IT JUST SLIGHTLY IS  2:40 pm February 20, 2012

Breitbart Shill Wonders: How Is An Ultrasound Different Than Sex?

by Liz Colville

Dana Loesch, an unpleasant creature who works for both CNN and Andrew Breitbart, has stolen the best joke from the world’s worst comedian and delivered it as a non-joke on her radio show, Burping Hour With Dana Loesch. Regarding the whole Virginia pre-abortion, look-at-the-proto-baby-growing-inside-you probing matter, Loesch asks how an unwanted probative ultrasound is different than the sex a woman had in order to then be punished with that probative ultrasound? Then Loesch took to Twitter to call out Little Green Footballs’ Charles Johnson for calling a spade a spade, which yielded more things that aren’t jokes or funny, but for that reason are funny.

First, here is Loesch transforming into a high-pitched voice in order to imitate liberal women, and then, proving that she has never Gotten Any from anything other than a tampon or Ann Coulter’s probing eyes, Loesch asking how a plastic device with imaging capabilities is really so different from a penis:

Then when Charles Johnson wrote to Loesch on Twitter, quoting her exact words, this lady responded:

Sandwich-board-is-a-computer. Good one! And also, WHAT?

Then she called Johnson a child molester.

A secret anonymous loser apparently made this same argument about unwanted plastic electronic non-vibrating vaginal penetration during the discussion of the bill last week, so maybe Loesch should just embrace her babble instead of calling people pedophiles when they remind her of it having been uttered?

But anyway, if this two-timing of two sad media outlets fails, Loesch has a Business Plan!

Oh good! [Little Green Footballs / ThinkProgress]

 
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{ 324 comments }

Barb February 20, 2012 at 2:26 pm

I dunno, Breitbart. What is the difference if your doctor uses the spade end of a shovel to do your prostate exam?

MrFizzy February 20, 2012 at 2:59 pm

Breitbart's prostate is on top of his neck.

Angry_Marmot February 20, 2012 at 3:20 pm

I can see the scar!

tessiee February 20, 2012 at 3:49 pm

Um… I don't know…
He'd enjoy it more?

MaxUdargo February 20, 2012 at 4:35 pm

Look, this isn't complicated. There's no need to bring gardening tools into it.

If a woman chooses to let some guy stick his penis in her vagina (let's say the guy is her husband, just to avoid any digressions), and then the next day she is raped by some stranger, she shouldn't complain. If she was willing to let a penis into her vagina the day before, then why should she object to some other guy involuntarily inserting a penis into her vagina?

Don't you see? If you allow a penis into your vagina, then you can't complain when other people stick other things in your vagina. That's just pure liberal hypocrisy right there.

DaRooster February 20, 2012 at 5:12 pm

Don't forget that if she allows herself to be raped… she should be stoned to death, you know like in the Bible.

Yea!! Christian!!

tessiee February 21, 2012 at 12:09 am

NO-body is to stone ANY-body — even if, and I want to make this perfectly clear, even if they DO say "Jehovah"!

arcadesproject February 20, 2012 at 6:18 pm

hooo boy andrew and dana must be having some absolutely terrible sex. i mean, i've had lovers who were not exactly great but shit….i'm on the point of feeling sorry for these critters.

nounverb911 February 20, 2012 at 2:27 pm

If mankind is lucky, Loesch and Coulter will never conceive.

ManchuCandidate February 20, 2012 at 2:46 pm

So who's the man in that relationship?

KeepFnThatChicken February 20, 2012 at 2:56 pm

All of them, Katie.

Lascauxcaveman February 20, 2012 at 2:52 pm

If mankind is lucky, Loesch and Coulter will never conceive.

It wouldn't matter much, any issue from that stock would wither and die almost immediately from the poisonous atmosphere.

tessiee February 20, 2012 at 3:50 pm

"AAaahh! The daylight! It burns!"
*sizzle*

rickmaci February 20, 2012 at 3:52 pm

Mann Coulter is 51 so she probably is out of the game. Dingbat Loesch already has 2 seeds. Win some, lose some.

KeepFnThatChicken February 20, 2012 at 5:56 pm

51? She doesn't look a day over surgery.

rickmaci February 20, 2012 at 6:20 pm

Are you trying to say she looks good for 51 year old tranny?

ttommyunger February 20, 2012 at 2:33 pm

Typical selective beliefs. She quotes one verse of the Bible in tattoo form while ignoring the prohibition against tattooing or marking the body (look it up, I'm not paid to educate you). Also, nice try with the Jolly Roger bullshit. Those of us over 70 know an SS Death's Head when we see one and we get the message loud and clear, cunt.

Callyson February 20, 2012 at 4:34 pm

Got curious and checked it out:
Ye shall not make any cuttings in your flesh for the dead, nor print any marks upon you: I am the LORD.
Leviticus 19:28
Um, OK…
Though, the God *I* believe in wouldn't mind if Coultergeist and this other beeyatch cut themselves up…

ttommyunger February 20, 2012 at 7:05 pm

You get the Gold Star, Cally. Thanks. ;)

Biel_ze_Bubba February 20, 2012 at 8:54 pm

"…nor print any marks upon you…"

Hmm… I wonder if Palin gets sent to Hell for writing pointless talking points on her hands? Excuse me while I go check this out with Legal…

Dashboard_Jesus February 21, 2012 at 12:37 am

y'mean you got LAWYERS down there. who'd a guessed that?

Biel_ze_Bubba February 21, 2012 at 12:59 am

Batallions, divisions, whole armies of 'em.

tessiee February 20, 2012 at 4:37 pm

It's true that Leviticus 19:28 forbids tattooing (which would, by definition, make it an awesome tattoo!), but Leviticus 19:27 forbids mullets ("You shall not cut the hair on the sides of your head"), which makes it the second-best bible verse EVAR!! The best, of course, being, "Obadiah tied his ass to a tree and walked 40 leagues".

ttommyunger February 20, 2012 at 7:08 pm

I prefer the “Adultery is OK with God” verse in the Bible. I used to insert that phrase between the pages of the ever-present Gideon Bible in motel rooms on a piece of paper to help persuade reluctant lovers.

Dashboard_Jesus February 21, 2012 at 1:20 am

srsly? that is so many kinds of awesome…I might THINK of doing sometihng like that but never follow thru (basically I'm too lazy, maybe I needed some o' that military discipline?)

ttommyunger February 21, 2012 at 6:19 am

That was the 50's. Such persuasion is not needed today. The agreement for sex is settled long before one reaches a motel these days.

Negropolis February 20, 2012 at 11:19 pm

I've always loved seeing Bible verses on people just because of the irony.

tessiee February 21, 2012 at 12:13 am

If I were ever going to have a bible bumper sticker, etc., it would be Matthew 6:5.

For those who are not familiar, it says:
"“And when you pray, do not be like the hypocrites, for they love to pray standing in the synagogues and on the street corners to be seen by others. Truly I tell you, they have received their reward in full. But when you pray, go into your room, close the door and pray to your Father, who is unseen. Then your Father, who sees what is done in secret, will reward you."

Dashboard_Jesus February 21, 2012 at 1:22 am

ahhhh, sweet, sweet irony…too bad it's lost on most people (maybe due to the lack of edumakashun, in r skoolz?)

ttommyunger February 21, 2012 at 6:11 am

Naturally the owners see no irony whatever, as usual.

Dashboard_Jesus February 21, 2012 at 1:24 am

ttommy, Love it when you quote the Babble AND talk dirty all in the same commentary, religious sexy talk really turns me on (and yes, even though I never heard of this bitch I can tell by the twit's twats she's a cunt)

ttommyunger February 21, 2012 at 6:18 am

Why do you think men scream for God when they cum? I can't help but think Jeebus got his groove on with young Mary, prolly was married to her. Come to Earth and check it out but don't dip your toes in THAT water? I don't think so. Hope you're a shemale, but it's OK if not; nice to turn somebody on at my age.

ManchuCandidate February 20, 2012 at 2:42 pm

For one the ultrasound takes longer than 5 seconds, Dana.

LabRodent February 20, 2012 at 2:59 pm

stop bragging Manchu!

DrOzarkZ.Hellbender February 20, 2012 at 5:46 pm

Me scan you long time!

Biel_ze_Bubba February 20, 2012 at 2:45 pm

No surprise here. The subtle difference between consensual sex and rape has always baffled Republicans.

Guppy February 20, 2012 at 3:24 pm

And why not? The closest Moses came to dealing with consent is pardoning an "adulteress" if she cried out for help.

memzilla February 20, 2012 at 2:47 pm

Anagrams of "Dana Loesch" include:

No Cad Heals; Eh, Anal Docs; Chaos Laden; and Scandal Hoe.

Designer_Rants February 20, 2012 at 3:09 pm

Scandal Hoe!. But can we use that for Coulter, too? Even if the letters are different?

gurukalehuru February 20, 2012 at 3:20 pm

Ann Coulter is No Real Cunt

MadBrahms February 20, 2012 at 5:28 pm

Lies.

Loaded_Pants February 20, 2012 at 8:28 pm

Heh. The first one I got was "Unclean Rot".

Sounds right.

CountryClubJihadi February 20, 2012 at 2:48 pm

Gee, I hope they make a butt-plug with imaging capabilities so she can find her head.

sati_demise February 20, 2012 at 5:21 pm

oh fuck it snap!

EloquentScience February 20, 2012 at 2:49 pm

"Burping Hour"

I spit up my milk when I read that, Liz. Good one.

mavenmaven February 20, 2012 at 2:49 pm

After all, if a woman is a victim of incest or rape, why not have the experience re-enacted by some medical techs in Virginia who probably feel they also ought to punish her for wanting an abortion? What's wrong with that?

John Birf Society February 20, 2012 at 2:49 pm

The probe won't brag about it on Facebook?

Blueb4sunrise February 20, 2012 at 2:51 pm

It's the dick-cam!!

Crank_Tango February 20, 2012 at 6:33 pm

I saw that in a porn once. Some japanese dude was using it to make sure there wasn't any poo poo in the poop chute before the buttsex. I think Old Dana needs a session, now that I think of it.

Loaded_Pants February 20, 2012 at 8:24 pm

I can see the practicality of such a device.

Negropolis February 20, 2012 at 11:29 pm

So clean, so tidy, the Japanese are.

slowhansolo February 20, 2012 at 2:51 pm

The sex thing, how does it work?

prommie February 20, 2012 at 3:03 pm

Cock goes in, cock goes out, noone can explain it.

chicken_thief February 20, 2012 at 3:29 pm

For her, rarely.

anniegetyerfun February 20, 2012 at 2:51 pm

What's a va ja ja? Some sort of German game show?

IceCreamEmpress February 20, 2012 at 3:16 pm

It comes on right after "Numberwang!"

Maman February 20, 2012 at 3:34 pm

It is a segment on Sprocket

tessiee February 20, 2012 at 4:38 pm

I found it bourgeois.

Biff February 20, 2012 at 6:37 pm

Jah, the part where we dance.

horsedreamer_1 February 20, 2012 at 8:48 pm

Kyle Mc Lachlan Libel!

coolhandnuke February 20, 2012 at 3:50 pm

Va Ja Ja was the talented Gabor sister.

Loaded_Pants February 20, 2012 at 6:41 pm

Oh, so that's why I never heard of her…

RadioSBJ February 20, 2012 at 3:58 pm

It's on right after "Nein! Nein! Nein!"

C_R_Eature February 20, 2012 at 3:59 pm

From Virginia!

mercianomad February 20, 2012 at 2:52 pm

Why does Coulter have a lobster dangling from her neck in that picture? Yeesh, as if she weren't already scary enough.

Designer_Rants February 20, 2012 at 3:13 pm

Let that be a lesson to the rest of you arthropods!

weej_bain February 20, 2012 at 3:13 pm

It's trying to kill her. Remember the Maine

tessiee February 20, 2012 at 3:54 pm

I'm no expert, but I think that may be the discarded carapace of her larval stage.

MrFizzy February 20, 2012 at 3:54 pm

That's one of the Santorum fetuses.

C_R_Eature February 20, 2012 at 4:00 pm

That's her Alien Brain Reptile. It just couldn't take it anymore.

RadioSBJ February 20, 2012 at 4:01 pm

Duh, it's a strap-on ultrasound probe.

Biel_ze_Bubba February 20, 2012 at 4:05 pm

It's a large scorpion, I think. Whatever … it gives the viewer something pleasant to look at.

MrFizzy February 20, 2012 at 4:56 pm

or less unpleasant

UnholyMoses February 20, 2012 at 2:52 pm

Dana and the rest of the right might wanna look up the definition of "consent."

I realize it might be confusing for someone like her who has never has the chance to do so, but it matters to a few tens of millions of women.

SorosBot February 20, 2012 at 3:08 pm

It doesn't matter; to them all unapproved sex is wrong and rape is morally on the same level as cheating. Fuck them with a chainsaw.

Sheesko February 20, 2012 at 5:41 pm

…with a chain saw on full throttle.

Fixed.

weej_bain February 20, 2012 at 3:16 pm

Isn't the Rethug definition of "consent" mean when the man says yes? 'Cept when the man is blah, then it's get the rope.

Maman February 20, 2012 at 3:37 pm

As someone who has to "consent" every time I get felt up by the TSA, I can tell you that real consent is supposed to be given willingly. Not coerced by the state.

tessiee February 20, 2012 at 3:55 pm

"who has to "consent" every time I get felt up by the TSA"

Do you travel a lot, or do you just have very specific dating habits?

tessiee February 20, 2012 at 4:40 pm

Dana and the rest of the right might wanna look up the definition of "consent.""

"Get off me, Daddy, you're crushing my cigarettes!"

TanzbodenKoenig February 20, 2012 at 2:52 pm

How is a Breitbart hack different than a respectable journalist?

Loaded_Pants February 20, 2012 at 3:27 pm

Dana translated: Two things that are completely different are actually the same!

prommie February 20, 2012 at 2:52 pm

Yes, yes, they are dumbass lame desperate apologists for a conservative movement based on nothing but hate, jingoism, zenophobia, anti-intellectualism and religious fanatacism, and yes, their desperate analogies and idiotic arguments in support of the insupportable are stupid and ridiculous, but sometimes, its just tiresome to even go through all the details of why they are stupid, and lame, and desperate, and sad and pathetic. I like it better when something exciting happens, like they get run over by a truck, thats way better than when they just open their mouths and blurt out something complicatedly and pervasively stupid. Thats just what they do.

jus_wonderin February 20, 2012 at 3:22 pm

"get run over by a truck."

I'd actually stop to gawk at that.

FakaktaSouth February 20, 2012 at 3:32 pm

I totally get that. I'll do it anyway though. I would like to show this lady what the difference between this and sex is. I don't like people with vaginas making cash off belittling and stirring shit up for those of us who actually like ours. Because that's all it is. She's a whore of a different color. She sucks. In the bad way.

prommie February 20, 2012 at 3:49 pm

I'd like to show her the grille of a Peterbilt dump truck. For just a second, before it flattens her.

tessiee February 20, 2012 at 3:57 pm

Teh stupid I could maybe deal with; after all, I'm told that stupid people can't help it; it's the relentless stupid, always combined with the relentless evil, that gives me the heebie-jeebies.

RadioSBJ February 20, 2012 at 4:10 pm

"Get run over by a truck"

Michael O'Donoghue is that you?

tessiee February 20, 2012 at 4:43 pm

Why do I think that if Michael O'Donoghue were alive today, he'd be a Republican?
Oh, right; he was a loony sadist with massive anger issues.

KeepFnThatChicken February 20, 2012 at 6:00 pm

No, wait. I take it back. It's permissible to laugh at Sarah Palin forever. Just like there is no getting over how good "Fuck You" by Ceelo Green is.

GeneralLerong February 20, 2012 at 7:05 pm

Aw, c'mon, prommie, you have more imagination than that.

Run over by a steam-roller! Yeah! Stuck to the asphalt like a popped grape!

Oh. Not every has one in their garage, for when they take summer trips to the mountains? Well, how about we hire paving crews to follow conservative goons around? So many industrial accidents, so sad.

cheaphits February 20, 2012 at 2:53 pm

"disgusting, creepy old sandwich-board-is-a-computer pervert."

"I'm going to monetize all of the hate Tweets for Mailbag of Hate. "

The crazy is very strong here.

Barrelhse February 20, 2012 at 4:29 pm

Kinda edgy, ain't she?
Whoooo.

UnholyMoses February 20, 2012 at 2:55 pm

Shorter Dana Loeschohhoweveryouspellit:

Quoting my exact words when they make me me look like an idiot makes you a child molester. SOTHERENANNYNANNYBOOBOO!!

CNN should give her a raise and a primetime show.

ADDED: Yes, I'm aware of all Internet traditions.

anniegetyerfun February 20, 2012 at 3:04 pm

Comments were not meant to be factual statements, obvs.

UnholyMoses February 20, 2012 at 3:59 pm

Not even duplicate ones?

(It'd be awesome if you edited the second to remove the "not.")

Goonemeritus February 20, 2012 at 2:55 pm

Even though I’m a guy I support the convention that permission needs to be given before anyone enters other people’s orifices.

AnAmericanInTO February 20, 2012 at 4:15 pm

You know, I hate getting a stupid Pap smear: it's awkward, it's invasive and it pinches a very sensitive area of my body. BUT, at least it has a purpose and my doctor isn't just doing it to me to be a dick and teach me a lesson.

Biel_ze_Bubba February 20, 2012 at 4:15 pm

That's a wise position to take. Guys have orifices too.
This is going to matter as soon as they catch the first airplane Rectum-Bomber.

I truly wish I was joking.

flamingpdog February 20, 2012 at 8:41 pm

Think of how much money it'll save Obamacare if the TSA has to fund a sigmoidoscopy for everyone that boards an airplane.

Loaded_Pants February 20, 2012 at 10:59 pm

First there was the "Underwear Bomber" now THIS.

edgydrifter February 20, 2012 at 2:56 pm

As long as you accept the notion that any man has the right to stick whatever he wants wherever he wants to whenever it strikes his fancy, Dana Loesch makes sense.

prommie February 20, 2012 at 2:57 pm

Oh, and if someone wants to send Dana over here to where I am, I will gladly demonstrate for her the difference between vigorous ass-fucking and a colonoscopy.

Katydid February 20, 2012 at 3:37 pm

That's the Prommie I love!

Limeylizzie February 20, 2012 at 7:22 pm

You are a national treasure.

LabRodent February 20, 2012 at 2:57 pm

Its like im stuck in a really bad sitcom.

Sheesko February 20, 2012 at 5:44 pm

You are. Sorry, but we needed a koros.

MrFizzy February 20, 2012 at 2:57 pm

Sounds like someone who looks forward to a colonoscopy.

jus_wonderin February 20, 2012 at 3:23 pm

"Everyone Probed Raymond"?

SorosBot February 20, 2012 at 2:58 pm

Of course to these misogynist morons, once a woman has had sex once she's therefore a slut and anything going in her vagina is OK regardless of whether she wants it or not. Fucknuts.

prommie February 20, 2012 at 3:06 pm

You can sense it, can't you, she means to insult the woman who actually let a penis inside her, "eww, how disgsuting, if you'd let a penis in you, you'd let anything in you, you whore."

LetUsBray February 20, 2012 at 3:10 pm

"Now, Coulter's spindly, bony fist – that's different."

GOPCrusher February 20, 2012 at 3:34 pm

Aw fuck. Now I have an image of Ann Coulter in a fisting session running around in my head.

SorosBot February 20, 2012 at 7:15 pm

Ewwww. The idea of Skeletor having any kind of sex is truly boner-killing.

Loaded_Pants February 20, 2012 at 6:43 pm

With Ann's sharp bony arms, that could definitely do some internal damage.

SorosBot February 20, 2012 at 3:34 pm

She's also jealous that the liberal women tend to find men who actually try to make sure the women they sleep with enjoy sex instead of just getting off themselves; we know what a clitoris is.

Geminisunmars February 20, 2012 at 4:23 pm

That's what I like about liberal men too.

GOPCrusher February 20, 2012 at 4:37 pm

Do they still work the way I remember them?
* sigh *

SorosBot February 20, 2012 at 7:17 pm

Oh, they work great, and make me wish I could have one. Still playing with them is very fun.

Loaded_Pants February 20, 2012 at 6:46 pm

tee hee…a straight male friend of mine calls it 'the bell clapper".

MissNancyPriss February 20, 2012 at 9:40 pm

Which one had sex with JJ from "Good Times"?

Jacqueline S. Homan February 27, 2012 at 11:01 am

Are you single and in my age range?

tessiee February 20, 2012 at 4:00 pm

Serves her right for having a vagina in the first place.
If she *really* didn't want to be penetrated by any yay-hoo with spare time, she'd have a schlong like Annie.

Negropolis February 20, 2012 at 11:53 pm

This is honestly what it boils down to.

At the very center of social conservatism is an anger at people who enjoy the pleasures allowed us by our sensese.

donner_froh February 20, 2012 at 2:58 pm

Sorry, dear but you can only monetize something that has an intrinsic value to someone.

Or you could just get Goldman Sachs to bundle all your hate twits into CDOs and have S&P rate them AAA. It worked a couple of years ago with a bunch of worthless shit.

Designer_Rants February 20, 2012 at 3:25 pm

Hahaha! And are we dumb enough to buy it twice? Yeah, probably.

Biel_ze_Bubba February 20, 2012 at 4:18 pm

Maybe not, but the guys running your pension plan will buy it, so long as it makes THEM rich.

Designer_Rants February 20, 2012 at 4:24 pm

Did you know that in 2008 we (globally) had almost 500 TRILLION dollars in outstanding derivatives contracts? WHAT DOES THAT EVEN MEAN?

Biel_ze_Bubba February 20, 2012 at 5:13 pm

Most of it's just hedging. Works fine, so long as the underlying asset (or index) don't implode. (If you could magically drop oil prices by 50% overnight, you'd blow up a hundred banks, funds, and trading firms.)

arihaya February 20, 2012 at 2:58 pm

this is almost as stupid as arguments against birth control and contraception made by Catholic priests and bishops who NEVER had a fucking sexxx in their fucking live ..

… unless, oh unless, these priests had Jerry Sandusky-style encounters before

Dudleydidwrong February 20, 2012 at 5:43 pm

"Ya no playa da game, you no makea da rules." I guess the Catholic hierarchy never heard of that.

Now with their little boys, it's different: Ya playa da game and there are no rules.

slowhansolo February 20, 2012 at 2:58 pm

"Please do not be alarmed. We are about to engage… the nozzle. Please do not move while the nozzle is engaging. Moving will disrupt calibration of… the nozzle. Please wait while we calibrate… the nozzle. Please do not look away from… the nozzle. The nozzle is now calibrating. … The nozzle is still calibrating. The nozzle has completed calibration. Thank you."

Guppy February 20, 2012 at 3:26 pm

What was that thing?

slowhansolo February 20, 2012 at 3:28 pm

I have no idea.

tessiee February 20, 2012 at 4:03 pm

Oh, OK. it's from something called the Venture Brothers.

bagofmice February 20, 2012 at 6:41 pm

It was, the nozzle.

Designer_Rants February 20, 2012 at 3:27 pm

I felt kinda rapedy after reading that.

LionHeartSoyDog February 20, 2012 at 3:31 pm

One-eyed Willie talks, also?

tessiee February 20, 2012 at 4:01 pm

Was that Kang or Kodos?

Negropolis February 20, 2012 at 11:57 pm

I feel like I need a shower, after reading that.

tessiee February 21, 2012 at 12:20 am

"I'm afraid I have no lube, Dave."

Steverino247 February 20, 2012 at 2:59 pm

Wait until Coulter is old enough to need regular prostate exams and see what the opinion will be then.

hollywooddood February 20, 2012 at 2:59 pm

Geez. I always head down to the ultrasound department at the hospital when I'm horny.

ElPinche February 20, 2012 at 2:59 pm

Does Dana know that Coulter's ultrasound probe is 9 inches long. ??

Designer_Rants February 20, 2012 at 3:27 pm

And the girth is startling.

smoothmineral February 20, 2012 at 3:00 pm

I love how this cunt combines the disgusting, lowbrow attempt at conservative humor of Limbaugh with the apoplectic whinyness of Breitbart.

Faux needs to give her an eponymous show, pronto!

MrFizzy February 20, 2012 at 4:38 pm

You have now succeeded in insulting cunts the world over. Good work.

tessiee February 21, 2012 at 12:22 am

"Faux needs to give her an eponymous show, pronto!"

they might, but the other semi-finalist is the alien reptile in the President's melon lady, so it's a tough call.

donner_froh February 20, 2012 at 3:00 pm

Who is this harpy?

fuflans February 20, 2012 at 3:23 pm

exactly.

tessiee February 20, 2012 at 4:04 pm

She's obviously one of those ugly, angry, bitter, man-hating liberal women that Repukes love to keep telling us about.

KeepFnThatChicken February 20, 2012 at 3:04 pm

When did we permit women to talk, anyway. Someone tell Dana my fucking sandwich is late.

BigDumbRedDog February 20, 2012 at 3:04 pm

Neither penis-based sex nor a good probing will ever hold a candle to that time the reptile alien in my brain made sweet, sweet love to me.

jus_wonderin February 20, 2012 at 3:27 pm

Did the Earth move?

Geminisunmars February 20, 2012 at 4:26 pm

It was humming an Al Green song, as I recall.

Loaded_Pants February 20, 2012 at 6:52 pm

Was it "I'm Hooked On You"?

tessiee February 21, 2012 at 12:22 am

Quite appropriate, since it *is* green.

CrunchyKnee February 20, 2012 at 3:05 pm

Dildo cams for Jesus!

BigDumbRedDog February 20, 2012 at 3:05 pm

I now know waaaaaay more than I ever wanted to about this twat's sex life.

Dashboard Buddha February 20, 2012 at 3:07 pm

She's right you know. There's almost no difference between making love with the hot dude you adore and a state mandated vaginal probing.

KeepFnThatChicken February 20, 2012 at 3:12 pm

lube is lube.

Dashboard Buddha February 20, 2012 at 3:08 pm

Hey now…lighten up on Dana. She's just tense and hasn't had her Coulter Adam's Apple massage.

SorosBot February 20, 2012 at 3:09 pm

So if a man has enjoyed having his balls fondled, he should also enjoy a quick kick to his balls; that's pretty much the same thing, right?

Pithaughn February 20, 2012 at 3:31 pm

Just in case you are serious:
What will I experience during and after the procedure?

Most ultrasound examinations are painless, fast and easy.
After you are positioned on the examination table, the radiologist or sonographer will apply some warm water-based gel on your skin and then place the transducer firmly against your body, moving it back and forth over the area of interest until the desired images are captured. There is usually no discomfort from pressure as the transducer is pressed against the area being examined.
If scanning is performed over an area of tenderness, you may feel pressure or minor pain from the transducer.
Once the imaging is complete, the gel will be wiped off your skin.
After an ultrasound examination, you should be able to resume your normal activities immediately.

Depending on who the sonographer is, I can easily imagine enjoying the procedure, especially the gel wiping on and off part.

tessiee February 20, 2012 at 4:14 pm

"What will I experience during and after the procedure?"

If being kicked in the groin really was a medical procedure, your doctor would tell you right up front to "expect some momentary discomfort".

HempDogbane February 20, 2012 at 3:48 pm

Yes, and soon to be mandated in Virginia.

Callyson February 20, 2012 at 4:47 pm

You're on a roll here…so to speak…

SorosBot February 20, 2012 at 7:23 pm

Ah, thanks.

flamingpdog February 20, 2012 at 9:04 pm

SorosBot – Wonkette's very own sesame seed!

(Said w/admiration, dude.)

anniegetyerfun February 20, 2012 at 3:09 pm

I wonder how the Tea Party will react to this ongoing argument. Seeing as how they care so deeply about personal liberty, and preventing cumbersome government legislation from impinging on an individual's freedom, I'm sure they'll be all over this like a racist white sheriff on a gay Mexican lover.

4TheTurnstiles February 20, 2012 at 3:29 pm

Tea party? http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_VxVtmHhOLM

They don't have positions, they have… issues

chicken_thief February 20, 2012 at 4:34 pm

Just build the danged website!

glamourdammerung February 20, 2012 at 6:15 pm

That is a joke, right?

Because one thing that conservatives, or whatever they are calling themselves this week, are not known for is consistency. Or logic. Or integrity, personal responsibility, etc.

anniegetyerfun February 20, 2012 at 6:21 pm

This is Wonkette. It's obviously not a joke. Jokers don't spend time on Wonkette.

glamourdammerung February 20, 2012 at 7:35 pm

It is hard to know if someone is joking or not whenever discussing movement conservatives at this point. As I have said, I am convinced that the Republican Party is really a German performance art group or possibly a Sacha Baron Cohen gag gone really, really sideways.

anniegetyerfun February 20, 2012 at 7:39 pm

I assumed you would know me better by now.

Jukesgrrl February 20, 2012 at 3:20 pm

What is it about the name Dana? Dana Loesch, Dana Bash, Dana Perino, Dana Milbank. Maybe the name means "screw loose."

prommie February 20, 2012 at 3:25 pm

Their parents were fans of Dana Plato? Or Plato's retreat?

GOPCrusher February 20, 2012 at 3:37 pm

Of that list, I would probably bang Dana Perino.

flamingpdog February 20, 2012 at 9:10 pm

I hear when she orgasms it sounds like the bay of pigs.

tessiee February 20, 2012 at 4:15 pm

Like the names Rick, Scott, or Rick Scott.

DaRooster February 20, 2012 at 5:07 pm

Dana Carvey… good screws loose though.

Rotundo_ February 20, 2012 at 5:32 pm

Usually it means daddy wanted a boy, along with Danielle etc. Probably why she's taking it high hard and inside from Coultergeist. Daddy issues.

Sheesko February 20, 2012 at 5:46 pm

Dana Scully…

flamingpdog February 20, 2012 at 9:11 pm

Be right back!

Barrelhse February 20, 2012 at 7:11 pm

It's a typo on the birth certificate, supposed to be "Nada."

Oblios_Cap February 20, 2012 at 3:27 pm

Dana was probably whoring it up at CPAC w/ Newell, so there'll be a chance for her to try out the vaginal probe real soon.

tessiee February 20, 2012 at 4:17 pm

How much karmic awesomeness would there be if, next month, she were ten days late?

Biff February 20, 2012 at 7:03 pm

You think her white-powdered wig wearing hubby shared her with Newell?

gurukalehuru February 20, 2012 at 3:28 pm

Father Sandusky
dipping his shlong in the shite up a young boys derriere
what does he care?

fuflans February 20, 2012 at 3:29 pm

my bff tends to be a bit liberal conspiracy-ish, but damned if she isn't right about this:

barry and co have generated this contraception conversation very very deliberately.

if so that's quite a long game.

prommie February 20, 2012 at 3:46 pm

Oh he sure did, and its proving amazingly effective. Barry's minions are amassing a stockpile of quotes and video for use later.

anniegetyerfun February 20, 2012 at 4:23 pm

I would never have given Democrats the credit to come up with that plan. If they did, then it's truly brilliant.

Geminisunmars February 20, 2012 at 4:31 pm

"I would never have given Democrats the credit to come up with A plan." is more like it.

GOPCrusher February 20, 2012 at 4:46 pm

I'm sure they didn't. Give it another week, and they may wake up to the present the Republiklans have given them.
But then, I'm still waiting for them to make political hay out of Joe Barton apologizing to Tony Heyward for the President holding BP responsible for the Deepwater Horizon disaster.

Designer_Rants February 20, 2012 at 5:10 pm

You're not holding your breath are you? Are you?!

SoBeach February 20, 2012 at 5:00 pm

I seriously doubt the dems came up with it, but I'll sure give 'em credit for recognizing and capitalizing on it.

Right now all the prez has to do is throw the occasional log on the fire while he sits back and watches those putzes self-immolate.

Jukesgrrl February 20, 2012 at 5:19 pm

Who knew a vaginal probe was the seventh level of chess?

Beowoof February 20, 2012 at 3:29 pm

Since Dana used to Date Rush, the plastic probe may be her idea of great sex.

prommie February 20, 2012 at 3:47 pm

Dana is a pubescent dominican boy?

Geminisunmars February 20, 2012 at 4:31 pm

She used to be.

Callyson February 20, 2012 at 4:48 pm

That would explain why she can't tell the difference.

Rotundo_ February 20, 2012 at 5:41 pm

That's where I knew her from. Rusty probably never took her vaginally anyhow, and god knows she wouldn't have felt anything, excepting the weight.

Chillwillard February 20, 2012 at 3:30 pm

In all fairness, Dana probably can't tell the difference between an ultrasound probe and Ann Coulter's strap-on.

teebob2000 February 20, 2012 at 3:31 pm

"Wait — YOU'RE a cunt, too?? That's SOOOO cool, I'm a cunt!! What are the chances??"

Antispandex February 20, 2012 at 3:35 pm

Just because she could barely feel Ann Coulter's penis, is no excuse to force other women to have inserts they don't want. Besides, I think Ann would claim it wasn't the size of her penis that was lacking, but that Dana just has a HUGE beave.

Generation[redacted] February 20, 2012 at 3:38 pm

I'm sorry. None of what they said made any sense to me. Can someone explain it in terms of logic and reason?

prommie February 20, 2012 at 3:44 pm

Here's a try: Hateful scold Dana says "any slutty slut slut who lets penises in her cunt deserves to get raped by medical device." Normally hateful Little Green Footballs guy has a lucid interval, points out that this is bullshit. Dana rattles bars of her cage, throws feces at him, he throws feces back, monkey-house erupts in storm of shit-throwing.

FlownOver February 20, 2012 at 5:22 pm

Pick me up a bag of popcorn on your way.

SorosBot February 20, 2012 at 7:28 pm

Little Green Footballs actually went over to the sane, non-hateful side a few years back; it seems the crazy in wingnut land got a bit too much for him.

glamourdammerung February 20, 2012 at 7:31 pm

I'm sorry. None of what they said made any sense to me. Can someone explain it in terms of logic and reason?

Liars are mad about being called for telling lies, and told some more to try to deflect attention from their continued telling lies.

Loaded_Pants February 20, 2012 at 11:07 pm

Calling their critic(s) child molesters also works.

Negligently_Joe February 20, 2012 at 3:39 pm

Well, Loesch has a point, what exactly is the difference between consensual sexual congress between two people, and sticking objects into a lady's hoohaa against her consent and will, as a punative measure?

Wait, probably that "against her consent and will" part, right?

(Also too, 10-15 years and a permanent spot on the sex offender's registry.)

Dashboard Buddha February 20, 2012 at 3:39 pm

You know…she might not have had any good lovers, now that I think about it. In fact, they may have been so bad that having a medical technician fresh out of tech school probe around her lady parts might be the closest to ecstasy she has ever come.

JustPixelz February 20, 2012 at 3:39 pm

Hey, this is a fun game! Let's think of other constitutionally protected private acts the government can insert (ha ha) itself into.

If someone wants to vote, the government can mandate he or she make campaign contributions.

If someone wants to go on the radio (or internet) and say stupid things, the government should require he or she take an IQ test.

If someone wants to outlaw abortion, the government can mandate he or she adopt an otherwise unwanted child.

Jukesgrrl February 20, 2012 at 5:24 pm

If you want to be a TV political pundit, you first must have a camera shoved down your throat to make sure your larynx isn't socialist.

prommie February 20, 2012 at 3:41 pm

Liz, get an old edition of Fowler's Modern English Usage, and read up on "than" and "from." Less than, more than, different from. Pet pedantic peeve of the day brought to you by Gordon's Gin, the best GIn you can buy for less than $10 a liter.

tessiee February 20, 2012 at 4:24 pm

Gordon's Gin and Gilbey's Gin suffer from the same logical flaw: It should either be pronounced Gilbey's Gin or Jilbey's Jin.
(well, I did say that I was a self-important know-it-all)

Negropolis February 21, 2012 at 12:12 am

Gordon's Gin can go drink itself into fucking oblivion for all I care.

owhatever February 20, 2012 at 3:44 pm

Virginia Senate dodges the electronic argument by revising the statute to read "A two-by-four studded with nails shall be inserted in the woman's (that thing, you know what we're talking about but we don't want to be smutty). So, and therefore, when it is removed, resulting in horrible pain, she will understand what she will feel when having a baby and that an early abortion should be considered." Hey, guys, let's work on that last part a little more, huh? Bless you.

tessiee February 20, 2012 at 3:46 pm

Not to overshare, but I've had more than one internal ultrasound, and anyone who can't tell the difference between the way that feels and the way sex feels has had the most pathetic sex life on the planet, EVAR.

prommie February 20, 2012 at 4:24 pm

What, didn't they warm it for you?

GOPCrusher February 20, 2012 at 4:51 pm

No Johnny Mathis playing in the background?

imissopus February 20, 2012 at 10:55 pm

Maybe dim the fluorescent overheads and light some candles?

DaRooster February 20, 2012 at 5:47 pm

Should talk to Mrs. Santorum… I'm pretty sure.

fuflans February 20, 2012 at 3:47 pm

someone should tell ann that as women age, we generally find that shorter hair is more flattering.

tessiee February 20, 2012 at 4:25 pm

Bleaching it to the color of a brass cuspidor is usually not a good look, either.

C_R_Eature February 20, 2012 at 5:36 pm

Wait – that's a Woman?

Loaded_Pants February 20, 2012 at 6:25 pm

I always thought she wore it long to hide her freakishly-long neck.

C_R_Eature February 20, 2012 at 8:22 pm

I always thought she wore it long to hide the Alien Neck Parasite.

tessiee February 20, 2012 at 3:48 pm

Is this the same shitbag who said pepper spray was essentially a vegetable, essentially?

anniegetyerfun February 20, 2012 at 4:25 pm

No, that was Meyghynnmx from Fox.

glamourdammerung February 20, 2012 at 6:12 pm

This was the same shitbag that supports urinating on the corpses of anti-American terrorists. Too bad she lacks the basic intelligence to realize the problem in her "logic".

Loaded_Pants February 20, 2012 at 8:48 pm

"They hate us because of our freedom." Yeah right, not the fact that we strip them naked, make them form pyramids while we point & laugh, bomb the shit out of their families, torture, kill them & then piss on their corpses has anything to do with it.

fuflans February 20, 2012 at 3:57 pm

huh. another bagger lady all concerned with freedomz – and poking about in other ladies' private parts.

weird. it's almost like they're not really into the whole smaller government thing.

fuflans February 20, 2012 at 4:01 pm

we're almost at 2000 comments over on the other thread!

weej_bain February 20, 2012 at 4:16 pm

chascates pushed it over the top

DaRooster February 20, 2012 at 5:01 pm

Probably has something to do with 3 posts for the day….

TheRiverCharley February 20, 2012 at 4:04 pm

OMG I totally got a boner just THINKING about transvaginal ultrasounds.

tessiee February 20, 2012 at 4:26 pm

So did Ann.

TheRiverCharley February 20, 2012 at 4:06 pm

Plus, you don't have to wipe off your belly after the doctor pulls out.

jgibson233 February 20, 2012 at 4:07 pm

Ms. Loesch is a disgrace to humanity.

Dudleydidwrong February 20, 2012 at 5:56 pm

Yeah, but her monkey poo-throwing community really likes her.

imissopus February 20, 2012 at 10:53 pm

Humanity libel!

nonbeliever7 February 20, 2012 at 4:07 pm

I must be ignorant or lucky. Who is this loser Dana person and why is she a loser?

BarackMyWorld February 20, 2012 at 4:14 pm

Yet another rightwinger the media pays attention to because of her physical appearance and ability to say outrageous things, rather than because of her (non-existent) qualifications as a political analyst or her (also non-existent) expertise in public policy.

Jukesgrrl February 20, 2012 at 5:28 pm

You know, if one of those Sports Illustrated swimsuit models would adopt the meme about "an alien reptile that’s been lodged in the back of Obama's head," she'd have a career for life. Not just until she gains 20 pounds.

Shellwith2Ls February 20, 2012 at 4:16 pm

I'm just shocked that the right found an evil, brunette harpy as opposed to the blonde ones that staff their ranks. That's their ideal of diversity, I guess.

io9k9s February 20, 2012 at 4:13 pm

Has anyone else noticed Briebart goons trolling(monitoring) comment streams?

HelmutNewton February 20, 2012 at 4:19 pm

The GOP: Home of self-hating closeted gay men AND self-hating misogynist women.

tessiee February 20, 2012 at 4:21 pm

yeah, and if Tranny Annie doesn't want the duct tape ripping out her pubes, she shouldn't talk about women being punished, punished, punished for sex; because, as everyone knows, that causes her to pop a huge boner…
Excuse me for a moment, won't you?
*projectile vomits*

PS No offense to *actual* trannies.

C_R_Eature February 20, 2012 at 5:57 pm

Congratulations. Reading halfway through that made me throw up.

poncho_pilot February 20, 2012 at 7:38 pm

actual? factual?
is Annie a trannie?
an apple of Adam she bares.

a pundit? a pollster?
she leaves it unholstered.
and she's hung like a colt, not a mare.

mavenmaven February 20, 2012 at 4:25 pm

OT: Mitch Daniels making a Santorum joke: "history says the deeper the down, the sharper the up"

RadioSBJ February 20, 2012 at 4:30 pm

Hey Dana, suck my ultrasound probe.

Callyson February 20, 2012 at 4:31 pm

Loesch asking how a plastic device with imaging capabilities is really so different from a penis
For those deluded women who get with Republican men, I'm sure it's not very different at all…
Bitch.

SorosBot February 20, 2012 at 7:36 pm

And their plastic devices with vibrating abilities are more satisfying than the Republican men.

Tundra Grifter February 20, 2012 at 4:32 pm

Dana Loesch is lower than whale poop. She used graphic – quite false, of course but graphic nonetheless – details of the terrible assult on Laura Logan to justify Scott Walker's supporters in WI.

She makes Ann Falter look reasonable.

fuflans February 20, 2012 at 5:40 pm

wait! what?

Geminisunmars February 20, 2012 at 4:40 pm

Okay, so I may be uninformed or out of the loop or just plain stupid (yes, I know, all of them Katie) but WTH does "creepy old sandwich-board-is-a-computer pervert" refer to?

Loaded_Pants February 20, 2012 at 6:40 pm

I had the same response, too.
Is it another one of those gaming references (like the ones that show up Wonkette) that I don't get?

VinnyThePooh February 20, 2012 at 4:41 pm

This procedure may be perfectly acceptable back in Transvagina, but here in Merika, it kinda violates Constitutional rights, Cunt Dracula.

Steverino247 February 20, 2012 at 4:42 pm

Hahahaha! Check this one out (directed there by Dependable Renegade): http://peeancefreeance.files.wordpress.com/2012/0

Nostrildamus February 20, 2012 at 4:56 pm

Beyond words.

Jukesgrrl February 20, 2012 at 5:29 pm

Total WIN.

C_R_Eature February 20, 2012 at 5:41 pm

Thank you. I saved that and will cherish it always.

Loaded_Pants February 20, 2012 at 6:21 pm

omg…excellent!

CthuNHu February 20, 2012 at 4:49 pm

They had no problem having … a transvaginal procedure (with some person at some point in their lives, so it's totes cool for anyone else to stick something up there, also, too).

This is good news for stalkers.

tessiee February 20, 2012 at 4:52 pm

Snark-free, but:
Isn't there already a body (tee hee) of existing law that forbids doctors (or health care providers in general) from performing unwanted medical procedures/interventions? Wouldn't mandatory vadge invasions put doctors in violation (tee hee) of laws that are already on the books?

PubOption February 20, 2012 at 5:12 pm

There's the Hippocratic oath, although some people prefer the hypocritical.

Chichikovovich February 20, 2012 at 5:58 pm

I'm not sure how that would go – I'll chime in until a real lawyer comes along (if one does). Prommie – you're a lawyer, right? Any opinions?

I would guess that legally I suppose they could say that they weren't making the ultrasound mandatory, but rather making it a required part of the procedure. So I imagine you can't force someone to take a blood transfusion, but you can require doctors not to perform major operations unless blood transfusions are involved. To do otherwise would take an unacceptable risk of killing the patient.

Now, you say "Well, that's 100% bullshit because the imagined blood transfusion restriction is for the safety of the patient, and this is just yet one more unnecessary obstacle thrown up by a bunch of pervy slut-shaming misogynists." Very true, but they will maintain – bullshitterily, though they may have convinced themselves they believe it – that this is for the safety and health of the mother. "Don't you know about all the women whose lives are ruined forever and who live out their pathetic existences drinking cheap gin lying in a gutter on skid road and wailing about killing their sweet innocent snowflake baby Adrian (had to be an androgynous name, because dear precious Adrian hadn't developed surface sex characteristics)? Our studies show they number in the millions! And all the cases of cervical cancer from abortions? Millions more." And I'm sure that there are at this point enough Bush appointed judges who regard Alito as a dangerous left-winger that this would get two thumbs up all the way to the Supremes.

DaRooster February 20, 2012 at 5:03 pm

Probes from a non-lover same as pepper spray vegetables.

C_R_Eature February 20, 2012 at 5:07 pm

Did anyone mention that these two give Cunts a bad name?

No?

These two give Cunts a bad name.

DaRooster February 20, 2012 at 5:51 pm

Isn't that a Bon Jovi song?

C_R_Eature February 20, 2012 at 5:53 pm

It is! Doesn't get much airplay, though…

FlownOver February 20, 2012 at 5:21 pm

So, two rapes would be better than – or no worse than – one?

Analwart says what?

elburritodeluxe February 20, 2012 at 5:35 pm

I never thought id say this but you make me miss Wolf Blitzer.

MadBrahms February 20, 2012 at 5:36 pm

Anyone who refers to sex as a "transvaginal procedure" has some serious problems with their pillow talk.

Generation[redacted] February 20, 2012 at 5:54 pm

Is that the term she uses to differentiate from Rush's usual rentboy procedure?

MozakiBlocks February 20, 2012 at 5:36 pm

Loesch asking how a plastic device with imaging capabilities is really so different from a penis:

If I were her husband, I'd be insulted by that one.

Biff February 20, 2012 at 7:37 pm

You mean this guy? He doesn't know the meaning of the word.

chascates February 20, 2012 at 5:39 pm

Women's ladyparts: the cause of, and solution to, all of life's problems.

–with apologies to Homer Simpson and beer.

Loaded_Pants February 20, 2012 at 6:24 pm

Republican brainparts: the cause of, and not the solution to, all of life's problems.

imissopus February 20, 2012 at 10:51 pm

As Homer once said about beer: Son, a beer is like a woman. They look good, they smell good, and you'd step over your own mother to get to one.

Loaded_Pants February 20, 2012 at 11:10 pm

So true. But my mom was passed out in front of the fridge so I had a good excuse.

elburritodeluxe February 20, 2012 at 5:48 pm

Dana is CNNs tragic attempt to seem "hip" and "edgy".

chascates February 20, 2012 at 5:53 pm

Actual American Patriot (& Brokered Convention Helper) Sarah Palin releases a video today, in celebration of Presidents Day and Sarah Palin: http://www.sarahpac.com/posts/happy-presidents-da

Loaded_Pants February 20, 2012 at 6:16 pm

I can't believe she actually put "BS" into a pubic statement.
No, wait, yes I can.

chascates February 20, 2012 at 6:21 pm
flamingpdog February 20, 2012 at 9:40 pm

Who are these mystic whores she keeps talking about? The ladies' auxiliary at her Wasilla looney-tunes church?

FlownOver February 20, 2012 at 6:07 pm

Coulter is undoubtedly saying "I'm ready for my closeup, Mr. O'Keefe!"

rickmaci February 20, 2012 at 6:42 pm

I'm looking at the picture and in the foreground you have Mann and Doesch giving each other the "I'd like to tear her clothes off" looks. And in the background, there are the two old guys looking on getting all sweaty with "when do they start wrestling in the mud" in their leers. In the middle is the CPAC sign. I don't understand. Is CPAC just cover for a Conservatard kinky sex weekend? You know, leave the SO home in Iowa and come to DC to sin and get your rocks off kinda thing? Sort of like a Democratic Convention except with a lot of lying and closeted denial?

flamingpdog February 20, 2012 at 9:42 pm

And why is Dana about to squeeze her boobie with her right hand? Is that a come-on signal between her and mAnn?

Loaded_Pants February 20, 2012 at 10:45 pm

"Start with this one first, Ann…I like it that way."

SpiderCrab February 20, 2012 at 7:00 pm

Not "different than", but rather "different from". You're welcome.

Limeylizzie February 20, 2012 at 9:44 pm

MrLimeylizzie just said that there should be a "Women's Spring" and I think that would be excellent, we should march on Washington and get up in their grille.

C_R_Eature February 20, 2012 at 10:44 pm

You should look up what took place outside the Virginia State Legislature building today. I'd say that's a good start.

Loaded_Pants February 21, 2012 at 1:14 am

That was excellent.
The lunatic who introduced the "personhood bill", Bob Marshall had this say in response to the protest:
"I've got to deal with all these side shows with these people, who just never want to get to the plain fact that there's a very simple thing I want to do, to recognize the unborn as being a human being before the law. That's all…[The legislation] doesn't criminalize abortion, it doesn't affect birth control, and they can't point to one case where it's ever been done that way."
Well, jackass, I guess there's no need criminalize abortion since you assholes in the GA have already passed legislation that limits women's access to it as much as possible.
His use of the word "sideshow" is really ironic since he is referred to, in liberal/progressive circles as "Sideshow Bob".
Pics & footage of the protest can be found here: http://www.bluevirginia.us/diary/6043/1000-people

littlebigdaddy February 20, 2012 at 10:08 pm

Haha! His name is Johnson! She obv hates the Johnson.

lulzmonger February 20, 2012 at 10:30 pm

Ah, Andrew Breitbart, -the hominid-shaped AIDS of nanoid journalism.

Perhaps one day ALL corporatist ratfucks will be this morbid & hollow.

Negropolis February 20, 2012 at 10:47 pm

Nah. Gonna'. Listen. Nope.

And, Loesch is married, no less. But, we all know that more than a few conservative marriages are shams, so I can understand her genuine confusion, poor thing.

I'm going to monetize all of the hate Tweets for Mailbag of Hate.

That whore.

Negropolis February 21, 2012 at 12:16 am

Hey, Dana? Phyllis Schlafly called; she wants her schtick back.

freddymcmurray February 21, 2012 at 12:27 am

this shrill-voiced cunt invades my radio airwaves on this god-forsaken 97.1 radio station on a daily basis. MINUS 100 COOL POINTS for her. If you don't get that "joke", it means you either don't live in st. louis, or you are wise enough to never to listen to this she devil. may she rot in hell.

glamourdammerung February 21, 2012 at 12:29 am

It sounds like she got suspended from her CNN gig after the stupidity she spewed about how urinating on corpses was "a million cool points" and is feebly trying to get any press to try to get her job back.

freddymcmurray February 21, 2012 at 12:49 am

German students will instantly recognize Dana Loesch's name as a command.

"Dana, loesch! "

(Dana, purge!) Her last name also translates to "turn-off", as if that needed to be said.

fitley February 21, 2012 at 1:49 am

I think if Dana had Andrew BreitTard insert her weekly check in her "box" instead of her mailbox she would have a better understanding of what "consent" is all about.

Buckminster February 21, 2012 at 11:07 am

Hello, there's the little matter of "consensual," you harpie.

banana_bread February 21, 2012 at 11:14 am

I've said this in a comment on Wonkette before but I think it bears repeating.

I've had several transvaginal ultrasounds – due to getting knocked up, and also due to ovarian cysts – and they SUCK. A lot.

You have to drink something like 32 oz of water within an hour of the ultrasound, so your bladder is full; this is either so the tech can get his/her jollies out of your pain or to give them a clearer picture. (I suspect the former.) Then they take their phallic rod, pop a condom over it, lube it up with jelly (which may or may not be cold) and shove it in your hoo-ha. They hit your cervix and then jam it up against the top wall of your vagina. Then you have to try really hard to sit still and not pee all over the tech.

It is approximately as fun as it sounds, which is to say about as fun as a root canal. I can only imagine how traumatizing it must be for people being forced into it.

DahBoner February 21, 2012 at 12:03 pm

How is an ultrasound different than having sex?

The first one you're waving at the baby, in the second you're poking him with a big stick, except buttsex…

Ultra_C February 21, 2012 at 1:10 pm

You're right, Liz, probing a woman's va ja ja with an ultrasound device is soooooo much worse than what she's planning on doing to that unborn baby with her Dyson.

Ultra_C February 21, 2012 at 1:12 pm

Let's make a deal, libtards: we'll stop probing your vaginas with ultrasound wands, and you stop brutally murdering unborn children. Deal?

SorosBot February 22, 2012 at 10:17 am

There's no such thing as an unborn child, moron. No one is murdering anyone, you evil, vile, woman-hating cocksucking shithead. Please go castrate yourself.

nanooknw March 1, 2012 at 2:12 pm

Something about kissing you first…

Designer_Rants February 20, 2012 at 3:39 pm

I like the guy holding the "Guns Save Lives" sign while doing his best "300" scream.

Loaded_Pants February 20, 2012 at 4:22 pm

That's one pale crowd in that pic. And what is up with screaming guy's coat?

RadioSBJ February 20, 2012 at 4:23 pm

prommies' rant is brilliant, as usual, but I just go with the shorter phrase: tatterdemalion of the soul.

chicken_thief February 20, 2012 at 4:36 pm

Ribbed?

Dudleydidwrong February 20, 2012 at 5:47 pm

But does the condom have the little cuppy tip to catch the, uh, gel-stuff?

HistoriCat February 20, 2012 at 4:53 pm

Not any that I ever saw.

SorosBot February 20, 2012 at 7:25 pm

Having them means a pretty much guaranteed trip to the full porno body scan machine, according to some owners of big boobs I know.

HistoriCat February 20, 2012 at 8:21 pm

Egg-zackly.

Loaded_Pants February 21, 2012 at 1:05 am

The firm of Lucifer, Belphegor, Mammon, Mammon, & Mammon is a major player down there.

Dashboard_Jesus February 21, 2012 at 1:16 am

reminds me of one of my favorite old jokes, "What do you call a thousand lawyers at the bottom of the ocean? A good start"

btw, how does that work for 'em down there, do they get negative billable hours or what?

Biel_ze_Bubba February 21, 2012 at 2:08 am

We just treat them like first-year associates.

And of course they'll never make partner.

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