Your Wonkette was walking through the hallway at CPAC on Friday only to find this pagan shouting dance underway to celebrate Mitt Romney, conservatives’ cherished leader.

This is the first time we have ever seen human beings excited about Mitt Romney in person. It was terrifying. But were all Mitt Romney supporters this rowdy, at CPAC? Read this analysis by some jerk in The Guardian!

Okay, enough self-whoring for now.

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  • Bonghits4Jesus

    I supported Romney's tax breaks for billionaires and all I got was this fucking sign!

  • Didn't think there were that many Mormans in Washington.

    • nounverb911

      Someone has to run all the Marriotts.

    • Here is a photo of their temple in suburban Kensington, MD.

      Clearly they are picking up some rent moniez by letting Cinderella use it as her Capital Castle when she needs to lobby Congress for Disney.

      • Biff

        Takes a serious grift to pay for one of those, kinda like casinos.

      • GhostBuggy

        Holy shit.

      • Geminisunmars

        Too many phallaces (phallasi? phallases? fallacis?).

        Too much dick.

        • Chichikovovich

          And too many fallacies.

      • Note to self: call my household a religion, avoid taxes.

        • Gainsbourg69

          Note to self: Call my weed religious sacrament, get high in peace.

      • orygoon

        I've looked at photos of the interiors of those temple things, and they're as monumentally a fail of taste on the inside as on the outside.

        • I suspect it's the Mormon community that's responsible for all those dreadfully twee pictures of adorable little brats with eyes bigger than their brains.

      • "6 ordinance rooms" – they are stockpiling ammunition there???

      • finallyhappy

        You know the story about the bridge before the "temple"- for many years, it would say "SURRENDER, DOROTHY" and then it would get painted over and appear again.

      • Guppy

        Many years ago, when I first saw that structure looming over the Capitol Beltway, I was convinced it was the castle from Vol-Tron.

        • The first time I saw it I was driving to DC from Pittsburgh. I could see the whatever-they-ares looming over the trees and I almost drove off the road trying to figure out what the FUCK that could be.

      • proudgrampa

        Actually, Utahns (mostly Mormon) build beautiful buildings: churches, medical centers, schools. They're all gorgeous. Problem is, the institutions are run by stupid people with marginal educations and clownish beliefs.

        • Negropolis

          I guess we all have different definitions of "beautiful", because I find them tacky. Maybe, people thought that about the gothic churches of the Middle Ages when they were built, but I know that at this moment in time, Mormon temples usually look tacky as hell to my eyes.

          • They're building a new temple in Gilbert, AZ, and they claim it's going to raise the surrounding real estate values. Beauty 'n 'at. Not MY money.

      • C_R_Eature

        You can see that from the top of the D.C. beltway. It's a genuinely creepy thing to have to drive past.
        Can't tell from the photo, but the Angel Moroni is shockingly gold colored. Jumps right out at ya.

        • Gold?!I thought the Vatican had a copyright on that.

          • C_R_Eature

            Nope. Gold Leaf covered Iconography is solidly in the public domani.
            Well, the Vatican did neglect to copyright Jesus, so I'm not surprised that slipped by too.

    • Beowoof

      Lots of GOP morons, just slightly confused by spelling.

    • C_R_Eature

      I read that as "Morans". I think they bus those in, also.

    • Dashboard_Jesus

      maybe not but there's plenty of Morons!

  • ChernobylSoup

    Mitt is a severely charismatic campaigner.

    • Veritas78

      Finally, here's my chance to rebut Mitt's "severely conservative governor" comment. I was a Masshole vassal during his entire reign, and not only did RomneyCare save my life (true story, this) but he personally delivered hookers & blow to all his subjects throughout the realm every single night. Good times!!

      • Quick, call the papers and tell 'em!

  • ThundercatHo

    But what was the National Park Service estimate of the crowd?

    • Clearly it was a Billion Boobs March!

  • Thought they were going to Rebenga the Newt supporter.
    (oh fuck it teh lolz eludz me…)
    The whole damn thing is Obama's to lose.

    • fuflans

      it sure feels that way from here.

      but here is a long time til november.

  • Monsieur_Grumpe

    This just shows you that if you get a room filled with people with low IQs and ply them with cheap alcohol you get them to do just about anything.

    • nounverb911


    • bagofmice

      Sounds like a party.

    • How every reality show ever made has gotten a green light from a network.

    • IceCreamEmpress

      Shh, shh, my husband might divorce me and I might need to start dating again. DON'T SPOIL MY RACKET.

    • "Dear 'Letters to CPAC'. I never thought this would happen to me…"

  • nounverb911

    Sign holders are people too, my friends.

    • Ansnarkist

      Except for #OWS.

    • flamingpdog

      Needed moar peoples dressed up in Statue of Liberty costumes, like the two folks I saw on the streets today waving signs advertising a tax prep service.

      • C_R_Eature

        Liberty Tax Service! I see them everywhere. I think it's a front for a Cult.

    • Veritas78

      Oh, c'mon. Next you'll claim that Staples employees are people, too.

  • poorgradstudent

    Romney sent them all e-mails saying that Santorum would personally have their Viagra and condoms taken away.

  • nounverb911

    Sponsored by Bain Capital?

  • Radiotherapy


  • Golly, do they ever got soul

  • soeoho

    Wol I'v got a luvely bunch o' coconuts. Wait…they bloomin' ollow!

  • Man0nTheStreet

    Mormon Fertility/Apotheosis Dance? Mittbott better be offering these douchebags a VIP Express-Route to Guaranteed Mormon godhood, 'cause even he ain't got nearly enough money to pay for their genuine enthusiasm!

  • I'm guessing these flash mobbers were provided all-expenses-paid trips from Provo, along with each getting an envelope stuffed with Benjamins, in exchange for performing this frighteningly wonderful display of fanaticism.

  • BlueStateLibel

    But Mittens IS so exciting. When he says, "Corporations are people too, my friend" and how he enjoyed reading the Twilight series, of course the young people can't help but get excited.

    • When he said, "I'm unemployed, too," I know it brought a tear to my eye.

      • When he said "Who let the dogs out? Who? Who?" I knew he had captured my heart. In fact, I saw him take a huge bite out of it. Right before he threw it to the damn dogs.

        • HistoriCat

          And then he picked up the dog and stuffed it back into the carrier on top of the car.

          • Negropolis

            I loved the part where he said he wasn't concerned for the very poor.

  • BarackMyWorld

    I bet he'll claim them all as dependents, and lower his taxes even more.

  • chascates

    Well, he did set up his 5 sons with a trust for $20 million each.

    • Biff

      Out of $250m available, I'd say he's a tight-ass. It costs a fortune to deck out a planet nowadays!

      • No, I believe that's *in addition* to his $250M — the guy's got control of a LOT more than $250M.

    • Biel_ze_Bubba

      No doubt they'll have to worry about pink slips, just like daddy did.

  • C_R_Eature

    Do they all belong to the Screen Actors Guild? Those Union wages really add up.

    • Limeylizzie

      Dayplayer rate is about $800 but I doubt they get residuals.

      • Speaking of not getting residuals, didn't you mention a bit ago that you do some voice work, too? It just caught my attention, as I have a friend who's trying to break into voice acting.

        • Limeylizzie

          Yes, I do voice overs on a regular basis, does your friend live in one of the major markets, NYC, LA or Chicago? First thing he needs to do is take a few classes and then make a demo.,and start sending it out to agents.

      • C_R_Eature

        Always ask the experts. Thanks Liz!

  • bumfug

    This whole convention looks like a big deal til you realize that every single person who gives a shit about CPAC was at CPAC.

    • SolitaireRose

      Well, that and TV news which used it as an excuse to give human piles of feces Ralph Reed, Tony Perkins and Grover Norquist more time than usual since they were in town.

  • I'm so very beige and I just can't hide it
    I'm about to mildly cheer and I think I'm impartial to it
    I'm so very beige and I just can't hide it

    • DrOzarkZ.Hellbender

      ♪ ♫ ♬ I'm…too honky for my shirt
      too honky for my shirt
      So honky it hurts!

      I'm a middle-manager, you know what I mean
      and I do my PowerPoint in the meetings…in the meetings
      Yeah I rock my PowerPoint in the meetings… ♪ ♫ ♬

    • If I die, tell my wife I said "Hello!"

  • SolitaireRose


  • I gave them each a dollar.

  • C_R_Eature

    Indian Agent: "I am here, representing the United States Government and I'm really interested in helping out everyone on the Reservation!"

    Indians: Hoya! Hoya!

    Indian Agent: "The United States Government has carefully chosen this Reservation as the perfect place for your people to prosper!"

    Indians: Hoya! Hoya!

    Indian Agent: "I will work day and night to help you people prosper and have better lives and opportunities!"

    Indians: Hoya! Hoya!

    Indian Agent, walking away says to the Village Indian Interpreter: "Say, that went very well! I think that I really excited them!"

    Indian Interpreter: "Yes, you did excite them. Careful not to step in the Hoya."

    • What language is "Hoya"?

      • C_R_Eature

        Uhhhhh…the language of Comedy?

    • jqheywood

      Hoya Saxa!

      • C_R_Eature

        So that's where it came from!
        Georgetown is Weird.

  • Blueb4sunrise

    Sounds like they were chanting
    Ram me
    Ram me
    Ram me

    • Geminisunmars

      What I heard was:
      Raw Meat
      Raw Meat
      Raw Meat

      This is the Rorschach age.

      • Gunner Asch


    • finallyhappy

      Were you at the Kinsey Sicks show at Theater J ????? Because that is one of their jokes(RIm me ,Ram me, Rim me, Ram me)

      • Blueb4sunrise

        Not that I recall.

    • flamingpdog

      They were practioners of Chicago politics shouting "Ramn knee, Rahm knee!"

      • MilwaukeeKent

        I was hearing "Wrong knee! Wrong knee!" . I don't know why they'd be shouting that, but I don't understand these people at all.

    • DrOzarkZ.Hellbender

      Perhaps they just have broken hearts?

      (Don't fool yourself, Mitt…it's winkin' at you….)

      • They're certainly assholes.

      • C_R_Eature

        These Zapptistas…they're Everywhere. Like Pods.

    • They're young Republicans. Of course they were.

    • Beowoof

      Considering Mitt's tax plan they are really begging for it.

  • Needs moar "Run Ronnie Run" appeal. To go with these "Let Go (of) Mitt" chants.

    Run, Romney run… faster, and further away plz.

    • Radiotherapy

      The comedy of the clown car race is as farcical and inexplicable as The Sarah Silverman Show . And the ginger neighbors are funny as hell.

    • BarackMyWorld

      Y'all are brutalizing me.

  • sharethegrief

    Excitement is contagious. These people had just left an Osmond concert.

  • pinkocommi

    Rmoney! Rmoney! Rmoney!

    Damn typos.

  • SayItWithWookies

    And after this, kids, we're going to take a tour of the box factory!

  • Self-whore away, Jim – if you started writing regularly for the Guardian I might have a fighting chance to actually find your posts (as opposed to the searching through the morass that is Gawker, ahem).

  • As The Onion reported –

    "As Romneymania has grown, the Republican candidate has crossed over from political figure to cultural phenomenon. Countless reverent portraits of Romney have appeared in storefront windows and on building facades throughout the country, often accompanied by one of the candidate's signature inspirational phrases, like "Let Detroit go bankrupt" or "Corporations are people, my friend."

    Internet sources confirmed "Mitt" has become the top search term of 2012, while the blogosphere and social media sites have been dominated by discussions of the star candidate's endearing personality quirks, gossip about the relationship statuses of his five sons, and continual chatter over which designers his wife, Ann, wears.

    "Mitt's firm belief in unlimited corporate campaign donations is what first got me really excited," said 48-year-old pipe fitter David Flores, adding that another reason he joined "Romney Nation" was because he found it "pretty cool" that Romney pays a lower income tax rate than he does. "Money is speech—that's what the First Amendment is all about. Finally, there's a candidate who speaks directly to me."

    As primary season continues, Americans from all walks of life tune in loyally to Romney's stump speeches, with those in attendance so overwhelmed by the candidate's rousing oratory skills that many pass out from the excitement.

    While surveys show Romneymania has swept across almost every demographic, Romney's appeal among the nation's youth, in particular, is nearly unanimous. Many young Americans acknowledged they had felt disillusioned by politics until hearing Romney's explanation of how his coordination of corporate funding for the 2002 Salt Lake City Winter Olympics renders him uniquely qualified to be president, an assertion they said immediately revived their faith in American democracy.

    "Simply put, when Mitt Romney speaks, he inspires people to be better," said political scientist Deborah Klein of Brown University, adding that given his effusive charisma, people are likely to follow the Republican candidate anywhere. "Anytime he meets factory workers on the campaign trail or stands at the podium in a debate, his reputation as a highly relatable man of the people is indisputable."

  • SNL opened with a Rmoney skit. Only problem was, Jason Sudeikis has a hundred times more charisma than Mitt so it detracts from an otherwise believable impersonation.

    By the way, Breitbart put this skit on his site to show his followers how HORRIBLE it was.

    • C_R_Eature

      Well, I hope Mister Free Market paid the appropriate fees to the Producers rather than Mooch off the labor of other, brighter Individuals and Loot their Ideas.

    • finallyhappy

      Loved the dog!

  • ProgressiveInga

    I am severely ambivalent about the republican primary candidate field:
    I fluctuate between seething happiness and joyful disgust.

  • comrad_darkness

    These must be the same people who as children jumped around their living room in a sugar fit when Mr. Roger's Neighborhood came on the tv.

    • Barrelhse

      Correct as usual, King Friday.

    • flamingpdog

      These must be the same people who as adults jump around their living room in a sugar fit when Mr. Roger's Neighborhood reruns come on the tv.

      • These must be the same people who as adults jump around their living room in a sugar screaming shit-fit when Mr. Roger's Neighborhood reruns come on the tv.

        FIFY, NNTT

        • Biel_ze_Bubba

          These must be the same people who as adults jump around their living room in a screaming shit-fit when Mr. Roger's Neighborhood reruns President Barack Hussein Obama comes on the tv.

          Fixed, better.

          • ShaveTheWhales

            These must be the same people who as adults jump around their living room in a screaming shit-fit when Mr. Roger's Neighborhood reruns President Barack Hussein Obama comes on the tv is near.

          • You don't see ME complainin'!

  • Harry_S_Truman

    Well, I don't know how much they were paid, but I know Gingrich voted for him in order to pay off his Tiffany's bill.

  • littlebigdaddy

    The crowd literally numbered into the dozens.

    • Dashboard Buddha

      they certainly are numbed.

    • DrOzarkZ.Hellbender

      Ther emotions ran the gamut from a to b.

      • Isn't that a Dorothy Parker quote? She's on my (re-)reading list this year.

  • OT: Chris Hayes' panel didn't need that plate of pastries on the table on Saturday. They had a Jesuit from Notre Dame and Miss NOM Gallager for breakfast.

    Great job by Michaela Angela Davis on presenting the economic issues related to an abortion ban. The priest's reply was along the lines of, "Well, we certainly wouldn't want more women in poverty." But like a good Republican, he had zero ideas about how he would prevent that.

    • BarackMyWorld

      I don't get Catholic Republicans who use their religion as a justification to attack liberals. Protestant I can almost understand because it's pretty easy to draw a straight line from Calvinism to Social Darwinism, but not these guys.

      I don't know about Herr Uber Pope, but wasn't John Paul II pretty much a socialist on economic issues?

      • Chichikovovich

        When this sort of this is raised (also the Papal opposition to capitol punishment, or the opposition to the war in Iraq, etc.) I have the impression that the prepared response (because you know they've heard this before) is some variation on "well, that's the Pope's personal opinion, but it's not put forward as a matter of doctrine the way the opposition to birth control is."

        And I must admit, they have a point – the Church has gotten downright giddy about threatening Democratic Catholic politicians with denial of communion over contraception and gay marriage, but I've never once heard of such a threat being issued over support for a certain well-known war of choice that was not even close to being a "just war" (if I understand Catholic doctrine correctly, and I may be wrong about this specific point of Canon law), that cost hundreds of thousands of lives (and many of the dead were pregnant women – even the death of "innocent unborn children" wasn't enough to stir them to interest), left many children orphans and amputees, generated untold refugees, etc.

        It's pretty evident where the real priorities lie, and what is just a matter of putting things out there just to have them on the record, and then forgetting them.

        • C_R_Eature

          As a follower of the Elder Gods I can say Ph’nglui mglw’nafh Cthulhu R’lyeh wgah’nagl fhtagn!

      • Gainsbourg69

        As a catholic I can safely say that we're just as full of shit as the protestants.

        • paris biltong

          As nominally protestant, I agree. No one can claim to have a monopoly on inconsistency.

    • Limeylizzie

      Chris Hayes is one of those men who, at first glance, seems so nerdy and odd , but then you realise he is really, really smart and funny so you fuck his brains out .

      • ThundercatHo

        Really, really smart and funny are the two most fuckable characteristics.

      • I know I find him wildly attractive and I'm old enough to be his mother. I swoon when he gets an idea and those eyes roll up toward his brain. I also adore him when he lets his panel rip a guest to shreds and then oh-so-sincerely thanks them for their input and invites them back for more "discussion." Sexy and good manners, too.

      • He's Rachel in…a sports jacket with buttons the other way around!

    • DrOzarkZ.Hellbender

      Here's a picture of the world the Pro Life movement would like us to have, once legal abortions are banned:

      Anatomy of an unsafe abortion

    • Negropolis

      Chris Hayes' panel didn't need that plate of pastries on the table on Saturday. They had a Jesuit from Notre Dame and Miss NOM Gallager for breakfast.

      Oh, that was really great, Jukes.

    • FakaktaSouth

      I noticed that big ol plate of carbs too and thought, jeez, I would have that shit all over my face after a commercial break. I know this cause I'm an emotional eater sometimes. Sometimes like when I want to smack a self righteous man in a dress who has sworn celibacy to a church that moves molesters from town to town while judging my ability to regulate my hormones as morally wrong and UNJUST. With a smirk. Pow. Right in the (non) kisser.

  • Numbat_Dundee

    Whatever he paid them, they will soon be sacked and a bunch of lowly paid Chinese in Guandong province will do the cheering at a fraction of the price – no doubt to the bemusement of their neighbours.

    • IceCreamEmpress


  • Is that the waiting area for the short bus?

  • BlueStateLibel

    Even the trolls from this morning can't be bothered to defend Mittens here – what a testament to the passion he inspires.

    • BarackMyWorld

      Which is counter-intuitive to me, by virtue of his being able to walk and chew gum at the same time, Mittens just seems like the more defensible of the two.

      • One would think the inherent racism in the Mormon faith would be enough to get some Paultard crossover. That would give him a solid 1-2% bump in the polls.

        • Man0nTheStreet

          I thought Mormon redneck-white-separatist types of Rural (everywhere 'cept Vegas) Nevada covered that demo, but weren't numerous enough to give Paul the win in the Nevada last week.

      • BlueStateLibel

        Agreed, much as I don't like him, he is the only seemingly sane one in the GOP field. I wouldn't expect him to start WW III or do something nuts. That obviously explains his lack of appeal to the GOP base.

        • Listen, this fucker srsly believes that when he dies, he will turn into a god and have his own planet and a fuckton of fertile young wives who will be permapreggers to help him populate it. You think he's SANE?

          Oh. You said seemingly. Never mind.

          • Biel_ze_Bubba

            So long as he's not in a rush to get there. Some of these Xtards think it's their job to hurry the end times along.

          • Good point. They're all so fricking cray-cray, it's hard to tell whose worst, at times.

          • Fare la Volpe

            Are the things Rick Santorum believes any less crazy?

          • Haha. No. Parthenogenesis has yet to be shown in higher mammals.

        • Negropolis

          I go between thinking that, and then remembering that he's yet another son-of-Republican governor/presidential candidate, poor-little-rich-boy with major daddy issues. And, we all know how theat worked out the last time. What's different is that with Dubya was actually seen as a non-interventionist when he came into office (I know, right?), and Mitt is practically calling for war with Iran. I've learned to believe them when they say they want war…and believe it even when they say they don't, because even if they don't, personally, their corporate overlords do…always.

    • C_R_Eature

      Oh, no they're Palin Trolls. Didn't expect to see them up here.

      • BarackMyWorld

        That explains why the one dude kept accusing Obama of being a Wall Street puppet, while also singing the praises of Republicans. Romney at least has the sense to switch positions before totally contradicting himself later on.

        • C_R_Eature

          Yeah, they're not very subtle or nuanced and they just can't help themselves.

        • That IS what I'm-not-a-witch liked best about him, wasn't it?

      • Dudleydidwrong

        I think you're right. They are probably poor, poor creatures who, fearing Romney as the probable nominee, decided to mount a full-scale, half-wit defense of "anybody else" and were so enlivened by Snowbilly's shrill scream that they rose to her cause. They're back in their coffins by now, tired from their efforts.

        • C_R_Eature

          Well they're definitely Palinistas – I don't see any of them in this thread. I just visited the previous Palin Post and one of them is still blundering around like a stupider, more offensive Triumph the Insult Comic Dog.

          He (she, they, it) was posting Rude and Unfunny replies to all my posts until I hit him with a huge "Miss Sweetie Poo" reply (Please Stop, I'm Bored. Please stop, I'm Bored, Please Stop, I'm Bored., repeat as necessary.)

          That shut it down.

          • Fare la Volpe

            I'm still getting e-mail updates from him about what a whore I am.

            I may be a whore, but at least I'm not a Republican.

          • BaldarTFlagass

            How do these people get your email address? I want to make sure I don't do whatever it was…

          • Fare la Volpe

            No no no. Intense Debate sends me an automated e-mail whenever someone replies to my comments on Intense Debate. These fuckers couldn't get my e-mail even if they did have two brain cells to rub together.

          • Biel_ze_Bubba

            I had to turn that "feature" off, after some Xtard got seriously bent out of shape just because I snarked his Jeebus.

            But not before I posted his email address in numerous dark corners of the web, for the spambots to feast upon.

          • That's not entirely unflattering, when you consider that a whore is in business, and in business, unlike the giving-it-away-for-free practiced by yon hapless lout, you only stay in so long as there's demand for your product.

          • C_R_Eature

            He's still Raging the next morning?
            As in: "barge into someone else's Virtual Living Room, insult them about their politics all day long, go to bed pissed off, wake up angry and resume sending insulting messages?
            Like that?
            Right, and we're the fucked-up ones.

    • Biel_ze_Bubba

      Major Brucie was up 'till 4 AM spewing his bile. Probably won't wake up until noon — the only way he can possibly hold onto his job is that his boss is a right-wing nutbag as well.

  • DahBoner

    Good Lord, these people are so stiff, I thought this was a Cialis commercial….

    • Radiotherapy

      Fade to two inexplicable bath tubs on the White House lawn.

  • Ducksworthy

    Mormon Pod People.

    • I'm reading, or "exmo," as its users call it. Man, are they fucking Pod People. No dissent EVAH in their crazy cult. Buncha fuckin' nutbags, srsly.

  • bagofmice

    Watching a Brooks Brothers riot while listening to the inception soundtrack is really creepy.

  • paris biltong

    Apparently Santorum thinks the CPAC vote was fixed. I'm too bored to read beyond the headline. These people are such losers, I can't see how the outcome of polls between their scattered supporters can matter much.

  • BZ1

    Romneymania? Romneymania? who believes that??

    • C_R_Eature

      I believe it. The Mania is in Romney's head, though.

    • Uh, RMONEY?

  • Joshua Norton

    A liberal, a moderate, and a conservative walk into a bar. The bartender says "Hi, Mitt!".

    • IceCreamEmpress

      That's libelous!

      Mittens would never be in a bar.

      Remember when he gaybashed the Vietnam vet in the New Hampshire diner by accident? Good times, good times.

    • NYNYNYjr

      A classic. First used as "A Democratic-Republican, a Federalist and an Anti-Masonite walk into an inn. The innkeeper says "Good-day Mr. Calhoun!"

    • MissNancyPriss

      do mormons go to bars now?

      • HistoriCat

        Only the ones they own.

  • elburritodeluxe

    Thank you everyone… 10010 001001 10010100 0101 0100 1011 00100.

  • elburritodeluxe


  • Lionel[redacted]Esq

    I'm pretty sure these are all people who lost $10,000 bets to Romney.

  • Lionel[redacted]Esq

    You know who else had rowdy supporters carrying around signs?

    • The Koch Brothers? Er, I mean the bussed in "spontaneous tea-party protesters"?

    • tcaalaw

      All of 'em, Katie?

    • Radiotherapy

      Whitney Houston?

      • Veritas78

        That's either too soon or too late.

    • C_R_Eature

      Glen Beck?

      Oh, no..that was driving in circles in Hoverrounds.

    • BarackMyWorld

      Salt-N-Pepa in their "Shake Your Thang" video?

    • That furniture store near me that no one goes to?

    • Dick Armey?

    • flamingpdog

      Obama (2008 version)?

    • AlterNewt

      I think I know this one!

      George Wallace?

      • BarackMyWorld

        I haven't seen him since his cameo in "Funny People."

        • Beowoof

          Got a full time Vegas gig these days. Gets to live in the desert and make a fortune.

        • AlterNewt

          I should have gone with..

          "George Lincoln Rockwell?"

          • flamingpdog

            Yeah, only one of him. Nice avatar (fap).

          • BarackMyWorld

            I should have gone with..
            "George Lincoln Rockwell?"

            Not as funny. Did you see "George Lincoln Rockwell at the Apollo"? Terrible.

    • elburritodeluxe

      My mom!

    • Biel_ze_Bubba

    • Barrelhse

      Everyone Loves Ramen.

  • Toomush_Infer

    Yeah, I'd bet 10 grand…. but really, I'm pretty sure they were shouting: "Ronnie! Ronnie!"…it's a zombie thang….

  • Barb

    Mitt smells like a freshly baked oatmeal cookie. Newt smells like you boiled 400 eggs in a prostitute's old bathwater.

    • Radiotherapy

      Feeling progressively better today? Eating and pooping OK? (That is an important question after abdominal surgery.)
      Oh yeah, obligatory snark, we all know what Santorum smells like.

      • Barb

        Thank you for caring about the status of my bowel. I'm not in my "happy zone" eating or making a woobie. The painkillers don't seem to be working anymore and I am quite cranky.

        • AlterNewt

          Sorry to hear that, Barb. If it makes you fell any better, your "400 eggs in a prostitute's old bathwater" thing was repulsive AND hilarious.

    • Negropolis

      This simply can't be; I actually like freshly baked oatmeal raisin cookies. :(

      Oatmeal Cookie libel!

    • James Michael Curley

      Glad to see you back. Take care of yourself.

      • Barb

        Thanks James! Always a pleasure to see you.

        • James Michael Curley

          I feel the same way when I manage to assume a vertical position and I show up in the mirror.

    • sunmusing

      Thank goodness the docs didn't remove yer snark. As an intertube lurker, I have watched from afar, you and the good Wonkettes plying the waters of snark. That said….my ol' lady had the same type of surgery, and it was a blessing and a curse. The blessing was…. no more "female" loss of "fluids", or the monthly grumpyness that usually preceded the event and continued until I would open my Tiffiny's account (Tiffiny's Bar and Grill). The Down side is the grumpyness became a permanent virtue, or until we went to Tiffiny's. May you mend soon, and with less grumpyness towards Mr. Barb, and to Snark more, as we have a fucked up country to fix. Lots o' Platonic Love to You on Valentines Day.

  • scarface99

    wait til the republican convention and they turn on the cheer and applause sign when rmoney says he s gonna take back amerika from the nigger!

  • Fairfax County Young Republicans Club????

    Romney Youth????

    • Chichikovovich


    • Dudleydidwrong

      There's a difference?

    • C_R_Eature


      • Mittster's Whiteshirts. (bussed in from BYU, no doubt.)

        • C_R_Eature

          Mittsvolk Weiße Hemden Kommando Spezialkräfte, then.

          • If you say so, CRE.

          • C_R_Eature

            Mitt Folk White shirt Special Operations Commandos.

            I freely admit I had to grab Online Translator for that. My German has degraded over the years, I'm afraid.

          • I hate to admit how much I like the sentence, "My German has degraded over the years […]."

          • C_R_Eature

            Feel free to appropriate it and do what you will.

          • It is just like riding a bike.

            While invading Poland.

          • Negropolis

            I really shouldn't have laughed at that. lol

          • C_R_Eature

            *Ding!* We were looking for the Sudetenland, but the judges will accept this!

      • Negropolis

        Sounds like an awful bar drink.

        • C_R_Eature

          It's actually not bad, with a twist. And a blow to the head.

  • Think about this… Romney's job at the Olympics makes him an INTERNATIONAL COMMUNITY organizer….

    Even worse than Nobama!

  • flamingpdog

    Nice article in The Guardian, Jim Newell, but the Reuters photographer needz more practice in taking upskirt pics.

    • Crank_Tango

      Sweet jeebus you should have warned us–I thought it was a Newell upskirt, not the tundra down unda.

  • ttommyunger

    Who knew hedge fund managers could be so enthusiastic?

    • Beowoof

      Almost looks like bonus day.

  • flamingpdog

    "Let's omit, let's omit, let's omit!"

    I didn't hear anything wrong with that message.

    • C_R_Eature

      You forgot to add the "V" 's.

  • Guppy

    Does this count towards their missionary quota?

    • C_R_Eature

      Only if they stay in the Missionary Position.

      • For *these* missionaries, that would be directly below a heavy anvil.

        • C_R_Eature

          Or a 16 Ton Weight?

          Hi, MB! we had/have a serious Troll Infestation down in the Palin thread today. One of 'em is a bona fide genuwine nutjob and best stayed far away from, FYI:
          Meet Bruce Majors.
          I actually had to "Miss Sweetie Poo" post him to get him to fuck off.

          • I'm over there right now LMFAO at the treatment he got. What an eejit!

          • C_R_Eature

            Eejit is just Spot On. Really , this sad bastard must get his ass kicked a lot of the time. Maybe he looks forward to it.

            Can you imagine going up against The Wonkerrati? I can only imagine the Fresh Hell these folks could unleash if they had to.

          • As a rule, most of them run away after a relatively short time, but then again, as a rule, they're also brighter than this eejit. I'm sure he's a young sprog. Back in the newsgroup days people were constantly getting into flamewars,and this sad fool would have been fried the first time he dipped his toe into the fray.

          • C_R_Eature

            Well, he was tolchocked in the yarbles all horrorshow-like the whole day. For his own sake I hope he takes the hint & buggers off, else he'll likely be shredded again, repeating as necessary. You folk don't feck around, aye?

          • Not with this sad lot. Like as not, he's one of those self-hating queers who gets off on fantasizing being treated like shit by Tom of Finland type straight guys. We should tape his eyes open and make him watch that film on an endless loop.

          • C_R_Eature

            He'd probably pay good money for that.

        • flamingpdog

          NOOOOO, don't do it, MB. I still feelz guilty about not warnin' you about the Knickers video. You don't want to read the vile bile spewed by Bruce Majors. This clown is one sick fuck!

          Clown needs to share a room with John Hinckley.

          • Dood, I cut my teeth on the newsgroups and alt.tasteless and alt.flame.flame.flame, dood. Bruce Majors is not very bright, swears like a beginner (no, you haven't heard me yet when I really get going), and has no control over his obvious anger about not getting laid occasionally. Y'all reduced him to tears over in the other thread.

            The Knickers video was an assault on my eardrums that I will NEVAH forgive, dood. A whole different level of blame.

          • flamingpdog

            I tell myself that there may be one upside to Majors' (and bozos like him) verbal flamethrowing on the internet. It may be the one thing that keeps the rage from building up to a point where he hits the street with an Uzi and takes out innocent civilians (probably most of them blahs).

          • I hate to be the one to break this to you, but this guy has very obvious and major anger issues. Sooner or later, you *will* pick up a paper and his face and name will be plastered all over a page, and it will involve some anger-control issue where he just fucking lost it and ragegasmed all over the innocent public. I'm surprised he actually has a job. I'll bet nobody in his office likes working with him, and that he has no social life at all to speak of. Apparently, judging from InnerNetz rumours, he already has a problem with alcohol. Walking bomb, dood.

          • Negropolis

            I didn't want to say it, but I was thinking the same thing. This guy is just waiting to pop. It's painfully clear that apart from his anger issues, he has some kind of either mental illness or behavioral problem.

          • Yeah, anybody who's ever worked around the mentally ill or people who, you know, have to be escorted off campus by armed security for losing it once too often can see red flags all OVER this dood.

          • And they always want to be places where they KNOW they're not wanted. They get some kind of perverse pleasure from it.

          • Well, of course. His inner life is horrendous. In his head, he is refighting every battle he ever lost with all the people who beat and bullied him for years, except this time, HE WINS! He's totally engaged in this internal conversation, which is why he cannot interact with anyone here. And of course he brings his demons to the place where all the Cool Kidz who ignored him hang out. He'll show them! He'll MAKE them see that he's right, and he always was, all along, and NOW they'll know, the SCUM!

            While we stand around and watch him implode, leaving a godawful mess and a stench. He's now following individual posters around, screeching, "But what about MEEE? Why won't you listen to MEEE?" Pitiful.

          • Negropolis

            swears like a beginner

            I noticed that right off the bat. Simply stringing together four consecutive cuss words does not a swear make. 'Tis is art, one I'm a beginner at, myself, but I do recognize that I am one.

          • I had an uncle, he's dead now, poor man, who could swear fluently for 20 minutes or more at a time, quietly, and without ever repeating the same curse twice. Truly, it was a fine art. The air around him would turn a spectacular shade of blue. And he hardly ever raised his voice, either. Some of his curses still make me laugh out loud, 40 years later.

  • Negropolis

    There is not a king's ransom large enough to get me to even pretend to like this false human being-ish creature.

  • flamingpdog

    OT, but she speaks!

    • Dudleydidwrong

      WTF is that thing on her head? It looks like a helmet from a high school production of The Ring Cycle. Stop it about 0:16–that's all I could take.

      Was this at a contest to see who could one-up The Donald?

      • flamingpdog

        I watched the hole thing. I think she was trying out for the part of Mitten's second wife. Definitely a match with his charisma and hers.

      • BarackMyWorld

        Her hair is definitely…wow.

        And I thought Newton looked like a Fischer-Price person? Damn.

        • Radiotherapy

          Fucking *crickets*

          But, srsly, I want to shoot her in her hair. You see, it's a secret Kevlar® hair spray that the military-industrial-socialist complex has been working on since WWII. Watch out for the ricochet.

    • sharethegrief

      I liked the overtly sexual part where she talks about Newt getting in and out of sand traps.

      • Radiotherapy

        Obvsly, a reference to her sand box of a vajayjay. Again, imagine if the drapes match the carpet. Or better yet, the dental molding matching the sand trap.

      • Negropolis

        I was honestly trying to figure out if she is just that oblivious to what was actually being implied, or if she was actually trying to be vulgar, or maybe if even she was referring to his former wives. I'm guessing the first one, and that the joke is on her…and so apparently is Newt.

        Mrs. Mars Attacks! FTW.

    • fuflans

      seriously. what is in that hair? a cyborg?

    • ElPinche

      I see they temporarily equipped the NewtWife(tm) Model 2000 with a speech module. That'll be disabled shortly.

  • XOhioan

    They're shouting "RONNIE! RONNIE!" because some joker told them it was the Second Coming of Regan ™

  • Negropolis

    OT: Anyone watching the Grammy's, right now? You thought the bishops were pissed last week. lol

    • BarackMyWorld

      Oh, gawd…What happened?

      • Nicki Minaj. Featuring a priest in holy day garb, groveling masochists in nude bodysuits, simulated sex, Nicki offering herself up on an alter, about a hundred really bad wigs, fire raging in the background (hell, I guess), and enough sequins to decorate a Busby Berkeley movie.

        Sample lyrics:
        I-I-I-I hear them mumblin’, I hear the cacklin’
        I got ‘em scared, shook, panickin’
        Overseas, church, Vatican
        You at a standstill, mannequin
        You wanna sleep on me? Overnight?
        I’m the motherfuckin’ boss, overwrite
        And when I pull up, vroom, motorbike

        My old ma said, "Oh, my, they spent more money on this than on Madonna's Super Bowl show." Best part: Gaga had to watch from the audience.

        And everyone's mad at Bruce, who sang his We Take Care of Our Own song, because it wasn't respectful to Whitney Houston — go figure.

        • Negropolis

          I almost audibly gasped when I saw the simulated sex all over the iconography, not because I'm some prude, but because I was imagining the heads exploding of the wingnuts. This was like Madonna + Gaga to the tenth power in its cultural insensitivity. lol

          I knew there was going to be trouble when she came dressed up as a cardinal with a old, white dude dressed up like the Pope as her escort.

          • I'm still LOLing at that girl. Cheeky!

          • And, you know, I haven't heard a peep about it today.Maybe they're still trying to figure out the egg Gaga hatched out of last year.

        • HistoriCat

          Didn't Madonna do that 23 or 24 years ago?

          • I thought it was Sinead.

          • Biel_ze_Bubba

            Marilyn Manson did it first. And best.

            (Crank it to 11, people.)

            Oh yeah, and this.

    • flamingpdog

      Did they let Sinead O'Connor up on stage?

    • C_R_Eature

      Was there a Condom Dress involved?

    • fuflans

      prada shoes are fucking tight.

      everyone knows this.

  • Where's pepper-spray cop when you need him?

  • mavenmaven

    This wasn't a political demonstration, rather it was a performance of a new piece by Steve Reich.

    • Isn't he the third?

    • That's a real insult to Reich. Boring-ass Philip Glass would have been more appropriate.

  • OT – George Will is a peacenik !!!

    Following last week's OMG moment with Bill O, that prince of otiose rhetoric George Will sayz:
    "GOP critics say Obama's proposed defense cuts will limit America's ability to engage in troop-intensive nation-building. Most Americans probably say: Good."

    Moar here.

    • paris biltong

      I'm not sure that Obama should consider it a compliment that Will agrees with him.

    • Man0nTheStreet

      AH HA!!1! So it finally revealed – George Will is a Socialist Fascist Marxist Muslim Uppity Terrorist from Kenya who's IN THE TANK for Obummer!!1!

    • Biel_ze_Bubba

      "troop-intensive nation-building"

      Where to begin on that phrase…

  • OT, but there's no new post up, and I just wanted to share with all of you the vile hatred being spewed on the Fox News comment thread, over Whitney Houston's passing.

    But remember: the worst sort of racism would actually be to accuse Fox News readers/watchers of being racists, because of the literal things they put in writing on Fox News's site.

    Actually, I'm pretty sure they're not all trying to say racial epithets in a fashion that makes it past auto-moderation: they're just using obscure words for pants.

    • ThundercatHo

      It is rather shocking and vile, isn't it. When Etta James died one of the first comments on MSN was a man calling her a "she-boon". There can be no dialogue with people like this.

      • The worst thing I've ever experienced was seeing the Fox News comments in response a news item on the murders of the fiance and infant child of a former co-worker of mine, both of Latino descent.

        This stuff is incredibly vile even in the abstract, but seeing someone take my friend and colleague's tragedy, and spew hatred under the veneer of being "political", or, alternately, dispensing with the pretense entirely and vomiting up the most bilious racism imaginable… well, it really did make me fell physical ill, and caused my heart to literally hurt.

        • ThundercatHo

          I am so sorry that you were exposed to that kind of filth when you were grieving for your friend. Thought we would be rid of those kinds of attitudes by now but some people perpetuate the hatred by teaching it to their children which also is inexplicable. Baconzgood had a great link to a psychology research article showing the relationship between bigotry and lower cognitive abilities.

        • My dear friend! (Hugs Joe)

          What a horrendous experience. I hope your co-worker is OK, despite his tragedies, poor wo/man. And I hope that you have recovered from the experience. Although in all truth, each such encounter leaves a scar.

          I wonder if these atavistic relics will always be with us? What a terrible fate, if they were!

    • BaldarTFlagass

      The fact that my US Air Force server firewalls access to the link you posted, but doesn't firewall Wonkette, says a lot to me. But like a Palin speech, I don't understand what it is that it's saying to me.

      • Well, the link just goes to LGF. I wouldn't dare link directly to the Fox News post in question, though I'm sure it's find-able via the googles. As mentioned above, I've learned my lesson about looking directly at that neutron star of hate.

    • paris biltong

      Illustrative of the risks of the Internet. Fox is acting irresponsibly by letting such comments appear and can't hide behind the fact that commenters are so cunningly putting a "q" in place of a "g". It is aiding and abetting racism.

      • ThundercatHo

        Speaking of blocking comments…. I'm not for censorship but I really hope Intense Debate has blocked the troll "Bruce Major". That guy was not only racist and disgusting but truly sick-minded and scary.

        • paris biltong

           <DIV>I don't think of it as censorship, which can only be carried out by a third party. If I have a blog that allows people to comment, I'm certainly entitled – I have the responsibility, in fact, -to screen those comments so that my blog does not become a vehicle for spewing hatred, scatology, etc.</DIV> <DIV style=”FONT: 10pt arial”>

        • The decision is not up to IntenseDebate, who only make the commenting software. The decision is up to Ken and, I suppose, Jim, who occasionally wields the banhammer.

          I don't care for censorship of any sort, but I do recognize the need to protect people from wading in constant filth, which can injure a community of commenters. At one time, some sites responded by hiding any comments that got voted down. Those who wanted to could still read the comments, but would have to click the hidden comments to do so, an affirmative act as opposed to letting everyone be submerged in the constant vileness. That, to me, would be the more acceptable solution. However, I don't know enough about the capabilities of this software package to make that decision.

          As for "Bruce Major," he's probably mentally ill, and on the dangerous end of the spectrum. Problem is, he has not said or done anything actionable yet. If he were threatening someone and thereby breaking the law, there might be an excuse for reporting him, but so far he has not, AFAICT, egregiously violated the TOS. On what grounds would you want him blocked? Other than the fact that he's a boring, sad, stupid eejit who contributes nothing to the conversation, of course.

          • I think low-karma-invisibility is probably not for the best, as it's frankly a matter of still-recent memory that we had a handful of trolls and harassers that have gamed that element of the system in an effort to further harrass. That, frankly, does rise to the level of a TOS violation, but InteseDebate is (understandably, for the reasons you bring up!) slow to act on such matters, preferring to defer to site administrators, even when it's clear that individuals are abusing the system to harrass good-faith users.

          • I concede your well-made point, my friend. For the wellbeing of all, I am willing to put aside my objections, especially since I was not here to witness the harrassment, and therefore have (both virtually and literally, unfortunately) not a leg to stand on.

          • Multiple accounts are a violation of the Terms of Service.

          • I don't have access to that information, and that's not enough to warrant action. However, it would appear that the site admin does, and agrees with you, since the erstwhile troll is gone.

          • This stupidity has happened with this person previously. So it is not like I have any secret knowledge or position beyond seeing this situation previously.

    • proudgrampa

      That was an amazing collection, huh? It just makes me ashamed to be on the same planet as these cretins.

      Thundercat is right: there is no dialogue with people like this.

      • Agreed, there really is no dialogue with these people. But, at the same time, this sort of vicious, eliminationist, virulently racist sentiment is starting to look less and less fringe, and more and more like "mainstream" Conservatism. I think that Balloon Juice, that ex-right-wing site that's not LGF, has really hit the nail on the head with a few posts lately, in that vein.

        The Republican party is a fringe ideology of hate, dressed up in the trappings of a mainstream party. Whenever we pretend otherwise at this point, we just empower and embolden them.

        • I never thought of Balloon Juice as "rightwing," at least not in the same sense/league as the Erick Ericksons and K-Los of this world. It used to be more right-leaning, for sure, but it always was fairly rational, and is becoming more so.

          But I do believe that the Republican Party has turned into the fringiest of the fringe, and we are witnessing its — what was that term Dick Cheney used? — last throes, if you will.

          • Really? I was led to believe that BJ was very much the -albeit milder- sibling of LGF, insofar as they were super-vocal supporters much of the Iraq war stuff, and pretty viciously attacked the DFH's who opposed it even before Day 1, and had similarly "found religion", so to speak, in the mid aught's when it was clear that the case for war was a fraud and had generally allowed a whole bunch of attendent nastiness like the secret torture camps.

            Definitely not lumping them in the same category of thing as Redstate or Jonah Goldberg's comedy weblog, but I do remember reading LGF back in its right-wing heyday, and I'd have definitely said that that qualified, all the same.

          • I believe John (isn't that the name of the guy who runs that blog?) used to be much more pro-right wing in his early days, but he always maintained a relatively high level of discourse, IIRC. At least you *could* spend time on his blog and argue intelligently with him or his commenters. LGF, in its early days, was utterly vile until Charles had his ComeToJeebus moment. As for RedState and the K-Los and Jonah Loadpants of this world, if you didn't have waders, it wasn't even worth going in there. The atmosphere was fetid, and discussions were limited to "FUck YoU dirrrrrTy mothafuckin' filthy animal hippie negro persons, you're the REAL rasits and natzee Fashits." One can only read those things for two minutes before the brain shortcircuits.

    • I wonder if any of these people are capable of rehabilitation? Because if not, there is only one other option for them in the world of the 21st century. Do you think they realize this?

      • Biel_ze_Bubba

        I think they'll serve a useful purpose by crawling out from under their rocks as the election comes near, howling for whatever white guy the GOP finally pukes up, driving millions of horrified normals to put Obama over the top.
        Then they can all go home and, in the fullness of time, die.

        • That is their only option, since they will not adapt.

          How sad to be so neophobic.

    • The comments were disappeared.

  • ShiftyParadigm

    "The whole lobby is watching! The whole lobby is watching!"

  • Wassup, my knickers?

    • If they're anything like MY knickers, plenty, dood. Just don't care to share it with y'all.

  • A remote-controlled vibrator?

  • Blueb4sunrise

    At Wisconsin Recall…listening to Whitney, Adele, or

    Boomtown Rats

  • LiveToServeYa

    Well, that's a small group of corporations on crack.

  • chascates

    Jim Newell, WAKE UP!111!

  • ThundercatHo

    OT: My local branch of Operation Chaos is doing well. This weekend the Toledo Blade endorsed Joe the plumber for the republican primary congressional candidate because he had better name recognition and more money from his GOP backers. The other guy is a successful businessman but probably never made it into SP's hotel room.

  • To my eyes, it looked like there was a lot of embarrassment on the faces of many of the chanters and some appear to be trying to hide their identity behind the signs.

  • Dood! Who'd'a thunk it? I'm a great car cusser myself, since I like to drive fast and am a curmudgeon by nature. My partner just laughs himself hysterical when I start. He's actually begun encouraging me, lately, which I think is a bad sign. Hell, even my ex, when she shows up to visit, laughs herself sick and eggs me on. Back when we were together, she was constantly reprimanding me for swearing in the car.

    ETA: Free hug.

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