CHUCK GRASSLEY'S TWITTER  6:47 pm February 13, 2012

Hot Breaking Chuck Grassley Twitter Telephone Action

by Jim Newell

Sen. Chuck Grassley h s an iphone, you guys.

 

Hola wonkerados.

To improve site performance, we did a thing. It could be up to three minutes before your comment appears. DON'T KEEP RETRYING, OKAY?

Also, if you are a new commenter, your comment may never appear. This is probably because we hate you.

{ 204 comments }

Selfish_T February 13, 2012 at 6:48 pm

Let the autocorrect nightmares begin!

DoktorThompson February 13, 2012 at 8:52 pm

No, I meant President Obama is a near.

HateMachine February 13, 2012 at 9:54 pm

Don't worry, he had an intern disable autocorrect.

Barb February 13, 2012 at 6:49 pm

Wow, what's next? A fridge with an ice maker, fingers crossed!

memzilla February 13, 2012 at 6:56 pm

A new ribbon for his Underwood!

flamingpdog February 13, 2012 at 7:26 pm

He's a typical Rethuglican warmongerer – moar likely he haz an ICBM Selectric.

Loaded_Pants February 13, 2012 at 9:00 pm

He'll copy his tweets by using carbon paper.

BearNoLike February 13, 2012 at 7:03 pm

No more mattresses on the floor in THAT house.

Fare la Volpe February 13, 2012 at 7:27 pm

An ELECTRIC washer machine! Shucks and by golly, we're in the 20th century now!

Rotundo_ February 13, 2012 at 7:49 pm

Maytag made gasoline powered models for years, Chucklenuts might have had his tighty whities done with a more robust version of a lawnmower engine.

Loaded_Pants February 13, 2012 at 8:55 pm

One of them under counter boxes that washes the dishes?

MittBorg February 13, 2012 at 9:07 pm

Watch that, buddy. In this house, the dishwasher has two legs.

BearNoLike February 13, 2012 at 9:20 pm

Haha good call by you. Upfist, sir.

MittBorg February 13, 2012 at 10:30 pm

I shoulda said "two arms," huh? It's not like anyone ever washes dishes with their legs.

glamourdammerung February 13, 2012 at 8:56 pm

Some of us do not have smartphones.

Not a hipster, just a curmudgeon that does not see a point in spending the dough for something I would never use.

MittBorg February 13, 2012 at 9:08 pm

Some of us don't even have a cellphone.

glamourdammerung February 13, 2012 at 9:49 pm

I only have a cellphone because I travel a bit and did not bother getting a land line. But with a usage of maybe an hour a month at most, I am just not the demographic they are looking for.

MittBorg February 13, 2012 at 10:11 pm

Mine came with free minutes. I think I now have like several DAYS worth of freebies on it because I almost never use it. I do keep the landline because cellphone reception at Eagleshit Towers is worse than useless.

Loaded_Pants February 13, 2012 at 11:48 pm

Ironically, "smartphones" seem to make some people even more stupid.

I have a cellphone mostly for work & in case of any potential emergency situations. Otherwise I wouldn't have it at all. I've never spent more than $30 for a cell & haven't upgraded since 2006.

Verizon Wireless hates my guts.

DaRooster February 14, 2012 at 10:41 am

It does seem in most cases the smart phones have the IQ in the family.

Abernathy February 13, 2012 at 9:09 pm

It is quite an age we live in.

Dudleydidwrong February 13, 2012 at 9:25 pm

I'll bet that when he goes to buy a new car he still asks for R&H* as options, although he hasn't sprung for a clutchless car yet.

That's radio and heater for you younguns.

deelzebub February 13, 2012 at 10:21 pm

One doesn't spring for a clutchless car; one makes a choice. Do you want a sport performance car or a cruiser? I'm of the opinion that any off-road style suv or sports/muscle car should only be sold with a clutch.

DaRooster February 14, 2012 at 10:45 am

Are you crazy? Most people that drive SUVs are moronic enough… add to their driving style a clutch? The roads could get even worse than they already are… Lord help us.

(I do agree though… maybe it would keep some of the soccer moms out of vehicles that most of them can't handle)

SorosBot February 13, 2012 at 9:40 pm

Well I don't have one of those, either.

deelzebub February 13, 2012 at 10:18 pm

I just want to give him an indulgent slightly patronizing pat on the head.

DahBoner February 14, 2012 at 7:59 am

Color TV.

starfanglednut February 13, 2012 at 6:52 pm

Sigh…I ne d a n p

DaRooster February 14, 2012 at 10:40 am

Therz a nap 4 th a t .

edgydrifter February 13, 2012 at 6:52 pm

cuntgralshuns sen blather!!

BearNoLike February 13, 2012 at 6:52 pm

NEEDZ NEW SQUIRLZ

Crank_Tango February 13, 2012 at 6:53 pm

It was a typo, he meant he has an HIV phone.

Barb February 13, 2012 at 6:54 pm

He's the receiver.

MittBorg February 13, 2012 at 9:08 pm

And you claim you're not capable of teh funny on teh drugs. Hah.

Spurning Beer February 13, 2012 at 9:24 pm

It's the Lenny Bruce/John Belushi syndrome.

MittBorg February 13, 2012 at 10:23 pm

Barb is the devil's tail injecting snark into the fatty upper arm of stupid, said some charming commenter the other day. Looks like her surgery has NOT robbed her of Teh Funnay.

DoktorThompson February 13, 2012 at 8:52 pm

I always suspected iPhones were Magic.

lulzmonger February 14, 2012 at 2:17 am

CLOUD'S CLOSED.

JackDempsey1 February 13, 2012 at 6:53 pm

Kll me nw, Chck. Stp misry.

memzilla February 13, 2012 at 6:55 pm

H v iphone, still wngtrd.

V572 Flambé February 13, 2012 at 6:55 pm

Just be glad he never figured out instant messaging.

Major Thom February 13, 2012 at 6:55 pm

Hey ch ck, s ck my bal z

Limeylizzie February 13, 2012 at 9:07 pm

That made me laugh so much that I farted, hnstly.

Major Thom February 14, 2012 at 1:26 pm

Im vry sry lzzie

edgydrifter February 13, 2012 at 6:55 pm

2nd day w/ iphone got soocide note frm siri. now scrn blank. what gives?
@ChuckGrassley

chascates February 13, 2012 at 6:56 pm

Do U hav Prnc Albrt N a can?

flamingpdog February 13, 2012 at 10:36 pm

He has Prnc Albrt N his can.

PhilippePetain February 13, 2012 at 6:57 pm

Let's hope someone will hack it and see what other connections there are between C-Grass and "Joshua Q. Cummins".

BlueStateLibel February 13, 2012 at 6:57 pm

Mom, grandpa's making an idiot of himself on Twitter again!

mrblifil February 13, 2012 at 6:57 pm

HOLY FUCKING SHIT CHUCK GRASSLEY HAS HIV/AIDS!! #fullblown

Blueb4sunrise February 13, 2012 at 7:01 pm

I heard that too!!!

Geminisunmars February 13, 2012 at 7:06 pm

This is confirmation we've needed!

mrblifil February 13, 2012 at 7:23 pm

Retweeting!

Crank_Tango February 13, 2012 at 7:36 pm

I heard he wants to get beat (off?) by Chris Brown.

40 or 50 % McShineys February 13, 2012 at 7:41 pm

Google proves it, legislatively speaking!
http://www.linkedin.com/pub/adam-freed/9/226/343

MittBorg February 13, 2012 at 9:10 pm

Didju tweet that? Cos if u did I hz 2 folo u

SexySmurf February 13, 2012 at 6:57 pm

Let's play a game. Can you guess which tweets were written by Grassley and which ones were written by America's Sweetheart, Courtney Stodden?

1. A

2. Who's ready for Friday Floor Flash?! Show me yours: will RT my fave! MUAH!

3. Had a minute to stop for coffee and a roll in Osceola and wound up with the largest sweet roll I've ever seen at the Family Table enuf43pl.

4. Flaunting a flirty fantasy this Monday night as I coaxingly kiss the mister that I fancy most. XOs,muah!

5. Delight yourself in the LORD and he will give you the desires of your heart. Psalms 37:4

flamingpdog February 13, 2012 at 7:18 pm

T

PhilippePetain February 13, 2012 at 7:21 pm

Oh this is the first I've heard of this chick. Weird, weird world we live in, man.

Dashboard Buddha February 13, 2012 at 7:39 pm

yeah…17 going on 45.

Crank_Tango February 13, 2012 at 7:37 pm

I call bullshit. Those are all from CHK ASSLY

SexySmurf February 13, 2012 at 8:13 pm

The first four are. But the last one is actually Courtney Stodden.

BarackMyWorld February 13, 2012 at 6:58 pm

#hesucksalot2

mrblifil February 13, 2012 at 6:59 pm

Those poor poor Angry Birds…

Tundra Grifter February 13, 2012 at 6:59 pm

I'd rather read that a chimpanzee bought a loaded gun.

Less dangerous.

Jukesgrrl February 13, 2012 at 7:33 pm

And maybe funnier.

DrOzarkZ.Hellbender February 13, 2012 at 7:53 pm

Far more photogenic, too.

Angry_Marmot February 13, 2012 at 8:51 pm
MittBorg February 13, 2012 at 9:15 pm

OMG. Who IS that marvelous ape?

Senator John "BuggerMeBlind" McCain

Spurning Beer February 13, 2012 at 9:57 pm

When repeating a joke about rape
Where the perp's a magnificent ape,
Just make sure that the press
On the Straight Talk Express
Don't record your performance on tape.

Negropolis February 13, 2012 at 11:32 pm

That'd be absolutely bananas.

Crank_Tango February 13, 2012 at 6:59 pm

This is how it reads in the technology he grew up with: .. — .– .- / .. … / –. .- -.– .-.-.- / -.-. — .-. -. / .. … / –. .- -.– .-.-.-

flamingpdog February 13, 2012 at 7:20 pm

I've never seen hieroglyphics that looked quite like those.

Fare la Volpe February 13, 2012 at 7:27 pm

You've never read cuneiform.

Crank_Tango February 13, 2012 at 7:43 pm

Yeah but he did read going rouge three times in the bathroom until he stopped going rouge.

oh, cunEIform. never mind.

C_R_Eature February 13, 2012 at 8:29 pm

I'd show you the Signal Flag version, but this is clearly the wrong technological platform.

Blueb4sunrise February 13, 2012 at 6:59 pm

shvit

soeoho February 13, 2012 at 7:05 pm

Do I understand he now has a hyphen?

rocktonsam February 13, 2012 at 7:05 pm

r et ar d

Negligently_Joe February 13, 2012 at 7:09 pm

Welcome back, J m!

salt_bagel February 13, 2012 at 7:12 pm

"Siri, show me a map of corn lobbyists close to here."

#i'm sorry. were you searching for porn boy lists?#

deelzebub February 13, 2012 at 10:25 pm

Chuck answers that question with a "HLL YS I LUV RNTBYS"

Beowoof February 13, 2012 at 7:13 pm

Ah Tech can also be used for EVIL.

chascates February 13, 2012 at 7:15 pm

And Twitter haz a sad.

upthruster February 13, 2012 at 7:19 pm

Oooo! He's got an I Phone. How long before he gets a clue?

MittBorg February 13, 2012 at 9:16 pm

Those cost a LOT more.

AlterNewt February 13, 2012 at 7:20 pm

OMG Sentr. dont u hv wrk 2 do? lol

YouBetcha February 13, 2012 at 7:23 pm

Installing Grindr app in 3….2…..1…..

Loaded_Pants February 13, 2012 at 9:07 pm

gmta….but I'm not deleting my comment.

flamingpdog February 13, 2012 at 7:23 pm

Chuck, if you have trouble hitting all the right letters on the keypad 'cause your fingers are too pudgy, you should try using the pointy stick you have up your ass instead.

JackObin February 13, 2012 at 7:24 pm

I dnt gv a sht.

Dashboard Buddha February 13, 2012 at 7:24 pm

I just just thought of that.

MissTaken February 13, 2012 at 7:25 pm

If i on y h d abrain

MittBorg February 13, 2012 at 9:17 pm

Hey there, pretty lady! How you doin?

Lionel[redacted]Esq February 13, 2012 at 7:28 pm

So much for Apple being cool.

BearNoLike February 13, 2012 at 7:56 pm

New Motto: Think Like A Dickwad

Angry_Marmot February 13, 2012 at 8:57 pm

Looks like they'll be adding more nets around the Foxconn plant in Shenzhen.

Not_So_Much February 13, 2012 at 7:29 pm

I saw this as 'I now have HIV, phone'. Must be my lysdexia acting up.

Blueb4sunrise February 13, 2012 at 7:46 pm

So it IS true that Grassley has HIV!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

MittBorg February 13, 2012 at 9:18 pm

I heard it on Twitter, it MUST be Twoo!

Negropolis February 13, 2012 at 11:33 pm

It'd be irresponsible not to speculate!

CHUDster_Arthur February 13, 2012 at 7:29 pm

I now h v an iPhone. Ho Ho Ho.

Angry_Marmot February 13, 2012 at 7:32 pm

Need mah bucket.

DrOzarkZ.Hellbender February 13, 2012 at 7:54 pm

Oh noes!

flamingpdog February 13, 2012 at 10:45 pm

Chuck can have my bucket if he promises to kick it.

johnnyzhivago February 13, 2012 at 7:33 pm

Pray for the poor customer support people!

Jukesgrrl February 13, 2012 at 7:36 pm

Momma whenz dinR

johnnyzhivago February 13, 2012 at 7:39 pm

Took him 3 years to figure out how to spell it in order to place an order for one.

neiltheblaze February 13, 2012 at 7:39 pm

Now I've got to have one!

Beetagger February 13, 2012 at 7:39 pm

He only bought it after he made sure that lots of underage children toiled long hours in sub-human conditions to make it.

glamourdammerung February 13, 2012 at 8:59 pm

I hope he did not call 911 about the erection lasting for more than four hours. They frown on that.

Come here a minute February 13, 2012 at 7:39 pm

Tel brkr 2 sell RIM stk b/c old guy chnging phone

40 or 50 % McShineys February 13, 2012 at 7:42 pm

h v s k of r t d ks, g assley

MittBorg February 13, 2012 at 9:19 pm

You forgot to add "l ghtly p s n d nd s lt d."

Radiotherapy February 13, 2012 at 7:43 pm

Jitterbug makes an iPhone…who knew?

Goonemeritus February 13, 2012 at 7:49 pm

I for one refuse to send more manufacturing jobs to China like traitorous Senator Grassley. I will be sticking with my early 90's Motorola. Sure it's the size of a Soviet era refrigerator and has the battery longevity of a Rush Limaugh erection but that's the way I role.

Rotundo_ February 13, 2012 at 7:56 pm

It's the raw redneck excitement of getting something technological to prove you're not clueless. Half the meth cookers in Iowa have one too for sales and service chuckles…

DrOzarkZ.Hellbender February 13, 2012 at 7:56 pm

In related news, Apple stock plunged as hipsters everywhere threw away their iPhones in disgust. "If that old bastard starts listening to bands I like, I may just have to kill myself," said one Portland resident.

Monsieur_Grumpe February 13, 2012 at 7:57 pm

h v means high voltage in my world. If I'm right, this should be interesting.

C_R_Eature February 13, 2012 at 9:35 pm

amps would be good also.

flamingpdog February 13, 2012 at 10:48 pm

Amps for Gramps. That's a charity I could give to.

pinkocommi February 13, 2012 at 8:06 pm

Have our standards as a nation sunk so low that we do not expect our congressional representatives to have morals, a backbone or the ability to spell?

Loaded_Pants February 13, 2012 at 8:36 pm

Yes, yes, and….umm, yes.

Sharkey February 13, 2012 at 8:08 pm

mst rstrn slf

Guppy February 13, 2012 at 8:09 pm

How many Grassleys on iPhones would it take to produce Hamlet?

Angry_Marmot February 13, 2012 at 9:00 pm

You can't afford it.

Chichikovovich February 13, 2012 at 9:09 pm

2B r ~ 2B.

th ? !!

Sffr slngs -&gt;'s of &gt;:-o frtn.< arms gnst C trbles?

MittBorg February 13, 2012 at 9:21 pm

Consider putting ALL of Sh k s p r on Twitter, Chich.

Chichikovovich February 13, 2012 at 9:27 pm

THx – but I keep getting screwed up by the html: &gt; is supposed to be a greater than sign. and &#60 was my attempt to get the greater than sign a different way. Merely typing the greater than sign, of course, won't work with html.

D'you know how to get special html symbols for posts?

Guppy February 13, 2012 at 9:29 pm

<Just> <type> <them> <in>. So long as they're not enclosing a (permitted) recognized tag, they work fine.

MittBorg February 13, 2012 at 10:15 pm

I use this site: http://ascii.cl/htmlcodes.htm

Among others. Guppy sez just type them in, but that doesn't work unless you close the angle bracket, which is not what you're trying to do. >

Negropolis February 13, 2012 at 11:36 pm

All of them, Guppy.

mavenmaven February 13, 2012 at 8:11 pm

How much is he getting paid for that promotional tweet?

IceCreamEmpress February 13, 2012 at 8:12 pm

u kno wut i m? i'm ur worst nitemare, man—an old dumb cracker wiv a iPhone :)

Loaded_Pants February 13, 2012 at 8:35 pm

some1 told me about this grindr thing, cant wait to use it!

Fare la Volpe February 13, 2012 at 8:19 pm

I've never been happier to have an Android.

flamingpdog February 13, 2012 at 10:52 pm

Mrs. Romney has an android too.

elburritodeluxe February 13, 2012 at 8:19 pm

Why not get an American made smart phone, Communist!

Chet Kincaid February 13, 2012 at 8:43 pm

Ca n'existe pas!

Negropolis February 13, 2012 at 11:39 pm

La diffamation de fabrication d'Américain!

bumfug February 13, 2012 at 8:21 pm

Cool, another aHole with an iPhone.

bumfug February 13, 2012 at 8:23 pm

Once he found out they were made by poorly paid, physically exploited workers you couldn't keep him away.

C_R_Eature February 13, 2012 at 8:31 pm

AS H LE STILL C N'T SPE L

#electedruminant

There you go, Owls!

CommieLibunatic February 13, 2012 at 8:39 pm

In other surprising developments, I have a mullet and am currently pantsless. ALERT THE FUCKING MEDIA!!!!!!!!!!!!

Barrelhse February 13, 2012 at 11:28 pm
Numbat_Dundee February 13, 2012 at 8:41 pm

It cost him so much he couldn't afford to buy a vowel.

emmelemm February 13, 2012 at 8:46 pm

He can afford an iPhone, because his socialized medicine is all covered by that sweet, sweet Congress health plan.

iburl February 13, 2012 at 8:56 pm

Doesn't this stupid old man have any grandkids that can teach him how to stop fucking everything up and let them handle anything having to do with computers?

user-of-owls February 13, 2012 at 8:57 pm

Wonkette Manual of Style, 5 ed.:

References to Chuck Grassley should always include his proper modifier: elected ruminant.

Chichikovovich February 13, 2012 at 9:32 pm

Did you know that the nilgai is a type of (typically non-elected) ruminant?

I think I can use that in my next rap about the founding fathers. I can say "nilgai", right?

Spurning Beer February 13, 2012 at 10:08 pm

Be careful. I think there's a Palin child who's a nilgai.

Chichikovovich February 13, 2012 at 10:22 pm

I don't think any of the Palins have the cognitive capacity to manage four stomachs at once.

flamingpdog February 13, 2012 at 10:55 pm

So what else is gnu in your world?

user-of-owls February 13, 2012 at 11:19 pm

No, no. It's the President who's a nilgai, so say whatever your basest vile reptilian brain wants to say!

MittBorg February 13, 2012 at 10:29 pm

The blue cow? How interesting. Have you ever seen one up close? I never have.

Chichikovovich February 14, 2012 at 7:32 am

No, never. But I've seen pictures, and they look nothing like any of the Palins. Except for that one Halloween that Bristol went as a smurf.

MittBorg February 13, 2012 at 9:06 pm

Oh, man. I couldn't even *find* these comments, how unfair is *that.*

Abernathy February 13, 2012 at 9:12 pm

This must be what happens when one translates airport bathroom stall foot tapping code into Twitter characters.

Fukui_sanYesOta February 13, 2012 at 9:13 pm

I see that elected ruminant (*) Grassley didn't learn a damn thing after his account got hacked and he was mocked because the hacker's comments were not written in the style of "stupid old white man attempts to speak like the kids"

* thank you owls, and good to see you back

user-of-owls February 13, 2012 at 11:15 pm

Well someone's got to keep these dizzy children in line. In our day, if we forgot a meme we'd have to write it 100 times. In EBCDIC. On punch cards.

Negropolis February 13, 2012 at 11:45 pm

I like how you guys used to use the word dizzy. We need to bring that back.

user-of-owls February 14, 2012 at 2:00 pm

Roots. Need to pass the tribal history on lest it be forgotten. Behold:
http://wonkette.com/343956/our-hero-peggy-noonan-

Mahousu February 13, 2012 at 9:13 pm

He looks kind of dead in the picture he posted on his Twitter feed. Usually, people choose the most flattering picture possible for their profiles, so I assume he really looks more like this.

Man0nTheStreet February 14, 2012 at 1:56 am

The Cuban guy is 111 years old, so that means his Entire World has Changed – Twice!

C_R_Eature February 13, 2012 at 9:18 pm

A sphincter types what?

Slim_Pickins February 13, 2012 at 9:27 pm

Shouldn't that read, "i haz a Iphone"?

smokefilledroommate February 13, 2012 at 10:29 pm

Can Grassley haz cheezburger?

DustBowlBlues February 13, 2012 at 9:31 pm

Well, hell. I've been on my deathbed and away from the wonket for more than a week and I miss my chance to welcome Jim Back. So, hey! Welcome back to both you and me.

I have no time yet again since I'm catching up on shit I left undone while I was dying (but, obviously, lived.) I guess this means I missed the discussion of the OK state senator Connie Johnson;s (D–Urban District.) (Yes, we have a few Democrats who get elected to the lege, thank you very much) pro-life rider on the zygotes are people, too, bill.

Hell, squared. At any rate, Jim, don't let my near brush with death (I had a terrible cold, okay?) ruin your "Yes. Home again" buzz.

ShaveTheWhales February 14, 2012 at 1:21 am

Sorry to hear you were sick; glad to hear you're recovering. Pretty much all you missed was CPAC, so the cold may not have been a bad trade.

We unanimously want to have Senator Johnson's children.

Barrelhse February 13, 2012 at 9:33 pm

Good news for Anonymous!

glamourdammerung February 13, 2012 at 9:51 pm

After they "hacked" Syria's President's email by guessing the password ("12345", seriously, I am not making that up), you are probably onto something.

GregComlish February 13, 2012 at 9:35 pm

I herd iphone uses large amnt of Nrg. Does Grassley need a strong source of Nrg to plug into his phone???

not that Dewey February 13, 2012 at 9:39 pm

How long before we have to hear about emailed pictures of Grassley's junk?

glamourdammerung February 13, 2012 at 9:50 pm

Are you assuming he is going to be sending pics of his junk to corn lobbyists and hit "send all" by mistake?

not that Dewey February 13, 2012 at 11:45 pm

Whatever it takes.

Spurning Beer February 13, 2012 at 10:12 pm

Grandpa Cornpants' junk? Yellow, bumpy, and covered in corn silk, I gotta assume.

flamingpdog February 13, 2012 at 11:05 pm

Thanx. Now I won't need to have another cup of coffee to stay up until midnight.

user-of-owls February 13, 2012 at 11:23 pm

Excuse me, Mr. Dewey is it? Yes, well we're from the International Criminal Court's Crimes Against Humanity division and we were wondering if we might have a word with you regarding this post. What's that? No, no, you won't need your keys, we'll take you in our car. Just step into the back seat if you would, now. That's a good fellow.

KotBR February 13, 2012 at 9:41 pm

h v an iphone, hr is m y pn s

#sentfromTweetDeck

ttommyunger February 13, 2012 at 10:27 pm

That's nice, Chuckles; go back to sleep now.

smokefilledroommate February 13, 2012 at 10:28 pm

That entire sentence typed out including punctuation is less than 140 characters. He must think abbreviating shit is inherently hip or something.

Negropolis February 13, 2012 at 11:28 pm

I can haz iFone?

Really, don't have one, don't want one.

barto February 14, 2012 at 12:10 am

OK. but was it "Sent by his iphone"? This is important, guys…

Antispandex February 14, 2012 at 12:18 am

Stil cnt figur out how to gt porn tho! Dam

SayItWithWookies February 14, 2012 at 1:34 am

SenGrassley cngrts on bn 8ble 2tell whol fcknworld u h v nthing2say.

SenGrassley My cts h v a tlscpe bt thtdznt mk thm astrnmrs. 2 bad tho thr nite vzn wlda md tht a gr8t c4reer 0ptn.

SenGrassley thr R 20mil stories n d Nkd Cty. Yrs isnt 1.

Man0nTheStreet February 14, 2012 at 2:03 am

#DubuqueSteamer

lulzmonger February 14, 2012 at 2:24 am

Welsh & Polish proofreaders wept.

DahBoner February 14, 2012 at 7:58 am

Sure do save a lot of time, leaving out them vowels…

Allmighty_Manos February 14, 2012 at 8:49 am

Retweeted 128 times? Who in the hell retweets something like that?

OurHoboSenator February 14, 2012 at 9:12 am

Um….I resemble that remark.

Limeylizzie February 14, 2012 at 10:09 am

I have to say that was one of my favourite threads , it seemed to bring out the silliest comments in the Wonkettes and also Owls was here.

MissTaken February 14, 2012 at 10:52 am

This thread will hold a special place in the Library of Congress.

actor212 February 14, 2012 at 11:00 am

It's 2 bad u dont haz a IQ, Chuck

DaRooster February 14, 2012 at 11:07 am

Hey Chuck… I think your iPhone is broked.

PlanetWingNut February 14, 2012 at 1:24 pm

"I thought Grindr was about teeth problems, scruff well who doesn't love furry creatures, and manhunt…well i can't explain that but im not now or have ever been gay"

bravo_sierra February 14, 2012 at 1:49 pm

You know what an iPhone makes really, really easy? Typing in complete sentences. It also learns your text patterns and favorite words, which means some poor iPhone is about to get really stupid.

James Michael Curley February 14, 2012 at 1:57 pm

Since I am sure he keeps it set on 'vibrate' I don't want to hear where he keeps it.

CheeseNPear February 14, 2012 at 3:12 pm

I'm not even going to read through all the comments, because I'm sure someone has already suggested it, but could a decent lex hacker please create a ChuckGrassley filter? I think that if you just start with the B1FF Filter and convert to lower case, you're half-way there.

Radiotherapy February 13, 2012 at 7:37 pm

He's gone anti-viral.

Crank_Tango February 13, 2012 at 7:40 pm

he's so old skool, he's anti-retro-viral.

Negropolis February 13, 2012 at 11:31 pm

ROTFLMAO!

Chichikovovich February 13, 2012 at 9:36 pm

Huh. This time it works. I have no idea why all my greater than signs got turned into html code which then didn't work….
Ah, got it. They were originally OK, but then got switched to html code when I tried to edit. Mystery solved.
OK, here's what that last line was supposed to look like:

Sffr slngs & ->'s of >;:-o frtn > arms gnst C trbles?

Loaded_Pants February 13, 2012 at 11:35 pm

If they can wash dishes with their legs, they clearly are a keeper.

MittBorg February 13, 2012 at 11:53 pm

Is that on the checklist, like being able to tie knots in cherry stems with your tongue?

Comments on this entry are closed.

Previous post:

Next post: