MONDAY FUN VIDEO  5:33 pm February 13, 2012

Let Us Remember Whitney Houston, With Sarah Palin

by Jim Newell

Has your Wonkette not even commemorated Whitney Houston yet? What a singer, what a voice. Before there was Nobama, before there was Mittens, there was only one: Whitney. What a horrible, depressing end to a life of Song. Here is Sarah Palin agreeing with us and providing the “political angle” that this story so desperately needed. [Fishbowl DC]

 
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{ 156 comments }

BarackMyWorld February 13, 2012 at 5:36 pm

AND IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII WILL ALWAYS LLOOOOOVE MEEEEEEEEEEEEEE…

chascates February 13, 2012 at 5:36 pm

Sarah, I will always HATE you!!!!!! EE-oooooooo!

johnnyzhivago February 13, 2012 at 5:40 pm

I'd blame Obama. Celebrity bathtub drownings are up over 100% since he took office..

MissTaken February 13, 2012 at 5:41 pm

Are you saying Obama is the Bathtub Drowning President?

Crank_Tango February 13, 2012 at 5:44 pm

historically speaking. most bathtub-drowningest president since 1860.

flamingpdog February 13, 2012 at 5:48 pm

As opposed to the, historically speaking, most bathtub-trappingest President.

Crank_Tango February 13, 2012 at 5:51 pm

too soon!

Biff February 13, 2012 at 7:39 pm

Norquist would disagree.

Beowoof February 13, 2012 at 7:16 pm

Yet the celebrity you hope will drown in the tub keeps talking on Fox News.

flamingpdog February 13, 2012 at 5:40 pm

Too much heavy breathing there the first 30 seconds of the video. Could have used more more heavy breathing and less lightweight babble for the final 21 seconds.

Loaded_Pants February 13, 2012 at 6:29 pm

It's just like Sarah & Todd's sex tape, isn't it?

memzilla February 13, 2012 at 5:40 pm
Rotundo_ February 13, 2012 at 6:11 pm

Wow, brilliant but with that same sort of Dorothy Parker in a really bad mood razor sharp nasty that could cleave a tombstone in two with a mirror finish on the cut. Dayum.

anniegetyerfun February 13, 2012 at 6:30 pm

Wait, I thought her career was in the crapper?

Loaded_Pants February 13, 2012 at 8:18 pm

Her career went into the crapper. She went into the tub.

I will now go flog myself for typing that.

MittBorg February 13, 2012 at 9:46 pm

It's dead. Just like her.

jus_wonderin February 14, 2012 at 10:38 am

"Houston. We have a problem."

Sharkey February 13, 2012 at 5:40 pm

Do you like teh drugz too, Sarah?

Sharkey February 13, 2012 at 8:09 pm

(too soon, dude.)

Schmannnity February 13, 2012 at 5:41 pm

Two body guards in the video. Whitney only had Costner.

chicken_thief February 14, 2012 at 9:50 am

Lou Sarah the Jerb Creator!

widestanceshakedown February 13, 2012 at 5:41 pm

Finally, the tragedy makes sense because now I can always remember where I was when I discovered what it means to Sarah.

flamingpdog February 13, 2012 at 5:41 pm

Sarah, your talents pale in comparison to Whitney's.

LagunaB February 13, 2012 at 6:14 pm

You mean the scholarship program queen?

Radiotherapy February 13, 2012 at 8:24 pm

But I wouldn't call her blah.

Barb February 13, 2012 at 5:42 pm

Ugh, I'd rather stick my face in a homeless dude's ass than to listen to Palin right now.

flamingpdog February 13, 2012 at 5:43 pm

Soundz like you need moar drugs, Barb. Take it from Whitney … oh, never mind.

Barb February 13, 2012 at 5:46 pm

Oh my!

Steverino247 February 13, 2012 at 7:00 pm

I used to work outreach to the homeless mentally ill, and you DO NOT WANT to do that. The doctors will be removing your nose next, Barb!

Loaded_Pants February 13, 2012 at 8:03 pm

Or your entire face.

MittBorg February 13, 2012 at 9:47 pm

My hat's off to you, sir. That was kind indeed.

Steverino247 February 14, 2012 at 1:13 am

It was interesting work, to say the least.

Barrelhse February 13, 2012 at 7:36 pm

I just sold the house.

MittBorg February 13, 2012 at 9:48 pm

Yay! Really?

flamingpdog February 13, 2012 at 11:51 pm

What an amazing coincidence – Whitney Houston just bought the farm!

Yeah, yeah, I know, Mittborg, "pdog, you're bad."

Antispandex February 13, 2012 at 5:42 pm

Wow, the wind was really blowing there…and so was Sarah.

Jim Newell February 13, 2012 at 5:42 pm

IT SURE WAS BLOWING

Crank_Tango February 13, 2012 at 5:46 pm

the idea of sarah palin and blowing in the same thought is like grinding my dick against the chalkboard, only horrifying and painful.

Beowoof February 13, 2012 at 7:31 pm

Yet Todd has to find Shaley Tripp to do it for him.

coolhandnuke February 13, 2012 at 5:42 pm

Who gives a whit what this whitey witless whiny Wasila word whore waxes Whitney.

LagunaB February 13, 2012 at 6:16 pm

Does she know Whitney was blah?

BTWBFDIMHO February 13, 2012 at 10:53 pm

Wow!

Barb February 13, 2012 at 5:43 pm

Sarah v Whitney. Wonder who banged more black men?

Jukesgrrl February 13, 2012 at 6:01 pm

I think you're recovering.

anniegetyerfun February 13, 2012 at 6:31 pm

Aaand she's back, folks!

Barb February 13, 2012 at 6:47 pm

Annie, you make me misbehave!

anniegetyerfun February 13, 2012 at 6:50 pm

Ha! If only I could take credit for your (somewhat twisted) comedic genius.

Guppy February 13, 2012 at 6:48 pm

As opposed to getting banged up by one?

Radiotherapy February 13, 2012 at 8:25 pm

Barb is crackin' again.

MissTaken February 13, 2012 at 5:43 pm

Maybe I haven't seen Sarah in a while but her face looks a little puffy. Did she have the chin Bristol removed injected into her? Or is our Sarah just showing her Stay Puft Marshmallow Monster that we all knew was inside her?

LagunaB February 13, 2012 at 6:17 pm

That bitch would never win best in breed. Too under-shot.

Barrelhse February 13, 2012 at 7:39 pm

Looks like some "walnuts" starting to develop- it must be a contagious condition that she picked up from McCain.

MittBorg February 13, 2012 at 9:49 pm

She's turning into a ballchinian?

johnnyzhivago February 13, 2012 at 5:44 pm

Bathtub safety: Missing from Obama's SOTU address.

HateMachine February 13, 2012 at 10:11 pm

Palin would only rail against the lack of bathtub safety talk in the SOTU if a full third of Obama's speech had been a plug for Walk-In Tubs.

Chillwillard February 13, 2012 at 5:44 pm

That cunt.

Jim Newell February 13, 2012 at 5:47 pm

Cut it out

Chet Kincaid February 13, 2012 at 5:53 pm

You're not going to start making up random new rules are you? "That cunt" has been perfectly acceptable around here while you were gone.

JackDempsey1 February 13, 2012 at 5:55 pm

Respect the blueness, kind sir.

Chillwillard February 13, 2012 at 5:57 pm

Damn, I just got newelled.

Sharkey February 14, 2012 at 10:26 am

Happens to the best of us.

finallyhappy February 13, 2012 at 5:59 pm

That is the one "bad word" I have never said.

Jukesgrrl February 13, 2012 at 6:02 pm

Thank you.

Monsieur_Grumpe February 13, 2012 at 6:04 pm

How about that twat?

Beowoof February 13, 2012 at 7:33 pm

Asshole seems more appropriate, both literally and figuratively.

DrOzarkZ.Hellbender February 13, 2012 at 8:08 pm

That what?

ThundercatHo February 13, 2012 at 8:33 pm

Did you drop the banhammer on Bruce Major yet?

BTWBFDIMHO February 13, 2012 at 10:55 pm

Yes, please, it remains me of McCain. And Bush.

Barb February 13, 2012 at 5:49 pm

Gosh, I wonder who will be on the cover of the National Enquirer this week? Callista Gingrich was on the cover this week with her story of being a lesbian and her husband being a hasbian. Whitney Houston, we have a problem!

LagunaB February 13, 2012 at 6:20 pm

Her husband with his tit showing on Newsweek was just too much. Still nauseous. Gotten to run.

Barb February 13, 2012 at 6:34 pm

Hi Laguna, I like your name. What does it mean?

LagunaB February 13, 2012 at 10:15 pm

Grew up in Laguna beach (artist community) of extremely lefty parents. In a ultra right wing private enclave. It warped me for life. Thank Jeebus. It helped to be a wayward Irish (catholic)(redundant phrase). Y ustedes?

Beowoof February 13, 2012 at 7:33 pm

Maybe Callista just likes being done with a strap-on, just like Newt.

Chet Kincaid February 13, 2012 at 5:49 pm

I understand from the disgusting, collective id of the American Internet that no white entertainer has ever died from a drug problem, so this just goes to show you about those people.

SexySmurf February 13, 2012 at 5:59 pm

Are you saying I didn't really see Elvis and Jim Morrison eating together at Quiznos?

Monsieur_Grumpe February 13, 2012 at 6:03 pm

Was Janis Joplin under the table?

BerkeleyBear February 13, 2012 at 6:54 pm

Nope – that was Belushi with the sideburns. Not sure why the Lizard King would hang out with Brother Bluto (other than the obvious fact he's got great connections), but there you go.

Rotundo_ February 13, 2012 at 6:02 pm

It's always fun to see their expression when you bring up Judy Garland, Elvis, Pick an Allman brother, Keith Moon, and if they're hardcore bubbas, Hank Williams Sr. They mumble for a moment or two and change the subject really quickly. They usually fire off shit like this when they don't have the time to actually think before taking pen to hand or index finger to keyboard.

Loaded_Pants February 13, 2012 at 6:45 pm

They'd have to give Hank a saline drip & pour coffee down his throat before shoving him onstage so that he'd be able to perform.

Chet Kincaid February 13, 2012 at 7:10 pm

In other words, "all the time."

Chillwillard February 13, 2012 at 6:06 pm

Which category does Jacko fit into? (Too soon?)

e_z February 13, 2012 at 6:15 pm

Awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwl-right!

I'm on a mission from God and I'm putting the Band back together, Jake Blues is BACK.

Blueb4sunrise February 13, 2012 at 6:14 pm

Don't forget whatsername…….damn…not too long ago….two months?

Geminisunmars February 13, 2012 at 6:33 pm

She was a brit. Doesn't count.

Beowoof February 13, 2012 at 7:35 pm

She probably should have went to rehab.

Geminisunmars February 13, 2012 at 7:39 pm

No…no…no

BerkeleyBear February 13, 2012 at 7:02 pm

Yep. Just say no works, only the gays get the AIDS, and beer can't get you drunk. Too, also.

In the idiots' defense, though, lots of white stars die of things that are related to but not directly drugs (Phil Hartman's insufficiently medicated wife killing him comes to mind). Just wait until Britney Spears/Lindsey Lohan et al hit their 40s – they'll be dropping like flies.

Loaded_Pants February 13, 2012 at 8:00 pm

From recent pics of her, I thought Lohan was already in her 40s?

Sorry, thought I was on gawker there for a sec.

NorthStarSpanx February 14, 2012 at 10:09 am

Perhaps maybe too, this is news to white artists Michael Hutchinson and Stuart Adamson (Big Country) also too there.

JackDempsey1 February 13, 2012 at 5:50 pm

"Whitney" is one simple "n" away from "Whitey."
So there's that connection.

SayItWithWookies February 13, 2012 at 5:59 pm

I heard there's a tape somewhere of Michelle Obama saying "I hate Whitney."

Negropolis February 13, 2012 at 11:54 pm

ROTFLMAO!

I haven't laughed this hard in a very long time.

LettucePrey February 13, 2012 at 6:01 pm

Whitney and Michael are dead. Courtney Love and Keith Richards are alive. Death is a racist motherfucker.

Crank_Tango February 13, 2012 at 6:20 pm

well, dean martin was just drinking apple juice and keith richards was just snorting his dad, so there's that.

Loaded_Pants February 13, 2012 at 6:52 pm

You forgot Ozzy. Man used to drink more than Keith Richards, Alice Cooper, and all the Southern Rock bands combined.

BerkeleyBear February 13, 2012 at 7:07 pm

Well, Death did take Cobain. Although that did lead to waaaay too many people playing attention to Courtney.

mavenmaven February 13, 2012 at 5:53 pm

"Very tragic, on the other hand, one less vote for Nobama!"

NorthStarSpanx February 14, 2012 at 10:11 am

Mavenmaven, we are rallying a Million Mom's to get artificially inseminated with sextuplets or more to have those precious feti count as people (to be incorporated for the reality show tba) so that we each can have 7 votes for the POTUS.

meatlofer February 13, 2012 at 5:53 pm

I can't take anything she says seriously, unless Turkeys are being slaughterd in the background,also.

LettucePrey February 13, 2012 at 5:58 pm

Here is every Facebook post of the last two days:
"Requisite acknowledgement of celebrity death… before her time, wasn't she great in, who can forget, look at this picture in her prime."

SayItWithWookies February 13, 2012 at 6:01 pm

I watched the video, but it was hard to make out what Sarah said with all that awful din going on. The noise in the background was kinda disruptive too.

Monsieur_Grumpe February 13, 2012 at 6:01 pm

She looks guilty.

Designer_Rants February 13, 2012 at 6:42 pm

If we didn't already know she was at CPUKE this weekend… Does Palin have a double?

flamingpdog February 13, 2012 at 6:53 pm

I always feel like ordering a double after listening to Sarah.

Loaded_Pants February 13, 2012 at 6:55 pm

Was Sarah in Beverly Hills the afternoon of the 11th?

Blueb4sunrise February 13, 2012 at 6:03 pm

She was coming out of Matisse Restaurant?

I don't see Caribou Ass on the menu.
http://www.matisserestaurantdc.com/index.htm

DerrickWildcat February 13, 2012 at 6:04 pm

It was beast that killed the beauty.

ManchuCandidate February 13, 2012 at 6:14 pm

I know that the Palins aren't our future
Ignore them well and don't let them grift away
Expose them for the stupidity they possess inside
Tear down their sense of unearned pride to make things easier

Their greatest love of all
Is pathetic to achieve
Focusing on the love of one's self
It is the saddest love of all

MinAgain February 13, 2012 at 6:20 pm

Someone is just begging to be haunted.

YouBetcha February 13, 2012 at 6:21 pm

Dear Universe,
I propose a trade. You give us back Whitney Houston, and we'll give you Former Governor Snowbunny Palin. It doesn't even need to be Whitney circa 1987, it can be the post-Bobby Brown Whitney. To sweeten the pot, we'll throw in one or all of the Palin grand/kids. Any of them, all of them Katie.
Let us know,
Humanity

Barrelhse February 13, 2012 at 6:25 pm

What a phony piece of shit.

neiltheblaze February 13, 2012 at 6:29 pm

At least she said something vaguely bland and not insanely offensive.

not that Dewey February 13, 2012 at 6:40 pm

Sarah's PR person: At least she said something vaguely bland and not insanely offensive.

Santorum's and Romney's PR people, in unison: OKAY STOP RUBBING IT IN

Loaded_Pants February 13, 2012 at 8:16 pm

Bland LIBEL!

anniegetyerfun February 13, 2012 at 6:36 pm

Well, c'mon, to be fair, why would you ask someone like Sarah Palin about this? Or about anything?

ifthethunderdontgetya February 13, 2012 at 6:37 pm

"You gotta get outta the way."

Oh yes, we have a celebu-grifter coming through.

Everybody to get from street!
~

northernbassist February 13, 2012 at 7:18 pm

Хорошо. Этот так лучше, да:?

"Emergency–everybody to grab axe handles and beat grifter from street!

BaldarTFlagass February 13, 2012 at 6:39 pm

Do I really want to hear what Sarah Palin has to say about this?
*scratches chin, looks pensive*
No, absolutely not.

owhatever February 13, 2012 at 6:43 pm

Can we see the death certificate?

poorgradstudent February 13, 2012 at 6:43 pm

The tragedy is that Whitney needed lots of hard drugs to get as high as Sarah Palin is, naturally.

Steverino247 February 13, 2012 at 6:51 pm

This post deleted because somebody pointed it out earlier than I did.

rocktonsam February 13, 2012 at 7:01 pm

this from someone who thinks tragic is a good thing.

JackObin February 13, 2012 at 7:27 pm

Billy Holiday sang. Whitney Houston screeched. Making alot of money doesn't necessarily mean one can sing. Sorry about the bath tub thing, but let's be frank.

Rotundo_ February 13, 2012 at 7:44 pm

Unfair comparison, like comparing a 9mm to a 16 inch deck gun on the battleship Missouri since they both fire projectiles. But in her prime Whitney didn't need any electronic means to do what she did, which by comparison to the modern "can't set foot on stage without my auto tune" crowd, was great. Ms.Holiday is beyond comparison with mortals.

Loaded_Pants February 13, 2012 at 7:54 pm

I'd like to think there's a special place in hell for whoever developed auto tune.

Dashboard Buddha February 13, 2012 at 8:15 pm

Yep and that hell is Sarah Palin singing the Whitney Houston catalog through Auto Tune

Loaded_Pants February 13, 2012 at 9:28 pm

And that hell probably has rivers of ear-blood instead of fire.

BTWBFDIMHO February 13, 2012 at 10:58 pm

Well said. She was, let's make cheap pop music from the gospelian one. Aggh.

fuflans February 13, 2012 at 11:24 pm

huh. that's not my understanding from, you know, actual musicians.

but then i'm an actor. what do i know.

Tundra Grifter February 13, 2012 at 7:50 pm

"There's only one: Whitney?"

That would be Richard Whitney? The former President of the New York Stock Exchange, sent to Sing Sing Prison in '38?

Immortalized by Bugs Bunny, "What an embezzler!"

No? Wrong Whitney?

Sorry – never mind…

Spurning Beer February 13, 2012 at 9:21 pm

Eli. Inventor of the cotton gin and tonic.

MittBorg February 13, 2012 at 10:08 pm

Well, in all fairness the tonic was needed after enduring the gin.

Tundra Grifter February 14, 2012 at 9:27 am

"My uncle invented 'cotton gin.'"

"Cotton gin?"

"It's a white fuzzy drink."

~ Stolen from a long ago cartoon.

DrOzarkZ.Hellbender February 13, 2012 at 8:06 pm

This post reminds me of the radial engine used in the classic P-47 Thunderbolt fighter plane.

Because this post is about a prat & Whitney.

Dashboard Buddha February 13, 2012 at 8:12 pm

Nicely done.

C_R_Eature February 13, 2012 at 8:58 pm

This has been my Official Favorite Thing today.

MosesInvests February 13, 2012 at 9:46 pm

Golf clap.

Tundra Grifter February 14, 2012 at 9:28 am

Actually, I think it's about a brat & Whitney.

Sharkey February 13, 2012 at 8:18 pm

Has anyone mentioned Phil Lynott?

YasserArraFeck February 14, 2012 at 5:04 pm

Unwhite and Irish – definitely had it coming

C_R_Eature February 13, 2012 at 8:57 pm

I'm Not Watching This. And you can't make me.

Oh, all right, But with the sound off, dammit!

LakeLucilleLoon February 13, 2012 at 9:18 pm

Well, at least when asked which was her favorite Whitney song she didn't reply "all of them".

LibrulEleet February 13, 2012 at 10:22 pm

Is that a Christmas tree? In February?

ttommyunger February 13, 2012 at 10:32 pm

Off mike: "Airy ain't it? Sarah: "Ow would ye have it, bald?" Rimshot.

Sheesko February 13, 2012 at 10:54 pm

Grifter got her swag bag. Surprised she didn't grab several, for the family, also.

fuflans February 13, 2012 at 11:25 pm

gross gross gross grossgross gross gross grossgross gross gross grossgross gross gross grossgross gross gross grossgross gross gross grossgross gross gross grossgross gross gross grossgross gross gross grossgross gross gross grossgross gross gross grossgross gross gross grossgross gross gross grossgross gross gross grossgross gross gross grossgross gross gross grossgross gross gross grossgross gross gross grossgross gross gross grossgross gross gross grossgross gross gross grossgross gross gross grossgross gross gross grossgross gross gross grossgross gross gross grossgross gross gross grossgross gross gross grossgross gross gross grossgross gross gross grossgross gross gross gross

ElPinche February 13, 2012 at 11:26 pm

Sexual chocolate!!!

fuflans February 13, 2012 at 11:31 pm

oh hai, sra:

u suk nd hav no skillz go way not watching

fuflans

Callyson February 13, 2012 at 11:50 pm

Whitney's reply to Saint Sarah:
It's Not Right But It's OK http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6J538b-OLRU

Negropolis February 13, 2012 at 11:50 pm

Wait, where was the political angle? That Sarah answered a question about it?

I'm not usually one to complain about quality, but between this and a rather innocuous tweet by Grassley, we've been gettin' some slim pickin's here, lately, let me tell you…

DahBoner February 14, 2012 at 8:20 am

Did Whitney Houston remember Sarah Palin in her will?

Who got the glass dick?

DaRooster February 14, 2012 at 9:29 am

Musta had a couple of "glasses" of "wine"… (and by glasses I mean pitchers & by wine I mean Vodka)

LettucePrey February 13, 2012 at 6:00 pm

No, this is too soon.

Steverino247 February 13, 2012 at 6:53 pm

Yeah, I saw that and posted about it below before I saw your comment. (Wonkette's bouncing around again, today so it's harder to read it)

Beowoof February 13, 2012 at 7:21 pm

Always bad taste, always. Although I have to admit I do love my shirt from them.
http://funnytshirts.savatoons.com/texas.html

I had to post the link, the last time I used the word I was deleted.

weej_bain February 13, 2012 at 7:24 pm

Nice way to sneak the R word in without going to Cyrillic characters.

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