life-threatening situations

Gingrich Bus Breaks Down In West Hollywood, Everyone Laughs

Newt Gingrich is out in Los Angeles scrubbing a few rich peoples’ toilets with his tongue, for their amusement, in order to lock down whatever fat-cat money’s still out there. He got into town yesterday and what happens, of course, the bus gets a flat tire — in West Hollywood, where a great many homosexuals partake in social activity, according to Internet articles. Did these friendly gay Hollywood liberals help him? Eh, not so much.

89.3 KPCC monitored the Gingrich bus collapse and accumulated a number of real-time reactions from the local hedonistic city snobs, on Twitter:

Gingrich, who is in Los Angeles campaigning, did not receive much sympathy for his vehicle’s mechanical difficulties. Instead, locals took to Twitter with red-white-and-blue language, unsolicited advice, claims of voodoo, musings on karma, and at least one mention of a glitter-bomb.

Did Newt Gingrich survive? Was he safe? No one knows, because the national media has stopped covering him. We’ll find out sooner or later.

[KPCC; Image via Chris Hughes]

About the author

Jim Newell is Wonkette's beloved Capitol Hill Typing Demon. He joined Wonkette.com in 2007, left for some other dumb job in 2010, and proudly returned in 2012 as our "Senior Editor at Large." He lives in Washington and also writes for things such as The Guardian, the Manchester paper of liberals.

View all articles by Jim Newell

Comments

Hey there, Wonkeputians! Shypixel here to remind you to remember our Commenting Rules For Radicals, Enjoy!

  • nounverb911

    Was Newt out looking for Hugh Grant's hooker?

    • CarnyTrash

      I think he was looking for Eddie Murphy's hooker.

    • Callyson

      Now we know why she retired.

    • valgal2342

      Oooooooh, now wouldn't that cause a spectacular Calista fit? Maybe she'd whip out that hair talon and start swinging!

      • http://wonkette.com/ starfanglednut

        Watch out! It's sharp!

      • http://www.southsidejohnny.com/ Jukesgrrl

        I always wondered what to call that thing. Good choice!

    • http://krisbunda.com/blog/index.php Designer_Rants

      He was hoping to play Julia Roberts' role in "Pretty Woman 2: The Newtie is a Tramp".

    • Biff

      Aren't we all…

    • iburl

      I didn't even know Callista was sick!

  • meatlofer

    At least Newt,has a couple of spare tires.

  • Barb

    Now that his bus has been re tired, so shall he.

  • ph7

    Newt came from out on the hustings
    In the CPAC room he was everybody's darlin'
    But Newt never lost his head
    Even when he was beggin' for bread
    They said hey Newt, take a walk on the wild side
    Said hey Newt, take a walk on the wild side

    • flamingpdog

      And the colored girls go, "DIE, die DIE, die DIE, die die DIE!"

    • Barrelhse

      And Newt's next wife- Lola?

  • PuckStopsHere

    This is what a metaphor looks like. Gingrich campaign=broken down bus.

    • June_Cleaver2.0

      I'm glad I read down thread before I posted your exact comment.

    • http://www.southsidejohnny.com/ Jukesgrrl

      An objective correlative for Newtie and his fans.

    • Negropolis

      And, even more to the metaphor, broken down in an inhospitable place. It's not like he's been going out with grace.

  • johnnymeatworth

    The wheels on the bus go "pop pop ssssssssssssssssss," all through the town….

    • Swampgas_Man

      The Newt on the bus goes "Wah wah wahhhh". . . .

      The Gaiez around the bus go "Tee hee heee". . . .

      • http://wonkette.com smokefilledroommate

        Calista's witchy smile turned into a frown
        into a frown
        into a frown
        Her ugly mouth turned upside down
        And then her hair fell out
        Her lizard skin molted
        In her tears she drowned
        She melted into a useless puddle
        on the ground..

    • James Michael Curley

      The Gingrich campaign fades out, credits roll and the end credit music is written by Woody Guthrie. Love it.

  • Baconzgood

    Fat fuck broke his own bus because he's a fat fuck.

    • nounverb911

      Just wait until Chris Christie runs.

      • http://wonkette.com smokefilledroommate

        Chris Christie doesn't run for anything. He lounges.

        • SorosBot

          Or takes a helicopter.

      • BarryOPotter

        Just wait until Chris Christie runs.

        Better grab a Snickers. Going to be a looooong wait…

      • Tilley

        Gingrich/Christie 2012! They'll watch the returns at that Heart Attack Cafe in Vegas, where they can both eat for free!

      • James Michael Curley

        There isn't enough media to cover Christie either. That stuff comes only in Twin, Full, Queen and King Size.

  • Tommmcattt

    Newt who?

    BWAHAHAHA!

  • nounverb911

    OT
    Attention Seattle area Wonkettes!

    Just to remind you that Barry O will be in Everett tomorrow picking out the colors for his new ride at the Boeing plant, then screwing up traffic in Bellevue and Medina.

    • BigDumbRedDog

      Hey, that's my hood. Everett, not Medina. I'm one of those poors you keep hearing about.

      • Gunner Asch

        I had a private line teletype out at the 767 assembly plant at Everett in '79 or thereabouts. The operator kept a paper mache' pyramid suspended above the machine and swore that kept it functioning properly.

        • ShaveTheWhales

          Now, there's Total Quality Management.

    • MissTaken

      Good, because he's screwing up the traffic in SF today so we'll be glad to pass him off to our northern friends. Enjoy!

      • SorosBot

        After seeing normal traffic in SF I dread the thought of what it must be like when it's even worse.

        • MissTaken

          5th and Mission, just one block down from where I normally rub Steverino's balls, is completely closed all day. No ball rubbing for me.

    • SilverTsunami

      Oh, man! I'm flying into Seattle tomorrow.

    • MissTaken

      I have never been so jealous of the ladies in Chinatown before. I would pay good money to grab the President's ass.
      http://blog.sfgate.com/cityinsider/2012/02/16/oba

      • SorosBot

        Oh my, those old ladies really were copping feels there.

        • MissTaken

          Yep, and they weren't even trying to pretend they weren't playing grab ass.

      • anniegetyerfun

        I seriously… what is happening with his ass there? Does he have a bulletproof assjacket on? Every time I have seen a photo of Barry's bum, I have been disappointed in the lack of cheekitude. This photo is positively worthy of a Sir Mix-a-lot song.

        • MissTaken

          Maybe you can cop a feel tomorrow? Seems like he enjoys it

          • anniegetyerfun

            If I get a chance, you had better believe I will be groping the hell out of that sweet, sweet ass.

          • http://wonkette.com/ starfanglednut

            Drooooool.

      • Tilley

        Who wouldn't!

    • anniegetyerfun

      Yeah, we've been warned not to do anything stupid. My office is right across from Paine, and I guess the security will be out in force tomorrow.

      • Geminisunmars

        "Yeah, we've been warned not to do anything stupid."

        Guess you won't be visting the Wonkete then, will you.

    • gout

      Yup, the black helicopters have been flying around Paine field. Seriously…a flock of black helicopters.

      • flamingpdog

        I believe if their Obama's copters they would be blah helicopters.

  • Callyson

    Newt Gingrich is out in Los Angeles
    Oh, so *that's* the source of the foul odor in the air here today…

  • http://www.flickr.com/photos/30500320@N06/ DerrickWildcat

    Going down in Hollywood
    You better hope that you don't run out of gas
    Down in Hollywood
    He'll drag you right out of your bus and kick your ass
    Down in Hollywood
    They're standing on a corner waiting for a sucker like you
    Down in Hollywood

    • wapitiscat

      Needs moar Concrete Blond. And I'm not talking about Callista.

  • Pragmatist2

    Is "my bus broke down in West Hollywood" a new code phrase like "I was hiking the Appalachian Trail" or "I have a wide stance"?

    • themcwow

      same as "wide stance" and possibly "ham biscuits"

  • http://wonkette.com smokefilledroommate

    I hope they vandalize it by tagging it with a huge cock and balls.

    • flamingpdog

      Plug the tail pipe with a banana.

      • nounverb911

        Plug the tailpipe with santorum.

        • DaRooster

          In the end… it's ALL Santorum…

    • Barrelhse

      Maybe an IED?

      • http://wonkette.com smokefilledroommate

        an IED that looks like a huge cockaballs!

    • AutomaticPilot

      It doesn't already have Bus Nutz?

    • studiosites

      grandiose newt would welcome any attention

  • Barb

    I wonder if his looking like the Michelin Man entitles him to a discount on new tires.

    • http://wonkette.com smokefilledroommate

      I was thinking they could just use him as a spare.

    • Barb
      • flamingpdog

        The only person(oid) whiter than Newt.

      • http://wonkette.com smokefilledroommate

        Newt on an even better day.

        • http://Wonkette.com DemmeFatale

          MY EYES!!!!

        • http://wonkette.com/ starfanglednut

          *calls therapist.

      • Crank_Tango

        Bibendum libel!

      • Biff

        Nunc est bibendum!

    • http://loljazzcatz.blogspot.com/ Chet Kincaid

      He simply reached into his abdomen and tossed 5 or 6 spares at the flats!

    • MissTaken

      If he goes to Les Schwab he can get some free beef. Although I'm sure he's getting plenty of beef in West Hollywood
      http://www.lesschwab.com/about

      • flamingpdog

        ♪ I saw a gecko with a Chinese GPS in his hand
        Walkin' through the streets of WeHo in the night
        He was lookin' for the place called Les Schwab Tires
        Gonna get a big dishing of beef real tight. ♪

        • http://wonkette.com/ FlownOver

          So sorry I can only upfist this once.

        • Dashboard Buddha

          I keep hitting the upfist button, but alas, I can only give you one.

      • Gunner Asch

        Here in eastern Oregon a job at Les Schwab is highly prized. Had a cowboy one time constantly muttering under his breath about how he "could'a had a job at Les Schwab" if it were not for some quirk of fate I now forget.

    • James Michael Curley

      Damn cataract. I was trying to figure out what Michelle Malkin had to do with new tires. Then it occurred to me, Rubbers.

      • Dashboard Buddha

        oh the pity that her father didn't use one.

  • http://wonkette.com smokefilledroommate

    Newt is a flat tire.

  • http://wonkette.com/ weej_bain

    Can Calistra put that tire between her knees instead of Foster Friess' aspirin?

    • vtxmcrider

      Nah, Callista is an adulterous whore. If someone tries to force her to keep her legs closed, she will just roll over and take it up the ass instead.

  • Hera Sent Me

    Remember Sherman McCoy, Newt. Don't hit a ghey with your bus on the way out.

    It won't work out well.

    • nounverb911

      Bonfire of the Inanities?

  • SudsMcKenzie

    Frankie says Relax, don't Newt it.

  • alzronnie

    "Flat tire in WeHo" is the new wide stance.

    • studiosites

      he completely blew it

  • Come here a minute

    The West Hollywood residents were just following the old saying, "If the bus is rocking, don't come knocking." (It was rocking because Newt was going from one bus bathroom to the other bus bathroom.)

  • JackObin

    Well, the bus certainly had excess weight on it.

  • smashedinhat

    Drama queen. Imagine the scrambling to get Newt and his pet viper into a secure SUV wagon train and away.

    Oh wait, no money!

    Har har!!

  • rickmaci

    Much like his campaign. No gas, tires flat.

    • http://wonkette.com smokefilledroommate

      I bet Newt has tons of gas.

  • BarackMyWorld

    I'm sure the transvestites kept bugging Callista for make-up tips.

    • SorosBot

      But I thought most of them prefer to look like human women, not birdlike aliens.

    • comptoneffect

      Tranny libel!

    • MissTaken

      If Coulter was with them the trannies could help her with hiding her Adam's apple.

  • flamingpdog

    It hasn't been a Goodyear so far for Newt.

    • SilverTsunami

      Best one yet!

    • memzilla

      But what Newt needs is a Goodrich year.

    • GeorgiaBurning

      Too bad the nearest Big O is in Santa Monica

  • MissTaken

    "Rebuilding The America We Love"

    One flat tire at a time.

    • SorosBot

      At least Newt's got a spare tire on him.

      • MissTaken

        Or four.

  • Mahousu

    Newt, throwing someone under the bus is a metaphor. You shouldn't really have done that to your pollster, even when he reported you are the most disliked politician in history.

    • Biel_ze_Bubba

      Yeah, well, "the wheels coming off" is supposed to be a metaphor too.

      For a historian, Newt sure gets a lot of this stuff wrong.

  • FannyBurney

    Memo to Newt: This is what happens when you borrow Sarah Palin's Tour to Nowhere Bus and put new shrink wrap on it.

  • Guppy

    Gingrich breaks down in West Hollywood, and Santorum makes an appearance. Film at 11.

  • DaRooster

    What about the debate?
    Is he gonna drop out too?
    (sorry… cancelled)

    Also, he should call that one Blah guy… he has a bus nEWt can borrow.

  • Man0nTheStreet

    PigNewton was looking for CPAC West!

    But at least the friendly gay Hollywood liberals re-filled his Santorum tanks, and used the excess to clean his bus windows inside and out…

  • littlebigdaddy

    He's scoring some tiger blood from Charlie Sheen?

  • bureaucrap

    His next big campaign event was going to be standing on the corner of Santa Monica Blvd. and Robertson and yelling "Hey you kids, stop getting married! That's just for us heteros!" at all the club kids.

    • http://www.southsidejohnny.com/ Jukesgrrl

      BEHAVE YOURSELVES!!!!

  • littlebigdaddy

    All I wanna do is have some fun
    I got a feeling I'm not the only one
    All I wanna do is have some fun
    I got a feeling I'm not the only one
    All I wanna do is have some fun
    Until the sun comes up over Santa Monica Boulevard

    • Biff

      Hope you sing that with the requisite sneer…

  • widestanceromance

    Worst pr0n plot ever.

  • SudsMcKenzie

    Did anyone ask him if he will allow gays on the moon?

  • SorosBot

    I kind of wish this could have happened to Michele Bachmann; just think how she would freak out being surrounded by all those gays with no way to run away.

    • BigDumbRedDog

      Michele has a panic room in the back of the bus in case of a lesbian attack. Marcus, however, would have the opposite reaction to weho.

      • SorosBot

        She really is paranoid, like she can catch the lesbianism from too much contact. Which makes me wonder if she, like Marcus, has some repressed desires that she refuses to admit to herself.

      • Negropolis

        I'd love if her bus had an ejection seat, and it shot her right out of the top. lol

    • MissTaken

      I'm sure Michele is surrounded by a gay man most nights. Well, at least when Marcus is at home.

      • SorosBot

        Just imagine what sex between those two is like; probably doggy-style, so that Marcus can imagine she's a strapping young man. Never in a position where he can see her face or breasts.

        • BigDumbRedDog

          I picture Marcus as the bottom in that relationship.

        • http://wonkette.com/ starfanglednut

          They have sex?

  • CapnFatback

    ♫ "I wish my bus didn't stop in Hollywood on our drive,
    My fantasy world is of cellulite villains and their third wives,
    Because cellulite villains never have to explain
    And cellulite villains never really diet." ♫

    • yyyaz

      It's a stretch, but a thousand thumbs up for a Kinks classic. Sniff (blows nose, wipes eyes.)

      • CapnFatback

        Trouser waistlines, wedding vows, the truth–what doesn't Gingrich stretch?

        • yyyaz

          Lessee, our patience? No, that's not it….credulity? Nix. The limits of good taste? Negative. … Wait, wait, it's coming to me now…..I've got it! Callista's cooter!!111!!!1

  • paris biltong

    Mean Sex Stigma

  • http://wonkette.com Chillwillard

    Isn't West Hollywood where Calligulista started her illustrious career?

    • Barrelhse

      They bronzed her favorite pole.

      • Man0nTheStreet

        But sadly, the bronzing wasn't enough to save it from erosion and collapse due to "a previous history of mucus membrane contact".

  • hagajim

    The Gheyz couldn't help, they were too busy trading fashion tips with Callista.

    • Tundra Grifter

      "Calista, Honey, that's not a 'hairdo,' that's a 'hairdon't!'"

      • RavenRant

        I was once on the receiving end of that line, uttered by one of the West Hollywood Cheerleaders.
        West Hollywood Cheerleaders

        • Tundra Grifter

          R2:

          Sorry to bring up a sad memory.

          When someone in real life uses a line like that, they have usually been saving it for a long time. And, more often than not, it is delivered in a somewhat inappropriate situation.

          Kind of like the way Ole Newt dishes out his zingers during the debates.

          • RavenRant

            I was actually in a skit with them for AIDS Project Los Angeles. I was the drab vanilla straight girl auditioning for the fabulous WeHo Cheerleader squad.

  • reginagreene

    Not fair. Newt wasn't out in Hollywood trolling for money. Hollywood brought him out because it needed a crackerjack historian.

  • Beowoof

    Newt cruising West Hollywood. Not really a surprise that another old republican is looking for gay sex.

  • V572 Flambé

    I hope the trees were the correct height, because the cars were probably not mostly American-made.
    http://www.cbsnews.com/8301-503544_162-57379098-5

    Wrong candidate? They all look alike, you know

  • mavenmaven

    He hid out in the GOP safe house, a lesbian bondage strip club.

  • Tundra Grifter

    Ole Newt was trying to cross the aisle and just about tipped that sucker on over.

  • EatsBabyDingos

    Hope it didn't make him late for the second day in a row. It's not the "Toady Re-Tardy Tea Party," is it?

  • http://wonkette.com ManchuCandidate

    Every day I turn on the TV (Too much, the Gingrich Bus)
    To see that fat ass that lies to you (Too much, the Gingrich Bus)
    I'm so nervous, I just sit and smile (Too much, the Gingrich Bus)
    His bus goes only one more mile (Too much, the Gingrich Bus)
    Thank you, driver, for stranding him there (Too much, the Gingrich Bus)
    You'll be an hero, have no fear (Too much, the Gingrich Bus)
    Newt'll just want to cause some fuss (Too much, the Gingrich Bus)
    But does anyone want to fix the Gingrich Bus? (Too much, the Gingrich Bus)
    Nooooooooo!

    • doloras

      You can buy the Gingrich Bus for ONE HUNDRED MILLION USA DOLLARS. Also, "Lean Six Sigma".

    • flamingpdog

      Who?

      • not that Dewey

        Indeed.

    • James Michael Curley

      You are so good at these song parodies. I was thinking "Not Goin' Mobile" but would take hours to do it.

  • owhatever

    When he heard the tire pop, he thought it was Callista's botox face exploding.

    • Radiotherapy

      I thought he thought it was her hair helmet cracking.

    • Barrelhse

      Or pussyfarts?

      Sorry.

      • Radiotherapy

        If the carpets match the drapes, so no need to apologize.

  • http://facethesuncastnoshadow.wordpress.com/ Mumbletypeg

    *pulls up MacPaint app*

    Wonkette judges, are you sure you wouldn't accept a drawing of Maher in & around Studio 33 laffing at these Newt-mobile hijinks instead? Suddenly Pope Ratz seems an insufficient, under-stimulating study.

  • Antispandex

    This is why the Newt wants to be President…your bus never breaks down. Oh, and the only gays you have to worry about are the Republican Congressmen who hang out in the public johns.

  • SayItWithWookies

    I'll bet Newt's army of grateful, joyous street urchins ran right out there and changed the tire lickety-split, with the alacrity and aplomb one would expect of little black children who've finally been taught how to show up for work in the morning.

    • Barrelhse

      Q. How fast is lickety-split?
      A. 69.

    • http://wonkette.com/ starfanglednut

      More upfisties if I had them.

    • Negropolis

      ROTFLMAO! That is so wrong. lol

    • yyyaz

      Ah yes, lickety-split at the crack of Dawn/Don.

  • Poindexter718

    Of course in no time, Newton cold ditched the bus for a younger, prettier and less sick bus.

  • http://wonkette.com/ FlownOver

    If he'd only been aboard Furthur with Kesey back in the day none of this would be happening.

    Instead, where's Cassady when we need him?

    • http://ifthethunderdontgetya.blogspot.com/ ifthethunderdontgetya
    • FakaktaSouth

      Holy shit. I had a dog named Cassidy after that GD song, but I haven't heard it in forevah. In 1988 I was 16 and fell in love with Neal Cassady and the idea of all the beats, the hippie freaks – it seemed like they were from some long ago romantic time when drugs were free and living on a bus, or just "on the road" would be fun. Like how some real young people think of Kurt Cobain now. Sorry. I just made myself sick.

    • James Michael Curley

      Neal Cassady is dead. Died in Mexico, walking along a rail road track shwinging his three pound sledge hammer; just like it is depicted in the epilogue of the paper back version of "Electric Kool-Aide Acid Test". Circumstances were shrouded in the usual Mexican manner of the period but those who were with him the night before said he was doing downers. Would be in the neighborhood of 95 if he were still alive.

      Kesey's dead. Further (Not Furthur you white suited, pretentious poofter) still sits on Kesey's property in Oregon. Without doing an internet search I don't know if its status has changed now that it is the star of the movie.

      • http://wonkette.com/ FlownOver

        Wiki this, you lit-phobic revisionist cretin:

        "The original bus had Furthur written in the destination sign for a brief period and Tom Wolfe called the bus Furthur in his book, The Electric Kool-Aid Acid Test."

        We devotees of Original Intent (and the occasional rhetorical question) reaffirm the previous comment.

        Love and kisses,
        FO

  • OneDollarJuana

    Now, let's be specific. Is Newt cleaning toilet rims, or giving rim jobs?

  • TheRiverCharley

    There is no way Newt's huge fucking head fits into that bus.

    • http://wonkette.com Chillwillard

      I can't tell which one is bigger: his head, his ego, or his tits.

      • Fukui_sanYesOta

        His hubris?

  • DahBoner

    Does this bus stop at the Santa Monica pier?

    If not, then there's gonna be a really big splash…

  • horsedreamer_1

    Searching for his sister, I'm sure.

  • ibwilliamsi

    I've been to LA, I've driven through LA. To be fair, I don't live there. Maybe someone can explain to me exactly where he might be trying to get to by driving through West Hollywood?

    • ShaveTheWhales

      That's a quite profound question.

    • Biff

      I think there's a certain lesbian bondage club frequented by other Republicans near there.
      Oh, look! http://voyeur7969.com/

      • Man0nTheStreet

        Callista had just finished a "One Night Only" VIP fundraiser there.

    • GeorgiaBurning

      burgers at Tommy's? (Not to be confused with "Tommies", "Tammies", "Timmies", etc)

    • fuflans

      well, the laugh factory is right nearby?

    • http://whatisawatthedevolution.blogspot.com imissopus

      Based on the direction the bus is pointed, conceivably he could have been headed for the 101 freeway so he could get the hell out of town as fast as possible.

    • Negropolis

      Maybe he was trying to get to Beverly Hills or Santa Monica? If you're in Hollywood proper, the most direct route is Santa Monica Boulvard or Sunset, which I think run right along West Hollywood. Or, if he was trying to get back to Hollywood from the west.

    • http://wonkette.com/ FlownOver

      The point?

  • http://www.storycorner.us/ JustPixelz

    This is how he's taking his campaign all the way to Tampa.

  • user-of-owls

    Gingrich…Everyone Laughs

    So it's safe to say his campaign has come full circle then, right?

  • Tommmcattt

    Waaaiiittt…I know I've been away a little while, but Newell is back? NEWELL!?!??!?

    Awesome.

    HAY JIM! SHOW US YOUR BUTT!

  • http://wonkette.com/ Sharkey

    When I get a flat tire, I change it myself. Just like Newt.

  • DrOzarkZ.Hellbender

    A broken-down campaign bus is the perfect example of what I mean by the rise of paganism.

  • AnAmericanInTO

    He was just checking out those sweet clubs that Michael Steele recommended on Yelp.

  • SheriffRoscoe

    This same thing happened in Priscilla, Queen Of The Desert. Only instead of West Hollywood, they broke down in Bumfuck Australia, and instead of Newt Gingrich, it was a bus full of drag queens.

    • IceCreamEmpress

      Bus Full Of Drag Queens 2012!

    • http://wonkette.com/ starfanglednut

      Other than that though, exactly the same.

    • Chichikovovich

      The fact is, it's a pretty hackneyed theme. Same thing happened in The Longest Day, except instead of West Hollywood, it was Normandy, and instead of a bus, it was a bunch of amphibious landing craft, and instead of breaking down they made it to the beach – most of them anyway – and instead of Newt Gingrich it was the American, British and Canadian Armies, and instead of a capstone bungle of a bungle-happy bungling campaign run by bunglers for the sake of a bungler, it was the most complicated coordinated military assault in history, and an astonishing success.

      But setting aside those differences this is an astonishing life-imitates-art moment.

      • http://whatisawatthedevolution.blogspot.com imissopus

        Weird. That sounds just like this video game I used to play.

      • http://wonkette.com/ FlownOver

        Potato, potato.

  • BaldarTFlagass

    Too much, Magic Bus.

    • Tundra Grifter

      They're all Bozos on that bus.

  • ElPinche

    He better put a ribbon around Callista's neck so he doesn't mix her up with the other sex blow-up dolls.

  • C_R_Eature

    Around front, the bus's Destination Sign said:

    NO FURTHER

    • yyyaz

      Trying to hold the names of Ken Kesey and the Newt in one's brain at the same time is just asking for trouble. The fat, pasty amphibian isn't worthy to light a Kesey fart.

    • James Michael Curley

      Just Further and not Furthur as was misapplied in Tom Wolfe's book "Electric Kool-Aide Acid Test." A second bus was done in the late 1980's by Kesey and both are sitting on the farm Kesey owned in Oregon when he was still alive.

  • fuflans

    i have heard some hollywood legend of some hollywood diva (davis? grable?) saying, (when asked by a starlet how to get ahead): "take fairfax".

    newt broke down a block away apparently.

    it's good to know hollywood kicks EVERYONE'S ass.

    • James Michael Curley

      The joke was "how do you get to Hollywood?" Take Fairfax! Which runs from Watts, across Wilshire Boulevard and into West Hollywood almost I always felt WeHo did not start until you got to the Roxy.

  • fuflans

    looks like newt's bus IS the metro.

  • SorosBot

    OT but good news: MSNBC has finally officially canned the giant racist ass Pat Buchanan:
    http://mediamatters.org/blog/201202160016

    • FakaktaSouth

      It's kinda neat to have Uncle Pat out and Rev Al in – sorta like low-grade payback for all that Nixon shit. You KNOW that it bugs that man…Don't I remember you saying that you didn't have cable or don't really watch TV or something at some point? That kinda stuff gives me a panic attack. Have you fixed that? Mostly I am so in love with Chris Hayes' show that I haven't been hating on GE's news outlet much. (I don't watch Morning Joe, ever.)

      • SorosBot

        Nah, don't have cable; have a digital antenna and I do watch some of that stuff online though. This softens the blow of Colbert suspending his show – it's because his 91-year-old mother is really sick, so both understandable and sad.

        • FakaktaSouth

          Ah man, I saw there was a family emergency preempting it all, I didn't know it was his Mama. I will hope for the best, especially since she's one of the people I truly appreciate in life, what with putting him on the planet and all.

        • ElPinche

          Wha? I did not know this. Awww, Colbert is such a sweetheart. (I'm not being sarcastic , FOR ONCE!!1!)

      • mayor_quimby

        Chris Hayes' show is almost a reason for me to wake UP! Early on weekends. almost
        I do DVR the shit out of it, and they are smart enough to rerun it during civilized times in place of Prison: Get Shanked

    • ElPinche

      Pat on FoxNews in 1,2,3…

      • horsedreamer_1

        No, Current, where all canned & disgruntled MSNBC personalities go.

    • http://littlegreenfootballs.com/article/39308_Breitbarts_Fans_Spew_Racism_Call_for_President_Obama_t glamourdammerung

      And of course, the party of personal responsibility blames the media for firing the moron due to his own actions.

  • Data Exactly

    Bus on loan from Lean Six Sigma.

  • rocktonsam

    betcha there was a Tiffiany';s within walking distance

  • onemoretime79

    It's a symbol. What it's a symbol of, I leave to your imagination. I had to log in to LMFAO and let y'all know, Wonkette rocks my world. I'm not so funny as many commentators here, but by god I'm practically in love with each & every one of the regulars. So merci, y'all. Always.

  • Negropolis

    Sure, it totally "broke down" in West Hollywood. How convenient. Looks like Newt has already tried the straight marriages, so he's moving onto to gay marriages. Why the hell not?

    I hope that his bus was fabulously vandalized. lol

  • MissNancyPriss

    If only it had ended with a coven of witches encircling the tour bus in fire, in a brutal automotive showdown between the Gingrich's and their cultist tormentors ala "Race with the Devil".

    • Radiotherapy

      Ah, 70's movies, where evil always wins in the end.

      • MissNancyPriss

        hollywood has never been that brave again

        • Radiotherapy

          I've always found it strange, and worthy of a few PhD dissertations, that the evil winning in the end ended with Raygun. Also, the whole torture genre, Saw, Hostel, etc. was prevalent during the Bushy the Younger years.

          • ShaveTheWhales

            I always thought it was obvious. Once we had Ronnie, how could any fictional ending be worse? What would be the point?

  • Smithboy

    He was paying a visit to kids cleaning the schools bathrooms.

  • DahBoner

    OK, so a man walks into a restaurant called Heart Attack Grill, orders the 6,000-calorie “Triple Bypass Burger,” and leaves on a stretcher…

  • ttommyunger

    When Newt was asked why it took five hours to replace the flat, he calmly replied: "You try changing a flat without bending over.".

  • elburritodeluxe

    Fun fact: Newt got the flat while rolloing over an ex-wife.

  • Troglodeity

    Please, somebody strap on some TruckNutz.