fat diabetic snake eating its own tail

Wingnuts Furious About … Fox News Going Liberal

Oh, all the time, probably?What are America’s old white racist exurban cretins on Medicare and Social Security upset about today? Oh, the usual: Obama, liberals, gays, sex, black people, youth, hippies, the poor, the rich, Mexicans, “the hip hop,” Iran, exercise, unemployment, unemployment benefits, vegetables, a talented black woman with addiction problems such as Whitney Houston, organic farms, birth control, people having sexual intercourse in general, solar energy, Mormons, national parks, public transportation, Europe, NPR, Media Matters, the New York Times, CNN, MSNBC and Fox News. WAIT WHAT IN THE ??? Yes, Fox News. The wingnuts have spastically lurched from one invented outrage to the next with such shallow furor that they finally wound up enraged about the very teevee channel that tells them what to freak out about.

Apparently (?), Fox News chief witch Roger Ailes made an executive decision to tone it down a year ago — after the awful shooting spree in Tucson that killed six people and badly hurt another thirteen, including Congresswoman Gabrielle Giffords. Between the election of Barack Obama and the Arizona mass shooting, Fox News had ramped up its crazy to overdrive, and that made the nation’s shrinking population of sociopathic delusional Hoveround trolls about as happy as morbidly obese lifelong racists can get.

In the year since Fox News made a mild shift in approach that would be utterly imperceptible to all but the most deranged orc, America’s wingnuts have begun abandoning the channel. What are they watching instead? Probably VHS home movies of lynchings, alternated with DVDs of gay interracial gangbangs.

As a white, male, middle-aged conservative talk radio host from Virginia, John Fredericks is something close to the Platonic ideal of a Fox News fan. And until last year, he was one. But then Fox’s treatment of the Republican primary race — the presentation of Karl Rove as a political analyst despite his having “thrown in for Romney” and Sean Hannity’s clear ties to the Republican establishment — began to grate on him. So he changed the channel ….

“To tell you the truth, a lot of conservatives see Fox News as being somewhat skewed on certain issues,” said Patrick Brown, who runs Internet marketing for The Western Center for Journalism, a conservative nonprofit that features stories questioning the president’s eligibility for office. “We actually did a poll recently that said, ‘Is Fox News actually conservative, or has it moved left?’ And some 70 percent of our readers thought it had moved left.”

This is from The Politico website, so it will be laughable to “normal humans” who were “born with a basic moral compass.” But, there you have it: The fringe racist right-wing extremist element of the Republican Party just can’t get enough crazy from Fox News anymore. Mass suicide is literally the only option left for these awful people — and it’s the only way they’re ever going to find out for sure what Allah has a-waitin’ for them! [Politico via ChasCates!]

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  • Oblios_Cap

    Mass suicide is literally the only option left for these awful people — and it’s the only way they’re ever going to find out for sure what Allah has a-waitin’ for them!

    I doubt that it's 72 virgins of any species. Maybe 72 Rove clones.

    • http://facethesuncastnoshadow.wordpress.com/ Mumbletypeg

      doubt that it's 72 virgins of any species

      You just burst teabanger Ken Cuccinelli's wet dream bubble.

    • SorosBot

      Who would want 72 virgins, anyway? I'd rather have women who know what the fuck they're doing already.

      • Generation[redacted]

        Hear hear! I don't want to spend eternity shouting "Ow! No teeth! No teeth!"

        • MissTaken

          And I don't want to spend eternity shouting "Ow! Wrong hole! Wrong hole!"

          • Generation[redacted]

            Tell ya what, we'll put my 72 virgins together with your 72 virgins, and they're not allowed out until they get it right.

          • SorosBot

            And there would probably be no thumbs up for you.

          • BaldarTFlagass

            Really. This is Wonkette, after all.

          • http://facethesuncastnoshadow.wordpress.com/ Mumbletypeg

            This… WIN…

          • nonbeliever7

            What a shocker!
            What, a shocker?

      • Callyson

        WIN.

      • http://wonkette.com/ starfanglednut

        Never mind 72 obese virgins riding hoverounds and wearing weeping eagle pajamas.

    • BerkeleyBear

      Well, there is that translation where it is 72 raisins, so maybe for them they can imagine they are 72 shriveled Rove turds.

    • Generation[redacted]

      Are you sure Rove isn't a virgin? He has all the indicators.

      • Guppy

        Condi gave him a pity-fuck and has regretted it since.

    • Negropolis

      I doubt that it's 72 virgins of any species. Maybe 72 Rove clones.

      Those two are the same thing.

  • nounverb911

    There's always TNN, Teabag Network News.

  • PuckStopsHere

    Needs more rape, apparently.

  • http://www.wonkette.com Clancy_Pants

    "What are they watching instead?"

    Seriously! The live feed from the Rush Limbaugh show? CMT? You know they aren't reading instead.

    • DaRooster

      Of course, to be more informed, they are tuning into Free Speech TV.

    • Redhead

      Didn't Beckers form his own radio network and diploma mill?

    • http://www.vinoverve.com Maman

      I checked my sister's crazy ass website, she seems to follow Andrew Breitbart and Rush, The NRA, Project Veritas, and something called Reason TV. Maybe she is just crazier than most of them though. It is hard to say

    • Generation[redacted]

      Kidz Newz with widdle wascist wabbit. Dat was weiwd.

    • GOPCrusher

      I love my Mother, but I told her one day that she had to quit watching Fox News and she told me in no uncertain terms "I don't watch that shit. They spend all their time talking about that nigger, Obama."

      She got an internet connection and has The Blaze as her homepage.

      • http://wonkette.com/ starfanglednut

        Wow, dude. I'm really sorry.

      • emmelemm

        Um…

        I'm sorry to hear that.

  • el_donaldo

    Excuse me. You forgot Muslims. America’s old white racist exurban cretins on Medicare and Social Security are upset about Muslims. And Mexicans. The rest of that stuff just falls out from those two.

    • anniegetyerfun

      Muslicans!

      • Negropolis

        Meximims!

  • IncenseDebate

    Will someone please spike the Kool Aid and get this over with?

    • Eve8Apples

      I'm searching my Jim Jones cookbook for the recipe. I'll post it on Red State as soon as I find it.

    • BerkeleyBear

      Kool Aid libel! It was off label, man.

    • Beetagger

      Purple Nikes for all!

  • gullywompr

    The new snuff film channel is drawing all their viewers.

  • DaRooster

    "How often do I…?"

    Now.

    Now.

    Now.

    • anniegetyerfun

      It's a weird question, because it implies that there may be a time in which I STOP thinking about it, and then have to start again.

      • ItsMrTheOwl2You

        Ohhhh. I thought it asked how often I thought about touching others "gentiles". I was wondering how I stumbled upon so many goy and shiksa loving freaks . . .

      • DaRooster

        "Damn, I lost count… 1… 2…3…"

  • http://wonkette.com/ weej_bain

    This is from The Politico website

    Well, if it is from Drudge light it has to be white right.

  • http://gratuity.wordpress.com/ Gratuitous World

    It's true – a year ago Fox contributors were saying rape of female troops should be mandatory as opposed to merely 'expected.'

  • SolitaireRose

    Fox will combat this by giving a TV show to your asshole brother in law who thinks the government is spyin on him to disprove his disability claim and vaccines caused your sister to quit sleeping with him.

    • GOPCrusher

      Ah, a Ron Paul voter.

    • ItsMrTheOwl2You

      Hey! She got that Gardsasil and went crazy, staying out all night, working out, dressing all nice. It was the vaccine!

  • Hera Sent Me

    Meh. The Nazi Party had a "left wing" branch, too. It only wanted to pillage and expel Jews, but not necessarily to kill them.

    Roger Ailes used to produce off-color Broadway plays. In New York City! I wonder what Fox News viewers would think if they knew that.

    Admittedly, thinking is a stretch for many of them.

    • anniegetyerfun

      A stretch? I'd reckon it would snap a brain stem.

      • Swampgas_Man

        Their bungholes stretch more than their brains.

    • doloras

      "The Nazi Party had a "left wing" branch, too."

      The Strasser brothers, what swell guys. Modern racists evoke their names if they want to get credibility with the Occupy mob ("but we're national SOCIALISTS, comrades!")

    • Loaded_Pants

      Fox News viewers are very good at stretching things but their thinking is not one of them.

  • memzilla

    Jerb creation: GSN, the Gingrich-Santorum Network!

    All Wingtard, All The Time!

    • anniegetyerfun

      Woah, woah, woah, Gingrich is nowhere NEAR nutty enough for these folks. After all, he said he didn't want to murder every American of Hispanic origin. He said it on TV, in front of everyone!

  • Trannysurprise

    I guess all that's left now is to subscribe to the KKK's Youtube channel.

    • http://sciencekick.blogspot.com valthemus

      Dahling! The KKK are tres passé! White sheets are out, Hugo Boss is in and the fashion forward gentlemen of the National Policy Institute are the racist assholes du jour. Get with the times, sweetie!
      http://mediamatters.org/blog/201109190005

      • http://wonkette.com/ starfanglednut

        Excuse us for the news
        You might not be amused
        But did you know white comes from Black
        No need to be confused

  • MrFizzy

    Someone's been blowing spliffs with Whitney.

    • hunnybee

      what has this post have to do with Whitney Houston? she is three days dead and still more beautiful than you will ever be.

      • MrFizzy

        a. The correct diction is "what has this post to do with Whitney Houston?", although even that is fairly tortured.
        b. I was obviously referring to Eli Whitney, a notorious spliff-blower and inventor of the cotton gin.
        c. I am more beautiful than nearly anything that is embalmed – can't you tell from my picture?

  • MissTaken

    I'm sure they are the ones watching the Glenn Beck TV channel and BYUtv my Roku stupidly thinks I want.

    • SorosBot

      Are you sure the Roku wasn't made by agents of the Mormon conspiracy, trying to brainwash you into becoming the seventeenth bride of one of the church elders?

      • MissTaken

        I heard that wives 1 through 17 get the prettiest houses on the planet. Yay for me!

        • SorosBot

          Although since the Mormons seem to have some weird virginity fetish they'll find they've made the wrong choice with you.

  • tihond

    I like to think Bill O'Reilly defending Ellen caused them to snap

  • Joshua Norton

    Maybe they're talking about "Glee", or "Raising Hope". 'Cause Fox "News" itself is still fill-tilt crazy!! With an extra side of 100 percent pure looney tunes.

    • jus_wonderin

      I have often wondered how a show like "Glee" (which I watch and like, btw) can be televised on a network that has Fox "News".

      • Fare la Volpe

        Both The Simpsons and Family Guy have noted that Fox broadcast channel and Fox News are about as ideologically different as Gandhi and Pol Pot. Don't forget that Fox's very first hit show was the decidedly unconservative Married…with Children.

        • http://dismalpseudoscientist.wordpress.com Negligently_Joe

          Ehhh. I do have a friend who argues that most of Fox's hit shows, while superficially unconservative or 'transgressive', still often operate in a framework that helps to reinforce a conservative narrative. MwC and Decay of the Modern Nuclear Family, etc.

          I don't really agree fully, but admittedly that's at least partially because that would imply that conseratives actually are capable of humor, and a lifetime of experience tells me otherwise.

        • http://www.southsidejohnny.com/ Jukesgrrl

          My theory's always been that Murdoch and Ailes don't even believe the crap they broadcast. They just do it for the money. They saw a batshit crazy population with no news network to reflect its world view, so they crafted FOX News. They don't care a whit that their creation is undermining democracy as long as the cash keeps rolling in.

      • GunToting[Redacted]

        Completely different divisions. Fox Entertainment (or whatever the hell it is called) has almost nothing to do with the Roger Ailes Funtime Network.

      • ItsMrTheOwl2You

        They also own FX which also has some decided non-conservative friendly shows., such as my favorite – Sons of Anarchy.

        • emmelemm

          American Horror Story FTW – batshit, crazy and GAY.

          • http://loljazzcatz.blogspot.com/ Chet Kincaid

            But not "watchable" or "good."

      • Negropolis

        Ailes is an amoral money-whore. He divides his business and his pleasure, but all the money goes in the same pocket. It's always been a joke on regular Fox that the "News" component was bat-shit crazy.

  • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com MittBorg

    Srsly. Who needs comedy anymore? Real life is outdoing it by far!

  • YouBetcha

    So now they're pissed at Fox News? What happens when they run out of objects/people/subjects over which to be outraged?

    • http://simplyleftbehind.blogspot.com/ actor212

      Can they? They haven't even gotten to the Albigensians yet.

    • BarackMyWorld

      Do what they always do…make stuff up.

    • http://sciencekick.blogspot.com valthemus

      They discover that self-loathing is its own reward.

      (Bonus: for them, masturbation will become a form of rape.)

  • BigDumbRedDog

    Hey, you're imperceptibly less crazy than you used to be! Booooo!

  • meatlofer

    Chris Christie is always looking to get his hands on somebodys' Nuggets!(or thigh,or wing,or breast,or loin)

  • Eve8Apples

    "Mass suicide is literally the only option left for these awful people.."

    If ya'll need help purchasing guns, bullets, rope, razor blades, etc. just let your Wonkette friends know where to send our contributions. We support you 100%.

  • Pragmatist2

    The question is – are the wing nuts getting crazier or is Fox getting sane? Both options seem highly improbable.

    • el_donaldo

      The latter would seem improbable. I'm done trying to second guess the former.

  • http://simplyleftbehind.blogspot.com/ actor212

    Wait. They only just noticed the ties between FOX and the GOP?

    Well, I mean, FOX did want the ignorant niche….

    • BarackMyWorld

      Exactly!

      Kind of like how conservatives spent 7 years defending everything Bush did, until the final year when they decided he hadn't been conservative enough for them.

      • http://dismalpseudoscientist.wordpress.com Negligently_Joe

        If only he had invaded more Muslim countries, and cut taxes to "job creators" more than he had, everything would have worked out just fine!

        • Generation[redacted]

          True conservative policies were never given a chance to work. If they were, we'd all be bazillionaires driving Hummers right now.

          • http://simplyleftbehind.blogspot.com/ actor212

            How true! After all thirty years of tax cuts saw real wages decline and income inequality increase, but if we had. Just. Waited. One more year!

          • http://wonkette.com/ starfanglednut

            And nothing will ever, ever convince them otherwise.

      • Biel_ze_Bubba

        Conservative policies are wonderful, until the shit hits the fan, which only proves that whoever put those policies in place wasn't conservative enough, so the obvious remedy is to get even more conservative.

        It's a positive feedback loop of stupidity (aka "death spiral".)

      • Loaded_Pants

        Yes. I always found it odd how none of the 2008 GOP candidates never mentioned Bush at all when they were running (& still don't bring him up this time around). I figured it was because they knew he was a colossal fuck up & didn't want to associated with him. But maybe you're right.

  • chicken_thief

    "…And some 70 percent of our readers thought it had moved left.”

    Ya, right. A move the width of a red cunt hair doesn't count.

  • http://johnnyzhivago.blogspot.com johnnyzhivago

    You forgot CFL Lightbulbs.

    My mother (who does NOT listen to Fox) told me that her neighbor who DOES told her to stop letting me put CFL lightbulbs around her house, because if they break, your house will be condemned by the EPA and FEMA will swoop in and arrest you.

    • Radiotherapy

      Brings new meaning to the Black Ops.

    • Sparky MacGyver

      Don't tell him about how the NRC will seize your house for the smoke detector.

    • http://www.storycorner.us/ JustPixelz

      Half true. If they break, mercury is released which should be cleaned up thoroughly.

      When the World Trade Center buildings collapsed, the one million florescent tubes that burst open added mercury to the concrete dust, asbestos and human ashes people breathed in that day. Firefighters — who stayed in the area longer — suffered long term health effects. Remember the fight over covering their treatment last year?

      However the EPA and FEMA don't swoop anymore, after getting arrested by the FAA for unlicensed swooping.

    • Guppy

      Are LEDs safe?

      • jus_wonderin

        Have you not heard of LED poisoning? :)

  • Sue4466

    Does this mean Countdown will now be moving to Fox once Keith gets fired/resigns from Current TV?

  • http://facethesuncastnoshadow.wordpress.com/ Mumbletypeg

    But a certain percentage of them still believes Stephen Colbert is every bit the bona-fide conservative he portrays on teevee, right?

    • Radiotherapy

      Same percentage who don't know what teabagging means.

    • Loaded_Pants

      Of course. He's a nice conservative Catholic balance to that liberal Jew Stewart.

  • SorosBot

    They're mad that Fox is still sticking to the dog-whistles about Obama instead of whipping out the n-word.

  • SoBeach

    We should all bow our heads and observe a moment of silence for the 2010 version of Fox News. They were AWESOME!. The screaming heads on the network were in a competition to out-crazy each other, and you know who won? We did.

    That kind of entertainment only comes around once a generation.

  • bumfug

    My loonier old high school friends have switched from Fox to these horrible "Wild Bill For America" videos on Youtube. One guy keeps forwarding them to me in emails – I watched about 15 seconds of one once, now I just delete them as soon as they show up.

  • MozakiBlocks

    Well it was bound to happen sooner or later.

  • jus_wonderin

    I'd like to posit the converse argument. How often do I think about many, many other people touching my privates??? "Reach out and touch…somebodies……………………."

  • BTWBFDIMHO

    Simplify the list: they hate everything, except the Army and Nascar. And Bud lite.

    • chicken_thief

      And there might be a carve out for the Army – that geyh fucker in Iraq don't count!

    • emmelemm

      Rascals, Trucknutz, and Cheetos.

      • NYNYNYjr

        Army: run by Obama, full of gays and Nazis.
        Bud: owned by a Brazilian-Belgian company.
        Cheetos: Owned by Pepsico, whose CEO is Indra Krishnamurthy Nooyi. Yes, that's a Tamil name. And she's a lady.

        • emmelemm

          Army: run by Obama, full of gays and Nazis.

          And women.

    • http://simplyleftbehind.blogspot.com/ actor212

      FLOTUS attended a NASCAR event, so now it has to be purified.

    • bikerlaureate

      Now we've just got to get them to hate voting.

    • Negropolis

      They hate the army, now, too, because it's been infected with Teh Ghey.

  • Blueb4sunrise

    Git yer newz here wingnutz
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9O6mZ-syMfA&fe

    • 40 or 50 % McShineys

      GODDDAMN LIBRUL STATION! KEEPS SAYIN EIGHT! EVERONE KNOWS THAT IS A LEZZY NUMBER

  • CapnFatback

    There's a difference between Fox and its viewers, but Fredricks isn't quite homing in on it.

    The only thing about Fox News that is more to the left than its viewers is numbers before the decimal point.

  • SayItWithWookies

    FOX is just laying low until they only have a Democrat to demonize — right now, having to choose among three or four Republicans is too distressing for their spoon-fed audience to handle, since they can't tell which one really loves America and which ones are the filthy RINO pretenders. In the Church of Instant Dogma, every decision is a hall of mirrors.

  • cheetojeebus

    fukkin' veggies. celery, that's the worst, with that pink cheese stuff in the crack? Who eats that crap?

  • HelmutNewton

    Not a surprise. After years of mainlining pure hate, they have become acclimated to Faux. The only thing that will feed their addiction now is televised executions and live torture porn.

    • KeepFnThatChicken

      …you mean Rob Dyrdek's Ridiculousness? Or Tosh.0?

    • Guppy

      So… 4chan?

    • Negropolis

      Ah, yes, the Iranian wing of the GOP.

  • north_of_moscow

    Chasing the dragon…

  • Wonderthing

    Why are these people even watching the TV? It's an instrument of SATAN and should be burned as the witch it is.

    • Biel_ze_Bubba

      Cool it. They're not supposed to know that.

  • James Michael Curley

    Bill O'Reilly is shopping for his "Happy Spring Equinox" cards right now.

  • ElPinche

    Aisles should throw those old racist fartbags a bone. How about "Tom Tancredo Hour" where Tom throws his poop at pictures of famous brown celebrities.

    • GOPCrusher

      Or "Bum Fights" where they take two homeless guys and have them fight to the death in an Octogon. The winner gets twenty bucks.

      • http://krisbunda.com/blog/index.php Designer_Rants

        TWO BUMS ENTER! THE 70+ DEMOGRAPHIC DOESN'T LEAVE!

  • BigDumbRedDog

    Fox officially came out against raping female soldiers and killing the poor. Boooo!

  • Indiepalin

    Wait'll they get a load of next year's Super Bowl Halftime Show featuring the Mormon Tabernacle Choir. With Joe Buck on Troy Aikman.

  • Goonemeritus

    Even without the reported shift Fox would lose viewers to phenomena akin to acquired drug resistance. Just as many porn aficionados may start off with a Sears catalog only to escalate to leather clad nun midget porn. Eventually Fox News just doesn’t give the same rush to the addict.

  • MissTaken

    How often do you think about touching other people's private parts?

    If you never stop thinking about touching them it only counts as once, right?

    • http://simplyleftbehind.blogspot.com/ actor212

      What if you just keep your hands on them?

    • Steverino247

      Don't make me bring back that joke about having my balls rubbed at 5th and Market again!

  • http://simplyleftbehind.blogspot.com/ actor212

    Ann Coulter makes peace with CPAC. FOX News becomes liberal.

    White men really are oppressed!

    • ItsMrTheOwl2You

      Doesn't Ann Coulter's mere existence oppress straight men everywhere? Or at least oppress their genitals?

  • Generation[redacted]

    Your move, SkoalRebel.

  • BaldarTFlagass

    This is just a bait and switch. Like ESPN did with ESPN2 and 3, MTV with VH1, and MSNBC with CNBC, etc. Pretty soon they're going to roll out the FOX Hate Channel, and the current Fox News will become their mainstream flagship.

    • jus_wonderin

      Logo/marketing wise…I recommend H8!

    • ItsMrTheOwl2You

      Oh, come on. They'll use a code word for hate. You know Fox is all about code words. It'll be "Fox Pure – As Honest as Fresh White Snow"

  • Serolf_Divad

    Bah, let's face it: wingnuttia is populated by loonies who believe that a conservative is a guy who supports the current Tea Party nutjob alternative to Mitt Romeny, a liberal is a guy who supports Mitt Romney. And everybody else is actively in league with Alquaeda, working for the destruction of the nation and the imposition of a system of brutal Sharia law that differs from the jurisprudence they themselves actually and actively favor only in substituting the work Allah for God.

    • Steverino247

      That pretty much sums it up. They want everyone to be just like them.

  • bureaucrap

    "some 70 percent of our readers thought it had moved left.”

    That would be about 7 people.

  • bureaucrap

    Fox News isn't just the same since they stopped telling their audience who they should "express their 2nd amendment rights" at each day.

  • BornInATrailer

    Bet skoal rebel is getting more hits now.

  • littlebigdaddy

    How often do I think about touching other people's private parts, you ask? Well, when I do I imagine touching Ann Coulter's dick and that takes care of it.

  • WhatTheHeck

    Biting the hand that spoon-feeds them.
    Well, even Pit Bulls forget who the master is and have to be put down.

  • Poindexter718

    Commensurate ratings spike for "The Matlock Channel."

  • http://whatisawatthedevolution.blogspot.com imissopus

    Slightly OT, but I think the folks here will enjoy the writings of this judge, particularly the dig at Christian rights' groups noted in the last sentence of the post.

    • http://facethesuncastnoshadow.wordpress.com/ Mumbletypeg

      particularly the dig at Christian rights'…in the last sentence of the post

      Read it. AMEN — well played, Justice B!

    • GOPCrusher

      I enjoy taking the anti-Muslim tirade e-mails, replace the word Muslim or Islam with Xtian or Xtianity and return it to the sender.

    • Loaded_Pants

      "To those who have prayed for my death: Your prayers will someday be answered, as inevitably trumps probability."

      That's some Hitch-grade shit, right there.

  • MinAgain

    Liberal. You keep using that word. I do not think it means what you think it means.

  • jus_wonderin

    There is a somewhat tried and true method to revive viewership once it is evident that the viewers are tiring of the same-ole same-ole. Bring in a precocious kid. Almost every stale sitcom has done this.

    I say hire Little Cousin Fox. That cute one with those big round glasses, the bowl haircut, that speaks with slight, but endearing, impediment.

    • PubOption

      Andwoo, as he himself would pronounce it.

    • Eve8Apples

      Fox could also have attractive naked people jump up and down on trampolines. Then ask their viewers the creepy question about touching other people's private parts and see what kind of response they receive.

  • Dashboard Buddha

    conservatives sane people see Fox News as being somewhat are you fucking kidding me skewed on certain issues,”

    Fixed

  • Tundra Grifter

    This has got to be good news for Mr. Obama.

    If the FoxPAC isn't right wing nutty enough the GNoPee is gonna split for sure. Dr. Ron Paul's folks will fly off in one direction. Donald Chump will run third party because his boy (r)Money didn't get the nod.

    The few remaining moderate Republicans will just give up and not vote for anyone.

    Good times comin'! You betcha!

  • anniegetyerfun

    I honestly have to say that this is the best article I have ever read in the world. No snark. I am going to be quoting from this for YEARS to come.

  • Biel_ze_Bubba

    Next: Rick Santorum is denounced as too liberal, for admitting that Obama is actually the President. Newt is denounced for not owning a gun, or enough guns. Ron Paul is a dope-smoking hippie who won't keep the troops in practice by invading someplace full of brown people. That leaves them with nobody – and they'll have to just wait and see what happens at the convention. Que Sarah, Sarah.

  • anniegetyerfun

    BTW, your Arabic is incorrect at the end there. It's "what Allah has al-waiting for them".

  • qwerty42

    O Wonkette, Jr, this is too, too … too …
    …there you have it: The fringe racist right-wing extremist element of the Republican Party just can’t get enough crazy from Fox News anymore. Mass suicide is literally the only option left for these awful people — and it’s the only way they’re ever going to find out for sure what Allah has a-waitin’ for them!
    Well, we've all been saying that they have drunk the kool-aid, so I guess this would follow.

    And "…The Western Center for Journalism, a conservative nonprofit that features stories questioning the president’s eligibility for office. " … is this the polite way of saying "birther"?

    • http://simplyleftbehind.blogspot.com/ actor212

      Which? "Western" or "Journalism"?

      • Generation[redacted]

        "What kind of news do you report here?"
        "Oh we have both kinds. Country AND Western!"

  • Schmannnity

    This is just because they want their wingnut news for free. They could subscribe to Beck TV, but that would be like not getting the government handouts they so conveniently forget.

  • Schmannnity

    This is good news for the soon-to-be-formed John Birch TV.

  • http://www.wonkette.com/ slowhansolo

    Bow-tie Tucker will fill the void.

  • whatupirondog

    Excellent news! Now the time is right for me to start my new "White People With Bad Hair Screaming At Minorities And Gays Channel" I've been developing . New to this year's WPWBHSAMAGC's Friday lineup: WHERE'S THE COLLEGE TRANSCRIPTS??? with Dick Morris!

  • mavenmaven

    They need the "Mein Kampf" channel.

  • Tommy1733

    I like this part (from Politico article linked above):

    "After the Tucson shooting last year, when criticism rained down on Sarah Palin and Glenn Beck for their violent rhetoric, Ailes moved to lower the temperature, telling Russell Simmons, “I told all of our guys, ‘Shut up, tone it down, make your argument intellectually.’” A few months later, Beck and Fox announced they were parting ways. As early as last May, New York Magazine’s Gabriel Sherman was writing about Fox’s “move to the middle.”

    Two things stand out – when told to make the argument "intellectually", Beck moves on. Also, the "intellectual" approach is apparently the same thing as "move to the middle".

    • ItsMrTheOwl2You

      What about the part that Ailes spoke with Russell Simmons? That stands out to me. Or am I missing something? Is there an evil Russell Bot at Fox?

  • http://sciencekick.blogspot.com valthemus

    Suddenly wondering how much of JC Penny's advertising budget ends up in Fox News' coffers.

  • frostbitefalls

    <snark off> Those Whitney Houston comments make me want to throw up.

    • hunnybee

      me too. not appropriate and nasty. there is a time and a place but it is not here and not now.

  • chascates

    The only place America's Death Eaters can get their fair and balanced news now is on the Stormfront web site.

  • Mahousu

    John Fredericks is something close to the Platonic ideal of a Fox News fan.

    I've read Plato. Plato was a friend of mine (or at least he might have been if he weren't dead). John Fredericks, you are no Platonic ideal.

  • Troglodeity

    They've switched to English Al Jazeera.

  • rickmaci

    You forgot Sharia Law, Kenyan birth certificates, government regulations, school prayer and activist judges. Oh, and this year's William Ayers, Saul Alinsky. Only when you see a list like yours that you can get a sense of how freaking wacked the TeaTurds really are.

  • a_pink_poodle

    They've moved so far left, what with their toleration of 'urban youths' sharing water fountains with hard working Americans

  • MadBrahms

    They'll always have Politichicks to fall back on! Maybe if FOX News gives Victoria Jackson a job, they can bring back the shrillness that viewers are so sorely missing on Fox and Friends.

    The same is true of any writer for WorldNetDaily, but they might not be able to pull off the "The View"-knockoff set.

    • Loaded_Pants

      "They'll always have Politichicks to fall back on! Maybe if FOX News gives Victoria Jackson a job, they can bring back the shrillness that viewers are so sorely missing on Fox and Friends."
      And there'd be a ukulele involved! Total win!

  • lulzmonger

    Butthurt Freepazoids calling FOX liberal = world's tiniest violin playing the blues.

    Methinks any alleged "tone it down" edict had less to do with a certain headshot in Arizona & much more to do with their profit margin. Remember, peons & pols alike are interchangable & disposable, but PROFIT IS SACRED.

  • reginagreene

    Thats right make this all a big joke but you know you know your regaling that fox is selling out. Fox used to tell it like it is so taht there is some TRUTH to help flush away all this stuff that you fokls and Obama and his rich girlfriend Peloosi dump out DAY AFTER DAY AFTER DAY!!! Im not saying taht fox was perfect (god that hannity has so much gross lose FAT on his neck and crap hair that I had to look the other way and just listen to what hes saying!!!), but most of thte time I think there was lots good points they made. Now youm might as well watch the lesbians and gays on MSNBS than watch fox cause theirs no differncec, just every one SELLS OUT!!! next thing they tell me is that Obama is on a valentines tranny date with rove and coulter, why not???

    • http://wonkette.com/ starfanglednut

      Oh, bless your heart.

  • http://www.wonkette.com/ FlownOver

    Where can I invest in snuff porn?

  • http://loljazzcatz.blogspot.com/ Chet Kincaid

    Keith who?

  • MilwaukeeKent

    All our scheming has worked. They're turning on each other before they had time to discover that all Democrats vote twice and that we gay marry dead Mormons.

  • http://krisbunda.com/blog/index.php Designer_Rants

    I think their main demographic of "Age 70 – Vampiric Immortality" is finally dying off.

  • ttommyunger

    Frankly, I've given up on all "news" channels on the teevee machine. If I can't pick it up on the internets from various sources I won't know about it; so I've got that going for me, which is nice.

  • http://krisbunda.com/blog/index.php Designer_Rants

    I would say Ailes is getting soft, but I think he's always been soft enough to double as a bean bag chair.

    • Negropolis

      He truly is Jabba the Ailes.

  • http://littlegreenfootballs.com/article/39308_Breitbarts_Fans_Spew_Racism_Call_for_President_Obama_t glamourdammerung

    Those poor teabaggers are too stupid to know that they could just start buying whatever racist newsletter Papa Doc Ron Paul is going to be doing after he loses this presidential race to satisfy their racism and love of improbable, nonsensical conspiracy theories.

  • fitley

    How sad. It seems like playing with their poop will be their only entertainment alternative.

  • Generation[redacted]

    One of whom is a closet liberal! I just know it!

  • emmelemm

    Beatings will continue until morale improves.

  • Biel_ze_Bubba

    Given their innumerable internal inconsistencies and logic fails, the pursuit of "complete purity on philosophical party positions" is going to be an ugly process.
    (See: Stalin, Joseph. See also: Zedong, Mao.)

  • http://simplyleftbehind.blogspot.com/ actor212

    Let's not forget the Cathars!

  • Goonemeritus

    I’ll ask my Priest and get back to you.

  • Biel_ze_Bubba

    There are 8.7 million species on the planet.

    Just saying.

  • 40 or 50 % McShineys

    GAY leather clad midget porn, duh!

  • bagofmice

    Rule 34.

  • doloras

    You can't fool me! Albigensians ARE Cathars.