Republican voters have had an entire year now give or take to make up their minds about who they want as their candidate for president, yet they continue to gnash their teeth and weep blood a year later like some game show contestant given two minutes to stare at a row of identical boxes and correctly choose the one with the prize (a bag of poop) inside it or be electrocuted with an anal probe. Which is why a crusty gym sock like Rick Santorum is somehow now completely tied with a rectangular dildo like Mitt Romney in the Mitt-bot’s home state of Michigan, and why Republican leaders are secretly plotting some kind of mass suicide ritual known as “choosing any random other candidate less insane than the idiots already in the race to go and join the race at this late date” if Mitt can’t seal up the nomination post haste. One anonymous panicky U.S. Senator confirms this, according to ABC News!
We’re going to go ahead and guess it’s Jim DeMint:
A prominent Republican senator just told me that if Romney can’t win in Michigan, the Republican Party needs to go back to the drawing board and convince somebody new to get into the race.
“If Romney cannot win Michigan, we need a new candidate,” said the senator, who has not endorsed anyone and requested anonymity.
The senator believes Romney will ultimately win in Michigan but says he will publicly call for the party to find a new candidate if he does not.
“We’d get killed,” the senator said if Romney manages to win the nomination after he failed to win the state in which he grew up.
Who even knows why we read through this article. Is this new information, that the Republican party is completely screwed after years of polarizing themselves so far into the corner that all they can do is stand in it and scream? No, we just got drawn in trying to guess which mystery GOP Senator was vindictive enough to leak this kind of soundbite. We’re still going with Jim DeMint. Other theories, readers?
Meanwhile, what is Mitt Romney’s grand pitch to his home state voters?
On the campaign trail in Michigan, Mitt Romney listed what he loves about his birth state. The people, the cars, the lakes, the air – and even the trees. “The trees are just the right height,” he said, without explanation.
Yeah. It’s all playing into Sarah Palin’s master plan. [ABC News]
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Such good news on a Friday afternoon.
Wait, wait, blood, perhaps, stigmata?
He is a christian? Really? Not a Mormon?
Oh, my Jeebus! E oh la!
Oh, my Jeebus! E ^^B^^ oh la!
FIFY, NNTT
Some one pass the Kool-Aid over to Senator DeMint please.
Oh yeahhhhhh!!!!!
And the bag of lightly-salted poisoned rat dicks, also. Too.
"Mistah, we could use a man like Hoibert Hoovah again!"
Stifle!
"Geddoudah my Chayah!"
Not Hoobert Heever?
I had that album!
Ooooh, Jeeez!
The thing is that Herbert Hoover would never pass muster with today's Republican'ts, what with the Quaker business and the "feeding starving Europeans" stuff.
Yup. These are people who rail against Authoritarian Big Government and then proudly claim to be to the right of Attila the Hun. Without a hint of Irony.
Demon Sheep '12!
gawd how I love the Demon Sheep…he's got me hypmotized!
We've had nothing to compare with Demon Sheep or Traffic Stop Slavery this electoral season. Yet.
Here's hoping.
there should be biannual awards for campaign ads if they don't exist yet. i think they should be called The Daisy.
Anybody besides me think that Romney has Asperger's?
Nope, he is kinda like an idiot/savant, except he's idiot/idiot.
idiot savant sounds a little too "French" for the Mitt "je m'appelle" Romney campaign. he might pull a Newt and try to take someone to court.
Wouldn't that make him "high functioning"?
well his OS is written in a high-level language.
I thought for sure he was running Windoze.
That would imply some garbage collection.
It would explain a lot.
I think it's nurture, not nature; with his upbringing and life he is just so completely out of touch with normal, non-super-rich people that he just can't relate to anybody who comes from outside of his aristocratic class, and doesn't even comprehend the concerns most of us face.
How can you say such a thing? Why, I'll betcha $10,000….. oh never mind.
perfect, well said…I've never seen such an out-of-touch douchebag in 'Merkan politics in my lifetime and there's been some real contenders (see Bush/ bush/ Reagan, etc) Even the semi-aristocratic John Kerry was at least semi-relatable (of course he was only rich cuz he married an already-rich bitch) I'd have a nice glass of FRENCH wine with him!
I don't know. George Bush the Elder discovering how grocery store scanners work was pretty classic.
Though Mittens is definitely a strong contender in the out-of-touch olympics.
That was … jaw-dropping. I remember seeing it on TV. And GHW, despite all his faults (and they are many) at least served his nation when called upon to do so. This elitist prick serves nobody and nothing but his own damn self.
As far as nurture, none of his mom and dad's basic decency and sanity seem to have rubbed off.
Santorum has Assburgers.
Which is not to be confused with anus burgers.
"Scarsdale Lockjaw" is not a speech defect.
I thought he was just a rich asshole who would pretend to be anything in order to become president.
The Asperger diagnosis presents a person who had little or no ability to comprehend social cues and signals and does not present that way because of family, social or cultural nurturing. Romney seems to present as a person who was incorrectly nurtured to respond to socialization and to interactions in family, social and cultural circumstances.
What is the clinical term for a social chameleon…a Zelig?
Newt?
He's also kind of a dick.
Kind of?
That might explain why he "likes the cars" in Michigan, but couldn't care less if they were all Toyotas and Hondas.
We had one of those…this guy was such a huge and renown asshole.
http://www.independent.co.uk/life-style/health-an...
I always thought Thatcherism was the ultimate (at the time) in tone-deafness and complete lack of empathy. Now I understand why.
"You say you're starving? Lalalala can't hear you – we have islands to invade!"
Yes – I've always been in awe of the kind of detachment that showed itself when she was finally dragged by her advisors to actually visit Scotland, and she showed up to a (Catholic) Celtic match in Glasgow wearing the colors of their hated rivals (Protestant) Rangers.
Give me the needle, give me the rope.
That's not detachment. That's passive aggressive hooliganism.
Fuck me blind. That takes tone-deafness to glorious new heights, don't it?
I've only recently learned about the ethnic/religious rivalries having extending all the way to soccer clubs, and it is fascinating!
If only our sports teams in the US were closely linked to ethnic groups AND religion, we would have some very interesting football games,especially in college. Notre Dame vs Alabama would become Papists vs Baptists. The National Guard would sure get a workout every weekend.
Yes, if by "has Asperger's" you mean, "is an assburger".
From the interactions I've had with high-functioning Aspies, he strikes me as one.
Honestly? He does not seem smart enough. Also, I don't think he has any trouble at all interacting with the other folks in his class. I doubt he stands out in a group of rich white business men who have themselves grown up wealthy.
Still, food for thought.
High-functioning Aspies are smart only as it pertains to their particular obsessions and interests. Mathematicians and scientists in general have a tendency to be high-functioning Aspies. I was thinking of a particular acquaintance, a brilliant mathematician, who had absolutely NO knowledge or interest in *any*thing outside of mathematics. He would often say things that left other people completely flabbergasted. Then he would sometimes look around and say, "Who said that?" As if it was the most normal thing in the world. As a mathematician, there weren't many people who could hold a candle to him. As a human being, though, everyone around him was simply terrified that he would find himself in a situation that his mathematical skills couldn't decipher. Like the time he picked up a hypodermic syringe with blood and (obviously) drug residue and went looking for someone to tell him what it was. I have to add here that he was very dark-skinned, with a thick accent, and about six feet tall. Oy.
Now there's ya a short story.
Did he have a long-form birth certificate?
Yeah- for breakfast, lunch, and dinner.
At least the "ass" part.
I considered that too, but the foks I know with Asperger's have difficulty interacting with everyone, and I expect Mittrens fits in just find with those like him, the rich assholes and the Mormons. Besides, I've never seen an Asperger's sufferer act this stupid.
He's not stupid when it comes to high finance, obviously. It's just that he has no interest in anyone or thing outside of that, and therefore is incapable of interacting with them.
It is not hard to make money after daddy hands you a large amount of it in the first place and in terms of his financial endeavors, they are simply unsustainable. You can only gut and bankrupt so many companies until you run out of functioning businesses.
I'm not convinced he has any smarts, even as a high financier. I would have to see it on a videotape of something. With what he projects every goddamn time he opens his claptrap, I just can't see it.
Bain Capital made a shitload of money. They made it (mostly) dishonestly, and it was not a sustainable modus operandi, as glamour points out (see above) but the fact is, they had a very successful business model for its time. You (and I) might not like it, but we can't argue with the facts. The data available show that Bain Capital had a successful, if short-term, business plan.
Now, Romney in person is a charmless flipflopping whore. But that doesn't change the fact that he figured out how to make a shitload of money, and did it successfully, competing against some of the most obnoxious sharks in the world. I could not do what he did. If you could, you should certainly share it with us. We'd upfist you like crazy.
And all this time I thought he was just a common frat boy douchebag.
Anybody besides me think that Romney has Asperger's?
I am not seeing any displays of intelligence or even basic competence, so I am unsure why anyone would think that.
He got his JD at the same time he got his MBA, and he got both from Harvard. While Harvard is known to give passing grades to the children of wealthy donors, a double degree like that doesn't come about from Daddy's money.
You're certainly free to trash the guy all you want, but sticking with, you know, facts, is never a bad idea.
Given how many years he has been running for president, how his corporate practices were best described as parasitic, and the Olympic nonsense, I am just not seeing it. The guy may be intelligent like you suggest, but there is a pretty clear lack of competence in my opinion.
That's a fair cop. I'll give you competence, if you'll give me intelligence, so to speak. He's not stupid, by a long shot. But he has not lived up to the hype in terms of executing things competently.
I withdraw my rude snarkiness and humbly beg your forgiveness. I shouldn't have been so rude about it.
Nah, I like the people I've met with Aspergers.
Having aspergers (probably) I had to read your post three times before upfisting you.
"It’s all playing into Sarah Palin’s master plan."
Is Bristol pregnant again?
Is she breeding a race of Uruk-hai? Please say no.
Well, the Uruk-hai do kinda look like they are sporting Bumpits or maybe the skull shape is just similar. . . .
That did not at all sound like the word "no".
Now, there will be Nightmares.
Could you imagine what a great football them they could have at Uruk High?
Srsly. And what kind of football chants they would have! Also teh cheerlead … never mind.
No. But I only said that because you asked me to, and in reality, yes, she is.
Well, I was really scared for a bit, but thinking about it now I don't think we need to worry.
Sure, they breed rapidly and Sarah's no doubt stockpiled enough Wine Coolers to generate a fearsome army.
However, all of them will end up transferring to 7 boot camps just to complete Basic Training and halfway through the first attack they'll all quit.
Brilliant.
Preggers gonna grift.
I think Willow's on deck, ready to to go to bat.
I was thinkin' Piper…too soon? http://www.godammit.com/2008/10/24/is-mrs-palin-a...
Very nice, D_J. I like that writer. Also, terrific photos of the Yoruba deities!
What? Where?
Yoruba deities? Are they responsible for the disappearance of Natalie Holloway?
I think it's too soon to pick on Piper. Wait until she grows into the young grifter she's being groomed to be.
I'm holding out all my hope for Piper. Growing up in that freakshow family will lead to a seriously fucked-up adolescence full of substance abuse and degrading sexual experimentation, but she'll get her life together, write the angriest tell-all memoir ever published, then go to grad school, meet a cute Asian-American hipster in her Women's Studies seminar, get gay-married, and anchor a top show on MSNBC.
Somewhere in there, she'll also front a feminist punk band, become a brain surgeon, and change her name to Piper Banzai.
The picture is Perfect Palin. Louis Vuitton bag in one hand and Mickey-D's soda in the other.
Knock-off LV, no less.
It's a style my mom has so lovingly referred to as "Meth Lab Chic."
Oh, noes. Please noes. I can't take it.
I can take it, if it means seeing her get whipped worse than 2008.
Undefeated, my ass.
You got it.
Probably the younger one, Aspen or Beech, or whatever that little tart's name is.
Trucker
Stool
Navy
Aqua
Motor
Chimichanga (mixed grandbaby)
Moglie
Priest
Branch
Spud
Fuchsia
Tampon
"What's a tampon?" – every Palin girl
Marshmallow
Treetop
Garage
Turd
Cessna?
Back when that Sarah Palin Baby Name Generator was making the rounds (a year after Little Suzie was born — doh!), my Palin name was "Tractor Wrangler Palin"
Mine was "Fire Patriot Palin".
somewhere, Chuck Norris is jealous.
I always thought Sarah threw a dart to choose her children's names.
Why not? She threw a dart at a box of rubbers to get the kids in the first place.
Ohhhhh, Bristol is Mittens's fifth secret wife?
Yeah, Sarah's trading her for the VP slot. Then Bristle smothers Mitt in his sleep during his one night of the week sleeping with her and BOOM! President Palin.
What use does Marco Rubio have for Bristol?
Beard.
What use does God have for a starship?
It's like watching a cartoon character, after painting himself into a corner, start screaming because he's also run out of the Acme™ Brand checkered paint that he used to do it.
And the Rethuglican plan is… if we only use another brand of paint, it'll all be okay!
Navaho white is the go to color.
Fishbelly White.
I have spent 30 years in design. I know the color names. Thank you very much. It helps having interior knowledge, well ask Barb. She is our den mother and should know.
Well then, more uh, white power to ya?
There is no "Rethuglican plan." They're utterly baffled by the fact that the electorate isn't standing in the corner with them, and they have absolutely no idea what to do now.
A new candidate, spit out of a brokered convention, would be named in fucking AUGUST, and have two months to mount a national campaign againt a supremely prepared and united Democratic juggernaut. And simutaneously appeal to independents, libertardians, Xtarded religious loons, and teabagging wingnuts. Even Mitt, the ultimate GOPbot, can't flip and flop fast enough to keep all of those clowns in the car.
The GOP's owners have good reason to panic, and I guarantee a vicious "We Hate Obama"(TM) campaign as they flog the one and only issue that unites them all.
Nice summation.
"There is no "Rethuglican plan." They're utterly baffled by the fact that the electorate isn't standing in the corner with them, and they have absolutely no idea what to do now."
I can't help being reminded of the Simpsons episode where Marge is helping a biker gang get jobs. She says, "Try not to call your interviewer a punk or a skank", and one of the bikers says, in a tone of amazed discovery, "Ohhh! DON'T call them skanks!"
These eight white Christian billionaires have spent so long in the echo chamber that they're that clueless about the rest of us. They honestly don't understand the relationship between cause and effect that makes people dislike them when they, say for example, sell a factory, put an entire county out of work and pocket the proceeds from the sale in a tax-free offshore bank account. They've spent the last thirty or so years making themselves obscenely rich by robbing the rest of us, dabbled in racism, pandered to the useful idiots on the religious right… and now, they're completely out of ideas.
I'm late to the party, but those were two great comments, BB and t.
Agreed, hell I even copy/ pasted BOTH of those comments for later use when the REAL fun breaks out in September!
the republican primary is looking more and more like the trailer for 'iron sky'.
Ron Paul's dirigible stars as "Hindenburg v2.0: the reloveution"
Iron Sky? Try Meet The Feebles.
Mitt Romney listed what he loves about his birth state. The people, the cars
“If the advice that he [Romney] had prescribed in November of 2008 had been followed by either the Bush administration or the Obama administration, we would have today no auto industry, no Detroit, no state of Michigan — no exaggeration.”
The GOP are fucked in this election cycle. Bammaz doesn't need to do a damn thing but eat in Chinese restaurants and look cool and it'll be a landslide.
Oh, Mitt Mitt Mitt. Put Ford, GM, and Chrysler on one side and Barry Gordy, Aretha, Marvin, Stevie and Smoky on the other. What do we love about Michigan? Please.
Eminem libel!
It's Half-assed time in America
Yes, it is.
I know which side I'm voting for. ARETHA, BABY, I LOVE YOU!
No disr.e.s.p.e.c.t intended, but I love this clip.
I think we share the same execrable taste in movies, pdog, old pal. That is one of my favorite films, next to Blazing Saddles.
Oh, holy gee, I meant to tell ya, or maybe I already did: I just watched a Bollywood movie called Delhi Belly, and I hate to admit how much I laughed, considering that the whole thing is nothing but shit jokes and horrendous slapstick shenanigans. Checkidout, dood.
"Put Ford, GM, and Chrysler on one side and Barry Gordy, Aretha, Marvin, Stevie and Smoky on the other."
Please don't make me choose between classic Motown and classic Mustangs.
I like how Mitt's spin on this is that he thinks GM & Chrysler could have come through Chapter 11 just fine without that evil government intervention–as if any banks would have given 'em the loans they needed to do the restructuring.
Hell, within the next election cycle, the R's will be claiming that the revived GM & Chrysler were held back by the bailout.
Not to mention people will say "My next car will be a Ford, no more Gov't Motors!" When they don't realize the only reason Ford squeaked through with no bailout is because they mortgaged themselves to the hilt, even their "blue oval" logo, just before the financial sector melted down. So the banks that loaned Ford all those dollars were bailed out too, so what's the difference?
I wish more people knew this. Ford was literally selling off or refinancing every piece of property, every single thing they had down to the corporate headquarters in Dearborn. And, even Ford said at the hearings that if GM and Chrysler would have been left to the wolves, Ford wouldn't have suvived because the supply chain would have collapsed. Hell, even Toyota's American division said the same.
this reminds me of the last discussion i had with a wingnut when he kept repeating over and over at ever increasing volume that the government doesn't create jobs or make anything. lol.
but you present facts. something wingnuts don't believe in.
This I didn't know. Not that my intention was to ever buy a Ford, but I had some respect for them for not taking government money.
Very interesting.
http://n.pr/zCpIJA
Hell, at this point he could just eat in halal restaurants wearing "Hello Kitty in a Burquini"-brand underwear on his head and it'll be a landslide.
Oh, they still sell those?
Sure! Well, only in Oklahoma, of course. Glad I saved mine in the original package, I'm gonna retire on that suckah!
Yeah, but I bet you left eye tracks all over them. Worthless.
That, I would pay good money to see.
I think you can get those in Syria, according to MittBorg! (wink)
Lots of feathers and sequins. No burquinis, tho.
Hey, I take umbrage at Chinese restaurant remark. Some of my best friends are chinese and much smarter than whiteys will every be. And their food
No one has lost any
Lost any what? Brains?
T
Hey, LagunaB, welcome.
I wasn't attempting to make some kind of racist dogwhistle, merely talking about how Obama rolled in SF the other day. Turned up and ordered Chinese food himself.
Today we are all Sarah Silverman trying to get out of jury duty
I loved her follow-up to that…"I got in trouble for saying the word “Chink” on a talk show, a network talk show. It was in the context of a joke. Obviously. That’d be weird. That’d be a really bad career choice if it wasn’t. But, nevertheless, the president of an Asian-American watchdog group out here in Los Angeles, his name is Guy Aoki, and he was up in arms about it and he put my name in the papers calling me a racist, and it hurt. As a Jew—as a member of the Jewish community—I was really concerned that we were losing control of the media. Right? What kind of a world do we live in where a totally cute white girl can’t say “Chink” on network television? It’s like the fifties. It’s scary… there are only two Asian people that I know that I have any problem with, at all. One is, uh, Guy Aoki. The other is my friend Steve, who actually went pee-pee in my Coke. He’s all, ‘Me Chinese, me play joke.’ Uh, if you have to explain it, Steve, it’s not funny."
And is taking some grief because the restaurant had shark fin soup on the menu.
I understand he is weighing potential replies
Sharkfin soup? Watch out Barry, your liberal base has TEETH!
Oh for fuck's sake.
Oh for christ's sake, Fukui-san, it's not like you personally ordered the Rape of Nanking, right? Right?
Jesus, what kind of Chinese restaurants do they have in Arkansas?
Owls. No, no, no. Or should I say "Tora tora tora"? That was me.
But Nanking? That was other kids.
Weeel … actually … Fukui-san was hoping you wouldn't bring that up …
Hey, man…I'll cop to invadin' Poland but those Concentration Camps, totally those Other Guys!
"The GOP are fucked in this election cycle."
I'm half convinced that they're not sending in the first team because they don't *want* to win. Of course, that raises the question of whether they *have* a first team.
I've been thinking for a while that they don't want to win this election, because they would have to do stuff once they are in power to fulfill all their caterwauling, and that would muck up the economy even more and it would be blatantly obvious that their ideology is wrong and bad. I don't know. But they really couldn't have done worse if they had planned it all along.
It''s not blatantly obvious yet?
Apparently not to their base.
100% spot on: Their '12 game is in the Senate.
amen my Fukyu friend!
I'm tellin' ya — my Hopey must be the luckiest dood on the planet, because, damn, these people can't shoot enough feet off. They must be fuckin' cephalopodian creatures from some inferior civilization who've infiltrated us, as careless as they are about all this foot-shootin'. DAYUM.
Your replies exceed your pee-ness. Congrats!
“The trees are just the right height,” he said, without explanation.
Just the right height for the GOP to hang itself.
Yeah, you know, of all the things to criticize about the Northwest, how about: "The trees are too damn high!"
Sure, why not.
I think I've seen the "Trees are too damn high" guy running for office somewhere. Strange dude.
I think that I shall never see
A future for the GOP.
Perhaps unless these idiots fall
I'll never see a Pug at all.
Oh, I love pugs.
The fourfoot kind? Those are exempt. I'm talking about Rethuglypugs.
Senator X is really Romney's missing older brother!
Go Speed Romney, go Speed Romney go!
Poor Spritle & Chim-Chim, tied to the roof of the Mach 5….
Damn – total win.
he's chuck cunningham..
"The trees are just the right height" huh? This particular dog whistle is a little harder to decipher than most, but wingnuts in the know hear it as "dude, seriously, the president is still BLACK."
That would mean trees "just the right height" for teh blah lynchings, obvs.
[Perhaps I hear this dog whistle clearly 'cuz the folks are from Knoxville, which means my blood type is T positive (for Trailer Trash)]
That's what I thought – because who would say the "trees are the right height"? The trees are the right height for what? Android man would say anything, so it wouldn't surprise me.
Oh silly me. I thought it was just another unintentional revealing of Mitt's thinly veiled penis insecurity.
Silly *me*, I thought he was beinging anti-environment. “These trees are just the right height– to clear cut”
Oh, I'm O neg. universal donor. Get in a catastrophe.
What
Perhaps he heard that idiotic anecdote* about Lincoln saying that a man's legs "ought to be long enough to reach the ground," and thought it would be "folksy" to say something similarly insipid.
*See also Woody Allen's sketch on this alleged question. Why would anyone ask the president–or anyone else, for that matter–how long a man's legs should be?
Wait, it's a dick joke, isn't it? Fuck me.
Sadly, I am not a person of the BLAH persuasion, so this went right over my head. That is truly disgusting, though. Why do these fuckheads want to hurt that man so much? He's done nothing to them that he hasn't done to at least 200 million other people, and most of us don't seem to mind because we think he's doing a reasonably good job. Where does all this hate come from?
They were up Clinton's ass from the minute he took the oath of office, and Clinton was a white guy — from the South, no less — so the bashing didn't have quite the same ugly note of racism.
Their combination of cluelessness and entitlement makes them unable to understand why they don't win every election: "Hi, we fucked up everything, but we can keep running things anyway, right?" So when somebody else wins, or I guess I should say wins by enough of a margin that they can't steal the election, it's literally *beyond their comprehension*, and they can't understand why someone else is in the office that's their rightful due.
Their screeching hatred really wears on me, though. I'm thinking it's time to take a break from it all, go live in Bali for a year without the InnerToobz or something. The ex ran off to Cairo for a year, and thence to the Andaman islands, a location so remote that the sole telephone line on the island was also the only way to send a fax, so if anyone was doing the one, one couldn't do the other. I'm beginning to see the attraction.
Andaman Islands? I have it on good authority that that is a very very nice spot.
Is there anybody sane or who hasn't pulled a John McCain-style ideology transplant even left at this point? The only ones left are the Republicrats……oh God, please, please don't tell me they're thinking about defrosting Zell Miller.
Racist former Democratic governors, you say? I'll see your Zell Miller and raise you an Orval Faubus.
He might be a bit worm-eaten but he couldn't be worse for the repubs than what they've got now.
Why exhume/reanimate a racist former governor, when Haley Barbour fits the bill and is still alive and kicking? Sure, he may have pardoned four murderers on his last day in office because they mowed his yard, but he can fucking shred on the dog whistle.
George Wallace could win this sitting down.
Yeah, but the veal still sucks.
v. funny
i see what you did there
Very well. Begin the thawing of Jim Nabors.
Release the robotic Richard Simmons!
This race obvs. needz moar Lester Maddox.
Somebody get down to Lowes and Home Depot and buy up all the axe handles. I would like to get a table for dinner tonight without any trouble.
Hey, mayor_quimby, how do?
Last night I saw Lester Maddox on a TV show
With some smart-ass New York Jew…
You know how those New York Jews are. Always with the smart-ass.
please don't tell me they're thinking about defrosting Zell Miller"
They already defrosted him. He's currently Pope Benedict.
Wait….. no no not that one. No more Joementum. I beg you do not do this.
Draft Jeb Bush, 2012!
Ah ha ha ha hahahah hahahahahaha he he heheheehe ho ho ho
Popcorn. Need Popcorn.
That's likely what will happen. Palin / Bush 2012 or maybe Bachmann / Bush 2012?
Bush/Frothy 2012!
If you're gonna go down, go down Big.
No. I'm pretty sure Palin waxes.
Except after eight years of his brother, Jeb Bush ain't beatin' Obama, and that is a fact you can take to the bank. And LOSING to Obama will end Jeb's political career, because that boy has his eye on the WH, and losin' to the BLAH N-dude whom the Republicans have been painting for the last four years as "weak, ineffectual, prone to cave at the slightest pressure, incompetent, disorganized, unable to keep his own base happy, indecisive, lacking leadership, bowing to terrorists, etc." — that's gonna look REAL good on Jeb's resume.
And those are the polite things they've said about O.
True dat. The impolite ones, I don't even want to think about.
all of em, katie.
speaking of bush, where is the ladybug these days?
Basil Marceaux / Alvin Greene 2012!!!!
Nooooo-ooooo-ooooo! Nooooo! Nooooooo-ooooooo!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7y0yr6Z5sgs
"When the howling stopped…"
Basil Fawlty/Alvin Lee 2012!!!!
My favorite ticket!
But, to nitpick, his name is basilmarceaux.com.
Drugs. Need drugs.
I'll
DrinkDrug to that!*Sorry I popped at you last night. Uncalled for.*
Absolutely not. I demand you retract that statement forthwith. The second one, not the first. I'm not sayin' nuthin' bout the first.
It was just what I needed, and especially Frank, so to speak. I thoroughly enjoyed that. So stop, awreddy, pull yourself together, and get back to Having Fun. It's what we do best in these parts.
Duly Retracted and fully Pulled Together.
Thanks!
Fun is Being Had at the end of this enormous Thread. Go see.
convince somebody new to get into the race
jeb bush or fattie mcchristie?
Tim Pawlenty-of-Z's. The strategy is to get Dem voters to sleep right through election day.
Hey, it's a plan … which is more than they have right now.
Good luck finding a tree that would hold up Jeb's or Chris's fat ass.
a sequoia, maybe.
Even those would be hard put to manage.
Jeb is NOT gonna do it. He has no guarantee of winning. And if he loses, he has no hope of EVAH winning the WH. He's saving himself for 2016.
Looks like the GOP nominee will be decided within the friendly confines of the VIP room at Tampa's "World Famous" Mons Venus.
I wander is Sarah will be performing there?
Schadenfreude, it's what's for dinner.
The schaden, it freuds itself.
A dish best served ice cold.
I'll have a venti schaden, extra freude.
That's what your mother said. /connery
Other theories, readers?
Walnuts comes to mind. He knows all about losing…
I thought it might be elected ruminant Chuck Grassley, but his statement was actually "Romney 4 wn in Mgan or trble ahed 4gop"
Wrong Chuck; I think we should ask Chuck Barris, only he knows the identity of The Unknown Senator.
LIEberman / Brewer 2012
"It's got what plants crave."
Manure?
Dood, I know plants. You'd be surprised at what they crave. Here's a partial list: BONE meal; BLOOD meal; CALCIUM from bones.
In case you still suffer doubts, bury a whole dead creature underneath a plant sometime. It'll give you the most beautiful flowers and tastiest fruit.
Does it have to be human? Does it have to be mine?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e6DjLFX6m6I&fe...
NTD, we've been discussing my switching avs/names since Mittens is now decidedly getting his ass whupped, and I'd really like to take Santorum down, heh, a peg or two.
Whadya think? Should I become FrothyRick, just for the nonce? I have a great RickZombie jpeg I'm *dying * to use. You tell us, dood.
… & maybe he knows all about paybacks too?
The World's Oldest Angry Young Man sure has good reason for some recreational ratfuckery: the GOP fucked him hard with no lube in 2000, & arguably in 2008 too – his campaign was an unfunny joke well before they let him pick Sarah "Albatrossacuda" Palin, & nobody ever took ol' Johnny Wet-Start aside & made him give his lumpy head a shake when he desperately needed it.
Also, Romney DOES plaster on the make-up like a trollop. The cunt.
They got nuthin'.
I KNEW Mittens would never get through this shit. I knew it. I did NOT see Rick Santorum coming, eeeeeewww. I also thought we'd kill him here, but whatevs. ALLLLL of the "politically active" read:racists I know are up the Rick Santorum Appalachian Trail. So fucked up.
This whole time all I could do was ENTERTAIN myself with the idea of a Santorum/Obama race. Now … I'm speechless (typeless.) I'm trying not to jinx it.
Ya think it's time for me to switch avs/names to Santorum (ew!)?
Don't do that to yourself, MB! How about 'Brokered Convention Messiah'? Too long, I guess.
Well, as ntDewey pointed out way back when, anytime I switch to some hapless fool's av/name, they end up getting trounced. I became MittBorg, thinking, well, that'll NEVAH happen to Mittens, but lookit, he is getting his ass beat nine ways to Sunday, heah! And I can't stand Rick Santorum. Let's see what NotThatDewey has to say about it,eh?
That's what I mean about "jinxing," MB! I don't know what to do! But how 'bout "PopeFecal"? "FrothyVest"? "Fecal&TheMix"? (for after a running mate is chosen.) …"FrothierThanThou"?
I'm liking all those, since I found a photoshop of PigBall Santorum, done Shephard Fairey-style, except with FROTHY.
Decisions, decisions. I SO want to jinx this little prick.
You'll notice that Negropolis is using Santorum's "O-face" as an avpic, while I'm still prohibited from using Tagg Romney. Does that seem fair to you?
No, it does not. I hereby lift any prohibitions against the squint-eyed Trad. Go for it, dood.
Is it time for me to do the Santorum switcheroo? Wut you tink?
I know I say this all the time, but eeewwww.
Would you please send out some tasteful printed announcement cards in advance next time you switch personas? I always end up confused for a day or two.
Right, tasteful printed announcement, got that. Thanks.
Don't do that to yourself, PoliCat. That would be taking too much for the team. And think of your little ones. (those ones that like to jump upon healing knees).
True. They don't like Santorum AT ALL.
I'm so glad to see you here, my dear. We've had hell in the house this past weekend with sickness and sorrow and what not. But I'll put it all in the blog with the recipe I promised you before today is over.
(Hugs the girl) It's just good to see your sweet and loving face, if only virtually.
"up the Rick Santorum Appalachian Trail"
And when they pull out of that Appalachian Trail, Santorum leaks out?
It's more of a Santorum Spew. Gush? These people are REALLY full of shit.
FakaktaSouth, jusdt knowing you are out here somewhere with me makes me smile.
These racist redneck shit spewers. I swear to GAWD!
Ah, this brings back memories of a certain ex-governor who was out "hiking the Appalachian Trail"!
Mistress? Nah! Been Hikin' The Appalachian Trail, Dummies!
That's the Appalachian Tail you're thinking of.
Just remember that this was the guy who lost his last bid for reelection by eighteen points (and I for one was proud to be part of kicking him out of the Senate), all because he's a completely unlikable douchebag. And he's made banning fucking contraception the cornerstone of his campaign. A Santorum nomination would mean total doom for the GOP.
I am proud to be Soros Adjacent in your voting out of said scumbaggery. I will tell you this – I don't put shenanigans past Karl and crew from being able to steal this whole deal for Mitt. BUT, based purely on observing the riff raff I know (and I even know a couple of folks running to be GOP delegates in their districts) ALmost ALL of them are supporting Santorum, and Doc Paul's got some love. I know NO ONE, and I mean NO ONE that will say they are supporting the Romster. There is no enthusiasm for the "establishment" here. RICK IS THE CRAZY THAT THEY SEEK. See y'all don't believe me, but it IS THAT BAD amongst these freaks and their bubble is so serious that this is what their LCD demands have wrought and they are dumb enough to like it. Whoever this source was wasn't from the south. I promise you. It could really really really be Rick. It really could.
All of them? Eeh. The Republicans I know are all supporting Romney; but then, they're all Northeastern urban Republicans and at lest semi-reasonable (well with one exception, but then he doesn't vote) and not frothing-at-the-mouth lunatic types.
All of them. We are the lunatic fringe. This is it. It is the purest form of all the stupidity of the W movement, the hatred of the religious right, the racism and just plan incorrect on the facts-ness of the tea party. It has boiled down to the basic demands of no abortion, no welfare, hopping in a circle. The ones that I know who won't vote, but "would be" Romney supporters are all "If Obama can game the unemployment numbers below 8% and keep gas under $4 per gallon average through November, he probably wins" about it. Cynical, but no fight in em whatsoever.
I've got to tell you, I'm shocked Santorum is doing as well as he is, up here. Michigan's GOP used to be very much like the Northeastern GOP, fiscally conservative, socially libertarian to liberal, even, because most of them were Catholic. Governor Milliken would have to run as a Democrat, today. Even in the 90's, this was still very much the rule. I don't know what happened and exactly when it happened that the Evangelicals were able to co-opt the Catholics, up here, but it had to have been sometime early in the last decade. By the time Granholm had become governor, they'd gone full-on crazy.
What happened was Fucks Gnus.
Every single one of my former friends who've gone off the right-wing cliff are Fucks Gnus addicts. They've completely gone through the looking glass, and 90% of their "facts" are pure steaming bullshit, fresh from Roger Ailes' ass. It's a national tragedy.
we worked for bamz in MI in '08. holland i think? it was actually pretty sad – so many dirt poor households clearly left behind by society in so many ways – and all they could talk about was 'abortion' and 'democrats are pro-choice'.
then we got back to our favorite chicago pub and got in a fight with a racist mama's little meathead.
Shouldn't that be "Henanigans" ?
You damn with vast understatement. Karl and crew have done more damage to the campaign and election process than will possibly be repaired in my lifetime.
Santorum crashed in PA mostly for the fact that he came out in favor of raising the Social Security age to 70. That had much more of a negative impact on his campaign than any of his wingnut religious ideas (many of which are shared by people in the Keystone state). Pennsylvanians just don't wanna be working when they're in their late sixties and they made that loud and clear.
Ha! How interesting. So some Oldz back then had Teh Sane, is what you're saying.
But they've ingested a lot more FOX News since then, so they've fallen in line.
Obviously, only Rep Tom Tancredo can save the Conservative Christian Party. For a Prophet like myself, it is hard to express just how gratifying this is.
I hear Pat Buchanan has some free time.
Draft Buchanan. Buchanan/Ted Stevens '12
Scott Walker's about to have a whole lot more free time, also too.
What, was David Duke unavailable?
this has been a good week.
i am scared.
Good Weeks happen to everyone, now and then. It's just part of life. We can all take heart that nothing lasts forever and life is bound to get bad again, soon. We will get through this. Together.
You promise?
"Always look on the dark side of life…"
Hold me.
well it looks like the world is going to end and all…
That's like the motto of the Democrats forever lol We always see impending doom around the corner…and probably for good reason.
I must not fear.
Fear is the mind-killer.
Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration.
I will face my fear.
I will permit it to pass over me and through me.
And when it has gone past I will turn the inner eye to see its path.
Where the fear has gone there will be nothing.
Only I will remain.
"Don't Panic"
Very succinct.
And your good enough, your smart enough, and people like you.
And your good enough, your smart enough, and gosh darn it, people like you.
Lay off the Spice!
I can see through Time!
My skin is not my own!
So the GOP wants to outsource Mitt Romney… who would have thought?
I know a certain capital management company that could help with that.
I think the mystery Republican Senator was Joe Lieberman.
I think it was Harry Reid.
Your Minute of Zen Politics:
MASTER: What is the sound of one Party crashing?
STUDENT: This, Master.
Alvin Greene's lawyers would like a word with you people.
Alvin Greene no longer vacuums his drapes.
He has given up all his attachments.
Right about then, is where he give up.
He has closed his eyes, he has give up hope.
Take a look at his hands!
The hands of a government man!
He's not a drowning man!
and he's not a burning building!
Drowning cannot hurt a man!
Fire cannot hurt a man!
He's a tumbler!
(Don't you miss it…don't you miss it…some of you people just about missed it!)
Monty Hall: "We've already showed you what's behind door #1 the old crusty gym sock and door #2 the rectangular dildo, so what's it gonna be GOP voter, door #1, door #2 or door #3.?
GOP Contestant: "Monty I'll take Paul Lynde to block."
Lynde: "That's disgusting."
He got all the best zingers on that show.
Host: Why do motorcyclists wear leather?
Lynde: Because chiffon wrinkles so easily!
And people were shocked to find out he was gay!
Mass GOP Suicide
Best news I've heard since January, 2009.\
~
Best news I've heard since
January, 2009.December, 2000.ROMNEY?
Did someone say Romney?
(In case you didn't see it on the Frothy post…) http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ct3BFR6GwFY
Happy Friday!
Damn, that mutt can play the blues.
Repubs >> selves: "We're Desperate."
Everyone else >> Repubs: "Get used to it."
Everyone else [especially X fans] to everyone else about the Repubs:
"Some people give me the creeps!!"
Ha! That was the line that stood out for me too. That and, "My whole fucking life is a wreck."
Having seen them once live on a reunion tour, I will say Billy Zoom's eerie smile (he is purportedly a quasi-fundie-Christian, or once was) does give me the creeps.
So, it's kiss or kill?
*applies flavored lip gloss*
applies flavored lip gloss
as long as it's not Creme deMint? *ducks*
Not DeWine, either.
Desperate. But not serious.
And lest we forget, Bush to Obama when handing over the keys to the country:
"Landlord, Landlord, Landlord clean up the mess."
I have summoned up X lyrics to quote en comment here often enough, for reasons you have again shrewdly demonstrated.
What about Rick Santorum?
“He’d lose 35 states,” the senator said, predicting the same fate for Newt Gingrich.
It would have to be somebody else, the senator said. Who?
“Jeb Bush,” the former Florida governor.
Yeah, that'll work…the guy whose wife tried to smuggle $19K in goods from France and failed, blew through FLA's state surplus by giving tax cuts to the rich, and has a history of unethical crony capitalism?
HAHAHAHAHA!
Ha.
And has the name BUSH!?! No, we don't miss you yet, Bush Crime Family.
If we're super lucky, W will come out and campaign for him.
That would be a sight worth seeing, tho, Raven. If we could just figure out a way to get VAST quantities of rotting fruit and vegetables and shoes past the guards …
You're forgetting that one little problem… B.U.S.H. Oh yeah, and his brother crashed the joint on his way out.
Edit: Oops, rave beat me by a minute.
's cool.
He's not only George's brother, he's also Marvin's brother, you know, director of security for the world trade center, and Neal's, who was involved with him in that whole Silverado scandal years back and son of Barbara "these people have never had it better." The American Borgias.
If the Borgias were all suffering from HBIS*
* Hookworm Brain Infestation Syndrome
Also, I'm pretty sure Lucretia never put a fetus in a jar.
I wish some peculiar infestation would wipe out the entire family and anyone else who shares the "mean motherfucker" gene with them.
They are all, every last one of them, pricks — including Babs — no, *especially* Babs.
I have a bit of a soft spot for old G.H.W., I don't know why. Must be that hapless, bumbling air of his. I ought to know better, the dick was in charge of the CIA at its worst. But then again, he's married to such a fucking harpy and has fathered such a foul brood from her loins, I guess one does feel a certain sympathy.
You forgot to add "whose brother has made the family name lower than mud for the past 8 years out of 12."
He's an excellent driver.
"Dad lets me drive slow on the Beltway every Saturday."
Yeah…definitely time for Frothner.
Shit, and I had him pegged as a #3 Iron.
*Slave* driver.
I assume the unnamed Senator was Palpatine.
I've narrowed it down to either Cassius or Brutus.
Almost exactly 4 years ago, Sen Ensign, then chair of the NRSC endorsed McCain for President. Skip ahead four years, and the current NRSC chair, Sen Cornyn has not endorsed anybody. And let me point out, the NRSC endorsed Crist for the FL Senate two years ago, you think they'd be backing the 'establishment' candidate by now. So, I reckon Cornyn's the source.
One problem with your analysis. Cronyn is from Texas, and he makes Perry look like a Rhodes scholar or the editor of the Harvard Law Review.
The proper height for trees is a conversation best saved for Quiet Rooms.
So much win.
Yes. Laughed out loud. You guys were getting so serioso and, like, philosophical. Especially for a Friday night.
'Ats wut 'appens after you've drownted the fourth Fifth.
Let this be Willard Romney's epitaph ad infinitum, Amen.
"The trees are the right height," says Mitt Romney. For what – an alien invasion? Guy certainly acts likes he's from another planet.
He's been sent to the blue planet to measure things.
Like curtains, for the office?
Like the maximum bowel and bladder tolerances of Irish Setters.
lol! And the subsequent outrage of humankind.
In all fairness, his people were convinced that Irish Setters were members of the ruling species, given how the monkey-slaves interacted with them.
Curtains? That's an Interossiter.
Interocitor according to wikipedia.
We look for things. Things that make us go!
We want to be nothing if not persistent.
Mitt is smart!
And who can blame Geordie LaForge for falling into their trap?
There is a mothership somewhere and Mitt is an Avatar. Poor fellow at the other end.
"Something's wrong with this interface! I keep coming off like a badly programmed robot from the 1950s, dammit! Tech Support!"
I'm sorry, man, we're closing the bug reports as fast as we get them, but this whole system's nothin' but spaghetti code! If y'all had any smarts at all, you'd rebuild the whole thing from the ground up. We gave you a rollout date of 2016, but no, you had to go all Beta on the customers, and now you want US to fix the fuckin' buggy thing.
Face it, they are going to dig up the mouldering corpse of Ronald Reagan before it's over.
Alright, you asked for it. I'm sure everyone's seen this enough, but it has to be presented EVERY TIME "running Reagan's corpse" is invoked.
It won't work. Zombie Reagan is a RINO.
Reagan In Name Only?
Recalcitrant Idiot Number One?
Republican Incompetent, Never Outdone?
Hell, Zombie Reagan would be to the left of Mitt Romney, even before Willard went all fire-breathing crazy.
The schaden freudes itself, (again).
This is
goodnews from John McCain.Ha!
Could Lieberman be the mystery senator, moving to annoy GOPers as much as he does Dems?
KBJ is the alt text about the Mormon Moon God being on acid or we Wonketteers? Or maybe the Rethug electorate? Or maybe the FBI? Or maybe Mittens and Frothy? Or maybe…"say goodnight Gracie"
G'night, Gracie.
Say goodnight, Dick.
Stop calling me names, dood.
WAKE UP, SHEEPLE!
Wonkette and xkcd, where the alt-text always shines. ARE YOU LISTENING NEWELL?
Jeb!
Bartlet?
Paula Poundstone – "Last week Jeb Bush legally changed his name to 'Jeb Jesus Reagan Lincoln'"
They always take credit for Lincoln, but they don't really like him. See also Teddy Roosevelt, MLK.
For a Republican, it feels like it needs a "the third" tacked onto the end. But that would imply Bush. Decisions decisions.
Je ^^R^^ b.
FIFY, NNTT
"Why, this is a bag of SHIT!"
Everyone hopes for the electric anal probing, but at least with the bag of poop they're not going home empty-handed.
It's really good shit.
And really expensive shit.
And flaming, also too.
FST reference FTW!
"But it's *really good shit*, Mrs. Presskey!"
The same could be said of virtually ANY Republican, these days.
Now which would you rather do, hit this Jew over the head with a bag o'sugar, or beat out that rhythm on the drum?
Our next Happy Birthday g-g-gumdropper is little Sally Chink, uh, Ching. She's turning 12 today. Happy Birthday, Sally! You're gonna start menstruating soon!
What is wrong with the establishment GOP? They are stealing elections SO POORLY THESE DAYS – What kind of world is this that Karl Rove can't fix a frigging primary? They have gotten popped for cheating in Iowa and Maine, and actually had to suck it in Colorado…I mean WHAT?? I don't know what day it is anymore. I wish I had a guess for this source. I would like to point and laugh at them J-New style.
they can only steal elections from democrats, duh.
What I really love is the mud (or mud-like brown schmutz) that Rmoney is getting splattered with. Nothing like the perception that the GOP grand poobahs rigged Maine, to get the voters in the next primary riled up and pissed off, and in a steaming "fuck Mitt" mood.
That wasn't mud, it was "santorum".
O_o
Who are you?
Where are you posting from?
How did you know I used to have a cat named Mango?
Wow, I said something about how the curse of the Dems seems to have infected the Pubs, and the admin script ate it faster than User-of-Owls on the hunt for a hapless marmot.
Oh great, now I won't sleep tonight!
I told you to be careful around that guy.
Srsly, though? I think you might have sufficient avoirdupois to deter the swift-flying User.
"Mr. Cheney! Mr. Cheney! and is this the upshot of your experiment!"
-Hawthorne
And then there's Rick Santorum, in "Young Goodman Browneye."
"Hmm, who's left? Got it! Ted Nugent/Dave Mustaine 2012?"
Alice Cooper. He's got a campaign theme song ready.
Well, you just ruined *their* electoral hopes by calling them "left."
Let's see:
US Senator,
Believes that someone new will be needed to get the nomination.
That new person would have to have experience on the National Stage
That new person would have to be able to put together a campaign quick.
That new person would have to have ties to fundraisers.
Let's say it all together: It is a good day for John McCain!
Oh great, we get to see McCain panting after Obama's ass again http://alturl.com/f7zbc
That picture is a thing of beauty and a joy forever.
ahhaha barry looks so all around dark, like he's been in the sun enjoying himself and not going gray.
Young and carefree. He's still looking good enough for Chinese ladies to indulge in a little grabass, though.
Poor man! He works harder than most people I've ever known (and in my industry, working round the clock was the norm, always). I look forward to the day when he can take a little time off, relax with the wife and kids, hang out on a beach in Hawai'i.
My submission for the caption contest:
"Jesus, Barry! WARN me when you're about to cut one!"
LOL! Srsly, though, McCain has got to be on some kinda weird drugs. That is the most bizarre expression I have ever seen on a politician ON STAGE BEFORE THE NATIONAL MEDIA.
Of course, this is just a challenge to go find y'all's favourite goofy dumbshit pol pictures.
"Mctongue"? Is that jpg honestly ferreal named McTongue?
When I first showed it to a friend on teh Intertubes he was convinced it was Photoshopped. Then it hit the newspapers.
Turning away from the mike, Romney chuckled quietly to himself, "That should throw them off the track…they won't even think to ask about the truly important matter–the ideal width for the trees! Oh, yes, my friends, I am once again seven steps ahead of them…"
if you don't turn that into a short story or screenplay i'm stealing it.
May as well–now that I think about it, it's clear to me that I was simply riffing on Steven Wright anyway ("A lot of people are afraid of heights. Not me, I'm afraid of widths.")
Do you ever suffer when the brain cheese really gets going? This is a no-snark question, btb.
It's not the brain cheese that gets ya, it's the lung butter.
FBI Special Agent Dale Cooper: Sheriff, what kind of fantastic trees have you got growing around here? Big, majestic.
Sheriff Harry S. Truman: Douglas firs.
FBI Special Agent Dale Cooper: [Marveling] Douglas firs…
——————————————————————————–
Since Mitt can't comment on the coffee, he has to focus on the trees.
I've got good news! That gum you like is going to come back in style!
?ehs t'nseod ,arauL ekil tsuj skool ehS
How does this affect the Log Lady?
The RINOs are not what they seem.
Until his identity is revealed, shall we just call this senator "Deep Throat"?
Well, maybe "Derp Throat."
Ham Biscuits?
Can we start a stealth rumor in Republican circles that Miss Lindsay is the candidate we fear most?
That's a cracking idea!
heads to Free Republic
Better you than me. I'm not exactly fragile, but the freepers… *shudder.
You're a better man than I am, G … er, Fukui_san.
Oh, that's cruel.
Not that I think the boys will *let* him play, but if they do, he is dead. He's gonna be busted wide open. He's not like Barney Frank who never had to worry about the sweet little old ladies in *his* district giving a shit if he was gay.
So, this is all they get for spending 50 years appealing to people's worst instincts? Poor bastards.
well that and this stupid t-shirt.
One guy is an I, Robot.
The other is the Taliban Mullah Santorun
Whats there to be happy and giggly about.
Then you have Barry on tour at manufacturing plants, singing in public in a soul train voice , giving black brothers a bro-hug. Man that is way too much for the White Male Southern Party Of Religious Fanatics Against All Women.
I think Will Smith is a lot more charismatic than Mittens.
Fist-bumping the Latino janitor, hugging the old Chinese lady, loving his wife visibly with the heat of a thousand suns, a good Daddy to his little girls, what a bod, smart as a whip, a total fucking hit with the "white-baby" demographic (shit, if the little fuckers could vote, he'd already be Prez), holding his own with all kinds furrners — the optic is all in his favour and against theirs. Srsly, he couldn't have done better if he hand-picked these dumbshits himself.
(Looks around nervously) Christ, I hope those fucking conspiracy-freak doofi don't find this and start trying to convince people that Barry hand-picked the Republican contenders.
The rebranding will begin forthwith as soon as the convention is over. The slate of stupid will be wiped clean away. The press is still as pathetically compliant and centralized as ever.
That's why watching these deep pockets draw this out longer is so hilarious.
No shit, the press is as compliant a pack of lapdogs as ever I've seen.
I'm gonna guess the mystery senator is Marco Rubio. Or maybe John Cornyn.
Donald Trump isn't a Senator anymore, right?
That's because the explanation–the dirty truth of Michigan's "just the right height" trees–is a harrowing tale.
The trees that grow too big for their branches are chopped down to size and are forced to live the remainder of their days, pruned and maimed, on display in a glade in a forest or arboretum. They serve as reminder for all other trees to see what happens when one's dreams reach ever skyward.
And what of the runts? "Stumpies," as Michigan natives call them, are uprooted and shipped out of state, forced to work in toothpick factory labor camps in the bowels of Wisconsin–their leaves never to fall upon the floors of Michigan forests again.
You can learn about these atrocities, the secret squirrel police, and more in the LINK TV documentary Insidious Deciduous.
Wasn't "Insidious Deciduous" one of the lesser Jedi masters?
No, he was a Sith. Definitely on the Dark Side of the Forest.
*ducks*
You're both wrong. He's actually being considered as Santorum's running mate. On the plus side, he has broad appeal to the largely untapped constituency that reproduces asexually, which is very attractive to the base.
Deciduous probably has too much baggage to get the nod though. Especially damaging is his stint as the frontman for the coding language/perennial woody rock band, Perl Arbor back in the early days of planksta rap.
Too bad he shunned his roots when that experiment as the Ape-ical Merrystems just left his audience bored.
Perl Arbor back in the early days of planksta rap.
Colonel Owls, I don't know whether to worship you or terminate your command.
So you'd say he's pining for simpler times?
I love you, User of Owls. This comment hit just the right spot with me. Full of winning.
Yeah. Total fucking WIN.
There are no leaves on the Dark Side.
Not many ducks, either. Ducks need leaves to eat.
comments like this keep me coming back here.
This must be what people with coordination feel like when they're volleying a tennis ball back and forth.
And it's comments like this that assuage my fears that my long-winded silliness is merely onanistic. Humbly, thanks.
(Hugs the Cap'n) Call me if you need further reinforcement, dear. Your snarkiness is so sublime that I sometimes fear to read you, saving the precious comments for savouring last, like that perfect curl of bacon atop a tasty stew.
Oh, you name-changing, shape-shifting oasis of snark. You are the first to raise a fist to the enemy and open you arms to an ally. I tip my virtual Capn's cap to you.
It's a total assuage party in here.
I hear Julian Assuage will appear in the 500th episode of the Simpsons.
it took me two days to find this comment, but!
i wish we had more such flights of the absurd. this is my favorite kind of snark.
Plus, research has shown that it lowers Prommie's triglyceride levels!
There is unrest in the forest…
Say it Ent so! (also, your link was borked, but it was clearly to this or something like it)
Linky no worky for me, Bonz.
You sure it's not bungle in the jungle?
The fault may lie with the Republican Parties strategy of focusing on gullible idiots as their target demographic. Now that very same group of light switch lickers are in charge of picking the parties standard bearer. As a wise man once said you never go full retard.
Just wait for the convention. Sarah is going to make a play for the Schwing Voters.
She can see Kristol's Boner from her house.
no way…you can't see Kristol's boner from his lap.
She's been making a play for that vote since she ran for stray cat wrangler of Wasilla.
How is it that certain commenters can just cold bring the r-word? Moderator's pet, much?
You're allowed to say "retard"; you're just not allowed to say the name of a particular campaign prop who rhymes with "fig".
Not me. I was quoting a certain pint-sized, nine-and-a-half-fingered former Chief of Staff, and BAM! Deleted by moderator. Or Administrator, I forget which.
Hey, I was simply making an impassioned statement about how the erstwhile curse of the Democrats (i.e., the ability to completely bung up beyond repair anything to do with victory) appeared to have landed on the Pugs, when, POW! Right in the kisser!
You can use the the noun "retard" freely. It's the adjective "re†arded" that the cybercensor doesn't like.
At least, that's what happens to my posts. They could indeed alter the rules depending on who's posting … user-of-owls seems to have a dispensation to use the r-word in all its forms.
For the rest of us, the v|agr@ spammer technique is a good workaround.
The fault, dear Brutus, lies
not in our stars, but in ourselves
or so one imagines the Repuglybags whining, of a weekend.
Unlikely, because:
1. Too innerleckchurl for them,
2. They don't think anything is their fault;
HAH! "Churl" is certainly right, I mean, correct.
Will that electrified anal probe clean out Santorum?
Peoples Temple 1978
Branch Davidians 1993
Heaven's Gate 1997
Republican Party 2012
OK, I can see the resemblance.
According to the RNC's offical schedule of events for the national convention, after the candidate is named, the Dance of Zalongo will be performed in celebration.
That sounds almost like the puputan of the Balinese rulers when the Dutch (fuckers!) tried to take that island.
Romney to tree: "You`re the same height as my wife."
Now do you want the job or not?
Romney to tree: "You give me wood."
Tree: "You sap."
What are the chances it might be Governor Virginia Vagprobe?
Repeat that slowly. Several times. I'm experiencing cardiac arrhythmia.
Virginia Vagprobe. Virginia Vagprobe. Virginia Vagprobe.
Hope you're not looking in a mirror. You are?
Aiee! He's behind you
I think I knew a performer who used that stage name.
Couldn't remember Mcdonnell's name, so I went with a handy mnemonic. Do you think it fits?
Oh…are there photos?
I can't decide whether the time has come to just off myself and, you know, not have to deal with this shit anymore. Mass GOP suicide? It's time for the entire human species to fling itself off the nearest cliff like the lemmings were supposed to have.
Oh, don't you even think about it. Where there's life there's Hope and don't you forget it.
WE, in general and I in particular have lost far too many Good People to blithely let another one go. We will need every one we have, and then some to right the terrible wrongs and mitigate the damage of the last few years.
Also, You are not alone. Believe that.
If I ever – ever – find out that you're seriously entertaining the Notion of Offing Yourself, I will find you. In Real Space. And Kick Your Ass.
Take that to the bank.
Sincerely, CRE.
"can't decide whether the time has come to just off myself and, you know, not have to deal with this shit anymore."
And let them win?
Hell no.
Fuck no.
I'm not goin' anywhere.
I love how Ron Paul is still in the race, and he's not even on their radars as an alternative. He's as conservative as hell: racist as fuck, wants to drown the government in a bathtub…but, he can't be considered because he doesn't care about who ya' fuck, what ya' smoke, and doesn't worship at the feet of Mars.
So, yeah, fuck the GOP.
Mostly, they're afraid he might actually turn off the spigots of endless sweet, sweet graft.
I think they're overestimating him.
I do to. The office has a way of constraining it inhabitant, no matter who it is, but lord if they aren't even going to test a candidate like Paul, again. Goldwater left a horrible taste in their collective mouth.
My fervent hope is that they lose this November by a wider margin than they did with Goldwater. It wouldn't even be a 'what if' if our fawning corporate media wasn't so spectacularly incompetent.
The shit the GOP has pulled in the last three years, not to mention the two term catastrophe of Bush/Cheney, should have been enough to turn them into a vestigial party that garners fewer votes than the Greens.
From your lips to the operculae of any Elder God willing to intervene and capable of working precisely that effect. Ia, Ia, Ia! Shub-Niggurath, The Goat With A Thousand Young!
In all the polls I've seen since that straw poll I keep yelling about from like 6 months ago, Ron Paul comes in second. Cain, Newt and now Santorum have all been in first, but Paul has kept the same solid second spot the whole time. Then Mitt with like 12% – 18% typically. And it's about deeeelegaaates (said in that weirdly gravely old man but yet PeterBrady in puberty voice.) Doc Paul's gonna get some here. He's completely acceptable to a lot of the guys and younger girls here. Guns weed and whores – all popular amongst the shit-kicking set. I like how he's making his supporters HATE Santorum and Romney, especially with that shit they pulled in Maine. I don't know WHY he's running, but I'm loving it.
It seems to me that he's fading in the national polls as of late, but with always just enough support that he shouldn't be ignored at least to the degree that he is. I am thinking about voting for him in the primary just to fuck things up (he'll actually be speaking at Michigan State in a few days in their large auditorium), but don't want my name and address sold to Republicans who will spam me through the mail with their bullshit.
It's fun getting on the R mailing list. Everything they mail you uses up precious money. All Ds should do it!
And they say such revealing things when they think they're jes' talkin' amongst themselves.
I don't have any particularly high (Oh! I made a pun!) opinion of Ron Paul, but he doesn't strike me as any crazier or more repulsive than the guys who are actually running — Newt, Mitt, and Frothy.
Have you not seen his newsletters and heard him speak for, oh, more than five minutes?
I freely admit that I have not.
I get the impression that he's a hateful, loony crank.
So is Santorum, and yet not only is he being taken seriously, he's the front runner, last I heard.
I think he speaks ok. If he just doesn't talk about "auditing the Fed" he sounds quite reasonable in most things. The newsletter is a different issue…
“The trees are just the right height,”
Guy here in NJ; motto "The Sopranos State", hired a guy to cut down 221 trees on his neighbors unoccupied property which, incidentally, were blocking the view down the hill to a state wilderness area (a view which is quite spectacular). At first it seems he told town officials that the trees were making it difficult to go out the back of his property to walk his dog in the state park. Then, after being arrested on a criminal complaint filed by the property owner, he told the municipal court that he was not home and the guy he hired made a mistake when the neighbors trees were cut down.
Hey, Paulie! That ona youse bullets whitch mistakenly landed indat guy's head?
I still think that they should have changed out the State Motto from
"New Jersey and you, Perfect Together!" to
"New Jersey! Yougoddaproblemwiddat?"
Missed opportunity.
Reed Gusciora, a proudly gay NJ Legislator who is one of the original sponsors of the Equality of Marriage Act, passed yesterday and vetoed by Chris Crisco today, used “The Sopranos State” on the news today. I probably won’t get a chance to see him soon as most of the state politics are now in hibernation until 2013, but he used it at a gathering I was at last year.Gusciora criticized Chris Crisco over his call to put gay marriage on a referendum with the now widely accepted premise that states should not put civil rights issues on the ballot. Chrisco responded by calling him “Numb Nutts” which didn’t stand up very well to allegations that the insult was directed to Gusciora’s sexual orientation. Chrisco said “We used that term all the time when I was on the school yard.”We have governor who is proud he has the social graces and the tolerance of a homophobic, abusive, self centered, ten year old.
"We have governor who is proud he has the social graces and the tolerance of a homophobic, abusive, self centered, ten year old."
AKA the GOP Messiah.
"That's Republican party Vice Presidential nominee Crisco to youse!"
I know a guy who had gone up against him in court when he was the US Att'y (he won). His comment: "Christie's not the sharpest tool in the shed." Charitable analysis, that.
I think you mentioned a book, Weird NJ. I found the book’s authors have a web site which is a blast. I’m going to order the book. I hope to get it in time for meeting I’ll be attending at the end of the month where Menendez, Lautenberg, Pallone and Holt will be. I want to get their signatures on a copy.
Oh, you should For Sure order the book and get it shipped "Priority" to get those sigs on it! You'll love Weird, NJ too, I knew about a lot of the Weird but there's a whole lot more Weirdness there to be amazed at.
Mark & Mark have a YouTube Channel too. Enjoy the Weird.
Yeah, sure, if you don't mind getting packages labeled "book," and the sorrows that come with them.
"they should have changed out the State Motto from
"New Jersey and you, Perfect Together!" to
"New Jersey! Yougoddaproblemwiddat?"
"New Jersey: 'the fuck YOU lookin' at?"
"Nice trees ya got there…
Be a shame if anything HAPPENED to them."
'Zactly.
I've never, at least to my knowledge, seen a Morman Moon god, even on Purple Double Dome. I have, however seen a herd of Neon Elk (TM). Good times.
I've been to Paradise, but I've never been to me.
Well, while it's cold and lonely in the deep dark night (deep dark night), I can see paradi-ise by the dashboard lights.
I would do anything for love, but I won't do that.
Things Meatloaf would do for love:
a. Anything
b. That
c. A only
d. B only
e. All of the above
f. None of the above
Well, I've never been to heaven
But I've been to Oklahoma.
Weren't you born there?
I really don't remember.
In Oklahoma
Or Arizona
What does it matter?
True story: I once watched an interview with the guy who wrote that song (Hoyt Axton, I think his name was). He was a big fat good ol' boy with a thick southern accent, wearing a cowboy hat. He said that Three Dog Night originally objected to the line, "I've never been to England, but I kinda like the Beatles". Axton's response to that, and you have to imagine it spoken in a thick redneck accent, was:
"PHHHAWW HAW HAW!! You guys thank y'all are competition for the Beatles???"
<snicker>
You know, if Three Dog Night really wanted to be more like the Beatles, they could have gotten off their asses and written some songs, instead of sitting around waiting for Hoyt Axton to do it for them.
I thought I was in heaven, once.
Turned out to be the parking lot of an invisible 7-11.
Amazingly enough, this has happened to others.
Either you've been hittin' the sauce early, or I've been hittin' the vape too hard.
Because I SO did NOT understand that at all. (Be kind to me, Biely. I'm a iggerant furrnurr.)
I didn't get it either, but I love it. I'd steal it, but I don't know yet what for.
Neon Elk (TM) sounds absolutely kick ass. The best I've done is hear an entire flock of sheep saying "Dave!" repeatedly.
Oh, and being with my friend when wandering around Portsmouth and being asked directions from a girl who was obviously French.
friend: "Parlez-vous francais?"
girl (obviously overjoyed at meeting someone who spoke french): "Ah, oui, oui!! Ou est .." whatever the fuck it was
friend (pointing to self, looking self-satisfied): "Je suis … un croissant"
Voila le stylo de ma tante!
EDIT: Mr. Speaker, I've thought this over very carefully, and would ask unanimous consent to revise and extend my remarks:
Michel, Anne, vous travaillez? Euh, non, nous regardons la television.
Ich bein ein berliner.
STOP CHANNELLING MEEEEEE!
Because it's all about me, don'tcha know. (offers head to be nooged.)
Sarah?
Ich bin ein Berliner?
I've never seen a Mormon Moon-god
I never hope to see one
But I can tell you, you stupid clod*,
I'd rather see than be one.
*(not you, you're not a stupid clod)
So Romney is all like, "I hate Michigan and I hate poor people. I really hate all those people that make cars because they have destroyed America. Remember I wanted those people and their families to live under a bridge. They are worthless scum. Did I mention that I hate you? Well I do. Vote for me, Mitt Romney!"
So I'm like thinking, real good job Mitt, you just gave your home State to Santorum. What in the heck were you thinking when you said those awful things?
Now here comes Santorum, "I just want the people of Michigan to know that I hate you more than Romney hates you! Thank you. Vote for me, Rick Santorum!"
Do any of these guys really want to win?
They may want to win, in a fuzzy, dreamy fantasy-like way, but they don't dare go up against the Sekrit Muslin Kenyan Mau Mau Telepromptr Apologizing Anti-Colonialist Antichrist that they were so sure everybody hated so much.
Coming out of the bubble is painful,people!
So Republicans are terrified of a blah man, why am I not surprised. On second thought, this explains much that I had not understood before, carry on.
Not nearly painful enough for my taste.
I can fix that for ya.
At this point, the Sekrit Muslin Kenyan Mau Mau Telepromptr Apologizing Anti-Colonialist Antichrist is probably looking pretty good to Michigan voters.
What a world, eh?
Srsly. I could not have predicted this a year ago, I don't think.
This is just about the best description of the local race I've seen. Rick didn't just come out against the auto bailout, but all bailouts. I guess that if they are looking for abuse, they'll go to the guy they can count on to fully dole it out, indiscriminately.
They really are sick.
We'd be in much better shape today if the banks had collapsed and the car companies had gone belly-up and we'd had a proper Depression. I'm not saying we wouldn't have gotten our hair mussed…
No more than 10 – 20 million homeless, tops. Depending on the breaks.
Or dead. Also, too.
"Do any of these guys really want to win?"
And have to actually *do* something?
Let the blah guy clean up the mess their predecessors made; that's what Those People are for.
Hi Tessie, Mango here . . . : )
All of a sudden I get it, the Republican jokers aren't candidates . . . by god, they're just trolls! Now it all makes sense, the mindlessness, the inhumanity, the lack of coherence, the pathetic loser-ness.
No. Not as such.
C'mon, things are *still* a mess, they'd have to be crazy to want to win, because then *they'd* have to do the hard work of fixing stuff! Let the BLAH guy do that, then they can come in and take the credit.
And not a single fuck was given that day.
That's cool.
Needs to be 'shopped into a milkshake.
The Demo primary contest was at almost the same state a few weeks before Super Tuesday in 2008. Except Obama wasn't a maladroit with no ability to have any opinion other than what his handlers tell him are needed to win the next election as is Romney and the combined intelligence and compassion quotient of Gingrich and Santorum is smaller than Hilary's shoe size.
Yes – in that case the Democrats were torn between two exceptional candidates that virtually everyone (PUMAs aside) would be happy with. Today the Republicans have i) a spoiled rich kid who only knows working people from having seen exhibits in museums, attacks the UAW in Michigan (actually doesn't even bother to attack them – just sneers "union bosses" as if everyone will immediately agree without prompting that he is speaking of caricature villains worse than Richard III) and now represents his tenure in Massachusetts as nothing but fighting tooth and nail to prevent it from being as Massachusetts-y as the voters in Massachusetts wanted. b) An anti-birth control, slut-shaming Catholic to the right of Ratzinger who delights the witch-burning crowd and terrifies everyone else. c) A thrice married pompous bullshit artist failed academic who wants to colonize the moon.
Hump? What hump? (Spins around.) I don’t see any hump.
"a spoiled rich kid who only knows working people from having seen exhibits in museums, attacks the UAW in Michigan (actually doesn't even bother to attack them – just sneers "union bosses" as if everyone will immediately agree without prompting that he is speaking of caricature villains worse than Richard III)"
YEAH!
*pumps fist*
*waves tiny pennant labled "Chichi"*
Off topic and something you already know, but in a cool format.
Where the Government money goes.
"Honey, Rush just said that people that are getting money from the Government are destroying America. Didn't we get money from the Government to grow Corn instead of Soybeans?" "Yes, but we don't count. They're talking about Liberals. Not us!"
http://www.nytimes.com/interactive/2012/02/12/us/...
Eastern Kentucky, both in 1999 and 2009– such a gov. money hog. What is it exactly with them? That's the real standout here. Also, the non-money taking of the Amtrak corridor.
"They're talking about the Blah people…"
Some farmers are the worst (I'm in rural Iowa). They'll complain about #WelfareQueens while collecting insanely large Corporate Welfare checks. And even the subsidies that aren't crop related, I personally know someone who gets $10,000 per year for 5 years to save their equipment's changed oil in a drum (less than 1 drum per year) and have it picked up by some lab. No wonder a moron like Grassley keeps getting reelected; there truly are welfare queens.
Damn, I'm in the wrong line of grift!
What a lovely picture of the Bible Belt.
"Honey, Mitt Romney just said that all people getting money from the government should be drug tested." Do we not count for that, too?
The people who get the *most* money from the government should get tested FIRST. Senators? Congresscritters? The line forms on the RIGHT.
I wanna say it's John Cornyn. He's probably still The Bitterz about being hung out to dry on the whole PIPA thing.
OT: But I love this.
I like that, but I would change the Hitler one to a terrorist.
I would also accept: Abortionist.
I like how libertarian sees just a criminal who steals from the wealthy and redistributes, but the tea partier sees one of the worst murderers in history. Escalation!
Also acceptable (per recent EU events): The Greek-est person you can think of. Maybe this guy, or this guy?
Uhh, Soros is a Joo. Born in Hungary.
Sorry, I'm firing the research dept.
"The trees are just the right height." What, is Mitt expecting an attack by glider borne troops?
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rommelspargel
…Or so the Germans would have us believe.
Time to flood the bocages !
Too soon?
What have you got against Bo?
Did somebody say "The schaden freudes itself, (again)?"
~
Oh, for fuck's sake (insert photo of facepalming Picard here)
DD free/ prefer messicans w/o papers.
Str8 acting…isn't that code for republican?
Many of them are less convincing str8 actors than they think they are.
Pretty fucking much. Like they're fooling anyone in their button-down pinstripes.
I shouldn't be surprised, but I am.
But, you have got to be kidding me:
This stuff is TWISTED. There is so much selling out in all of this and on so many different fields, I'm not even sure who bought what.
Sex, bi-partisan collusion, influence-peddling and threats, an illegal, gay, Mexican ex-lover? Are you shitting me? You honestly can't make this shit up.
You surprise me, my dear. There's multiple scandals like this one, all well-covered-up, of course, but common knowledge among political junkies. There's a young Southern politician, redhaired, R, whose name escapes me right now, who's involved in something about a hundred times sleazier involving a rentboy ring patronized by various politicians, which ended up with three people being murdered in Florida, I bleev, all of whom had ties to this fellow. Wish I could remember his name. But, yeah, this is pretty much par for the course. Wait till the hoi polloi find out, if ever.
Patrick McHenry is the closet case with the murder-suicide case in his rear view mirror.
Thank goodness, our fawning corporate media is
noton the case.Muhduh?! Suicide?! Do tell.
BTW, I'm not a big follower of "Out the Gay Republican" game; I just take notice of it when it happens, so if people are wondering why I didn't know about Babeau, that's why. Well, that, and I only guess the gay GOP politicians when they are obviously flamboyant and/or their entire political campaign is tailored around gay-bashing. Babeau set off neither of those alarms for me.
Yep, and he was the one who was a complete and total dick to liberal sweetheart Elizabeth Warren. As soon as I realized he was a NC representative, I knew Charlotte's Bank of America headquarters had something to do with it. BofA's lobby has their puppeteering hand shoulder-deep in this guy's rectum to make sure he says just what he's supposed to (So lifelike!)
That's the weaselly little bastid. Gadz, I hate his smug little face, I'd love to push it in. Sorry. Calm, calm, calm. I really do dislike the fellow, he's despicable.
For those who don't know, Pinal County is just south of Sheriff Joe R. Piehole's Maricopa County (Phoenix, Scottsdale, birthplace of the John Birch Society et al). Pinalians' politics make their Maricopa brethren's antics look like a Greenpeace/Jackson Browne charity fundraiser.
Great. Now we've fucked up Arizona so badly that we won't even be able to give it back to Mexico. I wonder whether Somalia might be interested?
We do have the London Bridge, now spanning the Colorado River at Lake Havasu, plus that lake, Lake Mead, Lake Powell and a dozen other big dammed lakes to make the pirates feel at home. Could be interesting.
Puntland, Pinal County. Hey, it does sound fun!
Question, was Babeau as out as he kind of implies to be in that article? If you'd have told me that Arpaio would have gotten caught in something like this, I'd have not been surprised. All I remember Babeau as from the national news is this affable guy, but one stuck in the culture of the state. I just chalked it up to what has become typical Afrizona Weirdness, but this is even weirder than I'd imagined.
Ah yes, the famous West Coast of Arizona.
Are we sure that Cronenberg isn't involved?
Not only that, but Sheriff Babeu was the doofus with Walnuts! in this ad. I get an inappropriate tingle knowing that.
Somehow the idea of Opus inspecting his underroos while tingling inappropriately is what I'm taking into my dreams tonight.
Arpiao's Adam4Adam's login name is "GrumpyNuts"
He coulda left the nuts out, yaknow. It's not like anyone would notice.
It's a trifecta of Republicanism!
Working on a presidential campaign, Abuse of power, and the gold standard, in the closet.
Meanwhile, in Tennessee, Fred Thompson watches and waits.
Ph'nglui mglw'nafh Fr'edThompson T'nesseh wgah'nagl fhtagn?
Aaaaannnd…he fell asleep.
Zzzzzzzz. Who?
Remember 3 years ago when the Republican party lay in ruins after the well-deserved thrashing induced by not just the catastrophic Bush years but the 8 years of cult-like worship from Republicans everywhere – calling anyone who opposed Bush on anything a traitor, putting soldiers lives in danger, etc.
So the great cynical rebranding begins: no, Bush wasn't a real conservative. Indeed, revive the label that Bush himself dropped the instant the Supreme Court handed him the presidency: Bush was a "Compassionate Conservative" not a real one. So the way to regain power was to be more conservative than Bush. And with some cynical demagoguing on the same Medicare that they turned around and took aim at, and the repeated mantra of "jobs, jobs, jobs" that was then completely dropped in favor (except for lip service in preposterous bill names of the "Repeal the Job-Killing blah blah Act" pattern) the strategy seemed to work incredibly well in 2010.
But here we are. I guess smoke and mirrors can only disguise for so long the fact that the party has completely handed the tiller over to lunatics.
"…the repeated mantra of "jobs, jobs, jobs" that was then completely dropped in favor" of: "Women – Barefoot, Pregnant, and Fixing Me a Sammich Act" iterations 1 thru 10,000.
I was researching misogyny in Catholic history today, and came upon this quote from 'St,' Clement of Alexandria: "Women should also fetch from the pantry things that we need."
Plus ça change…
Amusing quote from St. Clement… I'll file that one away for repeated future use. Thanks.
Yes, there's a lot of misogyny there to study. Just sticking to Alexandria, things clearly didn't get better in the subsequent years, as witness the horrifying mob murder of one of the greatest scholars and mathematicians of late antiquity, Hypatia. (AD 350?370? –March 415)
But according to the good churchmen, the bitch was asking for it. Take it away John of Nikiû (7th century):
And, in those days, there appeared in Alexandria a female philosopher, a pagan named Hypatia, and she was devoted at all times to magic, astrolabes, and instruments of music, and she beguiled many people through Satanic wiles . . . A multitude of believers in God arose under the guidance of Peter the Magistrate . . . and they proceeded to seek for the pagan woman who had beguiled the people of the city and the Prefect through her enchantments. And when they learnt the place where she was, they proceeded to her and found her . . . they dragged her along till they brought her to the great church, named Caesareum. Now this was in the days of the fast. And they tore off her clothing and dragged her . . . through the streets of the city till she died. And they carried her to a place named Cinaron, and they burned her body with fire.
[And this is the less shocking one. According to the ecclesiastical historian Socrates Scholasticus, she was flayed alive with shards of pottery]
Yes, everyone knows that mathematics, astronomy, and philosophy = witchcraft, when they are practiced without a penis.
I read that she was slashed to death with oyster shells. I guess when you form a mob to kill an uppity bitch, you just have to tell the story over and over. Good times!
I'm out to eat a steak and drink some cosmos. I may be back tonight, but my typing could prove… erratic.
Hey – have a rockin' great time. I'm getting that foggy-headed feeling that tells me it's time to go to sleep. I'll check tomorrow morning just in case there are entertaining rambles from your return.
I've heard the oyster shells version too; I gather they were used as tiles in the Church. There are a bunch of different variations on the details – the chroniclers were writing 2-300 years after the actual events, and historians back then were generally both sloppy by contemporary standards and restricted in the resources available to them. So there's a lot of noise in the channel. Though everyone I know of agrees on the basics: Non-Christian, Great scholar and astronomer/mathematican/philosopher/etc. (There's independent verification of this). Also politically influential with Orestes, the Roman prefect/guy in charge/boss/head man/top dog/big cheese/head honcho/number one in Alexandria in ways that often led to the Christian faction not getting everything they wanted in matters of secular administration. Mob associated with top Christian (some unclarity as to who it was – propagandists like the guy quoted above say it was this lower tier functionary "Peter the Magistrate", the less Fox-newsish sources say it was the archbishop "Saint" Cyril himself to arranged it. So the principle of plausible deniability was operative even then, it appears.) Naturally every one of the pervs include the salacious detail that she was humiliated by being stripped naked before being dragged through the city.
etc.
Here's what Socrates Scholasticus, writing at less of a time distance, says about the events:
There was a woman at Alexandria named Hypatia, daughter of the philosopher Theon, who made such attainments in literature and science, as to far surpass all the philosophers of her own time. Having succeeded to the school of Plato and Plotinus, she explained the principles of philosophy to her auditors, many of whom came from a distance to receive her instructions. On account of the self-possession and ease of manner, which she had acquired in consequence of the cultivation of her mind, she not infrequently appeared in public in presence of the magistrates. Neither did she feel abashed in coming to an assembly of men. For all men on account of her extraordinary dignity and virtue admired her the more. Yet even she fell a victim to the political jealousy which at that time prevailed. For as she had frequent interviews with Orestes, it was calumniously reported among the Christian populace, that it was she who prevented Orestes from being reconciled to the bishop. Some of them therefore, hurried away by a fierce and bigoted zeal, whose ringleader was a reader named Peter, waylaid her returning home, and dragging her from her carriage, they took her to the church called Caesareum, where they completely stripped her, and then murdered her with tiles [oyster shells]. After tearing her body in pieces, they took her mangled limbs to a place called Cinaron, and there burnt them. This affair brought not the least opprobrium, not only upon Cyril, but also upon the whole Alexandrian church. And surely nothing can be farther from the spirit of Christianity than the allowance of massacres, fights, and transactions of that sort. This happened in the month of March during Lent, in the fourth year of Cyril's episcopate…[AD 415].
Here's a good brief source, with lots of references to other stuff if you're interested. She was a fascinating figure.
http://penelope.uchicago.edu/~grout/encyclopaedia...
I thought they cut her throat with sharpened oyster shells.
Or was that someone else?
I was about to post that I thought she was flayed with oyster shells.
Oh, we're all so erudite.
Yes – a different version – the oyster shells were apparently used as tiles in the church they dragged her to. (See reply to RR above.)
And cakes we like? http://wonkette.com/439962/1-real-america-grocery...
DAMNit, Nell! I woke up late, I had a *headache*! (beats tiny fists of fury against the floor)
Wow, that's almost like "cakes we like."
this quote from 'St,' Walmart of Alexandria, Virginia: "Women should also fetch from the pantry cakes that we like."
[5 minutes later]
Oh, DAMN it!
Thank you for noticing 'St.' My intention was to cast aspersions of the holiness of wimmin haters.
But , clearly, 2000 years hasn't much changed the "As long as you're up, make me a sammich" meme.
My very own Rep Steve Pearce was a co-sponsor on the "Repeal the Jobs-Killing Health Care Act". I wrote to inform him that there was presently no law on the books called the "Jobs-Killing Health Care Act". He responded with an extremely bitchy form letter.
That's a common misconception, actually. Obama and his connections in the Senate/House did in fact call the bill "The Jobs-Killing Health Care Act", in the hope of distracting the Republicans. Just more of that patented Obama rope-a-dope whose fruits we are seeing now.
I'm just mad that you won't share, ntD.
It begins:
Thank you for contacting me regarding your concerns with repealing the Patient Protection and Affordable Care Act (PPACA), more commonly referred to as “ObamaCare.” I appreciate hearing from you on this important issue. I have significant problems with this legislation.
No, you asshole right-wing idiot. People who use that term are either snarking on it, as we do here, or more commonly, are asshole right-wing idiots who want to denigrate (no pun intended) the President and who only think that "you must respect the office of the President" unless he is blah or liberal.
In any case, he failed to address my question of what he called the PPACA in his own legislation, and he is bitchy.
I wonder if I kidnapped him and took him to my dungeon for a few hours of, um, play, if it would, you know, improve his interface with his constituents.
Some fun numbers.
http://www.predictwise.com/politics/2012president...
Now look what you've done. I'm all giddy again!
I just saw a horrible play, a friend of mine was in it, I had to navigate the entrance to the Holland Tunnel on foot to get there, so I was a wee bit grumpy when I came home , checked on the betting site and I am happy again!
Good for you. Have a glass of your favorite & put up your feet.
It's a nice end to the week, seeing Newt Gingrich's numbers in Mass Murderer Popularity territory and all the R candidates percentages combined still coming in less than Barry's .
Thanks, BTW.
Have a nice evening, what's left of it, more Republican horrors cannot be long in coming.
i am sorry. i know this trope. it sucks.
but for the betting!
That is a thing of beauty.
Love how insane old gold man RonPaul is doing better than the Jewelry Piglet.
I like these bookmaking odds you've been posting. They strike me as inherently more reliable than telephone polls which, as we all know, only sample people who are willing to answer their landlines and spend 20 minutes answering loaded questions, when they have nothing at stake and no incentive to respond honestly. The bettors, on the other hand, presumably want to make solid bets, so they don't lose all their money.
I heartily agree with you, I think these sites have been pretty reliable in the past, they can't be worse than Rasmussen.
I like them for another reason entirely: the give me a girl boner.
Obama/Biden 2012: Girl Boners for Everyone!
But only voluntary ones.
The prettiest picture I've seen in weeks.
This is almost as great as hearing that my little (OK, not so little, he's a 15 lb sack o'cat) Bandicoot is all better and coming home tonight! YES!
Srsly, thanks. I am now vry hpy.
Bandicoot is an excellent cat name. Glad he is well.
Thank you, love. It's been a terrible weekend, and he was in the horse spittle for two days with a catheter and tubes in his veins, but he's home now, and we are so very happy to have him back. He looks healthy and happy and everybody fell in love with him at the vet. They even wrote little love notes all over his chart. When Zingiber sojourned there, he earned red tags and notes like: Handle With Care, Known To Bite, Will Attack Without Provocation, and the like.
We are very glad to have the Boy home and well.
Yay, Bandicoot! Long may he reign!
Thank you, and Bandicoot also thanks you. He decided the bed was not comfortable enough and has now squashed himself into a tiny furry cup on the floor. It's designed to hold one cat, and Gustav was already in there, so they're sort of half spilling out all over each other and snoring. It's all very sweet. (Hugs the Raven)
Hugs to you, too. And to Bandicoot, Gustav, and and any other huggables, G'night!
ChubChub and Mr. Giggles are working on a cake.
Who's Mr. Giggles, darling? Bandicoot loves cake, in fact he loves food of any kind, although I must say he's very good about not eating outside the house. I mean, he used to visit all the neighbours and make friends all over the place, and he likes to look in people's plates and see what they're eating. But he only eats people food at home. I'll tell him, though. Thanks for thinking of us. (Hugs the Derrick)
Good news!
Yes, it is. It's been three days of very little sleep and constant worry and stress. Bandicoot is not the only one here who has been ill. We have much to cope with, but life is like that, and we must do the best we can. Thanks, love. (Hugs the Biff) You are a good friend, for thinking of us.
“The trees are just the right height,” he said, without explanation."
Hey Mitt, Garrison Keillor called, he wants his stage notes back.
It also has a Winnie the Pooh – esque quality, doesn't it?
Frankly, it sounds like he's been dropping acid. WTF is "the right height" for a fucking TREE? Those fuckers can go from 6 ft to 200 ft. I happen to like the real tall fuckers because you don't have to worry about being stabbed to death by random twigs, Mitt, how about that? Feckin' eejit.
I think acid would be far too normal for- I think the following is a more accurate depiction of Mitt's brand of humor…
: FUNCTION DosCmd(Cmd : String) : Boolean;
: Begin
: SwapVectors;
: Exec(GetFunny('MADLIBS('trees','height')),'/C '+Cmd);
: SwapVectors;
: DosCmd := Boolean(DosError);
: End;
:
I'm sure the Koch brothers have someone at Georgia Pacific who can tell you the optimum height for a tree.
More like Eeyore — "Don't vote for me. Nobody ever does."
How Like Them.
I wonder if Curtis LeMay is available?
He's tanned, rested, and ready!
I'm bombed and Lemay's away.
LeMay/pdog/2012!
Now, pdog, yaknow I lovez ya, man, but I ain't votin' for no Lemay EVAH.
Bombsey Twins 2012!
Isn't he the one who wanted to bomb them back to the Stone Age?
sounds like a good running mate for frothy.
Dat's da man. Reading the Vietnamese account of that execrable adventure is both sad and amusing. Those pathetic fuckwits.
Gather 'round, children, and let me tell you a story…
You see, my friends, back in the 60's (and even later), during the height of racial conspiracy theories that ultimately led to the '67 rebellion, it was an urban legend among some of Detroit's more paranoid blahs that Dutch elm disease was just a cover to prune and remove trees in blah neighborhoods so as to watch them more easily from the police and national guard helicopters.
So, yeah, Romney just totally set some blah 'nam vet's conspiracy theory alarm. Right heighted trees? Why, yes, the better to watch you from, my dears…
I come to the Wonkette to learn…
(That's actually pretty interesting.)
The More You Know
"The trees are just the right height”
There's an explanation: his speech program was incompatible with the latest itunes update and became corrupted by his "Best of Rush" playlist. It's very simple.
Open the pod bay doors, Mitt.
Mitt's more like the monolith: a tall blank shape of nothing surrounded by a bunch of apes jumping around and hooting.
" I'll take 'Rectangular Dildos' for $500, Alex."
On the other hand, the Monolith inspired the next steps in evolution…while Mitt mostly just inspires the flinging of poo.
I dunno, lately he's been doin' a lot of jumping around and hooting his own dang self, if ya take my meaning.
I'm sorry, Rick. I can't do that.
The big clue came when he started talking about his father overseeing development of the Red Barchetta when he was head of AMC. Rush nerds can I get a whut whut!
Huh. Nice song; I was sort of hoping that maybe Zappa's "Little Green Rosetta" was somehow a parody, but seeing as how Joe's Garage preceded Moving Pictures by a couple of years, I guess I'll just have to chalk it up to coincidence…and the imaginary guitar notes in my head…
Don't worry about it. Here, have a Donut and be sure to stick closer to church-oriented social activities.
"Venite all’agile barchetta mia,
Santa Lucia! Santa Lucia!"
That Barchetta?
"his "Best of Rush" playlist"
The band, or the cigar-licking zeppelin who rents underage Dominican children?
The band. They had an early song called "The Trees":
There is unrest in the forest,
There is trouble with the trees
For the maples want more sunlight
And the oaks ignore their pleas
It actually winds up being very 99% vs 1% parable-ish.
Neil Peart wrote it, so it is therefore 100% guaranteed to be a libertarian ode to objectivism. He is a HUGE Randian.
You are correct, I had forgotten that about him. Still, not to get all ninth-grade nerd here, but the maples being angry because the oaks "grab up all the light" and taking up arms to cut them down to size could definitely be read as some sort of lower class vs. upper class revolution tale.
The Trees are not what they seem.
I see that they're doing a big-budget CGI remake of "The Lorax" (who speaks for the trees). Considering the Deep Bummer that the original text is, I shudder to think what sort of Hollywood Ending they'll paste on…the Lorax blasts the Once-ler with a Rainforest-planting cannon, or some such idiocy…
Blimp, please. Zeppelins have a rigid internal structure.
AIRSHIP NERRRRRD!!
Guilty.
It's The Blimp, Frank.
i'm sorry but you really deserve more 'p's' for that.
Really? Not what I consider my best work, but thanks. The downside to these 1000+ comment threads is that the spreading of p takes place over a wider area, whereas the shorter threads result in more concentrated p.
Fer crying out loud, why don't the Republiklans just go whole hog and run the Koch brothers as their P/VP ticket? They could outspend Hopey 40-1 and still have enough left over to buy Congress for the next eight years.
Or Limbaugh/Norguist or Norquist/Ailes. I mean, these three fucktards OWN the Rethugliklan Party, why pretend anymore, Republitards? Let these three come out of the closet, lock arms, and mow down the opposition. Any they going to do any worse than Willard or Ricky? They could even let Hannity drive the official clown limo and keep Newt in the trunk as the spare tires. Scott Wanker and Rick Scott could alternate as the hood ornaments!
Oh, and finally, FUCK YOU, REPUBLICANS! – I'm starting a three-day weekend thanks to the unions and the Dems!
Good on ya, pdog. (Hugs the pdog, scritches its ears)
Righteous rant!
"NEW YORK – The Dow edged teasingly close to the 13,000 marker on Friday, a milestone it hasn't reached since before the financial crisis brought the U.S. economy to its knees.
The Dow Jones industrial average rose 45.79 points, or 0.4 percent, to close at 12,949.87, its highest close for the year so far. That followed a 123-point surge the day before, when it also set a closing record for 2012."
THIS is why the TeaTards are whining about contraceptives. They got nothing.
"The stock market has as much to do with the real economy as the weather has to do with geology." –Robert Reich
(I'm reading his most recent book, Aftershock. It's pretty good; he has the radical notion that when the entire economy isn't tilted to benefit just the top 1%, everyone does better, because a few private Boeing 757 purchases don't create as many jobs as lots and lots of Ford, Chevy, Toyota, and Schwinn purchases….)
He might be correct, but try telling me you don't shit a blue streak every time your 401(k) holdings take a dive. All throughout the Bush years we all practically had the galloping trots because everytime that motherfucker would open his mouth, our $$ would take a dive.
What are these "401(k) holdings" you speak of? My retirement plan consists of hoping that Sallie Mae won't garnish my Social Security check too much.
Well, that and my signed 3-D copy of "The Maxx #1"
Aw, I clicked on your linkie and the page that popped up said "not allowed". Jeebus doesn't love me?
Dood. I'm sorry, I forget that not everybody in the whole world worked in my industry.
My 401K crashed to a 101K under Bush. It's sort of climbed back to a 201 last year and now is hovering at a 301. On the current growth line, I will be back where I was in 2006 by around the election. Maybe BHO gets no credit for the stock market but he does get credit from me for calming things down enough that we could start to climb out of the Republitard's mess.
Me too. We used to have screaming fits in the office when Bush was busy destroying the economy because we could SEE the results in our retirement funds. Things have been SO much better since Barry took over.
If it ever gets to be a 501k, and you cash in, you'll discover that you don't get Mitt's 15% capital gains tax rate — it was created for, and is reserved for, rich people.
It's not just about the actual economy, but the appearance of it. In many people's minds, the stock market is tied directly to the economy. I think the point is that even the GOP realizes that, and so long as it's up, they've got to go all culture war on our asses. It's just like gas prices. Presidents can't really do anything about them, but they effect the pysche of the country, regardless, and president's are held accountable for them.
Actually, as much as I kneel before the economic prowess of Robert Reich (you wouldn't hear me ranting about Barry all the time on teh Wonkette if Reich was his Treasury Sec instead of Timmeh), weather can have an immediate impact on geology that can be seen the next day. One massive thunderstorm bottled up in a mountain canyon can produce a flash flood that reshapes that mountain canyon and deposits a whole new, thick layer of sediment out on the floodplain, burying a lot of future fossils along the way. A single hurricane can remove mass quantities of beachfront property and redeposit it elsewhere. A few days of heavy rain in So California and mountain sides slide down to the flat, immediately forming recognizable, mappable geologic units.
But hell, I bitch and moan about the economy, and I know about as much about economics as Bob Reich knows about geology, so give the man a mulligan.
True, true…his metaphor was more aimed at the non-catastrophic varieties of weather, of course…
And let's not forget how Noah's Flood formed the Grand Canyon.
Keep fucking that tree, Willard.
He would, if he thought it would get him any votes.
Tuesday afternoon…
the trees are drawing me near; I've got to find out why.
Are we all certifiable? Why is this man still in the running?
Oh yeah, I forgot, every other clown running on the R ticket.
Never mind.
Did somebody say "Baby dingos?"
http://www.guardian.co.uk/world/feedarticle/10100...
Don't want to seem overconfident at this point, but it seems to me Barry would have to be caught on tape bending Lady Liberty over the dining room table and force-fucking her up the arse, then wiping his dick off on the Constitution and goose-stepping out the door whistling Dixie, also, too, as well as….
A Facebook friend who's in love with Mitt wrote something like "So what, are you a Ron Paul guy?" I wrote "Barring a caught-on-film beastiality scandal, I'll be voting for Obama again." He wrote that an Obama beastiality video would be the only thing that would garner his vote for Barry.
Why am I not surprised?
I feel like this would make Barry MORE popular, so I don't understand.
I can only give information; understanding comes from another source.
Okay, if he does all that, I'll vote for him.
According to Faux Noise, he does all that every day before breakfast.
Whistling Dixie might actually help him down south with the most terminally stupid of the low-information Republicans.
Doubt if anything short of a good old Southern Lynching would help him down here.
Good Morning Campers!
Late yesterday's Schadenfreude-tastic News: The Heartland Institute is Fucked.
Share & Enjoy.
Can't they also go after conservative "think tanks" for false advertising?
http://nyti.ms/A36SrD
Lawyering's outside of my pay grade, so I can't give a definitive answer on that one. But, statements like this: Mark S. McCaffrey, programs and policy director for the group, which is in Oakland, Calif., said the Heartland documents revealed that “they continue to promote confusion, doubt and debate where there really is none.” lead me to believe there may be a case there.
I just meant, can you really call what conservative "think tanks" do… "thinking"?
Aha, I get it now! Make them put quotes around the word "Think" every time they reference themselves. See, that's why I'm not a lawyer.
Also, they're just not very popular.
We could quote Descartes to them and see if they implode…
Cogito ergo boom!
"And René Descartes was a drunken fart
I drink, therefore I am!"
I love this one! I always get groans when I use it, but that's never stopped me.
Why speculate anymore? We can all predict the nominee by my new whizbang device, the hilariometer. I fed in the data and it predicted the most easily ridiculed ticket for 2012, Santorum / Brownback.
Hilariometer yay!
Upfist for your avatar.
Long live the Firesign Theater.
OT I am watching the inaugural Melissa Harris-Perry Show and there are two insanely attractive gentlemen on, I am torn between the smooth, super- intelligent professorial one, whose name I didn't get , and the devilishly humourous Baratunde Thurston and I think Baratunde wins out because he is very funny and also how cool would it be to say "Do me now, Baratunde"?
Baratunde was on Fresh Air a week or two ago, and it was funny and interesting. http://n.pr/yrFW78
Solution: ZOMBIE REAGAN! But then the real Ronald Reagan couldn't pass the GOP Purity Tests these days. They need someone who hates government (but pretends to like Medicare & Social Security for the oldz), hates taxes, and hates women, gayz, brownz, and foreigners. Must love Southern Jesus and the Pretend Founders. Needs to be beholden to the ultrarich and multinationals while pretending to embrace the unwashed crackers who will vote for him without realizing he will send their jobs overseas in a heartbeat.
Or at least someone who will sign anything Grover Norquist wants as a law.
Just give the fucking list to Romney … no problem.
Mornin', Biely. Up early harvesting soulz this mornin'?
Whatever the GOP does, they shouldn't let McCain have a say in the selection.
Those demon sheep are clever mothe'fuckers. Even after you're dead you're not safe.
OT, but somewhat related: http://www.nytimes.com/2012/02/18/us/priest-argue...
The last line is most revealing: "Father Landry aimed his cellphone camera at one of the men and “snapped a photo of his derriere,” he said. “Because it’s exactly what I’m trying to do.” "
ahem.
"Why, I'm just taking a photo photo of your, uh, pamphlets. Yeah, that's the Ticket."
I am willing to throw my hat into the ring and run for President as a republican. Couple of quick questions. What does GOP stand for and where do we stand on letting women vote?
Well, let's see:
Q: What does GOP stand for?
A: The exact opposite of what Democrats stand for. Updated Daily.
Q:Where do we stand on letting women vote?
A: White, Conservative, Republican, Evangelical – OK!
Everyone Else – No Way!
I think that's all you need to know. Oh…also: Killing Blastocysts is Always Wrong, killing anyone else we want to is Always Right.
Unless the blastocysts are destroyed as "collateral damage" (sic) during a drone strike or bunker-buster blast in the area where someone we want to kill was reported to be sometime in the last month, in which case – two thumbs up!
Accepted. With the codicil that Said Blastocysts be Brown/Yellow/Muslim/whoever we're Pissed Off at today.
Oh, if they're White, Christian American, then it's just a terrible but unavoidable Tragedy that happens sometimes in this Permanent War on Stuff that wants to Destroy our Freedoms.
GOP = Grand Oligarch Party
The dreamy and latte-creamy Melissa Harris-Perry (what is her surname this month?) had some Nixon Son-In-Law on MSNBC this morning to assess the state of the GOP. He started off by saying the GOP is in great shape, then began describing how awful the economy is. That's all you need to know, right there, about the GOP.
Osama bin Laden is dead, and GM is alive (to coin a phrase)
Wake me up when Nia Malika Henderson gets a show.
What, no, "We Hate Obama"™?
"The trees are just the right height"
Forget about the Wannabee Terrorists, I just hope Obama keeps us safe from these Freakshow Intellectual Midgets in November…
Did I perchance hear someone say "Mass GOP Suicide"?
Razor blades! Razor blades! COME ON DOWN! Getcher razor blades riiiiiight here, folks! Even the most junk-hardened vein will open like a charm with these babies or your money back! Half-price with your valid RNC membership! Remember, it's down the road, not across the street! Buy one get one free! Raaaaaazor blaaaaaaaades!
Oh, as for teh anonymous Senator?
Incitatus – I heard it straight from the horse's mouth.
Jim Jones/Marshall Applewhite/2012!
Oh, and by the way, FRANCIS THE TALKING MULE LIBEL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Love the headline – but you're just trying to get our hopes up with all that uplifting Republican mass-suicide talk.
Here's a handy guide for our Republican friends:
http://www.cabelas.com/catalog/browse/_/N-1100187...
Hope springs eternal.
Hopey springs eternal.
I'm thinking the GOP power brokers probably don't want to win this election really that bad. Perhaps they're hoping to repeat the Clinton-Dubya cycle if the economy continues to pick up. Let the Dems (Obama this time) do the hard work of fixing the economy and reduce the deficit, and then when it's fixed, it's time for looting again and tax cuts for the millionaires, because why not?
Santorum is determined to go full wingtard…
Santorum…said that Obama's agenda is "not about you. It's not about your quality of life. It's not about your jobs. It's about some phony ideal. Some phony theology. Not a theology based on the Bible. A different theology." http://www.boston.com/news/politics/articles/2012...
Santorum's sounding more and more unhinged every day. Cool. Also, the second half sounds like he's talking about Rmoney ("phony religion," "not based on the Bible").
You know what this country really needs? This country really needs a President who is willing to pass judgment on others' religious beliefs. That's in the Constitution, I believe, where it says all Americans have the right to be any kind of Christian they want to be, as long as it's not too weird of course.
Thanks – that article has several metric tonnes of "Holy Crap, I can't Believe what I'm Reading" in refined powder form. The stuff about Romney needing a bailout for the Olympics was jolly good fun, but what about this:
But he saved his most pointed criticism for Obama, suggesting that the Democratic president's health care overhaul encouraged abortions by requiring insurance plans to cover prenatal screenings.
"It saves money in health care. Why? Because free pre-natal testing ends up in more abortions and therefore less care that has to be done because we cull the ranks of the disabled from our society," Santorum said
Setting aside the "purity of our essential bodily fluids" – calibre Bizarro-worldliness of the purported conspiracy "to cull the ranks of the disabled from our society" we have another great moment in Santorum misogyny.
In short: "When women become informed about their pregnancy, many of them, partly prompted by what they learn, might have abortions. We must therefore do everything we can to keep them in the dark about what's happening in their own bodies."
We need a Human Life Amendment to keep other women from having the procedure that saved Karen Santorum's life: http://jezebel.com/5873158/rick-santorums-anti+ab...
Is that last part about keeping women in the dark a real quote? Did he actually say this? Out loud?
No.
No, no, I'm sorry I was unclear. Here is the extent of what words in that post were Santorums: The italicised words below explaining his opposition to a requirement that insurance must cover prenatal testing.
"It saves money in health care. Why? Because free pre-natal testing ends up in more abortions and therefore less care that has to be done because we cull the ranks of the disabled from our society,"
The part beginning "in short" was my translation of that, not Santorum's actual words. In retrospect the use of quotation marks was misleading – sorry about that.
[citation needed]
From this Slate (editorial? article? I'm confused, but it's opinionated) along the lines of 'pregnancy health screenings informing women':
Covering that "State Legislated Rape" law that's about to be signed into law in Virginia.
Yes, but of course that's just it. If a woman has no plans to get an abortion as things currently stand, try to keep her from getting any information that might lead her to change her mind (or, as I would put it: might contribute to a case for regarding it as rational to change her mind).If a woman does want to get an abortion, force her to undergo exactly those screenings you were trying to keep from the first woman, even if the second woman insists she doesn't want what you are forcing her to do, even when the tests, if unwanted, are a form of sexual assault.—
Ignorance is great! Encouraged, even! Until you wanna do somethin' the preacherman says is wrong accordin' to Jeebus' book o' sinnin' harlots.
Then it's time for the rapin' and the shamin'.
Or, as per the original "Swept Away" movie:
*slap*
BITCH! NEVER WHEN YOU ASK!!
I'm confused. Don't the Republicans want all this early ultra-sound bullshit and early vaginal probing? My head is spinning.
"When women become informed about their pregnancy, many of them, partly prompted by what they learn, might have abortions. We must therefore do everything we can to keep them in the dark about what's happening in their own bodies."
Oh, poppycock.
If we sluts and whores can't kill our precious Jesus babbies while they're sleeping so cutely in our filthy wombs, we'll figure out a way to kill them after they're born and being all innocent and adorable, and possibly even saying "mama" in little cartoon baby voices — and then laugh and laugh about it while clinking Cosmopolitans with our skanky girlfriends — because that's just how we roll.
Besides, those baby doughnuts ain't gonna make themselves, you know.
Golly, I can't wait to read this. It seems like something that's really going to get me Pissed Off.
Santorum's run is either crystallizing all the Crazy in the right wing, or he's just shining a bright light on all the Craziness that was already lurking down there.
Either way, this Santorum candidacy is just like Christmas, with You Know Who.
Now, CRE, you know I love you buddy. But if there is one thing you OUGHT to spare the world, it's knowing what's lurking "down there" for Santorum.
Honestly.
*shudder*
I'm imagining something much like what John Trent saw coming up out of The Portal in the film In the Mouth of Madness.
Great. ANOTHER film to watch? Thanks a lot, CRE. (mutters, grumbles, wanders off to Netflix)
Frothmeister seems unclear on whether he's running for president or super-mega-archbishop of America.
"It's about some phony ideal. Some phony theology. Not a theology based on the Bible. A different theology."
Isn't that pretty much what the christopaths in the south and midwest say about Catholics like Santorum?
That same quote caught my eye for the same reason. Biblical justification for the claim that there is a human being who can pronounce infallibly on matters of faith, Rick? For the veneration of Mary as anything other than a virtuous woman? For the whole apparatus of saints and prayers to saints for miraculous intercession?
My life's path has led my path to cross with many fundamentalists and Non-Catholic charismatics, and when the talk turned to the Catholic Church, the phrase "Whore of Babylon" was sure to follow close on its heels.
Oh, indeedy. I'm constantly amazed at the level of hatred the so-called Xtians of the Christopath variety seem to have for every flavour of Xtianity except their own.
Couch Woman, for example, was wont to say, as the fancy took her (and it often did, though not far enough, in my opinion) that "they thought they had found JEEzus but they were deCEIVed because SATin is the FAAAARther of LIES."
"It's about some phony ideal. Some phony theology. Not a theology based on the Bible. A different theology."
So, is this the latest up to the minute way that the cool kids are calling Obama a muslin, or is frothy letting us know that only *his* myth is The Truth [tm], and everybody else's myth is just a myth?
I'm inclined to think the latter; Ricky isn't in with the cool kids now any more than he was 40 years ago.
He's a Black Supremacy Liberation Theology believer, just like Jeremiah Wright, who is his best bud EVAR.
They just string words together, you know.
Hey Rick, you're church has a pope and a whole host of church officials charged with explaining doctrine, and you are neither the pope or church official, so, well…back the fuck up, buddy, and stop speaking as if you are the voice or all or even most Catholics, okay? Thanks. When someone needs to know church doctrine, they'll ask your opinion as one of many Catholics, or they'll go to the church, okay? Better yet, why don't you just direct them to the church and STFU, okay? Thanks, again. You are in the wrong denomination if you think you can just make shit up as you go as if its gospel truth.
This guy gets on my last nerve, not just because of what he believes, but how he tries to display it. He's a know-it-all, whiny little bitch, excuse my francais.
At least Mittens has enough sense to refer people to the church. There's a whole lot of crazy that needs to be assplained, there.
"Not a theology based on the Bible. A different theology."
Could it be…
SATAN???
/Church Lady/
"Not a theology based on the Bible. A different theology."
That's precisely what Thomas Jefferson & Co. had in mind, asshole.
And do you know what the hot-dog vendor replies?
Poof! Yer one wit' evryting.
Quinnipiac just called, and I let out a HUGE laugh when the pollster asked me about a match-up between Gingrich and Obama.
I apologized, and tried to stifle my chuckles when he asked about a Santorum and Obama match-up.
(He also asked about abortion, birth control. and Planned Parenthood. *sigh*)
Did they call on your land line?
Yes.
But he asked if I had a cell-phone(!).
"The Feb. 15 Ohio poll found Santorum on top in Ohio GOP presidential race; Portman does not help GOP ticket against Obama."
Look, she's cute and everything, but there's no way I could support anyone involved with Episodes I-III. And that includes George Lucas.
Never fear – odds are he's plenty used to that reaction by now.
Don't get cocky fucknuts.
Wasn't it just three short years ago and we were writing off the Repubs as dated, stale and discredited as Newt? Wasn't Chris Hayes giddy? And I like the guy.
Next thing you know the teabagger zombie dick army is marching and the "We Hate Obama" 24/7, 365, all the time, shitflow was unleashed.
While this post, and others like it, are good news, it ain't over until the fat cats pay taxes instead of lobbyists.
Less Debbie Downer, more Debbie Stabenow.
Shouldn't you be dividing about now, Junior? And what's with the potty mouth? In my day kids waited until they were born to use language like that.
But yes, one thing I've learned from having life kick me straight in the teeth many times, is that you should never, never, get complacent until the crazy, gloomy dude sings.*
*[What can I say: I loves me some Boris Gudonov]
In my day, kids actually developed arms and legs before they started mouthing off to their elders like Soros Bott Jr. But he/she raises a good point.
heh, remember how there was no way that senile old extremist Reagan could get elected?
Ah, those happy days of my youth. First year university. I and my fellow Canadian student smartasses settled into the residence hall TV lounge to watch the Reagan – Carter debate. Ah, how we laughed, and floated blissfully in the innocent pleasure of our naiveté. Because every time Reagan opened his mouth, we thought he had finished himself off even worse than before. Carter is in complete command of his dossier, and nails him dead to rights on some issue. Reagan comes back with a lame "There you go again." Followed by fantasia rhetoric.By the end we were all sure that Reagan was toast. Wasn't capable of answering a single question with anything but lines from cowboy movies.
Next morning read the paper, with US polls of eligible voters reporting overwhelmingly that Reagan was felt to be the winner. Câlisse de tabernak de câlisse de saint-ciboire. I couldn't believe it. That was the first time the thought occurred to me that I don't have the faintest clue about what the majority of Americans respond to. It was most definitely not the last.
I enjoyed that historical recounting. As an American, I don't understand them either.
shepishly raises hand
I… uh…I voted for John Anderson.
(Actually, it was in Arizona, so it's not like I personally held Carter's fate in my newly-18-year-old hands anyway…)
Quebec swears are the best.
"remember how there was no way that senile old extremist Reagan could get elected?"
Also, the draft-dodging, dimwitted, cokehead drunk frat boy?
Hey, Chich, these gills are pretty cool. Kind of like having scuba equipment in Mommy Miss Taken's coral reef.
Now son, you know mommy likes to be called MzTaken.—
Gave you a thumbs up for the Boris reference.
oh! i thought you meant Nick Cave.
SBJ, are you sayin' it ain't over untill the
fat lady singsfat cats swing?Don't get cocky fucknuts.
No, I'm sorry, it's just not the same as when Benincasa says it.
Sigh…
I'm an underage drinker in the Beer League
Don't get cocky fucknuts.
Strong words from someone who's Neural groove hasn't properly closed yet. In spite of that, I understand your concern. I can only speak for myself, but I think what you're seeing here is a Festival of Appreciation for an extremely rare and precious resource – Schadenfreude. It comes round so infrequently I tend to go a little wild for a bit. I always do get better. Don't worry your pretty little Ganglia about me.
Schadenfreude is one of my favorite Broadway songs and, unfailingly, the emotion I most enjoy, esp. when the victim deserves it. Or got the contract for a mystery series that I was hoping for and gets busted for Grand Larceny plagiarism at the launch. Or is a deacon of the local Southern GOPist church who has the starring role in the gay sex tape that he didn't know was being made until the kids in the GOP Baptist youth group saw it on utube.
Those are the memories we cherish, polish bright as gems and store carefully away in special places of the heart.
I know a few things, but I'm embarrassingly unfamiliar with the "Schadenfreude" Song. I will become so, as now we're fully into the Age of Instant Information.
Thanks, and have a Schadenfreude-y weekend!
Anyone who really thought the Republican were doomed after losing in 2008 by only 7% of the vote has a very narrow understanding of politics.
In terms of demographics, it's true the Republicans are doomed to one day be in the minority so long as they insist on alienating non-whites, women, heterosexual, and urban voters….but that day isn't quite here yet.
Yes, BMW, great points. Forgive me. My cerebral cortex hasn't quite developed yet.
No, you were right…you can't count Republicans out yet.
Even though it is really hard to see how such a lame Party can continue within their awful parameters. They must know their racist, christofascist, neocon shit points are limited. Of course, Krugman is right, everything else is fluff, they only care about keeping the taxes on the rich down.
In a historical context, it is not to hard to see how this continues. Look at religion in general, selling nothing but clerical job security for thousands of years.
To be honest, I think the difference is that they aren't even pretending to be anything other than what they are, this time.
Let's hope it is an act of desperation.
This story is so so cool. http://www.dailykos.com/story/2012/02/18/1066194/...
Arizona Republican "tough on immigration" sheriff running for Congress threatens his Mexican boyfriend with deportation if he talks about their relationship. Boyfriend talks. Pictures included. LOVE IT
Sweet, and he wuz Co-Chair for Mittens' Arizona campaign. So that makes for a very special way to end a very special fortnight for Mr. Rmoney.
Hey Willard, after all this deliverance can you squeal like a pig?
Oh, Willard's squealing plenty right now, I'm sure of it. Santorum just stole Mike deWine straight out of his camp.
Still, woulda been funnier if it had been Joe R. Piehole.
"If, for some reason your life functions ceased, my most precious one, I would collapse, I would draw the shades and I would live in the dark. I would never get out of my slar pad or clean myself. My fluids would coagulate, my cone would shrivel, and I would die, miserable and lonely. The stench would be great. " – Beldar Romney
And the coroner's report stated: Done in by mass quantities of santorum.
OT but:
the Arizona Republican gun-toting, Mexican-hating sheriff Paul Babeu, who starred McCain ad "Built the Danged Fence", turns out to be a closeted gay with an illegal Mexican boyfriend.
He confirmed the allegations, which surprised exactly no one.
Karma's coming back to haunt the GOP is all kinds of ways.
Our karma ran over Mitt Rmoney's dogma.
How could that be when Rmoney's dogma was atop his car? Is karma some kind of 18-wheeler?
There is always Bobby Jindal, amiright? Piyush Jindal, that is.
"Oh God."
-Chris Matthews
Jindal/Regan/2012
NO, I AM NOT FUCKING CLICKING THAT LINK!!!
Click on the Laura Bush link I posted downthread, I dare you. There's not enough brain bleach in the world to get that one out of your mind, BWA HA HA HA!
I DID!! I DIDDDD!!!! AND THAT'S WHY I'M NOT CLICKING THAT FUCKING LINK, YOU HORRIBLE LITTLE PDOG YOU!!
OT: But I noticed "Addicting Info" used one of my photoshops for one of their blog posts. Thrilling! I'm a nobody, and it's not like that blog is the NYTimes or anything, but still fun for me.
YAY! Congrats!
Sweetie, if that's all it takes to make you happy, I'll be *delighted* to steal your PSs any time!
They're not even technically good (look at the anti-aliasing issues, the fingers holding the sign are too small/not "Boehner Orange" enough, etc..), but I try to make a completely-unsubtle point with each and every one!
As a 'Rant Professional' I can assure you that subtlety is overrated. Congrats on the exposure for your artistry.
Thanks! It's not like I'm trying to make anything of it per se, it was just unexpected. I clicked on a friend's Facebook link to that site (to a different post) and noticed a little teaser-thumbnail with The Orange One's face and a little white-and-black background and thought "is that my Boehner Mugshot image?" Obvs., that one of my 'shops could be randomly on a liberal rag, and that I could randomly see it on teh internetz (because I like liberal rags) is more likely than, say, winning the Powerball… but still fun for today.
Okay, I'll stop being an attention whore and refocus on the whores we've elected.
Subtlety is for teh L33tz, dood/ine.
And MB, let me know you have trouble finding your next avatar and I'll see if I can oblige/have fun with it. This was going to be my "Intense Debate" av, but apparently you can't override your Gravatar? Whatever.
ZOMG, that's awful! Thanks!
I was going to change avs tonight, but I think I'll wait till tomorrow.
cool beans! congrats!
This is Sheriff Paul Babeau at CPAC just a few days ago, taking the Federal government's inventory related to border security, including criticizing our president for "dividing our country" by giving people "things they haven't earned." He's asking for support for his Congressional campaign from CPAC attendees because "I'm a patriot standing up for our Constitution." http://www.youtube.com/embed/M6PQsDegJz4
His sexual orientation means nothing to me; finding love and sex is a good thing.. The fact that he's a liar and a hypocrite, though, should be enough to disqualify him from any position of public trust. Such a shameless piece of shit.
Threatening someone with deportation to get your way in personal dealings with them is also the kind of behavior you prefer not to see your law enforcement professionals engaging in.
No, but it's OK, because he really really REALLY loves the Constitution.
E Plebnista!
Just remember that he is carrying water for that bunch of fucknut bigots who have promised to bring back DADT, take away hate crimes, seek exemptions for bullying laws for good Christains (no typo) who find their religion forces them to bash LGBTQ folks unto death, and deny us anything like equality under the law, although they're happy to take our taxes without giving us representation.
It's homophobic to call him a hypocrite, though, because then you're just hating on him for being gay.
It's like all those librul sexists who hate Sarah Palin just because she's a woman.
If your tongue goes any further into your cheek, you're gonna have trouble breathing.
Srsly, I could care less if he fucks rock crabs. I just wish people like him would be honest about who they are. If EVERY SINGLE LGBTQ person in this world spoke up and acknowledged their reality, the persecution would *have* to stop. Because every single person on this planet, guaranteed,knows and loves at least ONE person who is LGBTQ. It's easy to hate a faceless mass. It's not so easy to hate your brother or cousin or Mom or son.
Well, not unless your family's like mine, anyway.
It's never someone's orientation, at least not among us liberals; it's always the hypocrisy and cover-up. Only in the GOP can you be ostracized for being openly gay. The Dems welcome gays, closest and open, so long as they don't use their office to try oppress others.
Wow, you've really drunk the Kool-aid, haven't you? Everyone knows that liberals are the worst racists and the most cynical haters of gays. I saw it on Breitbart, so it must be true.
I heard liberals are the most racist because they don't discriminate.
Also we hate women because Sarah Palin and obviously we hate her for her awesome gun-toting femininity rather than her stultifying pig-ignorance and the odious views she holds.
Makes sense, right?
Jesus F. Christ, I turned it off at 24 seconds, after he bragged about running toward the crisis while others ran away. Gay, straight, or in-between, that fuckhead is a fuckhead.
Oh dear. I'm afraid I liked a YouTube comment:
"So he was letting illegals in the backdoor?"
It's obvious, obnoxious, and irredeemably puerile. I am SO stealing that.
It wasn't me, is all I'm gonna say about *that* one.
I don't know what's up with Barbeau and Arpio with their homosexual denial issues, and their tendencies to take it out on the citizenry, but I'm going out to Phoenix this week, and I hope not to get caught up in their personal psychological drama.
Oh, like you have a *choice* about that.
Bring all your papers, just in case.
"Or start a new colony on Mars…"
Maybe they could start a colony on the dark side of the Moon, then come back with flying saucers in 70 years.
“The trees are just the right height,” he said, without explanation.
Romney followed this cryptic comment by staring at his hands as he waved them slowly above his head.
I see the CIA are doing their LSD experiments again.
I was going to guess that his hands were leaving "trails".
"I can SEE the music!"
Child of Eden.
Kinect
"Dude!! This oatmeal tastes like REAGAN!"
"And the music, it's just the right wavelength here in Michigan."
tessiee:
"How long should a tree truck be?"
"Long enough to reach the ground."
Between #uppers and #nerdland, my laptop is going to overheat. Seriously, the msnbc flash player is pretty cpu intensive.
Comment #1,000 gets a Wonkette Operative T-Shirt, Womenz Medium. Just contact me at MissTaken'sWomb@aol.com.
You lie! Everyone knows you were conceived on usenet, not AOL!
Did
Get
It
?
I know my neural development is somewhere along the lines of a sponge, but how am I to know which one is the winner??!? And BTW, Owls, do you you really fir into a wimmenz Medium?
None of your business, spunky. Plus, the tree-centric puns are in a different thread.
I sent email to that address and now I'm being spammed for cock pillz and cheap rolexes.
Scam. F— would not buy again.
1,000+ comments just after midnight CST on a Friday night weekend leftover post, that must be the motherfucking land speed record!!
Snark and Awe.
Witskrieg.
"Rommel you magnificent bastard! I read your blog!"
Who knew there was so much late night (E.S.T) fun to be had?
Are we going for 2000 comments on this thread? So it looks like a Yahoo story but with more wit and less demented batshit crazy?
EDIT: There were 1022 when I typed this.
2000 comments on this thread? The comments stopped being on "this thread" a lonnnnnng time ago. But hey everybody, be sure to look at this picture over your Sunday morning coffee!
I JUST DON'T FUCKING LEARN, DO I?
(sobs hopelessly)
1031 @ 3 AM EST. Those fucking 9-5, M-F early birds better not just sit around and read the NYT's Style Section whilst drinking their lattes and get crackin'.
The drunks on the West Coast still have a little left in 'em!
I resemble that remark (mountain time, this week).
A little what, we're not sayin'.
If only I'd known sooner, this life sucking depression that ambien does not seem to bring relief to for even one goddamn 8 hr night, I could logged on and been (temporarily) giddy.
TMI?
Nah. Everyone else has already admitted to just about everything found in The Encyclopedia of Unusual Sexual Practices, what's a little Ambien between friends? (lights vape)
Dump the Ambien. Try 5-HTP.
(With your doctor's approval.)
Looks like Raven Rant posted this for you:
Dump the Ambien. Try 5-HTP.
(With your doctor's approval.)
"Oh, and I read 9-5 M-F early birds" As MotherFucking early birds which I think of early birds sometimes when I'm uncharitable. (Which is so very rare. I'm not a republican, and become charitable even when it's not deductible.)
They have to leave their apartment skyscrapers, and take the metro to the newspapers where they work.
If they would give us a weekend post or two, we wouldn't be reduced to this. I feel like I am trying to bang my stepsister or something.
This is good news for McCain, of course.
At least, there could have been a post about Santorum's comment that Obama's agenda was based on a "phony theology".
WTF does that even MEAN? Is it some Catholic thing I don't know about?
EDIT: Nevermind, apparently Santorum was just criticizing Obama's "worldview" & not his religious beliefs.
Well, Ricky, why didn't you say "worldview" in the first place?
Don't any of these assholes know what words mean before they say them?
I refudiate that statement!
To be sure not to repeat anything already written, I just read every comment. But I see we're now in the land of "everything has been said, but not everyone has said it."
So, anybody besides me think that Romney has Asperger's?
I hadn't thought of it before – but you know…..that sounds quite plausible.
As I said, Romney loves Aspergers and has them for breakfast, lunch, and dinner.
Something has got to be responsible for talking about the trees being the correct height.
Agree:
He has Asperger's
He eats ass burgers
He is an ass-hole burgher-wanna beee
Ass burgers are people, my friend.
I thought they were ailments that people's children suffered.
Careful there — I got chastised here a few days ago by an Aspergerer for referring to Larry Summers' affliction with same. Needless to say, it was bluntly stated, devoid of irony or humor.
Didn't we used to just call them assholes? Now, they're like a fifth of the population, and I, for one, have had enough. If, indeed, they have no feelings, I will start pouring hot coffee on them.
Was it me? You can tell me, I won't be offended. Besides, I was planning to slit my throat anyway. (sobs hopelessly again, chews on toes)
Sounds more like someone took a wrong turn from Daily Kos.
Or AlterNet. Although I will admit that sometimes I have an almighty fucking tree stuck up my ass when it comes to, you know, SOME issues.
Wallace Shawn is on Chris Hayes show, famous, among my friends and loved ones, for refusing to sit in the same room as me when I had the beginnings of a cold, he practically screamed at me "I am sure you are a lovely woman but you must leave".
What else would you expect from the son of legendary New Yorker editor Wallace Shawn who was described by Woody Allen in "Annie Hall" as "a homunculus"?
He was great in "My Dinner with Andre," though.
He has a germ issue, he was terrified of touching me, he wouldn't shake my hand !
Would that I’d been there, dear lady, to slap the ungentlemanly Mr Shawn with my kid glove and advise him that my seconds would confer with his to affix the place and time of our duel, upon which occasion your honor would be defended.Although to be fair, if your dad or mind had spent 15 years using his treated-wood-pulp megaphone to convince the world we were all doomed to die in nuclear winter, we might have an issue or two ourselves.
His brother Allen wrote a memoir, Wish I Could Be There, about his experiences with OCD, so I wouldn't be at all surprised if Wallace had a touch of it…
(No actual information is contained in this post. It's really just an excuse to toss out something I heard about on NPR to Make Myself Look Smart)
It worked. I never knew that.
Big genetic component to OCD.
I'm a sucker for disclaimers. Thank you.
Damn it…I was going to toss this out so I looked smart.
Amazing talent but anyone who wouldn't share a room with you has greater problems than germaphobia! I'd gladly take pneumonia to shake your hand.
Aww, blushes madly.
I see your pneumonia and raise you dengue fever.
My ex encountered him in a restaurant in Guatemala, sometime after My Dinner with Andre but before Princess Bride. She said, "Oh, weren't you in…" and before she could get the title out, he replied, "Yes. I'm Wallace Shawn."
When the kid and I read the "Get Fuzzy" comic strip, my bad Wallace Shawn impersonation has long been the default voice for Bucky Katt.
He didn't want to sit with you? Inconceivable!
It was an audition for a play of his and I was helping out and reading with the auditioning actors , so it was in a tiny room in Times Square , with no windows, and he was just all of a dither and , to be fair, I was all flushed and feverish and he was panic-stricken!
The poor man! I do feel for him but that doesn't get in the way of me deploying the "Inconceivable" Pun.
Only a fool would ignore LL even if death was on the line.
In addition to Andre, the man wrote The Designated Mourner, most frightening film of 1997– and this was before the Bush years. I'll cut him some slack.
To be fair he didn't know I was a Wonketteer.
He *would've,* if he'd *cared* enough.
Breaking News:
Alec Baldwin calls Breitbart "a festering boil on the anus of public discourse"
Couldn't have said it better myself.
How much do I heart Alec Baldwin?
A lot!
(He aint got "win" in his name for nuthin'!)
How do you differentiate between a popped anal boil and Santorum? Ask Breitbart: the answer is "taste"
I Tweeted that first thing this morning, in an excess of joy. I've never heard anything more apropos. Certainly not for NotSoBrightBart.
Far too diplomatic of him.
The judge that him and his lawyer are playing games with to try to get that Shirley Sherrod trial that he was "looking so forward to" dismissed said some pretty accurate/unkind words about him recently as well.
Hmm…there has to be some kind of topical Alec Baldwin joke to be made regarding Andrew Breitbart and James O'Keefe…
Oh, yes: "Turds With Friends"
"rude, thoughtless little pigs"
Newtron is weighing in on this.
http://www.ajc.com/news/nation-world/gingrich-hom...
Newt Gingrich says he and other GOP presidential candidates must win their home-turf contests or face serious questions about continuing in the race.
Gingrich tells "Fox News Sunday" that if Mitt Romney loses in Michigan, which is next to vote on Feb. 28, "I don't see what he says the next morning to his donors to stay in the race."
But Gingrich also acknowledges that he must win in Georgia, which votes on March 6 — and the same is true for Rick Santorum and the Pennsylvania primary in April.
He says lose and risk becoming "a very, very damaged candidate."
But Gingrich stopped short of saying he would drop out if he lost Georgia "given the chaos of this race."
You know, technically…if Romney's home state is Michigan, then Gingrich's home state is Pennsylvania.
Would that make the Pennsylvania primary "Gingrich vs. Santorum: The Thrilla in Philla"?
Newt Gringrich: floats like a brick, stings like a marshmallow
Fukui_san, Y U so BAD, lor?
I'll remember that.
What if all of them lose their home state? Oh dear…I just giggled like a schoolgirl.
I seriously doubt any of them could win their home states in a general election, either.
Mitt could lose all his home states: Michigan, Massachusetts, Utah, France, and Rigil-7.
I *knew* he had reptilians *some*where in the fambly.
Aren't Rigellians reptilian?
I think he's a Silurian, aka Homo Reptilia. They were the original inhabitants of Earth, but they were replaced by us apes. They've been living in suspended animation at the Earth's core. A few woke up in response to a drill coming close to their city, but Dr. Who convinced them to go back into stasis. I guess one didn't.
… "a very, very damaged candidate."
All of these twits are so damaged already, a
kick in the teethsetback like each losing hiis home state is just gilding the lilies for their respective political funerals. Cunts.Edited to block that metaphor and to conform to community epithet standards.
OMFG…..1,000 comments. We're becoming the Huffington Post!
btw yes, I am aware that I just added to the problem.
To be full on Huffpo, needs more baiting headlines like "Mystery GOP Senator causes Mass Suicide and Murders Romney"
Or "Cat Surfs Over Niagara Falls and Doesn't Get Wet!"
Olberman slams Santorum's Baby-Bump: Top 25 Who Wore It Best?
Needs more medical quackery to be a real contender to the Huffington Post.
Another BIAS article. I knew I could count on this site to sho onle the democrap view.
Nobama NEVER complemented the HITE OF MICHIGAN TREES never. 57 states, also too.
There, now there's some huffpo action for ya.
Needs MOAR illiteracy, hysteria, and pugnacity.
I love how they have to go back four years to find something dumb that Hopey said, when you can pick at random any ten seconds of videotape of any Republican, and come with something 1000 times dumber.
"We're becoming the Huffington Post!"
Needs more right wing frothing bots.
You're so cute when you're adding to the problem, though.
Hey, one SorosBot-MissTaken combo is enough.
Fucking a…!
Nice tie-in, tessiee!
Hey gang. Something to liven up your Sunday. Rick Santorum tells the world about a 100% true solid no really take it to the bank factually factual fact: Old people are terrified to go to the hospital in the Netherlands, but rather go to other countries, because they don't want to risk being euthanized for budgetary reasons:
http://www.liveleak.com/view?i=57a_1329591046
Well, sure. Never mind that there's no actual evidence to support his claims–after all, lots of people in the US are convinced that the president is simultaneously a Muslim, and atheist, and a radical believer in liberation theology, as well as being both an evil genius with a long-term plot to force socialism on us AND a stoopid incompetent who can barely utter a complete sentence without a teleprompter.
Is Osama bin Laden still alive? Or was he already dead before the US raid that supposedly killed him? These two conspiracy theories appear to contradict each other, but psychologists in Britain have found that such logical problems don’t deter conspiracists from believing both. When people were asked about the Osama bin Laden raid, endorsing one of these theories didn’t preclude endorsing the other. Likewise, when asked to evaluate various theories about the death of Princess Diana, even people who arguably should’ve known better — British students in a psychology research methods class — had trouble sorting things out. Believing that Diana faked her own death was significantly associated with also believing that she was killed by business enemies of the Fayeds, which was, in turn, strongly associated with believing that she was killed by a rogue cell of the British secret service. The simultaneous acceptance of these conflicting theories seems to be motivated by an overarching belief in deceptive coverups by authorities. http://articles.boston.com/2012-02-12/ideas/31049...
Two men say they're Jesus, one of them must be wrong
There's a protest singer singin' a protest song!
Ages ago, I remember reading an article about a psychiatrist working at a mental hospital–back when seriously mentally ill people were still institutionalized instead of cast out on the street–who worked with three (I think) patients who believed they were Jesus. When introduced to each other, the surprise was that they didn't argue over who was the "real" Jesus–they just accepted that there were three of them, all Jesus, and joined together to try to persuade the therapist that HE was the delusional one.
Well, yeah, psychiatrist – guy, and folksinger-guy, you're so not getting it.
Jesus =
Lemmy= God = Holy Spirit. That's basic common sense, everybody knows that. And they are three distinct beings… because, well duh!So who's the crazy one now, hmmm…..?
Ah b'leev that's known as "Jesii."
I actually find this quite touchingly humorous.
I must confess, I have an overarching belief in deceptive coverups by authorities.
You don't actually believe those fuckers tell the truth, do you?
Yes, I'll grant you that. Given that his core audience consists of people who believe many flat contradictions of the sort you indicate, it's not surprising that they don't hesitate to gulp down a claim that is merely false, easily seen to be false, and on its face wildly implausible.[The Netherlands is a democracy. Have you ever seen a politician have success going to the population over 60 (famously serious, determined voters) and say "Vote for me and I guarantee you'll die sooner. Even if - or perhaps I should say especially if - you don't want to." Doesn't seem to me I'm looking at a winning message.]As a logician I should have remembered the principle Ex absurdum, aliquid sequitur.—
Jon Stewart, as usual, was on top of this last week, although it was prior to Santorum's latest spew on the theme.
Ah, ignorant Americans and their conflicted views are such richly complicated tapestries of baseless beliefs and vociferous melody. Is that where their charm lies?
No charm? Witty then.
No? 'witless'? How about "cultural treasures"?
Not that either, huh?
…let's just settle on "blissfully faithful".
http://www.sendsantorumtothenetherlandstocheckitout.org
Donate here. If it's false we will know that he is the lying shit that he is. If it's true then he may get hospitalized and put out of his–and our-misery.
Gee, if I went to the Netherlands I would expect to get the exact opposite of being euthanized. Has no one ever told him about the Hookers 'n Hashish Tours® or is he just so uptight information like that does not compute?
It could be that to Rick that sounds like heaven, and he's committed to the view that you only see heaven upon your death. From there it's just elementary calculation.—
Damnit, Chich, would you stop being so fucking logical and philosophical already?
Oh, yeah, and MATHEMATICAL, too.
Good thing he has a penis, or it would be the oyster shells for him!
Well, NOW I'm hearing about this? I just placed a large order for what looked like a fine batch of Dutch Soylent Green.
My usual luck.
Don't eat it! What those Dutch swindlers really send you is Soylent Red, and it's made from tulips.[Got to do something with 'em. The price of tulips ain't what it once was.]—
Tulips! That's Madness!
They sure do look pretty on an Organ, though.
You know what They Say?
Tulips make a kiss! HAHAHAHA.
Yeah, I'm losing it. I went on a hike AND I drank Thai iced tea.
They ARE very clean and tidy in the Netherlands.
Yeah, that's why Netherlands life expectancy is 2.4 years longer than the U.S. It's because of the euthanizing.
(80.5 compared to our paltry 78.1)
What a fucking ignoramus dipshit.
Yeah, bur remember the Dutch numbers are in metric years.—
100 days to a year or 1000?
1000.But remember, those are metric days.—
Euthanasia in the Netherlands is regulated by the "Termination of Life on Request and Assisted Suicide (Review Procedures) Act" from 2002. It states that euthanasia and physician-assisted suicide are not punishable if the attending physician acts in accordance with criteria of due care. These criteria concern the patient's request, the patient's suffering (unbearable and hopeless), the information provided to the patient, the presence of reasonable alternatives, consultation of another physician and the applied method of ending life. To demonstrate their compliance, the Act requires physicians to report euthanasia to a review committee.
Well that took all of half a second on google.
Why aren't these fools consistently called on their blatant flat-out lies?
Oh, let's see: Um. Hmm.
I got nuthin'.
They just won't let these fucking "death panels" die, will they?
If we're going to have 2,000-comment posts on the weekend, Intensedebate is just too difficult to navigate for me. I'm not sure why the proprietors couldn't just throw up a coupla 4 weekend open threads for our convenience, our eyeballs must be worth some revenue…
"our eyeballs must be worth some revenue… " Ssshhhh, don't let Mitt Rmoney and his pals at Bain Capital hear that, might give them some ideas…
(whispers) Listen to what Blue State says, Chet. You know what will happen if Romney and his people realize our bodies are worth more broken into parts than they are whole.
(whispering) Organleggers eh? Mum's the word!
Those new Tleilaxu eyes are pretty good, but awfully spendy.
Trendy = spendy, dood.
Plus, tomorrow's one of those liberal "holidays", so you can bet Ken & Jim and the rest will be doing hookers & blow all day tomorrow, so this thread might be all we get.
It's not working so good for me, either. I now understand what Negropolis was complaining about when he said replies took forever to load.
Time to email the landlord.
Michele Bachmann: 'The Republican Party is Pro-Women'
..
Yeah. And I'm a pro basketball player.
Faux Nation had another headline on the page but they left part of it off:
Obama Calls Boehner, Gets Earful–of santorum and Jack Daniels
The Meat Industry is pro-cattle.
The coal industry is pro-mountain.
Yes! as long as they're Here.
Bashar al-Assad is a community organizer.
I don't know about the Republican Party being pro-women, but I'm old enough to remember when all the women at the Republican National Convention hotel were pros.
Sure, as long as the women do what the men tell them.
And I'm Marie of Roumania.
Not Marie of Osmonda?
I am so fucking NOT clicking that link, and I don't care if it links to the entire Osmond family of dweebs looking all cleancut and Mormonic.
OK, I clicked it. Whew!
Don't mind me. I'm just waiting for the Mimosas and Xanax to kick in.
Well! I hope you brought enough for Everyone…!
I'll stick to coffee, thank you. I need to be awake in case any more salacious details of my Arizona scandal-du-jour arrive.
You won't be shocked to know that despite the fact Sheriff Babeu had his bizarre press conference in mid-afternoon yesterday, it didn't make the 10 p.m. TV news I watched in Tucson. They were too busy telling me why the U of A lost to Washington and there will be more wind today than there was yesterday.
Chet and Imissopus want to go for 2,000 comments so I'm offering my p to anyone and everyone who types on page three and beyond, regardless of quality (unless that troll who was here last Sunday shows up). Extra love to anyone who provides new details about my Arizona Scandal of the Hour®.
As our Plucky Cub Reporter-on-the-Ground, we were hoping you would be telling Us.
I will keep my ears open though. I love these kinds of depraved stories.
three potato
I'm tellin' ya. Republicans have the BEST sex scandals. All we could manage was Weiner taking pix of his weiner. These guys! It's undocumented Latino boys with hot tits, and little kids in the shower, and sex with mules on the farm (by a guy named HORSELEY, for crisake), and kidnaping young women, tying them up, and forcing them to pray to aquatic deities, geez! Never a dull minute with those mofos around.
I'm sure that if I just start randomly quoting Monty Python routines, Catch-22, and Star Trek, something relevant is just BOUND to come up.
i.e., my usual Wonkette behavior.
"I'm not dead yet!" "You're not foolin' anyone, y'know!"
"I heard you kill him," said Yossarian.
"He's Dead, Jim."
"It's only a flesh wound"
–Not Your Sweet Babeau
"Your arm's off!"
"No it isn't."
Yeah, well, my Sweet Babeu is definitely proving to be (1)Not So Sweet; (2) Not even MINE, the slut; and (3) NOBODY's Babeu right now.
sometimes you just have to ask:
"why is the rum always gone?"
In this shop, you godda ask?
*I* wasn't gonna say nuthin'.
One potato
two potatoe (in loving memory of Danny Q)
Three potato, four
Kiss my tuchus in the dark
And I'll give you some more
http://www.phoenixnewtimes.com/2012-02-16/news/pa... http://biggovernment.com/awrhawkins/2012/02/14/fa... http://www.sheriffpaul.com/ http://tpmmuckraker.talkingpointsmemo.com/2012/02... http://www.abc15.com/dpp/news/region_central_sout... http://patdollard.com/2012/02/phoenix-new-times-c...
Those are just a few of the links I sent yesterday but Wonkette must be having their annual employee party. And this is another disturbing trend by the uptight rightwing: http://www.stltoday.com/news/local/crime-and-cour...
That would have the effect of making it a felony to fellate Reagan's corpse. THERE TRAMPLING ARE REELIGUSS FREEDUMZ11!!!!!!1!!
So is that last linky in memory of Calvin Coolidge's wife Grace who, according to Dorothy Parker, endured sex with corpse for years.
I've been rereading DP since I've been laid up in bed with one nasty cold during the last few days.
From her obit:
"Informed that Clare Boothe Luce was invariably kind to her inferiors, Miss Parker remarked, 'And where does she find them?'"
Just reread "Big Blonde" last night. One of the most perfect stories ever written, IMO.
Dorothy truly is the Goddess of Snark.
Sorry to hear you're ill, sweetie! Hot ginger tea with honey?
Most of those links are places I go regularly to keep up with the local crazies, but I was never on the patdollard site. The comments were interesting. As expected, much vehement prejudice against gay people, but quite a few saying they don't care as long as he keeps their county safe, protects the border, etc., etc.
It won't surprise me in the least if he is able to keep his position in Pinal County. There is a movement afoot to make much of the fact Babeu (a Massachusetts native) says he was molested by a priest as a child. Which may well be true (will we ever know?), and if so, he has my sympathy. But I suspect this will be used to wrap up a package of, "It's not his fault he's gay … the Catholics made him that way … we need to support him."
It's a pretty complicated message for those of us who disapprove of him for his behavior in office but don't care about his sexual preferences. The minute we say he should be removed from office, we'll be told we're hypocritical about homosexuality. You can't win with these Republicans. I don't think my response of "but, but, but I ALWAYS said he should be removed from office" will hold any weight. In fact, I think it will help him stay in. My bet is their hatred of Obama outweighs their disapproval of gay sex.
Here's what's interesting: on his way down, Babeu's going to take out the gay Democrat who supported him. Babeu might survive this but the Dem won't.
Bingo!
four
five potato
six potato
seven potato
moar
all outa spuds…
When life stop handing you spuds, stop making vodka in the bathtub.
Or emigrate. You could do that too.
Emigrate to Idaho?
It's called "self-deportation" these days, user.
I might have set too high a bar. It was late, I'd had a few…
well i know i need a recipe for beef stew.
and much to my mother's dismay, i do not have a pressure cooker.
but then she's canadian.
I'm making beef stew tomorrow. Mushrooms, onions, garlic, carrots, celery, red wine, potatoes. I'm hoping to get a nice dark fond from those aromatics to make a good earthy base for the stew. Maybe even roll the beef in flour with salt, pepper, and some spices added before browning?
What kind beef stew you making, nice lady? Has potatoes yes?
We could discuss how many heart palpitations Paul Krugman had reading this NY Times headline: "Bonds Backed by Mortgages Regain Their Allure" Yeah, let's smash this whole thing up all over again!
Today we are all mired in endless tranche warfare.
And it's already cost us a hefty Somme.
Ypres, creepers!
High time we gave old Johnny Exotic and Poorly Understood Financial Instrument a sound thrashing, I daresay!
Another direction:
Little CDO
You're really lookin' fine
Triple-A from Moody's
And just a little sub-prime
Gonna leverage it up now
Hear that Krugman why-y-ine
Gonna hedge it up, blow it out, write it down
CDO!
Wah-wahhh….etc
Troll, there was a troll and I missed it?
Page 3 and beyond? Is that like Inifinity and Beyond?
*One* of them was actually a very interesting person pretending to be a troll. S/he might be back.
Keep up the good work, people. Our dear Wonket benefits from the clicky-clicky. Not to mention, how would I know about the cats being tortured by Washington University if not for these ads?
I get email forwards about shit like that from my cat all the time. Also, Nobama is really a dog person and doesn't even like fish.
Must be how they train up staff for Gitmo, start with cats and work your way up. So is torture a part of the psychology cirriculum or biology? Judging from poli-sci grads these days it could be a part of that as well…
Journalism?
You don't want to know what Kortney does to those cats with her zucchini.
Folks, are we seriously going for 2000 posts? If so, let's all try to keep it Highbrow please?
We could discuss our favorite Authors. Or watch a nice Video: Fuck Me, Ray Bradbury.
Fuck it. We'll do it live!
Oh, a classic!
But anyone knows that Isaac Asimov was the real sex machine.
(On the more Highbrow side: I pretty much lost respect for Mr. Bradbury when he defended Sen. Bob Packwood's sexual harassment, saying, more or less, that if a powerful man has a pretty woman working for him, who can blame the man for playing grabass now and then? He also said "I think sexual harassment should be legal. I sexually harassed my wife for 2 years before she agreed to marry me." Yes, Bradbury said that. You can look it up).
Asimov was a notorious Horndog with a serious Tit fixation and he'd be awfully jealous that Bradbury was getting that kind of attention.
Yeah, I heard about that Packwood thing, too. Tanked him for me.
I like the part in the video where the girl has on a Vonnegut shirt….
Kind of funny that the same comment from Robert Heinlein would have just made me roll my eyes and say, jesus, that guy. Whereas from Bradbury, it was like finding out that Mr. Rogers was running a sweatshop* or something.
*This is a simile, and a purely fictional, hypothetical scenario. Fred Rogers was a goddamn saint, and you better not forget it, you filthy fuckaducks.
Yeah, you're right – everybody expected that kind of thing from Heinlein, or Niven, or Pournelle, etc. but I really fell let down but good Ol' Ray.
I wrote earlier about the radio interview I heard with him. He came across as your cranky Teabagger Uncle – going on about the evils of Communism and stopping Indoctrination in the grade schools. Very disturbing.
Welp, I never did like that self-righteous prick, and now I hate him. No loss. Boring prick thought he was some kind of literary genius with his thousands of pages of crap that no one could read anyway. Everybody always skipped the crap and zeroed in on what little action there was, as I recall anyway.
Which one of them was the idiot who said he'd eat his shoe if Alice Sheldon turned out to be female (which she did, writing as James Tiptree, Jr., and he didn't)? Was it that self-righteous arrogant prick Robert Silverberg?
I don't need to. The whole fucking bunch of them were a bunch of troglodytish jerks. I was reading those prix as a ten-year-old, and I hated them then and I hate them now. They had absolutely NO LGBTQ consciousness, no clue about women's rights, no nonwhite people AT ALL except as happy little slavies for the massa, jeez! Heinlein even named his heroes things like "Whitey," fer crisake. I couldn't wait till Octavia Butler and Samuel Delaney hit the big time.
Octavia Butler was a national treasure, that's for damn sure! Delaney I'm not familiar with except I know his name.
Yes, she was. As is Sherri S. Tepper, who tackles some very powerful social issues through her fiction very well.
This is one of Delany's nonfiction works, a very interesting look at New York, well, a certain *part* of NY, anyway. I think he's best-known for Dhalgren, which I didn't like as much as I like some of his earlier stuff, but he's a writer of some standing, and talent.
Here's my cultural news. Sad to say Michael Davis of the MC5 (Blood Orange, Destroy All Monsters, etc., etc.) passed away this week. An influential bassist in a band's band. He was also the founder of Music Is Revolution, a non-profit that channeled grants to public school teachers with the purpose of engaging "at-risk students … who struggle to fit in" to be inspired by music.
No! That's very sad and a great loss. Did Patti Smith hang out with him, also?
I believe that by the time Patti and Fred were married, Mike was already out of Michigan, where Fred remained. Mike spent some years in Tucson (with a serious drug problem but still working in construction as well as music). He married a woman named Angela who apparently is responsible for his later productive years. She was the one who announced his death after a month-long hospitalization. He is survived by three sons with Angela and a daughter by a previous relationship.
Did you know that Fred and Patti's son Jackson has been working with Jack White and their daughter Jesse played piano on Patti's album latest album? The band plays on …
Very sad, but at the very least he got to do the thing he was born to do.
Did you know that Fred and Patti's son Jackson has been working with Jack White and their daughter Jesse played piano on Patti's album latest
– I didn't know that. Thanks! Will have to pick that album up.
I liked Patti's version of "Gimmee Shelter" a lot.
So, Angela Davis was married to the bass player from MC5? I did not know that.
How about we fuck our favorite authors and watch Discuss me, Ray Bradbury?
"Hey there, Sun Tzu . Come here often? What's your Sign? You must be a Libra. Love your nails! Your place or mine?"
Hey, darlin'… can I buy ya a drink?
Lookin' for Mister Goodbar?
Here he is… Wait a minute…
I've got it… you're an Italian! Hah?
Yer Jewish?
I call dibs on Joyce Carol Oates!
Damn, guess I have to pick that dork Daryl. Again. Fuckin' titwit even had a jersey made up that says, "[Study] Hall." Asshole.
If you need a fix, there's an emergency hotline you can call.
You know, enjoying *reading* a writer is very different from wanting to *fuck* that writer. I mean, I LOVE Saramago, but at his age, a fuck would probly kill the poor old man.
I'm about 300 pages into The Gulag Archipelago, Vol II. Did you know there was a Volume II, and even a Volume III? 2200 pages of human misery, in total. It's awesome.
The midnight movies are the worst, especially when the audiences fight each other for stale popcorn scraped off the floor.
I hate it when people show up dressed like zeks, get up on stage and act out the lines. And those assholes in the audience that throw snow and rusks and rattling chains all through the show. Appalling!
Do you know, I've lived here a long time, and you're the first American I've ever encountered who used the term "rusks"?
Does anyone else here know what "rusks" are?
You need to read more (historical) Dan Savage columns.
I read vol I in high school, just after it came out – I had already been a fan of Solzhenitsyn from August 1914. The story of the uprising at one of the camps – briefly successful, then crushed – was incredibly gripping. But I found I hit a saturation point. When I found out a volume II was on the way, I figured I could get the same effect, and save shelf space and money, just by reading One Day in the Life of Ivan Denisovich 150 times in a row.
I've read A Day in the Life of Ivan Denisovich about 167 times, and it keeps getting funnier every single time I read it!
I'm sure you know this one, but it always bears repeating:Oscar Wilde:One would have to have a heart of stone to read the death of little Nell without dissolving into tears…of laughter.—
I know, right? It's bewildering that Al's standup career never took off. That's the real reason the pussy went back to Россия.
Does that mean I have to reply to this post?
Don't do anything that makes you feel Uncomfortable.
highbrow, pffft.
i'm craving a 'surisburnbook' fix.
Can't we have Both?
I rather enjoyed Brideshead Revisited…
He set out to proves something about the redemptive power of Xtianity but failed utterly. The only character who settles in with the religious life is reduced to an infantile state.
Also some side-splitting gay college guy lines…
To a group of boys at his door: "I may be inverted but I'm not insatiable. Come back when you are alone."
Loved the song. And Ray Bradbury turned out some great stuff but the Martian Chronicles sucked. He was no Isaac Asimov, that's for sure. Any fans of R.A. Lafferty out there?
Fredric Brown? Cyril Kornbluth? Theodore Sturgeon? CS Moore? AE Van Vogt?
Chet Kincaid posted a link to AngryBlackLady before and I've been checking it out. Here's her latest post, a great one:
GOP Cannot Deny War On Women http://www.angryblacklady.com/2012/02/19/gop-cann...
I was researching abuse patterns and came across something interesting. My question was what do abusers think, what mind tricks do they pull to deceive themselves and the victims so that the cycle can continue? I found the best answer at Mid-Valley Women’s Crisis Service, a site dedicated to stopping abuse through education.
There are eighteen ways abusers lie to themselves, the public, and the women they mistreat. It sounded awfully familiar, and then I realized for each and every warning sign of abuse towards women, I could find a tie to the GOP’s recent activities. I’m not kidding you, so much so that I am publishing their list below, with my responses appearing in bold.
To paraphrase Borges' "Avatars of the Tortoise," abusers, like the Wall Street wizards DocOzark posted about above, would be the ones who bewitched themselves to the point of taking their own phantasmagorias for autonomous apparitions. They are so entwined in the lie that they become one with it.
^^^"Fuck me, Ray Bradbury" – Literate AND slutty. So. Freaking. Hot. (Fans self)
EDIT: Oops, thought I was replying to C R Eature.
Pull yourself together! *pant* *pant*
Er…excuse me! (runs down the hall)
Dandelion whine.
From Ray Bradbury's Wikipedia page:
In 2010, musician and comedian Rachel Bloom honored Ray Bradbury with a music video entitled "F— Me, Ray Bradbury" that was nominated for a 2011 Hugo Award in the category Best Dramatic Presentation, Short Form.[46]
Can you believe it?!
Filk me. I had no idea.
Even more awesome, however, was his reaction: "YOU WAITED UNTIL I'M NINETY? THANKS A HEAP!"
Hahaha, Robert Gibbs made a Santorum joke! "I think if you make comments like that, you make comments that are well over the line," he added. "I think the GOP race has been, in many cases, a race to the bottom."
A race to the bottom!
hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahaahazhahaha………
Arr arr
ie: the anus!!!!!!! Wha!!! Yes, i went there!!! No, not to an anus, but to the word.
The magistri wonkettae should really know better than to take weekends off; dumb, snark-worthy crap certainly doesn't.
Case in point: Now Pope Frothinator wants to get rid of public schools:
http://www.dailykos.com/story/2012/02/19/1066368/...
Man, the hits just keep coming with Pope Chastity Vengeance I, don't they?
Frothy wants "Murica to take Homer Skooling as the path to success.
That is gonna work SO FUCKIN' WELL in an international labour market that wants mathematicians, scientists, and engineers with a 21st-century skillset. Goddamn, these ignorant baboons want us back in caves, I fucking swear it.
They've been trying to get back to the Garden since just after the dawn of civilization. In their warped minds, they are either trying to take us back to Eden or pull us towards the end and the City of God/New Jerusalem. I know how these crazy bastards think.
If the government foots the bill for Cat-Lick and Protesting schools, wouldn't that make them public?
Ricky went on to say: "Hitler had public schools too. But he called them concentration camps."
Yeah, well you know who else…?
Aw, crap.
With a little extra.
Here's a wingnut who's skeptical: http://www.thenewamerican.com/culture/education/1...
That is, he thinks Santorum talks a good game, but supports public schools far too much. This asshole is looking for someone farther to the right of Santorum.
The idjuts least qualified to homeschool their kids are precisely the people who are screaming for it the loudest.
OK, just home from work and collecting my p from jukesgrrl .
I've always treated the last Wonkette story of the week as a proxy open thread, as you do.
It's 11 p.m. here in Tucson and I'm getting carpal tunnel from all the p I've bestowed today. This is the last time I promise it to every post on page 3; I'd be fucked if we HAD made it to 2,000.
A-hem!
please have a sammie dog at el guero canelo for me sometime.
In return I will eat whatever san francisco homo food you'd like from here.
Best meal I ever had in San Francisco was at Postrio.Not exactly an even trade for a Sonoran hotdog.
Well I did just meet a lovely lady who is having a birthday this week, and it's just a few blocks from my place…Sent from my iPhone
Not exactly an even trade for a Sonoran hotdog.
That's what Sherrif Babeu said.
Have any of these Republican brainiacs stopped to consider Romney will lose both of his home states (the one he grew up in and the one he actually held office in) in a general election?
Now that's impressive. Gore only lost one home state. Romney could make history.
Doesn't he own homes in 5 states? I can see him winning the primary in California, at least.
Not fucking likely. There's still a LOT of rage seething against the Mormons in this very gay state.
I was talking about the general election, though. He will certainly lose California then.
Herp? Derp? I haz teh confoozlez.
OK I think I get it now. I was responding to you. I think.
I think it's bedtime.
John Ashcroft singing his 'Let the Eagle Soar'
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=woLQI8X2R6Y
His ego must be out-of-control!
(Now I can't get that awful, wobbly vibrato out of my mind!)
If only the GOPers would do it… Jim Jones would be proud.
Get all the true wingnuts to move to Pope Rick and Pastor Ted's Godapaloozaville. No gays* or blahs welcome, women to be seen and not heard, free flavor-aid for all.
* Pastor Ted says it wasn't him, it was the devil
Pastor Ted lies like a fucking rug.
WWJJD: What Would Jim Jones Do.
I see that Rick, who has a daughter receiving expensive care on our dime, wants to dictate what OTHER people should get from their insurance. http://www.rawstory.com/rs/2012/02/19/santorum-pr...
Santorum's mother was/is probably a very nice lady. But if she had had prenatal testing when she was PG with little Ricky she probably would have chosen to get rid of all of this because it was probably obvious, even early in utero, that he had half a brain and his foot would always be in his mouth. He has managed to live up to that potential.
Ha! And I'll bet his thumb was up his ass, too.
*Both.*
In a related story, Santorum vowed to cut off all funding for dirtypillow cancer research, noting that all of his advisors agree that dirtypillow cancer is mostly caused by loose women having abortions for fun.
In related news, China is lying about their economic statistics. If you don't believe me, you can hear it from the guy who made a mint shorting enron and tyco.
http://money.cnn.com/2012/02/16/news/economy/chin...
Yeah, well, everybody does that to some extent, don't they? I mean, don't you just discount, say, 20% for growth in telling?
The more news I read, the more crazy from Santorum I see, re his remark that "Obama elevates Earth above man."
He's obviously trying to out shit-for-brains Palin so she won't have an opening to get back in and beat his scrawny ass.
AND FURTHERMORE I am getting sick-up and fed with the theology. If the country is so deluded and gullible that this horseshit is considered more rational than science then we are truly finished as a world power or an educated society. Nice job, neo-cons. Thanks a pantload.
All this chit-chat about how all our clickeys mean more Ameros for Wonkette made me think (an unusual event in and of itself). Does anyone know, do Kirsten and Newell get paid by the word or by the view or whut? I mean, this thread of Kirsten's has 1376 comments and 9020 views at the moment, while the previous post by Jim Newell has only 158 comments and 3931 views. Is Newell going to have to feed his kids expired rat dick jerky for dinner this week while Kirsten is boozing it up with one percent in the back seat of her limo tonight? Should we be the sochuliszts we claim to be and stop commenting here and go back to previous threads to comment there?
They divide everything equally, as Wonkette is an anarcho-syndicalist commune.
Uhn-huh, yeah. But why do I get the feeling we're actually commenting at Wonkette Farm, where all the animals are equal, only some are more equal than others?
Sssshhhhhh! Don't blow the Cover Story!
Stay Mum & Kirsten will slide you a few Whore Diamonds. On the QT.
Hmmm.. Sliding a few Whore Diamonds. Sounds Sex-a-a-a-ay!
And I thought I was a fuckin' neurotic who worried too much.
No, you're fine.
What's that lump? Is it new?
WHUT LUMP? WHERE?
Jezus, you bastard!
Liberals…always worried about being fair!
*Some* of us are worried about being *dark.*
Also, is "raped too much" the new meme?
I am planning on voting for Santorum in the MI primary…let the hilarity begin!
Hahahhaha!!!!
The last post on Friday night has become the Wonkette weekend meeting place.
Happily skipping Li'l Ricky Santorum's latest bout of public insanity, I just watched the documentary "Casino Jack and the United States of Money."
This is first-rate, and I highly recommend it! The cast of characters hasn't changed enough – here are Ole Newt, Grover Norquist, JD Hayworth (now a talkshow host on HateTalk 560 here in the SF Bay Area), et. al.
This documentary is as timely as when it first came out!
Thank you! Will put on Netflix list.
MB:
Please post a review once you've seen it. We need to spread the word!
Will do, dood!
And it's on Netflix streaming (just pushed "play".)
DR:
Please tell us what you thought of it. Jack'emup N. Rip'emOff has written a book – both documentary and book have not gotten enough ink.
Sorry, Yahoo, but your headline needs work.
Part of the Santorum surge can be accounted for by disaffected supporters of Newt Gingrich, the former speaker of the U.S. House of Representatives.
Gingrich Supporters Pull Out, Santorum Surges!
~
I'll bet you they get 2,000 comments for that.
24,510 comments
And climbing…
~
"24,503 comments"
its a choice to be gay and Rick Santorum is right they want special privilages and we wont give that to them
Talk softly, and carry a " HAMMER & SICKLE
Baa Baa black sheep, have you any wool? Yes sir, yes sir, many states full!
Hey, Rick seems like an alright guy in my book. He`s gotta be better than the monkey we have in there now? huh?
It's not The Wonkete, is it?
Jezus. It's not even the turds the Wonketteers flush on a reasonably regular basis. What kind of troll droppings did you track back here, Fukui-chan?
I threw them off by posting as "user-of-owls" and being unbearably charming and witty. They'll be hiding under their beds for the next hour or so.
Oh, and nearly 27,000 now.
Bush ended 2 recessions
Obama extended his, forever
Crisis is useful, why end it
This has to be a troll. Has to be a troll. I'd hate to think that there were that many pig fucking ignorant or willfully blinded people out there.
Wow. Bush ended two recessions? Haven't we been in one long recession since, shit, 2001?
That's the Clinton recession, apparently.
Anyone that's a fan of Bluegrass or old-time music, there was a memorial concert for Warren Hellman today in San Francisco, streamed here: http://www.warrenhellman.org/warren/stream.shtml
Yup. A loving memorial.
Let's say that Newt, Frothy, and Dog Botherer all crater. Is there anyone else that can step in to fun in the general election. Someone above mentioned Jeb Bush…anyone else?
Duh (And I mean that in every possible sense): Grifterella.
Sure…but the Goddess of Grift…the Doyenne of Duplicity…the Mavin of Mendacity would be even less electable than the other three.—
Governor Sandwiches, Jindal, Scott Walker, Sharron Angle, that batshit woman from Arizona – hell, I expect Ruck Purreh and Miche1e Bachmann are now thinking they pulled out too early.
If only their fathers had pulled out too early.
"Pull out, Dick, like yer FAWTHER should've!"
Bob Dole?
Please gawd you better be fuckin' kidding me. Jezus that old grump makes Walnuts look congenial.
I heard he died and had to be buried in an extra tall casket.—
"Call a mortician if you experience an erection lasting over 150 years."
The Bench is pretty thin this year, isn't it? I think Jeb's too smart to get involved in this year's Republican Charge of the Light Brigade. He's betting on 2016, I think. The Party will probably let the Presidential campaign crash and burn with whatever nightmare candidate the Base puts up and concentrate this year on minimizing the damage in the House and trying to take the Senate.
I keep wavering about Jeb. Part of me thinks that he doesn't have much to go on, what with being married to a Latina and having those "little brown babies" his father brags on. I mean, talk about a rock and a hard place! The GOPrix would rather eat ground glass with hot sauce from bhoot jolokia than let Latinos live, and I expect Columba will give Jeb an earful if he says half of what they want him to. Plus, he's risking too much. If he loses to the N*****, he's shot his wad and can't try again in 2016. And yet, and yet, and yet …
Oh, I think Jeb's in the running but definitely not this year. Whoever does emerge from the Primary will be far too damaged and/or Weird as to be wholly unacceptable to the General Electorate. Jeb would have to be utterly deranged or under death threat to run this year.
You should not underestimate the power of the Republican Media Industrial Complex. It's the most complex, effective propaganda machine in human history.
After all, it took a Wealthy New England party animal son of a Congressman Legacy accepted Yalie cheerleader and flying drunkard for the Air National Guard and turned him into a brilliant, straight-shootin' rough n' tumble Texas Cowboy Presidential Demigod.
They can Finesse the Latino thing in their spare time.
yes.
strategery.
What awful rotten fucks those people are! And so intimately intertwined with all that is evil in this country.
I can't believe I missed this comment earlier, and Lord knows why I'm back here….but damn! That completely nails it, doesn't it? That and a hundred other of the big lies people have swallowed instead of spitting.
Jeb's the one his dad thought would be President. There's the famous quote from Dubya about his parents being more upset that Jeb lost his bid for governor in Florida than being happy Dubya won Texas' governorship.
I remember that. Damn, that family's almost as fucked up as mine.
I honestly don't get how anyone thinks that Dubya didn't destroy the Bush family name for at least an entire generation. Jeb can run now or later; I know we have short memories, but they aren't short enough to forget Dubya. He better change his name if he runs. 'Cause America ain't electin' no "Jeb" and we're not electing another Bush, so presidential candidate "John Ellis" it'll have to be if he even has any hope of getting to the presidency.
I don't care if he's the "smart" Bush; that's like being Best in Show at an ugly dogs contest.
I can see daughter Jenna kicking alcohol in about 20 years, getting Jesusfied, and running.
Yeah, I could totally see a genration beneath the children being in congress or something, but Dubya's generation of Bushes are screwed. Jeb should be pissed at his brother if he already hasn't been. Everyone thought it was Jeb that was going to run after his daddy, anyway, and George Jr. ruined that, forever.
I'd shoot myself in the head before I pulled the lever on anything resembling the Bush name, forever.
That said, the Republican "Mighty Wurlitzer", combined with a willingly credulous electorate just might pull it off. I've seen too many stupid and disturbing things happen in Politics to be willing to rule anything out, no matter how awful.
How did we/they not see Daddy Bush's flaws, considering his own Daddy's issues?
I suspect much of Rick Purreh's spectacular crash in national politics may fairly be laid at Dumbya's feet. He's given the whole nation the running trots at the mere sound of a Texass accent.
But Jebbie doesn't have that phony Texass accent that Dubya has.
He'll run in 2016. Even Jeb has better sense than to run before the mess his brother made has been all cleaned up. By 2016 our short attention spans will have forgotten all about that.
Yeah, that's my analysis too, for what that's worth. Who else do they have now? The ones they're bringing up in the Farm team, like the "Brilliant" Paul Ryan, will be seen to have a dramatically antique and discredited philosophy come 2016 Others are too Theocratic and Too Dim (lookin' at you, Christie).
Lyndon LaRouche? Nancy Reagan or Phyllis Schlafly (for the women's vote)? John Glenn? George HW Bush? Professor Irwin Corey?
Wasn't he a demon rat?
So was St. Ronald of California once upon a time.
Oh yeah, those Reagan Democrats I keep hearing are gonna vote for whatever shitsack the GOP fields…
If they're not all already dead, they will be come 2016. Or are you talking 'bout 2012?
I was talking about 2012. And some folks are convinced that Reagan was dead most if not all of the eight years he was in office, so, like , precedent!
Well, YEAH, from the *neck up,* but we're talkin' Republicans here, so does that *count*?
RON PAUL!11!!!11
Sorry, I can not even attempt to make a joke that ridiculous.
Screw Jeb Bush (not literally, pleeze, Jeebus)! Everybody still loves Laura Bush, don't they? (DEFINITELY NSFW).
You KNOW what I'm going to say, right? RIGHT?
Your karma, dood. It R Teh Bad.
There will be an emergency squad sent to bribe Chris Christie with chocolate chip cookies as soon as the four shit-stains are history (I include St. Paul). Another group of mercenaries will seek the turd, er…third Bush to take one for the party. And of course Brunhilde Palin will stride forth, singing "Kill da wabbit! Kill da wabbit!" No, it won't get any better; remember that this is the Republican first team we are seeing now. Their bench sucks, too.
Michael Dukakis.
Tanks for making me laugh.
There's always that megachurch pastor. The one who hasn't been caught sucking dick. You know, the one who doesn't have a weight problem. What's his name?
Reverend Nemo.
Joe Lieberman; he's a Republican, right?
There isn't anyone else. At this point it's too late to get on the ballot in enough states to win enough delegates, which would just mean more chaos at the convention anyway. And a brokered convention is a pipe dream, it ain't happening. The GOP is just going to take its lumps with one of the four geniuses still running while trying to grab the Senate and gum up the works further until 2016. Dear God I just made myself ill thinking about an all-GOP Congress run by these twits for four years.
Needle-drop my broken record about how we should have been taking care of business on that since before the 2010 midterms. If Obama wins but we lose both chambers of Congress, the game's over.
Hey, you're telling Noah about the Flood. I just hope the DNC is paying as much attention.
This really is the nightmare I think about.
Duh, John Bolton and Marco Rubio, in no particular order.
Mustache rides 25 cents, also.
BRAAAAAAAAIN BLEEEEEEEEACH!!!!
Now you know how I feel whenever you get me with one of those DISGUSTING LINKIES!!!
The Republicans are in the middle of finding out whether batshit can win the Presidency. The wingnuts won't believe they can't until they get their faces ground in it. There is no "sane" potential candidate out there who will be acceptable to the batshit base for 2012.
If Santorum gets the nomination and loses, there will be a huge battle to restore a faux-moderate wing to their party in time for 2016. If Mittens wins the nomination, he can either continue his phony wingnut pose, which the batshit despises and the sane people find bizarre, or strike a phony "moderate" pose, which will enrage the batshits and demonstrate his mendacity to the sane.
If you're an old-fashioned, fiscally Satanic/socially-"whatever" Conservative, I would think you would want Santorum to get the nomination, so that the batshits you foolishly enabled will flame out. That's better than having the guy you really wanted (Mitt) make a fool of your faction.
They're between a rock and a hard place, but I won't trust that they're out of action till they're squashed to death like a cockroach right in front of my eyes.
If they got to a brokered convention, they could set Palin up for failure. Sure, it would be a total loss for them in the short term but setting her up to fail would be a pretty nasty way to beat down the crazee and set up 2016 for a better establishment candidate.
Wow. *I* was sick and twisted enough to think of that, but I didn't think anyone *else* was.
Dood.
Now THAT'S a compliment!
Watch the Republicans in congress if they try for an amendment to the natural born rule. Paving the way for Aaarnold. Compared to the rest of the field, he looks positively reasonable.
Gaaah!
Arnold lost 'em when he took 'em to task about their bullshit attitudes towards global warming. Even if he does think gay marriage should be between a man and a woman.
There's a lot of smarties here, anyone wanna take a crack at improving my "US-China "Free Trade" is like a Canal Lock" analogy?
I originally had water pump spigots in there, but was unsure what they're analogous to, and if they added another layer of unnecessary complexity (I'm trying to appeal to a broad audience of drooling ignoramuses, like myself).
Any constructive ideas welcome, including suggestions that the analogy is invalid (but give a reason why, please). This is just for "fun", as fun as Free Trade analogies are!
Stick jesus fighting a kraken in there, with the kraken labelled "currency manipulation".
Also, you misspelled "jerbs"
I like the kraken idea. What do I label jesus? "Barack Obama"?
Edit: It just occurred to me that "obama jeebus" would work for fighting the "currency manipulation kraken" if it were just a "lip service jeebus". How do I make one of those?
How about jebus in a tricorne hat labelled "IMF"?
Do you think it would be appropriate to work this in there as "American Consumerism"?
OT But these two are the poster children for the use of contraceptives, I pray they do not spawn.
http://www.nytimes.com/2012/02/19/fashion/wedding...
How sweet! The spawn of the neocons are assured a lovely, fact-free future with guaranteed success.
Lousy photo. There were no silver spoons visible.
Those are stuck up their asses. You know, so the Poorz don't see them and suffer that unpatriotic envy and class hatred that is bein' incitingated by those who would hate and defeat this country within her internal borders of strength, also.
Ugh. Kristol genes combining with Continetti genes = just what the world needs more of…total morons.
If I were the daughter, I would get real nervous if dad predicted the marriage would work out.
Ewwwwwwww. That's all I got; I'm overcome with nausea.
(Pats the Jukesgrrl's back) There, there, dear. Let it all out. You'll feel so much better when you've barfed up the *memory* of these pathetic fucks.
Every time I purge one of their “ideas,” another takes its place.Had you told me a year ago a presidential candidate would come out AGAINST pre-natal care, I wouldn't have believed it.Yet … there it is.BARF.
*Real* friends hold your hair while you puke your guts out, honey. Don't you worry. I'm right here beside you.
Hey, we might luck out – he might be gay, she might be his beard, and they might have 23 foster chilluns without the five biological ones to continue the lineage.
Yeah, well, Marcus is gayGAYGAYGAYGAY and Michele's his beard, and you see how well THAT worked out?
What can we say?
"Secondary education", huh? Well, #1, her little GOP is going to put an end to teachers and education- and educated teachers- so she's obviously a fool, and, #2- What a snob. Too smart for middle school? She hasn't got the balls, humor, or open-mind to survive the little motherfuckers. It's likely she'd quit high-school, too, although I suspect she will seek the surreal atmosphere of a private school and avoid the real world, real problems, and the 99% altogether.
As for him-well, they deserve each other. His book titles say it all, really. He couldn't just be a dentist? Media took down Palin, those fuckin' libs. Yeah, that's it! America didn't realize that she's a jerk, instead the Media conspired to take her out of the picture. Once the GOP becomes a national laughingstock his resume won't be so cute.
As for them breeding, judging from the photo I'm not sure that either one is equipped with the proper chromosomes. If I'm wrong that baby's gonna be some ugly.
That was fun!
Love is a many squalid thing.
The Idiotocracy is Nigh.
Talk about mass suicide, can you imagine the pillow talk between those two fartsacks?
His mother is a reading specialist for Fairfax County Public Schools in Fairfax, Va. His father is a contract specialist at the General Services Administration in Washington.
That's some real conservative cred. A functionary for the GSA and a public school employee. Wait unitl the Kristols hear about this!
Are you kidding if they're conservative the only reason they got married is it's been 4 months since her last visit from Aunt Flo.
I wuz gonna say sump'n about how I would bet good money those two never did the horizontal samba, until I realized that you never accused *him* of impregnating *her.* Sigh.
Time to head home and pick-up the Dobro.
Favorite instrument. Too bad I don't have the talent to play one. After listening to either Jerry Douglas or Billy Cardine, I just don't even want to pick up my flat top box anymore.
Very tastey links Biff. Thanks for those.
Both Jerry & Billy were playing square necks. Mine is a round neck & I play it like a guitar, sorta, rather than like a pedal steel. Never learned to use finger picks, but I keep the nails on my index, ring, and Johnny Cash fingers are kinda long when I'm finger pickin'. Jerry is totally amazing.
Ah, you play it like Critter Fuqua then?
"Hints at Mass GOP Suicide"
This is really unpeaceful, but I'll go ahead anyway.
The old National Lampoon had a cartoon by I think Tom Cheney where a white guy in South Carolina was holding a black guy hostage. The cops were laughing so hard they were crying. The caption was, "And here's the best part: He wants a million dollars and a plane ticket to escape".
The phrase "Mass GOP suicide" has that effect on me.
Latest in Romney-bashing and documenting the self-vapidization and self-enslavement of a once-free press.
Nod to front-pager Kay from Balloon Juice:
The Good News: A webpage actually went to some experts on the Detroit bailouts (almost all of them self-described conservatives) and asked them about Romneys message in his op-eds and speeches. Not surprisingly, they viewed it as dishonest, shameful, pandering garbage without even the slightest resemblance to reality, and further that this could be seen to be so by anyone who took the time to look up simple facts.
The Bad News: Was this the New York Times? The Washington Post? The Manchester Union Leader? Women's Wear Daily? ESPN the Magazine? Guns & Ammo? Soldier of Fortune? Modern Bride? [Yes, yes, I know the Guardian does things like this, but I'm talking American media here.] No, it was the site that Fox News blatherskites go when they want to shake their heads and say "man, those guys are right-wing crazies". Yes, I'm talking Newsmax. Somehow this piece slipped through (or perhaps it signals an anti-Romney edict from the editor):
http://www.newsmax.com/Politics/Romney-Detroit-au...
Just imagine how much less deranged politics would be in this country if simple information that even the wingnut's wingnuts can easily obtain were judged to be "fit to print" by the newspaper that self-describes as printing all news meeting that description.
Goddamn, it's Bob Lutz laying into Romney. The "global warming is a crock of shit and hybrids don't make sense" guy.
Some choice quotes from Lutz:
"It's once again the fiction that 'Ah, we didn't need the government and this could have been a privately run bankruptcy with the normal Chapter 11,'" said Lutz, a Republican. "What these people always deliberately forget is there was no money. Nobody had any money."
"This is the lie that gets told again and again and again — government intervention wasn't necessary, that this was creeping socialism, that Obama wants to take over or give a sweetheart deal to the unions," Lutz told Reuters.
That's pretty damn strong stuff from Lutz. He's calling the Republicans straight-up liars.
So…just how is it that Bob Lutz suddenly has a problem with telling a lie again and again and again? That's practically his fucking job description. Verbatim.
I gotta read this thing. Tomorrow, over coffee and evil laughter.
Wow, I actually read a Newsmax article. This is the end of the world.
But did you click on the one weird spice that cures diabetes ad?
They do know their audience.
Diabetes Spice? Was she the one they kicked out of the group for being overweight? Or will that be Sarah Palin after she gives up "running" for President and puts on 100 pounds?
Ah, my mistake! Sorry, gang, especially anyone who actually read a Newsmax article, putting their immortal souls in peril. I somehow missed the little notice at the bottom – it's a Reuters article from the newswire that Newsmax picked up and printed.
So I guess nobody among the American media actually took the time to do this basic journalistic legwork. And even after some foreigner-types did the basic journalistic legwork and made the fruits available for a fee so reasonable that even marginal lunatic sites kept afloat by diabetes-curing-herb ads and wingnut welfare can afford it, no one but the marginal pick it up.
So does this mean Axelrod gets to start calling Mitt "weird" again?
this is my fervent hope.
Mebbe the Republicans could run Representative Jeanine Notter (R-Obviously) for President.
Obviously, you misspelled her name. It's *Nutter.* And if it ain't, it sure as fuck oughta be.
Snot Otter?
You know who else lost their homo state?
(Hint: it wasn't Ralph Nader.)
# 1545. 'Night!
i've been over raising hell at the economist.
what's GOING ON??!?!?
Quest for 2000!
I think we're going to miss, but our aim is laudable and our intentions are pure.
edit: and are the Economist comment bits any cop? I've a subscription, but I've never checked out the online presence.
I know I'm giving up. I dished out as much p as a grrl can in one night.
C'mon girl – get some self-respect and stop sharing your p with every greasy Lothario who posts at you. Here's a tip: take your thumb and your mouse-clicking finger, and hold an asprin between them.
Jukesgrrl and the Greasy Lotharios.
This will not get nearly as many views/upfists that it deserves.
I made a commitment, I kept it, and we achieved our goal.Just like Foster Friess thinks he's doing for Santorum.
Clearly you didn't drink enough beer then.
1585 comments? Are you freakin' kidding me?? How in hell do I keep up with that?
Get in there and start swimming dood!
all of em, katie?
I gave up after about the first 1200 and just started picking and choosing.
Cheat! I read them ALL! (of course, now I have a headache, my partners both hate me, and the cats have wrecked the house, but hey)
Random question for page 4 on the quest:
Does anyone know Masaharu Morimoto's golf handicap? The internet doesn't seem to know.
edit: there's five bucks riding on this. I'm guessing fifteen or lower.
golf?
wow. this thread is OUT OF CONTROL
Golf handicaps
My golf handicap is that I am utterly uninterested in golf. It's really held me back from success in the game.
What's golf?
I believe being interested in golf is evidence of some sort of mental handicap.
" crusty gym sock like Rick Santorum"
"rectangular dildo mitt mormoney"
it's worth coming just for those jams….BWaahahahahahahahahahahahaha(:
is it some great accomplishment- 2000 comments- only california can do it– I'm going to sleep soon. ftw
I'm doing all I can over here…I think I need some macros for "too soon" and "all of 'em, katie?"
Sorry, we don't serve macros.
The great thing about macros is you can eat them during Passover. Oh, no, that's macaroons. Never mind.
But what about macros and cheese? Is that a blah thing?
Chad pergram at fox news is a goddamn pussy . Period. He's worried that a random gunman in the Capitol could hit hundreds of people? Seriously ?
The last mass shooting I was involved with, the perp could only hit 8 people before eating the shotgun. And let's be honest here, hipster houses don't have Capitol level security. This guy.
This guy. This f-ing guy.
http://politics.blogs.foxnews.com/2012/02/19/ridg...
Excellent comments on that one:
Isn't this the same thing that william ayers did? So, technically, obama should assign him a position in the White House.
People who want to kiII DNC presidents are not nearly as crazy as those who want to kiII GOP presidents. Personally, I'd just like to see Bozo locked up or deported!
Why is this a big catch? A lot of Americans want to do this themselves. This president is an idiot. (6 people liked this)
The real terrorist are in the BIackhouse….. (10 people liked this)
At one time I thought having Lyin' Joe Biden was perfect life insurance for "our first half-black president," but even poor old crazy Joe is starting to look better and better after 3 years of the King and Queen of Chicago. Reis Kash – Springfield, Oregon
Does the Secret Service need to know that Reis Kash of Springfield OR thinks assassinating the President of the United States is "starting to look better and better"?
Yes, I b'leev they do.
Damn, these motherfuckers are inSANE.
Huh
Why are these people who are so disrespectful of this wonderful country allowed to live in it? I just don't understand why they want to be here unless they are evil. I don't like Iran but I don't plan on moving there to try to bomb the leadership and cause death and destruction.
That's what drones are for, kiddo.
It's sometimes actually painful to me to read this shit. These are the same people who cheered the not-quite-a-war in VietNam. The napalming of children and the destruction of hospitals and the maiming and killing of the sick and elderly to prop up in power a rotten dictator whose sole claim to fame was that he was a Catholic in a Buddhist nation.
They are beyond ignorant, and willfully so.
Page 4 is for suckers!
Not Page Six? Damn!
I checked Page 3 – where are the chicks?
I know, right?
or for the insomniac.
And how many licks does it take to get to the center of a sucker?
all of 'em, katie?
Too soon.
That's What She Said.
Depends on how many a homophobic Republican pays for, I guess.
Thanks, I think I tripped over my brainstem there.
I don't know how you do it, dood. I've gotten to where I can hardly stand to be around humans except in virtualspace.
That's the thing–I *don't* do it. That was once, 10 years ago. I do attend two much smaller festivals annually, though.
Sniff! I guess this means we'll *never* meet up IRL.
Which ain't so bad come to think of it. Thanks for those two clips. Great technique.
In the old days, the last Friday post for the weekend would have had a picture of Sara Benincasa. Nowadays, 2000 of us are posting beneath a picture of demon sheep. Coincidence?
On weekends nowadays we have both hands free?
That's a bingo.
The Sheepocalypse is upon us!
Better than the Santorocalypse.
I dare anyone to actually pronounce that on the first try…
Oh ewe.—
ewe lie!
Ever been to Wyoming or NW Colorado? There's 10 pictures of sheep taped up to bedroom walls for every picture of hotness like Sara.
So … when are you sending us pikkies of your bedroom walls, dood?
Ohhhhh man. Tornados! ON THE SUN!!
Weather-obsession. Solar astromomy. Magnetohydrodymanics.
Geekery Saturation Point.
http://spaceweather.com/
I like to keep track of the CME's that bring us aurora.
(also, I have a 10" Meade reflector)
Hey! that's my bookmark! Insanely jealous of your Meade, btw.
Here's my Favoritest Weather site ever.
It would be among my faves too, if it wasn't wrong every freaking day.
What it lacks in predictive utility, it makes up in commentary:
"It's a tit-bit nipplie."
It lies.
And also, a shout out to our Hard Working Government Scientists: NOAA/NWS Space Weather
And to scientists everywhere.
Tornados? On the Sun? If only Dubya were Preznit still, he'd send FEMA to mop up after the tornados. But only after dark, when it wouldn't be so hot.
Sol: I TOLD YOU I WAS HARDCORE.
"that the Republican party is completely screwed after years of polarizing themselves so far into the corner that all they can do is stand in it and scream?" Now, the editors here, who are drunk mostly, have figured this fact out and put it quite nicely. The msm however, continues to treat every batshit crazy position the gop comes up with as to be compared equally to dem positions. Someone tell them, the gop has left the fuckin' building.
It's the commenters who do all the drinking here, not the editors.
"Curly light bulbs, nazi plot? You decide."
Holy shit! I go away for the weekend and a blog breaks out! Now I have to read all these…
No, you really don't. Someone will do it for you. It's a big Internet.
There's only one?
No. Everybody knows that. That's why they are called "Teh InterNETZ."
Also, too.
I left work on Friday to a nice, little post with less than a 100 comments, and come back to chaos and mayhem! Nice work, everyone.
So now I gotta pay attention on weekends, too? Well that's just great.
I checked in last night just for the hell of it and realized I needed to up my Wonkette time.
Can I say [REDARCTED] on page 4?
On page 4, noone can hear you scream.
Hahaha..that's a beauty.
Just as long as you spell it "retaded".
wow, this post really is gonna get 2k comments, isn't it?
There's nothing new to comment on! Did Newell get arrested over the weekend?
well our beloved overlords seem to be celebrating president's day.
whatcha gonna do?
All of 'em, Katie?, apparently.Or hit the gym…Sent from my iPhone
Hey gang! Let's put on a show!!!!
I'll bring Mickey Rooney if you bring the old boards and hammers and nails!
Will it involve nekky pikkies?
I really hope so. After all, this is the internet!
No, it won't.
Oh, shoot, what am I doing?
It *almost* did, but now all these tarty little sluts have run off to the NEW post. Attention span of marmots, I swear.
Hey now, Dr. Paul was born in 1720.
I thought that was when he finished his medical training at Barber College. Leeches, and bleeding, and such.
It didn't cost nearly as much for a doctor visit in the 1700s, because: no Medicare.
medicare would have been the slavery of the 1700s if it weren't for, um, slavery.
Did you ever see that John Adams HBO miniseries where one of his daughters got the 18th century version of mastectomy? Yikes!
"…they had to cut and sew people like garments."
Leonard "Bones" McCoy
And everyone had chickens/yardbirds, right?
CLAPTON IS GOD LIBEL!!1!
"I am endeavoring, ma'am, to construct a mnemonic memory circuit using stone knives and bearskins."
That is my favouritest line.
Happy President's Day.
Mark Roof !!
Bark Woof.
Mister, we could use a man like Daniel Flintstone again…
That's "Fred" to you, bub.
The President's Weird, he's got a burgundy beard, it's a __________ (?)
I was never quite clear – is this All Presidents' Day or just Some Presidents' Day? And if it's All Presidents' Day, what was yesterday?
Technically it's still recognized as Washington's Birthday by the federal government, but calling it President's Day is better for selling furniture and TVs for some reason.
http://www.snopes.com/holidays/presidents/preside...
Sunday?
Yay! Happy Mr. Obama's day to you too!
Yeah, I'm just in a mood this morning. It's fuckin' cold here.
This comment deleted by The Central Scrutinizer.
The Whistleblower Neutralization Zone is for dissidents & rabble-rousers only. If you gotta UNkick some choad, or if you've just got some shit you need to UNdisturb, go to the Whistleblower Neutralization Zone. You'll love it! It's a folkway of lifestyle-choice!
NY Cardinal Dolan's ring is too tight after pasta indulgence during Vatican trip: http://www.nypost.com/p/news/local/dolan_doing_bi...
If your fat finger lasts more than four hours, call a priest.
Not as a result of too much time in the rectory?
john mccain and miss lindsey are on their way to the middle east stirring up war talk.
Let me guess, they want to cash out their oil futures nice and high.
Honeymoon?
Man, those fuckers have NO shame.
A UnivTx poll has Santorum getting 45% of GOP votes, Newter w/18%, RomBot w/16%, Homeboy Paul w/14% and dark horse 'Another Republican' with 6%: http://www.texastribune.org/texas-politics/2012-p...
'Another Republican' – is that supposed to be Obama?
Possibly our govennor, Rick Perry!
Ah ha ha ha. So very witty.
Or not, as the case may be.
Santorum's gotten all over everyone?
The only horse that was at all dark left the race weeks ago.
Which horse would that be, love? The only *dark* horse I know of is my President.
No worries. Jim Henson did this poll. Like the Muppets have a CHANCE.
Just kidding. The election's still some ways off, and I'm changing my av to Santorum. Let's hope it works.
The Wonkerati are just teasing us now, aren't they?
Our OverLayne Ken Lord is getting the big laughs – all these clicks at teh Wonkette, and he's not having to pay anyone to write stuff for him. Share the wealth, Layne!
T
You know who else had a National Holiday all to themselves?
The Omega Man?
Arbor's?
Alfred E. Neuman?
Mothers?
July 4?
Jefferson Davis and Rob't E. Lee?
Punxsutawney Phil?
I have this inescapable feeling that Ol' Phil is just our very own flamingpdog in disguise.
Pol Pot?
Doc's girlfriend/number 1 'ho' of the moment?
Hey! Why you call Doc's lady friend a ho? I understand she's a nice lady and he's all in love wiv her and stuff!
Bad little rodent!
Me? Well, OK, me and MLK.
We share a birfday. Fer realz.
Who killed the Wonkette? Was there a party last night that we were not invited to?
Perhaps the editors are still doing mimosa "keg stands".
Is a mimosa still an acceptable morning drink if it's just a splash of Tang and the champagne is cheap scotch?
The breakfast of Astronauts!
Dood! Does Tang even GO with cheap scotch?
And when the only open thread has gotten impossibly big and unmanageable too.
Fuck it, we'll do it live. Also.
WE'LL DO IT LIVE!
Twas the night before President's Day
And all thru the net
Not a candidate was stirring
Not even the Newt
Well, OK there is this – 1. Can't be Jim DeMint – he's too wingnut to say anything that quasi-rational. My money is on the other, Senior Senator from my fine state, Miss Lindsey.
2. Is it just me or is Santorum starting to both sound and look like Father Couglin?
He's sounding like crazy asshat churchguy.
There's a rumor that Kirsten will buy everyone sampler bags of drugs, alcohol and Chocolate covered dildos if this post gets to 2000. True?
Yes!
WOOHOO! Get posting you Preverts! I'm running out of alcohol.
Where are the articles? Aren't here supposed to be articles?
And not just the ones of faith.
Australia Asks Again: Did a Dingo Kill the Baby? http://abcnews.go.com/International/wireStory/aus...
Whenever anyone threatens to electrocute Republicans with an anal probe, the Wonketteers are all on board. I think its called motivating the based.
Oh they're asking for it anyway.
That's " Motivating Debased".
‘My Child Was Not Stillborn!’: Rick Santorum Gets Heated With Bob Schieffer During Prenatal Testing Discussion
“The bottom line is that a lot of prenatal tests are done to identify deformities in utero and the customary procedure is to encourage abortion,” Santorum said. Clarifying that he had only referred to prenatal testing, not prenatal care, added: “We’re talking about specifically prenatal testing and specifically amniocentesis, which is a — which is a procedure that creates a risk of miscarriage when you have it and is done for the purposes of identifying maladies of a child in the womb, which in many cases, in fact, most cases, physicians recommend, particularly if there’s a problem, recommend abortion.” http://www.theblaze.com/stories/my-child-was-not-...
My child was not stillborn! He would have been stillborn, but we induced labor to get him out fast enough for a birth certificate before he died. I mean, nobody's going to spend the night cuddling and singing hymns and lullabies to a stillborn fetus. That'd be just weird.
Anything too weird for Santorum? His pronouncements – on global warming, Christianity, Obama, etc. – are getting more bizarre by the minute. How can anyone take this man seriously.
With all due respect, we have a presidential election here in April and there are half a dozen candidates, some of whom are odd, but nothing that measures up to Santorum and Gingrich, not to peak of Bachmann, Perry, Cain and the rest. A Romney-like candidate would perhaps have a chance to come third or fourth.
America, Fuck Yeah!
A Romney-like candidate would perhaps have a chance to come third or fourth
Damn smug Europeans.
He's lying. The mother had a fever and a uterine infection, probably resulting from the fetus rotting inside her. They performed an abortion to save her life. That child wasn't stillborn only because it wasn't a child — it was a rotting corpse.
Need a reason to start drinking early?
Leaders with Ginni Thomas: Andrew Breitbart http://dailycaller.com/2012/02/19/leaders-with-gi...
chascates, you should hit Ken for some Editor centavos.
I'm just trying to avoid leaving the house. The cows and pigs need feed but I need snark more.
ThatThose CuntsI couldn't leave the dailycaller without leaving a little post with a link to a beloved Wonkette photo.
Awesome.
Stranger Danger!!
Riley! Show us on the dolly where the BAD MAN touched you!
ETA: Riley looks like Andrew has put a paw on his Waggaman, if you get my drift. And being the soused and shiftless bastids you are, I'm sure you do.
"Driven by a desire to expose media bias and fight political correctness in the public square"
Um, she mistyped "lie and slander all ideological opponents and be a giant fucking racist in the process".
Um, she mistyped "
lie and slander all ideological opponents and be a giant fucking racist in the processBehave like a festering boil on the anus of public discourse."FIFY, NNTT
And we can always post on Palin's Facebook wall. Currently:
Andrea Baker: Does anybody really believe Obama's approval rating is 45% according to FOX? I do not believe that at all.
Greg Dugdale: I believe that fox is another extension of soros evil hands….aka…DONT BUY A WORD OF IT OTHER THAN LOOK WHOS GETTING OUT!!
Tim McChesney: It's all smoke and mirrors ….I just can't believe there is this many spiritually void people here ….but if America can vote Clinton in twice then there is a real bad trend I'm afraid ….I know , I know Bush wasn't much better BUT he was much better them the alternatives
Do we have to write in crayon also?
He wasn't much better but he was much better? Yabadabadoo? Humen-ah humen-ah hummin'?
Is there some kind of filter script over on her Wall, you know, you must have an IQ of < 90 in order to comment here?
The current meme threading its way through the Press Bigwigs is that Bamz is Taking Santorum Seriously because he now has a clear path to the nomination, i.e., by beating the shit out of Romney in various states. We can laugh all we want about "spreading Santorum" but the scary thing is that there are enough wingnuts and krazies in this country to elect him.
Robert Heinlein predicted something like this happening in his Future History timeline: in 2012, the US would elect a religious demagogue as President and the country falls into chaos as it is ruled by a series of "Prophets". http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/If_This_Goes_On%E2%8...
Santorum = Nehemiah Shudder
There's definitely enough *crazies* to elect him. But it's hard to see how he could get the requisite 1174 electoral votes. All on a sudden, the Founding Fathers are looking a little smarter than I usually give them credit for.
I for one am glad our fine nation's Blue states of the east and west coasts are firmly clenched in it's electoral votetude to keep Santorum from bursting forth from the republic's anus, which I could at best guess is somewhere between the two, not convinced I've visited the US's darkest crease, yet. Ahem. Anyways, picked up the crack pipe on Friday and I come home to this mega thread. Can't decide who had the better time.
Jamie Dupree – "10% of Michigan primary voters think that Santorum is 'too liberal" http://twitter.com/jamiedupree
You know who else thinks he's too liberal?
Cthulhu?
That's EZ! SATAN, of course!
Hey, we don't use left/right down here — we use good/evil.
Which is not to say there's no correlation.
Oh, hi, Biely, fancy meeting you here. (slinks off swiftly)
Say what you want about Breibart, but that guy has a face tailor made for radio.
http://occupyforaccountability.org/sites/default/...
And a swift kick in the 'nads. He's got a face made for that as well.
Nads, too. They have a boot-shaped depression right where you can put your steel-reinforced toe.
I sign up to be a face tailor if I could sew his mouth shut.
WSJ:
At one point Sunday evening, he [Santorum] appeared to compare the crisis Americans currently face to the onset of World War II, led by “this guy over in Europe.” Mr. Santorum seemed to be comparing President Obama to Hitler, but he didn’t say which historical figure he was referring to and his spokesman did not immediately return a request for comment.
“Remember, the Greatest Generation for a year and a half sat on the sidelines while Europe was under darkness,” Mr. Santorum said. “Why? Because we’re a hopeful people. We think, ‘Well, you know, it’ll get better. Yeah, he’s not, I mean, he’s a nice guy. I mean, it won’t be as near as bad as what we think. I mean, you know, this will be OK. I mean, you know, yeah, maybe he’s not the best guy.’ After a while you found some things out about this guy over in Europe, but he’s not so good of a guy after all.”
Maurice Chevalier?
He must be talking about the committed patriotic Catholic defender of "Travail, famille, patrie" (work, family, fatherland) as a proper replacement for "Liberté, Égalité, Fraternité", and devout collaborator with the Nazis, Vichy France ruler Marshal Phillipe Pétain.
Watch out, he's a Wonketteer.
I thought it was Pétain Junior that was the Wonketeer.
—
I don't remember seeing a Junior in his nym, darlz.
Tout le monde, tout le monde
Tout le monde, tout le monde
Tout le monde aime samedi soir
As unwieldy as this post has become, I suppose we could meet up over there——->
at the Anthony Shadid post?
But I'ma head out to the gym, been away for 10 days and feeling flabby.
Lemme feel.
Wut? We're GAY INTERNET MARRIED, fer crisake.
New post by Wonkette Jr. so I'm going to go out and garden.
STILL HOPIN' FOR 2K COMMENTZ!!111
I'm workin' on it, Chas!
DONE!
YAAAAY! WE DID IT! Wonketz, Wonketz, we're number … uh, wut?
Congrats, Chas, and all you fine Wonketteers for a drunken, druggy, sleepy, rambling, but DETERMINED 2K!
Generalissimo Francisco Franco, for one.
This is somewhat off-topic, but did you know that Jimmy Page played the guitar solo in Tom Jones' "It's Not Unusual"?
Didn't he also do the solo on Donovan's Hurdy Gurdy Man?
Wikipedia:
In the booklet that came with Donovan's 1992 double CD, Troubadour: The Definitive Collection 1964-1976, Allan Holdsworth and Jimmy Page are listed as the electric guitar players and John Bonham and Clem Cattini as drummers on the recording. However, according to John Paul Jones, who arranged and played bass on the track (and also booked the session musicians), Clem Cattini played the drums and Alan Parker played the electric guitar. This line-up was confirmed by Cattini. On Jimmy Page's website, he lists this song as one on which he plays. Jimmy himself has actually never claimed that he played on the track and has also mentioned that Alan Parker was the guitarist on the session.
Clear as mud.
ZOMG. For some reason that totally grosses me out.
Somewhat?
(What was the topic, again?)
Depends on where yer living, donit? (Leers malevolently at comrad)
Now that we have a new post this thread may die. But I, for one, will remember it fondly. As one remembers a good fondle.
Wut? No! It's 1876 now!
Personally, I think it's tailor-made for the sole of my boot, but that's just me.
Depends on your location. In much of Texas, for instance, nobody expects books.
Hahahaha. Yes. Well. On the whole, I think I'd rather be in H … er.
Never mind.
In celebration of Presidents Day AND trying to hit 2000 comments . . . . .
1. George Washington
we're almost there.
2.John Adams
3. Thomas Jefferson
4. James Madison
Wow. Pretty damn good, Chas, didja memorize them all or didja cheat and use Wikipedia?
Oh, Wikipedia. I can barely remember what I had for breakfast today.
Pas de quois, man. You still made the big 2K.
Frank Herbert's many posthumous ghost writers need to get on this one right away, cuz I'm signin' up for the Sarah Jihad (or is it Sar'hah Jihad? Need to consult with the Benni-jah-Sarahitot Ger'Hi'Tol)
5. James Monroe
6. John Quincy Adams
7. Andrew Jackson
8. Martin Van Buren
9. William Henry Harrison
10. John Tyler
11, James K. Polk
12. Zachary Taylor
13. Millard Fillmore
14. Franklin Pierce
15. James Buchanan
16. Abraham Lincoln
17. Andrew Johnson
18. Ulysses S. Grant
19. Rutherford B. Hayes
20. James A. Garfield
21. Chester A. Arthur
22. Grover Cleveland
23. Benjamin Harrison
24. Grover Cleveland
25. William McKinley
26. Theodore Roosevelt
27. William Howard Taft
28. Woodrow Wilson
29. Warren G. Harding
do we get drinks or something when we get to 2000?
Who'd be buyin' tho?
We're getting a Godfather's pizza in honor of the one whose name will never be on this list.
Coupons for Big Macs, just like when the Bulls score over 100 at United Center!!
30. Calvin Coolidge
31. Herbert Hoover
32. Franklin D. Roosevelt
33. Harry S. Truman
34. Dwight D. Eisenhower
35. John F. Kennedy
36. Lyndon B. Johnson
37. Richard M. Nixon
38. Gerald Ford
39. James Carter
Congratulations on comment 2000!!!
James Motherfucking EARL Carter
40. Ronald 'God' Reagan
41. George H.W. Bush
42. William J. Clinton
43. George W. Dipshit
oh i hope bamz is 2000.
I don't get it. I've been through these pages SIX FUCKIN TIMES and only now does this comment appear. IntenseDebate? What IS yer fuckin' problem?
They wouldn't take my thumb for either Gerald Ford or H.W. Useless LIBEL!
I bite them. I bite them with many bites of hating.
44. Barack Hussein Obama
Whut…no Buddy Knox???
Jimmy Goose.
You know who else?
You are a god among men.
HEROES:
102415
12X34X1
40 or 50 % McShineys
Abernathy
AddHomonym
Amanwithnoplan
Angry_Marmot
arihaya
AutomaticPilot
bagofmice
BarackMyWorld
Barb
Barrelhse
Beetagger
Beowoof
Biel_ze_Bubba
Biff
bikerlaureate
BlackRhino
BlueStateLibel
Bonzos_Bed_Time
Buckminster
C_R_Eature
Callyson
CapnFatback
chascates
cheetojeebus
ChernobylSoup
Chet Kincaid
Chichikovovich
comrad_darkness
coolhandnuke
Crank_Tango
DahBoner
Dashboard Buddha
Data Exactly
DemmeFatale
DerrickWildcat
Designer_Rants
DrOzarkZ.Hellbender
Dudleydidwrong
DustBowlBlues
ElPinche
emmelemm
FakaktaSouth
Fare la Volpe
flamingpdog
FlipOffResearch
freddymcmurray
fuflans
Fukui_sanYesOta
Gainsbourg69
Geminisunmars
glamourdammerung
Goonemeritus
GregComlish
GuanoFaucet
Guppy
gurukalehuru
Harry_S_Truman
HateMachine
HistoriCat
HogeyeGrex
IceCreamEmpress
ifthethunderdontgetya
imissopus
io9k9s
JackObin
James Michael Curley
Jerri
JohnnyBrooklyn
johnnyzhivago
Joshua Norton
jqheywood
Jukesgrrl
LagunaB
Lascauxcaveman
LetUsBray
Limeylizzie
Lionel[redacted]Esq
littlebigdaddy
Loaded_Pants
lulzmonger
Mahousu
ManchuCandidate
MangoTheCat
MasterDebater
mavenmaven
mayor_quimby
Me
memzilla
MilwaukeeKent
MissNancyPriss
MittBorg
moar_plz
Mondo_Cane
Monsieur_Grumpe
MosesInvests
Mrspanky
Mumbletypeg
Negropolis
neiltheblaze
NellCote71
NorbertsRevenge
Nostrildamus
not that Dewey
Nothingisamiss
nounverb911
NYNYNYjr
OneDollarJuana
PlanetWingNut
poncho_pilot
poorgradstudent
Preacher_Griz
Pres.Beeblebrox
proudgrampa
PuckStopsHere
Quayle2012_KNOT
RavenRant
rickmaci
Rotundo_
savethispatient
Schmegeg
sharethegrief
ShaveTheWhales
SheriffRoscoe
smokefilledroommate
snackypants
SorosBot
SorosBot Jr!
Spurning Beer
starfanglednut
Steverino247
subsum
SudsMcKenzie
Swampgas_Man
Terry
tessiee
TheMightyHaltor
ThundercatHo
tribbzthesquidz
ttommyunger
Tundra Grifter
user-of-owls
V572 Flambé
Veritas78
voodooeconomics
weej_bain
yyyaz
2000: 2/20/2012.
NEVAR FORGET!!
i made teh list!!! w00t w00t!
Me TOO!!
Sniff! Almost makes me want to NEVAH change my name again! (Grabs BMW, dances around)
Total kudos to Extem, for putting up teh List! Fuck me, where's my vape?
I didn't. I'm going to go commit mass suicide.
Maybe 'cause you didn't contribute to this epic list 'till now?
Hard to believe we had that many contributors, though.
Wait, wut? There's only ONE of you.
My Synthetic Identity is there also!
I!! I could be king!! And You!! You could be Queen!! We could be Heroes!!!! Just for one day!!
Sorry about being a hero. The pay is shit but at least fun can still be had.
*pins Goatse With Golden Clusters on own chest & salutes*
TCBϟ
I have been exiled from the halls of history. I haz a sad.
♫ "And I'm proud to be a Wonketteer, where my comments aren't snark-free." ♫
It just goes to show that when Wonketteers set our minds on something, we can do… well, this. Okay then!
"I have one job on this Ship! It's stupid, but I'm gonna do it!"
You did this just because I wasn't around .
I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Now, calm down, sweetie. There'll be other Fridays. There'll be more drunk Wonketteers. (Pats Blue's back with a vigorous circular motion, hitherto unknown, but destined …)
I love MittBorg and mudsharks .
I love you too, sweetie. (Hugs the li'l blue one)
2K comments! Take that, Huffpo!
YAAAY! (Grabs UW, dances around)
We DID IT! Booze for all!
p is for pizza!
Poor Jukesgrrl paws! (rubs Jukesgrrl's paws) You gave hugeness of P for this effort, babe!
And Kirsten's buying! (see page 4) Booze Plus for all!
Yay! (grabs CREature and dances around)
Listen, dood, ain't much can get a gimp to dancin', but 2,000 comments of a weekend on Wonkette? And they were FUN, too!
And…most of them were Funny, some were serious, many were clever, almost all were intelligent and THERE WERE NO ALL CAPS and none were misspelled!
Take That, commercial Content Aggregator Vanity site!
I'm new to [commenting on] Wonkette, but this post made for an entertaining weekend (is that pathetic?) Thanks everybody!
Welcome! If you think this was fun (and it was), stick around for the next End-of-the-World post. One's got to be coming up soon and those are lots of fun.
Welcome, DR!
Thanksgiving weekend is another sure bet for a entertaining holiday. By tradition, it starts out with a prayer by William S. Burroughs. Then we all swap cranberry recipes, favorite drinks, share stories of dreadful inlaws, wipe each others tears ~ it's like old home week.
I never got an invite to *that* party. Dood. Y'all bin having fun without me.
BTW, friends, I held to my promise and gave p to EVERY POST on page 3 and beyond. Chascates' number should go up tomorrow.
My p is pleased!
Hey there everybody! What did I miss?
eh – the usual. No big deal.
Hey, pupik! We had our first ever 2,000-comment thread. You shoulda BEEN here!
Oh, well, you showed up in time for beer and celebrations.
Totally not cool. If this stuff can't happen organically, it shouldn't happen, at all. Spamming is not cool regardless of what it's for.
In my radical youth, I briefly belonged to the Beige Liberation Army. It was an off-white supremacist group.
Whoa! The double face palm – bringing out the big guns.
Sometimes, you just gotta go Double Facepalm.
You're damn right. It is a weird thing to watch people I know who seem/used to be normal and then they'll say something about watching that stuff and I suddenly feel the same way I do about Scientologists. I just can't take anything someone says seriously after that. About anything. I am a fox news bigot. No tolerance. If you watch that believing you are watching anything besides angry, crazy, paranoid propaganda, you may as well pray to Xenu.
Absofuckinglutely. The changes that vile racist network has brought forth shock me, and I live in the perpetually shocking South.
Undoubtedly. Like the sunrise.
Hey, it has been a good evening! No one could have predicted…
Who's their leader, Jennifer Anniston? There is none more beige.
Now that's what I'm talking about.
Doesn't Martha Stewart have beige hair, skin, eyes, and teeth?
I should have known they were up to no good, listening to bands like 2 Live Ecru.
I think Jen is seriously trying, each and every day, to turn every part of her body into a giant butterscotch candy.
Obama/Biden 2012: Flaccid is Over. If you Want It
Well, on second thought… the safest thing to do would be to give up reading. Start ordering books through the mail, one thing leads to another and suddenly you're outside a Federal building in a fake suicide vest with a van full of feds across the street all laughing at you. Ruins your whole day.
I got Benincasa's new book in the mail from
BombsBarnes and Noble the day after that story got posted at teh Wonkette. Fortunately it didn't say "book" on the box so I got to open it up.Sounds sort of like a Vonnegut plotline, actually…
You should see what her friend Steve did to Pete Hoekstra's Coke.
I fucking lost it; that is amazing.
I love Sarah. Her roast routines are always golden.
Hahahaha! Brilliant! I need to rewatch her Comedy Central shows. "Overshare!", "Overshare!" aaaand "Overshare!" scene.
I fucking LOVE that woman, hell I'd have her joo baby if'n she'd let me!
Snitch! Snitch!
Fine, fine, you can be Seeker. Jeeze, kid gets a Nimbus 2000 and he thinks he owns the whole bloody pitch.
all your meme are belong…
Suddenly, I was run over by a truck.
See also
My Other Dick is a Turgid One.
But I Can Make It Mushy Again.
Really, No Problem. Just Let Me Know, OK?
We're gonna need a bigger bumper.
_________ libel!
Guess I'm tired too, because I read that as "she was flayed alive with shards of poetry".
Fucking magnets
*
All of them. Also, too.
I wish I dared let anyone see what I would like to do to Pete Hoekstra's coke.
Mifune Toshiro said that SO much better, dood.
Oh, I thought that was San Francisco Grocer Henry Nakamura.
I haven't been this upset since the Germans bombed Pearl Harbor!
Sure, I shipped a few hundred thousand cheap Chinese machetes to Rwanda back in '94. But how the hell was I supposed to know what they were going to do with 'em? I'm no mind reader for chrissake.
Quit looking at me like that.
Given that he's threatening his ex-lover with deportation for revealing the relationship, I'm guessing not so 'out'.
Um, it wasn't that long ago that some other lawman, and a pretty good one, at that, in AZ was busted for bailing young men out of prison and giving them drugs, ain't that right? He was imprisoned in a jail that was named after him. Wasn't that guy somehow involved with Arpaio too?
It wouldn't surprise me in the least to find out that Arpaio is involved with some kind of sex-for-sale scandal that involves prisoners and undocumented immigrants. And that lots and lots of well-connected political entities are also involved.
Dood, you *do* remember that this is the Republican party we're talking about, right? Because, you know, Ken fucking MEHLMAN didn't come out until he quit all his official positions (and to his great surprise, it seems gay folk … dislike him!).
I just don't see "gay" as some kind of positive for involvement in the Rethuglican party, although, you know, feel free to prove me wrong.
Which is worse
Roses are red
vio
That's a death I might enjoy. As long as Doc doesn't get to pick the poets.
Oyster shells FTW!
(It's almost like you guys don't even read my posts. *single tear rolls down cheek.)
A graphic rickroll. Very meta.
Obama/Biden 2012: A Happy Man in Every Boat!
There. That'll fit on all those Preii.
The other cars will get Prius envy.
But it won't fit on all those Subaroots.
Xena/More Xena 2012: A Riding Rise Lifts All Boats!
"…and if your car experiences Priusprapism for more than 4 hours, call your mechanic immediately."
Hey Wonkett, seems everything is funny to you.
As the tearful mistress was being carted off by ICE, the Sheriff was overheard to mutter "I'm NOT your sweet Babeau!"
Especially if Vogons are involved.
A thousand cuts of iambic pentameter.
He misses the good old days, when he could count on, if not the auto worker vote, at least massive support from the owners of the auto industry.
So he's pinin' for the Fords.
"you'd say he's pining for simpler times?"
He said that? I thought it was yew.
and it was a sappy comment, anyway.
You're close. The producers tried to downplay the "environmental message", which they thought was too controversial. Unfortunately, that's the whole story, so all that would remain would be a Zac Ephron star vehicle (not unlike the Jim Carey or Alec Baldwin star vehicles that we've come to expect from Hollywood shitting on Dr Seuss). A motivated group of children convinced them to reconsider.
http://www.nytimes.com/2012/02/05/opinion/sunday/...
Huh…and it looks like the 4th-graders only managed to convince Universal to build in some greenwashing for the website, not any, you know, "environmental message" in the movie itself. Maybe for "balance" they'll include some lines from the National Wood Flooring Manufacturers' Association's The Truax:
Would anyone mind if we lost, say, a tick
That carried a germ that made the Cuddlebears sick?…
How far will we go? How much will we pay?
To keep a few minnows from dying away?”
Marky Mark was already in that shamalamadingdong movie about angry trees, so he's out.
One of my co-workers, the sweetest old bitty I've ever known, revealed to me the other day that she's a raging Fox Newsiac. Right in the middle of buying me lunch (which she offers to do every time we work together, bless her) she suddenly starts rambling about how she can't believe people trust Obama: "We can't believe a thing he says, he lies all the time, I don't know what's wrong with black people, etc." I had never expected this stream of bile pouring out of the sweet little granny who just hours ago was giving me a homemade cookie and telling me funny stories about her grandbabies.
What that network does to people is just vile.
Why do you hate Xenu?
that is such a major fucking WIN!
It worked for Ron Reagan, or maybe it was the dance tights.
Yes! I also thought Piper is a lesbo-to-be. Can't wait for her to tell her mom "Thanks for ruining my childhood!" (Which her mom did.)
This is the most hopeful future ever envisioned for one of Sarah's kids.
Or is it like booze, and just brings out and amplifies what's already there?
I found it interesting, prior to the election, to screw with the minds of people who "just didn't like" Obama:
Person: I don't know, I just don't like him.
Me [pleasantly]: Oh, you mean 'cause he's black?
Person: No! NO!! Of course not! That's not why!
Me: So what don't you like?
Person: [...]
I did this on several occasions with different people. They were all, invariably, shocked at my suggestion that their dislike of Obama was based on his race, and all, invariably, stuck for an answer as to what their dislike *was* based on.
I've never watch a single minute of the Fux Noise (except for the clips I've seen here and on Jon Stewart/ Colbert) but it's gotta be for old white racists what crack was to Whitney, once you get that first big hit ya just gotta keep goin' back for more, and more, and… (too soon?)
Well, the dance tights certainly couldn't have hurt…
Gorilla suit != dance tights
Excuse me, I think I'm lost. I was looking for Wonkette — you know, anusburgers, selbst-freudening schade, Marcus Bachmann jokes….
I seem to have stumbled into one of Professor Gingrich's history seminars.
She was indeed. I had read a summary of the facts as you present them here some time ago, but forget the context. It might have been women in the church, since I have a friend of a scholarly bent who has published in that field. Hmm.
Makes one fear terribly for one's girl-children, doesn't it? Shall we encourage them to attain all to which they set their mind? Or shall we clip their wings now, the better to keep them alive? And of what use is it to be alive and be only half a person, with a physical life but no mind to speak of, and certainly not to encourage or grow?
this is all really interesting but i just watched the rachel weisz movie because there was no reading.
Well, they're only children, for chrissakes. How much can they do? Perhaps some adults need to intercede. Universal is playing exactly into the hands of the right. They'll be accused of "indoctrinating children with eco-terrorism", when really what they're doing is the opposite, and they'll come away clean, saying "see, we found a solution that BOTH SIDES can live with." And if Grinch and Cat in the Hat are any indication, they plan to sap the movie of all artistic content, as well. Dr Seuss and Chuck Jones are spinning in their graves.
If you're ever in NM, be sure to visit the Chuck Jones Gallery in Santa Fe. They have a collection of original Dr Seuss taxidermy sculptures and signed, numbered lithographs.
Terri Birkett, member of NOFMA, took it upon herself to add reason to the rhyme of Dr. Seuss and rewrote his book
Yes, because Dr Seuss books are all unreasoned and broken and require fixing by pollution-industry hacks. Thanks, Ms Birkett, for attempting to prove that deforestation is the key to healthy forests!
And now YOUR link is bollocksed. Here you go…
I have a hopeful anecdote for you. Wednesday I was sitting in the VW dealership waiting room for a couple of hours, and damned if they didn't have MSNBC playing all afternoon. I can't tell you that anybody besides me was favorably disposed, but nobody even muttered any disagreement. And this was in Pensacola, the home of clinic bombings and Joe Scarborough.
Silent tolerance may not seem like much to many of you, but the South-dwellers should be impressed.
You know who else…
You are scaring me, but I think it needs to get this bad for the sane people to wake up and match the energy of the crazies. We have been thinking "no way!" for far too long.
I'd hit that. Eat it, also.
You say that like it's a bad thing.
No base is as base as their base.
It's really quite easy to tell the difference: Professor Chichikovovich's lectures involve facts.
The principal difference between Neutrino * 's seminars and that post are that the material in that post is as best we know true, rather than evidently false to anyone with even a five minutes cursory skim of the facts.* Get it? Neutrino? … 'cause he's like, a lightweight? …. HAHAHA ….And, you know, his name is Newt? … [tap, tap] is this thing on?—
Yeah I have no idea what's going on. Good news for McCain I guess…
I hate when I do that.
Sheesh, you'd think that on one of my several NM camping trips I'd have found the Chuck Jones Gallery; stupid pre-Internet travel planning….
Thanks Dr. OZH – kind of you to say that. Since I'm in the neighborhood, I thought I'd add that the post yesterday about Romney and the width of the trees was one of the funniest things I've read since I started hanging out in this disreputable honkeytonk.
They also borrowed $5.9billion directly from the government. I own a niche Ford product, and belong to a few brand-specific sites. I don't spend much time on them because of the abject stupidity of the other members, believing Ford derived no benefit from the so-called auto industry "bailout".
This is good news for the GOOP.
Your move, next meme reciter.
Good info, I was not aware of Ford's "it's not a bailout" bailout… er, Low Interest Subsidization Loan… er, whatever.
Remember the old derisive acronym "Found On Road Dead"? How 'bout "Found Out Receiving Dole"?
My compliments on your exquisite taste in automobiles, if I were to pick from a list of options my dream car would pretty much be there, especially the color. Gearheads frequently lean to the conservative side of the political spectrum so sometimes it can get a little thick. I throw up the blinders and occasionally a bit more when I encounter them. Have fun, you probably couldn't avoid it in that work of automotive sculpture!
YOWZA!!
A *Shelby* Mustang!
JOE BAD!!
wow you bought one of those Ford 'hell we can't think of anything else to do so we'll just bring beck the '69 Mustang" pieces of crap? hell, my '82 Honda Civic was a better designed, engineered and built car than anything Ford has made in the last 40 years…and my '04 Honda makes a 2012 Ford look prehistoric!
How do you think ntDewey feels? His Republitard was thrashed back in '48!
VW dealership, 'nuff said. Real US Americans don't drive VWs. Probably a European-elite diesel at that!
Let us know when they are watching MSNBC down at the VFW.
Not that Dewey.
What a lovely looking slice of watermelon they have in this picture…
Meh, the moment has passed.
The Fairey FROTHY sounds like the way to go. At least until the convention in August.
Of course. See what a terrible Republican strategist I would be?
Yup. Our first openly-closeted gay VP candidate. Thankfully, nothing more than that.
Up at the link D_J posted, scroll down a bit. You cvan't miss 'em. Fascinating.
?? I see a nun and a Palin kid, but no other pictures on that page.
I'm glad to see you too. Sorry to hear about the hell. I will look later so we can commiserate.
That's EXACTLY the one I was thinking of.
Let me announce to all and sundry, and see how hysterical they get.
Thank you, darling. Truly.
I don't think so. I think (and I speak only from my own personal experience, of course) that we all have the *ability* (though not necessarily the *inclination*) to fall on either side of the moral divide at any time. This is especially so as we get older. As our senses dim, and the stresses on us become intolerable, we might find our faith in our own character or sense of right and wrong shaken in the extreme. I'm thinking of the experiments done at Stanford, and at other such fine institutes, regarding the potential and capacity for humans to inflict brutal and degrading pain upon each other in certain contexts. Of course when I'm discussing this with friends in person, we all say, "Nothing would ever induce me to do X, Y, or Z to innocent persons in my power." And yet, we can read, often enough, about experiments in which people just like you and me would hit a button to deliver an electric shock to someone without compunction. Hannah Arendt's The Banality of Evil discusses this, and I suspect much of the anger at her that erupted after that book was due to the fact that she hit a little closer to the truth than most people were comfortable with.
more like crack, or meth…it just gets into their central nervous system and starts eating away at the neurons and synapses and before long there's just no functioning brain cells left (or so I've heard)
But then it goes on to mock unions and quate social/economic equality with Stalinism.
Now where's my d20…?
*blush* Why, thank you!
I, for one, will welcome our next meme overlord.
fecalzygote?
How about Frothy the Blowman?
And then, when he's 23, the youngest Palin will make his "It Gets Better" video aimed at comforting the special-needs children of shameless media attention-seekers. While its immediate target audience will be somewhat limited, the message's raw emotional honesty will move millions to tears.
Which one, then? The commodore? The duck? The education reformer? The library cataloguer?
GOOD GOD, MAN, I HAVE TO KNOW!!!!!
Please be the llibrary cataloguer! Please be the library cataloguer!
Aha–found the one you're referring to. Along the way, tho, also found this, which has a nice WTF quality.
C'mon, if you had that cute ass to hand, don't tell me you'd resist. Huh?
Ah, yeah. You can only take so much of those guys before you want to shower in boiling water and squeegee off.
Script it.
Ain't No Bugs On Me!
Oh, I am so stealing "meth lab chic."
Your mom is AWESOME!
What pdog said dood. I think your Mom might have a fan club here along with Fukui-san's Mom.
I saw what you did. How come yew always got to beat the other comments to a pulp? Play nice and don't be a pain in the ash.
Woohoo! Those kids are remarkable!
Threadwinning Gold Star to you!
Kawaii!!!
No butt-biting bugs, either, one hopes.
I heard they was some Mongoloid children runnin' 'round them Appalachian hills but I didn't take 'em LITERALLY! (srsly THAT was awesome fun!
Oh, I remember those, they're ASSHOLES. Vonnegut had them all over his books.
At least it's not the SOBBING Double Facepalm.
Well, spit! Hails of derisive laughter, Bruce!
Lucifer's testicles? That's nothing. Try Checkered Whiptail Lizards!
I know; nobody wants to think about Santorum's O-face.
On the way to view this reply, Mozilla Thunderbird told me "this site appears to be a scam. Are you sure you want to visit http://www.wonkette.com?"
When you tire of worldly toil
shuffle off this mortal coil
turn your body back to soil, it's OK
–Loudon Wainwright III
Jesus that is so fucking tight.
Yeah, that one.
Geez, guys. Shall I brush your teeth for you too? It's in the article BMW linked to in the first post of the thread, on which I was commenting. Check page 2.
Nope. Just some critters, buggin
Ok, that proves it: The Nips actually won WWII but the rest of the world is so torqued on Jap-Acid that we didn't notice.
It's only when they slip up and let something like this get out that we can see that they're completely normal and we're thoroughly batty.
YOU DOUBT ME?!?!
Hey, Starship had use for a God!
OK, not really.
"Of course I did it in cold blood, you idiot! I'm a reptile!"
ZOMG, those HOE MOZE!
awesome, I've been lookin' for just the perfect cult of lesbionic libertines to join…hell if the end of the world is a comin' I want to go out with a BANG of parthenogenesis! (srsly that is pure genius…well done for finding that gem!)
I just finished reading The Eustace Diamonds, and, quite honestly, now realize that I don't much like Trollope, and never did. I had, in fact, read the novels on which The Barchester Chronicles were based, and although I enjoyed them to some extent, I feel that Trollope is neither fish nor fowl nor good red herring. I had expected more writerly skill, I suppose, or greater context for much of the political machinations that form such an essential part of the plot in the Palliser novels, but felt as if I found neither. Now I'm well aware that my taste is, as the Victorians might have had it, unformed, and that I'm very opinionated with precious little to back such, and I'm sorry to have gone so OT and astray.
But like Lady Eustace, I am fond of poetry, and would not mind being flayed alive with shards thereof, so long as you do not select the poetry.
"G'Day! Dr. Oark Z. Hellbender? That'll be confusing! We'll just call you Bruce!
And, remember…THERE IS NOOOOOOOOOO- Rule No. Six!
Look, you're the Messiah all right, and I should know, I've followed a few!
Geek humour. No one ever *really* LOLs, but they type LOL a lot.
Please remember to add the word "Buttsechs" to any moderately technical and/or High-Minded Postings on this particular Blog, so some of the Gentle Readers don't become confused and irritated.
Oh, girl. You know the SW doesn't display all the posts or in order, right? I sometimes post the most brilliant remarks, the most original and uniqyew of things, and check back an hour later and eighty-seven other people said exactly the same thing or answered the question better or whatEVAH that makes me want to go live on FAILBLOG permanently!
Now dry those eyes and let's get back to poking Republicans. There's WORK to be done!
Not at all. I am merely the humble servant of Gitche Manitou, come to enlighten the world about His desire that we should kick Sheldon Friess (and most likely Rick Santorum too) in the nuts.—
Thank you–it's like car porn whenever I look at it or drive it! Wanted a Shelby bad as a kid, it seemed the right thing to do to drain my 401k for this one. Cat food is surprisingly nutritious.
Bowdlerization is still in fashion, I see.
Watch out — you're gonna get Tessie and the other sesquipidelian-Americans all hot and bothered using words like that.
Huh, that was like the time I sold a load of Stinger missiles to some well-spoken chaps in turbans. They told me it was for their kids' school project so it seemed legit.
The Mighty Gitche Manitou? I sang a pseudo-native american carol about that dude in a christmas recital. 'Twas in the Moon of Wintertime'.
Probably the most offensive thing I have ever done to Native Americans. That I know of.
Awright, so this real Hot blond Chick in a red dress shows up outta nowhere with all these big metal weirdos with one red eye and all they want are metric tonnes of highly enriched Uranium. Hey, they paid in cash! They said it was for a prank.
I'm a businessman, what do I know?
Ron Paul's scrawny chicken legs! That's what we'll need!
It's not as bad as you imagine. It's known as the "Huron Carol" in Canada. It was written in 1643 by Père Jean Brébeuf, a French Jesuit missionary who had lived for many years among the Huron and bordering Native tribes in what is now central Ontario. (And in fact he would die with them, in an attack by invading Iroquois. Brébeuf is a quite famous figure of early Canadian history, a remarkable man in many ways, well-known to schoolchildren in Canada, especially in French-speaking schools.) The melody is based on an old French folksong, the lyrics were originally written in the language of the Huron (I can't remember offhand the name of the language. Starts with a W.) as an effort to translate the Nativity story into terms that would be comprehensible to people who had had only known Europeans for perhaps 10 years, and even then knew only missionaries and some scruffy fur-traders working for Champlain. So understood, it's not so crass as all that – it's a genuine and sincere attempt by a European to reach out to the culture he is attempting to convey his beliefs to.
The English translation that you sang is more recent – 1920s or something – but I understand (not sure about this) that it is very close to the original.
So personally, I think you can give something else the crown of "the most offensive…." Unless perhaps I'm just tone deaf to what gives offence in this connection – always a possibility.
Tampon! Tampoff! Tampon, tampoff, the tamper!
(Sorry, that's just been floating around in my brain since the 80s.)
Focus, man. Here you are, larching from comment to comment, aspen the first question that pops into your head. Spruce up your arguments and stop branching out.
Believe me, Sheriff Paul, as he likes to be called, is doing the sobbing double facepalm tonight.
Chich, I composed a longer post and just deleted it. This one missionary might have been a decent fellow, but the Catholic Church's attack on indigenous people on this continent amounts to a genocide, and it continues to this day. (See Spanish Missions, concentration camps.)
Most recently, the church sent the worst priestly sex offenders, the ones they could no longer conceal in urban or suburban parishes, to reservations and remote Inuit villages, where they continued to rape with impunity.
In any case, "Twas in the Moon of Wintertime" is a very typical attempt to co-opt local culture and religion into the service of the Catholic Church, in my opinion.
But he looks so presidential!
Any red-blooded American would have done the same thing. Metal weirdos with one red eye are people too, my friend.
Like, the DHS was all on my ass for flogging just a couple of shipping containers of semtex to the Pope and I'm like "dude, he's god's representative on earth, know what I'm saying? Ever hear of papal infallibility?" and they're all "the pope is white" and I'm like "he said he was in disguise! The fuck?"
Weather in gitmo is pretty good, gotta say.
This meme is a shameful part of our history….
CUT IT OUT!
Sorry, my bad. I clicked on the link to the homepage, and found this: http://www.godammit.com/2012/02/03/visits-from-th...
Beaut.
Different deities, dood.
Whatever you do, DON'T mention the War!
That poor kid's fate already moves me to tears. Jesus fuckaduck, that wretched woman's left him alone at the critical time of his life when he most needed one-on-one attention. I hope he's doing OK, poor kid.
Use your inside voices, children, or you're not allowed to play.
Jesus Tapdancing Christ, they jacked you up for that Pope Scam? Those DHS guys must of been havin' a bad week.
I know 5-6 Top Drawer Dealers that fell for the Pope Scam – those guys are Good – and most of them didn't get nuthin' but Community Service. Well, ceptn' for Carl. I warned him about those Pershing missiles, but he goes and tries to offload 'em anyway. Knucklehead.
Anyway, my Bud Ahmed says that he likes the food at Gitmo, especially Ice Cream Day. Good for you!
I think this Prison Asteroid Sucks. It''s dusty, the food's all freeze dried, only thing to drink is Tang, these fucking robots are getting on my nerves and the VCR tapes are getting really worn out.
Well, yeah, I suppose you're right that "detachment" is the wrong word. I've always imagined it must have been just cluelessness of a titanic degree. But it's true, my Scots friends (even the Protestants, since I don't hang out with Orange Order members, so far as I know) insist that she knew exactly what she was doing, that she may as well have showed up decked out with a Rangers scarf and playing an Orange Order flute. I find it hard to believe, that any politician would be that provocative to such a huge constituency, but then I wasn't in the middle of the great struggles of the Thatcher era as they were. Maybe it's true.
Biff, dammit! I'm sending stew.
Geezus, you just can't gay-marry people over the InterToobz no more, they all turn out to be weird.
Sweet photo.
Motorheads.
Well, I had This.
But I always, secretly wanted One of These.
You just don't want us to break teh Wonketz again. Selfish, I callz it.
*shredded*
Well, there is no end to the shocking things we are learning about the Catholic history with native populations, that's true. And the dominant figure in the Catholic Church in France who supported Champlain's project of exploration and settlement, and sent the missionaries was Cardinal Richelieu, one of the more cynical power-managers in the seventeenth century church, you'll get no argument from me on that.—
Oh, pshaw. Offensive? When Kid Zoom was in the Kiwanis Boys' Choir in 5th grade or so, the poor lads were dragooned into singing THIS abomination–both racist AND a simply awful bit of music.
FIFY.
Hey, at least on the asteroid you've lost weight, amirite? As for the robots, just come up with a couple of Turing stopping problems and they won't bother you again.
Holy crap, not Carl Lipshitz? The motherfucker almost got me arrested in Finland. You sell just one "decommissioned" Typhoon-class submarine and, well, the clients want the "special upgrades", gnomesane? That fucking idiot Carl tries to sell then some R-39 missiles when every cunt knows they were destroyed under one of the Start treaties.
Long story short, I only managed to get out by wearing a stupid mustache and claiming I was John Bolton.
Buttseks!!!
(That's just to keep us from being banned for over-seriousness on a 3 day weekend.)
I have no mouth and I must scream!
My high school history teacher insisted that the only reason Warren G Harding was elected was that he just looked so darn Presidential.
Heh…"Gamaliel"
"Now Dr. Paul, you just sit right there and I'll go get a wheelchair and take you to the dining room. I understand they are serving vanilla pudding for dessert tonight."
"I have to deliver a baby. They're paying me with chickens!"
"Yes, that's right, you're a very important doctor. Back in a jif. Here, watch an old VHS tape of From Here to Eternity while I'm gone."
My loony bun is fine Benny Lava!
I just noticed that movie today and wondered why it was recommended for me by the netflix machines. I was worried there might be santorum involved.
Fer fux sakes. Thank goodness we're living a post-racial society (of lead paint chewing imbeciles.)
Poopyhead.
motorcycle.
All right, I slagged it as soon as I realized there was a Problem.
didn't know before. Now I do. OK?
!
Yeah, it was a dick move on my part. That's why I'm paying for your meal. Prick. Here's 50 for the meal, and 200 for the car. I made some love stains in the back. You'll see…
Hey, I've a Bolton Mustache too! It's remarkable how many times they work to get you out of a jam.
Yes, the very same Carl Lipshitz. I thought the Syndicate was going to cut him loose after he brokered the sale of the General Belgrano to Argentina without minimal ASW hardware. But NOOOOO!
Bastard still owes me 5 large from that poker game with Cheney, Rumsfeld and Thatcher.
Yeah, I lost weight but not Mass. Smashing into the bulkheads gets really old and I have bruises all over now.
I deployed a test Turing program last week. Had the one they call "Speedy" running in circles outside for 2 days before the Mainframe could do a remote Reboot. My other 2 Turings are rough but may be ready soon.
I'm going to try and take over the Hydroponic Module.
My parents-in-law, both educated liberals, both Quakers (one of them a seriously practicing Quaker), one a physicist with a PhD from Oxford, the other a highly regarded theoretical psychologist, both voted for Reagan over Carter. Which I find incredible. Literally – I acknowledge the truth of it, but I just can't process the information into a stable belief. I keep thinking I must be mistaken – and then I remember – no, I was right there when Chichikovna told me. By the time I met them, it was around the time of Iran-Contra and both were quite embarrassed about; they had voted for Mondale in 1984. The closest I've ever come to an explanation from either one of them was a kind of “well, we thought that he wouldn't really do all the things he said he was going to do.” Maybe all that flouride in the water was making people crazy. The John Birch society was right.—
I did, too, and my wife has never forgiven me for it nor has she let me forget it. I could only crawl back into the bed after I promised to be a good boy and not do that again, ever. Ah, the sacrifices one makes for love… I think she got the idea from reading Lysistrata.
I too voted for Anderson in Arizona that year. It was my first presidential vote, and I went to the polls in Flagstaff right before they closed, intending to vote for Carter. But he conceded before I could vote, and that really pissed me off.
Harlan? Is that you?
I'm finding this exceedingly difficult to masturbate to.
A three day weekend? [Quickly googles] Ah, Presidents day – we don't have classes off for that. No doubt because of all the America-hatin' and blame-America-firstin' that goes on here.Well, have a good time, all you people who are going to be getting all liquored up and sexing each other and dancin' the hoochie-koo while I lecture on primitive recursive functions.Trucknutz.—
Number 3: The larch.
The larch.
Buy a lottery ticket, anyway. The star may have aligned for you.
Now, there's a Meme I can get behind! Or, in front of…
Rule No. 7-NOOOOO POOFTAHS! (sounds like the GOP, all right).
I must have been haploid gamete at the time, but I remember 1980 and thinking it was the end of the world. If we didn't get poisoned to death with environmental deregulation, then I was sure we'd have a million nuclear Stalingrads.
I guess the one thing I got out of the Ronnie Zombie years is that the president really isn't that important. See Winner-Take-All Politics.
But as a figurehead, let's make sure Obama gets his unpressured by re-election four years where maybe, we can get some progressive ideas advanced.
So many people I know voted for Bush under the same delusion. I'm tellin' ya, Chich. There's a certain strain of madness that runs through the American populace. Nothing else can explain it.
Sounds like Mozilla needs to move up to a classier wine.
A line which, incidentally, occurred to me at least once a week when I was living in Osaka.
Of course, the day that the subway was closed because some construction workers digging a foundation found a leftover 500-lb bomb, everyone mentioned The War.
Just be sure your tasteful printed announcement has this graphic on the cover.
Paul Lynde was ghey???
HEY!
Syringe
Parsnip
Bock
Donut
Nib
I know, right? Shocker!
Hope I don't have to turn in my libtard credentials, but I've always been a gearhead…
the electric yam has got me by the brain banana!
Well, of course, there was always the fact that a lot of people liked him a lot.."Hitler gave good speeches too"
I've never asked anyone that to their face because it's just too touchy a point with me. I'm sure I'd end up strangling someone for saying something that hit the wrong button, and jail food is absolutely AWFUL, I have no intention of trying it.
I notice, however, that when I ask anyone who actually claims to *dislike* or *hate* the man, that very few people can give factual reasons for doing so. I myself know exactly what is it I disagree with him about (Yes, Mr. President, I wrote it all down in a list, and you should know, 'cause I've send you enough Tweets and emails to that effect). But on a personal level? The guy is fucking gold. He really does have a rare warmth and charm. Shit, Matt Taibbi, my favourite crusty curmudgeon, even went so far as to lose one icicle in his presence.
Man, I loved that little Trabant. You utter bastard.
Still, seeing you poleaxed by those two Belorussian hookers still gets me drinks when I tell the story, so I guess we're even.
Did you say "Whaa? At least it's not Fat Man. Grow a pair."? Or were you all sensitive and shit?
I, personally, laugh out loud at least once a day reading other people's posts on wonkette (including yours, MittB). Sometimes I even laugh out loud at my own posts.
But you're absolutely right, people use LOL for everything, including situations that no one would ever really laugh at: "I got in a car accident and broke both my legs, LOL".
You love them the best you can, and tell them to go out and conquer the world.
Then you tell them that the world wants to clip their wings, instead of being conquered.
Then they find out for themselves.
Absolutely not. Love the Shelby, what a motor!
I used to have one of these for a while. Utterly impractical and a petrol guzzler, but so much fun.
Thanks. It was at a charity event at the speedway in Vegas last month. we raised over $30K for the kids…
Sweet! I always wanted to buy a Lotus Super 7 kit that they sold on matchbooks.
..
..
The sad fact is that my first thought when I saw that was, "Oh, cool! It's The Prisoner's car!"
Number Six!
So, why did you resign?
Be Seeing You!
M[That would be telling.]
I'm already hot and bothered from the discussion of children's books/cartoons/Chuck Jones (who has the same birthday as I do, I'm proud to say), but thanks.
We're *all* sesquipedalians here. Goddammit.
It's not always that bad. I actually usually eat lots of veggies and fruit. And bacon.
That will teach you to gay-internet-marry on a whim!
OK, probably not. But don't say I didn't warn you.
Holland is ground zero for Michigan conservativism. You were in the lion's den of Michigan conservatism. When people talk about "Grand Rapids" Republicanism, they are talking about the suburbs to the southwest.
Grand Rapids proper, while more Republican than most Michigan cities, is actually about 50/50 in terms of partisanship. Culturally, it's different than its suburbs because it's ethnically and religiously more heterogenous (it has a large Catholic population and is 40% minority). The suburbs have a HUGE Calvinist bent to it; the Reformed (Diutch) Church owns Metropolitan Grand Rapids, much the same way as the Latter Day Saints own SLC.
You are a very nice sweet young lady. But … irredeemably sick, sick, sick.
That's a thought, pdog! But I have a Santorum-covered zombie, a Shephard Fairey-style FROTHY, and now this to choose from.
Decisions, decisions. All in the life of the busy executive.
Oooh, the festive "Christmas Version" you linked to!
*struttin' my stuff*
Gary Larson, I know it.
AAAAUUUGH!! AAAAUGH!!
Jezus, WHY haven't I learned NEVER to clicky on YOUR linky?
Damn. I had envisioned him playing The Dirt.
Yes, but we *all* know what Hitler's policies and positions were, and despite his speeches, his politics and his philosophies were morally reprehensible in the extreme. There are many things to criticize about President Obama. But his character is not one of them.
Don't feel bad. When I was just a glimmer in SorosBot's eye, I voted for Perot in 1990. For the Comedic Value. HAHAHahahahaha *cough*…hahaha….Cualquiera. Want a cigar? Or a balanced budget, or a Phil Gramm fuck job???
You see why the wimminz should not haz teh edjumacation?
For the longest time, I couldn't figure out what "bock" meant. Since I don't drink beer, the best I could puzzle out from the illustrations, labels, etc., was that "bock" was German for "goat". And I could not, for the life of me, figure out the connection between goats and beer (unless it came in a can for the goat to chew on). It finally occurred to me that "bock" is a *male* goat, the way "buck" (in English) is a male deer.
Ps. I was right.
Why, thanks!
Yes, their four legged highnesses with the comical wrinkled faces. They are adorable. My ex had one, miss the dog waaayyy more than the girl.
I think that was Colorado.
I'm pretty sure Rantin' Ross would have appreciated your voting for him in 1992 a lot more, but Slick Willie I imagine appreciated your premature ejocularation.
http://downwithtyranny.blogspot.com/2012/01/gay-r...
One of many stories that would have received 24/7, months-on-end coverage, if it had involved a democrat.
Family values Repug? Crickets.
Re: Outing. If you choose to align yourself with the "God told us exackly how yore s'posed to use your naughty bits, otherwise you are an abomination that will burn in hell for all eternity" party, your private life is fair game, as far as I'm concerned.
After all, Rick Santorum has pronounced there is no right to privacy.
I don't think anyone plays "out-the-faggot" anymore, much. It just doesn't have the scandal value it used to. Now it's more like "out the hypocrisy." With McHenry, he's one of those "FamblyValyuz" Repigs who has used his position to siphon huge wads of money to those whose interests he represents, and that would not be his constituents. He's also been accused of all kinds of shenanigans having to do with vote tampering and corruption. The details are not to hand, but can be discovered with little effort.
Apparently, he is quite comfortable with the rectum manipulations, as long as it's kept on the DL.
Instead of hugs, I get offers to boot my behind. What a place.
The Bandicoot is home and taking his ease upon the enormous bed, as a large feline is wont to do, and the temperature at La Casa de Los Gatos is back to a steady calm. I think it's been depressed with patchy gloom, of late. A little Tom Waits is probly recommended.
Thanks, CRE. Now, about changing my av …
That's a beautiful rant CRE – just beautiful. Keep up your ass-kicking ways.
Fight, strive, and survive. Let the evil ones succumb to despair. We have work to do.
Well, of course you can have Great big Creature Hugs. Of course.
I don't take that sort of talk lightly. Just know that you're not on your own. That's important. I've sent this round before, but it's worth a view again, I think: Life Goes On.
And, Also: Stormy Sky.
I'll have to remember to ask the various book dealers who send their goods to our happy home to mark the packages "SEX TOYS" or "PORN" in large red letters.
Actually, what I mostly said was "Sumimasen, nihongo ga dekimasen," many times a day.
To be sure, it made Not Mentioning The War far easier.
He's already stepped down as Mint RMONEY's AZ go-to-guy and just issued a petulant, pouty little outing statement about how he's gay, gay, gay, gay, GAY, and everyone can just eat it … uh, that is … er, well. Never mind.
Anywho. Everyone's betting he's getting out of the race (he's running for Senate or some goshdarn thing, isn't that just too fucking precious?).
Yep.
The Ford GT is an extremely well-put-together car.
Now, I agree that your average Ford isn't as good as the equivalent Nipponese motor, but Ford can put a high-end car together.
then again, for this crowd, EVERYTHING tastes like Reagan.
Could be fetus though.
So has Antonin Scalia, which is far more worrisome.
Oh, please do not get me wrong, I don't see anything wrong with the "Out the Gay Republican" game. That party has become so much based on hate, both hate of others and self, that I don't at all mind people finding and exposing the hypocrisy. All I was saying is that it's generally not on my radar until it happens.
Paul sounds like a guy pretty rotten to the core. I was always a bit more horrified by him than Arpaio because he did his xenophic bullshit with a smile and a calm voice. Those are the people you need to worry about.
You know what struck me most about the story? That both Paul and his lover instinctively knew that outing him would end his career. That just shows you what kind of party he belongs to, and I don't have any sympathy for ANY minority that chooses to indentify themselves with the Republican Party. That party is all kinds of twisted hell and evil.
You were in Flagstaff in 1980? I graduated from Flag High that year, went off to Douglas for a year, then back to NAU for college.
Sigh. I miss Kathy's Cafe.
Hey, now, that made me LOL.
Of course, I'm fucking weird.
Wise words. C'mere you. (Hugs tessiee)
then you tell them to move to canada.
Thank you. You're my kind of Avian.
Deep breathing. Think happy thoughts. Visualize a sane planet. (If that's too counterfactual, visualize a dewy rosebud, or a cuddly kitty or pup.)
I woulda said "Why can't you speak 'Merrcuhn! You OWE us!"
I got that from John Bolton's "Book Of Diplomacy" Vol. 1.
Is that the male speech-pattern or the female speech-pattern?
Man, I sure dug that. Big Time!
It's simply a picture of the cover of that excellent weird comic, easily searchable.
The Rat.
You're welcome. Sweet dreams tonight, full of the happy Kinks songs.
The best concert I ever went to was Ray Davies. It seemed less like a concert than the best party EVAH with the most generous, open, and gracious host. (Davies, of course.)
well said my cyber friend…I'm waaay more liberal than BObama and 'disappointed' in some of his actions/ policies but realize the toxic environment he's working in, but I have NEVER questioned his authenticity, his intellect, his genuine compassion for his fellow citizens,and most of all NOT his place of birth and legitimacy to be President in an election he won fair and square (as contrasted with the imbecile who was appointed/ annointed by the SCOTUS and then spent the next 8 FUCKING YEARS destroying this country!)
You think Carl was a tool, you should've worked with his twin brother Cral. Guy was so fucking stupid that when Zevon called and told him to send lawyers, guns and money he shipped off Bill Moyers, a pair of toothless jaws and a goddamned rabbit. What a fucking piece of work.
No, no. Julian is in episode 499. For the 500th they're bringing in A Suge Knight. Not sure which one, but one of them at least.
Arre, sala, behen-chud.
The Ox.
The puns sure are poplar around here.
…
…
It's no day at the beech, that's for sure. But I'm Oak-A with a few elmentary puns. I'm not one to birch about it; I can take 'em or leaf 'em alone.
Which one? Seems to me he could not be several of them.
Ha! I met Cral. He said he was cooking "duck a l'orange" and I spent fifteen minutes dodging chucked citrus fruit before I realized that there wasn't anything coming but the Chateauneuf.
I still can't understand how he sells eggs in Pianosa for five cents when he buys them in Malta for seven.
While I wouldn't generally call her a funny woman, she pulls shining black gems out of nowhere.
The other day for example, she was at a board meeting for her non-profit, and one of the case managers brought up the story of a 70-year-old woman who was being beaten by her 25-year-old husband but who didn't want to leave. While a stunned silence went around the room, one of the case workers piped up, "Wait, why doesn't she want to leave him?"
Without missing a beat, my mother answered, "For the baby."
Give it a minute.
Dude!!!
I actually said to my mum that she had a following "with some people online" and she was tickled pink.
We had a little chat about US politics (mostly me ranting a bit, it must be said) and she said to tell everyone "I got an award from the queen for services to socialised medicine. That'll mess with 'em."
!!!! Love this.
With a straight face?
I'm honestly not joking here, I think you just explained my mother. It gives me a new compassionate light to see her in.
Volume. We're all part of the syndicate.
If I have to eat one more piece of chocolate covered cotton…
More like "parthe-not-in-the-book-of-genesis", am I right??
..
..
The downside: LIZARD PEOPLE!
Maybe not an actual downside.
good job. from now on i will call you Encyclopedia Nut Brown. wait. that sounds wrong somehow…
bar code scanners weren't ubiquitous until the early '80s i think? that means, regardless of the fact that the DOD was using scanners already, GHW hadn't been in a store during Reagan's two terms. i'm not surprised, though.
DoktorZoom presents you with a certificate declaring you the winner of the Spring 2012 Yossarian Award for notable achievement in finely-honed absurdity. In addition to the certificate, which is suitable for framing, you also get a reserved parking spot that is not too far from the front of the building. (Parking spot expires March 31).
.
..
..
Number 3: The Larch.
The Larch.
I knew the Rat Signal wouldn't fail.
I see everything twice!
i am sorry i cannot follow all this. my lady bits do not equip me for deep thinking.
Baconzgood.
I'm tellin' ya. Next time I'll be more picky.
I am honored. I assume the certificate will arrive in the not too distant future.
The certificate will never arrive, as the post is far too absurd to handle it.
I knew you were a good little chicken-choker at heart.
You mean that's YOU driving it, Biffster?
Hey, I gotta handsome husband!
It was Number 4, the last time.
.
Never is not too distant.
I know whatcha mean. It's sad but true that I know the names of every fucking animal living on this street, including many long since departed, but I can't remember their humans' names to save my life. It's always, "Oh,yeah, I think that's Cosmo's people," or "You know those two guys who live around the corner and own the Afghan," or "Murphy's folks, over at 133." Mind you, I've been introduced to all the humans, and more than once, too.
I've looked at pugs
from both sides now…
I really don't know pugs
at all.
I'm cold. I'm cold.
Anytime, sweetie! (Hugs the li'l nut)
You must be an Oldz, like me. I remember when the Dewey Decimal System was IN USE!
You am!
And this is worse than Cheney how, exactly?
I mean, at least *these* lizards let us *watch,* noewutimeen?
(Hugs the Pup) Listen, my mother is — was — almost exactly like Joan Crawford in Mommie, Dearest, except not so tall and slim. And our relationship sucked for 40+ years because she was a godawful mean bitch who just delighted in making other people suffer. I tried for decades to fix the relationship. I tried everything. Nothing worked.
Of course, in the fullness of time, her karma came back upon her with a vengeance, and she needed care. And don't let anyone kid you, no amount of money can buy you the kind of "looking out for YOUR interest" that an interested family member can provide. Nobody wanted anything to do with her because she had been a rotten nasty bitch her whole life. And I had to go home and do the right thing by the bitch.
I realized that if my mother were a dog or a cat, I would have done my best to take care of her. It worked. I treated her like a recalcitrant animal and took care of her for 20 years and put her in her grave. I'm not saying it didn't cost me. But it changed the balance of power forever.
.
.
.
It's yours. All you have to do is ask.
But then, of course, I'm not allowed to give it to you.
I listened to some Frank instead, kicking the asses of the suicidal. God, he's brutal. It was a long, long piece that stitched together a bunch of other pieces, and once again, I'm blown away by his genius. And cruelty.
(Hugs the CRE) Thanks, buddy.
Morbid curiosity and maybe a death wish or two.
You danged elitist, you…I'm far too lazy to do any research on how widely Dewey is used (vs. Library of Congress), but my own experience suggests that Dewey is still the prevalent system in public schools, and possibly public libraries, while LC is virtually universal in academic library systems…and, egad, there's also something called the BISAC system, which I predict will never catch on because A) it's doomed to be called "BASIC" and confused with the programming language and B) frankly, it sounds kinda French.
All of them, Katie?
(fervently hoping that Designer_Rants' real name IS Katie, or some variation thereof)
One of Those People, eh? Where's your Aspirin?
Thanks. Must chop some carrots, or something, get this, um, discontent out of the old system. I used to chop wood, but old age makes that less enjoyable each day. Sigh.
Oh. OK. (subsides quietly)
.
.
.
I am not a number! I am a free man!
There, there… there, there…
Silly–that's the Clueless Gaijin pattern.
Hmmm – I just assumed that any box marked "BOOK" or similar nondescript term did contain porn.
Rants 'R' Us.
Vigorous Upthumbage!
Good GAWD!
It's not polite to point at Cral's Facebook Timeline and say, "He fucked up here, and…"
Oh, and the egg thing? They're all fertilized, but the real motivation is that he heard Zoroastrian chix really dig slave traders. Fuckin' Cral.
This is bad news for the Moon Nazi's.
What's the sense in ever thinking about the tomb
When you're much too busy returning to the womb?
-TMBG
Keep blushing. Half the Wonketz would do the same, Chas just had the wit and grace to say it first.
The kind of money the Bushes have, I doubt Bush the Elder has ever stepped foot in a grocery store. I'm sure he has myrmidons to perform those functions.
What possible reason would he have to be in a store – he was too busy clearing brush.
Are we Verdun yet?—
I LOVE her! She's a wicked one!
Youth Culture Killed My Dog
(mitt Romney just tied it to the roof of the car)
Wow, that was hard to upfist.
Argonne yet?
What do I know? Only my Dad and brother speak Japanese in our fambly.
Stop bringing back my misspent yoof, you young whippersnapper.
Geez, when the fuck did I get so OLD?
Just for you, dood: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JUdZxO4FIxE
I Marne you, these threads get pretty silly.—
The Mustang, or the Charger?
Also, any link to Bullitt must, by statute, include the apotheosis of San Francisco car chases
Loved the Goats, too. They were really the first of the mid-sized go-fast sumbitches back then, when gas cost a quarter.
♪♫ Somme, Somme on the range ♫♪
Ypres! These are some salient comments…
Derivatives, dee why of dee Xplosion. Realty bubbles really explode.
Huzzah!
I daresay you've never *actually* had to listen to anyone who talks like that. It's frightfully annoying.
Negligently_Joe has all the info, but he cleverly skipped out on us over the 3-day weekend.
So I went to see the President
and I asked old-what's-his-name
Has he ever gotten writers' block
or something like the same?
He just started talkin, like he was on teevee
If there's just two songs in ya boy,
what do ya want from me?
Oh, Steve McQueen's Mustang, of course!
Thanks for including the Dead Pool link that I had so thoughtlessly left out. Wouldn't want to incur the Ire of the Link Police!
I can only fire so many of 'The Voices' before I blackout. When I come to, there's more than I started with. The Research Dept. watches out for their own. Oh, and at least one of them is a "Katie," I'm sure.
I just don't understand weimar of us haven't joined in.
T
You win the thread.
We were once so close to Heaven
Peter came out and gave us medals
Declaring us the nicest of the Damned.
I Maginot one wants to cross the line…too soon?
French Canadian please. Lots of native French speakers in Canada outside Quebec.—
.
.
Now you're just panzering to the cheap seats. Still, tanks for the mammaries. (link pretty much NSFW, like any of us have workplaces anyway)
You always have the Brest links…
We're slowing down, guys. C'mon! In the words of Roy Rogers – show some Passchendaele
P.S. Thanks for the pic. Rarely do you see a photo of such a terrific looking tank. What calibre is it?
Hmm-T-84, I think. Wish I'd had someone like her in my crew when I was a tank crewman.
Anschluss….Alsace…oh, fuckit. I'd hit that. With my panzerfaust.
MINIMUM WAGE! HYAH!
Mrs D was complaining recently that I never play guitar for her anymore, which is mostly true, because I NEVER FUCKING GET ANY TIME TO MYSELF TO PRACTICE. I was inspired by this, last night, to serenade her with a trilogy of Road Movie to Berlin – Kiss Me, Son of God – Number Three. It made her very happy.
You know who else was obsessed with WW!?
T-84. 115mm main gun, if I remember correctly.
Excellent! Your post showed a Litovsk-ill.
WW! … ?
Is that the Broadway musical version?
PG Tips Special Blend with honey, actually. Also, 400 mg guaifenesin decongestant every 4 hrs with a whiskey shot. I think I have broken the world record for going through Kleenex.
You guys just have to Schtupp all this nonsense.
On Princip alone, I think this thread is tanking.
Yas, it is.
Gold Star for the Filk Reference!
Isaac Asimov is yelling in rage in SF Writer's Vahalla.
Somebody Belleau it.
"It puts the Patient Protection and Affordable Care Act on its skin or else it gets the hose again."
Also an FHS alum. Also miss Miz Zip's. The Peaks. The Canyon. Steve Willis. Flying South. And the neon elk.
Normandy I don't even bother to jump in.
That's good. If you got any worse I would have told you to go oak your head.
.
That's the essence of the Yossy.
400 ci Hi-performance engine, Rochester 4 bbl (opened up the hood scoops) aftermarket Eidelbrock tuned chrome headers, factory stock Mags with G60 RWL Bias-ply tires aftermarket Thrush steel packs (Loud!) Replaced stock 3-speed tranny with Borg-Warner 4 speed w/Hurst shifter. Stock Posi traction rear.
Went straight real real fast. And looked good doing it.
Man, if I could figure out a way to marketize this, I could make a lotta dough, boy
He was just ahead of his time. People were all gaga about that razzle-dazzle quick-cut Laugh-In and Flip Wilson. But now Solzie was doing the kind of deep, cerebral humor that Steven Wright and Bill Hicks would do like 20 – 30 years later. The world just wasn't ready for his genius.
Remember the classic:
In America, you eat hamburgers.
In Soviet Russia, you get forced to the front to fight the Nazis, and you are sent forward with all the other conscripts in wave after wave of suicidal charges toward entrenched enemy positions, generally holding unloaded rifles because it would be a waste of good ammunition to let the cannon-fodder get any. If you falter, or jump for cover, you'll be shot in the back by your own officers. If you should buck the million-to-one odds against you and not only survive the charge but also the prisoner of war camp, your survival will be regarded as ipso facto evidence of collaboration with the Nazis and you will be sent to a frozen work camp for the rest of your life, where the mortar you have to spread will freeze before you spread it and you will need to break the ice off the water in the basin before you can wash. You will surely die of starvation or disease, but there is a slim chance that if you coordinate properly, plan relentlessly and well, and proceed with relentless discipline you may be able to effect a revolt that will allow you to taste a week or two of intoxicating, blissful freedom, in the arms of women from the neighboring women's camp, also liberated, before armored reinforcements with air support massacre both camps to the last soul.
What a country!
But I gather it wasn't so much the uncomprehending philistine audiences that drove him back to Russia, but rather the fact that the cheaper grades of vodka here apparently "sucked eggs". (Direct quote).
(Hugs the Pants) Aw, baby. If I was there, I'd make ya some killer chicken soup with chilies and green onions for extra vitamin C and brown rice for body. Feel better now, sweetie. That's an order.
Er … there is. It's hilarious, though. I watched it with one partner and told the other one about it, and she said, "I thought you didn't LIKE slapstick!" I said, "I don't, but what can I tellya, we laughed all the way through this movie!"
It's in English with a little Hindi, but EVERYthing is subtitled, and it is fucking hilarious. I can't recommend it enough.
Although maybe you have to be stoned … nah, the partner doesn't smoke, and he was hysterical.
basically.
Well, I have to admit I got it from the book Hair of the Dog: Tales from Aboard a Russian Trawler
Written by American Barbara Oakley who worked as a translator onboard Russian fishery trawlers during a little-known US-USSR Joint Venture in the Bering Sea.
They ate Rusks in a mostly vain attempt to mitigate the effects of the episodic "Brutal Vodka Orgys" the Russians would endure, for celebrations, meetings, International Goodwill and no good reason at all.
Dried bread. I remember coming across the term when reading about the Civil War. Apparently it was an alternative to hardtack. Modern version-Melba Toast.
I miss those simpler times. I love how clean mine runs, 50 state smog legal with 400 hp at the wheels, thanks to a 2.6 liter twin-screw blower. Forged internals, damn near bulletproof, but lacking a bit of soul in comparison.Buttsechs.
It's all in the wrist.
Serves him right for crowning W preznit in Florida.
It's actually a perfect karmic punishment, isn't it?
I'll bet Thanksgiving is a particularly Interesting Time in Daddy Bush's house. In a Chinese Curse kind of way.
i don't think so.
i really REALLY hope you're right but i think jeb could be utterly appealing to the right.
jesus. consider what the repubs have thrown up this year.
From an engineering, efficiency and handling perspective the new cars stomp the 70's Musclecars hollow. The Goat was quite the Sled, in comparison. Some people still like to fly Biplanes, but I wouldn't want to fly to Heathrow in one.
I have an incredibly functional, pedestrian vehicle now, but it gets me there and back every time and I don't miss spending every Saturday up to my elbows in engine.
I do miss the roar, the kick as the huge Rochester secondaries kicked in, burning twin rubber streaks in the pavement. and the Stares.
Well, that just fuckin' DEMANDS another hug! (squeeze!)
If the intellectuals in the plays of Chekhov who spent all their time guessing what would happen in twenty, thirty, or forty years had been told that in forty years interrogation by torture would be practiced in Russia; that prisoners would have their skulls squeezed within iron rings; that a human being would be lowered into an acid bath; that they would be trussed up naked to be bitten by ants and bedbugs; that a ramrod heated over a primus stove would be thrust up their anal canal (the "secret brand"); that a man's genitals would be slowly crushed beneath the toe of a jackboot; and that, in the luckiest possible circumstances, prisoners would be tortured by being kept from sleeping for a week, by thirst, and by being beaten to a bloody pulp, not one of Chekhov's plays would have gotten to its end because all the heroes would have gone off to insane asylums.
That's some funny shit, right there. Like, Ken-Layne funny.
How come I ask you one lousy question about Prommie's tri-glyceride levels and the admin script munches my post like a desperate lezzie munches rug?
No, no, no! It wuz brown people getting houses! GOP reality bubbles never explode. They just go on and on and on.
I can't wait for the further explanation.
So how much is that in dog years?
Guilders or florins?
It is. She lived there for about a year with a friend who was leading scuba diving tours. They would buy fish on the beach in the mornings and have it for breakfast fried by the local fishmonger underneath the palms.
I sure miss living on a tropical island.
Wut, we don't have enough Nazis on earth?
Oh, yes!
Look, Over There!!1!
You have to have Ardennes feelings about the venture to make a real commitment.
Better shift gears – Raven Rant will come by and quite properly give us a talking-to for getting all serious on a long weekend.
Трукнюц !
It's the kibbutz of the intertubes.
OT but the TanKredo guy below, ↓, isn't joking.
I think I've told this story before, but in the interest of our "Quest for 2,000," one night around the high holiday of 9/11, I was checking some stupid post out and surprisingly, shockingly, about 70% of the commentors were reasonable, not Alex Jones types, critics of the 9/11 Commission Report.
But yeah, it's mostly a cross section of our fucknut populace.
I know that goddamned avian. They'll be all "fear and trembling, hear and obey" for the next fucking 20 generations, dood.
Which is not a *bad* thing.
CRE, my love, you have NO idea how long it takes to get to the end of this fuckin' thread.
I lied. You're actually in a recursive spacial manifold and there is no end. Sorry.
Oh, Don't Panic
Ochin Khorasho!
прикладом секса!
No thanks, I've had dinner.
Love, love, love the avatar+.
I … uh … dood. Geeze. Just don't go all Ken Lay on us, dood.
At which point the Rs will piss, gripe, bitch, and moan about him taking vacations.
I have never, ever seen that happen on Yahoo. I once called the comments section a "wretched hive of scum and villainy" (source obvious) and stand by that. It's truly awful – racists and dipshits almost to a person, and even the lefties are dipshits.
Because if you don't hyphenate tri-glyceride, it invokes He Who Shall Not be Named, if you know who I mean, and I think you do.
The cybercensor is not too bright. You cannot discuss †rigonometry here, either.
Treegnonmetry, on the other hand, is OK (and apropos.)
Paula Deen as jesus! That's fucking Basquiat meets Derrida right there.
When I was a little 'un, parents used to give their children rusks to help them cut their teeth. They were charming little squares of breadlike substance and looked as if they had been toasted to a deep, dark brown. I used to eat the baby's rusks, sometimes, out of a perverse jealousy, I think. They were utterly horrible. And they would shred your gums in a second.
Of course, after you gave the poor wee mites their rusks, you had to give them a dose of gripe water (which had a fucking shitload of alcohol in it IIRC, and would knock the kids out almost immediately).
How interesting. As I was mentioning to young Moses, over yonder, they were used for teething babies, I suppose in lieu of actually slicing the poor kids' gums open to let their budding teeth emerge. I understand the sproggen become restive when their teeth first begin to emerge, and parents give them things to chew, which results in utterly revolting dining experiences for most nonparents, but that's another story.
In the event, they gave the kiddies these horrendous things which are srsly as hard as concrete and prone to splinter when chewed and the poor little things would sit and nom and nom them until their little gums would bleed. Then their Mums would dose them with gripe water, and they'd fall unconscious. Pretty sad, eh?
(Eyes MosesInvests suspiciously) Yesssss? And you know thissssss how?
Okay, this is starting to come together.
Paula Deen with jesus hair and a tricorner hat with a "Made in the USA" labeled teabag stapled to it. PaulaJebus will be labeled "Barack Obummer" and in Paula's right hand will be the enormous and turgid boner of America's lower forty-eight. In her left fist she will be crushing a stick of butter labeled "jerbs" and butter juice will be running down her forearm and gradating from yellow to Commienizm Red (that part will be painted with aborted fetus juices). She'll be sitting on a boat scaled to take up most of the Pacific (as represented by Grover Norquist's bathtub) that looks like a toilet and the flush-handle's label will read "War on Christmas" for some reason, then there'll be a huge oilslick wake spreading out behind her labeled "shoulda built the dang fence." Oh, and the kraken attempting to overtake her toilet-ship will be labeled "American liberalism".
I've decided this is too good not to cash in on. Still sounds commercially viable, right?
Speaking of which, I'm sure you know all about Edna Buchanan, girl crime reporter and absolutely fabulously fearless lady who's seen more crime scenes than most cops without batting an eye. When Edna first went to work for the Miami Herald, she was assigned to something like the Ladies' Page or whatever fluff the papers used to print for readers of the ladyparts persuasion. Edna wanted to be a crime reporter, and was not the kind of gal to take No for an answer. She happened by a fire one night, and started asking questions, found a story, and phoned it in. The editor on the desk told her to stay there, he was sending someone out to assist her. She assumed he would send a photographer. Instead, he sent some wet-behind-the-ears young lad, possessed of the one thing Edna lacked.
Edna repaired to the nearest store for such and purchased herself a handsome plastic penis. She stuck it in a flowerpot and put it on her desk. When the editor called her in to ask her why, she said she figured the only reason he sent the dork out to cover HER story was that the dork had a penis, and she wanted to show him that she had one too.
She got the crime beat. I love Edna. She is some crazy dame.
It's just great, innit? (beams)
KATHERINE HARRIS LIBEL!
"There's no need to get snippy about it..It may surprise you but your younger brother is not the ultimate authority on this."
–Albert Gore Jr.
When you put it that way … (laughs self to death)
And also too, does this mean that gingrich supporters are a butt plug? Cuz that's what it sounds like.
He *might* be appealing to *some* elements of the Right. Unfortunately, the foot-soldiers — the marching morons, the foolish dupes who must echo the message of the one-percenters — have spent the past four years screaming about how Bush was not a REAL conservative, Republican, RWNJ, what-have-you. Do you think they're going to march off a cliff for Jebbie? I don't think so.
I'm a geek who watches Dr. Who, that'ssss how. (Amy Pond, yowza!)
Sssssso, like, any guessssssesssss on which reptilian might have essssssscaped?
He doesn't need to. He shares the *name.* And parts of the *face.*
If ever a face was made for the kiss of a shoe …
I don't think there's anything phony about W's accent; he's pure Texan, and pure asshole.
I just wanna know how come that avian fellow has speshul dispensations, is all.
When you put it *that* way …
Fluent Nerd Spocken Here.
That, sir or madam, is genius.
Also, too, I apologise a bit for being a piss-taking bastard.
I also liked the pattern of burned-out neon tubes that rendered the "Flamingo Motor Hotel" into the "Flaming Motor Ho"
Sinclair:
Every day the chasm between the classes in America grows wider; every day the class struggle grows more intense. Both sides become more conscious, more determined–and so the dishonesty of American Journalism becomes more deliberate, more systematic. And what is to be done? It must be evident to any sensible man that the conditions portrayed in this book are intolerable. Mankind will not consent to be lied to indefinitely.
Reality seems to refute this. I saw it happen in the transformation of the UK newspaper marketplace in that early 80s, then with Sky TVin the late 80s and 90s. In America, it must feel similar but with TV alone.
People in general, and especially ill-educated people, lap this shit up.
As for circulation or viewership denoting quality or respect, the circulation totals for newspapers is interesting. The Times of India is the highest circulation English language newspaper, followed very closely by The Sun in England, a Murdoch flagship.
It's an awful, shitty, tabloid newspaper.
Thanks, all in good fun!
May the Farce be with you.
Wait, wuh?
I myself frequently roll on the floor laughing at posts.
Unless you've had a sister they called "Jarbara", I think they're one up on you.
When we met him on the street and I finally asked him for an autograph he signed it and put a big * under the signature. About 15 years ago.
Sheriff Paul is running for Congress in the re drawn 4th Congressional District. It is pretty safe Republican containing all the western dessert area. Sheriff Paul, which he uses on the stump and in his introduction at CPAC, will primary republican Congressman Gosar from the 1st district. A third republican state senator has also announced. The sole announced democrat in the district is a school teacher and has done almost nothing
I, myself, have CDO. Just like OCD, but the letters are in alphabetical order, as they should be.
I gave you one.
I'm workin' on it!
too soon!
It's a small car from VW.To be honest, it's a bit small for handicap use – the usual model chosen is the Routan.
But give them two weeks and something shiny, and they won't remember that they thought anything about W other than that he was someone they'd always wanted to have a beer with.
That's like saying that you can compile your project in two seconds on your quad core 16 gig rig. F5 ftw
I have a barn. We can throw a show!
Remind me to tell you sometime about the Fambly Shenanigans. Srsly, the Bushes might tie with us, but they couldn't surpass us.
Nothing like having your Mum fling a machete at your preadolescent head and having it stick, quivering, in the door half an inch past your ear.
Oh geezus, girl, you sure have a way of pouring piss all over the flames, don'tcha?
SorosBot! Your p-ness is HUGE!
At this point, even the BASE is holding its nose at the choices offered. The Reagan Democrats are gonna be staying home and crying in their beer this time around, I think.
Is this a good thing or a bad thing?
Did she have really good aim, or really bad aim?
He's not, though. Just some fat old creep who stole lots of music from really talented Black musicians, and all the white kids thought it was SO COOL because they didn't listen to no Black people.
Easy for YOU to say, bud, you're ALWAYS dressed in natty style with that fur coat on.
Fer shoah. You know how them blahs is. Too damn lazy to do the whole thing from scratch, so they writes themselves a macro.
Myopic as hell, and didn't have her glasses on. I'm never sure whether to be thankful or wut. That was before she hired a witch-doctor (fer realz) to come "cast the spirits out" of my sister, who was deathly ill with a congenital ailment. You'd think Mum, having trained as a nurse AND a teacher, would have had a smidge more sense, but no. Chicken feathers and blood, yay! Just what the toddlers need to keep them, um, in nightmares.
I dunno, kiddo. It's a YOU thing, which means it's good enough for me.
Awww! (Hugs you both) That is so sweet.
Here's hoping for a *leetle* time for you to practice and keep your sweet Missus smiling. (sneaks in a hug for LittleSuzieNotThatDewey)
Like … Andrew NotThatBrightBart touching Riley Waggaman touchingly, or wut?
That was Daddy, darlz. Daddy don't clear brush. At most, he's cleared Barb's bush, but that's a different story.
Frankly, I doubt he *had* a birth certificate. He was born in a little village in the middle of nowhere. My Dad didn't have a birth certificate either, for the longest time, because back in those days, people didn't bother to register births. I just found out that Charlie Chaplin couldn't prove his birthplace to the satisfaction of our spy agencies either. So I'm in good company.
Fix Or Repair Daily?
C'est moi, et ma voiture…
Sounds like a GREAT band name.
Sometimes, you are wicked funny.
And then sometimes, you're just wicked.
Duly upfisted.
You DO look smart. You're a dog, whadya expect?
Serves you right, too.
Well, doesn't that just suck big hairy ballz.
Damn, you're a good-looking SOB. No wonder you keep such a low profile!
Send me your ex's name, phone number, and current address. I'm'a slap her unconscious for being such a dumb loser.
I'm damaged, she's damaged, we just weren't a good fit. Not saying it doesn't suck having her live next door, that's bad enough for me to be looking to buy a house back in California.
I can't wait for Barry to sweep all fifty states and start rescinding those tax giveaways, frankly. What kind of injustice is this, to muzzle the ox that treadeth the corn, but not the fat capitalist pig who sends the poor ox off to the gluemakers once he can't stay on his poor old legs?
I think I liked them briefly during my adenoidal teenage stage of development. Then I grew up.
Lucky you!
http://lmgtfy.com/?q=+the+parking+lot+of+an+invis...
You are just asking for a hairball in your shoe.
That hair of hers would have gone over big in the days of the MC5.
think that was my fault. i meant GHWB. not GDWIB. or whoever. or GDIAF, amirite?
i dig the new profile pic, sir.
myrmidon is such a great word.
YIKES! I didn't accidentally give him p in my thumbs up frenzy, did I?
Fuck, I think I upfisted that dumb motherfucker.
Pardon my French, of course.
Given the genetic predisposition of most people of Hispanic heritage, yes.
I did not see it as rude at all and I did not take any offense. I will admit though that I have an issue with knowing a lot of folks with advanced degrees that have problems with basic tasks (a panicked room of software engineers that did not know how to replace a light bulb being a good example) and yeah, it is hard for me to put folks like that in the "smart" column.
Calvin Coolidge looks pretty presidential, too. I guess it was a 2-for-1 sale, in the 1920 election.
It could be hoaxy. There's a blog though, and it is not at all funny. If it's Neilist or whatever he needs to spend more time at the crafts store, offline.
That's my Biely. A li'l devil of a Wonketteer, and always quick with the riposte. (feels around for stabbing, piercing holes)
Seriously? Seriously?
It's hoaxy, baby. Check this out:
"So I asked the intergoogle searcher perhaps the most obvious question, “Which Sultry red haired vamp is responsible for attempting to destroy truck stop Pizza Mogul Herman Cain by extracting his completely normal buck negro urgings?”
God has personally given me many, many, many challenges and Difficult Problems to solve.
As you can see from this SHOCKING Video, this was not one of them."
If this is not totally bogoid hoaxment, I don't know what is.
(Hugs the Biffster) Babe, you need to be in California. Nevada ain't good enough for you.
Isn't it, though? How ya doin', darlin'? Haven't seen you for ages! (Hugs the little one)
Gee, Dumb, Wut? I'm Bush? Go Die In A Fire Bush?
Thanks, darlz, but you know what, I'm on the verge of changing it to a Shepard Fairey-style Santorum av, because, you know, notThatDewey and I figured out that we can jinx the Repuglycans to DEFF with my avs.
But Chet says I have to tell everybody before I change. Wut you tink? Santorum? Or stay at Mitt?
My dear glamourdammerung, you are too kind, and I thank you.
I think we're talking about different kinds of smart, though. Some people have the intellectual capacity to visualize an entire symphony in their heads, but have trouble tying their shoelaces. I frankly admit to being one of those, to some extent, except maybe not so much the brilliant genius part. I have trouble tying my shoelaces on bad days. But I know some very very smart people like that. They can't eat their soup without help, but they can figure out incredibly complex problems in their heads. Both types of smarts are good for the species, and the individual. We don't always get to pick which ones we get. The software engineers (and I've worked with many like that) might not be able to figure out how to button their fly, but they can figure out how to write some very complex code that makes it possible for scientists to store chemical representations in databases and automate assays to help them find a cure for cancer, or COPD.
George "Driving While Intoxicated" Bush.
i moved my house to the lee of the stone and was a bit preoccupied with the packing, trucking, driving my train high on cocaining, etc. i was, for the first time in a year, too busy for Wonkette.
Mitt happens. that's old news. Santorum is, or so i hear, hot these days. Rmoney and Santorum are like State Farm. but Santorum is actually right wing crazy and deserves the ridicule more. i don't think Rmoney is crazy. stupid like a fox maybe but just very out of touch with people. as opposed to with reality.
"I know how these crazy bastards think. "
Don't go down the rabbithole, Negropolis! Don't goooooo!
You are a *bad,* bad bad little Historical Figure of The Political Bent.
I see it now. I will drop and give you twenty.
Wut, for being nice to Nothingisamiss? You're just jealous. C'mere, lemme rub your hairy li'l belleh.
Oh, man! (Gathers tools of self-destruction)
As much ZZ Top as I've listened to in my life, I oughta be ashamed. Take me to the burning place, Biely. I'm ready to lay my burden down and go now, y'all.
AFAIC, golf is just an excuse for white people to wear *really* tacky, shitty clothing.
Think white polyester sansabelt stretch pants and plaid knee-length shorts in red and green or, worse yet, pastel pink, blue, and yellow, and those horrible alligator shirts.
Expensive, but my experience was worth it.They got extra points for giving us a waiter who dished on the famous names who dine there.He was a hoot.
Recon trip, possibly this afternoon. I'm ready, and I've been looking.
OOOH! I got have the sickness cast out of me, too! Although I wasn't allowed, there for a while, to SAY I was sick. That would only bring it to me.
ZOMG, dish, girl! I want ALL the dirt.
(Hugs the KrayZ Kitteh) Dood. What am I gonna do wiv you.
I'm keeping all my fingers and toes crossed for you, boyfriend. Find something wonderful and spectacular and you. It's time to leave the uncomfortably painful situation behind. (Hugs the Biffster)
ntDewey, you slut.
Besides, he prefers to be known as *Sherrif Paul* (cue rain of tiny pink roses folllowed by fat pink cherubs to strains of cloying violins)
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