Has your Wonkette not even commemorated Whitney Houston yet? What a singer, what a voice. Before there was Nobama, before there was Mittens, there was only one: Whitney. What a horrible, depressing end to a life of Song. Here is Sarah Palin agreeing with us and providing the “political angle” that this story so desperately needed. [Fishbowl DC]
MONDAY FUN VIDEO 5:33 pm February 13, 2012
Let Us Remember Whitney Houston, With Sarah Palin
Hola wonkerados.
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{ 156 comments }
AND IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII WILL ALWAYS LLOOOOOVE MEEEEEEEEEEEEEE…
Sarah, I will always HATE you!!!!!! EE-oooooooo!
I'd blame Obama. Celebrity bathtub drownings are up over 100% since he took office..
Are you saying Obama is the Bathtub Drowning President?
historically speaking. most bathtub-drowningest president since 1860.
As opposed to the, historically speaking, most bathtub-trappingest President.
too soon!
Norquist would disagree.
Yet the celebrity you hope will drown in the tub keeps talking on Fox News.
Too much heavy breathing there the first 30 seconds of the video. Could have used more more heavy breathing and less lightweight babble for the final 21 seconds.
It's just like Sarah & Todd's sex tape, isn't it?
Best Whitney comment.
Wow, brilliant but with that same sort of Dorothy Parker in a really bad mood razor sharp nasty that could cleave a tombstone in two with a mirror finish on the cut. Dayum.
Wait, I thought her career was in the crapper?
Her career went into the crapper. She went into the tub.
I will now go flog myself for typing that.
It's dead. Just like her.
"Houston. We have a problem."
Do you like teh drugz too, Sarah?
(too soon, dude.)
Two body guards in the video. Whitney only had Costner.
Lou Sarah the Jerb Creator!
Finally, the tragedy makes sense because now I can always remember where I was when I discovered what it means to Sarah.
Sarah, your talents pale in comparison to Whitney's.
You mean the scholarship program queen?
But I wouldn't call her blah.
Ugh, I'd rather stick my face in a homeless dude's ass than to listen to Palin right now.
Soundz like you need moar drugs, Barb. Take it from Whitney … oh, never mind.
Oh my!
I used to work outreach to the homeless mentally ill, and you DO NOT WANT to do that. The doctors will be removing your nose next, Barb!
Or your entire face.
My hat's off to you, sir. That was kind indeed.
It was interesting work, to say the least.
I just sold the house.
Yay! Really?
What an amazing coincidence – Whitney Houston just bought the farm!
Yeah, yeah, I know, Mittborg, "pdog, you're bad."
Wow, the wind was really blowing there…and so was Sarah.
IT SURE WAS BLOWING
the idea of sarah palin and blowing in the same thought is like grinding my dick against the chalkboard, only horrifying and painful.
Yet Todd has to find Shaley Tripp to do it for him.
Who gives a whit what this whitey witless whiny Wasila word whore waxes Whitney.
Does she know Whitney was blah?
Wow!
Sarah v Whitney. Wonder who banged more black men?
I think you're recovering.
Aaand she's back, folks!
Annie, you make me misbehave!
Ha! If only I could take credit for your (somewhat twisted) comedic genius.
As opposed to getting banged up by one?
Barb is crackin' again.
Maybe I haven't seen Sarah in a while but her face looks a little puffy. Did she have the chin Bristol removed injected into her? Or is our Sarah just showing her Stay Puft Marshmallow Monster that we all knew was inside her?
That bitch would never win best in breed. Too under-shot.
Looks like some "walnuts" starting to develop- it must be a contagious condition that she picked up from McCain.
She's turning into a ballchinian?
Bathtub safety: Missing from Obama's SOTU address.
Palin would only rail against the lack of bathtub safety talk in the SOTU if a full third of Obama's speech had been a plug for Walk-In Tubs.
That cunt.
Cut it out
You're not going to start making up random new rules are you? "That cunt" has been perfectly acceptable around here while you were gone.
Respect the blueness, kind sir.
Damn, I just got newelled.
Happens to the best of us.
That is the one "bad word" I have never said.
Thank you.
How about that twat?
Asshole seems more appropriate, both literally and figuratively.
That what?
Did you drop the banhammer on Bruce Major yet?
Yes, please, it remains me of McCain. And Bush.
Gosh, I wonder who will be on the cover of the National Enquirer this week? Callista Gingrich was on the cover this week with her story of being a lesbian and her husband being a hasbian. Whitney Houston, we have a problem!
Her husband with his tit showing on Newsweek was just too much. Still nauseous. Gotten to run.
Hi Laguna, I like your name. What does it mean?
Grew up in Laguna beach (artist community) of extremely lefty parents. In a ultra right wing private enclave. It warped me for life. Thank Jeebus. It helped to be a wayward Irish (catholic)(redundant phrase). Y ustedes?
Maybe Callista just likes being done with a strap-on, just like Newt.
I understand from the disgusting, collective id of the American Internet that no white entertainer has ever died from a drug problem, so this just goes to show you about those people.
Are you saying I didn't really see Elvis and Jim Morrison eating together at Quiznos?
Was Janis Joplin under the table?
Nope – that was Belushi with the sideburns. Not sure why the Lizard King would hang out with Brother Bluto (other than the obvious fact he's got great connections), but there you go.
It's always fun to see their expression when you bring up Judy Garland, Elvis, Pick an Allman brother, Keith Moon, and if they're hardcore bubbas, Hank Williams Sr. They mumble for a moment or two and change the subject really quickly. They usually fire off shit like this when they don't have the time to actually think before taking pen to hand or index finger to keyboard.
They'd have to give Hank a saline drip & pour coffee down his throat before shoving him onstage so that he'd be able to perform.
In other words, "all the time."
Which category does Jacko fit into? (Too soon?)
Awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwl-right!
I'm on a mission from God and I'm putting the Band back together, Jake Blues is BACK.
Don't forget whatsername…….damn…not too long ago….two months?
She was a brit. Doesn't count.
She probably should have went to rehab.
No…no…no
Yep. Just say no works, only the gays get the AIDS, and beer can't get you drunk. Too, also.
In the idiots' defense, though, lots of white stars die of things that are related to but not directly drugs (Phil Hartman's insufficiently medicated wife killing him comes to mind). Just wait until Britney Spears/Lindsey Lohan et al hit their 40s – they'll be dropping like flies.
From recent pics of her, I thought Lohan was already in her 40s?
Sorry, thought I was on gawker there for a sec.
Perhaps maybe too, this is news to white artists Michael Hutchinson and Stuart Adamson (Big Country) also too there.
"Whitney" is one simple "n" away from "Whitey."
So there's that connection.
I heard there's a tape somewhere of Michelle Obama saying "I hate Whitney."
ROTFLMAO!
I haven't laughed this hard in a very long time.
Whitney and Michael are dead. Courtney Love and Keith Richards are alive. Death is a racist motherfucker.
well, dean martin was just drinking apple juice and keith richards was just snorting his dad, so there's that.
You forgot Ozzy. Man used to drink more than Keith Richards, Alice Cooper, and all the Southern Rock bands combined.
Well, Death did take Cobain. Although that did lead to waaaay too many people playing attention to Courtney.
"Very tragic, on the other hand, one less vote for Nobama!"
Mavenmaven, we are rallying a Million Mom's to get artificially inseminated with sextuplets or more to have those precious feti count as people (to be incorporated for the reality show tba) so that we each can have 7 votes for the POTUS.
I can't take anything she says seriously, unless Turkeys are being slaughterd in the background,also.
Here is every Facebook post of the last two days:
"Requisite acknowledgement of celebrity death… before her time, wasn't she great in, who can forget, look at this picture in her prime."
I watched the video, but it was hard to make out what Sarah said with all that awful din going on. The noise in the background was kinda disruptive too.
She looks guilty.
If we didn't already know she was at CPUKE this weekend… Does Palin have a double?
I always feel like ordering a double after listening to Sarah.
Was Sarah in Beverly Hills the afternoon of the 11th?
She was coming out of Matisse Restaurant?
I don't see Caribou Ass on the menu.
http://www.matisserestaurantdc.com/index.htm
It was beast that killed the beauty.
I know that the Palins aren't our future
Ignore them well and don't let them grift away
Expose them for the stupidity they possess inside
Tear down their sense of unearned pride to make things easier
Their greatest love of all
Is pathetic to achieve
Focusing on the love of one's self
It is the saddest love of all
Someone is just begging to be haunted.
Dear Universe,
I propose a trade. You give us back Whitney Houston, and we'll give you Former Governor Snowbunny Palin. It doesn't even need to be Whitney circa 1987, it can be the post-Bobby Brown Whitney. To sweeten the pot, we'll throw in one or all of the Palin grand/kids. Any of them, all of them Katie.
Let us know,
Humanity
What a phony piece of shit.
At least she said something vaguely bland and not insanely offensive.
Sarah's PR person: At least she said something vaguely bland and not insanely offensive.
Santorum's and Romney's PR people, in unison: OKAY STOP RUBBING IT IN
Bland LIBEL!
Well, c'mon, to be fair, why would you ask someone like Sarah Palin about this? Or about anything?
"You gotta get outta the way."
Oh yes, we have a celebu-grifter coming through.
Everybody to get from street!
~
Хорошо. Этот так лучше, да:?
"Emergency–everybody to grab axe handles and beat grifter from street!
Do I really want to hear what Sarah Palin has to say about this?
*scratches chin, looks pensive*
No, absolutely not.
Can we see the death certificate?
The tragedy is that Whitney needed lots of hard drugs to get as high as Sarah Palin is, naturally.
This post deleted because somebody pointed it out earlier than I did.
this from someone who thinks tragic is a good thing.
Billy Holiday sang. Whitney Houston screeched. Making alot of money doesn't necessarily mean one can sing. Sorry about the bath tub thing, but let's be frank.
Unfair comparison, like comparing a 9mm to a 16 inch deck gun on the battleship Missouri since they both fire projectiles. But in her prime Whitney didn't need any electronic means to do what she did, which by comparison to the modern "can't set foot on stage without my auto tune" crowd, was great. Ms.Holiday is beyond comparison with mortals.
I'd like to think there's a special place in hell for whoever developed auto tune.
Yep and that hell is Sarah Palin singing the Whitney Houston catalog through Auto Tune
And that hell probably has rivers of ear-blood instead of fire.
Well said. She was, let's make cheap pop music from the gospelian one. Aggh.
huh. that's not my understanding from, you know, actual musicians.
but then i'm an actor. what do i know.
"There's only one: Whitney?"
That would be Richard Whitney? The former President of the New York Stock Exchange, sent to Sing Sing Prison in '38?
Immortalized by Bugs Bunny, "What an embezzler!"
No? Wrong Whitney?
Sorry – never mind…
Eli. Inventor of the cotton gin and tonic.
Well, in all fairness the tonic was needed after enduring the gin.
"My uncle invented 'cotton gin.'"
"Cotton gin?"
"It's a white fuzzy drink."
~ Stolen from a long ago cartoon.
This post reminds me of the radial engine used in the classic P-47 Thunderbolt fighter plane.
Because this post is about a prat & Whitney.
Nicely done.
This has been my Official Favorite Thing today.
Golf clap.
Actually, I think it's about a brat & Whitney.
Has anyone mentioned Phil Lynott?
Unwhite and Irish – definitely had it coming
I'm Not Watching This. And you can't make me.
Oh, all right, But with the sound off, dammit!
Well, at least when asked which was her favorite Whitney song she didn't reply "all of them".
Is that a Christmas tree? In February?
Off mike: "Airy ain't it? Sarah: "Ow would ye have it, bald?" Rimshot.
Grifter got her swag bag. Surprised she didn't grab several, for the family, also.
gross gross gross grossgross gross gross grossgross gross gross grossgross gross gross grossgross gross gross grossgross gross gross grossgross gross gross grossgross gross gross grossgross gross gross grossgross gross gross grossgross gross gross grossgross gross gross grossgross gross gross grossgross gross gross grossgross gross gross grossgross gross gross grossgross gross gross grossgross gross gross grossgross gross gross grossgross gross gross grossgross gross gross grossgross gross gross grossgross gross gross grossgross gross gross grossgross gross gross grossgross gross gross grossgross gross gross grossgross gross gross grossgross gross gross grossgross gross gross gross
Sexual chocolate!!!
oh hai, sra:
u suk nd hav no skillz go way not watching
fuflans
Whitney's reply to Saint Sarah:
It's Not Right But It's OK http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6J538b-OLRU
Wait, where was the political angle? That Sarah answered a question about it?
I'm not usually one to complain about quality, but between this and a rather innocuous tweet by Grassley, we've been gettin' some slim pickin's here, lately, let me tell you…
Did Whitney Houston remember Sarah Palin in her will?
Who got the glass dick?
Musta had a couple of "glasses" of "wine"… (and by glasses I mean pitchers & by wine I mean Vodka)
No, this is too soon.
Yeah, I saw that and posted about it below before I saw your comment. (Wonkette's bouncing around again, today so it's harder to read it)
Always bad taste, always. Although I have to admit I do love my shirt from them.
http://funnytshirts.savatoons.com/texas.html
I had to post the link, the last time I used the word I was deleted.
Nice way to sneak the R word in without going to Cyrillic characters.
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