it just slightly is

Breitbart Shill Wonders: How Is An Ultrasound Different Than Sex?

Dana Loesch, an unpleasant creature who works for both CNN and Andrew Breitbart, has stolen the best joke from the world’s worst comedian and delivered it as a non-joke on her radio show, Burping Hour With Dana Loesch. Regarding the whole Virginia pre-abortion, look-at-the-proto-baby-growing-inside-you probing matter, Loesch asks how an unwanted probative ultrasound is different than the sex a woman had in order to then be punished with that probative ultrasound? Then Loesch took to Twitter to call out Little Green Footballs’ Charles Johnson for calling a spade a spade, which yielded more things that aren’t jokes or funny, but for that reason are funny.

First, here is Loesch transforming into a high-pitched voice in order to imitate liberal women, and then, proving that she has never Gotten Any from anything other than a tampon or Ann Coulter’s probing eyes, Loesch asking how a plastic device with imaging capabilities is really so different from a penis:

Then when Charles Johnson wrote to Loesch on Twitter, quoting her exact words, this lady responded:

Sandwich-board-is-a-computer. Good one! And also, WHAT?

Then she called Johnson a child molester.

A secret anonymous loser apparently made this same argument about unwanted plastic electronic non-vibrating vaginal penetration during the discussion of the bill last week, so maybe Loesch should just embrace her babble instead of calling people pedophiles when they remind her of it having been uttered?

But anyway, if this two-timing of two sad media outlets fails, Loesch has a Business Plan!

Oh good! [Little Green Footballs / ThinkProgress]

About the author

Liz is a writer. She has written for this site, evidently, and also The Awl, The San Francisco Chronicle, NPR, The Economist and others. She is the author of a short story collection, Cover Story.

View all articles by Liz Colville

Comments

Hey there, Wonkeputians! Shypixel here to remind you to remember our Commenting Rules For Radicals, Enjoy!

  • Barb

    I dunno, Breitbart. What is the difference if your doctor uses the spade end of a shovel to do your prostate exam?

    • MrFizzy

      Breitbart's prostate is on top of his neck.

      • Angry_Marmot

        I can see the scar!

    • tessiee

      Um… I don't know…
      He'd enjoy it more?

    • http://www.udargo.com MaxUdargo

      Look, this isn't complicated. There's no need to bring gardening tools into it.

      If a woman chooses to let some guy stick his penis in her vagina (let's say the guy is her husband, just to avoid any digressions), and then the next day she is raped by some stranger, she shouldn't complain. If she was willing to let a penis into her vagina the day before, then why should she object to some other guy involuntarily inserting a penis into her vagina?

      Don't you see? If you allow a penis into your vagina, then you can't complain when other people stick other things in your vagina. That's just pure liberal hypocrisy right there.

      • DaRooster

        Don't forget that if she allows herself to be raped… she should be stoned to death, you know like in the Bible.

        Yea!! Christian!!

        • tessiee

          NO-body is to stone ANY-body — even if, and I want to make this perfectly clear, even if they DO say "Jehovah"!

    • arcadesproject

      hooo boy andrew and dana must be having some absolutely terrible sex. i mean, i've had lovers who were not exactly great but shit….i'm on the point of feeling sorry for these critters.

  • nounverb911

    If mankind is lucky, Loesch and Coulter will never conceive.

    • http://www.wonkette.com ManchuCandidate

      So who's the man in that relationship?

      • KeepFnThatChicken

        All of them, Katie.

    • Lascauxcaveman

      If mankind is lucky, Loesch and Coulter will never conceive.

      It wouldn't matter much, any issue from that stock would wither and die almost immediately from the poisonous atmosphere.

      • tessiee

        "AAaahh! The daylight! It burns!"
        *sizzle*

    • rickmaci

      Mann Coulter is 51 so she probably is out of the game. Dingbat Loesch already has 2 seeds. Win some, lose some.

      • KeepFnThatChicken

        51? She doesn't look a day over surgery.

        • rickmaci

          Are you trying to say she looks good for 51 year old tranny?

  • ttommyunger

    Typical selective beliefs. She quotes one verse of the Bible in tattoo form while ignoring the prohibition against tattooing or marking the body (look it up, I'm not paid to educate you). Also, nice try with the Jolly Roger bullshit. Those of us over 70 know an SS Death's Head when we see one and we get the message loud and clear, cunt.

    • Callyson

      Got curious and checked it out:
      Ye shall not make any cuttings in your flesh for the dead, nor print any marks upon you: I am the LORD.
      Leviticus 19:28
      Um, OK…
      Though, the God *I* believe in wouldn't mind if Coultergeist and this other beeyatch cut themselves up…

      • ttommyunger

        You get the Gold Star, Cally. Thanks. ;)

      • Biel_ze_Bubba

        "…nor print any marks upon you…"

        Hmm… I wonder if Palin gets sent to Hell for writing pointless talking points on her hands? Excuse me while I go check this out with Legal…

        • Dashboard_Jesus

          y'mean you got LAWYERS down there. who'd a guessed that?

          • Biel_ze_Bubba

            Batallions, divisions, whole armies of 'em.

          • Loaded_Pants

            The firm of Lucifer, Belphegor, Mammon, Mammon, & Mammon is a major player down there.

          • Dashboard_Jesus

            reminds me of one of my favorite old jokes, "What do you call a thousand lawyers at the bottom of the ocean? A good start"

            btw, how does that work for 'em down there, do they get negative billable hours or what?

          • Biel_ze_Bubba

            We just treat them like first-year associates.

            And of course they'll never make partner.

    • tessiee

      It's true that Leviticus 19:28 forbids tattooing (which would, by definition, make it an awesome tattoo!), but Leviticus 19:27 forbids mullets ("You shall not cut the hair on the sides of your head"), which makes it the second-best bible verse EVAR!! The best, of course, being, "Obadiah tied his ass to a tree and walked 40 leagues".

      • ttommyunger

        I prefer the “Adultery is OK with God” verse in the Bible. I used to insert that phrase between the pages of the ever-present Gideon Bible in motel rooms on a piece of paper to help persuade reluctant lovers.

        • Dashboard_Jesus

          srsly? that is so many kinds of awesome…I might THINK of doing sometihng like that but never follow thru (basically I'm too lazy, maybe I needed some o' that military discipline?)

          • ttommyunger

            That was the 50's. Such persuasion is not needed today. The agreement for sex is settled long before one reaches a motel these days.

    • Negropolis

      I've always loved seeing Bible verses on people just because of the irony.

      • tessiee

        If I were ever going to have a bible bumper sticker, etc., it would be Matthew 6:5.

        For those who are not familiar, it says:
        "“And when you pray, do not be like the hypocrites, for they love to pray standing in the synagogues and on the street corners to be seen by others. Truly I tell you, they have received their reward in full. But when you pray, go into your room, close the door and pray to your Father, who is unseen. Then your Father, who sees what is done in secret, will reward you."

      • Dashboard_Jesus

        ahhhh, sweet, sweet irony…too bad it's lost on most people (maybe due to the lack of edumakashun, in r skoolz?)

      • ttommyunger

        Naturally the owners see no irony whatever, as usual.

    • Dashboard_Jesus

      ttommy, Love it when you quote the Babble AND talk dirty all in the same commentary, religious sexy talk really turns me on (and yes, even though I never heard of this bitch I can tell by the twit's twats she's a cunt)

    • ttommyunger

      Why do you think men scream for God when they cum? I can't help but think Jeebus got his groove on with young Mary, prolly was married to her. Come to Earth and check it out but don't dip your toes in THAT water? I don't think so. Hope you're a shemale, but it's OK if not; nice to turn somebody on at my age.

  • http://www.wonkette.com ManchuCandidate

    For one the ultrasound takes longer than 5 seconds, Dana.

    • LabRodent

      stop bragging Manchu!

    • DrOzarkZ.Hellbender

      Me scan you long time!

  • Biel_ze_Bubba

    No surprise here. The subtle difference between consensual sex and rape has always baffled Republicans.

    • Guppy

      And why not? The closest Moses came to dealing with consent is pardoning an "adulteress" if she cried out for help.

  • memzilla

    Anagrams of "Dana Loesch" include:

    No Cad Heals; Eh, Anal Docs; Chaos Laden; and Scandal Hoe.

    • http://krisbunda.com/blog/index.php Designer_Rants

      Scandal Hoe!. But can we use that for Coulter, too? Even if the letters are different?

      • http://www.gurukalehuru.wordpress.com gurukalehuru

        Ann Coulter is No Real Cunt

        • MadBrahms

          Lies.

        • Loaded_Pants

          Heh. The first one I got was "Unclean Rot".

          Sounds right.

  • CountryClubJihadi

    Gee, I hope they make a butt-plug with imaging capabilities so she can find her head.

    • sati_demise

      oh fuck it snap!

  • http://www.eloquentscience.com EloquentScience

    "Burping Hour"

    I spit up my milk when I read that, Liz. Good one.

  • mavenmaven

    After all, if a woman is a victim of incest or rape, why not have the experience re-enacted by some medical techs in Virginia who probably feel they also ought to punish her for wanting an abortion? What's wrong with that?

  • http://www.wonkette.com John Birf Society

    The probe won't brag about it on Facebook?

  • Blueb4sunrise

    It's the dick-cam!!

    • Crank_Tango

      I saw that in a porn once. Some japanese dude was using it to make sure there wasn't any poo poo in the poop chute before the buttsex. I think Old Dana needs a session, now that I think of it.

      • Loaded_Pants

        I can see the practicality of such a device.

      • Negropolis

        So clean, so tidy, the Japanese are.

  • http://www.wonkette.com/ slowhansolo

    The sex thing, how does it work?

    • prommie

      Cock goes in, cock goes out, noone can explain it.

    • chicken_thief

      For her, rarely.

  • anniegetyerfun

    What's a va ja ja? Some sort of German game show?

    • IceCreamEmpress

      It comes on right after "Numberwang!"

    • http://www.vinoverve.com Maman

      It is a segment on Sprocket

      • tessiee

        I found it bourgeois.

      • Biff

        Jah, the part where we dance.

      • horsedreamer_1

        Kyle Mc Lachlan Libel!

    • coolhandnuke

      Va Ja Ja was the talented Gabor sister.

      • Loaded_Pants

        Oh, so that's why I never heard of her…

    • RadioSBJ

      It's on right after "Nein! Nein! Nein!"

    • C_R_Eature

      From Virginia!

  • mercianomad

    Why does Coulter have a lobster dangling from her neck in that picture? Yeesh, as if she weren't already scary enough.

    • http://krisbunda.com/blog/index.php Designer_Rants

      Let that be a lesson to the rest of you arthropods!

    • http://wonkette.com/ weej_bain

      It's trying to kill her. Remember the Maine

    • tessiee

      I'm no expert, but I think that may be the discarded carapace of her larval stage.

    • MrFizzy

      That's one of the Santorum fetuses.

    • C_R_Eature

      That's her Alien Brain Reptile. It just couldn't take it anymore.

    • RadioSBJ

      Duh, it's a strap-on ultrasound probe.

    • Biel_ze_Bubba

      It's a large scorpion, I think. Whatever … it gives the viewer something pleasant to look at.

      • MrFizzy

        or less unpleasant

  • UnholyMoses

    Dana and the rest of the right might wanna look up the definition of "consent."

    I realize it might be confusing for someone like her who has never has the chance to do so, but it matters to a few tens of millions of women.

    • SorosBot

      It doesn't matter; to them all unapproved sex is wrong and rape is morally on the same level as cheating. Fuck them with a chainsaw.

      • Sheesko

        …with a chain saw on full throttle.

        Fixed.

    • http://wonkette.com/ weej_bain

      Isn't the Rethug definition of "consent" mean when the man says yes? 'Cept when the man is blah, then it's get the rope.

    • http://www.vinoverve.com Maman

      As someone who has to "consent" every time I get felt up by the TSA, I can tell you that real consent is supposed to be given willingly. Not coerced by the state.

      • tessiee

        "who has to "consent" every time I get felt up by the TSA"

        Do you travel a lot, or do you just have very specific dating habits?

    • tessiee

      Dana and the rest of the right might wanna look up the definition of "consent.""

      "Get off me, Daddy, you're crushing my cigarettes!"

  • http://www.wonkette.com TanzbodenKoenig

    How is a Breitbart hack different than a respectable journalist?

    • Loaded_Pants

      Dana translated: Two things that are completely different are actually the same!

  • prommie

    Yes, yes, they are dumbass lame desperate apologists for a conservative movement based on nothing but hate, jingoism, zenophobia, anti-intellectualism and religious fanatacism, and yes, their desperate analogies and idiotic arguments in support of the insupportable are stupid and ridiculous, but sometimes, its just tiresome to even go through all the details of why they are stupid, and lame, and desperate, and sad and pathetic. I like it better when something exciting happens, like they get run over by a truck, thats way better than when they just open their mouths and blurt out something complicatedly and pervasively stupid. Thats just what they do.

    • jus_wonderin

      "get run over by a truck."

      I'd actually stop to gawk at that.

    • FakaktaSouth

      I totally get that. I'll do it anyway though. I would like to show this lady what the difference between this and sex is. I don't like people with vaginas making cash off belittling and stirring shit up for those of us who actually like ours. Because that's all it is. She's a whore of a different color. She sucks. In the bad way.

      • prommie

        I'd like to show her the grille of a Peterbilt dump truck. For just a second, before it flattens her.

    • tessiee

      Teh stupid I could maybe deal with; after all, I'm told that stupid people can't help it; it's the relentless stupid, always combined with the relentless evil, that gives me the heebie-jeebies.

    • RadioSBJ

      "Get run over by a truck"

      Michael O'Donoghue is that you?

      • tessiee

        Why do I think that if Michael O'Donoghue were alive today, he'd be a Republican?
        Oh, right; he was a loony sadist with massive anger issues.

    • KeepFnThatChicken

      No, wait. I take it back. It's permissible to laugh at Sarah Palin forever. Just like there is no getting over how good "Fuck You" by Ceelo Green is.

    • GeneralLerong

      Aw, c'mon, prommie, you have more imagination than that.

      Run over by a steam-roller! Yeah! Stuck to the asphalt like a popped grape!

      Oh. Not every has one in their garage, for when they take summer trips to the mountains? Well, how about we hire paving crews to follow conservative goons around? So many industrial accidents, so sad.

  • http://www.stumbleupon.com/stumbler/cheaphits/reviews cheaphits

    "disgusting, creepy old sandwich-board-is-a-computer pervert."

    "I'm going to monetize all of the hate Tweets for Mailbag of Hate. "

    The crazy is very strong here.

    • Barrelhse

      Kinda edgy, ain't she?
      Whoooo.

  • UnholyMoses

    Shorter Dana Loeschohhoweveryouspellit:

    Quoting my exact words when they make me me look like an idiot makes you a child molester. SOTHERENANNYNANNYBOOBOO!!

    CNN should give her a raise and a primetime show.

    ADDED: Yes, I'm aware of all Internet traditions.

    • anniegetyerfun

      Comments were not meant to be factual statements, obvs.

      • UnholyMoses

        Not even duplicate ones?

        (It'd be awesome if you edited the second to remove the "not.")

  • Goonemeritus

    Even though I’m a guy I support the convention that permission needs to be given before anyone enters other people’s orifices.

    • AnAmericanInTO

      You know, I hate getting a stupid Pap smear: it's awkward, it's invasive and it pinches a very sensitive area of my body. BUT, at least it has a purpose and my doctor isn't just doing it to me to be a dick and teach me a lesson.

    • Biel_ze_Bubba

      That's a wise position to take. Guys have orifices too.
      This is going to matter as soon as they catch the first airplane Rectum-Bomber.

      I truly wish I was joking.

      • flamingpdog

        Think of how much money it'll save Obamacare if the TSA has to fund a sigmoidoscopy for everyone that boards an airplane.

      • Loaded_Pants

        First there was the "Underwear Bomber" now THIS.

  • edgydrifter

    As long as you accept the notion that any man has the right to stick whatever he wants wherever he wants to whenever it strikes his fancy, Dana Loesch makes sense.

  • prommie

    Oh, and if someone wants to send Dana over here to where I am, I will gladly demonstrate for her the difference between vigorous ass-fucking and a colonoscopy.

    • Katydid

      That's the Prommie I love!

    • Limeylizzie

      You are a national treasure.

  • LabRodent

    Its like im stuck in a really bad sitcom.

    • Sheesko

      You are. Sorry, but we needed a koros.

  • MrFizzy

    Sounds like someone who looks forward to a colonoscopy.

    • jus_wonderin

      "Everyone Probed Raymond"?

  • SorosBot

    Of course to these misogynist morons, once a woman has had sex once she's therefore a slut and anything going in her vagina is OK regardless of whether she wants it or not. Fucknuts.

    • prommie

      You can sense it, can't you, she means to insult the woman who actually let a penis inside her, "eww, how disgsuting, if you'd let a penis in you, you'd let anything in you, you whore."

      • LetUsBray

        "Now, Coulter's spindly, bony fist – that's different."

        • GOPCrusher

          Aw fuck. Now I have an image of Ann Coulter in a fisting session running around in my head.

          • SorosBot

            Ewwww. The idea of Skeletor having any kind of sex is truly boner-killing.

        • Loaded_Pants

          With Ann's sharp bony arms, that could definitely do some internal damage.

      • SorosBot

        She's also jealous that the liberal women tend to find men who actually try to make sure the women they sleep with enjoy sex instead of just getting off themselves; we know what a clitoris is.

        • Geminisunmars

          That's what I like about liberal men too.

        • GOPCrusher

          Do they still work the way I remember them?
          * sigh *

          • SorosBot

            Oh, they work great, and make me wish I could have one. Still playing with them is very fun.

        • Loaded_Pants

          tee hee…a straight male friend of mine calls it 'the bell clapper".

        • MissNancyPriss

          Which one had sex with JJ from "Good Times"?

        • http://godlessfeminist.wordpress.com/ Jacqueline S. Homan

          Are you single and in my age range?

    • tessiee

      Serves her right for having a vagina in the first place.
      If she *really* didn't want to be penetrated by any yay-hoo with spare time, she'd have a schlong like Annie.

    • Negropolis

      This is honestly what it boils down to.

      At the very center of social conservatism is an anger at people who enjoy the pleasures allowed us by our sensese.

  • http://hong-kong-actresses.blogspot.com/ donner_froh

    Sorry, dear but you can only monetize something that has an intrinsic value to someone.

    Or you could just get Goldman Sachs to bundle all your hate twits into CDOs and have S&P rate them AAA. It worked a couple of years ago with a bunch of worthless shit.

    • http://krisbunda.com/blog/index.php Designer_Rants

      Hahaha! And are we dumb enough to buy it twice? Yeah, probably.

      • Biel_ze_Bubba

        Maybe not, but the guys running your pension plan will buy it, so long as it makes THEM rich.

        • http://krisbunda.com/blog/index.php Designer_Rants

          Did you know that in 2008 we (globally) had almost 500 TRILLION dollars in outstanding derivatives contracts? WHAT DOES THAT EVEN MEAN?

          • Biel_ze_Bubba

            Most of it's just hedging. Works fine, so long as the underlying asset (or index) don't implode. (If you could magically drop oil prices by 50% overnight, you'd blow up a hundred banks, funds, and trading firms.)

  • arihaya

    this is almost as stupid as arguments against birth control and contraception made by Catholic priests and bishops who NEVER had a fucking sexxx in their fucking live ..

    … unless, oh unless, these priests had Jerry Sandusky-style encounters before

    • Dudleydidwrong

      "Ya no playa da game, you no makea da rules." I guess the Catholic hierarchy never heard of that.

      Now with their little boys, it's different: Ya playa da game and there are no rules.

  • http://www.wonkette.com/ slowhansolo

    "Please do not be alarmed. We are about to engage… the nozzle. Please do not move while the nozzle is engaging. Moving will disrupt calibration of… the nozzle. Please wait while we calibrate… the nozzle. Please do not look away from… the nozzle. The nozzle is now calibrating. … The nozzle is still calibrating. The nozzle has completed calibration. Thank you."

    • Guppy

      What was that thing?

      • http://www.wonkette.com/ slowhansolo

        I have no idea.

        • tessiee

          Oh, OK. it's from something called the Venture Brothers.

          • bagofmice

            It was, the nozzle.

    • http://krisbunda.com/blog/index.php Designer_Rants

      I felt kinda rapedy after reading that.

    • LionHeartSoyDog

      One-eyed Willie talks, also?

    • tessiee

      Was that Kang or Kodos?

    • Negropolis

      I feel like I need a shower, after reading that.

    • tessiee

      "I'm afraid I have no lube, Dave."

  • Steverino247

    Wait until Coulter is old enough to need regular prostate exams and see what the opinion will be then.

  • hollywooddood

    Geez. I always head down to the ultrasound department at the hospital when I'm horny.

  • ElPinche

    Does Dana know that Coulter's ultrasound probe is 9 inches long. ??

    • http://krisbunda.com/blog/index.php Designer_Rants

      And the girth is startling.

  • smoothmineral

    I love how this cunt combines the disgusting, lowbrow attempt at conservative humor of Limbaugh with the apoplectic whinyness of Breitbart.

    Faux needs to give her an eponymous show, pronto!

    • MrFizzy

      You have now succeeded in insulting cunts the world over. Good work.

    • tessiee

      "Faux needs to give her an eponymous show, pronto!"

      they might, but the other semi-finalist is the alien reptile in the President's melon lady, so it's a tough call.

  • http://hong-kong-actresses.blogspot.com/ donner_froh

    Who is this harpy?

    • fuflans

      exactly.

    • tessiee

      She's obviously one of those ugly, angry, bitter, man-hating liberal women that Repukes love to keep telling us about.

  • KeepFnThatChicken

    When did we permit women to talk, anyway. Someone tell Dana my fucking sandwich is late.

  • BigDumbRedDog

    Neither penis-based sex nor a good probing will ever hold a candle to that time the reptile alien in my brain made sweet, sweet love to me.

    • jus_wonderin

      Did the Earth move?

    • Geminisunmars

      It was humming an Al Green song, as I recall.

      • Loaded_Pants

        Was it "I'm Hooked On You"?

      • tessiee

        Quite appropriate, since it *is* green.

  • CrunchyKnee

    Dildo cams for Jesus!

  • BigDumbRedDog

    I now know waaaaaay more than I ever wanted to about this twat's sex life.

  • Dashboard Buddha

    She's right you know. There's almost no difference between making love with the hot dude you adore and a state mandated vaginal probing.

    • KeepFnThatChicken

      lube is lube.

  • Dashboard Buddha

    Hey now…lighten up on Dana. She's just tense and hasn't had her Coulter Adam's Apple massage.

  • SorosBot

    So if a man has enjoyed having his balls fondled, he should also enjoy a quick kick to his balls; that's pretty much the same thing, right?

    • Pithaughn

      Just in case you are serious:
      What will I experience during and after the procedure?

      Most ultrasound examinations are painless, fast and easy.
      After you are positioned on the examination table, the radiologist or sonographer will apply some warm water-based gel on your skin and then place the transducer firmly against your body, moving it back and forth over the area of interest until the desired images are captured. There is usually no discomfort from pressure as the transducer is pressed against the area being examined.
      If scanning is performed over an area of tenderness, you may feel pressure or minor pain from the transducer.
      Once the imaging is complete, the gel will be wiped off your skin.
      After an ultrasound examination, you should be able to resume your normal activities immediately.

      Depending on who the sonographer is, I can easily imagine enjoying the procedure, especially the gel wiping on and off part.

      • tessiee

        "What will I experience during and after the procedure?"

        If being kicked in the groin really was a medical procedure, your doctor would tell you right up front to "expect some momentary discomfort".

    • HempDogbane

      Yes, and soon to be mandated in Virginia.

    • Callyson

      You're on a roll here…so to speak…

      • SorosBot

        Ah, thanks.

      • flamingpdog

        SorosBot – Wonkette's very own sesame seed!

        (Said w/admiration, dude.)

  • anniegetyerfun

    I wonder how the Tea Party will react to this ongoing argument. Seeing as how they care so deeply about personal liberty, and preventing cumbersome government legislation from impinging on an individual's freedom, I'm sure they'll be all over this like a racist white sheriff on a gay Mexican lover.

    • http://www.counterpunch.org 4TheTurnstiles

      Tea party? http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_VxVtmHhOLM

      They don't have positions, they have… issues

    • chicken_thief

      Just build the danged website!

    • http://littlegreenfootballs.com/article/39308_Breitbarts_Fans_Spew_Racism_Call_for_President_Obama_t glamourdammerung

      That is a joke, right?

      Because one thing that conservatives, or whatever they are calling themselves this week, are not known for is consistency. Or logic. Or integrity, personal responsibility, etc.

      • anniegetyerfun

        This is Wonkette. It's obviously not a joke. Jokers don't spend time on Wonkette.

        • http://littlegreenfootballs.com/article/39308_Breitbarts_Fans_Spew_Racism_Call_for_President_Obama_t glamourdammerung

          It is hard to know if someone is joking or not whenever discussing movement conservatives at this point. As I have said, I am convinced that the Republican Party is really a German performance art group or possibly a Sacha Baron Cohen gag gone really, really sideways.

          • anniegetyerfun

            I assumed you would know me better by now.

  • http://www.southsidejohnny.com/ Jukesgrrl

    What is it about the name Dana? Dana Loesch, Dana Bash, Dana Perino, Dana Milbank. Maybe the name means "screw loose."

    • prommie

      Their parents were fans of Dana Plato? Or Plato's retreat?

    • GOPCrusher

      Of that list, I would probably bang Dana Perino.

      • flamingpdog

        I hear when she orgasms it sounds like the bay of pigs.

    • tessiee

      Like the names Rick, Scott, or Rick Scott.

    • DaRooster

      Dana Carvey… good screws loose though.

    • Rotundo_

      Usually it means daddy wanted a boy, along with Danielle etc. Probably why she's taking it high hard and inside from Coultergeist. Daddy issues.

    • Sheesko

      Dana Scully…

      • flamingpdog

        Be right back!

    • Barrelhse

      It's a typo on the birth certificate, supposed to be "Nada."

  • Oblios_Cap

    Dana was probably whoring it up at CPAC w/ Newell, so there'll be a chance for her to try out the vaginal probe real soon.

    • tessiee

      How much karmic awesomeness would there be if, next month, she were ten days late?

    • Biff

      You think her white-powdered wig wearing hubby shared her with Newell?

  • http://www.gurukalehuru.wordpress.com gurukalehuru

    Father Sandusky
    dipping his shlong in the shite up a young boys derriere
    what does he care?

  • fuflans

    my bff tends to be a bit liberal conspiracy-ish, but damned if she isn't right about this:

    barry and co have generated this contraception conversation very very deliberately.

    if so that's quite a long game.

    • prommie

      Oh he sure did, and its proving amazingly effective. Barry's minions are amassing a stockpile of quotes and video for use later.

    • anniegetyerfun

      I would never have given Democrats the credit to come up with that plan. If they did, then it's truly brilliant.

      • Geminisunmars

        "I would never have given Democrats the credit to come up with A plan." is more like it.

      • GOPCrusher

        I'm sure they didn't. Give it another week, and they may wake up to the present the Republiklans have given them.
        But then, I'm still waiting for them to make political hay out of Joe Barton apologizing to Tony Heyward for the President holding BP responsible for the Deepwater Horizon disaster.

        • http://krisbunda.com/blog/index.php Designer_Rants

          You're not holding your breath are you? Are you?!

    • SoBeach

      I seriously doubt the dems came up with it, but I'll sure give 'em credit for recognizing and capitalizing on it.

      Right now all the prez has to do is throw the occasional log on the fire while he sits back and watches those putzes self-immolate.

    • http://www.southsidejohnny.com/ Jukesgrrl

      Who knew a vaginal probe was the seventh level of chess?

  • Beowoof

    Since Dana used to Date Rush, the plastic probe may be her idea of great sex.

    • prommie

      Dana is a pubescent dominican boy?

      • Geminisunmars

        She used to be.

    • Callyson

      That would explain why she can't tell the difference.

    • Rotundo_

      That's where I knew her from. Rusty probably never took her vaginally anyhow, and god knows she wouldn't have felt anything, excepting the weight.

  • http://www.wonkette.com Chillwillard

    In all fairness, Dana probably can't tell the difference between an ultrasound probe and Ann Coulter's strap-on.

  • teebob2000

    "Wait — YOU'RE a cunt, too?? That's SOOOO cool, I'm a cunt!! What are the chances??"

  • Antispandex

    Just because she could barely feel Ann Coulter's penis, is no excuse to force other women to have inserts they don't want. Besides, I think Ann would claim it wasn't the size of her penis that was lacking, but that Dana just has a HUGE beave.

  • Generation[redacted]

    I'm sorry. None of what they said made any sense to me. Can someone explain it in terms of logic and reason?

    • prommie

      Here's a try: Hateful scold Dana says "any slutty slut slut who lets penises in her cunt deserves to get raped by medical device." Normally hateful Little Green Footballs guy has a lucid interval, points out that this is bullshit. Dana rattles bars of her cage, throws feces at him, he throws feces back, monkey-house erupts in storm of shit-throwing.

      • http://www.wonkette.com/ FlownOver

        Pick me up a bag of popcorn on your way.

      • SorosBot

        Little Green Footballs actually went over to the sane, non-hateful side a few years back; it seems the crazy in wingnut land got a bit too much for him.

    • http://littlegreenfootballs.com/article/39308_Breitbarts_Fans_Spew_Racism_Call_for_President_Obama_t glamourdammerung

      I'm sorry. None of what they said made any sense to me. Can someone explain it in terms of logic and reason?

      Liars are mad about being called for telling lies, and told some more to try to deflect attention from their continued telling lies.

      • Loaded_Pants

        Calling their critic(s) child molesters also works.

  • http://dismalpseudoscientist.wordpress.com Negligently_Joe

    Well, Loesch has a point, what exactly is the difference between consensual sexual congress between two people, and sticking objects into a lady's hoohaa against her consent and will, as a punative measure?

    Wait, probably that "against her consent and will" part, right?

    (Also too, 10-15 years and a permanent spot on the sex offender's registry.)

  • Dashboard Buddha

    You know…she might not have had any good lovers, now that I think about it. In fact, they may have been so bad that having a medical technician fresh out of tech school probe around her lady parts might be the closest to ecstasy she has ever come.

  • http://www.storycorner.us/ JustPixelz

    Hey, this is a fun game! Let's think of other constitutionally protected private acts the government can insert (ha ha) itself into.

    If someone wants to vote, the government can mandate he or she make campaign contributions.

    If someone wants to go on the radio (or internet) and say stupid things, the government should require he or she take an IQ test.

    If someone wants to outlaw abortion, the government can mandate he or she adopt an otherwise unwanted child.

    • http://www.southsidejohnny.com/ Jukesgrrl

      If you want to be a TV political pundit, you first must have a camera shoved down your throat to make sure your larynx isn't socialist.

  • prommie

    Liz, get an old edition of Fowler's Modern English Usage, and read up on "than" and "from." Less than, more than, different from. Pet pedantic peeve of the day brought to you by Gordon's Gin, the best GIn you can buy for less than $10 a liter.

    • tessiee

      Gordon's Gin and Gilbey's Gin suffer from the same logical flaw: It should either be pronounced Gilbey's Gin or Jilbey's Jin.
      (well, I did say that I was a self-important know-it-all)

    • Negropolis

      Gordon's Gin can go drink itself into fucking oblivion for all I care.

  • owhatever

    Virginia Senate dodges the electronic argument by revising the statute to read "A two-by-four studded with nails shall be inserted in the woman's (that thing, you know what we're talking about but we don't want to be smutty). So, and therefore, when it is removed, resulting in horrible pain, she will understand what she will feel when having a baby and that an early abortion should be considered." Hey, guys, let's work on that last part a little more, huh? Bless you.

  • tessiee

    Not to overshare, but I've had more than one internal ultrasound, and anyone who can't tell the difference between the way that feels and the way sex feels has had the most pathetic sex life on the planet, EVAR.

    • prommie

      What, didn't they warm it for you?

      • GOPCrusher

        No Johnny Mathis playing in the background?

        • http://whatisawatthedevolution.blogspot.com imissopus

          Maybe dim the fluorescent overheads and light some candles?

    • DaRooster

      Should talk to Mrs. Santorum… I'm pretty sure.

  • fuflans

    someone should tell ann that as women age, we generally find that shorter hair is more flattering.

    • tessiee

      Bleaching it to the color of a brass cuspidor is usually not a good look, either.

    • C_R_Eature

      Wait – that's a Woman?

    • Loaded_Pants

      I always thought she wore it long to hide her freakishly-long neck.

      • C_R_Eature

        I always thought she wore it long to hide the Alien Neck Parasite.

  • tessiee

    Is this the same shitbag who said pepper spray was essentially a vegetable, essentially?

    • anniegetyerfun

      No, that was Meyghynnmx from Fox.

    • http://littlegreenfootballs.com/article/39308_Breitbarts_Fans_Spew_Racism_Call_for_President_Obama_t glamourdammerung

      This was the same shitbag that supports urinating on the corpses of anti-American terrorists. Too bad she lacks the basic intelligence to realize the problem in her "logic".

      • Loaded_Pants

        "They hate us because of our freedom." Yeah right, not the fact that we strip them naked, make them form pyramids while we point & laugh, bomb the shit out of their families, torture, kill them & then piss on their corpses has anything to do with it.

  • fuflans

    huh. another bagger lady all concerned with freedomz – and poking about in other ladies' private parts.

    weird. it's almost like they're not really into the whole smaller government thing.

  • fuflans

    we're almost at 2000 comments over on the other thread!

    • http://wonkette.com/ weej_bain

      chascates pushed it over the top

    • DaRooster

      Probably has something to do with 3 posts for the day….

  • TheRiverCharley

    OMG I totally got a boner just THINKING about transvaginal ultrasounds.

    • tessiee

      So did Ann.

  • TheRiverCharley

    Plus, you don't have to wipe off your belly after the doctor pulls out.

  • jgibson233

    Ms. Loesch is a disgrace to humanity.

    • Dudleydidwrong

      Yeah, but her monkey poo-throwing community really likes her.

    • http://whatisawatthedevolution.blogspot.com imissopus

      Humanity libel!

  • nonbeliever7

    I must be ignorant or lucky. Who is this loser Dana person and why is she a loser?

    • BarackMyWorld

      Yet another rightwinger the media pays attention to because of her physical appearance and ability to say outrageous things, rather than because of her (non-existent) qualifications as a political analyst or her (also non-existent) expertise in public policy.

      • http://www.southsidejohnny.com/ Jukesgrrl

        You know, if one of those Sports Illustrated swimsuit models would adopt the meme about "an alien reptile that’s been lodged in the back of Obama's head," she'd have a career for life. Not just until she gains 20 pounds.

    • Shellwith2Ls

      I'm just shocked that the right found an evil, brunette harpy as opposed to the blonde ones that staff their ranks. That's their ideal of diversity, I guess.

  • io9k9s

    Has anyone else noticed Briebart goons trolling(monitoring) comment streams?

  • HelmutNewton

    The GOP: Home of self-hating closeted gay men AND self-hating misogynist women.

  • tessiee

    yeah, and if Tranny Annie doesn't want the duct tape ripping out her pubes, she shouldn't talk about women being punished, punished, punished for sex; because, as everyone knows, that causes her to pop a huge boner…
    Excuse me for a moment, won't you?
    *projectile vomits*

    PS No offense to *actual* trannies.

    • C_R_Eature

      Congratulations. Reading halfway through that made me throw up.

    • poncho_pilot

      actual? factual?
      is Annie a trannie?
      an apple of Adam she bares.

      a pundit? a pollster?
      she leaves it unholstered.
      and she's hung like a colt, not a mare.

  • mavenmaven

    OT: Mitch Daniels making a Santorum joke: "history says the deeper the down, the sharper the up"

  • RadioSBJ

    Hey Dana, suck my ultrasound probe.

  • Callyson

    Loesch asking how a plastic device with imaging capabilities is really so different from a penis
    For those deluded women who get with Republican men, I'm sure it's not very different at all…
    Bitch.

    • SorosBot

      And their plastic devices with vibrating abilities are more satisfying than the Republican men.

  • Tundra Grifter

    Dana Loesch is lower than whale poop. She used graphic – quite false, of course but graphic nonetheless – details of the terrible assult on Laura Logan to justify Scott Walker's supporters in WI.

    She makes Ann Falter look reasonable.

    • fuflans

      wait! what?

  • Geminisunmars

    Okay, so I may be uninformed or out of the loop or just plain stupid (yes, I know, all of them Katie) but WTH does "creepy old sandwich-board-is-a-computer pervert" refer to?

    • Loaded_Pants

      I had the same response, too.
      Is it another one of those gaming references (like the ones that show up Wonkette) that I don't get?

  • VinnyThePooh

    This procedure may be perfectly acceptable back in Transvagina, but here in Merika, it kinda violates Constitutional rights, Cunt Dracula.

  • Steverino247

    Hahahaha! Check this one out (directed there by Dependable Renegade): http://peeancefreeance.files.wordpress.com/2012/0

    • Nostrildamus

      Beyond words.

    • http://www.southsidejohnny.com/ Jukesgrrl

      Total WIN.

    • C_R_Eature

      Thank you. I saved that and will cherish it always.

    • Loaded_Pants

      omg…excellent!

  • CthuNHu

    They had no problem having … a transvaginal procedure (with some person at some point in their lives, so it's totes cool for anyone else to stick something up there, also, too).

    This is good news for stalkers.

  • tessiee

    Snark-free, but:
    Isn't there already a body (tee hee) of existing law that forbids doctors (or health care providers in general) from performing unwanted medical procedures/interventions? Wouldn't mandatory vadge invasions put doctors in violation (tee hee) of laws that are already on the books?

    • PubOption

      There's the Hippocratic oath, although some people prefer the hypocritical.

    • Chichikovovich

      I'm not sure how that would go – I'll chime in until a real lawyer comes along (if one does). Prommie – you're a lawyer, right? Any opinions?

      I would guess that legally I suppose they could say that they weren't making the ultrasound mandatory, but rather making it a required part of the procedure. So I imagine you can't force someone to take a blood transfusion, but you can require doctors not to perform major operations unless blood transfusions are involved. To do otherwise would take an unacceptable risk of killing the patient.

      Now, you say "Well, that's 100% bullshit because the imagined blood transfusion restriction is for the safety of the patient, and this is just yet one more unnecessary obstacle thrown up by a bunch of pervy slut-shaming misogynists." Very true, but they will maintain – bullshitterily, though they may have convinced themselves they believe it – that this is for the safety and health of the mother. "Don't you know about all the women whose lives are ruined forever and who live out their pathetic existences drinking cheap gin lying in a gutter on skid road and wailing about killing their sweet innocent snowflake baby Adrian (had to be an androgynous name, because dear precious Adrian hadn't developed surface sex characteristics)? Our studies show they number in the millions! And all the cases of cervical cancer from abortions? Millions more." And I'm sure that there are at this point enough Bush appointed judges who regard Alito as a dangerous left-winger that this would get two thumbs up all the way to the Supremes.

  • DaRooster

    Probes from a non-lover same as pepper spray vegetables.

  • C_R_Eature

    Did anyone mention that these two give Cunts a bad name?

    No?

    These two give Cunts a bad name.

    • DaRooster

      Isn't that a Bon Jovi song?

      • C_R_Eature

        It is! Doesn't get much airplay, though…

  • http://www.wonkette.com/ FlownOver

    So, two rapes would be better than – or no worse than – one?

    Analwart says what?

  • elburritodeluxe

    I never thought id say this but you make me miss Wolf Blitzer.

  • MadBrahms

    Anyone who refers to sex as a "transvaginal procedure" has some serious problems with their pillow talk.

    • Generation[redacted]

      Is that the term she uses to differentiate from Rush's usual rentboy procedure?

  • MozakiBlocks

    Loesch asking how a plastic device with imaging capabilities is really so different from a penis:

    If I were her husband, I'd be insulted by that one.

  • chascates

    Women's ladyparts: the cause of, and solution to, all of life's problems.

    –with apologies to Homer Simpson and beer.

    • Loaded_Pants

      Republican brainparts: the cause of, and not the solution to, all of life's problems.

    • http://whatisawatthedevolution.blogspot.com imissopus

      As Homer once said about beer: Son, a beer is like a woman. They look good, they smell good, and you'd step over your own mother to get to one.

      • Loaded_Pants

        So true. But my mom was passed out in front of the fridge so I had a good excuse.

  • elburritodeluxe

    Dana is CNNs tragic attempt to seem "hip" and "edgy".

  • chascates

    Actual American Patriot (& Brokered Convention Helper) Sarah Palin releases a video today, in celebration of Presidents Day and Sarah Palin: http://www.sarahpac.com/posts/happy-presidents-da

    • Loaded_Pants

      I can't believe she actually put "BS" into a pubic statement.
      No, wait, yes I can.

    • flamingpdog

      Who are these mystic whores she keeps talking about? The ladies' auxiliary at her Wasilla looney-tunes church?

  • http://www.wonkette.com/ FlownOver

    Coulter is undoubtedly saying "I'm ready for my closeup, Mr. O'Keefe!"

  • rickmaci

    I'm looking at the picture and in the foreground you have Mann and Doesch giving each other the "I'd like to tear her clothes off" looks. And in the background, there are the two old guys looking on getting all sweaty with "when do they start wrestling in the mud" in their leers. In the middle is the CPAC sign. I don't understand. Is CPAC just cover for a Conservatard kinky sex weekend? You know, leave the SO home in Iowa and come to DC to sin and get your rocks off kinda thing? Sort of like a Democratic Convention except with a lot of lying and closeted denial?

    • flamingpdog

      And why is Dana about to squeeze her boobie with her right hand? Is that a come-on signal between her and mAnn?

      • Loaded_Pants

        "Start with this one first, Ann…I like it that way."

  • SpiderCrab

    Not "different than", but rather "different from". You're welcome.

  • Limeylizzie

    MrLimeylizzie just said that there should be a "Women's Spring" and I think that would be excellent, we should march on Washington and get up in their grille.

    • C_R_Eature

      You should look up what took place outside the Virginia State Legislature building today. I'd say that's a good start.

      • Loaded_Pants

        That was excellent.
        The lunatic who introduced the "personhood bill", Bob Marshall had this say in response to the protest:
        "I've got to deal with all these side shows with these people, who just never want to get to the plain fact that there's a very simple thing I want to do, to recognize the unborn as being a human being before the law. That's all…[The legislation] doesn't criminalize abortion, it doesn't affect birth control, and they can't point to one case where it's ever been done that way."
        Well, jackass, I guess there's no need criminalize abortion since you assholes in the GA have already passed legislation that limits women's access to it as much as possible.
        His use of the word "sideshow" is really ironic since he is referred to, in liberal/progressive circles as "Sideshow Bob".
        Pics & footage of the protest can be found here: http://www.bluevirginia.us/diary/6043/1000-people

  • littlebigdaddy

    Haha! His name is Johnson! She obv hates the Johnson.

  • lulzmonger

    Ah, Andrew Breitbart, -the hominid-shaped AIDS of nanoid journalism.

    Perhaps one day ALL corporatist ratfucks will be this morbid & hollow.

  • Negropolis

    Nah. Gonna'. Listen. Nope.

    And, Loesch is married, no less. But, we all know that more than a few conservative marriages are shams, so I can understand her genuine confusion, poor thing.

    I'm going to monetize all of the hate Tweets for Mailbag of Hate.

    That whore.

  • Negropolis

    Hey, Dana? Phyllis Schlafly called; she wants her schtick back.

  • freddymcmurray

    this shrill-voiced cunt invades my radio airwaves on this god-forsaken 97.1 radio station on a daily basis. MINUS 100 COOL POINTS for her. If you don't get that "joke", it means you either don't live in st. louis, or you are wise enough to never to listen to this she devil. may she rot in hell.

  • http://littlegreenfootballs.com/article/39308_Breitbarts_Fans_Spew_Racism_Call_for_President_Obama_t glamourdammerung

    It sounds like she got suspended from her CNN gig after the stupidity she spewed about how urinating on corpses was "a million cool points" and is feebly trying to get any press to try to get her job back.

  • freddymcmurray

    German students will instantly recognize Dana Loesch's name as a command.

    "Dana, loesch! "

    (Dana, purge!) Her last name also translates to "turn-off", as if that needed to be said.

  • fitley

    I think if Dana had Andrew BreitTard insert her weekly check in her "box" instead of her mailbox she would have a better understanding of what "consent" is all about.

  • Buckminster

    Hello, there's the little matter of "consensual," you harpie.

  • banana_bread

    I've said this in a comment on Wonkette before but I think it bears repeating.

    I've had several transvaginal ultrasounds – due to getting knocked up, and also due to ovarian cysts – and they SUCK. A lot.

    You have to drink something like 32 oz of water within an hour of the ultrasound, so your bladder is full; this is either so the tech can get his/her jollies out of your pain or to give them a clearer picture. (I suspect the former.) Then they take their phallic rod, pop a condom over it, lube it up with jelly (which may or may not be cold) and shove it in your hoo-ha. They hit your cervix and then jam it up against the top wall of your vagina. Then you have to try really hard to sit still and not pee all over the tech.

    It is approximately as fun as it sounds, which is to say about as fun as a root canal. I can only imagine how traumatizing it must be for people being forced into it.

  • DahBoner

    How is an ultrasound different than having sex?

    The first one you're waving at the baby, in the second you're poking him with a big stick, except buttsex…

  • Ultra_C

    You're right, Liz, probing a woman's va ja ja with an ultrasound device is soooooo much worse than what she's planning on doing to that unborn baby with her Dyson.

  • Ultra_C

    Let's make a deal, libtards: we'll stop probing your vaginas with ultrasound wands, and you stop brutally murdering unborn children. Deal?

    • SorosBot

      There's no such thing as an unborn child, moron. No one is murdering anyone, you evil, vile, woman-hating cocksucking shithead. Please go castrate yourself.

  • nanooknw

    Something about kissing you first…

  • http://krisbunda.com/blog/index.php Designer_Rants

    I like the guy holding the "Guns Save Lives" sign while doing his best "300" scream.

  • Loaded_Pants

    That's one pale crowd in that pic. And what is up with screaming guy's coat?

  • RadioSBJ

    prommies' rant is brilliant, as usual, but I just go with the shorter phrase: tatterdemalion of the soul.

  • chicken_thief

    Ribbed?

  • Dudleydidwrong

    But does the condom have the little cuppy tip to catch the, uh, gel-stuff?

  • HistoriCat

    Not any that I ever saw.

  • SorosBot

    Having them means a pretty much guaranteed trip to the full porno body scan machine, according to some owners of big boobs I know.

  • HistoriCat

    Egg-zackly.