WEAKLINGS  11:50 am February 15, 2012

Scott Walker Is Too Sick To Meet With Obama!

by Jim Newell

Oh dude what is this? Wisconsin union-krushing Gov. Scott Walker cannot join Barack Obama today on his exciting journey through the Milwaukee Master Lock factory because he has the stomach flu. He has… the stomach flu. “Still recovering from a nasty case of the flu,” he wrote, today. Hmm.

He clearly does not have the flu. No one has the stomach flu. Those people who have the stomach flu and tell you they can’t go somewhere? Those people were making it up because they don’t like you. That time you had the stomach flu and told those people you couldn’t go with them somewhere? You were making it up. Yes, you were. No one has ever had to cancel anything because they had the stomach flu.

Okay maybe he is sick — we completely made up that last paragraph — but he’s probably been looking for an excuse to get out of this awkward sidecar-bitch situation:

Obama’s visit is intended to highlight an economic success story in a state that continues to lose private sector jobs. In his state of the Union address he touted Master Lock, a unionized company that has brought back 100 jobs from China.

[HuffPo]

 
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{ 133 comments }

actor212 February 15, 2012 at 11:54 am

Walker must have heard about the finger incident at the White House

Texan_Bulldog February 15, 2012 at 12:02 pm

Also, I think Barry was gentleman enough to let Jan wag her finger in his face, but I'm pretty sure he would have snapped Scottie's finger right off…at the shoulder.

DaRooster February 15, 2012 at 12:20 pm

I would pay to see this!

Chillwillard February 15, 2012 at 12:24 pm

The invitation sent to Walker was wrapping a fish.

tessiee February 15, 2012 at 3:06 pm

I thought Rahm Emanuel didn't work there any more.

zappadoo76 February 15, 2012 at 11:54 am

There is no such thing as stomach flu. It's always food poisoning. Scott should get himself a taster. Who could we nominate for that job?

actor212 February 15, 2012 at 11:55 am

I blame Walker. No one told him to buy that bottle of Santorum's Steak Sauce.

Barb February 15, 2012 at 11:59 am

A-2 Sauce?

actor212 February 15, 2012 at 12:07 pm

So THAT'S what Caesar was saying to Brutus!

BaldarTFlagass February 15, 2012 at 12:12 pm

A-Nus Sauce. Oops, should have left that comment on the previous thread.

starfanglednut February 15, 2012 at 1:18 pm

That's a one size fits all comment, good for any thread.

JustPixelz February 15, 2012 at 11:57 am

A union food taster. Those free-lancers don't have the same pride in their work.

FlownOver February 15, 2012 at 12:50 pm

Hitler!

What? Oh, sorry… wrong meme.

tessiee February 15, 2012 at 2:41 pm

"Scott should get himself a taster. Who could we nominate for that job?"

Chris Christie?

Of course, he'd eat up *all* the food, and Scott would starve to death, so… hmm, ya know what? That could work.

tessiee February 15, 2012 at 2:55 pm

"Scott should get himself a taster. Who could we nominate for that job?"

If we're going for the naughty sex meaning of "taster", I suggest we have Rick Perry and Rick Santorum fight for the job. We could call it The Battle of Ricks for Pricks.

tessiee February 15, 2012 at 2:57 pm

"Scott should get himself a taster. Who could we nominate for that job? "

*waves hand eagerly*

Ooh! Me! Me! Pick me! I want to tase him till he flops like a catfish!
Oh, "tasTer".
Never mind.

memzilla February 15, 2012 at 11:54 am

I hope Scotty boy gets the finest healthcare that unionized doctors and nurses can provide him.

JustPixelz February 15, 2012 at 12:00 pm

"I hope Scotty…"

… has health insurance?
… gets a transvaginal probe to be sure he understands the flu?
… has a full recovery during his upcoming retirement?

Barb February 15, 2012 at 11:55 am

Maybe he is sick from a recalled chicken. You are what you eat.

prommie February 15, 2012 at 11:55 am

I think he might be afraid of the black man, this is the political equivalent of crossing the street.

Biff February 15, 2012 at 12:02 pm

I'm picturing this.

James Michael Curley February 15, 2012 at 12:25 pm

I'm not touching that link!

Biff February 15, 2012 at 12:36 pm

Perfectly harmless.

jus_wonderin February 15, 2012 at 11:55 am

Dammit, I was going to use that excuse to play hookey on Friday. I have run out of dead relatives funerals to attend.

prommie February 15, 2012 at 11:55 am

He's defecating in terror!

Fare la Volpe February 15, 2012 at 12:27 pm

He totally mitt all over himself.

BaldarTFlagass February 15, 2012 at 11:55 am

Obama: "No problem, Scott! I'll just swing on by your house and leave you some of Michelle's tummy-calming chicken soup! I really want to have a photo op with you, and I don't get up to Wisconsin nearly as much as I'd like!!"

Walker: "uhhhh, uhhhh…"

Sparky MacGyver February 15, 2012 at 11:55 am

You'd think that smarmy bastard would want to meet with Obama, in order to pass on the stomach flu to the Kenyan usurper. That would improve his standing in the wingnut world.

SayItWithWookies February 15, 2012 at 11:56 am

Sounds like Governor Walker got a bad case of scabbies.

DaRooster February 15, 2012 at 12:24 pm

Sounds like Governor Walker got is a bad case of scabbies.

(fixed)

JustPixelz February 15, 2012 at 11:56 am

Stomach flu is very common.

If I had a Cayman Islands bank account for every time one of my dates came down with the stomach flu at the last minute, I'd be against the Buffet Rule.

Maman February 15, 2012 at 11:57 am

New union jobs in state where you are trying to destroy unions? I would be sick to my stomach too. Pussy.

MissTaken February 15, 2012 at 11:57 am

Chicken Soup For The Soon To Be Recalled Governor's Soul

DaRooster February 15, 2012 at 11:57 am

Chicken Shit Pussy Mother Fucker!!

(Oh… and Douche)

gullywompr February 15, 2012 at 12:06 pm

A million upfists to you.

ThundercatHo February 15, 2012 at 12:24 pm

You forgot "cross-eyed Kochsucker".

edgydrifter February 15, 2012 at 11:58 am

My coward has a first name,
it's "S-C-O-T-T"…

ttommyunger February 15, 2012 at 11:58 am

"Scott Walker Is Sick…..". FIXED!

SorosBot February 15, 2012 at 11:58 am

He probably caught a virus from Koch sucking.

coolhandnuke February 15, 2012 at 12:53 pm

Of all the Kochimanie excuses…

YasserArraFeck February 15, 2012 at 1:38 pm

Venereal Flu – it'll fuch you up

weej_bain February 15, 2012 at 12:00 pm

Walker musta caught the maquiladora flu from some Messican.

horsedreamer_1 February 15, 2012 at 8:40 pm

He is an invalid.

BaldarTFlagass February 15, 2012 at 12:01 pm

"Srsly, Obi, I'm ill and my immune system is weakened and I just don't want to take a chance, on top of all my other problems, of catching a case of the blahs from you."

Generation[redacted] February 15, 2012 at 12:02 pm

Unions brought back 100 jobs from China? This is going to hurt the Koch bros' dividend returns. Why are they making the job creators suffer so?

Poindexter718 February 15, 2012 at 12:02 pm

In the governor's defense, he did mention at dinner last night that he thought the suckling infant tasted a bit "off."

Schmannnity February 15, 2012 at 12:04 pm

Apparently never heard the old adage, Eat shit and die Walker.

MLHencken February 15, 2012 at 12:05 pm

Scott Walker should just borrow one of Vitter's diapers and get the hell back to work.

johnnyzhivago February 15, 2012 at 12:05 pm

Brought back 100 union jobs to America from China??? Sounds like somebody didn't get the message.

MadBrahms February 15, 2012 at 12:24 pm

Did they get to keep their yellow shirts?

DaRooster February 15, 2012 at 12:26 pm

Why does Master Lock hate America?!?

Hera Sent Me February 15, 2012 at 12:07 pm

His stomach got filled with the bile he had to swallow at the way Obama cornered him.

CapnFatback February 15, 2012 at 12:07 pm

No kidding. He's too sick to hold public office too, but that didn't stop him.

Mumbletypeg February 15, 2012 at 12:08 pm

No one with a pair of eyes that beady and saturnine can convince me they've come down with anything prohibiting him from meeting the President except the Moronic Plague.

paris biltong February 15, 2012 at 12:08 pm

My son uses the sick stomach excuse when he doesn't want to go to school. I did the same at his age (except more often) but neither of us is the governor or a State being visited by POTUS.

BaldarTFlagass February 15, 2012 at 12:14 pm

My mom's cure for that was… flat Coke. Where the hell did that come from?

ThundercatHo February 15, 2012 at 12:28 pm

Coca-cola syrup over ice chips was my mom's cure all. Remember Paregoric?

Fare la Volpe February 15, 2012 at 12:35 pm

Coca-Cola was originally designed as a cough syrup, but during the first batch production, the creator accidentally added carbonated water to the mixture instead of distilled. Once Coke took off as a soft drink, he started spreading the (complete lie) that the carcinogenic can of chemicals was super duper healthy too because it was originally supposed to be medicine. Kind of like how Corn Flakes are healthy for you because they were originally designed to stop masturbation (dead serious).

GOPCrusher February 15, 2012 at 2:45 pm

Corn Flakes stops masturbation?
That's bullshit. Or so I've heard.

horsedreamer_1 February 15, 2012 at 8:41 pm

Dr. Kellogg's bowel is immaculate. Cannot speak to his prostate.

MadBrahms February 15, 2012 at 12:35 pm

Saltine crackers and 7-up here. Walker already has enough whiteness in his life, though.

paris biltong February 15, 2012 at 12:42 pm

 <DIV>Did she make you snort it? Ha, ha. </DIV> <DIV>Flat coke is the gentiles' chicken soup.</DIV> <DIV style="FONT: 10pt arial">

This is what happens when I answer by email. WTF? What I meant was:
Did she make you snort it? Ha, ha.
Flat coke is the gentiles' chicken soup.

memzilla February 15, 2012 at 12:08 pm

Dear President Obama:

Please excuse my son Scott today. He has a tummy ache.

Sincerely,
His Mother

Tundra Grifter February 15, 2012 at 12:16 pm

memzilla:

He's probably forge the note and sign it "My Mother."

actor212 February 15, 2012 at 12:18 pm

*sniff*

I miss Juan Epstein….

Biff February 15, 2012 at 12:45 pm

And his Mother.

MadBrahms February 15, 2012 at 12:34 pm

Pff, he has the Koch Brothers write those.

Chichikovovich February 15, 2012 at 12:09 pm

Obama’s visit is intended to highlight an economic success story in a state that continues to lose private sector jobs. In his state of the Union address he touted Master Lock, a unionized company that has brought back 100 jobs from China.

I have a hunch the issue isn't appearing with Obama as such. It's that Obama is going to places like this one, where the unionized workers will break out into loud boos and catcalls when Walker strides on stage, and then break into open hoots of derision every time Scotty-boy says anything, including the obligatory lamely delivered Bulls versus Packers reference.

memzilla February 15, 2012 at 12:12 pm

Good point. The Photo Oppus Malus virus is very debilitating.

tessiee February 15, 2012 at 2:51 pm

So, it's not just the blackitude, it's that Obama is completely and publicly shooting to hell Scotty's theory that unions destroy jobs?

And you know how it is with these 99% people; if they hear that somebody else has a job, suddenly *they* want a job, too.

Not_So_Much February 15, 2012 at 12:10 pm

It's because he can't look Barry in the eye. Literally — his beady, little pig eyes are so close together that they only look at each other. What a fucking douchecanoe he is.

BaldarTFlagass February 15, 2012 at 12:16 pm

Maybe Oba-dysseus can slay the cyclops!!

Pragmatist2 February 15, 2012 at 12:10 pm

He's got Jungle Fever.

chicken_thief February 15, 2012 at 12:11 pm

Now we know who provided the ammo for the Santorum ad…

DarwinianDemon February 15, 2012 at 12:13 pm

Isn't this the guy whose campaign was "I drive a truck and I'm asking for your vote"? Let's hope MI doesn't fall for that with Romney

ThundercatHo February 15, 2012 at 12:30 pm

That was douche GOP senator and centerfold Scott Brown from Massachusetts.

tessiee February 15, 2012 at 2:52 pm

Maybe all the assmarmots named Scott are in a secret club?

ifthethunderdontgetya February 15, 2012 at 12:13 pm

That's what Walker deserves for swallowing Koch brothers turds 24-7.
~

SolitaireRose February 15, 2012 at 12:13 pm

And I was so looking forward to him shouting at Obama, shaking a finger at him, and then claiming Obama was mean and stole his wallet. I mean, it worked in Arizona, right?

EatsBabyDingos February 15, 2012 at 12:15 pm

Aunt Rhea was having a bad day when she called Scotty. "Sorry, Barry, but Aunt Rhea needs me today. She was trying to explain it to me, but dire Rhea was all over the place"

jus_wonderin February 15, 2012 at 12:19 pm

Is Aunt Rhea married to Uncle Shart?

starfanglednut February 15, 2012 at 1:21 pm

Ba dump ump.

Tundra Grifter February 15, 2012 at 12:15 pm

Good thing he's not the Governor of Virginia.

They'd make him assume the taxpayer position and give him an ultrasound probe – just to be safe.

widestanceshakedown February 15, 2012 at 12:22 pm

Today, Scott's ass is open for business.

ThundercatHo February 15, 2012 at 12:23 pm

Is it as nice as the one at the strip club?

MoeDeLawn February 15, 2012 at 12:24 pm

Dear Gov. Walker,
On Wednesday, President Obama will be in your state. You are required to stay at home. Make up some excuse like you're ill or something. The President does not wish to be seen near you nor does he wish to see you. We will post agents outside your residence to ensure that you stay indoors.
Your pals, The Secret Service

MadBrahms February 15, 2012 at 12:25 pm

On the off chance he's not faking, maybe we should give him some credit for not wanting to vom on the president. If it was Jan Brewer, you know she'd still go (though everything she says is word vomit anyway).

actor212 February 15, 2012 at 12:29 pm

He's a governor. He can get prescriptions that will prop him up even if he's dead.

MadBrahms February 15, 2012 at 12:33 pm

Viagra?

tessiee February 15, 2012 at 2:53 pm

Big deal, so can Keith Richards.

GOPCrusher February 15, 2012 at 3:27 pm

Been working fine since 1977.

Guppy February 15, 2012 at 1:12 pm

It's not like Barry is the Japanese Prime Minister or anything…

Oblios_Cap February 15, 2012 at 12:29 pm

That cross-eyed bastard got food poisoning from fondling too much koch-sucking money.

Terry February 15, 2012 at 12:30 pm

If the President, any President, was coming to the State over which I was governor, I would chug a bottle of Pepto, take a few Tylenol, then put on a smile and go shake the President's hand.

Radiotherapy February 15, 2012 at 12:30 pm

He should get checked out for hookworms.

ingloriousbytch February 15, 2012 at 12:30 pm

I've always thought Walker was a sick fuck. This just proves it.

Get well soon Scott, and by that I mean, go DIAF.

slowhansolo February 15, 2012 at 12:33 pm

Subtle, that Scott Walker.

MadBrahms February 15, 2012 at 12:33 pm

"Well, I hope you enjoy your publicly-paid-for healthcare. Watch out for union nurses."

rickmaci February 15, 2012 at 12:33 pm

Most likely a very severe case of Recall Virus.

Harry_S_Truman February 15, 2012 at 12:36 pm

" . . . not tonight, dear. I have the stomach flu."

meatlofer February 15, 2012 at 12:38 pm

Even Jeffery Dahmer wouldn't eat that motherfucker.

Fare la Volpe February 15, 2012 at 12:43 pm

In Dahmer's defense, he preferred his meat dark and/or Asian-inspired.

tessiee February 15, 2012 at 2:58 pm

He enjoyed fusion cannibal cuisine *before* it got all trendy.

outragedcitizen February 15, 2012 at 12:39 pm

Ah, hell, I used that same bullshit my-stomach-hurts excuse to get out of going to school, but I was ten years old. Grow up, Walker. If you don't want to talk to the president, then just tell him the truth. Black people scare you.

chicken_thief February 15, 2012 at 12:41 pm

Obama should take Scott some chicken soup just to fuck him.

chascates February 15, 2012 at 12:48 pm

Walker has always suffered from brain diarrhea.

hagajim February 15, 2012 at 12:56 pm

I'm assuming li'l Scotty's tummy hurts from swallowing too much Koch jizz. Although if he was healthy and I was Barry I'd tell him to stay the fuck away from me and mine.

ElPinche February 15, 2012 at 12:57 pm

What a fucking pussy.

WiscDad February 15, 2012 at 1:17 pm

…and there ya have it :)

WiscDad February 15, 2012 at 1:14 pm

Yeah right…That fuckstick is rarely ever seen in public anyway. What a piece of shit.

Designer_Rants February 15, 2012 at 8:37 pm

Seems like the only time anyone sees him is outta state, dancing for billionaire dollars.

gurukalehuru February 15, 2012 at 1:17 pm

A bold and brilliant move on the part of Barry – veritable 11th dimensional chess, as the meme goes – visiting states like Arizona and Wisconsin, where the governors have made ridiculously horrible comments about him.
If they don't actually spit on his shoes, they will look weak in front of their base. If they do anything other than smile for the cameras and shake hands, they will look like totally outclassed buffoons to everybody else.

starfanglednut February 15, 2012 at 1:23 pm

What an asshole. I'd be honored to meet Obama. Take some fucking kaopectate and get over it , you fucking moron.

Jerri February 15, 2012 at 1:24 pm

Look who had a quick and speedy recovery! The current above-the-fold image on JSonline shows our favorite cross-eyed, shinola-polished-hair-having weasel presenting our president with a Brewers jersey.

Here is the link because I suck at fancy internet linking:
http://media.jsonline.com/images/375*289/OBAMA+AR

(Sorry if it was already covered or if he was always planning to do this but not some other meeting. I can only pop in to Wonkette here and there instead of reading thoroughly thanks to being gainfully employed.)

owhatever February 15, 2012 at 1:29 pm

The coward passed up a chance to poke his finger in the President's face, like that Arizona nutcase governor? Of course, the Big O might decide enough's enough of that shit, and break it off.

DaSandman February 15, 2012 at 1:32 pm

Still sore from servicing all that Koch, Scotto?

starfanglednut February 15, 2012 at 1:37 pm

Should I even bother to state the obvious fact that if this were a white president, Scotty would get his ass down to that factory pronto? In the new GOP, it's considered good politics to disrespect the president.

Chet Kincaid February 15, 2012 at 1:40 pm

Buck. Buck. Buckaw!!

tessiee February 15, 2012 at 3:02 pm

People type "lol" all the time, but this actually did make me laugh out loud.
It's even funnier if you flap your arms while you're saying it.

Chet Kincaid February 15, 2012 at 3:17 pm

Even in this era of "sophisticated humor", you can't beat chickens! Choke 'em, maybe.

Chet Kincaid February 15, 2012 at 1:47 pm

Is he crazy? There is no fundraising photo op in being chickenshit!

GOPCrusher February 15, 2012 at 3:30 pm

No, but there is when he runs for President in 2016 and he reminds primary voters that he was man enough to refuse to see the President when he came to Wisconsin in 2012.

Steverino247 February 15, 2012 at 1:47 pm

And now, the President of the United States…

I'd like to thank all of you for coming out to the plant today. Governor Walker couldn't be here due to stomach flu and I…

<Laughter>

No, really. Stomach flu, and I hope he's feeling better soon.

<Laughter continues>

Is there something I'm missing here?

mavenmaven February 15, 2012 at 2:07 pm

apparently scott walker doesn't have a book to sell.

DahBoner February 15, 2012 at 2:49 pm

What a coincidence!

I heard this Stomach flu virus came down with a nasty case of Scott Walker parasite

Wonderthing February 15, 2012 at 3:27 pm

I would comment, but…yeah, I have the belly fu.

Troglodeity February 15, 2012 at 5:29 pm

"You lie!"

hilbillyheroine February 15, 2012 at 6:59 pm

If I were being sodomized by the Koch's, I'd be sick, too!

glamourdammerung February 15, 2012 at 7:26 pm

I could understand not trying to give people the flu, especially the President, even though I suspect Walker is just being dishonest again. However, there is a Lieutenant Governor and it would not be that hard to send them and a simple apology for being too ill to attend.

Designer_Rants February 15, 2012 at 8:22 pm

Too bad AZ's Leather Witch couldn't have had the "wrinkle flu" or something. Instead she had Mad Book-Whoring-Cow disease.

PuglyDoRight February 15, 2012 at 10:02 pm

I hope that douchebag had a severe case of the shits, the kind that makes your ass burn.

__kth__ February 15, 2012 at 10:42 pm

Of course Obama wouldn't show him up in any way. It would just be a cordial photo op, but that's exactly the thing that would ruin Walker with the wingnuts.

Negropolis February 16, 2012 at 2:11 am

Scott Walker Is Too Sick To Meet With Obama!

This is good news for the president, and for my blood pressure, also. I could not tolerate seeing the two, together, shooting fake-as-shit, obligatory photos for the media. Walker is terrible. Walker, Rick Scott and Kasich have to be the three most personally repugnant governors in the entire country. And, that's quite a task when your competition includes Chris Christie, Bobby Jindal, Mitch Daniels, Nikki Haley, etc…

BTW, we sure that this "stomach flu" isn't…isn't…tapeworms? Hengh?

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