Oh dude what is this? Wisconsin union-krushing Gov. Scott Walker cannot join Barack Obama today on his exciting journey through the Milwaukee Master Lock factory because he has the stomach flu. He has… the stomach flu. “Still recovering from a nasty case of the flu,” he wrote, today. Hmm.
He clearly does not have the flu. No one has the stomach flu. Those people who have the stomach flu and tell you they can’t go somewhere? Those people were making it up because they don’t like you. That time you had the stomach flu and told those people you couldn’t go with them somewhere? You were making it up. Yes, you were. No one has ever had to cancel anything because they had the stomach flu.
Okay maybe he is sick — we completely made up that last paragraph — but he’s probably been looking for an excuse to get out of this awkward sidecar-bitch situation:
Obama’s visit is intended to highlight an economic success story in a state that continues to lose private sector jobs. In his state of the Union address he touted Master Lock, a unionized company that has brought back 100 jobs from China.
[HuffPo]
{ 133 comments }
Walker must have heard about the finger incident at the White House
Also, I think Barry was gentleman enough to let Jan wag her finger in his face, but I'm pretty sure he would have snapped Scottie's finger right off…at the shoulder.
I would pay to see this!
The invitation sent to Walker was wrapping a fish.
I thought Rahm Emanuel didn't work there any more.
There is no such thing as stomach flu. It's always food poisoning. Scott should get himself a taster. Who could we nominate for that job?
I blame Walker. No one told him to buy that bottle of Santorum's Steak Sauce.
A-2 Sauce?
So THAT'S what Caesar was saying to Brutus!
A-Nus Sauce. Oops, should have left that comment on the previous thread.
That's a one size fits all comment, good for any thread.
A union food taster. Those free-lancers don't have the same pride in their work.
Hitler!
What? Oh, sorry… wrong meme.
"Scott should get himself a taster. Who could we nominate for that job?"
Chris Christie?
Of course, he'd eat up *all* the food, and Scott would starve to death, so… hmm, ya know what? That could work.
"Scott should get himself a taster. Who could we nominate for that job?"
If we're going for the naughty sex meaning of "taster", I suggest we have Rick Perry and Rick Santorum fight for the job. We could call it The Battle of Ricks for Pricks.
"Scott should get himself a taster. Who could we nominate for that job? "
*waves hand eagerly*
Ooh! Me! Me! Pick me! I want to tase him till he flops like a catfish!
Oh, "tasTer".
Never mind.
I hope Scotty boy gets the finest healthcare that unionized doctors and nurses can provide him.
"I hope Scotty…"
… has health insurance?
… gets a transvaginal probe to be sure he understands the flu?
… has a full recovery during his upcoming retirement?
Maybe he is sick from a recalled chicken. You are what you eat.
I think he might be afraid of the black man, this is the political equivalent of crossing the street.
I'm picturing this.
I'm not touching that link!
Perfectly harmless.
Dammit, I was going to use that excuse to play hookey on Friday. I have run out of dead relatives funerals to attend.
He's defecating in terror!
He totally mitt all over himself.
Obama: "No problem, Scott! I'll just swing on by your house and leave you some of Michelle's tummy-calming chicken soup! I really want to have a photo op with you, and I don't get up to Wisconsin nearly as much as I'd like!!"
Walker: "uhhhh, uhhhh…"
You'd think that smarmy bastard would want to meet with Obama, in order to pass on the stomach flu to the Kenyan usurper. That would improve his standing in the wingnut world.
Sounds like Governor Walker got a bad case of scabbies.
Sounds likeGovernor Walkergotis a bad case of scabbies.(fixed)
Stomach flu is very common.
If I had a Cayman Islands bank account for every time one of my dates came down with the stomach flu at the last minute, I'd be against the Buffet Rule.
New union jobs in state where you are trying to destroy unions? I would be sick to my stomach too. Pussy.
Chicken Soup For The Soon To Be Recalled Governor's Soul
Chicken Shit Pussy Mother Fucker!!
(Oh… and Douche)
A million upfists to you.
You forgot "cross-eyed Kochsucker".
My coward has a first name,
it's "S-C-O-T-T"…
"Scott Walker Is Sick…..". FIXED!
He probably caught a virus from Koch sucking.
Of all the Kochimanie excuses…
Venereal Flu – it'll fuch you up
Walker musta caught the maquiladora flu from some Messican.
He is an invalid.
"Srsly, Obi, I'm ill and my immune system is weakened and I just don't want to take a chance, on top of all my other problems, of catching a case of the blahs from you."
Unions brought back 100 jobs from China? This is going to hurt the Koch bros' dividend returns. Why are they making the job creators suffer so?
In the governor's defense, he did mention at dinner last night that he thought the suckling infant tasted a bit "off."
Apparently never heard the old adage, Eat shit and die Walker.
Scott Walker should just borrow one of Vitter's diapers and get the hell back to work.
Brought back 100 union jobs to America from China??? Sounds like somebody didn't get the message.
Did they get to keep their yellow shirts?
Why does Master Lock hate America?!?
His stomach got filled with the bile he had to swallow at the way Obama cornered him.
No kidding. He's too sick to hold public office too, but that didn't stop him.
No one with a pair of eyes that beady and saturnine can convince me they've come down with anything prohibiting him from meeting the President except the Moronic Plague.
My son uses the sick stomach excuse when he doesn't want to go to school. I did the same at his age (except more often) but neither of us is the governor or a State being visited by POTUS.
My mom's cure for that was… flat Coke. Where the hell did that come from?
Coca-cola syrup over ice chips was my mom's cure all. Remember Paregoric?
Coca-Cola was originally designed as a cough syrup, but during the first batch production, the creator accidentally added carbonated water to the mixture instead of distilled. Once Coke took off as a soft drink, he started spreading the (complete lie) that the carcinogenic can of chemicals was super duper healthy too because it was originally supposed to be medicine. Kind of like how Corn Flakes are healthy for you because they were originally designed to stop masturbation (dead serious).
Corn Flakes stops masturbation?
That's bullshit. Or so I've heard.
Dr. Kellogg's bowel is immaculate. Cannot speak to his prostate.
Saltine crackers and 7-up here. Walker already has enough whiteness in his life, though.
<DIV>Did she make you snort it? Ha, ha. </DIV> <DIV>Flat coke is the gentiles' chicken soup.</DIV> <DIV style="FONT: 10pt arial">
This is what happens when I answer by email. WTF? What I meant was:
Did she make you snort it? Ha, ha.
Flat coke is the gentiles' chicken soup.
Dear President Obama:
Please excuse my son Scott today. He has a tummy ache.
Sincerely,
His Mother
memzilla:
He's probably forge the note and sign it "My Mother."
*sniff*
I miss Juan Epstein….
And his Mother.
Pff, he has the Koch Brothers write those.
Obama’s visit is intended to highlight an economic success story in a state that continues to lose private sector jobs. In his state of the Union address he touted Master Lock, a unionized company that has brought back 100 jobs from China.
I have a hunch the issue isn't appearing with Obama as such. It's that Obama is going to places like this one, where the unionized workers will break out into loud boos and catcalls when Walker strides on stage, and then break into open hoots of derision every time Scotty-boy says anything, including the obligatory lamely delivered Bulls versus Packers reference.
Good point. The Photo Oppus Malus virus is very debilitating.
So, it's not just the blackitude, it's that Obama is completely and publicly shooting to hell Scotty's theory that unions destroy jobs?
And you know how it is with these 99% people; if they hear that somebody else has a job, suddenly *they* want a job, too.
It's because he can't look Barry in the eye. Literally — his beady, little pig eyes are so close together that they only look at each other. What a fucking douchecanoe he is.
Maybe Oba-dysseus can slay the cyclops!!
He's got Jungle Fever.
Now we know who provided the ammo for the Santorum ad…
Isn't this the guy whose campaign was "I drive a truck and I'm asking for your vote"? Let's hope MI doesn't fall for that with Romney
That was douche GOP senator and centerfold Scott Brown from Massachusetts.
Maybe all the assmarmots named Scott are in a secret club?
That's what Walker deserves for swallowing Koch brothers turds 24-7.
~
And I was so looking forward to him shouting at Obama, shaking a finger at him, and then claiming Obama was mean and stole his wallet. I mean, it worked in Arizona, right?
Aunt Rhea was having a bad day when she called Scotty. "Sorry, Barry, but Aunt Rhea needs me today. She was trying to explain it to me, but dire Rhea was all over the place"
Is Aunt Rhea married to Uncle Shart?
Ba dump ump.
Good thing he's not the Governor of Virginia.
They'd make him assume the taxpayer position and give him an ultrasound probe – just to be safe.
Today, Scott's ass is open for business.
Is it as nice as the one at the strip club?
Dear Gov. Walker,
On Wednesday, President Obama will be in your state. You are required to stay at home. Make up some excuse like you're ill or something. The President does not wish to be seen near you nor does he wish to see you. We will post agents outside your residence to ensure that you stay indoors.
Your pals, The Secret Service
On the off chance he's not faking, maybe we should give him some credit for not wanting to vom on the president. If it was Jan Brewer, you know she'd still go (though everything she says is word vomit anyway).
He's a governor. He can get prescriptions that will prop him up even if he's dead.
Viagra?
Big deal, so can Keith Richards.
Been working fine since 1977.
It's not like Barry is the Japanese Prime Minister or anything…
That cross-eyed bastard got food poisoning from fondling too much koch-sucking money.
If the President, any President, was coming to the State over which I was governor, I would chug a bottle of Pepto, take a few Tylenol, then put on a smile and go shake the President's hand.
He should get checked out for hookworms.
I've always thought Walker was a sick fuck. This just proves it.
Get well soon Scott, and by that I mean, go DIAF.
Subtle, that Scott Walker.
"Well, I hope you enjoy your publicly-paid-for healthcare. Watch out for union nurses."
Most likely a very severe case of Recall Virus.
" . . . not tonight, dear. I have the stomach flu."
Even Jeffery Dahmer wouldn't eat that motherfucker.
In Dahmer's defense, he preferred his meat dark and/or Asian-inspired.
He enjoyed fusion cannibal cuisine *before* it got all trendy.
Ah, hell, I used that same bullshit my-stomach-hurts excuse to get out of going to school, but I was ten years old. Grow up, Walker. If you don't want to talk to the president, then just tell him the truth. Black people scare you.
Obama should take Scott some chicken soup just to fuck him.
Walker has always suffered from brain diarrhea.
I'm assuming li'l Scotty's tummy hurts from swallowing too much Koch jizz. Although if he was healthy and I was Barry I'd tell him to stay the fuck away from me and mine.
What a fucking pussy.
…and there ya have it :)
Yeah right…That fuckstick is rarely ever seen in public anyway. What a piece of shit.
Seems like the only time anyone sees him is outta state, dancing for billionaire dollars.
A bold and brilliant move on the part of Barry – veritable 11th dimensional chess, as the meme goes – visiting states like Arizona and Wisconsin, where the governors have made ridiculously horrible comments about him.
If they don't actually spit on his shoes, they will look weak in front of their base. If they do anything other than smile for the cameras and shake hands, they will look like totally outclassed buffoons to everybody else.
What an asshole. I'd be honored to meet Obama. Take some fucking kaopectate and get over it , you fucking moron.
Look who had a quick and speedy recovery! The current above-the-fold image on JSonline shows our favorite cross-eyed, shinola-polished-hair-having weasel presenting our president with a Brewers jersey.
Here is the link because I suck at fancy internet linking:
http://media.jsonline.com/images/375*289/OBAMA+AR…
(Sorry if it was already covered or if he was always planning to do this but not some other meeting. I can only pop in to Wonkette here and there instead of reading thoroughly thanks to being gainfully employed.)
The coward passed up a chance to poke his finger in the President's face, like that Arizona nutcase governor? Of course, the Big O might decide enough's enough of that shit, and break it off.
Still sore from servicing all that Koch, Scotto?
Should I even bother to state the obvious fact that if this were a white president, Scotty would get his ass down to that factory pronto? In the new GOP, it's considered good politics to disrespect the president.
Buck. Buck. Buckaw!!
People type "lol" all the time, but this actually did make me laugh out loud.
It's even funnier if you flap your arms while you're saying it.
Even in this era of "sophisticated humor", you can't beat chickens! Choke 'em, maybe.
Is he crazy? There is no fundraising photo op in being chickenshit!
No, but there is when he runs for President in 2016 and he reminds primary voters that he was man enough to refuse to see the President when he came to Wisconsin in 2012.
And now, the President of the United States…
I'd like to thank all of you for coming out to the plant today. Governor Walker couldn't be here due to stomach flu and I…
<Laughter>
No, really. Stomach flu, and I hope he's feeling better soon.
<Laughter continues>
Is there something I'm missing here?
apparently scott walker doesn't have a book to sell.
What a coincidence!
I heard this Stomach flu virus came down with a nasty case of Scott Walker parasite…
I would comment, but…yeah, I have the belly fu.
"You lie!"
If I were being sodomized by the Koch's, I'd be sick, too!
I could understand not trying to give people the flu, especially the President, even though I suspect Walker is just being dishonest again. However, there is a Lieutenant Governor and it would not be that hard to send them and a simple apology for being too ill to attend.
Too bad AZ's Leather Witch couldn't have had the "wrinkle flu" or something. Instead she had Mad Book-Whoring-Cow disease.
I hope that douchebag had a severe case of the shits, the kind that makes your ass burn.
Of course Obama wouldn't show him up in any way. It would just be a cordial photo op, but that's exactly the thing that would ruin Walker with the wingnuts.
This is good news for the president, and for my blood pressure, also. I could not tolerate seeing the two, together, shooting fake-as-shit, obligatory photos for the media. Walker is terrible. Walker, Rick Scott and Kasich have to be the three most personally repugnant governors in the entire country. And, that's quite a task when your competition includes Chris Christie, Bobby Jindal, Mitch Daniels, Nikki Haley, etc…
BTW, we sure that this "stomach flu" isn't…isn't…tapeworms? Hengh?
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