GREAT ZOMBIES OF OUR TIME  5:53 pm February 15, 2012

Rude Failure Larry Summers Is A Candidate For Another Top Job

by Jim Newell

blarrrghLet’s go through the last 15-20 years of perfect, brilliant top economist Larry Summers’ career: He joined Robert Rubin and Alan Greenspan in their successful attempt to tear down long-standing financial regulations and keep derivatives totally unmonitored as a Treasury official and then secretary during the Clinton administration, directly leading to the 2008 financial collapse; he became President of Harvard, where he was a total failure who was eventually kicked out; he made $20+ million giving bad advice and speeches to gullible financial firms; he returned to government to head President Obama’s economic team, where he was overbearing, crude to his colleagues, and incorrect about the depth and severity of the Great Recession; and then he went back to his plum sinecure at Harvard, where everyone hopes he will stay, quietly, forever. But oh, what’s that, the World Bank is in need of a new president? And who is at the top of the list?

Just look at the creativity shown in selecting candidates for this big ol’ job: Larry Summers and… who is this… Hillary something… Hillary Clintock… Hillary Chinten… Hillary Clinton, yes, that’s the person:

President Barack Obama may nominate Lawrence Summers, his former National Economic Council adviser, to replace Zoellick, two people familiar with the matter said last month. Secretary of State Hillary Clinton is also being considered, one of the people said.

Clinton has said she doesn’t plan to stay in her post if Obama wins a second term and plans to leave government.

“After 20 years — and it will be 20 years — of being on the high wire of American politics and all of the challenges that come with that, it would probably be a good idea to find out how tired I am,” Clinton told State Department employees during a town-hall meeting on Jan. 26.

We actually do believe Clinton’s people saying she has no interest in this job and just wants to leave town after Obama’s first term, to vacation for a week or so and then commence plotting her next move. And since it’s a post that doesn’t require Senate confirmation, that makes Larry Summers pretty much a given. (Because it’s a well-known fact that the super-genius most brilliant economist in history who is the only person capable of doing these top-level jobs, Larry Summers, would never be confirmed for any job by the United States Senate. This not something that should raise a red flag regarding his competence, we’re regularly told.)

The lack of long-term planning here is especially worrisome. Has anyone thought about what we’ll do in the future when Larry Summers is dead and no longer available to ruin our powerful institutions and global economy? Who will we look to then?


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BarackMyWorld February 15, 2012 at 5:55 pm

He also gave really bad advice to the Winklevoss twins, based on the premise Facebook wasn't actually worth anything.

Not_So_Much February 15, 2012 at 6:20 pm

Right? Plus, what a douche — both in real life and in that nonsensical re-imagining.

BarackMyWorld February 15, 2012 at 6:22 pm

Is that you, Mark?

Not_So_Much February 15, 2012 at 6:41 pm

No, and you can totes disregard all the really negative shit that's about to show up on your '' page…

Tilley February 15, 2012 at 9:37 pm

Who are you (your linky name thing leads to nothing, which seems odd), and why do you have a higher "p" value (whatever that is) than I do?

nounverb911 February 15, 2012 at 5:56 pm

“If at first you don't succeed, try again. Then quit. There's no use being a damn fool about it.”
–W.C. Fields

iburl February 15, 2012 at 5:56 pm

Has anyone thought about what we’ll do in the future when Larry Summers is dead no longer available to ruin our powerful institutions and global economy? Who will we look to then?

A chimp with a dart?

flamingpdog February 15, 2012 at 6:54 pm

Didn't Dubya already do enough damage between 2001 and 2009?

Loaded_Pants February 15, 2012 at 8:02 pm

No, it was Obammer in 2008 even before he was elected!

SorosBot February 15, 2012 at 10:52 pm

Just as FDR retroactively caused the Great Depression three and a half years before he took office.

KenLayIsAlive February 16, 2012 at 8:35 am

He was more of a chimp with a the world's most powerful military.

BlueStateLibel February 15, 2012 at 7:02 pm

Jim has written a lot of great stuff, but this has got to be his best line yet. Don't ever leave us again, Jim, sob.

comptoneffect February 15, 2012 at 9:51 pm

Analogy fail: you didn't consider the possibility that the chimp has a chance to hit the bullseye.

comrad_darkness February 15, 2012 at 10:32 pm

A misogynist chimp with a dart, thank you.

Negropolis February 15, 2012 at 11:19 pm

Typewriters, iburl; typewriters.

tessiee February 15, 2012 at 11:22 pm

The Koch Bros. will ruin our powerful institutions and global economy from beyond the grave — assuming that they're even dead by then.

chascates February 15, 2012 at 5:56 pm

And Donald Rumsfeld is a top candidate for NATO generalship.

nounverb911 February 15, 2012 at 5:57 pm

"If all economists were laid end-to-end — it would be a good thing."
– JK Galbraith

flamingpdog February 15, 2012 at 6:55 pm

Most economists are lucky to get laid – much less end-to-end.

MilwaukeeKent February 15, 2012 at 11:19 pm

Dorothy Parker Libel! On her libel of …Yale Co-eds? something like that.

tessiee February 15, 2012 at 11:24 pm

"If all the girls who attended the Yale Prom were laid end to end, I wouldn't be a bit surprised."

JackDempsey1 February 15, 2012 at 5:58 pm

Hillary vacations, but Larry Summers.

hilbillyheroine February 15, 2012 at 6:54 pm

That was my thought: Where exactly DOES Larry Summers SUMMER? Tehran? Moscow? South Beach?

MilwaukeeKent February 15, 2012 at 11:22 pm

Still doesn't answer what made Claire Booth Luce.
Someone had a long routine on these…Multi-upfists to you if I could.

RavenRant February 15, 2012 at 6:00 pm

God, I swear, just when I start liking Obama again – THIS!

WTF? How badly do you have to fail to be recognized as a failure? This grotesque parasite should be in a prison cell next to Blankfein and Dimon and about a thousand others.

Chichikovovich February 15, 2012 at 7:07 pm

How badly do you have to fail to be recognized as a failure?

Once you get into the "Serious Person" club and learn the secret handshake, it's impossible to get kicked out, apparently, no matter how many things you get flat wrong.

Also once all the cool kids decide you're not cool (which will happen if you don't pretend to believe their favored whoppers) it doesn't matter how many things you get dead on correct, they'll never pay attention to you. Witness Paul Krugman.

Really, we are being ruled by the student council of a Hollywood high school.

[Hey - and it's good to see you! I was missing your comments.]

HistoriCat February 15, 2012 at 9:06 pm

we are being ruled by the student council of a Hollywood Beverly Hills high school.

You pretty much nailed it – I just think you were off by a few miles.

RavenRant February 15, 2012 at 9:20 pm

I've been finding the news too enraging for snark. This birth control bullshit has me ready to go to war, and not in the metaphorical sense. The 'racist Fox comments on Whitney Houston's death' story was unsurprising, but sickening.

My hope is that the GOP nominates Frothy and he gets whipped like a red-headed stepchild, worse than Goldwater, throwing the party into the dumpster of history where it belongs. I want Republicans to be humiliated to such a degree they'll flee the public sphere. I have a dream.

One bright note was Cenk Uygur telling Breitbart to “Stop having gay sex in bathrooms!” I might have to put that in an endless loop to snap me out of my funk.

Tilley February 15, 2012 at 9:45 pm

Hi Raven! — so, what's this about Faux saying something racist about Ms. Houston? I must have missed that, making it a point to always avoid anything that emanates from that particularly viscous outlet/orifice.

RavenRant February 15, 2012 at 10:09 pm

Here's a link to 'little green footballs'. Charles Johnson, the founder of the site, is a former conservative who got disgusted with the racism on the right and became a liberal.

Warning: It is horrifying stuff.

Tilley February 15, 2012 at 9:47 pm

Also, PS: "Frothy" + "whipped"? I may never again eat anything that involves folded-in egg whites.

RavenRant February 15, 2012 at 10:07 pm

My apologies – that's a lot of goodies that will be off limits.

Perhaps a brisk scrubbing with brain bleach?

Chichikovovich February 15, 2012 at 9:51 pm

I understand – I'm also finding myself angrier and angrier. I was at a dinner party with a bunch of supposedly well-informed people the day after the Komen débacle ended with their supposed "cave". Chichikovna mentioned to the table that I had been seething about it (I figured I would just keep my own council on the subject so as not to ruin the mood, but dearest beloved finds it entertaining to see my ears turn red, apparently.) One woman – a professor of political science for Christ's sake! – said "but the good guys won, right? They backed down.", as if now we could accept that Komen had had an uncharacteristic and inexplicable spasm, and now all was forgiven and back to normal. Chichikovovich Gasket-Blowing Event ensued.

But the birth control stuff, the Catholic Church deciding to go all in on this when it's flank is so exposed by the constant stream of abuse revelations (cf: last week's revelations in the Milwaukee case), Santorum – Santorum! A character from The Handwives Tale – as Republican front-runner, is just insane. This is so obviously a losing hand that it's hard to see what the idea is. My best guess is that it's a combination of:

i) the Republican establishment finally losing control of the tiger they've ridden for so long (Krugman had it nailed in his oped a couple days ago. Bush's second campaign was Republican strategy for decades, in a nutshell. Campaign on saving the nation from gay-marrying muslim terrorist abortionists, and then after the paper-thin victory announce that you have a mandate to privatize Social Security. But the base wants to take control of the tiller now and the establishment doesn't know how to react.)

ii) Increased desperation as a result of the improving economy and the improving Obama approval numbers. As if they realize that they are staring into the abyss of a defeat of the scale you describe (oh, sweet, seductive dream) and they're launching a political Ardennes offensive – a desperate attempt to gain power to do something about the demographics against them – young and even middle aged voters don't care about gay marriage, Latinos a growing population, probably alienated for at least a generation. The Iraq catastrophe made the usual sabre-rattling less effective. But if they can get hold of enough power now, cripple the Democratic party contributors, put in place vote supression schemes, etc. they figure they might be able to keep on top. So the desperate one-time grab. But the most horrifying instincts are coming out starkly. They aren't even bothering with dog-whistles anymore ("teach blacks to want a job"? câlisse de câlisse ).

Man – now I'm getting all worked up. Reste calme, Chich….

Well, just wanted to say that the place is less fun for me when you're not posting, so I hope you don't stay away too much. An entertaining therapeutic angry rant is always acceptable substitute for snark, y'know.

RavenRant February 15, 2012 at 10:19 pm

Rants-R-Us. It is nice to be appreciated. Thanks!

I think the deep dark secret of the Wonkette snarkmeisters is our soft and tender hearts, and the supportive culture that flourishes in the comment threads.

Re: Komen. They are dead to me, whatever they do in the future. Hiring Ari Fleischer!?! And Brinker pays herself more in salary and perks than she was giving to Planned Parenthood in the first place.

I always hated that pink crap anyway.

MilwaukeeKent February 15, 2012 at 11:30 pm

I know AM radio is seriously losing it, the talkers were all up in arms today about a "Federal Lunch Inspector" somewhere seizing a kindergarten or daycare student's healthy sounding home-packed lunch for not being healthy enough and replacing it with "Three chicken nuggets". It sounds so bogus and implausible I may not bother with Snopes. They took a huge hit on the dust-up over Komen/Planned Parenthood combined with 3 percent of Catholics/Contraception and they know it. They've likely blown the female vote big-time. A second term looks more certain every day. I think you're right that they've lost control of the base.

ChernobylSoup February 15, 2012 at 6:01 pm

The World Bank is a hell of a post for a disciple of Greenspan. Developing markets are particularly well-known for their self-policing abilities.

DustBowlBlues February 15, 2012 at 7:21 pm

"Trust the market." That's a dog whistle for making the rich white folks richer.

Lascauxcaveman February 16, 2012 at 1:21 am

As a student of political strategy and a fan of 3D chess, I'm wondering at this moment why the Obama administration wants the world bank to fail publicly, decisively, fatally, catastrophically in the next few years

Chillwillard February 15, 2012 at 6:02 pm

I have the feeling that Bill wants Hillary to stay on the road…

weej_bain February 15, 2012 at 6:05 pm

Hopey, please reconsider. Leisure Suit Larry has better qualifications.

memzilla February 15, 2012 at 7:29 pm

Larry Fine has better qualifications. Including being dead.

tessiee February 15, 2012 at 11:28 pm

Larry the *Cable* Guy…

OK, no, that's going too far.

Local_Mojo February 15, 2012 at 6:05 pm

I have clearly not achieved a high enough level of incompetency.

Loaded_Pants February 15, 2012 at 8:07 pm

I think that's where I screwed up. Didn't make the right number of fuck-ups, I guess.

KenLayIsAlive February 16, 2012 at 8:44 am

It's not the quantity, its the depth of the shoddiness.

KenLayIsAlive February 16, 2012 at 8:43 am

I have achieved incredible feats of incompetence, and still nothing. So this Summers guy, he must be like, off the charts.

JudasPeckerwood February 15, 2012 at 6:06 pm

What, no prior stint at Goldman Sachs? It's like a missing front tooth in an otherwise perfect smile.

CapnFatback February 15, 2012 at 6:06 pm

Hell, from the looks of him, I wouldn't even put Summers in charge of my spank bank.

CapnFatback February 15, 2012 at 6:25 pm

I mean, if there's anywhere I don't need a laissez-faire hand.

PubOption February 15, 2012 at 9:59 pm

He reminds me of Sir Les Patterson

Schmannnity February 15, 2012 at 6:08 pm

Hillary just wants to be a stay at home wife and homemaker for Bill.

WhatTheHeck February 15, 2012 at 6:12 pm

Larry casts a big shadow. Literally. Everyone else gets obscured.

lochnessmonster February 15, 2012 at 6:13 pm

Is it me or does he look more like Jabba?

nounverb911 February 15, 2012 at 6:14 pm

Needs more Peter Principle.

Fukui_sanYesOta February 15, 2012 at 6:16 pm

Ah, it's this fool. The guy who, as President of Harvard, claimed that women couldn't do mathematics or science.

Fabiola Gianotti might want to have a word with him.

Mahousu February 15, 2012 at 6:33 pm

Here's an idea: put Hillary in charge, and make him her assistant. That would be entertaining.

Tilley February 15, 2012 at 9:50 pm

And poetic justice.

starfanglednut February 15, 2012 at 6:34 pm

I have a vagina,and I can do math and science perfectly well, so fuck off Summers, you arsehole.

Loaded_Pants February 15, 2012 at 8:13 pm

My existence proves that men are not necessarily better at math & science. I look at my bank statement & am completely confused by all those negative signs. And I still don't think I was "conceived" so much as having spontaneously generated in the backwoods where my father found me while he was deer hunting.

sharethegrief February 15, 2012 at 6:17 pm

Even though he does, he's too big to fail.

sezme February 15, 2012 at 6:17 pm

With Larry at the Word Bank and Dominique Strauss-Kahn at IMF, what could possibly go wrong?

Guppy February 15, 2012 at 6:25 pm

I was about to say that, since Strauss-Kahn is currently "between jobs," he'd be the perfect man for the job.

Chichikovovich February 15, 2012 at 7:11 pm

Strauss-Kahn is gone – Christine Lagarde is on the job now. Which is good, because if Summers tries any of his patented assholeishness on her, she will strangle him with her bare hands.

RavenRant February 15, 2012 at 10:23 pm

I have been curious about Lagarde. Not curious enough to actually do any research, but…

Is she good? Potentially strangling Summers suggests good things about her to me.

Negropolis February 15, 2012 at 11:26 pm

Well, she had been France's Finance Minister under Sarkozy and his prime minister. I'm sure she's real smart-like, but she's still a deficit/debts-focused conservative, even when the Western world economy is still fragile. She wouldn't exactly be a tea partier in her vociferousness if transported across the pond, but she'd still be a solid Republican in terms of where she'd focus, fiscally.

Chichikovovich February 15, 2012 at 11:28 pm

She's on the conservative side of the French political spectrum, but that's still quite liberal by US standards. Hard nosed and ruthlessly competent – worked for many years in Chicago for an investment bank there, so knows more about US finance than most euro finance ministers. Tough as nails – famously chewed out Hank Paulsen for irresponsibly putting the world financial markets at risk (fx. by allowing Lehman to go bankrupt) without so much as acourtesy call to the finance ministers of the countries who would go down if the US did. Was an Olympic calibre athlete in her youth (French Synchro swimming team).But I don't know that much about her myself, just what I heard from my French-French friends when she was being considered as a replacement for DSK at the IMF. She was known to have left many a French political backside withstilettoheel marks.—

Rotundo_ February 15, 2012 at 6:17 pm

Considering the talent they have had there in the past, he will fit right in. Summers is the stereotype of the sort that gets a gig like this. I wonder what the next step up in promoting fail for him will be: Pope Larry or perhaps just direct appointment to the right side of Gawd! The Father!

Not_So_Much February 15, 2012 at 6:18 pm

How does this fat pantload of always-wrong have even a shred of credibility?

Fuck him. Fuck Rubin. Banish them to an island and let them experiment with a coconut-based economy.

HateMachine February 15, 2012 at 7:45 pm

If there's one thing I've learned from watching Washington, it's that if you run around yelling about how important of an expert you are on a given subject, people will believe you.

This is usually in spite of, or sometimes even because of, mountains of evidence to the contrary.

Loaded_Pants February 15, 2012 at 8:15 pm

That's it, I'm movin' to DC!

DerrickWildcat February 15, 2012 at 6:19 pm

Boooo, to that bad guy featured on Wonkette!

JackObin February 15, 2012 at 6:19 pm

This nation leads the world in excessive chins. It appears just about everyone is one burger away from a fatal heart attack. This Summers lipid is no exception. Maybe it would help this inert citizenry to have physically fit leaders.

Tilley February 15, 2012 at 10:55 pm

Or, not. They may die off more quickly that way.

RavenRant February 15, 2012 at 10:57 pm

Michelle Obama for Fearless Leader!

PuckStopsHere February 15, 2012 at 6:20 pm

Larry Summers? Why do you think it's called Disaster Capitalism?

johnnyzhivago February 15, 2012 at 6:20 pm

If he does to the world what he did to us – WE WIN!!!

BigDumbRedDog February 15, 2012 at 6:21 pm

His spectacular success at failing will be an inspiration for generations of failures to come.

Fukui_sanYesOta February 15, 2012 at 6:23 pm

He got caught channeling Charlie Sheen:

"I'm an AMC Gremlin, man, I've got sloth blood! FAILING!"

Loaded_Pants February 15, 2012 at 8:17 pm

Do you mean future Presidents?

SorosBot February 15, 2012 at 11:05 pm

She knows there’s no success like failure
And that failure’s no success at all

Radiotherapy February 15, 2012 at 6:21 pm

I hear Karen Handel is on the short list as well.

SayItWithWookies February 15, 2012 at 6:27 pm

Just because people with money are usually smug assholes doesn't mean that if you need money looked after a smug asshole is the person to choose. Especially when his mentor has gone on record repudiating his entire worldview. Can't they find someone who hasn't destroyed whole national economies and millions of lives to run this shit?

HogeyeGrex February 15, 2012 at 6:49 pm

For some reason this reminds me of an old Tucker Max bit about leaving a club bathroom after a combination of explosive diarrhea, vomit and drunken aim, and saying to the line waiting “I am Shiva, Destroyer of Worlds.”

I'm not sure whether Summers is the shit or the vomit in this scenario, but it hardly matters.

Angry_Marmot February 15, 2012 at 6:32 pm

Damnit, Barry, this is why we can't have nice things.

ManchuCandidate February 15, 2012 at 6:33 pm

Summers is proof that you can't stop shit floating to the top.

V572 Flambé February 15, 2012 at 6:33 pm

When LBJ had to solve The Robert McNamara Problem (seems his Romney-esque MBA skills were of little value in running DoD or winning a war), he made him president of the World Bank, or maybe it was just head teller. In any case, Summers will be following in a great tradition of being kicked upstairs. It's all a question of body count, as usual.

Joshua Norton February 15, 2012 at 6:38 pm

All this time I thought he was the same dude who published Hustler magazine.

Lionel[redacted]Esq February 15, 2012 at 6:43 pm

Maybe we could send Ron Paul to the World Bank, just to see the conspiracy theorists minds blow?

donner_froh February 15, 2012 at 6:44 pm

The World Bank is a bloated, incompetent institution whose policies keep the worst Third World kleptocrats in power. They fund environmentally disastrous mega-projects while excluding smaller, more efficient undertakings that would actually help the extremely poor.

Sounds like a perfect job for Larry Fuckwitz Summers.

DustBowlBlues February 15, 2012 at 7:26 pm

donner–Most brilliant and erudite description I've ever heard of the World Bank. Kudos to you.

Negropolis February 15, 2012 at 11:29 pm

Yeah, many people have in their minds that it's some kind of egalitarian, public good operation, when it's about as much a commercial bank gussied up as a utility than anything else.

BaldarTFlagass February 15, 2012 at 6:45 pm

What is it with these people? They're like NFL or NBA coaches. Don't they ever go away?

V572 Flambé February 15, 2012 at 7:35 pm

Ultimate Leader Mike Shanahan approves of your comment.

Chichikovovich February 15, 2012 at 8:16 pm

Larry Summers: The Marty Schottenheimer of economics.

flamingpdog February 15, 2012 at 6:45 pm

What, The Donald isn't available?

Biel_ze_Bubba February 15, 2012 at 6:49 pm

Considering some of the other bozos who've held the job (Paul Wolfowitz, Robert McNamara), the bank seems to be relatively immune to incompetence at the top. It was probably carefully designed to run itself, by people who knew that a parade of well-connected stooges would be rotating through the corner office.

Chichikovovich February 15, 2012 at 8:24 pm

Good point. Summers needs to be one of the architects of at least one unnecessary, catastrophic US military invasion/disaster before he will have the obligatory credentials for World Bank service. Looks like we'll just have to go with Rumsfeld.

jaytingle February 15, 2012 at 6:56 pm

Don't let's get confused. Inability to win approval in the US Senate may be regarded as a sign that one might actually be qualified. Besides nobody will be able to run the World Bank as effectively as Paul Wolfowitz. Ya gotta love these serial failures.

DahBoner February 15, 2012 at 7:01 pm

"…he returned to government to head President Obama’s economic team, where he was overbearing, crude to his colleagues, and incorrect about the depth and severity of the Great Recession…"

You left out the part where he slipped massive quanitities of Date Rape drug in the White House Human Resources water cooler…

BlueStateLibel February 15, 2012 at 7:06 pm

Entrusting Larry Summers with anything to do with finance or economic policy is like hiring Lindsay Lohan to babysit your five-year old and hoping she doesn't get high or drunk.And with both, you know there's guaranteed to be a crisis and tears sooner or later.

weej_bain February 15, 2012 at 7:27 pm

Or perhaps having the Boy Scouts appoint Penn State's Jerry Sandusky as a Cubmaster.

Please show us on this balance sheet doll where Mr. Summers…

ifthethunderdontgetya February 15, 2012 at 7:12 pm

♪ Sometimes I feel like I been tied to the Newell post…
Good lord, I feel like I’m dyin’ ♫

P.S. For the halibut.

Tilley February 15, 2012 at 10:00 pm

I just saw an ad in my Facebook page margin that Gregg Allman's got an autobiography (titled "My Cross To Bear") coming out in May. I may have to break down and go to the evil Amazon and pre-order.

coolhandnuke February 15, 2012 at 7:17 pm

Remember that Beverly Hillbillies episode where Mr Drysdale puts Jethro in charge of the bank instead of Miss Hathaway…substitute Hillary for Miss Jane and Summers for Ellie Mae's chimp and viola.

Blueb4sunrise February 15, 2012 at 7:25 pm

Ellie Mae's chimp and viola.
somethin…. somethin….

SayItWithWookies February 15, 2012 at 11:37 pm
Chichikovovich February 15, 2012 at 8:33 pm

Was that the one where Granny was mad at cousin Pearl and Cousin Jethrine played the piano, then Ellie got in a shootin' contest with her squirrely rifle and Jethro got some crazy idea and Jed said "Someday I gotta have a looooong talk with that boy" and Mr. Drysdale makes all those funny faces?

I love that episode.

flamingpdog February 16, 2012 at 1:35 am

That was every episode.

hagajim February 15, 2012 at 7:22 pm

I swear to God that the way the financial system works in this country is that the bigger a fuck up you are the more important job they give you. IMHO Larry Summers ought to be shoveling the shit out of the horse stalls at some bodega racetrack – because he seems to know shit really well.

Tilley February 15, 2012 at 10:02 pm

I think it's called "The Peter Principle." IMHO, if actual hard work = $$, the goddess/woman who cleans my house should be a millionaire, not shitheads like this guy.

starfanglednut February 15, 2012 at 7:25 pm

If this asshole starts running around and privatizing things in the 3rd world as a condition for obtaining loans, a lot of people will suffer. There's a subsidiary of Bechtel that has bought wells in Africa, and then charged the villagers (who dug the fucking well) $.25 of the $1 per day they live on, for water.

Tilley February 15, 2012 at 10:04 pm

Fuckers. That kind of shit makes me actually wish I wasn't an atheist, so I could believe that when horrid people like this die they might actually finally get what they deserve.

Monsieur_Grumpe February 15, 2012 at 7:30 pm

The Peter Principle is true!

By the way, has anyone figured out why my Wonkette keeps jumping back to the top everytime I click my mouse?

Blueb4sunrise February 15, 2012 at 7:35 pm

Something's fucked up.

Fukui_sanYesOta February 15, 2012 at 7:39 pm

Using Firefox allegedly fixes that problem.

Radiotherapy February 15, 2012 at 11:20 pm

SOPA beta-testing. Forgetta 'bout it.

Slim_Pickins February 15, 2012 at 7:31 pm

If Larry and Newt were in a room together, how would you decide who the smartest guy in the room is?

Tilley February 15, 2012 at 10:05 pm

Easy — "Neither of them, Katie!"

C_R_Eature February 15, 2012 at 10:16 pm

I'd walk in and raise my hand. But I'm just a smartass like that.

Biel_ze_Bubba February 15, 2012 at 10:58 pm

1. Fill the room right up to the ceiling with water.
2. Wait 60 minutes.
3. Flip a coin: Heads, it was Larry, tails, it was Newt.

tessiee February 15, 2012 at 11:35 pm

You shoot Newt, and then you shoot him again to make *absolutely sure* that he's dead.
Oh, wait, that wasn't what you asked, was it?
Meh *shrug*, I'm sticking with my answer anyway.

flamingpdog February 16, 2012 at 1:39 am

If Larry and Newt were in a room together, and Chris Christie walked into the room, they'd better hope the room is on the first floor, with no basement.

arcadesproject February 15, 2012 at 7:32 pm

Larry looks kinda unhealthy to me. Phisically as well as mentally and spiritually. Maybe he'll have a heart attach and drown in his ice water at some fancy World Bank Dinner celebrating penury and hunger for lots of people who are not in the room.

DustBowlBlues February 15, 2012 at 7:35 pm

Just like Paul Wolfowitz, the Iraq war's biggest cheerleader. My favorite quote about Wolfowitz is from an anonymous retired army officer Thomas Ricks' book, "Fiasco."

"[Wolfowitz] is dangerously ideological and crack-smoking stupid."

owhatever February 15, 2012 at 8:02 pm

He was pretty good in Social Network, snarking on the Vandergoof twins.

ttommyunger February 15, 2012 at 8:33 pm

I know Barry's 'nads are locked in somebody's desk drawer, I just don't know whose. I'm guessing they are in the general vicinity of Wall Street, NY, NY. What a fucking shame!

voodooeconomics February 15, 2012 at 8:42 pm

Fuck !!!

chascates February 15, 2012 at 8:43 pm

Poor Callista must be better at blowjobs and jewelry shopping than public speaking:

Reading from handwritten notes and stumbling at times through her five-minute remarks, she explained that her time on the trail has been met with both criticism and warmth.
“It has been very encouraging to meet so many people who generally believe in the greatness of our country,” she said. “Newt and I are engaged in this race because we believe America is at a crossroads.”
Gingrich then posed for photos in a blue-skirt and gold jewelry as the roughly 25 attendees filed past, even taking a few questions from reporters, chatting first about the burgers.

Tilley February 15, 2012 at 10:08 pm

In fairness, when she negotiated her agreement to actually be married to Newt, speaking aloud was not in her job description.

Man0nTheStreet February 15, 2012 at 10:57 pm

In fact, Callista is soooo good at blowjobs and jewelry shopping that she usually does both simultaneously – and as well as the various Mrs. Trumps!

SorosBot February 15, 2012 at 11:13 pm

Gah! Why didn't you warn us there was a picture? God that thing is hideous.

Sassomatic February 15, 2012 at 8:57 pm

Once you've risen to the level of your own incompetence, you just sort of bobble around up there, like a hot air balloon bumping up against failure over and over.

Tilley February 15, 2012 at 10:10 pm

Best description I've seen yet of the Peter Principle in motion. Nicely done!

Veritas78 February 15, 2012 at 9:02 pm

Ahem… everyone here at Harvard is being reeeally quiet, hoping that this will actually happen and we will at long last be rid of our local poster child for Asperger's. We know we haven't treated the rest of the world so well lately (okay, for 375 years), but if you could do us this one tiny favor we promise to go away and rule the world verrry quietly thank you amen also.

Tilley February 15, 2012 at 10:13 pm

Hey Harvard, ix-nay on the Asperger's "humor." You never know whom you might be offending with such jocularity. Just sayin'.

Radiotherapy February 16, 2012 at 12:01 am

Harvard’s Original Motto:
“Veritas Christo et Ecclesiae”
Truth for Christ and the Church

This motto has been abandoned
for the shorter:

This has been further modified to:

slowhansolo February 15, 2012 at 9:04 pm

See the hookers and the heaps of blow, in the evening on a Friday night
Rubin's lips and the safe word, let me know everything is alright

Summers' sleaze makes me feel fine, leaking from the hole in Summers' hind
Summers' sleaze makes me feel fine, leaking from the holes in Summers' mind

Feed the paper through the shredder, and foreclosure on the house next door
So I walked on up to the doorstep, through the screen whisper "fuck you, you're poor"

Summers' sleaze makes me feel fine, leaking from the hole in Summers' hind
Summers' sleaze makes me feel fine, leaking from the holes in Summers' mind

Sweet days of pillage, the smartest in the room
Obama's dressed up, and playing their tune
And I profit from your hard day's work
while you shoulder every care in the world

Now you've lost the family kitchen, no food cookin' and the bills are due
Disaster cap'lism, it will make you blue

Summers' sleaze makes me feel fine, leaking from the hole in Summers' hind
Summers' sleaze makes me feel fine, leaking from the holes in Summers' mind

flamingpdog February 16, 2012 at 1:45 am

Amazing! Larry Summers actually assisted in improving somethin lame.

C_R_Eature February 15, 2012 at 9:12 pm

Why is it that we do these things to ourselves? If the purpose is having people in positions that will be guaranteed to achieve Spectacular Failure, why not just appoint Charlie Sheen?

1. More Entertaining
2. Cheaper.
3. At least, we'll be Winning
4. I forget. Cocaine is a helluva drug. Maybe that was it?
5. Charlie would probably cause far less global economic damage. He'd be passed out most of the time.

Anything I forgot?

Sharkey February 15, 2012 at 9:40 pm

6. Pornstar girlfriends are the engines of the new economy.

C_R_Eature February 15, 2012 at 9:51 pm

Thank you! How could I have forgotten Pornstar Girlfriends?

Porn is a noble, upstanding, globally useful career. Unlike laissez-faire Ideologue Harvard Economists.

tessiee February 15, 2012 at 11:37 pm

Charlie's more attractive to look at (like *that's* difficult!).

C_R_Eature February 15, 2012 at 11:42 pm

If I had a choice between Larry Summers and looking at a living warthog thrown into a burning septic tank I'd take the warthog. Every time.

coolhandnuke February 15, 2012 at 9:22 pm

With this new appointment, Larry will finally land that much coveted and lucrative endorsement deal with Summer's Eve. Their douche nozzle will be re-named Larry.

tessiee February 15, 2012 at 11:37 pm

…And the bag it came in.

Jukesgrrl February 15, 2012 at 9:24 pm

How dare Obama consider that loser? He couldn't possibly pick his nose and suck his comb as effectively as Paul Wolfowitz did.

Sharkey February 15, 2012 at 9:29 pm

Anyone with a passing interest in animals should be very intent on putting Larry down.

Millennial Malaise February 15, 2012 at 10:27 pm

Well, he must be doing something right. It's just not for our benefit. Sorry to see you go, Larry! I pray for all the emerging markets you'll be ripening for plunder by your value-sucking douchebag banker friends.

/takes off tin foil hat

chascates February 15, 2012 at 10:28 pm

The World Bank and the IMF are America's financial ninjas, leading the neoliberal idea of capitalist domination of other economies. Financial problems in your country? Bailouts are available only if you privatize all state-held industries (to our friends), eliminate labor laws and safety nets, and let the invisible hand of the free market pick your pocket.

Democrat or Republican, leftist or rightwing, monetary control is the end goal.

Man0nTheStreet February 15, 2012 at 10:34 pm

Y'a know, Summers only took the Hahrvarhd gig so he could have 3-ways with the Winklevoss twins – Twins, people – TWINS!

MilwaukeeKent February 15, 2012 at 11:32 pm

Yeah, we know it…but he's OUR devil…ahem

Negropolis February 15, 2012 at 11:34 pm

OT: Santorum is leading in every Michigan poll, now. This is a thing of beauty. So, Romney parachutes into Grand Rapids, a few hours back, just stringing together random bullshit and just cold bashing the UAW…and everyone has seen through it. There is even a new poll out for the general showing that Obama leads Romney in Michigan by 16%. That's by nearly as much as he won the state by in 2008. Swing state, my ass.

tessiee February 15, 2012 at 11:39 pm

I have a feeling that as much as the general population dislikes Romney (and he doesn't exactly warm anybody's cockles, does he?), everyone in Michigan knows him better, and thus, dislikes him exponentially more.

Chichikovovich February 15, 2012 at 11:56 pm

Also a massive miscalculation to go after UAW in Michigan. Not just because they have such a large presence here, but because everyone with even passing familiarity with the successfully escaped-from (let's hope) auto crisis knows exactly how much the Big Three owe to the UAW for (among many other things) taking all of the health care obligations off of their hands, getting just a pittance in return. The UAW leaders risked getting roasted alive by their members, but people realized that it was that or goodbye Big Three.

News and Business radio in Michigan covered the various negotiations between the unions and the companies scrupulously. Just driving the kids to school and back, I got daily detailed updates. As did everyone else in Michigan, Because we all knew that the economy of the entire state was hanging on what happened. And anyone who doesn't regard the UAW as one of the heroes of the story either wasn't paying attention at all, or is so blinded by anti-union sentiment that no facts can penetrate. There are some such people in Michigan, as there are everywhere. But you're not going to come close to winning even a Republican primary here if you make a huge pitch for them, at the cost of losing everybody else. You can get away with lying about the UAW's role in the bailout if you're talking to people in Alabama. But here in Michigan, everybody is intimately familiar with what went down.

Negropolis February 16, 2012 at 9:09 am

This is the truth.

BTW, apart from the sacrifices the UAW made during the restructuring people either forget or never knew that the UAW had been giving things back to management for nearly a decade before the crisis hit. Early in the previous decade they did pension reform with the Big Three, and during the mid-decade they did retiree health care reform (the VEBAs) with them. By the time the crisis hit, the UAW had nearly defanged itself save the rare strike or two. The union knew that given that the US didn't have single payer that they had to compromise with the companies who essentially had been healthcare companies selling cars on the side.

Even a lot of conservatives, here, have a hard time saying with a straight face that the UAW did the Big Three in. You'll still here it, but only from the politicians who know they can work the rubes. Serious conservatives simply steer clear of the issue of they give it a bit more nuance.

ElPinche February 16, 2012 at 1:12 am

Wait till they get a LOAD of Santorum.

Radiotherapy February 15, 2012 at 11:47 pm

♪ ♫ Summer's Crimes
When the livin' is easy ♪ ♫

imissopus February 16, 2012 at 2:27 am

Meh. Talk about a thin story. The reporter spoke to "two people familiar with the matter…last month." Familiar with the matter? Could have been a bureaucrat in the Treasury Department repeating gossip, or a VP at Harvard hoping to get rid of Summers. Save your venom for a more solid story.

FlownOver February 16, 2012 at 10:05 am

Summers could qualify easily as "two people."

lulzmonger February 16, 2012 at 2:53 am

The Scum Also Rises.

SpiderCrab February 16, 2012 at 8:09 am

If the Norwegians hadn't elevated this shitbag to Nobel-God status, he would have stayed embedded in Harvard's economics department, where his potential to do harm was minimal. Damn 'wegians.

KenLayIsAlive February 16, 2012 at 8:49 am

I was watching a debate involving him and Krugman. When he comes up with a good thought, he has this really bad habit of rubbing his hands together like a fly about to bite into a particularly juicy turd.

It takes about two seconds of watching this to realize he is just a revolting human being, who has all the social appeal of an earwig.

Negropolis February 16, 2012 at 8:56 am

OT: GM records its highest profit ever: $7.6 billion

It's a bit of mixed news in that the European operation is struggling, and just yesterday, GM announced it was freezing the pensions of all its pre-2001 salaried/white collar workers and switching them to a 401(k)-type dealy (white and blue collar workers, alike, after 2001 are already put in these plans). But, it gives the company some room to work with, and the unions — who've taken a good kick to the balls for a good decade — a bit of an argument during future negotiations. It was also announced that salaried workers would be given large bonuses instead of a pay raise given than GM is still a little shakey about what's going to happen in the near future.

Anyway, things are looking cautiously optimistic, and it makes the Republicans look really bad for continuing to flog to death the bailout. There are two columns in the conservative-as-hell Detroit News, today, where even they concede it's stupid for conservatives to re-litigate the auto loans.

Tilley February 15, 2012 at 10:29 pm

whoa — LGF's Charles Johnson has repented/found Jesus? Wow, am I behind on my blogosphere. Will click, as long as you promise I won't get the horrific graphic/audio assault it once had for unsuspecting innocents.

Tilley February 15, 2012 at 10:34 pm

Nah, it's good. I set my wingnut filter to include recipes.

RavenRant February 15, 2012 at 10:38 pm

He's actually ferocious in taking down his former allies. Fun reading.

Don't know about the graphic/audio assault. Doesn't happen on my browser (Safari).

Tilley February 15, 2012 at 10:52 pm

I've previously posted on my animus toward all things Komen, so won't do it again here, but yes, they are the primary corporative whoremongers of breast cancer and I hope that they die, and their death will come soon, to paraphrase Bob Dylan.

RavenRant February 15, 2012 at 10:55 pm

And to quote another angry songwriter, once they're buried we can 'Tramp the Dirt Down."

Chichikovovich February 15, 2012 at 11:40 pm

Yeah, turned out it was a nearly complete fabrication. There was some special program for supplementary, healthy food, and the food was given in addition to the regular lunches, at no point was anything taken away, etc. I can't remember the precise details but really, what's the point – once again the rule prevails: if it sounds too insane to be true, then it isn't. (Unless it's something done by a Republican politician or mouthpiece, in which case it sadly almost surely is true.)

Edit: Here's a good de-bullshitting of the whole thing.

MilwaukeeKent February 16, 2012 at 2:46 am

So much "Cry Wolf" to this crowd. A parking lot fight in St. Louis between a a flag-and-button vendor and an SEIU member means "purple-shirted SEIU thugs" menacing Tea Partiers nationwide, two goofballs at a polling place in Philly means New Black Panthers intimidating voters at every location. They carried on like they finally had enough to impeach Obama.

RavenRant February 16, 2012 at 3:36 pm

Yeah, it took a jury 40 minutes to dismiss Kenneth Gladney's bullshit.

I wish I could remember who coined the phrase "Fraudney King" to describe him. I think it was a fellow Wonketteer.

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