important hypotheticals

What Happens If Moon Nazis Invade When Sarah Palin Is President?

What the hell is this? It is the video promo for Sarah Palin’s CPAC keynote on Saturday, guessing from the killer alien Nazis from space come to destroy humanity, as punishment. Oh hey now, isn’t the invasion of a secret troupe of moon Hitlers supposed to be Mitt Romney’s special fever dream?

“Shit, this just keeps getting better and better,” says Sarah of the moon Nazi invasion. Secretary of State Bristol Palin agrees. [YouTube]

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    1. Catabite

      Hell yes. This is the same group that made Star Wreck, right? It looks like their CGI's gotten a lot better.

    1. Lascauxcaveman

      "I always envisioned Bristol as head of the FDA. "

      Think about it: you put Brisdull in charge of the food and drugs, there wouldn't be any left for anyone else.

    1. Angry_Marmot

      Thus illustrating the ambivalent feelings of many regarding fascist uniforms and/or Sarah Palin lookalikes.

    1. Loaded_Pants

      I have pondered this idea of what aliens would conclude if they had been watching us all this time & had studied our culture(s). Seriously, I think the parts that they wouldn't laugh at would actually terrify them into never trying to invade.
      In other words they'd be thinking: "You think we'd have a chance? Look at how they treat each other! Humans found a way to split the atom simply to kill other members of their own species!"

  1. johnnyzhivago

    Ha – I happen to know some of the people behind this movie! Trust me, the Sarah Palin character will be an even bigger arse than in real life….

    BTW, this comes mostly from socialist paradise Finland who's biggest export in Angry Birds. Actually this is a crowdsourced movie in many ways – but you had to be an EU citizen to actually invest in it for some reason.

    Nevertheless, some really cool folks behind this – I wish it well!

    1. OzoneTom

      Yeah, "Star Wreck: In the Pirkinning" was amazing for a movie turned out by a bunch of guys in an apartment with their friends.

      And don't even get me started on Tiina Routamaa…

    2. emmelemm

      Yeah, I've been hearing about this movie for a while. Looking forward to it!

      Finns be crazy.

      /part Finnish

    3. MightySix

      Honest to God joke from 1940:
      Q: Why did Stalin fire all his airplane designers?
      A: There was a fin on very tail!
      If I have to explain it, I will…

    4. johnnyzhivago

      Finns are awesome, I was lucky to spend a lot of time there and meet a lot of people who remain friends to this day. One time I was taken on a train ride to a car rally – lots of drinking on the way up – and then there (was that a car that went past???) – and then on the way back. Anyway we are in the bar car and the Finns are all singing. I ask my host what the song is and he says "oh, just an old folk song, something like – we welcome you Russians to our country and when you are not looking we will slit your throats and eat your intestines"

      Emmmm…. Ok…. !!!

    5. Generation[redacted]

      Am I correct that Finland was the only European country to save its Jews from the Nazis? Or was that Denmark?

    6. Negropolis

      Finland has this very balancing-on-the-edge-of-Blade-Runner look to it. I mostly know about the country from Conan O'Brein's trip, there, and from Little Finland being up here in Michigan's UP, eh?

  2. Crank_Tango

    Well I was promised anal with Bristol if I would buy a copy of her fucking book, that's all I know and care about.

  3. Lionel[redacted]Esq

    Assuming, like most invading aliens, they feed off brains, I say we send them Santorum along with Palin, so that they starve to death.

        1. Lascauxcaveman

          No, my buddy had his boat moored at the floating community and mini marina between the Montlake bridge and Madison Park. I remember midnight Hibachi parties and swims off his boat in Lake Washington – as late as November. The Duck Dodge was just a big party, and we never finished anywhere near the top. His boat was a slightly larger version of this, and plenty slow. He made it himself while attending the Port Townsend School of Boat building. The chicks dug it. I got to be the token guitar player, and our specialty was taking the girls for a nighttime sail and making up ribald sea chanties, there in the middle of a lake, in the middle of the city, in the middle of the night.

          So, when I talk about my wasted youth, yeah, I'm actually being facetious.

  4. JackObin

    I'm certain this is what Jefferson and Madison envisioned. But then of course, they were libruls, who are Communists, you know.

      1. SorosBot

        Nah you can be my running mate. Just think, you'd be the first woman to run for VP who is actually attractive!

    1. HistoriCat

      Ooh – can I be press secretary? Only I demand a strict "tell it like it is" provision in my contract.

        1. Loaded_Pants

          Can I be Secretary of DHS (Dept. of Homoland Sercurity)? *jumps up & down" oh please, please, please?!

  5. jus_wonderin

    Hell, I can't even watch a faux Sarah depiction where she appears competent. My brain hurts. And I like sci-fi.

  6. ProgressiveInga

    My money's on the nazi moon people in a squirmish with $arah Palin. She'll quit before the first blitzkrieg.

  7. Rotundo_

    Plan 9 from Outer Space will shortly be joined in infamy. Did anyone on set yell "T'row me da visky and let's shoot dis fokker"? This might, like Plan 9 be worth watching for yucks. I wonder if a Glen or Glenda? remake is coming soon?

        1. Lionel[redacted]Esq

          But, in fairness, he has never let that get in the way of the funny….,

          Which might make him along with the PJ O'Rourke the only "funny" Conservatives that can claim that.

  8. owhatever

    The moon nazis were quiet until Newt started all that 51st state talk. May be best foreign film of the year.

    1. C_R_Eature

      I'm really glad someone's clever tonight. My brain's still too much in shock from seeing this.

  9. ifthethunderdontgetya

    M-O-O-N, another chance to plug my latest script!

    CSI: Moonbase Alpha

    On the last episode, Moon Elf Queen Calista ordered the palace detective squad to investigate Emperor Pig Newton's ability to continue to deliver Tiffany diamonds.

    Meanwhile Emperor Newton confirmed that he will continue the struggle against the Reptiloid forces of Lord Rmoney from the Galaxy Circinus.

    And Moonbassador Palin demanded an increase in her budget for "Space Nazi Defense, and stuff".

  10. fuflans

    way to go 'blind spot pictures'. just when she was rapidly descending the ash pit of history, you go and give her ego an unwarranted boost.

      1. UnionAgitator

        Yes, I suppose it would.

        My knowledge of how sexually active albeit asexual royals are to be referred to is woefully substandard.

        Thanks for setting me straight.

    1. Data Exactly

      Yes there will be. In one scene somewhere in the middle, the Moon Nazis are succeeding. President Palin is down on her luck and crying. Then, suddenly, the White House plumbing department manager comes and gives her a rousing victory speech. This fails to improve her attitude on winning, so he takes his plunger and sticks it in her face. This snaps her out of it, and she gets back to a teleconference with her generals, then the plumber drives off in a van.

    1. jus_wonderin

      It must be pointed out that that is a stereotype. Only the Little Greys have probes. Now, I don't think we want to discuss what the other aliens bring.

      Granted, the Little Greys do have large probes. Which is terrifying, or fun, depending on your perspective.

      1. Flat_Earther

        The little Greys must frequent the Southern U.S. Most of the alien encounters there involve trailer dwellers who have been annually probed often by a being who has taken the shape of a family member.

        Thanks for the information.

      1. Flat_Earther

        Oh, you’re right. It is off to the closet (water or otherwise; real or metaphorical) to assume the wide stance…

        Is that Santorum on the seat?

    1. C_R_Eature

      "Cis, and Decease!"

      I do think a Sex Ray would help move the story along. At least it's got a Zeppelin-Phallus.

  11. Callyson

    It is the video promo for Sarah Palin’s CPAC keynote on Sunday
    Impossible–the Palin character here is much more intelligent than the Palin character IRL…

  12. DahBoner

    We never should have smoked that weed and got the munchies and ate that giant marshmallow-baby Moonbase Gingrich

  13. Generation[redacted]

    And if your head asplodes with dark movie previews,
    I'll see you on the Dark Side of the Moon.

      1. Lascauxcaveman

        He's good. Even better in short story form. One of my fave collections is River of Time which you should get, if you don't have it already.

  14. MosesInvests

    If the Moon Nazis invade, which side will the USMC Scout Snipers fight on? (See Mother Jones for explanation.)

  15. V572 Flambé

    I totally believed it until "The battle for Earth is gonna get Nazi." Everyone knows Germans have no sense of humor, and that even if they did, they wouldn't stoop to abominable puns like that one.

  16. Dashboard Buddha

    If I didn't know this was a comedy, I'd say this was a cross between Mars Needs Women and Castle Wolfenstein.

  17. ttommyunger

    Not only do I find the lead in this tale fuckable, her glasses make me want to fuck her and then talk with her for a couple of hours afterward. Odd, that.

  18. BaldarTFlagass

    If we are stupid enough to elect Sarah Palin president, then we deserve whatever punishment the Moon Nazis see fit to dole out to us.

    Will you guys hate me if I become a collaborator?

  19. BaldarTFlagass

    I notice that the Moon Nazis waited until the Schvartze was out of office before attacking.

  20. BigDumbRedDog

    Fucking moon. I knew there was a reason I don't trust it. I'm not just paranoid like the doctors said!!!!!1!!

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