Founders Rise From The Dead To Discuss Our Failure, At CPAC

 
 Did your Wonkette visit this thing, at CPAC, called "Founder Roundtable: Where Did We Go Wrong?" featuring Thomas Jefferson, James Madison, Benjamin Franklin, Alexander Hamilton, "Tom" Paine, and Patrick Henry? UMM MAYBE. Look at them all there, behind their old-timey projector. When we left, the debate was still about whether the Constitution was one big old dumb mistake. "It was the human beings that destroyed it," some Founder said. And that's what he said todefendthe Constitution! What a shitty country.

And here is the Citizens United Theatre Room, in which we watched some porno about Ronald Reagan, hosted by Newt and Callista Gingrich. We're usually ashamed of our horrendous photography but this depiction of Cally as a indiscernible blinding white monster sort of... works.

Speaking of Newt, he is going to light his farts on fire onstage at 4: 10 sharp, so turn on the teevee and keep an old sock nearby.