All Big Issues must necessarily have at least two sides, it’s in the Bible, et cetera. Okay, now then, who wants to take the “pro” side on child hunger? Anyone? Anyone? Oh good, we just spotted a hand shooting up in the back. Why it’s a Tennessee Republican, about to wave his arm free of its shoulder socket in excitement! Meet “Kevin Kookogey,” the chairman of the Williamson County GOP, and he’s here today to tell us a little bit about why needy children in his county should not be receiving free breakfast in school: “It is not the role of government to feed people. Government exists to protect and defend our God-given rights. Government fails when it usurps these bounds. One only need look at the hundreds of billions of dollars wasted by the Department of Education since its formation in 1980 with no improvement in student achievement.” Interesting argument. Chew on that, hungry kids!
Furthermore, he is compelled to note, Williamson County is full of rich people. And come on, rich people giving to poor kids? THAT IS FOR PERVERTS:
“I am sure you have heard about this happening in other areas, but ladies and gentlemen, Williamson County, one of the wealthiest counties in the nation by any measure, is now operating under a perverse incentive to increase the number of students taking government hand-outs,” Kookogey wrote. “Of course, those handouts are courtesy of you and me, the federal taxpayers.”
It’s pretty twisted alright. Fair enough, Kookogey, you win the argument. Hungry children learn independence from government and the skills they need for adult self-sufficiency, when they are hungry, in school. [The Tennesseean; thanks to Wonkette operative "Lisa Z."]
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Hungry kids probably do better in school. I heard that in some country and western songs, I think.
I got a feelin' called the blues, since the scurvy set in,
I hate to think I'm malnourished, but I'm gettin' mighty thin
With apologies to Hank Williams Sr.
Give 'em a mop and you'll feed 'em for life.
An asshole name Bauer from (wait for it) South Carolina compared free school lunches for poor kids to feeding stray dogs.
“My grandmother was not a highly educated woman, but she told me as a small child to quit feeding stray animals. You know why? Because they breed. You’re facilitating the problem if you give an animal or a person ample food supply. They will reproduce, especially ones that don’t think too much further than that. And so what you’ve got to do is you’ve got to curtail that type of behavior. They don’t know any better”
So there's that.
No wonder Newt did so well there.
But they don't work as fast doing their janitorial duties.
Are there no almshouses? No debtors prisons?
This calls for a Dickensian workhouse! More gruel and breaking rocks!
It was the treadmill (a wheel useless for anything other than making the prisoners take a step up or get whacked in the shin) and picking oakum (tearing apart old bits of rope to stuff into ship planks). But you had the right idea.
Our overlords aren't paying attention. It's the countries with large populations of unemployed young people that seem to have the most violent revolutions. Can't leave the compound when there's a crowd waving pitchforks outside.
I mean it's not like a guy is asking them to directly decrease the surplus population.
Sounds like a load of kookogey to me.
I loved their hit Too Shy.
BIG HAIR LIBEL !!1!1
Good for those kids! That will teach them to be born poor. They'll certainly pick better parents next time.
That is exactly what my mom told me. We weren't poor but she still said this a lot.
Kookogey? You can't make this stuff up!
give a kid a free meal, he'll eat for a day. teach a kid to skip meals, he'll be malnourished for a lifetime.
usa!
But teach a teenage girl to skip meals, and she'll be a runway model.
Only if she can sashay down the catwalk with her contraceptive pill clutched between her knees…(actually, that explains a lot…)
most teen models are so skinny they can't get pregnant plus many of them break in two after their first intercourse anyway.
One of the nice things about starving to death is that you don't have to worry about things like bloating or cramps. Of course, you don't have to worry about periods at all, but details.
With a name like "Gooey Cock" this one is clearly a Santorum supporter.
Or an entree on a Chinese buffet.
Yeah, the one that no one touches & if just sits there, ossifying under the heat lamps.
Get a freakin' job you goddamn freeloadin' kids! Free ride ends here!
If they worked as janitors, they could surely find some delicious discarded food, or food-stained containers.
Kookogey. North Korean, right?
All that time children waste eating breakfast would be better spent mopping the floors of their school.
Usurping bounds is always bad.
Yeah if I never see the word "usurp" in any form ever again, it will be too soon.
Haha, I sent this in, then refreshed Wonkette and there it is! I'm a little too late to do any good, like a lobotomy for Rush Limbaugh.
Well now we all know your first name!
Actually, that's not me. I submitted right as this story went up. Although Liz is a perfectly serviceable name!
Another Tennessean Wonketeer in da house! God save us all, every one.
Alas, I am not a Tennesseean! I saw the article on the Twitter-machine. I did go to Tennessee once, though, when I was three. Does that count?
A visitor(here in DC) just told me to go to the Gatlinburg Aquarium- like I am ever going back to Tennessee. The number of Confederate flags for sale in that town scared the hell out of me- and I am white.
Did you get a free breakfast?
Government exists to protect and defend our God-given rights. Government fails when it usurps these bounds.
Apparently, God did not give us the right to feed hungry children. Stingy bastard.
nor did he bother to give any rights to the poor kids.
What are you talking about? They have the right to starve. All the way to death, if it pleases them.
Show me where in the constitution it says anything about moral obligations!!?!
Now we know why God didn't help. He needed a shower really badly.
God hates kids. Jesus loves 'em but God can't stand the little bastards.
That explains why God always used contraception after banging that hose-beast Mary.
Jesus especially, was against it.
I'm guessing this ass wouldn't have approved of the aristocracy throwing their left over slop outside of the palace gates for the peasants to fight over.
He's right — there's nothing in the Constitution about a right to eat. That means the States get to decide.
Kook-ogey? Hell, the snark gods are just lobbing it over the plate these days.
I mean, damn: Kevin KooKogey? Will Shortz never had it so easy.
He's Kooko for shitty conservative ideology!
This one is hard to snark up. Hatred, the pure beautiful hatred that burns with the intensity of 1000 white hot suns, is all I've got for this guy and all who think like him.
Ebenezer Scrooge ain't got nothing on these GOPer muthafuckers.
Is eating not a god-given right? Or are those limited to procreating and bowhunting?
Don't forget NASCAR!
Dang. And Hot Pockets.
Okay fine – procreating, bow-hunting, NASCAR, and Hot Pockets. AND THAT'S IT. THIS FAR AND NO FARTHER!!1! DON'T TREAD ON ME!! ARGLE BARGLE!
And those giant snorkel mufflers that come out of the beds of pickup trucks.
Hahaha, I had a hot pocket once. Once.
If they are so hungry then why don't they do some custodial work around the boiler room and EARN the meal? Moochy fucking 8 year olds.
Omigod! I once fed my niece some Cheerios for breakfast because she was hungry. I'm a pervert!
I bet she's been back every day, too, looking for a handout.
I'm gonna make her take a drug-test next time she wants some cereal.
Frosted Flakes my eye.
Shouldn't she be paying you with the money she earns mopping the floors at her school?
Well, we already knew that!
Are those two statements related, though?
That definitely makes you a perv. That, and whatever it is you and Sorosbot get up to, which none of us have a clue about, since you have so rudely not provided video.
Next time we'll try liveblogging; although most of our comments will probably be something like "shydntm7juriu6ihyut5hjunalo8uae4s".
Why would you be discussing Icelandic volcanoes?
Great, you just set her up for a future of depending on the guv'ment.
If you feed them they will just grow up and want birth-control.
And who pays for the aspirin? The taxpayer, that's who!!
He's proud not to feed the okies, that Kookogey.
"And," added Kookogey, "we should put those ungrateful brats to work scrubbing toilets in schools, too. Let them work for their meals!"
"Government exists to protect and defend our God-given rights."
Clearly gawd and jeebus didn't feel that children had a right to eat. Seriously, can someone kick this jaggoff in nards already?
Yeah…that old fishes and loaves thing was just a viral marketing campaign.
Besides, It was shopped. I could tell by the pixels.
A poor child getting a free meal is worse than slavery.
It is slavery. FOOD SLAVERY!
DEMOCRATIC PLANTATION LIBEL !!1!11
High Schools should increase the cafeteria workers salary so the students would get a better looking group of slobs serving them.
Hungry children should eat the rich, and they might like to start with a Kookogey appetizer, which one can pick from a kangaroo's nose.
At the very least, the kids could be required to beg for their breakfast.
Kookogey sounds for-in to mes. Long form birth cert. or GTFO!
"Government exists to protect and defend our God-given rights."
You keep using that word, God. I do not think it means what you think it does.
Or rights – guess what, they don't come from some imaginary superman.
operating under a perverse incentive to increase the number of students taking government hand-outs
I’d like you all to appreciate this thought. The pure Wingnuttery, untouched by logic, unfettered by sense, unbound by sanity. This is the raw stuff from which everything else is formed.
If teachers would get off everyone's case, we could let the kids chew gum all day. That would take care of breakfast and lunch. And kids need to chew something.
Hundred bucks says he's also "pro-life", whatever that means in this context. Just another example of Barney Frank's famous line that these people think that life begins at conception and ends at birth.
Only fetuses need protection. Take a breath of the not-so-fresh air and it's every man for himself. What about that don't you people understand?
You should bet $10,000.
Williamson County, Texas, where I live is a high income area in Central Texas but our nearby town's main street is populated by pawn shops, finance companies, and a few fast food joints. A wind energy company, a furniture manufacturer, and a mattress plant moved out (to cheaper tax breaks, natch) and the unemployment, drug use, and social spending (such as it is) skyrocketed.
You remove the jobs and the tax base and then you whine about the low morals of the poorz that you helped to create. There will not be enough guards for your gated communities when the middle class is absorbed into the un- and underemployed ranks.
All this mess started when Obama shoved "The Great Society", head start, affirmative action, etc, etc…. down our throats.
Kevin Kookogey's middle name just has to be Krugerrand.
What about their paychecks from toiling away in the sequin mines? These kids are slackers!
Have you ever seen an autopsy of a kid who died from "glitter-lung"? Freakin adorable.
Damn!
Their x-rays sparkle more than a twilight vampire.
Someone apparently thought "Oliver Twist" was a how-to book.
Shorter Kookogey: "Leggo my Eggo!"
Government exists to protect our rights to starve to death! Wait, what?
What part of "promote the general welfare" do you not understand?
"General welfare" sounds a lot like welfare.
And it's right there in the Constitution – it's almost as if these right wingers who go on about it have never actually read it.
They read the word "general" think military, fuck yeah!, and immediately stop reading.
What kind of maggot-twit would dare to survive on Government Issue rations?
Actually, the pound cake wasn't too bad, as long as you had some fruit cocktail to dunk it in.
So, those buttons and bumper stickers I've seen saying "Lobotomies For Republicans — It's The Law" were not jokes?
Had to be a joke. You can't surgically disconnect prefrontal lobes when the patient clearly has none.
"Williamson County, one of the wealthiest counties in the nation by any measure."
And again I say unto you, It is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle, than for a rich man to enter into the kingdom of God. Matthew 19:24
But WTF can books teach us?
But WTF can books teach us?
You ask "…WTF can books teach us?" In the domain of ethics and moral behaviour, based on an analysis of the vocal suppuration pouring forth from the "Good" book's staunchest supporters, not a goddamn thing…
I hope I get to see their shock and disappointment when they learn their fate.
Does the job requirement of "GOP County Chairman" spell out in writing the requirement to be a lamebrained, biggotted sack of shit?
'"Are there no prisons?"
"Plenty of prisons," said the gentleman, laying down the pen again.
"And the Union workhouses?" … "Are they still in operation?"
"They are. Still," returned the gentleman, "I wish I could say they were not."
"The Treadmill and the Poor Law are in full vigour, then?"
"Both very busy, sir."
"Oh! I was afraid, from what you said at first, that something had occurred to stop them in their useful course,"'
Keep starving those children, Kookogey.
Dear 1 percenters: You are right. Why should you help feed other people's kids?
Also, why should other people fight wars for you? Please direct your self-made little richlings to the nearest recruiting office so that no one else has to serve in their place, while you reap the benefits.
Any of you Romneys want to step up? I hear Mitt thinks our military is inadequate.
Hungry for bread, hungry for learnin'! Why distract your stomach with digestion when it could be applying the quadratic formula and diagramming sentences?
More bacon for me.
You can't have any meat if you don't eat your pudding.
And, it's not the government's job to educate people in 3, 2, . . .
God, these fucking wingnut scolds and the constant griping about how we spend federal tax dollars. Shut the fuck up, asshole, I didn't like my money paying for wars.
A training school for Elite Model Management! Let's make some lemonade, people.
Apparently it's not the Republican Party's job to even approximate basic decency…
Decency is a slippery slope to empathy.
and from there, humanity.
Kevin is an author and also reads stuff!
Look like someone gave his book 5 stars!
I saw that!
"The Inheritance is an illustrated allegory and parable about the preservation of liberty in America. A description of America's past, an analysis of America's present, and a suggestion of America's future – all in a 10-minute read."
A fucking Renaissance Man! Without all the gay sex, I'm sure…
Yeah, I see the douchebag is a real in-tell-ECT-shul, too. On his current reading list is a book about how the free market creates a humane society. Explains his bold stand on school lunches.
These URBAN YOUTHS need to pull themselves up by their boot straps and work at their fathers law firm like I did when I was a kid!
Hey, now. What about the inalienable right to life? I'm pretty sure that requires a sausage and biscuit, every so often.
Please, sir, may I have some less?
That might actually work in some perverse way. Have all the kids refuse the meals, then the school will stop buying the gruel, then the gruel vendors will start whining to Kevs, and then Kevs will have the brilliant idea of feeding starving kids breakfast! If the kids can just go a few months without food, we'll see.
Kookogey chews! I am the walrus (tit)!
I deplore the harsh adversarial tenor and approach of debates on the issue of feeding poor children. In the spirit of collegiality and in order to achieve a bipartisan consensus, I propose the poor children be fed the garbage hauled away from the homes and shops of Williamson County's wealthy (requiring, of course, that the poor children scrape and haul it away themselves, in order to cultivate a solid work ethic.)
" Government exists to protect and defend our God-given rights."
What he meant to say was "government exists to drop bombs on brown people."
If those kids want to eat, let them get a janitorial job, or start their own farm.
Christ, I'm still hung over from last night and I want a drink…
This guys punishment should be having to eat school food for the rest of his life.
I'm so old I can remember the old, blue-haired ladies who arrived at my elementary school every day at 5 a.m. to cook, from scratch, a meat dish, vegetables, rolls or cornbread, beans or mac and cheese made with real cheese, tossed salad, jello salad and dessert. It was far better than my sibs and I got at home, or at least it would have been if our parents could have spared the two bits each for us to pay for it.
</snark on>
Remember when Jesus led thousands of his followers out into the desert, and they discovered they had only a loaf and a couple of fish to eat, and then Jesus stood up and said to the multitudes, "Get a job, motherfuckers!" Well, this guy is just Christlike in his treatment of children.
"The meek shall inherit the dirt!"
"Eat dirt & don't forget to show up at church to eat me!"
I know Mary taught him better than that and surely would have made him eat soap. I mean, I know she dilly-dallied with some *Angels* there for awhile, but she was basically a good women. I think he got that foul mouth from those *Disciples* he hung out with.
Fucking sailors and fishermen.
It is a story like that in the NT that makes me wish I believed in Jesus.
"Please, Sir, may I have some more?"
"HELL NO!"
Meanwhile, who do you suppose wrote this?
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Teleprompt_Records
Ha ha, I was going to post that earlier. MUTEMATH! Should be STARVEKIDS.
sfrm:
A band insulted by being marketed as "Christian."
Would Lil'l Ricky Santorum approve? I think not…
If only Kookogey had a MUTEMOUTH.
Fair enough, Mr. Kookogey, but do not be surprised when those same kids grow up, minus an education, in abject poverty, with nothing to lose, come looking for you in your fancy mansion and proceed to kick the living shit out of your wrinkled, greed, fucking ass.
It is not the role of government to feed our heirs. It is the job of our help.
Our cooking staff, our Butlers, Maids and our Chauffeurs or Pilot Captain to double check before they get into the automobile or Jet.
I'm assuming his goal is to privatize the McSchool Lunch program.
Spreading "Kookogey"=the mung that builds up between the skin folds of hoverround-riding teabaggers.
Unborn children? Protect them! Done been born children? Fuck 'em!
Mind your own business, and get them hungry poor kids off our backs! They deserve to be poor and hungry because they are poor and hungry, Ipsofuckingfacto! This librul bounds usurping must end!
Plagiarizer – the Dead Kennedys did it first.
The role of the government is not to help feed poor children? Fuck that, you Republican moron. Try reading the Constitution you pretend to like so much:
"We the People of the United States, in Order to form a more perfect Union, establish Justice, insure domestic Tranquility, provide for the common defence, promote the general Welfare, and secure the Blessings of Liberty to ourselves and our Posterity, do ordain and establish this Constitution for the United States of America."
Oh, this is the liberal Constitution- not the one he is talking about- our Jesus loving Christian Founding Fathers would never have written something likt that.
If Jesus Christ didn't sign it, it ain't the right Constitumentional founding paper of these here Untied Statues of 'Merka.
OK, seriously now, just what the fuck is it with Tennessee?
Oh, there are just SO many things….If you didn't live in it, grew up near it, or have family from it, it would take a loonng time to explain.
But I will attempt to simplify it as much as possible for you:
Willful ignorance, disdain of education, religious fanaticism = good.
Getting an education, doubting anything in the Bible, using logic as the default way of thinking = bad.
There are some smart/educated people in TN. However it seems like none of them run for public office. I think it's simply because they don't want to be lumped together in a group that includes Kook O'Gay and Campyfied.
Well, since you basically described flyover Pennsylvania, I think I get it now.
…
Has the Tennessee state legislature declared 2012 the Year of the Bible? Because I think might have you there.
OK Kids, let's learn today how to aim and shoot a gun. Now, pick a target!
"Government exists to protect and defend our God-given rights."
You mean life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness? Those rights?
hey kids…..eat the rich!
Actually, I'm proud of Mr Kook-whatev for attempting to make his point without invoking Hitler, Stalin, or terrorists infiltrating South America. Kudos, Mr. Kook-whatev!
The man's name sounds like someone heard a Model T honking it's horn and decided, "Say! That would make a great last name! Better than Smith!"
Let them eat zygotes!
You know who else liked it when people looked lean and hungry?
Brutus – or at least he had a lean and hungry look(or someone in the play did)
Robert Atkins?
Anna Wintour?
Calvin Klein?
Nancy Cruzan?
But of course! Another brilliant bipartisan step! Making them step over the corpses of the other children along their way provides the added benefit of good exercise, helping defeat the scourge of childhood obesity!
"Government fails when it usurps these bounds."
Someone help me out here – was Kevin leading the charge against having FEMA help out Williamson County when it flooded in May 2010?
At long last, we have a non-catholic who is willing to "Suffer the little children".
Arsehole.
Our children have been growing up tall and strong for far too many centuries. We want them short, like the North Koreans (those that survive to adulthood, anyway.) Then, like King Jong Il, they will all want shoes with lifts to look taller, which will be great business for our nation's shoemakers. I think it's obvious Kookogey is in the pocket of Big Cobbler.
If the rights are God-given, why do we need Government to enforce them? They should be automatic and universal, like laws of nature. These laws of nature are inviolable, yet "God-given rights" are broken frequently under various circumstances.
I guess I conclude this frustratingly dense person is just another example of the many people in our fair country who are under some kind of dumbness spell.
Christ, what an arsehole.
You know who else thought children should be worked and starved to death?
Republicans?
Mao?
My mom?
How about if they just grab their meals from the AbortionPlex vending machines?
"Well…..it's not going to be exactly free"-Jerry Sandusky.
As any rich Teapublican campaign contributer knows, there's no such thing as a free lunch…usually it's a thousand dollars a plate.
Kookyguy?
No birth control…but once they are here they can starve to death…
“Kevin Kookogey, come on. No one is named Kevin Kookogey unless he's a complete jerkoff.
what do you expect from the 'lawyer / manager' for mutemath, the band.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Teleprompt_Records
where does 'pursuit of happiness' fit into all this stuff?
It's so obvious that none of these people have ever been to a third world country.
Hell, some of them haven't been out of their own state.
Kookoo guy
All of these Right-Wing Nutjob pronouncements make perfect sense if you just close them with one simple statement: "Now watch this drive."
America is going to,destroy itself. And will be done by the "Real" Americans not the fake ones. As a well known Christian once said "Who is my neighbor?"
I completely agree with Mr. Kookogey. Feeding children sends the wrong message.
Best regards,
Chris Christie
You’re all missing the solution here, people. Mr. Swift had this one figured out long ago. The rich should be eating this kids!
If Mr. Kookogey knows any Christians he might ask one of them what Jesus had to say on this subject. He was just another bleeding heart, etc. Savior I guess. Right Kookogey?
And pay-per-view cage fights.
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