Let Us Remember Whitney Houston, With Sarah Palin

  monday fun video

Has your Wonkette not even commemorated Whitney Houston yet? What a singer, what a voice. Before there was Nobama, before there was Mittens, there was only one: Whitney. What a horrible, depressing end to a life of Song. Here is Sarah Palin agreeing with us and providing the “political angle” that this story so desperately needed. [Fishbowl DC]

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Jim Newell is Wonkette's beloved Capitol Hill Typing Demon. He joined Wonkette.com in 2007, left for some other dumb job in 2010, and proudly returned in 2012 as our "Senior Editor at Large." He lives in Washington and also writes for things such as The Guardian, the Manchester paper of liberals.

View all articles by Jim Newell

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156 comments

          1. Steverino247

            Yeah, I saw that and posted about it below before I saw your comment. (Wonkette's bouncing around again, today so it's harder to read it)

  1. flamingpdog

    Too much heavy breathing there the first 30 seconds of the video. Could have used more more heavy breathing and less lightweight babble for the final 21 seconds.

    1. Rotundo_

      Wow, brilliant but with that same sort of Dorothy Parker in a really bad mood razor sharp nasty that could cleave a tombstone in two with a mirror finish on the cut. Dayum.

      1. Loaded_Pants

        Her career went into the crapper. She went into the tub.

        I will now go flog myself for typing that.

  2. widestanceshakedown

    Finally, the tragedy makes sense because now I can always remember where I was when I discovered what it means to Sarah.

    1. Steverino247

      I used to work outreach to the homeless mentally ill, and you DO NOT WANT to do that. The doctors will be removing your nose next, Barb!

      1. flamingpdog

        What an amazing coincidence – Whitney Houston just bought the farm!

        Yeah, yeah, I know, Mittborg, "pdog, you're bad."

      1. Crank_Tango

        the idea of sarah palin and blowing in the same thought is like grinding my dick against the chalkboard, only horrifying and painful.

  3. MissTaken

    Maybe I haven't seen Sarah in a while but her face looks a little puffy. Did she have the chin Bristol removed injected into her? Or is our Sarah just showing her Stay Puft Marshmallow Monster that we all knew was inside her?

    1. Barrelhse

      Looks like some "walnuts" starting to develop- it must be a contagious condition that she picked up from McCain.

    1. HateMachine

      Palin would only rail against the lack of bathtub safety talk in the SOTU if a full third of Obama's speech had been a plug for Walk-In Tubs.

  4. Barb

    Gosh, I wonder who will be on the cover of the National Enquirer this week? Callista Gingrich was on the cover this week with her story of being a lesbian and her husband being a hasbian. Whitney Houston, we have a problem!

        1. LagunaB

          Grew up in Laguna beach (artist community) of extremely lefty parents. In a ultra right wing private enclave. It warped me for life. Thank Jeebus. It helped to be a wayward Irish (catholic)(redundant phrase). Y ustedes?

  5. Chet Kincaid

    I understand from the disgusting, collective id of the American Internet that no white entertainer has ever died from a drug problem, so this just goes to show you about those people.

      1. BerkeleyBear

        Nope – that was Belushi with the sideburns. Not sure why the Lizard King would hang out with Brother Bluto (other than the obvious fact he's got great connections), but there you go.

    1. Rotundo_

      It's always fun to see their expression when you bring up Judy Garland, Elvis, Pick an Allman brother, Keith Moon, and if they're hardcore bubbas, Hank Williams Sr. They mumble for a moment or two and change the subject really quickly. They usually fire off shit like this when they don't have the time to actually think before taking pen to hand or index finger to keyboard.

      1. Loaded_Pants

        They'd have to give Hank a saline drip & pour coffee down his throat before shoving him onstage so that he'd be able to perform.

      1. e_z

        Awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwl-right!

        I'm on a mission from God and I'm putting the Band back together, Jake Blues is BACK.

    2. BerkeleyBear

      Yep. Just say no works, only the gays get the AIDS, and beer can't get you drunk. Too, also.

      In the idiots' defense, though, lots of white stars die of things that are related to but not directly drugs (Phil Hartman's insufficiently medicated wife killing him comes to mind). Just wait until Britney Spears/Lindsey Lohan et al hit their 40s – they'll be dropping like flies.

      1. Loaded_Pants

        From recent pics of her, I thought Lohan was already in her 40s?

        Sorry, thought I was on gawker there for a sec.

        1. NorthStarSpanx

          Perhaps maybe too, this is news to white artists Michael Hutchinson and Stuart Adamson (Big Country) also too there.

    1. LettucePrey

      Whitney and Michael are dead. Courtney Love and Keith Richards are alive. Death is a racist motherfucker.

      1. Crank_Tango

        well, dean martin was just drinking apple juice and keith richards was just snorting his dad, so there's that.

      2. Loaded_Pants

        You forgot Ozzy. Man used to drink more than Keith Richards, Alice Cooper, and all the Southern Rock bands combined.

      3. BerkeleyBear

        Well, Death did take Cobain. Although that did lead to waaaay too many people playing attention to Courtney.

    1. NorthStarSpanx

      Mavenmaven, we are rallying a Million Mom's to get artificially inseminated with sextuplets or more to have those precious feti count as people (to be incorporated for the reality show tba) so that we each can have 7 votes for the POTUS.

  6. meatlofer

    I can't take anything she says seriously, unless Turkeys are being slaughterd in the background,also.

  7. LettucePrey

    Here is every Facebook post of the last two days:
    "Requisite acknowledgement of celebrity death… before her time, wasn't she great in, who can forget, look at this picture in her prime."

  8. SayItWithWookies

    I watched the video, but it was hard to make out what Sarah said with all that awful din going on. The noise in the background was kinda disruptive too.

  9. ManchuCandidate

    I know that the Palins aren't our future
    Ignore them well and don't let them grift away
    Expose them for the stupidity they possess inside
    Tear down their sense of unearned pride to make things easier

    Their greatest love of all
    Is pathetic to achieve
    Focusing on the love of one's self
    It is the saddest love of all

  10. YouBetcha

    Dear Universe,
    I propose a trade. You give us back Whitney Houston, and we'll give you Former Governor Snowbunny Palin. It doesn't even need to be Whitney circa 1987, it can be the post-Bobby Brown Whitney. To sweeten the pot, we'll throw in one or all of the Palin grand/kids. Any of them, all of them Katie.
    Let us know,
    Humanity

    1. not that Dewey

      Sarah's PR person: At least she said something vaguely bland and not insanely offensive.

      Santorum's and Romney's PR people, in unison: OKAY STOP RUBBING IT IN

  11. anniegetyerfun

    Well, c'mon, to be fair, why would you ask someone like Sarah Palin about this? Or about anything?

    1. northernbassist

      Хорошо. Этот так лучше, да:?

      "Emergency–everybody to grab axe handles and beat grifter from street!

  12. BaldarTFlagass

    Do I really want to hear what Sarah Palin has to say about this?
    *scratches chin, looks pensive*
    No, absolutely not.

  13. poorgradstudent

    The tragedy is that Whitney needed lots of hard drugs to get as high as Sarah Palin is, naturally.

  14. JackObin

    Billy Holiday sang. Whitney Houston screeched. Making alot of money doesn't necessarily mean one can sing. Sorry about the bath tub thing, but let's be frank.

    1. Rotundo_

      Unfair comparison, like comparing a 9mm to a 16 inch deck gun on the battleship Missouri since they both fire projectiles. But in her prime Whitney didn't need any electronic means to do what she did, which by comparison to the modern "can't set foot on stage without my auto tune" crowd, was great. Ms.Holiday is beyond comparison with mortals.

  15. Tundra Grifter

    "There's only one: Whitney?"

    That would be Richard Whitney? The former President of the New York Stock Exchange, sent to Sing Sing Prison in '38?

    Immortalized by Bugs Bunny, "What an embezzler!"

    No? Wrong Whitney?

    Sorry – never mind…

      1. Tundra Grifter

        "My uncle invented 'cotton gin.'"

        "Cotton gin?"

        "It's a white fuzzy drink."

        ~ Stolen from a long ago cartoon.

  16. DrOzarkZ.Hellbender

    This post reminds me of the radial engine used in the classic P-47 Thunderbolt fighter plane.

    Because this post is about a prat & Whitney.

  17. fuflans

    gross gross gross grossgross gross gross grossgross gross gross grossgross gross gross grossgross gross gross grossgross gross gross grossgross gross gross grossgross gross gross grossgross gross gross grossgross gross gross grossgross gross gross grossgross gross gross grossgross gross gross grossgross gross gross grossgross gross gross grossgross gross gross grossgross gross gross grossgross gross gross grossgross gross gross grossgross gross gross grossgross gross gross grossgross gross gross grossgross gross gross grossgross gross gross grossgross gross gross grossgross gross gross grossgross gross gross grossgross gross gross grossgross gross gross grossgross gross gross gross

  18. Negropolis

    Wait, where was the political angle? That Sarah answered a question about it?

    I'm not usually one to complain about quality, but between this and a rather innocuous tweet by Grassley, we've been gettin' some slim pickin's here, lately, let me tell you…

  19. DaRooster

    Musta had a couple of "glasses" of "wine"… (and by glasses I mean pitchers & by wine I mean Vodka)

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