AWFUL PEOPLE BEING AWFUL  9:42 am February 17, 2012

America’s #1 Professional Bigot Pat Buchanan Officially Out At MSNBC

by Kaia Mursi

Okaybye!Crusted-over boil Pat Buchanan will no longer be fomenting all-out race war at MSNBC, he is sad to announce. In his latest syndicated column (HOW MANY MEDIA DID THIS PIECE OF OFFAL NEED?) which is, of course, hilariously titled “The New Blacklist,” Buchanan revealed he is finally leaving the network after ten productive and bigotry-filled years. Let’s celebrate Pat’s legacy of barely concealed racial animus after the jump!

Well, we are not linking to Buchanan’s prickly “Goodbye, Cruel Multiracial World” announcement, where he predictably rails against the liberals and the gays and the blacks and the black liberal gay atheist blacklisters who, of late, have made being an awful racist-slash-homophobe so unpleasant for him. Let’s just quickly highlight the wisdom of Hero Commenter “derek,” and his response to Buchanan:

i don’t think anyone is restricting your speech or editing what you say.

i think we live in free markets. and the free market decided your thoughts and disapproval of the lives of hard-working gay Americans is not profitable.

Hooray for free-markets!

Hooray indeed, “derek”! And now here is Pat Buchanan being hit in the face with a pie.

[Pat Buchanan on the Internet]

 
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{ 268 comments }

GunToting[Redacted] February 17, 2012 at 9:43 am

It's so sad that an old, rich, white guy just can't catch a break.

actor212 February 17, 2012 at 10:48 am

As an old white guy, who aspires to wealth, I concur. After all, if it wasn't for them dumb Irishmen, we Finns would be world renown drunks and I could get work ranting at Occupy Washington protestors.

Terry February 17, 2012 at 11:10 am

The other thing holding back Finns is the fact that the word (with one N) also means the appendage of a fish. That makes the rest of us snicker involuntarily.

An_Outhouse February 17, 2012 at 12:46 pm

Ageism!!!1!!

Callyson February 17, 2012 at 1:44 pm

And I am proud that I was able to give you upfist 69.

Gratuitous World February 17, 2012 at 9:47 am

karma dictates his spot is filled by a cheaper, hard-working Mexican alternative.

deelzebub February 17, 2012 at 10:11 am

I nominate the nice young gay Latino nurse who rescued Gabby Giffords.

Jerri February 17, 2012 at 11:03 am

Lou Dobbs?

An_Outhouse February 17, 2012 at 12:48 pm

preferrably one young enough to also pick up the janitorial duties, too.

imissopus February 17, 2012 at 12:49 pm

El Spielbergo?

Gratuitous World February 17, 2012 at 2:17 pm

true. i always thought of Buchanan as the football to America's groin.

Callyson February 17, 2012 at 1:45 pm

Tom Tancredo?

horsedreamer_1 February 17, 2012 at 8:04 pm

Antonio Villarraigosa?

(After his infidelity & messy divorce torpedoed his political future beyond LA mayoralty, I could see "Tony Villar" being the Chicano Harold Ford.)

Mumbletypeg February 17, 2012 at 9:47 am

Pat: you ride out on a rail with the bigotry you have; not with the bigotry you wish we had.

slowhansolo February 17, 2012 at 9:47 am

The world's a hard place when you're a noxious asshole.

FNMA February 17, 2012 at 9:50 am

I don't know about that. A lot of noxious assholes make pretty good livings on the TV. If it weren't for noxious assholes, Fox News would be reduced to broadcasting Bedtime for Bonzo repeatedly.

sewollef February 17, 2012 at 1:34 pm

"The world's a hard place when you're a noxious asshole."

Not hard enough by half for bigots….

Jukesgrrl February 17, 2012 at 2:19 pm

Noxious asshole … and role model for Kevin Kookogey, et al.

Texan_Bulldog February 17, 2012 at 9:48 am

Pat Buchanan=bigoted curmudgeon.

So sad that [the majority of] the country refuses to live in the 1950s, dammit!

FNMA February 17, 2012 at 10:55 am

Don't you mean 1850s?

Fare la Volpe February 17, 2012 at 11:06 am

50s A.D.

sewollef February 17, 2012 at 1:35 pm

Ah, right… back when there were slaves, yes?

Jukesgrrl February 17, 2012 at 2:21 pm

Curmudgeon is too nice a word for that guy. Andy Rooney was a curmudgeon. Bigot is OK, though.

Isyaignert February 17, 2012 at 2:32 pm

Make that the 1850s.

ThundercatHo February 17, 2012 at 9:50 am

That's not really salad dressing. Mr. T's red-headed stepchild has been saving up for awhile.

Tundra Grifter February 17, 2012 at 9:50 am

It's just before 7:00 am here on the Left Coast.

I predict Buchanan will be on Sheer uh "Am i uh An Idiot?" uh InSannity's radio show today, playing the victim and listening to InSannity whine about how "Journalism died in 2008" and how unfair it all is.

Twenty bucks says inSannity works in Mr. Obama and the mainstream media's lack of vetting.

freakishlywrong February 17, 2012 at 10:13 am

Make in $10,000 and you're on.

Tundra Grifter February 17, 2012 at 11:06 am

I'll go $400,000 – after all, that's not much.

Jukesgrrl February 17, 2012 at 2:24 pm

Anyone who uses the words "journalism" and "Pat Buchanan" together in a sentence deserves to be screamed at by Coulter and Breitfart non-stop for 24 hours.

CapnFatback February 17, 2012 at 9:50 am

Buchanan's going to be really pissed when he discovers that he's being replaced by a spotted owl.

Dashboard Buddha February 17, 2012 at 9:53 am

Trained by our own User of Owls?

not that Dewey February 17, 2012 at 10:05 am

One can only hope.

CapnFatback February 17, 2012 at 1:09 pm

je je je indeed.

user-of-owls February 17, 2012 at 3:10 pm

Not only that, but my agent is going to demand a bowl of live stoats in the Green Room before every appearance. And only Red Stoats, not those nasty brown or yellow ones.

Terry February 17, 2012 at 11:12 am

Hopefully, a gay spotted owl.

chicken_thief February 17, 2012 at 11:20 am

Who?

*too easy?*

SorosBot February 17, 2012 at 9:51 am

Hey now, you're being unfair in calling Pat "an awful racist-slash-homophobe"; you forget that he's a hardcore anti-Semite, misogynist and Nazi apologist too.

Tundra Grifter February 17, 2012 at 11:07 am

SB:

Who else thought World War II was a big mistake?

Fare la Volpe February 17, 2012 at 11:14 am

Ron Paul?

SorosBot February 17, 2012 at 11:16 am

Joseph Stalin?

Crank_Tango February 17, 2012 at 11:31 am

Joe Kennedy Sr?

JustPixelz February 17, 2012 at 11:45 am

Mussolini, when they were hanging him from a lightpost.
Emperor Hirohito, when he saw the mushroom cloud
Hitler, as the bullet passed through his brain.
Pat Buchanan, always.

MissTaken February 17, 2012 at 12:04 pm

Prescott Bush?

MosesInvests February 17, 2012 at 1:00 pm

John Foster Dulles?

GOPCrusher February 17, 2012 at 1:04 pm

Charles Lindbergh?

Callyson February 17, 2012 at 1:48 pm

Bob Dole?

prommie February 17, 2012 at 11:23 am

Apologist?

grace_nearing February 17, 2012 at 9:51 am

Too bad Fox News is apparently "toning it down" 'cuz Crazy Uncle Pat would ooze right in.

Terry February 17, 2012 at 11:13 am

He's best suited to a radio show on either AM or shortwave.

An_Outhouse February 17, 2012 at 12:50 pm

The only reason I can think is that he charges too much for Faux. I'm sure we'll still be blessed with his presence on the McLaughlin group on PBS.

GOPCrusher February 17, 2012 at 1:05 pm

Oh yippie! I still have a reason to get out of bed on Sunday mornings.

freakishlywrong February 17, 2012 at 9:51 am

Good. Doucheborough next please.

Chet Kincaid February 17, 2012 at 11:35 am

Won't happen. He fills the right wing douche quota so everybody else can "lean forward".

Not_So_Much February 17, 2012 at 9:52 am

How long til he finds a new home on Fox as a multi-cultural specialist?

An_Outhouse February 17, 2012 at 12:51 pm

No. He'll be the residient historian.

Indiepalin February 17, 2012 at 9:52 am

Pat and Bay (of Pigs) Buchanan can do what they do best now: lick out the urinals at this summer's convention in Tampa.

FakaktaSouth February 17, 2012 at 9:52 am

Speaking of gay, black, liberals, they shoulda let Jonathan Capehart (my unwitting gay boyfriend and personal stylist) ambush-fire his Blarney Stone ass on the live tv, give a fabulous speech about the horror that is Pat's "legacy", then kick his dumb ass out the studio. This is probably why they don't let me have my own studio. But I think it sounds killer.

SorosBot February 17, 2012 at 10:02 am

That would be awesome; you should have your own studio for that.

Limeylizzie February 17, 2012 at 11:09 am

You and I both , with the love for Capehart , I am especially fond of his constantly changing pocket handkerchiefs.

Chet Kincaid February 17, 2012 at 11:36 am

FakaktaSouth, you are a national treasure. I would pay to add your studio to my Xfinity package.

RedneckMuslin February 17, 2012 at 9:52 am

There's a lot of slime that will fill this vacuum.

elviouslyqueer February 17, 2012 at 9:59 am

Allen West, that you?

Lucidamente1 February 17, 2012 at 9:54 am

First they came for Father Coughlin, and I didn't speak out . . .

GunToting[Redacted] February 17, 2012 at 9:57 am

…because I was too busy organizing the celebratory festival?

poncho_pilot February 17, 2012 at 10:06 am

it was also a surprise party. mum's the word.

Nostrildamus February 17, 2012 at 12:36 pm

His altarboys?

freakishlywrong February 17, 2012 at 9:54 am

It's only too bad the nation wasn't treated to his views on contraception.

Generation[redacted] February 17, 2012 at 9:55 am

What did he do, suggest that we all deserve equality?

Grief_Lessons February 17, 2012 at 9:55 am

This is television, folks. They're just making space for a younger race-baiting homophobe, one with marvellous cheek bones and a huge rack.

poncho_pilot February 17, 2012 at 10:07 am

Rush?

freakishlywrong February 17, 2012 at 10:16 am

"rack" not "hack".

poncho_pilot February 17, 2012 at 10:28 am

i dunno. he's probably at least a C cup but i suppose that's not huge per se. as for his hackitude, i think he's like the Hendrix or Jesus of hacks. no one can really top him. they can just imitate.

elviouslyqueer February 17, 2012 at 10:24 am

Substitute "prominent Adam's apple" for "huge rack" and hey presto! Ann Coulter at your service.

chicken_thief February 17, 2012 at 10:27 am

Nah. They'll prolly go with a chick.

starfanglednut February 17, 2012 at 10:58 am

marvellous cheek bones and a huge rack.

You mean huge cock, don't you? The wimminz should be too busy holding an aspirin between their knees.

Jukesgrrl February 17, 2012 at 2:25 pm

Don't tell me. You're Marcus Bachmann's agent.

randoracer February 17, 2012 at 4:36 pm

I'm OK with that. I mean, if I have to listen to virulent, hate-filled gay bashing, overt racism, unseemly anti-Semitism and general conservative blather, I might as well be able to rub one out whilst watching.

chicken_thief February 17, 2012 at 9:55 am

Why fuck did they even hire the douche? It ain't like he's done some 180 over the past couple of years.

Tundra Grifter February 17, 2012 at 11:10 am

In real life, what has he actually done? Same for Boss "I wasn't wrong, I was misinformed" BlunderRush. And, in reality, Ole Newt.

They are the Paris Hiltons of politics.

SayItWithWookies February 17, 2012 at 11:15 am

He'd been on his way out for a while — but then he picked up loads of cred by garnering so many votes from old Jewish Floridians in the 2000 election. Anyway, the McLaughlin Group should be interesting tonight — he's still on that for now.

Chet Kincaid February 17, 2012 at 11:43 am

Jesus fuck, is that still on?! Their shit was already stale in 1984.

lefty74 February 17, 2012 at 9:57 am

Years from now Gingrich will be the fired MSNBC bigot.

jus_wonderin February 17, 2012 at 10:09 am

I can't decide if I want to live in that version of the future…or not.

GOPCrusher February 17, 2012 at 1:17 pm

Has Newt ever been on MSNBC? I thought Press The Meat was as far into the Lamestream Media that the ever went.

freakishlywrong February 17, 2012 at 9:57 am

Anyone else prefer pies, (preferred delivery system: mohawked dude), to glitter bombing?

Swampgas_Man February 17, 2012 at 12:58 pm

GlitterPie! W/ fresh-squeezed Santorum!

DaSandman February 17, 2012 at 9:58 am

And another one bites the dust, hey hey!

elviouslyqueer February 17, 2012 at 9:58 am

Oh please, salad dressing? Wake me when Pat gets flagrantly assaulted by glitter.

jus_wonderin February 17, 2012 at 10:10 am

Call me an old, but tar and lightly sprinkled feathers works for me. Yes, they can, indeed, be pink feathers.

Fare la Volpe February 17, 2012 at 11:17 am

Why do people keep throwing those when they're so ineffective?

As any stripper can tell you, glitter comes off.

Chet Kincaid February 17, 2012 at 11:45 am

I'm not in favor of assaulting politicians. Inevitably, a wingnut is going to throw something "harmless" at a Democrat, and we'll be pissed, but with no high ground if glitter and pies are cool.

GOPCrusher February 17, 2012 at 1:18 pm

"Harmless" like a Molotov Cocktail?

40 or 50 % McShineys February 17, 2012 at 3:03 pm

"It's essentially free gasoline."

–Megyn Kelly

comrad_darkness February 17, 2012 at 10:00 am

Buchanan is at least crazy in his own special entertaining way. The rest are all crazy like they were stamped at some black helicopter, Alaskan special victim's unit cookie cutter factory.

poncho_pilot February 17, 2012 at 10:11 am

he was into being a bigot before it was cool. it used to be underground.

Texan_Bulldog February 17, 2012 at 10:22 am

Exactly. Kind of like when you have to go out in public with your grandpa; although times have changed, crazy racist grandpa hasn't caught on that it's not okay to use the N word anymore (at least in public).

poncho_pilot February 17, 2012 at 10:30 am

and you have to be like, "no my grandpa was talking about his old school pants."
awkward! no one ever buys that line.

An_Outhouse February 17, 2012 at 12:53 pm

I always claim we are on our way to buy nuts. You know, those ones call 'Nigger Toes'.

jus_wonderin February 17, 2012 at 10:31 am

I actually have a sign at my door. Don't enter if you are an individual that uses the N word. Keeps my good ole boy brother at his house.

doloras February 17, 2012 at 4:34 pm

Well, at least the sign doesn't say "Dead N-Word Storage".

Terry February 17, 2012 at 11:14 am

Oddly enough, when he was on McLaughlin he seemed like a voice of reason compared to the host.

Chet Kincaid February 17, 2012 at 11:52 am

Yes, Pat had a way of sounding reasonable and intelligent when responding to a topic on that show. It was actually rather surprising to hear all his bigotry and backwards Catholic Conservatism spew out in other contexts, especially when he ran for President. But even in the '80s on McLaughlin, he and Novak were clearly part of the He-Man Israeli Haters Club. When otherwise right-wingnuts go off on an anti-Israel trip, it's usually about anti-semitism, as he has amply demonstrated since then.

GOPCrusher February 17, 2012 at 1:20 pm

Or Monica Crowley.

SorosBot February 17, 2012 at 10:00 am

♪ ♫ Hit the road, Pat, and don't you come back no more, no more, no more, no more; hit the road, Pat, and don't you come back no more. ♬ ♭

jus_wonderin February 17, 2012 at 10:11 am

I'm leavin', on a midnight train to Georgia………………….

Geminisunmars February 17, 2012 at 11:47 am

Nah nah nah nah…nah nah nah nah…hey hey hey…goodbye…..

Chet Kincaid February 17, 2012 at 12:43 pm

I would love to see Tamron Hall and the Tamronettes singing this, with hip and finger-wagging choreography, as he is booed out of the studio!

ManchuCandidate February 17, 2012 at 10:00 am

What will Pat (and his female alter ego "Bay") do now?

Texan_Bulldog February 17, 2012 at 10:19 am

It is strange that they've never been seen in the same room at the same time. (I figured she was the gey & Pat didn't want anything to do with her.)

Fred_Wertham_Jr February 17, 2012 at 11:54 am

Pat won't have to put on that dress anymore when he goes on CNN.

prommie February 17, 2012 at 12:02 pm

Bay will return to her full-time job, using her face as a tunnel-borer for highway and railway tunnels.

KeepFnThatChicken February 17, 2012 at 10:02 am

…and Reverend Al?

…and Ed?

I mean, seriously. Give the Democracy Now! lady a Vitamin B12 shot and let her do THEIR programs.

Chet Kincaid February 17, 2012 at 1:16 pm

It was fashionable to hate on Ed because he was superficially supposed to be just a left wing version of the idiots on the right, but his show is actually very good, and definitely an upgrade from Lawrence O'Donnell in the timeslot (and Keith, too).

GOPCrusher February 17, 2012 at 1:26 pm

I got banned from Ed's website forum for repeately calling a Tea Bagger a racist scumbag.
Seems that they wanted to have a forum where people of all ideals could come and debate the issues.
You can always expect a well-reasoned argument from someone who has the President of The United States portrayed as the Kool-Aid Man as their avatar.

bagofmice February 17, 2012 at 2:31 pm

Oh Yeah!

Wait, I might be missing some racial and class based context, because as a kid in the trailer park… Kool-Aid was awesome sugar-power for our hijinks in the woods.

poncho_pilot February 17, 2012 at 10:03 am

he's actually being replaced with a refurbished t-shirt gun: the Pat Bu-Cannon™. whenever they want Pat's take on an issue they'll turn to the cannon and it will fire Nazi flags and bile all over the studio.

grandinquisitor February 17, 2012 at 10:04 am

Damn, and I just got my Luftwaffe uniform pressed.

Tundra Grifter February 17, 2012 at 11:12 am

giq:

When I first came to San Francisco there was an excellent tailor in the first block of Ellis Street (just across from John's Grill). He was an elderly Jewish gentleman who'd survived WW II making uniforms for German airforce officers.

grandinquisitor February 17, 2012 at 12:15 pm

Damn, talk about unfulfilling work.

bagofmice February 17, 2012 at 2:34 pm

Given the life expectancy of pilots, at least it was steady work.

Mumbletypeg February 17, 2012 at 10:05 am

For reasons I can't explain… that retracting cat-head lurking in the upper lefthand corner is so unsettling to me — and so apropos for completing the "Loser Pat" image. Well done, Blingee®-masters!

Guppy February 17, 2012 at 10:19 am

Ceiling Cat is watching Pat Buchanan masturbate.

freakishlywrong February 17, 2012 at 10:20 am

That would be "ceiling cat". Of the good ole' "I can haz" (worn out racist) days.

Biff February 17, 2012 at 10:28 am

Ceiling Cat, passing judgement…

jus_wonderin February 17, 2012 at 10:32 am

Ceiling Cat Rulez!!!

cheaphits February 17, 2012 at 10:05 am

I'd like to see another doomed presidential run. Drain off some conservative votes from Rick or Willard…make a few bucks…why not, he's got lot's of time now.

flamingpdog February 17, 2012 at 11:33 am

Oh wow, I just got an early Friday morning epiphany from your post. There's a guy in my office named Rick Willard – I am so going to have to give him a hard time.

not that Dewey February 17, 2012 at 10:07 am

And yet,

Chuck Todd
Savannah Guthrie
Joe Scarborough
Mika Brzezinski
Mike Barnicle
Alex Witt
Dylan Ratigan
Jim Cramer
etc

Clearly, MSNBC is racist against white people.

IncenseDebate February 17, 2012 at 10:09 am

What a nattering nabob of negativity. Sheesh.

DaRooster February 17, 2012 at 10:09 am

But is he too late to get into the race?

SorosBot February 17, 2012 at 10:21 am

I'm sure he'll get the votes of all the elderly Jewish Palm Beach residents again.

chicken_thief February 17, 2012 at 10:30 am

Palin/Buchanan 2012!!!

GOPCrusher February 17, 2012 at 1:27 pm

Buchanan/Robertson 2012! Pat is where it's at!

Gunner Asch February 17, 2012 at 12:36 pm

He can mud-rassle Sarah at the brokered convention.

SoBeach February 17, 2012 at 1:16 pm

Once upon a time, long, long ago, yours truly watched Pat give a campaign speech on the steps of the Florida Capitol. I kept a straight face and resisted the urge shout Sieg heil! at his applause lines. And get this, I even shook his hand afterward.

He's a creepy guy who drew a creepy crowd. But hey, it was an entertaining way to kill a lunch hour.

Pat was out of the race shortly after that speech, and some commie from Arkansas went on to win the presidency.

Ah, the good old days.

paris biltong February 17, 2012 at 10:11 am

Wasn't he a speechwriter for Nixon? And can anyone remember anything Nixon said besides "I'm not a crook" (which wasn't even true)?

SorosBot February 17, 2012 at 10:20 am

"I have a secret plan to end the war" and "You won't have Dick Nixon to kick around anymore" – both also untrue.

Chichikovovich February 17, 2012 at 10:26 am

I've always had a soft spot for "Pat doesn't wear a fur coat, instead she's got a good Republican cloth coat", "when the President does it, that means it isn't against the law", [viewing the great wall of China] "it truly is a great wall", and most especially the two most maudlin displays of self-pity by a moral monster since Macbeth saw Birnham Wood approach Dunsinane: the 1974 resignation speech to his staff, and the glory of human achievement in the field of mawkishness that was the 1962 concession speech, especially the thrilling (if only it were true!): "You won't have Dick Nixon to kick around anymore. Because, gentlemen, this is my last press conference."

I have to run, or I could keep at this all day. Ah, memories….

paris biltong February 17, 2012 at 12:14 pm

My admittedly understated point was that Pat's pronouncements as uttered by the men of power whom he has served are eminently forgettable. He was too young to contribute the republican coat and was a Goldwaterite in the early sixties. What may be really fun to think about is how he felt about Kissinger.

Chet Kincaid February 17, 2012 at 1:26 pm

I'm fond of Tricky Dick leaning in close to the microphone and saying, "that would be wrong, that's for sure!"

Spurning Beer February 17, 2012 at 8:36 pm

"Raising a million dollars is NOOOOOOOO problem…. But it would be wrong.

starfanglednut February 17, 2012 at 11:00 am

Needs moar wiggling jowls.

Tundra Grifter February 17, 2012 at 11:14 am

And waving two fingers in the air.

And – flat out – the world's worst, most cramped, anal, golf swing. Made Sir Charles look like the old Tiger.

MissTaken February 17, 2012 at 12:11 pm

There was a theory that Pat was Deep Throat. Thankfully that was not true.

SorosBot February 17, 2012 at 12:15 pm

My favorite theory was that it was Diane Sawyer; I was kind of disappointed when it turned out to be an FBI deputy I had never heard of.

Swampgas_Man February 17, 2012 at 1:01 pm

Yeah, Dick watched that movie a dozen times, but never could get it down Pat.

GOPCrusher February 17, 2012 at 1:29 pm

To this day, I'm still shocked that he ever got work again.

AddHomonym February 17, 2012 at 10:11 am

Throwback is thrown back.

CheeseNPear February 17, 2012 at 10:12 am

I want to thank Kaia for rewarding us with Derek's words after the break instead of Buchanan's whiny rant. A much more pleasant way to start my morning!

jus_wonderin February 17, 2012 at 10:17 am

I agree!!

Bezoar February 17, 2012 at 10:12 am

I may be a foolish optimist, in fact I know I am, but I predict that 'As goes Pat Buchanan, so goes the Wingnut Nation'.

Chet Kincaid February 17, 2012 at 1:32 pm

If Murdoch terminated FOX News, maybe.

bikerlaureate February 17, 2012 at 10:14 am

My heart's going, "Pity, Pat."

prommie February 17, 2012 at 10:19 am

Felix is a wonderful cat.

Biff February 17, 2012 at 10:14 am

So misunderstanding, so misunderstood…

FlownOver February 17, 2012 at 10:14 am

Sorry about that. I jumped so quickly to pure venomous rant that I left out the necessary Snark Quantum. It's early, and the drugs haven't kicked in yet.

GunToting[Redacted] February 17, 2012 at 10:56 am

What, are you new here? We live for quivering invective!

FlownOver February 17, 2012 at 11:45 am

Thanks for the clarification.

btw, watch for the drop of "Quivering Invective's" new album, We Don' Have To Show You Any Steenkin' Long-Form Birth Certificate!"

starfanglednut February 17, 2012 at 10:56 am

Drugs? did someone say drugs?

Tommmcattt February 17, 2012 at 4:33 pm

We live for Drugs!

Lascauxcaveman February 17, 2012 at 11:09 am

He was a speechwriter for Nixon.

I think that's about the nicest thing I could possibly come up with to say about the guy. I hope when he dies, they bury him next to Dick Cheney; that would make the grave-pissing a more convenient one-stop deal.

Terry February 17, 2012 at 11:11 am

I passed him once on the sidewalk in Georgetown. As much as I despise him, I have to admit that he wears a very nice aftershave. That is the only good thing I can say about him.

chicken_thief February 17, 2012 at 11:19 am

Dick Cheney with his robo-heart will never die.

ttommyunger February 18, 2012 at 9:10 am

You must enjoy standing in line.

Nothingisamiss February 17, 2012 at 12:39 pm

Shit, I can't believe I didn't get here in time for quivering invective. I'm just full of my own Q.I. and I could really use some more.

Jukesgrrl February 17, 2012 at 2:16 pm

If we ever decide we want to class up this joint, we could change the name to Q.I. Some chumps might think it stands for Quality Investigations.

weej_bain February 17, 2012 at 10:16 am

Pat, Pat, do you forget that in the beloved FlyOvers the Klan used to burn crosses in the yards of Papists, like yourself, and not just the yards of those with an extra ration of melanin. When I was a kid in Wisconsin, our family had a Catholic neighbor from Nebraska who told us of the joys of his youth.

Chet Kincaid February 17, 2012 at 1:34 pm

The New, Rebranded Klan welcomes the tentacles of Rome.

prommie February 17, 2012 at 10:19 am

He was too mild an middle-of-the-road for the New, Tea Party-era conservatives!

jus_wonderin February 17, 2012 at 10:20 am

That is just so depressing.

FakaktaSouth February 17, 2012 at 10:31 am

And shit, he's Catholic. What the fuck is that? Evangelicals can talk straight to God thanks. Oh wait, no, we are all Catholics now? Or maybe just no fucking, or whatever, Irish people just hate the fucking? I don't know – I can't keep up with who to hate anymore. But Pat and his Mick-ish zealotry should piss off. (Being Irish and Pavlovianly-trained not to say anything that might sound dick-southern-type, I love being able to use tacky phrases for my people. It's like a kid saying swears. I wish I knew some more – besides just drunk, ornery, obnoxious, pregnant and whatever else we all are in my family all the time.)

Fare la Volpe February 17, 2012 at 10:34 am

Irish people just hate the fucking

If the size of my dad's family is any indication, the Irish love the fucking.

FakaktaSouth February 17, 2012 at 10:37 am

For reals, MINE TOO (my whole fam, both sides) I wish there was a "Not intended as a factual statement" incredulity font.

prommie February 17, 2012 at 10:53 am

Oh, sure, we love fucking, same as everyone, but come on, we have priorities, it takes so much time, it interferes with the drinking. Thats why the term "Irish foreplay" refers to a purely theoretical concept and not a real thing.

Gainsbourg69 February 17, 2012 at 12:53 pm

My Irish grandfather loved fucking so much that he had nine kids.

HateMachine February 17, 2012 at 10:36 am

I can't speak to anything else you said, but Irish people most certainly do not hate fucking.

SorosBot February 17, 2012 at 10:38 am

It's just the birth control that they hate.

LagunaB February 17, 2012 at 10:45 am

And Oliver Cromwell.
Our hate goes deep and long.
But currently directed at rethugs/women haters.

prommie February 17, 2012 at 10:38 am

Its all the Irish in South Carolina that make that place such a shithole. Noone can hate harder than the Irish, noone! My name, BTW, is Padraig.

FakaktaSouth February 17, 2012 at 10:41 am

My dad says it's we Scotch Irish assholes that make the whole south suck. So many settled down here, and we are a bunch of dicks.

prommie February 17, 2012 at 10:45 am

He pretty much nails it, yes.

prommie February 17, 2012 at 10:49 am

The Saint Patrick's Day parade in NYC is the single largest assembly of raging fucking assholes on the face of the planet, baying drunken shitheads, every one of them, worse even then an Auburn crowd, that Bama fan who teabagged the unconscious drunk, thats fucking nothing, these people live for mayhem, limbs and appendages, biting. Watch out when you fight a Mick, they fucking bite. Mike Tyson is probably part Mick.

FakaktaSouth February 17, 2012 at 1:19 pm

I get words stuck in my head the way I do songs. I have been walking around saying Padraig for 2 fucking hours now. I gotta go outside or something. (we was Brennan)

SorosBot February 17, 2012 at 10:40 am

Well here's what Pat's old boss Dick had to say about the Irish: "The Irish have certain – for example, the Irish can't drink. What you always have to remember with the Irish is they get mean. Virtually every Irish I've known gets mean when he drinks. Particularly the real Irish. "

FakaktaSouth February 17, 2012 at 10:48 am

That's because we are mean to begin with – it's the whole, making your personality more-so with liquor – Irish folks need not do this.
ALso, I LOVE how any time ANY "kind" of person is mentioned, there could also be a "what racist thing did Nixon say about them" footnote. And I don't even know what Nixon was to ridicule him, besides a paranoid megalomaniac.

SorosBot February 17, 2012 at 11:22 am

The Nixon tapes are the gift that keeps on giving, when it comes to both the cursing and the bigotry.

HistoriCat February 17, 2012 at 8:55 pm

I don't even know what Nixon was to ridicule him

Well, I don't know what he was ethnically but he was raised a Quaker. If you take that along with the fact that two of the last three Democratic presidents have been Southern Baptist, I think some bizarre inverse religion rule must apply. We need to elect a Scientologist if we want a liberal president.

Fare la Volpe February 17, 2012 at 11:10 am

Hey now, I get really cuddly when I drink.

Of course I first have to go outside and smash a couple of bottles against a dumpster to "work things out," but afterwards I'm all sunshine and smiles!

prommie February 17, 2012 at 10:42 am

As to this new coalition of the Fundie prods and the opus dei wing of the Catholics, that confuses me too. They are suppose to hate catholics, what with the 'works" thing (its a euphemism for giving charity, and charity goes against the protestant "let the lazy starve" work ethic), and then there is the fucking Pope! But it seems that the historical divide between fundies and catholics has been bridged by the emergence of the new anti-vatican II fundie catholics, and by the discovery of their shared love of fetuses and barefoot, pregnant, and subjegated women,

Ruhe February 17, 2012 at 10:33 am

It's like there is this ladder of conservative intellectual rigor (not automatically an oxymoron) with Buckley once at the top and each guy at every rung all the way down is looking at the guys below and thinking "Jesus, I'm with these idiots?" And now with the Tea Party they don't tolerate anything above "ground level" intellect. It's a herd mentality and they like to choose their leaders by the way they smell.

slowhansolo February 17, 2012 at 10:22 am

Stone free, to do as he please
Stone free, to shoot the breeze
Yeah, Pat can't stay, got to got to bash the gays

LiveToServeYa February 17, 2012 at 10:23 am

So, it's the Microsoft No Buchanan Channel? Good news!

Steverino247 February 17, 2012 at 10:23 am

It's time for Pat to retire. Seriously. The guy's been at this since Nixon so hate him or love him, it's time for him to draw a nice warm bath, open some veins and enjoy a good wine while he fades to black.

Ruhe February 17, 2012 at 10:34 am

Tom Hagen approves.

Pres.Beeblebrox February 17, 2012 at 10:25 am

Yo dawg, I put a video in your video so you can get hit in the face with a pie while you get hit in the face with a pie.

hagajim February 17, 2012 at 10:28 am

Amazing how this ancient asshole was able to stay an asshole 40 years after he was even relevent. Good bye assmunch, your severence is this bag of salted dicks!

Monsieur_Grumpe February 17, 2012 at 10:30 am

My empathy seems to broken. Sorry Pat. Oh, there it is.

SorosBot February 17, 2012 at 10:30 am

But then she actually supports gay rights and the rights of her fellow vagina possessors – in fact I'm really not sure what she's still doing in the Republican party, other than pleasing daddy.

MissTaken February 17, 2012 at 12:09 pm

Once daddy is six feet under I'm sure our Megs will bounce, bounce, bounce her tig ole bitties to the Dems where she truly belongs.

SorosBot February 17, 2012 at 12:17 pm

Oh, I would like to see that; she really is in the wrong party given her politics. And those boobs are nice, although they don't compare to my favorite pair of big bouncy breasts.

horsedreamer_1 February 17, 2012 at 8:08 pm

Democrat Megz will be Ron Reagan, Jr., with a tit job. Like Marilyn Mansonon the Mechanical Animals jacket.

bagofmice February 17, 2012 at 2:21 pm

Inheritance is a hell of a drug.

teebob2000 February 17, 2012 at 10:37 am

Awwww, now Morning Joe will have to find fill-in bigots!!

"And now here is Pat Buchanan being hit in the face with a pie tin filled with spooge from 47 gay men."

/fixed

freakishlywrong February 17, 2012 at 10:58 am

Mark Halperin called the President a "dick" and he's still on. And Joe maybe or maybe not be a racist, but he's a right-wing shill of the highest order. And an obnoxious cocksucker to boot.

actor212 February 17, 2012 at 10:38 am

*sniffsniff*

Anybody else smell that?

Smells like "You can't fire me! I quit!" burning on the stove.

HateMachine February 17, 2012 at 10:39 am

If only the Tan-Americans and Vagina-Americans knew what it was like to bear my burdens. It can be hard to stand up straight beneath the weight of all this privilege.

Nostrildamus February 17, 2012 at 12:39 pm

This comment has not been deleted by the user.

Biff February 17, 2012 at 10:42 am

MSNBC has a long history of firing people whose ideology differs from their own. Shouty Keith, Cenk, David Schuster, and now Pat. One of these is not like the others.

occams8ball February 17, 2012 at 10:43 am

I always thought when "petticoat junction" was cancelled, Pat took whatever character actor work he could get.

GOPCrusher February 17, 2012 at 1:39 pm

LOL! His Mr. Haney character on Green Acres was epic.

chascates February 17, 2012 at 10:47 am

He'll still be infecting The McLaughlin Group if anyone can stand to watch that freak show. Maybe Stormfront needs a new public face. Without a white hood I mean.

Barb February 17, 2012 at 10:50 am

Love ya like a cold sore Pat!

Biff February 17, 2012 at 10:56 am

For true, but that was before I had TV so I give myself a pass.

not that Dewey February 17, 2012 at 10:59 am

OT: Dave Mustaine denies endorsing Santorum, although he's still apparently a douchebag republitard. I wouldn't want that shit staining my reputation, either.

JustPixelz February 17, 2012 at 11:59 am

But he did say he wants the Repubican to win because Obama is "the most divisive president we've ever had." More divisive than Buchanan (James) is a remarkable accomplishment of historical ignorance. (Although you could argue Lincoln was literally the most divisive as his election triggered Southern secession.)

GOPCrusher February 17, 2012 at 1:40 pm

Megadeth still sucks.

not that Dewey February 17, 2012 at 2:15 pm

No disputing that.

SorosBot February 17, 2012 at 11:07 am

Fired despite having the highest ratings on MSNBC for daring to oppose the invasion of Iraq. And that's the supposed liberal news network.

gullywompr February 17, 2012 at 11:09 am

Yeah, that's great and all, but can you really applaud a network that has Krystal Ball as one of their regular commentators?

CapnFatback February 17, 2012 at 11:13 am

I believe the real question is can I not applaud such a network?

SorosBot February 17, 2012 at 11:17 am

Yes I can, with my penis.

gullywompr February 17, 2012 at 12:03 pm

No kidding? Just what is the sound of one penis clapping, exactly?

Geminisunmars February 17, 2012 at 12:06 pm

Ummm, splat?

rickmaci February 17, 2012 at 2:53 pm

Fap fap fap.

Gainsbourg69 February 17, 2012 at 1:05 pm

What the fuck did her parents name her brother, Uni?

ShaveTheWhales February 17, 2012 at 2:12 pm

Blue.

starfanglednut February 17, 2012 at 11:12 am

He's OUT at MSNBC? We can only hope he'll soon be joined by Marcus.

V572 Flambé February 17, 2012 at 11:17 am

Say hello to Novak when you see him, Pat!

It's good to know that MSNBC is filling the gaping void in their programming by broadcasting Whitney Houston's funeral live.

But it's sad that we won't have the opportunity hear Pat's Catholic jehadi views on the birth control issue.

SayItWithWookies February 17, 2012 at 11:26 am

Don't worry Pat — old racists never die — they just cling to the vine whilst everything they hold dear is repudiated and replaced with fresh, vibrant multicultural new growth. Probably sucks worse than death sometimes, too.

donner_froh February 17, 2012 at 11:29 am

Pat Buchanan can kiss my Irish ass.

There was a real blacklist in the United States led by HUAC that destroyed careers and ruined lives of a lot of creative people who were guilty of nothing more than exercising constitutionally guaranteed rights. To conflate this with Buchanan's employer finally telling him that he is costing them money and harming their brand is disgusting and cowardly.

Nopantsmcgee February 17, 2012 at 11:32 am

The end of an error.

elburritodeluxe February 17, 2012 at 11:37 am

Cool! Now, can Mexico please start annexing Texas and Arizona?

JustPixelz February 17, 2012 at 11:46 am

Someday Fox will fire someone … for something non-loofah related.

Naked_Bunny February 17, 2012 at 11:48 am

I hope that was a santorum pie.

KenLayIsAlive February 17, 2012 at 11:51 am

I must say Kaia, you certainly do bring the blingee.

Also Pat Buchanan is a rat turd in America's milk. also.

Jukesgrrl February 17, 2012 at 4:40 pm

Darlin', you've been gone for so long I feared you'd taken another grrl to Ecuador. Then I clicked on your name to see when you posted last. That's quite a creation! Kaia's not the only one who brings the blingee.

KenLayIsAlive February 23, 2012 at 10:18 pm

I wouldn't do that. Just been sleeping off a years worth of substance abuse, that's all. ; )

I'm listening to the The River and thinking about our trip to Ecuador right now.

Exhausted66 February 17, 2012 at 11:56 am

Editor's Note: Please change Blingee image from Pat Bukakke to Pat Buchanan. Wonkette regrets the error.

Troglodeity February 17, 2012 at 12:41 pm

Looks like he got hit with a Whiter Shade of Santorum.

proudgrampa February 17, 2012 at 12:51 pm

Old bigots never die, they just ____________.

Any suggestions?

MosesInvests February 17, 2012 at 1:14 pm

The United States Marine Corps Scout Snipers regret this.

HamsterSandwich February 17, 2012 at 1:20 pm

Best post on Pat's web site after Pat gave his bigoted rant telling his followers why he was fired, came from this guy.

Reverend Mik McAllister, on February 16th, 2012 at 6:20 pm Said:

"That homosexual acts are unnatural and immoral has been doctrine in the Catholic Church for 2,000 years." <— Buchanon statement

1. The Catholic church has not existed for 2000 years.
2. Homosexuality was not considered against doctrine until roughly the 13th century. (Paul’s epistles are political tracts meant to prejudice people against the Romans, who – gasp – allowed same sex relations)
3. Virtually every species has examples of homosexuality. How can it be unnatural?
4. Immoral means "violating one’s moral code" – not violating someone else’s moral code. Your moral code in no way governs anyone else’s unless they choose to adopt the same code.

I can find no redeeming value in you being allowed a pulpit to trumpet your hate and intolerance on MSNBC. You are not an expert on Christianity (proven by your quotes of Leviticus, among others). You are simply a hateful man who delights in leading others to pain and suffering. I hope you find your rightful place in history, with the likes of Jim Baker, Jimmy Swagger, Fred Phelps, and other self-aggrandizing con artists.

And yes, that is my real name, and I am indeed a minister. I speak for no one but myself. I was called to help others, regardless of the color of their skin, the gender of their loving spouse, the amount of money in their wallet, the building they worship in, or the medical procedures they needed or had in the past. That is a minister.

Should you ever be given a second chance, I have no faith that you will rise to the occasion. Because ministering to those in need, for you, is unimportant when compared to the chance to fill your pockets with cash and to fill the faces of those around you with hate and fear.

You may maintain that your God will forgive you. God’s forgiveness may be infinite, but His gullibility is not. Asking forgiveness without any intention of changing your ways is nor repentance, it’s lying.

It always amazes me how those who preach hate and intolerance feel that it is appropriate to pray to God with the same mouth.

Chet Kincaid February 17, 2012 at 1:58 pm

Are you creating hairs to split? According to Apple's (New Oxford) Dictionary: Immoral means "not conforming to accepted standards of morality." Merriam Webster: "conflicting with generally or traditionally held moral principles."

HamsterSandwich February 17, 2012 at 3:27 pm

The comment was Mik McAllister's, not mine. However, other than that split hair, I agree with most of it.

Chet Kincaid February 17, 2012 at 3:51 pm

My mistake!

MUHAMMED_PBUH February 17, 2012 at 1:29 pm

Intelligent conservatives like Buchanan who could clearly articulate and defend their loathsome viewpoints and are willing to actually engage with their opponents have now been almost completely excluded from the national media by reflexive, automated outrage on the left. In their absence, we've been left with petty pundits like Michael Steele, his counterpart Lawrence O'Donnell and all their disingenuous ilk . Truly this is a victory for the forces of justice, etc.

GOPCrusher February 17, 2012 at 1:44 pm

I will give Pat credit for one thing. Shortly after the President's election and the Republiklans started getting more shouty and ragey, he did try to distance himself from the modern Republiklan Party.
But he was still an racist asshole.

rickmaci February 17, 2012 at 2:10 pm

Bad timing for Buchanan. He was an intolerant, racist, homophobic, misogynistic Republican bigot too far before his time.

fuflans February 17, 2012 at 4:34 pm

i think as a matter of principle we should fire anyone who advised a president EIGHT PRESIDENTS ago.

just for, you know, relevance.

Jukesgrrl February 17, 2012 at 4:49 pm

Of all the invectives being tossed around here related to Pat, no one's directly discussed his massive ego. Surely someone who worked for the administration that sent the most felons to prison in my lifetime should have a little humility. The term unindicted co-conspirator was tailor-made for Pat. (And maybe his buddy Joe Scarborough, too.)

ttommyunger February 18, 2012 at 9:14 am

Small victories are somehow not satisfying. Now, if he were videotaped having his 'nads nailed to a stump, then being pushed over backwards?

MarionNYNY April 10, 2012 at 8:29 pm

When I saw the headline about his being "out" I thought you meant something else. Also in addition to the gays and the blacks, he hates Jews, even the ones who voted for him in Florida.

FakaktaSouth February 17, 2012 at 10:55 am

And because I am an arbitrary shamrock shagger, this description here only makes me want to experience the St Patrick's Day parade all the more.
Alabamians teabagging LSUers in a Krystal's is some kind of metaphor – I just don't know exactly how to capture the beauty yet.

starfanglednut February 17, 2012 at 11:09 am

A kid in one of my classes once described St. Patties day as "an angry Mardi Gras".

SorosBot February 17, 2012 at 11:29 am

In Philly at least you also get a lot of drunks who still will start raging against the English and claiming it was perfectly OK for terrorists to kill them. And they're mostly like third or fourth generation. Grr. I normally try to avoid going out on March 17.

Chet Kincaid February 17, 2012 at 1:40 pm

Oh, cool! Next time some asshole bitches about something an African-American did, we'll just blame it on unwanted, rape-borne Scotch-Irish genes.

prommie February 17, 2012 at 11:03 am

Oh, thats the best strategy to maximize drinking time and keep the courting time to a minimum, random hookups in the alley behind the dumpster! A real man doesn't put down his beer, same as playing softball.

starfanglednut February 17, 2012 at 11:07 am

And don't forget the wife beating! Veeery time consuming, that.

bagofmice February 17, 2012 at 2:41 pm

I was going to say, if we're going to be doing Irish stereotypes here, it should involve drinking, fooking, and blowing things up. A redneck's redneck… except they get freckles.

prommie February 17, 2012 at 11:40 am

Whack-fol-the diddle.

FakaktaSouth February 17, 2012 at 1:14 pm

That's why I married a guy of questionable Belgian descent. I get to do all the beating.

prommie February 17, 2012 at 11:41 am

Have you ever hung out around any currently English-type peoples? The Irish are regarded as animals.

prommie February 17, 2012 at 11:42 am

Life would be empty, without grudges to hold on to.

GorzoTheMighty February 17, 2012 at 11:53 am

Irish alzheimer's-you forget everything except the grudges

SorosBot February 17, 2012 at 12:06 pm

Well I am an English-type person, so yes.

HateMachine February 17, 2012 at 5:12 pm

As in all things, the optimal solution is a beer helmet.

Spurning Beer February 17, 2012 at 8:18 pm

Hey Buchanan, eat a bag of lightly salted brown or yellow stoats!

poncho_pilot February 18, 2012 at 3:43 am

not sure if this is funny, sad, or both because that's what both of my grands called them…i was at least sixteen before i knew what a Brazil nut was.

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