Your Wonkette was performing its routine of googling “Romney” at the start of each morning for daily affirmation when lo, what was this third result that appeared? “SpreadingRomney.com,” a dictionary page defining the verb “Romney” as “defecating in terror.” This refers to his dog on top of the family car. When will the Internet grow up? Mitt Romney is going to be very displeased about this, Internet. That should be punishment enough. [The Atlantic Wire]
FORTUNATELY IT'S NOT AS BAD ON ALTAVISTA
February 13, 2012
Mitt Romney’s Google Results Sabotaged With Dog Poop
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{ 111 comments }
Mitt Rmoney: the new santorum.
nvb911:
Not new at all – just the same ole shit.
Fecal is as fecal does.
It's Republican fecal policy.
Needs moar fiber
This should make Gail Collins from the NYT happy.
I sent her this post.
"Romney" would make a good dog's name. Lot easier to yell than "(r)Money."
I also like "POTUS."
Not to mention "Romney's Santorum problem."
Sounds like maybe it was the dog that had the santorum problem.
You mean this problem? (Actual headline from today's NYT:)
Two New National Polls Show a Santorum Surge
Oh Internets … how I love you so.
I'd rather be the men's room attendant in an Indian restaurant than to think about this jerk today.
Watching the Delhi belly dancing?
So, Barb, you have a thing for Indian men, do you?
Dots, not feathers, yes.
These are the push-start Indians. The pony-tail signified a pull-start.
You'd still be surrounded by less shit..
You win, sir.
Less shit to deal with?
Is there a promotion involved?
Yeah, after five years they give me a brush.
(Gotta love Monty Python)
Does this mean I have to stop calling him "poopyhead"?
Actually it is quite suitable.
Considering most of his ideas can be termed as elephant shit, I think that dog poop is a step up for Rom the Scat-Bot.
Gingrich–"The profound cramping you experience while prepping for a colonoscopy."
Hey, colonoscopies are useful…
He's more like a cat turd stuck in the fur.
True, but that cramping is nasty stuff.
Put Neidermeyer on it. He's a sneaky little shit, just like you.
Shoulda never left teh wonkett, Jim–we've known about this poop joke for months already!
True that.
I was gonna say – wasn't this meme proposed on Wonkette?
Romney: scaring the shit out of 99% of all Americans.
I'm naming my next dog Willard. Just so he knows I mean business.
It gives an entirely new meaning to the headline quoted by Google just above: "Romney's Santorum Problem: No Easy Targets"
Well, ain't that the shit?
This is good news for Rick Santorum!
With all this shit, will we make it to Stupor Tuesday?
Sewer Tuesday, you mean
Jim, you Google Romney every day?
And here I thought you were so butch!
Shit happens. When you're a republican.
In fairness, Romney scares less shit out of me than the other Republican candidates. Now Newt — he's a real colon cleanser.
And if all votes were equal, Rmoney would be doomed politically. Citizens United fixed that by creating two classes of votes: those backed by large sums of money, and those that don't count.
Oh shit, I am at a loss for words.
Spell Romney.
Can you use that in a sentence?
When I realized that Rick Santorum was the president of the USA I romneyed in my pants.
Can we do a Romney/Santorum one that comes up with defecating frothy fecal and lube matter in terror?
To callistacate? And speaking of serious callistacation, a new Pee³ national poll has Santorum flushing Romney by 15 points. Holy shit, too, also.
Today, we shall all Romney a Santorum right in the Gingrich.
Mind you don't get reince all over your priebus, either.
You need more win than I can give.
Sad thing is that I am less likely to defecate in terror over the prospect of a Romney Presidency than I am a Santorum one….I guess that makes li'l Ricky the king of anus juice.
Seamus's Revenge!
(Suck it, Montezuma!)
Eh. This is a bad trend, just like the naming laws after dead children. The name Megan's Law doesn't help me remember what the fuck Megan's Law does, and Romney isn't gonna help me remember what is means to Romney, especially after this shit is pulled with Romney, Walker, Larry Craig, Anthony Weiner, Rick Scott or any of the long string of motherfuckers who deserve to be forgotten.
Every time I start one of her op-eds, or see her on the teevee, I wonder, "Why are this woman's opinions thought to be of any interest to anyone?"
Now class, please construct a sentence with the following words:
Romney
Santorum
Gingrich.
Are there rules? How many times can I enter? Is a purchase necessary?
Romney, Santorum, and Gingrich are the Three Horseman of the Apocalypse. Death split over creative differences and plans to go solo.
After Gingrich wiped the santorium off of his disease ridden cock on the drapes, I romneyed, fearing I might be next.
Ron Paul reads those sentences every day. I'm starting to feel bad for the guy.
Al Gore strikes again!
Oops wrong thread. Damn phone
This is especially ironic because Mitt Romney, being a robot, is incapable of consuming and digesting organic matter, much less egesting it. Also, he's unlikely to have any familiarity with the human emotion of "fear".
Wait, unless he's one of those new Cylons. Which would actually kinda make sense, given the Mormonism.
Potato chips in the 90's made me romney the bed. It was terrifying. One minute you're eating and then BOOM, bombs away.
No Romney jokes here. I'm just super bummed that I missed the troll infestation yesterday. Obviously these were guys who were frustrated because no one wanted to ream their fat assholes at all the CPAC after parties. I am imagining him as the fat guy in the beret watching the horrible rappers. He hurried home to his mom's basement and created 50 intense debate accounts in order to upfist himself into a frothy climax of stupidity. I kind of pity him in the moments between my pointing and laughing.
It was a bizarre day to be sure. The dumb fuck was still responding to stuff in the small hours of Monday. Everyone had signed off hours earlier. I'll take that as proof that he didn't get laid at all.
Wow, I missed all that, I will go and examine the thread, I did notice that the idiot who keeps changing his avatar and name "visited" me.
No Fair! It appears that only relatively sane people have visited me. I won't feel complete until I piss off a troll or two. It has now become my mission in life. Unfortunately I am easily distracted by shiny objects. Ooh! What's that?!
I know. It's been forever since Spanky and his Sock Puppets (band name trademark!) followed me.
The regina troll was kind of pathetic but the Bruce troll was actually pretty scary. I think the police might want to take a little look with some cadaver dogs into his mom's basement.
No shit. He's got "that look" about him, doesn't he?
I just got a chance to go back and read some more. I am convinced that regina was speaking in some sort of code. It may take someone more clever than me to crack it. See, it reads like she's special needs but its really genius.
"Regina" was trolling as a fake conservatard. She almost had it down, but overplayed her hand. (It's hard to fake the sophomoric thought processes of a libertardian without slipping down to the grade school level.)
She bailed out after she was outed.
I missed out. Guess I'll have to go revisit the thread.
No need to be bummed. This new troll is exceedingly unpleasant . He didn't make me laugh. He made me depressed, actually.
I LOL-ed. But then I've known the type in real life.
Nothing is more awesome than a complete fucking idiot who's 100% convinced that he's vastly superior to all of the people around him — no matter how sharp they actually are. It's an education in the workings (or not) of the human mind.
So what I did last year when these two guys robbed me is called a Romney. (who knew)
Think about how much the dog was displeased.
Will this help to bind Romney as a true fecal conservative?
“defecating in terror.”
Are you sure they didn't mean "defecating terrier"?
Every time I defecate, I defecate in terror.
Do you know how many people have died pooping? A lot.
Thats why. That and cave bears.
That's how Elvis left the building.
Scared shitless?
God, Prommie, I'm sorry. Stool softeners and lots of water, I guess.
You, too?
If you defecate, the terrorists win.
Pooping is like a box of chocolates.
Funny, but I'd do this:
Romney rom-nee. verb. To force yourself to be hired for a position or accepted into a group through the expenditure of a large amount of money to impress them with your wealth or through distribution of outright bribes. eg. "he is not the type to fit into that private club, but he is spending a lot of money to romney his way into a membership".
Also to waste a large amount of money in an attempt to gain a position or a relationship. "Poor guy is never going to get laid by that chick, no matter how hard he tries to romney her"
See also: Roofie?
Let's not forget that Romney is also a sheep (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Romney_%28sheep%29).
When Mitt heard he was getting the Santorum treatment he nearly romneyed.
This is what you get for betraying man's best friend, karma is a bitch.
I read this to my dog and he dashed out the dog door like he had a mission.
Only number 3? Looks like we have some googlin' to do.
Git yer clickin fingers ready.
Gingrich spreads himself around enough, he doesn't need Google's help.
The Maine caucus displaced a load of Santorum with a bit of Mitt? Amazing!
This is good news for Santorum: he can't get a hard-on unless he smells shit.
Is it just me, or is there some weird hole in the continuum this year where every Republican candidate is literally worse than every other Republican candidate?
If any of them were elected, I'd totally romney.
It's amazing all the crap you can find on the internets.
Indeed, the current GOP Presidential candidates resemble an M. C. Escher lithograph where the shit flows downhill continuously.
Now, to be fair, that definition came from his dog, who now claims not to be a part of the family and Mittens says that since he ran the car and dog through the car wash, there is no evidence the dog did shit in fear up on the roof.
I'm assuming the terror comes from ruining the Magical Underwear with something that resembles a half-melted King Size Snickers.
Holy Romney!
Alright, that's enough of the scattered logical humor, children.
A dog's entrails are a series of tubes.
I'm not on board until I see how you conjugate that shit.
It was bad enough worrying about getting santorum on the sheets and getting caught out by my wife. But when I heard the door slam announcing that she had returned early, I romneyed all over my boyfriend's dick.
… Dammit! This republicanification of language is a bonerkiller for amateur erotica.
If the NY Pinko Homo Terror Anchor Baby Times weren't so elitist, they'd do the FM zoo thing & call her column Gail Force. Which would make it more tolerable, also.
On these occasions when I experience Romney, I am glad I always carry gloves.
romney should eat romney and die!
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