Well Someone Has To Fight the Scourge of Poor Kids Getting Free Meals

All Big Issues must necessarily have at least two sides, it's in the Bible, et cetera. Okay, now then, who wants to take the "pro" side on child hunger? Anyone? Anyone? Oh good, we just spotted a hand shooting up in the back. Why it's a Tennessee Republican, about to wave his arm free of its shoulder socket in excitement! Meet "Kevin Kookogey," the chairman of the Williamson County GOP, and he's here today to tell us a little bit about why needy children in his county should not be receiving free breakfast in school: “It is not the role of government to feed people. Government exists to protect and defend our God-given rights. Government fails when it usurps these bounds. One only need look at the hundreds of billions of dollars wasted by the Department of Education since its formation in 1980 with no improvement in student achievement." Interesting argument. Chew on that, hungry kids!

Furthermore, he is compelled to note, Williamson County is full of rich people. And come on, rich people giving to poor kids? THAT IS FOR PERVERTS:

“I am sure you have heard about this happening in other areas, but ladies and gentlemen, Williamson County, one of the wealthiest counties in the nation by any measure, is now operating under a perverse incentive to increase the number of students taking government hand-outs,” Kookogey wrote. “Of course, those handouts are courtesy of you and me, the federal taxpayers.”

It's pretty twisted alright. Fair enough, Kookogey, you win the argument. Hungry children learn independence from government and the skills they need for adult self-sufficiency, when they are hungry, in school. [The Tennesseean; thanks to Wonkette operative "Lisa Z."]