burning man for bigots

CPAC Gangsta Rap Number More or Less Satan’s Cue to Destroy Earth

Here you go, dear readers, here is a little Friday warm up for whatever other terrible decisions you have planned for the weekend: watch this video of some Fox News dildo and his sidekick as they flop around in fruity wigs and rain down the musical equivalent of ten million anesthesia-free lobotomies on a delighted CPAC audience. Don’t miss the part near the end with the hysterical screams of “KNICKERS! I CAN SAY KNICKERS!!” as the black guy walks out.

IT WAS OFF THE HOOK:

Why take an innocent fanny pack hostage, tho?

[YouTube]

Comments

Hey there, Wonkeputians! Shypixel here to remind you to remember our Commenting Rules For Radicals, Enjoy!

  • nounverb911

    Wait, so the moon Nazis win?

    • Biff

      Moon Nazis have always won, Moon Nazis will always win.

    • NYNYNYjr

      This is like Wagner to moon Nazis.

      • ph7

        Well done.

      • Biel_ze_Bubba

        Der Ding-a-Ling des Nerdlungen

    • bagofmice

      Burning man for bigots might be taken a little too literally with this crowd.

    • PolitiComm

      I'm seriously about to shit myself. Between moon Nazis in red jogging suits and Bright Fart, the news has no meaning anymore. My life is now surfing between Wonkette, Comedy Central and reruns of SNL.

    • HistoriCat

      Did we give up when the moon Nazis bombed Pearl Harbor? No!

  • http://johnnyzhivago.blogspot.com johnnyzhivago

    And to think my ancestors were running around naked in Scotland 500 years ago!

    • WhatTheHeck

      I assume you mean they didn’t wear any knickers under their kilts.
      That would be 1/2 nekid.

    • Loaded_Pants

      Mmm…big hairy naked Scottish guys….I'm sorry, what?

    • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com MittBorg

      As if they've ever covered up those great hairy arses that we all know are utterly bare beneath those kilts.

      • Tundra Grifter

        MB:

        "What's worn under a kilt?"

        "Nothing – everything's in perfect working order."

        • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com MittBorg

          I actually had to think about that, which must mean I am exhausted!

          • flamingpdog

            I got that right away, which means I still have a few functioning brain cells.

          • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com MittBorg

            Share.

    • Negropolis

      My ancestors were running around naked in both Scotland and Africa 500 years ago, so I'm doubly embarrassed.

      • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com MittBorg

        The nicest part about being bi-anything? (You know, racial, sexual, whatever?)

        You get to blame BOTH sides.

        • horsedreamer_1

          This is not what Poynter means by "both sides do it".

  • Gunner Asch

    The goggles! They do nothing!

    • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com MittBorg

      The gogglers, also. Too.

      • Fare la Volpe

        And the googles.

  • Radiotherapy

    The teabagger lady sure rocks that fanny pack.

    • BerkeleyBear

      Fanny Granny just got greenlit for an 8 part reality series on Fox Business Channel (no one watches anyways, so who cares if they change formats?). CPAC is now the conservative answer to Sundance – double the douchebaggery, none of the artistry.

    • Biff

      So is this a thing now, wearing your fanny pack on your front-butt?

      • http://krisbunda.com/blog/index.php Designer_Rants

        Well, with a front-butt you've already got a shelf, might as well put something on it.

      • MissTaken

        She's wearing her pack in the British style of fanny.

        • Biff

          Mind=blown.

    • Loaded_Pants

      That's where she keeps her mace in case she encounters a scary blah person.

    • NYNYNYjr

      That's their biggest fan, she goes to all their shows. They affectionately call her "mom." As they have their whole lives.

    • Negropolis

      Don't let Lizzie hear of this. All of this talk of fannies will set off her fanny-sense.

    • Monsieur_Grumpe

      The rappers are gettiing laid tonight!

    • Jerri

      See now I thought it was a pre-teen boy, delighted to finally experience this rap thing he's heard of.

  • PuckStopsHere

    What the's name of this act? Poor, Sick Mothefucka's?

    • Frisbeedawg

      Salt-n-Salt

    • Negropolis

      Dumber & Dumberer.

    • Dashboard_Jesus

      KWA? (Knickers White Attitude)

    • BearNoLike

      DJ Sweet Tea and Cracker Barrel / House Of Lame (tie)

      • crissiep

        ROTFLMAO!

  • bureaucrap

    You mean Satan hasn't destroyed earth already? I thought that happened when Mittens said, "Corporations are People, my friend, and people aren't people."

    • IceCreamEmpress

      Wave you hands in the air like you just don't care!

      • http://wonkette.com/ Sharkey

        Throw your wigs in the air, and disinfect them like you just don't care….

    • Biel_ze_Bubba

      Seriously, it may be time to start walking the earth again. You leave evil to amateurs, and it just degenerates, until you get unbearable shit like this.

  • http://loljazzcatz.blogspot.com/ Chet Kincaid

    Don't you see? You're not making conservatism better, you're just making rock and roll worse!!

  • littlebigdaddy

    Speaking as a person of whiteness, this is extremely embarrassing.

    • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com MittBorg

      At this point, after the last, what, 12 years of these fucking old white Republicans just going publicly insane and hangin' it all out? I'm just feeling SO sorry for all my friends of no-pigmentation, man, because it is SRSLY embarrassing right now to be one of THOSE guyz.

      The wimminz, thank deity, have been better overall (we're NOT naming the Three Witches in case one of them decides to hit the media tonight).

      • http://wonkette.com/ starfanglednut

        I'm in a perpetual cringe.

        • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com MittBorg

          Yabbut you're one of the wimminz, right? Because, not that wimminz overall have been saints or are in any way *better* than the menz, but they do seem somewhat more supportive of, you know, other oppressed classes.

          • http://wonkette.com/ starfanglednut

            Make no mistake about it, teh wimminz are opressed, It is my belief that homophobia is an outgrowth of hatred of women. A gay man is worthy of contempt because he has (in their minds) feminine characteristics. A dyke, while ok if she knows her place and lets straight men watch her having sex with her girlfriend, is only marginally less worthy of contempt, because she has the audacity to be (in their minds) like a man. And a transwoman, a man who willingly “becomes” a woman, is the most contemptible of all.Oh and Z, I haz teh genderqueer, and my inner gay boy thinks ur hawt.

          • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com MittBorg

            Oh, absolutely. Wasn't it Lenin who said that women are a natural revolutionary class? Maybe it was Mao. I forget.

            Hey, I think ur inner gayboi is pretty fucking hot, too.

          • flamingpdog

            Get a room!

            A tastefully appointed room, of course.

          • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com MittBorg

            And quiet. You forgot quiet.

          • snoopyfan2010

            Not necessarily true. I have seen the non pigmented women throw men and women of darker skin color under the bus for a piece of the pie. And don't forget who benefits the most from the twisted and unnatural standard of beauty that is force on society. It is the one area they can earn more than their male counter parts. But yeah it is a convenient card to play when not everything goes their way.

          • http://wonkette.com/ starfanglednut

            I think I see your point, but I'm not sure I agree. Yes, many white women discriminate against people of color. But that does not negate the fact that women, of all shades, are globally at a significant disadvantage to men. Some, but not all of many statistics supporting my contention can be seen here:http://www.nswrapecrisis.com.au/Resources/Noticeboard/Global-Statistics.pdfAnd yes, women can at times make money by adhering to standards of 'beauty”, but more often, a woman can starve herself, remove her pubic hair with hot wax, jam herself into uncomfortable shoes and skirts that make her ass wiggle in a way that appeals to straight men, claw her way up the corporate ladder, and still not receive genuine respect or equal pay from her male coworkers or society at large.And surely, if you spend time on wonkette, you are aware of the daily onslaught on womens' reproductive and healthcare rights. I'm not saying that other forms of discrimination are any less important, but discrimination against women is severe, and very real.And what do you mean by “But yeah it is a convenient card to play when not everything goes their way. “?

          • snoopyfan2010

            Star….I see your point too and you are right. Women of all races bear the burden of discrimination more than men. What I mean to point out is that some women have used the racial bias in their favor to get ahead. The last comment is just an extension of that thought. Just like High School Musical….we're all in this together…..but some forget that until it hits them in the buttocks.Sent from my iPad

          • http://wonkette.com/ starfanglednut

            I agree, Snoop, we are all in this together. Sometimes things don't translate well over the internet, we can't see each other's facial expressions or hear each other's tone of voice, so I apologize if I misunderstood.

          • snoopyfan2010

            Hey, no worries. I only read Wonkette to help me develop my sense of humor. My sense of irony and self pity are near perfection, however.Sent from my iPad

    • memzilla

      As am I, and I have the same embarrassment.

      I'm actually trying to deconstruct my embarrassment / revulsion. The cheap Adidas track suits, the poofty gray hair, the rap pretentiousness, the finger-jabbing… I guess just the entire frothy mix of whiteness looking for coolness, and its massive fail. It's like the man said about obscenity: I can't define it, but I know it when I see it.

      • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com MittBorg

        Well, there IS that whole fat, flabby, overweight, outa shape, and srsly ugly vibe going there, too.

      • anniegetyerfun

        For me, it was that they were channeling Nickelback. Intentionally. They might have actually made Nickelback appear talented by comparison.

    • http://whatisawatthedevolution.blogspot.com imissopus

      Also as a sentient human. Also.

    • snoopyfan2010

      Really? The whole human race is embarrassed.

  • nounverb911

    I made it six seconds into the video, do I win a prize?

    • http://www.storycorner.us/ JustPixelz

      Six seconds! You are like a god to us. A blind, deaf god after clawing your own eyes and ears out, but a god none-the-less. Where would you like the virgin sacrifice delivered? (NOTE: The virgins were in the audience.)

      • http://krisbunda.com/blog/index.php Designer_Rants
        • Geminisunmars

          O.M.G.

          • http://krisbunda.com/blog/index.php Designer_Rants

            And someone at NPR is having a little too much fun with the stock photos.

          • http://wonkette.com/ starfanglednut

            WTF?

        • Loaded_Pants

          It may be just me but it seems like Mr. Elise is probably last person who should be advising people about how to date?
          The last thing I want to do is get into arguments about politics all the time. That would mess up one important part of dating for me which is, of course, the sex.

          • http://krisbunda.com/blog/index.php Designer_Rants

            I listened to this earlier, but I seem to remember advice about "it's okay if I think Al Gore's an idiot and she doesn't like Sarah Palin"… Yep, best just keep your mouth shut and your legs open in that situation, and then part ways until next year's CPUKE hotel hookup.

            BTW, where are these liberals meeting these CPACers? I hope our Jim Newell hasn't been… compromised.

        • Fare la Volpe

          I can't imagine what a conservative's dating tips are like.

          "Smack her once to remind her of daddy."

        • MissNancyPriss

          :(

      • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com MittBorg

        Isn't C'thulhu one of those blind, deaf Elder Gods? Or is that Shub-Niggurath? I get my Elder Gods all confused.

        • HistoriCat

          C'thulhu is dead and dreaming, not blind and deaf.

    • ThundercatHo

      I made it to 15 seconds. I think I should get a beautiful lounge suite.

      • Crank_Tango

        Hey, me too! I can do a lot of things in 15 seconds…

      • finallyhappy

        how about a lounge suit- with a full Cleveland?

    • biblioteq_tress

      It's a freecreditscore.com commercial?

    • PsycWench

      I made it to almost a minute. "10 million anesthesia-free lobotomies" is an understatement by a factor of 1000.

      • bagofmice

        We passed face palm at 3 seconds. We blew out the head desk at :45, and have been rocking the ball-peen ever since.

        • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com MittBorg

          You poor little thing. I wish I coulda warned you.

      • http://krisbunda.com/blog/index.php Designer_Rants

        If you can't stand the lobotomy, stay out of the CPAC.

      • Biel_ze_Bubba

        30 seconds was my limit. It sounded like they were anally-raping Nirvana, more so than Hip-Hop or Rap.

    • Dashboard_Jesus

      damn I feel pretty good, made it a whole 10 seconds before shutting it down, the noise/ stupidity was deafening

  • CapnFatback

    IT WAS OFF THE HOOK

    They certainly should have been on the hook–the Sandman's hook.

    • Barrelhse

      Decided to call my Baby on the telephone
      All I got was a busy tone

    • C_R_Eature

      That's good. I'd settle for Cenobites, also.

    • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com MittBorg

      A shepherd's crook.

  • Mahousu

    For once, I was actually hoping to be rickrolled.

  • HarryButtle

    No. I will not clicky the linky. You tricked me into watching conservative rappers once before and my groove thing is STILL out of whack.

    FREEBIRD!!!1!!! also.

    • http://krisbunda.com/blog/index.php Designer_Rants

      I can't wait for your upcoming blockbuster "How Buttle Got His Groove Back".

    • Barrelhse

      I wanna hear Caravan with a drum solo.

      • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com MittBorg

        Except he made it sound like "drum soler." I don't know why that cracks me up. (takes another pill)

  • http://www.wonkette.com smokefilledroommate

    That mofo rocks a powdered wig and a jogging suit like I've never seen!

    • littlebigdaddy

      He forgot the alarm clock, though.

      • http://www.wonkette.com smokefilledroommate

        Lame-a-LAAAAME!!

  • Boojum_Reborn

    Gnu Lehvuls Of Stoopid, performing Whyte Corporations.

    • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com MittBorg

      I read "Guh Lehvuls Of Stoopid," and want to congratulate you on having donated a new word to the vocabulary of La Casa de Los Gatos.

  • meatlofer

    What the fuck? Couldn't those sway-backed repubatards just book Murph& The Magictones for some entertainment.Stay away from the in-shit boys! Fucking pricks!

    • HarryButtle

      Good Ol' Blues Brothers Boys libel!

    • poncho_pilot

      look at you in those candy-ass monkey suits.

  • littlebigdaddy

    You know the room was more relaxed after the black guy walked out.

    • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com MittBorg

      Shit, you know all those mothafuckin' white-assed folks all looked around and said, "Phew! N*****'s gone, we can get back to havin FUN now!"

      • PuckStopsHere

        I was hoping he was leaving to go and get a cap to bust in they ass.

        • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com MittBorg

          I fucking wish, dood. I would pay good money to see that.

        • MissNancyPriss

          we would have heard that on the news by now, right? I mean there isn't a small chance….

    • horsedreamer_1

      They'll always have Harold Ford, Jr.

    • mjrdegan

      That exit was planned.

  • C_R_Eature

    Hieronymus Bosch painted a room in Hell that looked exactly like this.

    Thankfully, there was no sound.

    • HarryButtle

      Thank you. I will now forever see Republitard gatherings as Bosch paintings.

      • C_R_Eature

        Welcome to the Club.

        Sorry.

    • Chichikovovich

      Oh, yes. Thanks – I knew I remembered this scene from somewhere. It's the first version of Garden of Earthly Delights that Bosch discarded because it made hell seem too horrific.

      • C_R_Eature

        Yes, that's correct! Bosch also tried to paint the same scene in The Seven Deadly Sins and the Four Last Things but the reaction from most of the individuals in the Brotherhood of Our Lady was so negative that he immediately painted it out. Only a few sketches remain, fortunately.

  • SudsMcKenzie

    CPAC Shakur.

    • Biff

      That's the one, right there.

    • Barrelhse

      Six-pac, fer shur!

    • http://wonkette.com/ starfanglednut

      Annnnd we have a winner, ladies and gents!

    • Negropolis

      Yes, but will they end up like their namesake?

    • CapnFatback

      Worst Coast represent!

    • anniegetyerfun

      Brilliant. Just fucking brilliant.

      Knickerback, also.

  • Lionel[redacted]Esq

    watch this video of some Fox News dildo and his sidekick

    I thought they cancelled Hannity and Colmes.

  • http://www.wonkette.com smokefilledroommate

    Two Craigslist entries right there.

  • Lionel[redacted]Esq

    Who knew it was possible to make you miss Vanilla Ice.

    • http://www.southsidejohnny.com/ Jukesgrrl

      Word to your mother.

    • bagofmice

      At least vanilla could hang with suge. By the ankles, admittedly, but these guys wouldn't be worth the elevator ride.

  • Monsieur_Grumpe

    As Jed Clampett would say”pitiful”.

    • Nostrildamus

      Granny would say "fetch my shotgun!"

  • edgydrifter

    It's really weird how some people aren't at all ashamed of things that are absolutely shameful. This video is like a Truck Nutz interpretive dance routine.

  • ProgressiveInga

    ☹ Srsly, Kirsten? WTF did we ever do to you? That is just messed up. You kinda suck right now. Oh, man, that was just wrong. ☹

    • http://www.wonkette.com smokefilledroommate

      shhh– the alt-text is rather good. kbj! kbj!

  • LesBontemps

    Worst. Porno. Evar.

  • http://www.wonkette.com Chillwillard

    Just watched it. Shall I facepalm myself to death now or later?

    • bagofmice

      This is ether and ball-peen territory.

  • CapnFatback

    CPACrap.

  • TeaNuts

    Just when you think they could not possibly stuff more clowns in that car. I could only watch in opened mouth amazement.

    • soeoho

      Aww, you bust my gut.

  • edgydrifter

    They are CPACistan's greatest cultural treasure.

    • Tilley

      Total thumbs-up just for "CPAC-istan."

      • Biel_ze_Bubba

        And again for "greatest cultural treasure".
        That just gets funnier anf funnier, every time I read it.

  • fitley

    I'm surprised that Patrick McHenry was the only one who got up to dance.
    I think we now know why they always steal Democrat's music, like Bruce Springsteen, Tom Petty, and Jackson Brown.

    • Barrelhse

      They should grab themselves some Barry McGuire- "Eve of Destruction" would be fitting for the GOP right now..

  • sharethegrief

    This almost makes me believe in the death penalty.

  • http://www.flickr.com/photos/30500320@N06/ DerrickWildcat

    That whole CPAC thing looks like one big White Power Cuddle Party.

  • MissTaken

    Is it too late to submit this for Grammy consideration?

    • Biff

      Grammy was all up in that shit in the back of the room.

    • Barrelhse

      I doubt if the little old ladies would like it, either.

  • fartknocker

    Richard Simmons has really gone to hell in a hand basket.

  • SayItWithWookies

    Which two Golden Girls were those?

    • Lionel[redacted]Esq

      The dead ones?

    • Tundra Grifter

      SIwW:

      Those are Golden Shower Girls.

    • Negropolis

      Betty White got more soul in her blue hair than that entire damned room has had in their entire lives.

  • tihond

    Apparently, DC Talk and Lee Greenwood were too busy for CPAC.

  • LesBontemps

    How the hell did that act not totally empty the room? Is this some sort of SERE desensitization training? Are those people super-glued to their chairs? What has become of artistic sensibilities? As a sign of the prospects for culture in general, this is just fucking depressing.

    • BerkeleyBear

      Say what you will about white people, but we are very good about listening politely to crap that makes our ears bleed. These people have decades of going to their kids/friends' kids/relatives' kids crappy recitals, school plays and Christmas pageants, sitting through it and applauding politely.

      • Geminisunmars

        So there is something we have in common with the conservatives. That might be the place to start coming together.

    • Biel_ze_Bubba

      The bald guy in the audience, at least, looked like he might be considering getting off the crazy train at the next stop.

  • Chichikovovich

    I knew it! Negropolis went down there to do the Sasha Baron Cohen thing on those bozos. [Original suggestion from Chet]. But he hadn't realized what pathetic losers they would be and he couldn't take it. Understandable – who could possibly anticipate something as grotesque as that!

    Just as well that he walked out. The combined genius of Cohen, Lenny Bruce and Richard Prior couldn't make those zeros look any dumber than they've already made themselves.

    • http://ifthethunderdontgetya.blogspot.com/ ifthethunderdontgetya

      I was sure that Chet had your best interests at heart.

      I am SHOCKED.
      ~

  • soeoho

    I miss the GONG Show.

  • WhatTheHeck

    Old timeys tryin to get jiggy wid it.

    • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com MittBorg

      I just wish one of them had thrown their back out.

      • http://wonkette.com/ starfanglednut

        I think they did. Fortunately, a nice boy from Craigslist is coming over to give them a massage.

  • Sassomatic

    Huh. Insane Clown Posse is a lot better than I thought they were.

  • http://www.wonkette.com ManchuCandidate

    Not so fly for white guys.

  • Mojopo

    How much windowpane will it take to make me forget all of this?

    • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com MittBorg

      I don't think there *is* that much. Unless you're talking "for the next two days."

    • NYNYNYjr

      Depends what floor you're starting from.

    • eatingraoul

      I'd chase it with some ludes.

  • Generation[redacted]

    I love how they're showing that episode of the Office on the screen while they dance.

    Scranton! (what?)
    The electric city!
    I said Scranton! (what?)
    The electric city!

  • MissTaken

    Every year CPAC reminds me why I'm ashamed to be white.

    • edgydrifter

      You shouldn't be ashamed to be white.
      You should be ashamed that they are white.

    • Mojopo

      Reminds me why I'm proud to be geh.

      • MissTaken

        I'm a straight and a white, gawd help me. But at least I got a vagina to keep me sane.

        • Mojopo

          I have one of those, too. Win-win except for, about, 5 days a month.

        • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com MittBorg

          It has been my experience that vaginas go a long way towards damping down teh crayZ. So to speak.

        • http://wonkette.com/ starfanglednut

          Don't worry. You're a wimmin. That makes you just as worthless as a ghey or blah.

        • BigDumbRedDog

          Straight and white is soooo uncool. I was a geh before it was cool to be geh.

          • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com MittBorg

            Oh gawd, another Certified Baby Dyke, just like my sister! She knew before she hit FIVE.

          • Fare la Volpe

            According to my mother, I became obsessed with shoes when I was eighteen months. A year later I told my father how unfair it was that boys could only wear pants, but girls could wear pants and dresses.

            INTERPRET AS YOU WILL.

          • anniegetyerfun

            It's sweet that you gave them a head's up. Better to get those PFLAG memberships earlier, and lock in a lower rate.

    • C_R_Eature

      I'm ashamed that they're Hominids.

      • flamingpdog

        I prefer to believe they're not. It's known as convergent evolution in the business.

        • http://loljazzcatz.blogspot.com/ Chet Kincaid

          But if you fuck one of 'em and have any viable offspring, your theory is blown!

          • C_R_Eature

            I was really hoping to not Projectile Vomit tonight. Thanks a lot.

        • C_R_Eature

          I'd love to believe that, also, but I'm just not that lucky.

          It's become painfully clear to me that they are, in fact Hominids, with the advent of the Mitochondiale Eve theory and the Multiregional origins hypotheses.
          I just have to come to terms with the likelihood that they're Relatives.
          I do take comfort in that they're probably an offshoot of the Main tree and an evolutionary dead end.
          Not nearly fast enough for me, though.
          I wonder if sapiens felt the same way about Neanderthal?

          Cool graphic, thanks! I'm saving it.

        • Dudleydidwrong

          Possum Libel! Are you saying that those THINGS in that video are marsupials? What self-respecting offspring would ever feel safe in their pouches? I think that the pouches are for storing shit for throwing. Or for quick snacks.

      • BigDumbRedDog

        I'm ashamed that they're mammals.

        • C_R_Eature

          I'm sorry. There's no Evolutionary Theory Workaround for that one. We will all just have to bear with that knowledge.

          • BigDumbRedDog

            I'm ashamed that they're carbon based. Shit is still made out of mostly carbon, right?

          • C_R_Eature

            Yes. Yes it is. Carbon is as Carbon does.

          • bagofmice

            You can put that in your pipe and smoke it.

          • flamingpdog

            They could be dinosaurs.

          • C_R_Eature

            That would be Birds, today. Good try, though.

            And now I'm very thankful they're not. Very.

          • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com MittBorg

            They Might Be Giants.

          • ShaveTheWhales

            TMBG libel!!!!

            Both the band and the movie.

    • http://krisbunda.com/blog/index.php Designer_Rants

      White Shame = the new White Guilt. With shame like this, Barry's a shoe-in!

    • fuflans

      helps to thing of cole porter.

      course, he was gay, but still…

  • Chichikovovich

    At least I now have a benchmark to know what it would be like to sleep with Helen Mirren.

    It would be the exact, precise polar opposite of that.

    • http://wonkette.com/ starfanglednut

      Oh, she is gorgeous. She and Meryl Streep.

      • Chichikovovich

        Streep doesn't do it for me. Great actress, I love to watch her inhabit a role, but not "dream of wild nights of passion" material.

        Dame Helen, on the other hand, I fell in love with as a little shaver when I saw her in O Lucky Man!, and she's just gotten better with age. (As have I, now that I think of it.)

        • anniegetyerfun

          Yeah, never could get into Streep myself. Mirren, though? Tasty.

    • Negropolis

      I'm glad you added the second party. I was about to say. lol

  • MissTaken

    I was going to try to get tix to Coachella this year, but now I don't have to. Thank you, Wonkete!

  • Joshua Norton

    Appears to be many empty chairs. Wonder why.

    • Tundra Grifter

      JN:

      Funny – I was just wondering why any were occupied.

      • flamingpdog

        There was a mass Hoveround battery failure?

  • http://ifthethunderdontgetya.blogspot.com/ ifthethunderdontgetya

    Where's Sandman Sims when you really need him?
    ~

    • GeorgiaBurning

      Where are the Grim Reaper Sims when you need them?

  • arcadesproject

    What kinda leaps out at me is that these fools used an African American musical genre to celebrate their ability to scream Knickers. Is that ironic or what?

    • IceCreamEmpress

      Malibu's Least Wanted.

    • HateMachine

      I can picture them riding in their mom's van to the con, giggling to themselves about how funny it will be to yell neutered racial slurs in an alleged rap song. What fun!

      Now I'm picturing the van exploding.

      • flamingpdog

        Not before it drives off a 500-foot cliff, please.

        • 40 or 50 % McShineys

          Can we add a lake of bubbling sewage in there somewhere?

      • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com MittBorg

        I *really* like the last part.

        • HistoriCat

          It's all about the happy ending.

        • Dashboard_Jesus

          damn you made it thru the WHOLE horrible thing?

          • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com MittBorg

            Oh, HELL no. I meant the last part of the previous commenter's statement.

            I like to about fucking DIED after ten seconds of that thing. DON'T WATCH IT, whatever you do. What has been seen, etc.

  • orygoon

    I guess kids who don't get out much think that was fun. Poor babies. Really, back in Texas I knew people who home-schooled their kids and their kids just didn't know shit about anything. (Or anyone.)

  • BlueStateLibel

    From the guys in business attire paying attention to this, to the groovin' grandma, to the white-powdered clowns themselves, this takes the cake in the history of lameness.

    • Biff

      I've seen multiple-amputees with lesser degrees of lameness.

    • http://loljazzcatz.blogspot.com/ Chet Kincaid

      And it is a plain, unfrosted pound cake.

      • BerkeleyBear

        Sara Lee libel!

  • e_z

    Left side, 2nd row, aisle seat…WTF? Is that a Beret on the fat guy in the black shirt? At least he's getting his month's worth of exercise waving his bingo wings about.

    This country is in trouble, big, big trouble.

    • BigDumbRedDog

      He caught my eye right away. He only wears that hat to celebrate having a reason to leave his mom's basement.

    • flamingpdog

      I missed the fat guy with the beret. I'd like to check it out, but there's no way in Mississippi I'm watching that video again.

  • IceCreamEmpress

    Numbskullz With Attitude. ( Or Alzheimer's. Whichever.)

    • PubOption

      Knickers with Attitude?

  • MissTaken

    I now know what I'm going to play to kill the Moon Nazis when they arrive.

  • owhatever

    They just simply do not get that racism thing; never have, never will.

    • DoktorThompson

      Not true. They are experts at it.

    • http://wonkette.com/ starfanglednut

      They don't get it, but the politicians who manipulate them do.

    • Negropolis

      Oh, they get it, all right. Problem is that they don't think it's a problem.

  • flamingpdog

    White people that hate black people are so cute when they try to imitate the black people.
    But you'd think they'd do a better job of hating others since they have so much experience hating themselves.

  • ThundercatHo

    That is some seriously fucked up shit right there.

  • flamingpdog

    I apologize to the blah fellow as he walked out of the room if he happened to see me vomiting my lunch at almost the same time.

  • http://www.flickr.com/photos/30500320@N06/ DerrickWildcat

    They are rubbish!

  • DarwinianDemon

    That guy that walked out was thinking "I don't get paid enough for this shit" so loudly I heard it over here in IL.

    • emmelemm

      I know, right?

      I can't believe he made it that long.

  • Biff

    That one guy that walked out–he was a plant, right?

    • flamingpdog

      Why would a plant feel uncomfortable in a room full of vegetables?

    • sharethegrief

      Yes, but we need to find him and ask him what he won't do for love.

      • Biff

        Like Meatloaf, he won't do that. Obviously.

    • Blueb4sunrise

      If the guy was hotel staff, he may have friends in other departments.

      • finallyhappy

        I was thinking that in that hotel, many employees are black or hispanic or gay(or some combination thereof) . I'm hoping the kitchen and housekeeping staff had some "fun" with their jobs the past few days.

        • http://wonkette.com/ starfanglednut

          Mmmmm, rubber chicken with spit sauce.

        • Biff

          This is at a Marriott, true? Is Mittens still on the board?

          • http://www.southsidejohnny.com/ Jukesgrrl

            And did you know that Tweety's wife, Kathleen Matthews, is Senior Vice President of Global Communications for the Marriott Corporation? I know what she's getting out of it ($), but I can't imagine what they're getting out of it (trying to understand the world outside Utah?).

          • Biff

            They're a pretty good outfit to work for. A relative of mine was a manager for them at Vail Colorado, they treated him very well until he threw it away.

        • MilwaukeeKent

          The One Percent, always a little worried that the "Help" may have F'd with their food. Relax, suckers, we like your money just as much as anyone else's, for now.

    • Negropolis

      Yes, a Blah Orchid, if you will.

      • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com MittBorg

        Bazillion upfists.

      • Biff

        Lookin' for his Dahlia, or Blahlia?

  • http://krisbunda.com/blog/index.php Designer_Rants

    Is this a "white thing'? Please tell me this isn't a "white thing"!

  • bflrtsplk

    Vanilla Ice wasn't available.

    • http://www.southsidejohnny.com/ Jukesgrrl

      He's art compared to that.

      • MilwaukeeKent

        Really, this reminded of nothing as much as a bad "break the ice" skit at some corporate retreat. Just replace the lyrics with a bunch of VP-Marketing pleasing references to the company and it's products (track suits and patriot wigs?)…

        "First a little something to loosen things up! Joe and Bob, those hip young scenesters you all know from the loading dock! Hit it, boys! A big hand for Joe and Bob, everyone! [ Psst! Betty, hit 'play' on the boom box…Betty!…]

        • http://www.southsidejohnny.com/ Jukesgrrl

          And then there's the “communications specialist” (me) in the corner with her head in her hands muttering, I TOLD them this would suck.

  • EatsBabyDingos

    Beetlejuice, Beetlejuice, Beetlejuice!

    • http://krisbunda.com/blog/index.php Designer_Rants

      Haha! Reminds me of the time a few years back when I went on a bidness trip with my brother to Orlando. I drank more than any human should and karaoke'd "Day-O (The Banana Boat Song)". I received a smattering of applause, but when I sat back down my brother's review was "Worst. Karaoke. Ever."

  • BarackMyWorld

    It was off the hook? I wish someone would let us off the hook!

  • Goonemeritus

    They managed to drive away the last black Republican and you know if he stuck it out this long you couldn't accuse him of being overly sensitive.

    • http://krisbunda.com/blog/index.php Designer_Rants

      Even the Black Guilt couldn't keep him there any longer.

  • http://wonkette.com/ weej_bain

    They shoulda done A Whiter Shade of Palin.

  • Rotundo_

    So this "Great Meeting of the Conservative Brain Trust" amounts to a bunch of assholes doing speeches and skits that could have come from a really really untalented bunch of high school aged kids? Wow, I just thought the people that read or watched or listened to these folks were dumbasses, just being played by cynical normal (or somewhat normal) people. WRONGO! The dumbasses are leading the dumbasses. It is at once horrifying and reassuring.

  • Tilley

    Couldn't do it, nope, could NOT watch this vomitous thing through to the end. From what I could endure, this is the worst piece-of-shit contard video clip I've seen since the Karl Rove/David Gregory "Dancing While Iraq Burns" Abomination of 2007.

    • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com MittBorg

      All you've done is convince me to give it a try.

    • http://Wonkette.com DemmeFatale

      I only watched (some of it) so that I would understand the comments.
      (I too, thought of Karl Turd-Blossom Baby-Head Rove.)

  • JohnnyBrooklyn

    As conservative rap goes, I thought it was quite good.

    • Blueb4sunrise

      Heh.
      Welcome.
      May you have much p.

    • Tundra Grifter

      JB:

      It actually makes one think Christian Rock might be a better bet.

      That is the whitest thing I've ever seen. And that is not a compliment.

    • http://wonkette.com/ starfanglednut

      And there you have it, folks.

    • Dudleydidwrong

      It just doesn't go far enough. 1000' cliff? Marianas Trench? Kilauea volcano? "Alice–to the moon!"?

  • Selfish_T

    A 30-second clip of this presented without comment would make a pretty good Obama campaign ad.

    • bikerlaureate

      Where do we donate to the Wonkette SuperPAC?

  • SilverTsunami

    "It's America, don't you run away." Are they pleading with the audience?

  • PhilippePetain

    I really want to know the fanny-pack loser's life story. What was she doing in the 60s? What brought her to this? What personal tragedies or cranial injuries could have resulted in this behavior?

    Why haven't any behaviorists gone out and studies conservatives en masse? that would make for some grand reading.

    • BlueStateLibel

      But they have, see http://tinyurl.com/ydb6563

      • PhilippePetain

        Yeah, I guess I mean I would like some anecdotal fill-in to those studies. Basically a gossip rag full of these people talking. It would be genuinely entertaining/disheartening.

        • BlueStateLibel

          How many beers do I have to drink and urls do I have to post (here's another one: http://preview.tinyurl.com/y9racoq) to convince you people that liberals are smarter than conservatives?

          • PhilippePetain

            That's just science, we know better than to trust that stuff.

      • http://krisbunda.com/blog/index.php Designer_Rants

        Could they have maybe alt-texted that TIME photo with "Moonbat," just so we're sure what we're looking at?

    • SudsMcKenzie

      I just want whatever meds she's got in that fanny pack.

    • Tundra Grifter

      Seems like yesterday she was wearing a red dress, waving around a Baggie with her birth certificate inside it.

    • Negropolis

      Yes, this is, indeed, a "Brenda, who hurt you?" type Lifetime question.

    • eatingraoul

      They are the most confused people on the planet.

  • lochnessmonster

    Do ppl pay extra to go to these thingqs at the CPAC??? Does it involve wires and tubes like the intranets?

    • Biff

      Dump trucks.

  • C_R_Eature

    I don't know about anyone else, but I needed something to wash that hideous sight out of my brain. I found this, from Genuine Patriot and archetypal Jersey Boy Bruce Springsteen:
    We Take Care of Our Own.

    Courtesy The Maddow Blog. Enjoy.

    • http://www.southsidejohnny.com/ Jukesgrrl

      Enjoy it while it's new. It will be misinterpreted by cons in a matter of weeks.

      • http://loljazzcatz.blogspot.com/ Chet Kincaid

        This one seems pretty bullet-proof.

    • ShaveTheWhales

      1. I've been semi-waiting for that. Thank you.

      2. Yes, it will be misinterpreted, although the lyrics are not as subtle as Born in the USA.

      3. You can just hear the hole that was left for Big Man.

      • C_R_Eature

        You're Welcome!

        I think the Progressive movement has the jump on defining this one. One hopes.

        Really miss Clarence Clemons. Life goes on, though, as do we.

        • MilwaukeeKent

          Will always admire Springsteen for collaborating with 2 Live Crew, mashing Born In The USA for their Broward County/first Amendment victory lap.

        • http://www.southsidejohnny.com/ Jukesgrrl

          My pal Eddie Manion from the Asbury Jukes will be playing sax, along with Clarence's nephew Jake Clemons, on the upcoming Wrecking Ball tour. Eddie's on the CD, did the Seeger Sessions sax work, played at the Super Bowl with E St., etc., so it's a long time coming that he's officially getting a promotion. Ed often plays a baritone sax so that will give Wrecking Ball a different sound. But it takes two, or more, to fill The Big Man's shoes. I've got my ticket for the LA show; I'm really excited for some political music from a pissed-off Boss.

          • Biff

            Is Eddie the guy who always plays with Darlene Love when she does the Letterman Xmas show? If so, that'll work!

          • http://www.southsidejohnny.com/ Jukesgrrl

            No that's Bruce Kapler. But most of the Jukes and the CBS Orchestra work together on various projects in New York all the time. Ed used to sit in on Conan O'Brien's show when it was in NYC and they needed an extra sax for some reason or another (like when Springsteen showed up). New Jersey has a rich history of providing great horn players to NYC.

          • Biff

            Ah, Bruce Kapler–thanks. Somehow I get him, Bruce Johnstone and Eddie confused at times. Need more like them.

    • http://loljazzcatz.blogspot.com/ Chet Kincaid

      Nice song! Out of idle curiosity, I also looked at the Van Halen "Tatoo" video — guess who devoted their whole last stanza to a pro-union message?

      Uncle Danny had a coal tattoo
      He fought for the union
      Some of us still do

      On my shoulder is the number
      of the chapter he was in
      that number is forever like
      the struggle here to win

  • Eve8Apples

    Conservatives have no soul – not just in the metaphysical/spiritual sense. Every time they try to be funny or express themselves artistically, it just falls flat. It makes me cringe.

    • iburl

      A good example of this is "Red Eye" on Fox News late on the weekends, when they show how amazingly devoid of humor so-called "comedy" can be.

    • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com MittBorg

      I think you have something there. Although that's been the case pretty much since I can remember, I don't think it's been so blatantly obvious till now. But then again, they've never been as far right of anything like a middle, before, either.

  • iburl

    These guys make Vanilla Ice and Kid Rock look like Eric B. and Rakim.

  • One_Man_Band

    HEY, YOU'LL TOTALLY THANK ME FOR THIS:
    http://youtu.be/3h8bUtIfpSo

    It's the original video of this "song", and possibly even more embarrassing to humanity than the "live" version.

    • Fukui_sanYesOta

      The chorus is tight and has a scream from the soul feel. Made the hair on the back of my neck stand up. At first it comes of hokey..but then the solid chorus kicks in and after that the second vocalists blows it away in a rat ah tat format with breaks and speed ups in all the right places. Made my dick hard. The lyrics come from a place of a man watching his beloved republic burn as he rings the bell and tries to warn the people.That second lyricist bites you from the speakers.

      • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com MittBorg

        (slaps Fukui_sanYesOta hard)

        Breathe, dood. Breathe. You OK? You were mumbling some seriously crazy shit for a minute.

        • HistoriCat

          Has he been dipping into Barb's medicines? Not cool man – NOT cool!

          • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com MittBorg

            I'm'a check his pupils, you get Barb.

          • Fukui_sanYesOta

            Calm down chaps! I was simply quoting the most eloquent youtube comment.

            Most of the comments were praising the knickers/n-word homophony.

          • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com MittBorg

            Whew! Thank deities you're OK.

            Just don't tell them it's homophony, they'll mass-suicide … oh, wait, on second thought …

          • MilwaukeeKent

            These two kids? I hear their mother's a thespian.

          • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com MittBorg

            So *that's* where they got their love of … flamboyance, and all things theatrical!

    • flamingpdog

      I'ma think I be sendin' this to my man, Weird Al, to fix it up.

      Oh, wait, he already did Dare to BeStupid.

  • http://www.wonkette.com smokefilledroommate

    Git up get get get down
    Lame CPAC chumps wear the lame crown.

  • bagofmice

    Knickers? Please.

    Please tell me that these conservatives are that homo.

    Homophonic, of course. How dare you misconstrue anything I say into a blatant slur!

    • Biff

      I used to embrace a nomadic, 2-wheeled lifestyle. A couple of my brothers from Canada had "No Homos" embroidered on the saddles of their motorcycles. Surprisingly, it did not mean what I thought it meant, but rather that they also embraced the nomadic 2-wheeled lifestyle I enjoyed…

  • chascates

    Oh, for fuck's sake (from HuffPo):
    Republicans in the U.S. Senate want the long-term unemployed to volunteer for 20 hours a week in order to receive unemployment insurance.
    A bill introduced Thursday by Sen. Richard Burr (R-N.C.) would also require claimants drawing benefits six months or longer to search for work at least 20 hours a week.

    • BlueStateLibel

      How ironic, people who do no work requiring other people to do work.

    • Biff

      Then, when they find out you were unavailable for work 20 hours a week, they deny your claim? Fucking brilliant, I tellz ya!

    • MilwaukeeKent

      How about paying them directly for that work, instead of putting them one step forward and two steps back? Probably to beat self-suffiency into them and the beatings will continue until morale improves. Plus we tried that in the '30s and it worked, can't have that. This is their damned jobs program, reinstitute child labor, extend the work span to 70, elminate lunch hours, cut taxes for the rich to 25%, destroy unions and basically flatten the world-wide wage structure to about a dollar an hour, more or less. Shits.

  • Limeylizzie

    Totallly, totally OT but this is why unions are wonderful, this man , a friend and colleague of MrLimeylizzie had ALS or Lou Gehrig's Disease and the Teamsters et al painted his house for his wife, because he couldn't and he'd made a promise. His wife just called MrLimeylizzie to say that he has died. Fuck you Republicans for trying to demonize the unions, I hope you all go to hell.
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EuoGpHEQt1w

    • http://wonkette.com/ starfanglednut

      Sorry for your loss, LL.

      • Limeylizzie

        Not really my loss, I didn't know him, but a loss to the industry and to his family.

    • chascates

      The ONLY reason people work a 40-hour week, can have vacations or holidays, get paid for overtime, and aren't subject to firing for frivolous reasons is because of the fights unions have made over the years. The federal government has sent in soldiers to shoot them, state and local police have killed and brutalized them, and businesses have hired private goons to terrorize and torture them but the unions persevered.

      Unions are the arteries of democracy. Sorry to year of the death of your friend. And those vicious, corrupt Teamsters did something nice for him, just because they could.

    • Biff

      I always had a great relationship with my union brothers, the hierarchy, not so much. Another good man gone.

    • flamingpdog

      "I hope you all go to hell".

      If there is a hell, Ll, you don't have to hope. It's guaranteed.

  • http://wonkette.com/ starfanglednut

    Moon Nazis are not impressed.

    • bagofmice

      Honestly, after you're a moon nazi, what can impress? You're going to need a T-Rex with a laser sword to lift an eyebrow.

  • miked420

    without even looking into the background on these two vomit bags, I bet that they do the same for evangelical christian groups. There's always a few black people at CPAC, and these idiots had to think about that. So what'd they think that the 1-5 black people in attendance would actually have a laugh at clever use of the word ''knickers"? I can imagine what these geniuses thought the reaction would be "Oh hahaha, the boys said 'knickers', hahah, not the other word symbolizing, years of oppression, inequality and dehumanization. How funny! The white man sure knows how to have a laugh!"

    • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com MittBorg

      I don't know about any other non-white folks, but whenever I'm *around* people like these? My shoulder blades start twitching, like I'm expecting a knife between them at any minute. I do not know how that man could even have joined that fucking group.

      • flamingpdog

        In defense of the man of the blah persuasion, he could have been the audio-visual nerd there to make sure the video machine was running properly.

        • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com MittBorg

          That's most likely it. I just can't imagine how he could have sat through such BAD attempts at music, never mind the racistness.

  • MilwaukeeKent

    I'm thinking "Knickers! I can say knickers!" sort of sums up the entire CPAC experience.

    Next time, kids, maybe put the lyrics in the video to avoid this sort of reaction. You may have just cost the GOP a percentage point of the black vote when the one gentleman walked out. Just his vote alone. Although the idea of that roomful of pasties rapping along or yelling "Knickers!" as he left the room…well, the mind reels, clutches its chest, takes a prat fall and acts out a long, hammy death scene.

    • CapnFatback

      Actually, the timing was simply serendipity. The guy leaving the room appears to be an employee of the hotel, probably just getting done verifying that the Hardbore Rappers could handle the equipment. The "knickers" line is a lame joke in the "song."

      • MilwaukeeKent

        I wondered about that too, or maybe a journalist or even a Democratic operative getting sound and video bites. I thnk he checked his cell phone on the way out. Maybe he got a text and had to leave. Weird timing any way you view it.

  • AllDatBrass

    Wait a minute, isn't the Tea Party involved in hosting CPAC? And is the Tea Party not a Koch Brothers-funded enterprise? Because if this little extravaganza is the best the Koch Brothers can do, maybe they are less dangerous than previously thought, is what I'm saying.

  • Local_Mojo

    This is, uh, kind of embarrassing — for the species.

  • trubador1

    Okay, I've seen it all now. This world has no more wonders. I'm ready to take my journey, Lord.

  • C_R_Eature

    In the "Snowballs in Hell" category of news, just now Rachel Maddow said that Cal Thomas called her personally today to apologize for yesterday's appalling "retroactive abortion" remark . Apparently he was a gentleman and genuinely sorry.

    Perhaps there's just a little hope out there, after all. Perhaps.

    • chascates

      Isn't Cal Thomas about 90 years old? How could he know who Rachel Maddow is? He's been doing conservative blather since John McCain was in diapers!

    • Dudleydidwrong

      I'm sorry. One swallow doesn't make a professional call girl*. And one Cal Thomas apology for a wrenchingly insulting comment doesn't call for any hope. He's still a zit on the ass of progress.

      *But it does make a nice lover.

      • C_R_Eature

        "Nice People Swallow." = bumper sticker on the helmet of a biker, seen on Rt. 301 on the way to Bike Week at Ocean City, MD.

        True.

        • http://www.southsidejohnny.com/ Jukesgrrl

          I saw a biker in a Pittsburgh diner who had printed on the BACK of his T-shirt, "The bitch fell off."

    • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com MittBorg

      Yeah, I call bullshit. It's because Twitter has been going crazy from the minute he made that fucking remark. These pricks NEVER apologize unless they feel the pinch in their pocket.

      • C_R_Eature

        I do have the weakness of "thinking the best of people's motivations" as my default state. I'm working on it.
        I did slag Cal Thomas pretty unmercifully, in an earlier post. I suppose I'll leave that up.

        • ShaveTheWhales

          Well, it's nice that he apologized to her personally, but IMO, a public insult requires an at-least-equally-public apology, or it's game.

          • C_R_Eature

            Seems to be the general consensus around here, also. That, and the fact that these people have proven themselves very untrustworthy time and again.

        • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com MittBorg

          (Hugs the CRE) It's OK. I have a pretty bad case of Pollyanna_Syndrome myself.

          I just think this "insult, then offer an apology" business started during Reagan's time, and it still really really pisses me off. That old asshole would say the most incredibly racist, sexist things and then laugh it off as a joke and pretend to apologize to those oversensitive Browns, Blacks, and Females who "took it wrong."

          • C_R_Eature

            Why, thanks!

            If Reagan didn't start that ("I'm sorry if you were offended by my remark..") he & his administration sure crafted it into an rt form.
            Yet another reason to hate them.

          • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com MittBorg

            Remember when he made his "little joke" about starting a nuclear war with Russia? Gad, what a hateful asshole!

          • Biff

            We must continue to remember that asshole, because what those other assholes remember about him is a complete fabrication.

  • BigDumbRedDog

    I actually expected Barbara Bush to be a lot worse. Color me impressed!

  • C_R_Eature

    Yeah, go figure. I guess she "penetrated the bubble" of the Wingnutosphere.

  • Biff

    A loss in my sphere, too.

    • Limeylizzie

      Sorry, Biff, she sounds amazing, what a wonderful woman.

      • Biff

        Sad, I just entered into discussions to buy a house back over there, and she's one person I was looking forward to visiting with at the cafe on Saturday mornings. Life sucks sometimes.

        • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com MittBorg

          H-word.

          • Biff

            Hennngh?

          • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com MittBorg

            Hug, you loon.

    • Dudleydidwrong

      Sorry for our loss. She lived a long time and contributed to the betterment of our world via her teaching. I've known too many "quads" who never came close to matching her longevity. May science bring us to the day when such accidents can be healed rather than endured. No snark, I know…

      • Biff

        When I was a young, I drove her around in a Para-Van for a while. Inspirational lady. I also played a bit part in "The Other Side of the Mountain", but they cut me out because my sunglasses weren't "period" enough. Mammoth was a fun place to be young and athletic, for sure!

    • http://www.southsidejohnny.com/ Jukesgrrl

      I remember her from when I was a kid. Sorry to hear that.

  • http://www.southsidejohnny.com/ Jukesgrrl

    I know some homskools in the suburbs of Pittsburgh and the kids are like Amish on Valium.

  • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com MittBorg

    Fuck me. I played it with the sound on.

    It's been wonderful knowing y'all. Just remember, I died hating these fuckers worse than death. BBITNL (Be Back In The Next Life, for those who didn't already know).

  • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com MittBorg

    Oh, yeah. You BASTIDS!!! If not for you, I wouldn't have clicked.

    • flamingpdog

      Aw, now I feel really guilty, MB. I was gonna warn you upthread when you said you were going to listen, but then I got feeling selfish Republiklan, and I said to myself, "Why should I suffer and not MittBorg?"

      • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com MittBorg

        WHO needs their belly scratched witha rake? WHOOOO???

  • http://www.southsidejohnny.com/ Jukesgrrl

    Breitbart thinks he's such an eminence in show business; he should be forced to put that on his website.

  • fuflans

    i had two cats sitting next to me in front of the fire (it's snowing here in chi, kind of) and we were peacefully watching 'revenge' and i clicked on that abortion of an act and my girl cat (torbbie and spikey) did a 180 into the air and ran away.

    my maine coon is less high strung. he merely hissed.

    true story.

  • fuflans

    those are 20 of the most musically challenged people i've ever seen.

  • CheeseNPear

    The world does not contain enough facepalms for this!

  • orygoon

    “KNICKERS! I CAN SAY KNICKERS!!”

    and I can say Wiggers.

    • http://www.southsidejohnny.com/ Jukesgrrl

      What IS the deal with baggers and those powdered wigs? Do the Founders have to be referenced in such a trite and obvious way? Well, I guess they'll never be honored with respect for the Constitution and Bill of Rights as they were actually written, so perhaps this is the best those lame-brains can do.

      • Fukui_sanYesOta

        Oh, not to mention the immense body of letters, original research and so on … and that's just Jefferson. A man so ahead of his time that he posited that finding shells on top of mountains might point to "geological processes not yet understood by science"

        Baggers would fucking hate Jefferson were he alive today.

        • MilwaukeeKent

          And all that scholarship you mention? It would all be so much la-de-da lefty moonbat feel-good let's-all-sing-Kumbayah BS to them. They would have been Tories in the day. That was the conservative position. The founding fathers were radicals, more or less in pace with the French Revolution.

  • ShaveTheWhales

    OT, but this is the weekend, heghhnn? I know not everyone has as high an opinion of Princess Nancy as do I, but I thought this was kind of cute.

    • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com MittBorg

      I love Nance, and I love that clip. He doesn't even like KITTENZ!! Wait till Barb finds out.

    • fuflans

      i tell you what, i appreciate princess nancy's balls.

      and that vid!

    • Fukui_sanYesOta

      Ah, more youtube comments of beauty from the intelligentsia:

      This is a fake person. She used insiderder tradeing, has taken all kind's of graffe money. She doesnt want transpericy, only that if it's a none Demarat. If it's a Demarat then they get a pass. I, hope the Pot Head's in Ca. wake up to the Wicked witch of the West, and vote her out of office and into jail where she belong's.

      • flamingpdog

        Well, there goes my LAST TWO brain cells. Esther, I'm comin' to see you!

  • AddHomonym

    Wave you hands in the air like … you have sciatica?

    • Fukui_sanYesOta

      Party like you have Parkinson's!

      • MilwaukeeKent

        Party like it's 1799
        (with track suits)

      • ThundercatHo

        Was Kasich there?

        • http://www.southsidejohnny.com/ Jukesgrrl

          No, but I think Terry Schiavo was.

  • http://whatisawatthedevolution.blogspot.com imissopus

    Sometimes I think I should get out of the house more. Then I remember that people like this are out there.

    • ShaveTheWhales

      That is a scary thought, huh?

    • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com MittBorg

      And people wonder why I'm a recluse!

  • Negropolis

    Oh, you can totally say "knickers" if you're willing to except the consequences. Better yet, try this whole dog-and-pony show at the Apollo, pleaze. They'll lurve you guys to death.

    • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com MittBorg

      I'm thinkin' they could do this in MY town, and death would be pretty much guaranteed, although the LURVE not so much.

    • Negropolis

      D'oh! Accept not except.

  • Negropolis

    The only thing that could have made this better if they'd have shouted at the end "Happy Black History Month!"

    • poncho_pilot

      "we're the aristocrat landowners! thank you! good night!"

  • Joshua Norton

    Needs moar cowbell.

    • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com MittBorg

      Needs MOAR bashing on their thick heads with heavy objects. Also, too.

    • ShaveTheWhales

      Splendid as cowbell is, there isn't enough in the universe to rescue this piece of lame.

    • Chichikovovich

      Cowbell would work, sure, but I think something heavier and more solid would be better, like a two-by-four or a mace.

    • Biff

      Also, autotune.

    • eatingraoul

      This just screams SNL guest appearance by Will Ferrel.

    • poncho_pilot

      time marches on for whom the cowbell tolls.

  • http://www.flickr.com/photos/30500320@N06/ DerrickWildcat

    I wonder how much they were paid to perform for 20 people.

  • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com MittBorg

    Don't give them ideas, dood.

  • Isyaignert

    Don't quit your day jobs.

  • BearNoLike

    Cracker Pansies Are Crackers

  • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com MittBorg

    Maine Coons are the coolest fucking cats in the world. Nothing fazes them. Or everything, if they're gingers. But yeah, girl cats tend to be, what's the word, "high-strung." I'm not sure what that's about, but think it has to do with the fact that most female felines are pretty good mothers, and although their territory is smaller than the males', they're much more aggressive in terms of defending territory. Neutered males are generally pretty easygoing, and even unneutered males aren't as hissy as the females about little stuff. Weird.

    • fuflans

      right? we usually have 3 or 4 in the house but never more than one girl. our current, kerfuffle, is half tabby / half tortoiseshell and she has serious tortitude.

      and she does NOT like white rap.

      (as he is a shelter cat, we only speculate little cat Z is a maine coon. but he has ALL the characteristics. and he is pure black so nothing fazes him. he follows the orkin man around every month.).

  • http://howtosavetheworld.ca/ BZ1

    Yeah, white guys can rap!!

    • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com MittBorg

      No. No, they cannot.

      • ShaveTheWhales

        Oh, sure they can (some of 'em). E.g., Beasties and Em.

        These guys, not so much.

    • Angry_Marmot

      Gilbert and Sullivan patter songs, yes. Mean-spirited little shitbirds prancing about in a minstrel "coon" show, no.

    • Biff

      I have found every rap piece since "Surfer Joe" to be offensive, no reason for me to think otherwise now.

    • Negropolis

      Yes, yes. And, I'm sure this is good news for John McCain. However, these guys couldn't even rap a Christmas present.

  • SudsMcKenzie

    Weekend stuff folks;

    Please to enjoy Breitbart being restrained by cops while yelling at OWS crowd tonight at CPAC;
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embed

    • http://littlegreenfootballs.com/article/39308_Breitbarts_Fans_Spew_Racism_Call_for_President_Obama_t glamourdammerung

      The fact someone did not punch that belligerent asshole right in the mouth after he screamed and carried on like a lunatic pretty much invalidates all the nonsense he spews about them.

      Also, where is that video of Breitbart that we were promised a while back?

    • Angry_Marmot

      Needz more pepper spray.

      • http://littlegreenfootballs.com/article/39308_Breitbarts_Fans_Spew_Racism_Call_for_President_Obama_t glamourdammerung

        Or some tasering. After all, that is essentially just like touching a nine volt with your tongue.

    • C_R_Eature

      HEY YOU KIDS!!1! STOP RAPING PEOPLE ON MY LAWN!!11!

    • BlueStateLibel

      Holy out-of-control lunatic, what a meltdown.

      • http://littlegreenfootballs.com/article/39308_Breitbarts_Fans_Spew_Racism_Call_for_President_Obama_t glamourdammerung

        I am assuming the bars closing time/local coke dealers running out had something to do with it. Though it is really sad that Little Andy Breitbart appears to be self-medicating and I really hope he someday gets the courage to find the mental help he obviously desperately needs.

    • Urban_Achiever

      ha! BEHAAAAVE YOURSEEEELLFF!!

    • Biff

      Whoa, I thought O'Queef was the video star of that outfit?

    • http://loljazzcatz.blogspot.com/ Chet Kincaid

      What the fuck is that guy's problem? Besides alcoholism?

      • orygoon

        Self-righteousness is always pretty iffy, and when mixed with tons of hate, you not only have problems, you ARE one.

      • http://littlegreenfootballs.com/article/39308_Breitbarts_Fans_Spew_Racism_Call_for_President_Obama_t glamourdammerung

        I would be surprised if just alcohol was involved.

      • HistoriCat

        He needs a bigger closet?

    • http://whatisawatthedevolution.blogspot.com imissopus

      Haven't heard anything from that guy in awhile. Good to see he's about to crack like an egg.

    • flamingpdog

      Nothing that a few words from lovable Dean Wormer couldn't help.

  • schvitzatura

    Bob Roberts Faux Redux Fail.

  • schvitzatura

    Orly Taitz bouffant blonde process job and stylin' Moldovan white dress. Fifth row back.

  • schvitzatura

    Crowder & Loesch bite the weenie. With relish.

  • schvitzatura

    BLAHS! I CAN SAY BLAHS!

  • insidebeltway

    At first, I thought they were Newt impersonators, but his track suit is powder blue.

  • freakishlywrong

    Gives new meaning the term; "Wiggers".

    • finallyhappy

      wouldn't that be WHIG-gers?

    • Radiotherapy

      T-Wiggers.

      • bagofmice

        That is an amazing neologism.

  • ttommyunger

    Don't have to watch this; I've known for years there's nothing more pathetic than watching white-bread whites trying to "get down".

    • Biff

      Oh, but you really must watch this! Geezinslaws kick ass! From 20 years ago…

  • C_R_Eature

    Well, before this thread ends I just can't resist the opportunity to smack these folks around one last time.

    This is how it's done: Trouble Comin' Every Day.

    That was in Nineteen Sixty Six. You Simple, Worthless Sad people, you.
    The End.

    • yyyaz

      Many upfists. Unfortunately, just like the rhinovirus, they will always be around to annoy us.

    • Biff

      Trouble still comin', every day.

  • Tommy1733

    Wonkettes please note the funniest part is around 1:45

  • Jerri

    It has a good beat and you can oppress poor people to it.

  • BlueStateLibel

    OT: The Santorum now says insurance shouldn't cover birth control because birth control is so cheap! "This is having someone pay for it, pay for something that shouldn't even be in an insurance plan anyway because it is not, really an insurable item. This is something that is affordable, available. You don't need insurance for these types of relatively small expenditures." WTF is with this demented man?!

    • ThundercatHo

      The fact that anyone actually cares about what this sphincter has to say just shows how decayed the GOP has gotten.

    • Chichikovovich

      I feel the same way about the tax deduction for donations to the church. A lot of poor and lower middle class people can only afford to drop 20 bucks a week or even less to the collection plate. End of the year, 1100 bucks tops. You don't need a tax deduction for these types of relatively small expenditures.

      • http://littlegreenfootballs.com/article/39308_Breitbarts_Fans_Spew_Racism_Call_for_President_Obama_t glamourdammerung

        I feel the same way about Catholic Church tax exemptions. After all, if they have such serious concerns about having to dominate our secular policies, they can pay their taxes.

    • Biff

      Demented fucks also do not want to insure the expensive shit, either. WTF good is insurance then, fuckweasels?

    • bikerlaureate

      I missed where he said that about erectile dysfunction drugs too. Link?

    • Radiotherapy

      Guillotines are cheap too.

    • Dudleydidwrong

      Maybe his idea of a male birth control device is a piece of Saran wrap and a rubber band.

  • http://wonkette.com/ weej_bain

    As a rap group these guys are toast. And since they are toast, they need moar santorum. They should be just slathered with it.

    • Biff

      Holy fuck!

    • Radiotherapy

      I would think this is going to be a big flop commercially.

  • http://www.gurukalehuru.wordpress.com gurukalehuru

    Hooboy, that was some funny joke there, where they had the black guy walk out and the guy says "Knickers! All I said was knickers!" and it was a big joke about how they have to be politically correct all the time and not say niggers, and everybody in the room got the joke and it got a big laugh, so I don't see what you liberals are getting all stunk up about.

    in fairness, though, it looked to me as if some of the people in that crowd were actually embarrassed.

  • Harry_S_Truman

    We need MOAR updates from CPAC, and we need them now!

  • http://wonkette.com/ Sharkey

    #newellcomeon

  • eatingraoul

    Was waiting on Monte Hall to pop out and offer her one hundred dollars for [fill in the blank]
    what was in that fanny pack.

    • http://www.southsidejohnny.com/ Jukesgrrl

      I was waiting for the gong.

  • http://wonkette.com/ Sharkey

    That was the most fun they've had in 20 years!

    • http://www.southsidejohnny.com/ Jukesgrrl

      Do you think Gramma Fannypack is going to follow them to their rooms?

  • Biff

    My biggest disappointment from CPAC? Not getting to hear Calypso speak. They kept hyping the fact she was going to introduce her shitstain of a husband, but all the audio/video clips I saw or heard didn't begin until newt took the stage. I maintain she is a mute, and it's a real shame her shitstain of a husband isn't, too.

    • sharethegrief

      She doesn't speak but I've seen her catch a fly with her tongue.

  • Callyson

    Did anyone last longer than fifteen seconds?

    • Biff

      Sound off, all the way through.

      • http://www.southsidejohnny.com/ Jukesgrrl

        I watched it all, but mostly because I was bemused at how that sing-song even qualified as rap. Gangsta libel.

    • http://whatisawatthedevolution.blogspot.com imissopus

      Got to :45 before I ran a piano wire through both eardrums.

    • Blueb4sunrise

      The video?

      • AlterNewt

        Damn you.

        • Blueb4sunrise

          Thank you.

    • Radiotherapy

      Whiteus Interruptus.

  • Fare la Volpe

    Helen Keller.

  • CountryClubJihadi

    Ku-Tang Klan

    • Chichikovovich

      Ghostface Whinah and Young Dirty Bastard.

  • C_R_Eature

    Just think of all the other horrible wonderful horrible things that will happen after CPAC this weekend.

  • Biel_ze_Bubba

    America's Got Talent. None of it is here.

  • http://www.southsidejohnny.com/ Jukesgrrl

    They should take that act to the Apollo and see what the blahs think.

  • MissNancyPriss

    I don't…I mean….I cant…. no…I mean I don't wanna….I can't think….it can't be…

  • Radiotherapy

    Here's another great breakout session for you lonely conservative Wonkateers.

    • ThundercatHo

      The commentors could be Wonketteers. Wish I could've seen if the guy had white shoes that matched his belt cuz that would really "create desire".

    • Biff

      I'd rather be alone the rest of my days, which is probably likely, anyway.

  • marionetta

    One of the minstrel blahppers was Chris Loesch, husband of CNN pundit Dana Loesch.

    Classy.

    • http://littlegreenfootballs.com/article/39308_Breitbarts_Fans_Spew_Racism_Call_for_President_Obama_t glamourdammerung

      I am somehow sure that she would not give folks "a million cool points" for pissing on her husband's corpse, even if he is just a whiter, Christian, more cowardly version of the Taliban nuts.

    • http://www.southsidejohnny.com/ Jukesgrrl

      Fer reelz???

  • proudgrampa

    What in the holy fuck is going on out there?

  • snoopyfan2010

    Some are gifted, some are not.

    • Chichikovovich

      And they complain, and complain, and complain, and complain and complain.

  • ElPinche

    Knickers, please. The honkeys need to be put of their misery for being so damn cheesy, racist, and unfunny.

  • ProgressiveInga

    Watching $arah speak at CPAC in her wig and at her shrilliest.

    Someone kill me.

  • chascates

    Jim, how about a CPAC update on Sarah Bear?????

    • C_R_Eature

      I caught the tail end on CSPAN. She's looking pretty rough now, but she's still got that Ol' Charisma.

    • LetUsBray

      http://www.politicususa.com/en/sarah-palin-cpac

      I'm not so good at the HTML thing, but according to politicususa, she's still pretty bitter about getting her rill Amurkin butt kicked in 2008.

  • LetUsBray

    Meanwhile, Willard Romney is winning the Maine caucus by about 200 votes, leading the librul media as represented the yahoos at yahoo to gush that his "Mitt-mentum" has returned.

    • BarackMyWorld

      What's the fucking deal with all these non-binding primaries and caucuses, anyways? Damn.

  • Biff
    • http://littlegreenfootballs.com/article/39308_Breitbarts_Fans_Spew_Racism_Call_for_President_Obama_t glamourdammerung

      And the best that the "inevitable" guy could do was get within 3% of Ron Paul.

      That is hilarious.

  • Biff

    In other, other news… Beautiful voice, silenced by drugs, most likely.

    • BarackMyWorld

      Houston, you had a problem.

      I'm noticing my black friends are way more upset about this than my white friends.

      If someone posts on facebook "Whitney Houston died," then someone hits "Like", doesn't that mean they like that fact that she's dead?
      Because that's cold.

      • LetUsBray

        I'm whiter than mayonnaise on wonder bread. I'm also 46 years old. And when I read about someone dying at age 48, never mind why, well, I don't like that at all.

      • Biff

        I always loved her voice, but I wish she'd used her talent on R&B instead of pop. Fuckin' drugs, man…

  • http://www.wonkette.com Dr_pangloss

    Most of the time it just sounds like teenage boys wacking each other off to the soundtrack of 1776: Or Rick "a frothy mix" Santorums childhood.

  • Warpde

    Well, Cons have fucked up pretty much everything else….why not Rap?

  • Nopantsmcgee

    Why can't they just stick to polkas?

  • PhilippePetain

    No matter the age of the winger – they could be twenty – they sound like this when they imitate rap. "du du-da DUH du-da DUH"…it's like they heard the Sugar Hill Gang ONCE upon induction into their little clique and have handed down their imitation of those noises as secrets to every successive generation.

  • BearNoLike

    I'll take ear-rape for $100, Alex.

  • Negropolis

    Truly, an abomination before the lord.

    I smell burnt toast…

  • Negropolis

    Speaking of burnt toast, I had this really strange metallic taste in my mouth all of this afternoon that is has just now subsided. That can't be good, can it? lol