to do?

    • slithytoves

      Hey everyone – you know what? It's not really President's Day.

      • Geminisunmars

        How come?

        • slithytoves

          It's just officially called "Washington's Birthday" according to section 6103(a) of title 5 of the U.S. Code.

          And I wouldn't have done that if Guppy hadn't set me up!

      • prommie

        Go gyre and gymbal somewhere.

        • slithytoves

          Love me some gyring – gymbaling, not so much.

    • AnAmericanInTO

      Here in Canukistan, it's Family Day where you presumably spend the day indoors with your family and realize why you don't do this every day.

      • Guppy

        Are the liquor stores still open?

        • AnAmericanInTO

          Sorry, nope. You had to plan ahead on Saturday to stock up on 2-4s.

  • Blueb4sunrise

    HAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!
    Was internet-less for four days and this story was tops in the inbox!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    I trust that nothing else of note happened.

    • UW8316154

      Of note: We hit 2,000 plus comments on the Friday afternoon thread ~

  • Beowoof

    I am just loving the schadenfreude.

  • BarackMyWorld

    Teabaggers be teabaggin'.

  • DahBoner

    ICE, ICE, baby…

  • Guppy

    "The latest of the alleged threats were made through Babeu’s personal attorney"

    Seriously? Who'd he hire to represent him, Orly Taitz?

    • Dashboard Buddha

      Tighter…wetter…crazier…and totally disinterested.

      • LetUsBray

        Let me feeeneesh! Let me feeeneesh!!!!

        • Dashboard Buddha

          "Sorry, Oily. But you're so tight, wet, and crazy that I already shot my load. Napping now."

    • C_R_Eature

      That's Orly "Snot Otter" Taitz *
      Please make a note of it.

      *ref. Dr Ozark Z Hellbender

  • ghostchildd88

    This wonkette article or writer seems to be taking shots at gay people also, by suggesting same sex attraction always comes down to 'sdmy'…you know, the typical West boro baptize church type of suggestions…

    I mean I can understand going after the sheriff for doing what he did, but why go out of your way to degrade people in same sex relationship?

  • DrOzarkZ.Hellbender

    Just for the record, apart from allowing right-wing haters to assume that he agreed with them on everything, did Babeu ever actually state anti-gay policy positions? I don't mind calling him a slimy hypocrite, but it would be nice to have an accurate sense of the depth of his hypocrisy. I mean, are we talking ankle-deep, or knee-deep in hypojizz?

    • BarackMyWorld

      Hypocrisy not for the gayness, but for his…um…position on immigrants, so to speak.

  • tessiee

    Yay! A new thread!
    *stomp stomp stomp*
    *prance prance prance*
    *bound bound bound*
    It's just like new snow!

    • Barrelhse

      Punchline: It was Pat's handwriting.

    • fuflans

      thank god. i have several people i want to respond to but can't begin to find their comments in that monster thread.

  • ttommyunger

    Now he's saying he was victimized by a priest for years, starting at age 11. Somehow, I don't doubt that in the least, but I think he owes it to other youngsters to name names. Full disclosure, asshole; you've kept your secrets far too long. BTW, Walnuts is asking for a presumption of innocence for "his friend". Fucking amazing!

    • http://www.southsidejohnny.com/ Jukesgrrl

      Yes, the priest thing is another reason why I don't think this incident will really prove to be all that scandalous for the sheriff. All the enforcement-obsessed Mexican haters down here are using that as the reason it's OK to keep around a gay person they would normally have shunned. "It's not his fault he's gay," is a sentence I'm hearing around here a lot. Teh ghey is a disease one catches from Catholics, dint ya know?

      • ttommyunger

        But hypocrisy, that is transmitted by contact with Republicans, right?

        • http://www.southsidejohnny.com/ Jukesgrrl

          Which is why I have special disdain for Catholic Republicans.I fail to believe Jesus would have approved of the GOP.

          • ttommyunger

            …or the Roman Catholic Church, for that matter.

          • http://www.southsidejohnny.com/ Jukesgrrl

            WHAT?!You don't like Prada slippers??

          • ttommyunger

            No, but the Big Hat is way cool!

  • C_R_Eature

    Another one? Will these be a weekly occurrence, then?

    Some day, Rick Santorum will be found by the Police passed out on top of an underage male Dominican prostitute in a motel room in Breezewood, PA, surrounded by empty Amyl Nitrate poppers, crushed tubes of K-Y, frighteningly large Rubber Protuberances, a latex Gorilla mask and an 8 X 10 color photo of Breitbart and Riley.

    And I will Laugh.

    • http://www.southsidejohnny.com/ Jukesgrrl

      P for the Breezewood reference. Made nationally famous by Dr. Thompson, but previously a legend to those of us who grew up in Pittsburgh.

      • C_R_Eature

        Thanks! It sure sounds like a pretty place but… eeeech.

        The Good Doctor also made famous the improbably-named Pennsylvania town of Jersey Shore.

      • C_R_Eature

        Well, I was searching for Snark Ammunition to beat up on Breezewood with, but I had to abandon the project when I found This: The Best Yelp Review Ever, End Of Story.

        Seriously, this has to be seen to be believed. I am in Awe.
        I wonder if he's one of us?

        • http://www.southsidejohnny.com/ Jukesgrrl

          "… through pluck or cabal, you have survived …"

          I vote for cabal. And I'd put money on the fact that the owner of the Family House is part of it. Maybe the author was on his way to Pittsburgh for the University's renowned writing program. I once had a poet literally kowtow to me when I mentioned I was from Pittsburgh. "It's the poetry capital of America," he gasped. Would he have had the nerve to say that had someone from Iowa City been present?

    • leek801

      Don't be talking smack about Breezewood, man.

  • BarackMyWorld

    New campaign slogan:
    Illegal Immigrants Suck.

    • littlebigdaddy

      If you treat them right and/or threaten them with deportation.

  • littlebigdaddy

    In fairness to Walnuts, Miss Lindsey vetted Babeau back in '08. She said he was "very butch," which did not mean what Walnuts thought it meant.

  • http://wonkette.com Pres.Beeblebrox

    In other Republican gay news,

    Santorum Tops Romney in National Poll

    At least that was the headline when I clicked on it.

    Funny, I would have guessed Mitt was a pitcher, not a catcher.

    • littlebigdaddy

      It's good to see things coming to a head!

  • KeepFnThatChicken

    On the brighter side, no anchor babies.

    Too soon?

  • tessiee

    The person in the lower left corner of the illustration has beautiful green eyes.
    They've got an eagle nose, though.

  • Steverino247

    You know, the civil rights violation trial (abuse under color of authority) should feature some really interesting testimony. And if that's not a crime, what about forcing a domestic partner to stay in an abusive relationship by threats like deportation. I'd love to be running against this asshole in a congressional election.

    • SorosBot

      Indeed, a lot of abusive guys go after foreign woman because they can use their immigration status as a threat to force the women to stay with them; that a gay abusive douchbag would do the same is not that surprising I guess.

      • Loaded_Pants

        When I first heard of this story, I had the horrifying thought that who knows what sort of awful things "Jose" may have had to do under threat of deportation.

  • FakaktaSouth

    What up with the self hating Mexican dude though? I have never had a guy that absolutely fucking hates women so much they have made a career out of it (ie, a Catholic priest or Republican Presidential candidate or something) hit on me, but if they did, I would tell them no thank you. But otherwise, this (mccain commercial affiliation) has made my day. I will raise my President's Day/Kid's 5th birthday margarita in your honor Jose, and hope your next bf likes you in public.

    • Biff

      5 years old? Time to hit the want ads, for the jerbs.

    • http://www.southsidejohnny.com/ Jukesgrrl

      I trust you won't let your child grow up to be a president. It's not something a completely sane person would want as a career (sorry Hopey, but you do have father issues, like most of them).

      • FakaktaSouth

        I think her father is way too involved and interested in her well being for her to make it to the presidency. None of my 3 kids are probably going to do much as far as trying to prove anything to anybody. We've been WAY too free with the bullshit love and care for you just cause your ours nonsense. They'll probably all be really self satisfied failures like their stay at home Mom (if they can find somebody with some cash to support them though, it works out! And that's MOSTLY the same as running for Pres at least! So, hooray!)

        • http://www.southsidejohnny.com/ Jukesgrrl

          You're doing what I call God's work, not that crap Santorum claims is God's work.Your children will be intelligent, fulfilled, and no doubt vote for good public servants.What more could their fellow Americans want from them … and you.

  • Arken

    http://gayhomophobe.com/ is a handy reference for these scandals.

  • http://wonkette.com/ starfanglednut

    Oh, please. Wake me when a heterosexual, faithful to his wife, non tax cheating, drug free, non illegal immigrant hiring, non racist, non corporate cock sucking whore republican proposes legislation that will lead to actual jobs rather than the oppression of women, the blahs, browns,gheyz, and the poor and/ or bombing brown people.

    • Geminisunmars

      Get ready for a nice long nap.

    • http://www.southsidejohnny.com/ Jukesgrrl

      What do you think this is, land of the free, home of the brave?

  • MrsBiggTime

    Oh, Arizona! You're dangerous with all your crazy and you just can't keep a secret, but… Why can't I quit you?

  • SheriffRoscoe

    Complete the danged blowjob.

  • prommie

    I am hearing the Soft Cel version, "Babeu, Babeu, where did our love go. . . ."

  • Dashboard Buddha

    You know…he looks a lot like Rick Scott. Say, you don't think…

  • Biff

    Busy day at the Walker Recall dungeon.

    • C_R_Eature

      Why is everyone naked?

  • C_R_Eature

    "Bald-Headed Babeu, King of the Plookers!"

    • HarryButtle

      Protruberences? Plookers? You've been hangin' around Joe's Garage, haven't you?

      • C_R_Eature

        It's a Way of Life. Moo-Ah.

        Reet-toot-teet-toot-teet-toot-tee-too-tee-too-tee!

      • Biff

        Where's my Stratocaster with a whammy bar?

  • UnholyMoses

    Two thoughts:

    1. Good to see Wonkette covering buttsechs again, if in a slightly different … manner.

    2. When did Arizona become the Kansassippi of the Southwest? Or has it always been like that and I just missed it?

    • SorosBot

      I think it's the Florida of the West Coast, similarly filed with crazed retired old people. Plus there's the heat; it brings out the crazy.

      • UnholyMoses

        Hmmm … I like the idea of West Florida(TM).

        Also, too: Perhaps the lack of humidity dries out their brains (well, what they have of them) in Arizona, while the high humidity in Florida makes their brains rot.

        Seasons — More important than realized!

        • http://www.southsidejohnny.com/ Jukesgrrl

          Love that West Florida … I'm stealin' that.

    • Antispandex

      Arizona is much different. In the south, when you are butt pumping your "boyfriend", you have an actual gun to his head. Not a deportation order. That's red state romance.

  • sezme

    Today we are all ostensibly straight guys with an unquenchable thirst for the semen of illegal Mexican men. Or is that just Rick Perry?

  • mavenmaven

    I can hear his mother going "and you couldn't just find a nice boy at CPAC?"
    At any rate, the worst part of this story is this prick trying to deport his partner. What a prick. A lying GOP homophobe prick.

  • mavenmaven

    Wow, times have changed, just went through all the comments and there's not a single Marcus Bachmann reference!

    • fuflans

      closeted husband of irrelevant hasbeen is irrelevant.

  • Lambchop66

    How do you say "I will suck you off as needed" in Spanish?

  • CivicHoliday

    Rick Perry has dibs on sloppy seconds

  • http://www.eloquentscience.com EloquentScience

    Never send a Sheriff to do a Mexican's job.

  • Antispandex

    Hmmm…I'm wondering how long it will be until the, "this type of digging into ones personal sex life is what is wrong with American politics, and makes people not want to be part of the process", stories start to appear. Because everyone knows your sex life should be personal…if you are a Teapublican. Right, Newt?

    • http://www.southsidejohnny.com/ Jukesgrrl

      It already started, five minutes after the story broke. And five minutes after that the "It's not his fault he was molested by a priest" meme put a bow on their excuse … dare I say … package.

  • rickmaci

    This is just another story about a sleeze ball TeaTard. He was running against an incumbent RepTard and did not have a chance in hell of getting elected. His failed campaign won't change the congressional map or have any impact on the general election. Move along folks, keep moving, nothing to see here…

  • C_R_Eature

    All right…the Sheriff is a hypocrite, but at least he isn't Near.

  • owhatever

    Sheriff Paul: Where were you at 2 a.m. on the night of June 13?
    Jose: Dancing with you at El Matador, Paul. Don't you remember? Cry.

  • missemish

    In a perfect world Santorum would get caught in a scandal just like Babeu, except his would be with a male Arab atheist evolutionary anthropologist.

    • fuflans

      that would be fine, but not til after the convention.

    • littlebigdaddy

      I am half those things, but would not touch santorum with a ten-foot suction tube.

  • http://dismalpseudoscientist.wordpress.com Negligently_Joe

    It's worth pointing out that under Arizona's SB 1070, Babeu would have been required by law to verify Jose's immigration status while picking him up. And, also, too, any resident of Arizona can sue the county and state for his failing to do so (hint, hint).

  • http://www.youtube.com/user/FlipOffResearch FlipOffResearch

    Ha ha, I just searched Drudge for the name Babeu, and nothing came up. So I helpfully sent the link to this post to his tip jar.

  • arihaya

    Sheriff Babeu just trying to prove his hard stance on illegal immigrants

    … hard, wide stance

  • http://www.southsidejohnny.com/ Jukesgrrl

    You'd think this Babeu story would be big news in Southern Arizona's largest newspaper, but meh. Today's Arizona Daily Star has it in the far bottom corner. The big headline is, "Supersized Ants Provide Evolutionary Clues." No shit.

    • Negropolis

      Evolution?! Blasphemy!

      • http://www.southsidejohnny.com/ Jukesgrrl

        I didn't read the article … maybe the clue is “no such thing.”Not that it would surprise me.

  • fuflans

    god. just watching 15 seconds of walnuts was too much.

    how did we make it thru 2008? oh right. wonkette and alcohol.

  • Juicy_Stalin

    That's one job I'm glad the Mexicans are stealing…

  • http://sciencekick.blogspot.com valthemus

    Once again the lefty lib elites are bleating about "Hypocrisy!" an' some junk and completely overlooking the vital significance of the Sheriff's core message: "I look pretty damn fine wearing nothing but pair of boxer shorts!"

  • poorgradstudent

    Crap like this makes me want to do a remake of CALIGULA, but with members of our current imperial court instead.

  • Biff

    Babeu is on deck at CNN, should be interesting to see how he gets along with teh Wolf.

  • http://www.facebook.com/pages/Johnny-Appletruth/133951326629923?sk=wall deanbooth

    No way!

  • NYNYNYjr

    Original end to that video:
    Barbeau: Senator, you're one of us.
    McCain: Yes, a sodomite.
    Barbeau: This is where the holes are, Senator. [They both approach fence and stick their dicks through the holes.]
    Voiceover: I'm John Mccain and I approve this message

    Of course, that made the ad 45 seconds and they needed to cut it to 30, so they just put a freeze fram after 'one of us'

  • a_pink_poodle

    Is anyone really surprised that a right-winger is secretly gay? The sky is blue, water is wet, prominent right-wingers are secretly gay!

    • littlebigdaddy

      Yes, but it is the triple-lutz of him being "strongly" anti-immigrant that raises it to a higher aesthetic plain.

  • horsedreamer_1

    (Hit me…) Babeu, one more time.

  • Veritas78

    Okay, now we're making up shit to feel good about ourselves and our chances.

  • miss_grundy

    How would you pronounce Pinal, would it be penal or penile??????????

    • littlebigdaddy

      I keep thinking pineal, as in Hunter S. Thompson in Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas.

  • http://sickrantorum.com KenLayIsAlive

    build the dang fence around my butthole!

  • Loaded_Pants

    Probably were some small holes.

  • 5thstate

    Yeah but…."won't somebody please think about the fence!"

    I mean really!

    PERSPECTIVE, people!

    Deep Authoritative Voice Over Closing Credits: Sherriff Barbaeaus gay mexican lover remains at-large, but like John' McCains "danged fence", THIS professional law enforcement officer wont rest until he sees his gay mexican lover is deprted as effectively and all the other mexican gay lovers obviously are, otherwise there'd be a lot more of this kind of thing going on….and…ummm….yeah this series has run its course…othing to see folks, move along now…just move along…don;t make me use the pepper spary!.

  • Negropolis

    I do not even want to imagine what Jan Brewer's gay sex scandal will look like…

  • http://johnnyzhivago.blogspot.com johnnyzhivago

    Pretty soon "straight Republican" is going to be a common oxymoron like"military intelligence" or "jumbo shrimp"

  • http://johnnyzhivago.blogspot.com johnnyzhivago

    In the ad, Sheriff Paul seems pretty hot over the idea of bringing "troops" into his county, but wasn't DADT still in effect then???

  • http://johnnyzhivago.blogspot.com johnnyzhivago

    All the deputies were getting suspicious when Babeu picked "Cats" as the prison musical this year.

  • Biel_ze_Bubba

    Let's not forget everybody's favorite!

    • emmelemm

      Damn! Original gangsta skullet!

  • slongo

    puh-NAWL or puh-NEHL oh I’m fun at parties

  • jus_wonderin

    "A cock a day, keeps the _____________ away."

  • SexySmurf
  • http://krisbunda.com/blog/index.php Designer_Rants

    Here's as close as I've seen: http://gayhomophobe.com/

  • Barb

    (menstrual cycle)

  • Biel_ze_Bubba

    craving?

  • tessiee

    boredom

  • tessiee

    lesbians

  • SorosBot

    At least if Santorum gets his way and basic preventive medical care is denied to women.

  • Mojopo

    Just bookmarked it. I get tired of counting. This could be an app I would buy.

  • http://krisbunda.com/blog/index.php Designer_Rants

    Oops, I see you beat me to it by a minute.

  • tessiee

    but you're such a good listener!
    …At least I assume you are, from your avatar picture.

  • doloras

    If the submissive partner is gagged, one may let them hold a bunch of keys or similar, and the "safe word" is dropping the keys. Er, so I'm told.

  • Biel_ze_Bubba

    You can learn a lot on the internet, I know … but that's starting to sound like expertise.