So what did Rick Santorum’s campaign come up with, for the new ad complaining about Mitt Romney? Oh, just a life-sized cardboard cutout of a dumbly smiling Santorum repeatedly splashed with a brown, frothy liquid. No, really.
Rick Santorum PAID FOR THIS AD, and he “approved this message,” as you can hear Rick lisp at the beginning of the commercial. Yeah yeah, there’s some buff tough guy “rough trade” businessman with a machine gun, too. Rick likes this kind of thing, angry man-on-man sex violence in a parking garage. [YouTube]
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Art imitates life.
More like "irritates" but your point is taken
Or is it form following function?
that would be bodily function?
There's no art in this, though PLENTY of haha.
Once again Rick, Irony is not just a river in Egypt…
Froth Wars – The Empire Flings Back
Santorum is in De Nile, a great river of goo is sweeping him to the bottom.
Hey! You stole my line!
It *could* be — the Nile is awfully polluted with all that hippo shit and crocodile shit and people shit, yaknow.
Green Balloons please.
Santorum is giving Mittbot an endless supply of ammo.
Why is "Carmen" on the soundtrack? Isn't opera kind of gay??
Not if they had used Wagner instead.
True, Rick does kind of put me in mind of Erik in The Flying Dutchman. The cluelessness is there, the whiny loserhood is there, the "a woman has to be even more batshit insane than Senta to want him" is there.
Just Rick is a million times more of a douchebag.
This may be the year of The Ring for the GOP. I can see Fox News as the Valkyries, Ronald Reagan as Wotan, and the candidates as the Wälsungs, all in search of the Ring (nomination).
Wonketters unfamiliar with the work should check out Anna Russell's wonderful analysis: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m69aPAo1rXE
And Ron Paul as the hate-filled dwarf obsessed with gold.—
Calista & Newt as Tristan & Isolde?
But that choice of sound snippet does invite the question of thematic coherence. Why didn't they have a company of prancing toreadors in the background? It clearly would have improved the ad immensely. Also perhaps the last of the Santorum targets could be wearing a matador's hat and pants.
Zombie Bizet would totally sue Rick's ass, if his copyright hadn't expired.
It's times like these that you wish zombie legends were fer realz. I could be so pleased to contemplate Zombie Bizet chewing off Rick Santorum's face.
It does seem more of a "Carmina Burana" sort of spot.
Or "Yakety Sax". Anything Santorum should have "Yakety Sax" played over the top.
Your wish: http://bennyhillifier.com/?id=OtOcrS6axnE
I'm sorry, was there something in that ad that wasn't gay?
That's not going to help his Google problem.
Did his campaign hire the Onion to do their ads?
Also their speeches.
Dan Savage approves this message!
OT, but I'm proud to be intimately involved with someone who arranged to have Mr. Savage speak on his It Gets Better Project to the teachers of Ohio today.
Awesome!
Bill? Is that you?
Oh, I can't wait for the milk-mustache billboards.
Uhh… That's not milk…
And it's not Rick Santorum – it's Rick Perry.
Milk Perry? Gross.
Paging Sr. Sanchez…..
He's kinda too dirty to come to the phone right now.
Way to embrace your legacy, Rick.
We WERE going to have lunch today.
Think of it THIS way: you're a better person for it. I am now going to exercise till I can't stand up in the hope of exorcizing that hideous vision.
Red Ryder Santorum Shooter SHT5000™
I think Rick must be running full throttle with the Santorum thing because he knows he can't avoid it – so why not embrace it. Nah – he's too fucking stupid for that.
It allows Rick to play the "Wah those gay liberals are so mean to me." Yeah, because turning his name into a sexual joke is so much worse than working to deny basic rights to people based solely on their sexual orientation; including supporting the "right" of states to arrest people simply for fucking in unapproved ways, and comparing sex between consenting adults to bestiality and pedophilia.
Wait till all you breeders finally figure out that "sodomy" refers to cunnilingus and fellatio and anal play, NOT gender of persons practising same. It'll be too late by then, because all us queer folk will have been killed for doing that stuff, and then the Santorums of this world will come for YOU.
Oh I know – Leonard v Texas was a victory for straights' rights too, not just gay people. The rights to blowjobs and pussy-licking are now constitutionally protected regardless of gender or sexual orientation.
I figured you would, you smartypants little Bot, you.
(Hugs the Bot) I am SO happy for you, it's ridiculous. Now stop poking me, or I'll poke back. (Just kidding, I'm not THAT fucking sensitive, geez)
Romney is smearing Santorum. Ewwwweewwweeewwwww.
Where does one buy a shitball gun?
Homo Depot
The Abortionplex?
CPAC?
It involves finding someone with stomach flu.
Funny, I made sort of the reverse of that joke on the Scott is too sick to host Barry post. Brilliant minds?!….
Say, you know who else…
Wow, this ad is Godwin-proof.
Even Hitler had more class.
In that case, I'll go with – the Tundra Grifter?
Dick Cheney?
Canals of Venice?
GG Allin & the Murder Junkies?
This Guy.
The frothy mix really does love playing the victim; he's got a serious martyr complex.
You grew up in the Catholic church. You KNOW that's the subtext of every fucking Church teaching.
Hell, remember how you have to beat your breast with the clenched fist and cry "Mea culpa!" ? Is that Easter mass? I forget. Lamb of God who taketh away the sins of the world …
Sick, forcing children to repeat that shit when they don't have a clue what it means.
So guns scare the Santorum outta Rick?
No, I think they make him hot and bothered.
I just defecated in terror.
Like a dog on the car roof?
You Romneyed.
I once defecated in Oklahoma. I'm guessing it was kind of like that.
Death of a meme.
Or its rebirth?
"If Life gives you Santorum you should make Santorum (Dan Savage definition)"
Rick Santorum thinks he's as great as Tim Tebow.
Mainly because he also never puts a convincing spin on what he delivers and God wants him to win.
Rick is working on a distinctive Tebow-like pose, but bottoms everywhere have already taken his most recognizable position.
Wow. Once again, I have no words.
How did they ever get Mitt to appear in this ad? This just proves how smart and wiley those Santorum people are. Watch out, soon they will have Newell in a pro-life attack ad on Barry!
That was Mitt?
I thought it was Nixon!
Nixon had more class and charisma.
Oozinator?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YdAIt4MgnHc
The National Rectal Association will love that ad.
And you'll be able to shoot santorum at Santorum from your own splurge gun on
AtariX-Box in 3, 2, 1.Does Santorum even know what santorum is?
He periodically whines that Google is mean to him. So he knows it's something bad, at any rate.
Santorum has finally found his comfort spot. Must be using enough lube.
The complete lack of self-awareness is strong with this one.
I have to disagree. I think this is a really clever way of tying the Google problem to Romney, to show that it's a political ploy.
I know, it's much older than the campaign, but we're talking about Republicans. Worse, redneck Republicans who can't even remember who won the Super Bowl last week.
I think it's genius
Redneck Republicans don't use The Internets, much less The Google. Unless Fox explains to them what Santorum is, they'll never know.
Exactly.
Rick can point to it and say it's further proof of the Liberal Smear Campaign against him.
I hope the Patriots did! Because that Brady boy did alright for himself, coming from a mixed marriage with that quirky housekeeper and so many gay siblings, yet he ended up with that Brazilian ex-Nazi who works at Hooters! It's an American dream cum true with extra splooge.
Rick has fallen to the dork side of the force.
He's not even cool enough for the Schwartz.
You know the scene where Dark Helmet says ""I See Your Schwartz Is as Big as Mine"? Yeah that's not happening with Ricky; with his issues with sex I think his is like two inches, tops.
It's not just himself he's unaware of.
Shit happens.
Mitt has a huge problem if he is hitting himself with Santorum.
It all comes back to guns and whose is bigger. And whose can ejaculate more rounds per minute.
Rick to Mittens: "Santorum cannot be easily wiped off!"
I have to poo.
Don't send your cardboard cutout, pussy. Take it like a man.
Such wisdom with the creators of this commercial! Santorum is depicted as a cardboard cutout with sh*t flying all around him. Great imagery there guys.
Imagine juevos on the guy/gal who proposed using light brown, chunky goo and a greasy "splortch" sound for a Santorum commercial. I'm sure whoever it was thought everyone would get the joke, chuckle, and move on. But they didn't, and my new anonymous advertising hero took it all the way.
Nicely done.
Those who work in the Campaign Industry, doing polls, ads, direct-mail, they are the most rapacious, cynical frauds on earth, they do third-rate work for exorbitant prices, but their customers are mostly imbeciles, so they laugh all the way to the bank.
cf: entire Rick Perry campaign but in particular, Brokeback ad.
Embrace the santorum, Rick.
Now, close your mouth and swallow.
good god..I know I'm supposed to laugh at this uber irony, but I'm horrified that this clueless jesustard could be the nominee.
Horrified? I'm hopeful. It's the perfect blah vs wha fight. Welcome to 2012 people.
He said "backfire." Heh heh.
"That isn't mud, my friend."
. . . ?
Words fail. Either there's a guerrilla adman out there, or Santorum and his people are truly too clueless to live.
That's ''VICTORY SHIT" !
We all knew it was over when the media embraced it, what with all the surging and rising and coming from behind and everything.
Not that a Santorum spot might backfire, but is this giving the Rominator cred on gun issues?
Also, is that an empty factory? Or a parking garage? Kind of sloppy on the missed opportunities.
I can't wait for his next ad, in which the Romney character performs a puppet show using a pickled fetus.
Will female pickled fetuses be required to undergo a mandatory transvaginal probe prior to getting their SAG card? Or just in Virginia?
No, they will only be transvaginaled if they TRY to get a union card. How else will the socialist sluts learn that choices have consequences?
Brilliant, Rmoney at a fetus barbecue.
Wow, I nearly Romneyed when I saw all that Santorum.
Taint ball might just catch on?
When your research team dredges rushlimbaugh.com for references, you know winning the race to the bottom.
ha ha just like monkey island at the zoo!
It does make Romney look like a homicidal maniac but it also makes Santorum look like an idiot for just standing there.
This is a 'must see'.
I'm guessing both are disappointed at all the misses, considering Rick was wearing his best shit-eating grin.
When you have lemons, make lemonade.
When you have poop, make a pooper shooter.
Now that's what I call scatter-shot.
I especially enjoyed the realistic fashion in which the santorum "splatters" when fired from the water cannon.
In the navy, that was called a "stern shot."
How much did that ad cost? Because that was quite a money shot.
So I think we can safely add mud to the list (along with brown finger paint) of items Rick Santorum should avoid embracing in his campaign ads.
Most types of pudding…too.
I question the director's decision to include gun violence in this gay porno.
So some gay guy at an ad agency is trying to sabotage santorum's campaign and him and everyone around him is too stupid to realize it. Sounds about right.
Has to be.
Probably the same guy convinced him sweater vests were cool.
I hope so, that would be amazing.
to paraphrase Monty Python; "E can't be President. E's got shit all over 'im.."
Un-fucking-believable.
OK. I am nearly speechless. The background cartoon music, the splurge gun, the idiot looking photo cut out, the factory stalker: I take this as proof that Santorum has jumped the proverbial shark.
Intending to commit unwanted genital opening penetration of said shark, I'm guessing.
It really hurts when he does that.
You definitely want to get ahead of santorum, meme or otherwise.
Shit! Cum on…
Ah, yes, the deadly and messy Romney Repeater.
The real Mittbot doesn't show anywhere near that much emotion.
Exactly. This fake Mitt is a bit of a klutz, but otherwise way too dynamic, reactive, emotional – it's as if he had *feelings* for god's sake.
When Santorum splatters all over the walls, teh buttsecks is HAWT,
Look…Let's give credit where credit is due….This is the funniest fucking ad I have ever seen….
Rickita doth protest too much. He loves getting "mud" splattered on him by Romney's "gun".
Hey, Mitt just wanted to shoot the shit for a while, man to man. What's wrong with that.
Cool. Mitt fights terrorists on top of trains, too. That's who I want for prezdent.
Now that was funny! Stewart's people doing a little moonlighting for RS ads?
I just threw up a little, in my pants.
Is this a trailer from the movie "The Perfect Shitstorm"?
Fake Killer Romney/Cardboard Santorum 2012!
(Has to be an improvement on the real ones.)
This video can be entitled "inside the republican mind".
Needs moar Demon Sheep.
Now, you KNOW, my Wonketteers, that, coming in late as I do I usually rush to the latest post to look around. But HOW could I possibly avoid THIS?
Dear god this ad is awful. Someone needs to tell Rick what "Santorum" means.
It doesn't get any better than this.
Perhaps a "Dick Immodium" character should show up at Santorum events to counter his lies. That would be fun!
*ACHIEVEMENT UNLOCKED: EPIC IRONY*
Also, trolling fail: Romney's Super-PAC notwithstanding, it's already on the record that Santorum's a Lifetime Achievement winner in the Porkbarrel-Whoring Hall Of Fame.
RICK RICK RICK
Deep down inside, even Santorum knows he's santorum.
Gee, thanks for the tea-spew… Cleanup on Cube 3!!!
OMG! If he is crazy enuf to approve this dirtbag ad, what does he have in mind to do, if elected?
It's not good for the Republicans when their last two major Presidential candidates are each inextricably intertwined with stories related to fecal matter: canine for Romney, and lubed for Santorum.
Give him a break. While he hasn't verbalized it, the embroidery proudly emblazoned over the heart on all his sweaters sends a not so secret message to his followers in the priesthood.
Aside from the obvious poop jokes, the more highbrow among you will find a certain irony in the fact that this is a negative ad whose sole purpose is to state that anyone who would stoop to running negative ads is unfit to lead. The petard upon which Mr. Frothy finds himself hoist is, in this case, his own.
I know it's been said before–again and again–but this IS THE WORST CAMPAIGN EVAH!
"Frothy Fecal Matter Ejaculated At Him"
SANTORUM HAPPENS.
Bonobo knows.
I'm so late today, but at least I had a good dream (which, of course, I mistook for reality until searching the interwebz for verification): Nancy Pelosi and Rick Perry and the Marine Corps in an America First ad. Fuck, I wish my dreams were reality.
Sex with a cardboard cut out of Rick Santorum is probably the same thing as sex with actual Rick Santorum. Why you'd want either is beyond me.
I tell you, the only thing that have made this any funnier is if the actor would have used his hands to spread his cheeks and simulated blowing the mud out of his ass. lol
BTW, LOL as if Mitt has ever shot an assault rifle. lol
Fafner and Fasolt perhaps?
Ya, that's better. (run little Freia, run).
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