important hypotheticals

What Happens If Moon Nazis Invade When Sarah Palin Is President?

Add to Flipboard Magazine.

What the hell is this? It is the video promo for Sarah Palin’s CPAC keynote on Saturday, guessing from the killer alien Nazis from space come to destroy humanity, as punishment. Oh hey now, isn’t the invasion of a secret troupe of moon Hitlers supposed to be Mitt Romney’s special fever dream?

“Shit, this just keeps getting better and better,” says Sarah of the moon Nazi invasion. Secretary of State Bristol Palin agrees. [YouTube]

Comments

Hey there, Wonkeputians! Shypixel here to remind you to remember our Commenting Rules For Radicals, Enjoy!

  • nounverb911

    Just yodel and their heads will explode.

    • Thurman Munster IV

      Ack ack ack ack ack ack

  • General_Sherman

    I've been looking forward to this for years.

    • Catabite

      Hell yes. This is the same group that made Star Wreck, right? It looks like their CGI's gotten a lot better.

  • MarcelleMarceau

    Where is my tinfoil hat, damnit?

    • http://wonkette.com/ starfanglednut

      I know. I misplace mine all the time. I must have put it out with the recycling.

  • nounverb911

    "Secretary of State Bristol Palin"
    I always envisioned Bristol as head of the FDA.

    • iburl

      Freakin' Dumb Asses?

    • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com MittBorg

      Frighteningly Dull Assholes?

    • http://simplyleftbehind.blogspot.com/ actor212

      Foil & Dye Afros?

    • elviouslyqueer

      Fucking Die Already?

    • SorosBot

      And Willow, as a beautician, will be the Brazilian ambassador.

      • Generation[redacted]

        special envoy to Analwaxistan.

        • bagofmice

          The bleachingista?

    • Lascauxcaveman

      "I always envisioned Bristol as head of the FDA. "

      Think about it: you put Brisdull in charge of the food and drugs, there wouldn't be any left for anyone else.

    • C_R_Eature

      Centers for Disease Control.

      Or not.

    • http://wonkette.com/ starfanglednut

      UDSA is more like it.

    • Loaded_Pants

      Or ambassador to Wasillastan.

  • BigDumbRedDog

    If moon nazis invade my town I will take them too my leader.

    • jus_wonderin

      Also.

    • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com MittBorg

      As someone once remarked to Schubert …

    • NYNYNYjr

      I'll take them to my leder…hosen. Good first impressions are important with invaders.

  • littlebigdaddy

    Actually, this was Ronald Reagan's dream. Too much Alzheimers and Jelly Bellies.

  • elviouslyqueer

    Um, fap?

    • Angry_Marmot

      Thus illustrating the ambivalent feelings of many regarding fascist uniforms and/or Sarah Palin lookalikes.

  • nounverb911

    Do you know who else led an invasion of a secret troupe of moon Hitlers?

    • iburl

      Newt?

    • GOPCrusher

      H. G. Wells?

    • http://simplyleftbehind.blogspot.com/ actor212

      Andy Williams?

      o/~ Mooon Hitler….whiter than a Heil….o/~

    • Geminisunmars

      Mel Brooks?

      • StarsUponThars

        Springtime for Hitler on Mercury …

    • Radiotherapy

      Charles Lindbergh?

    • Angry_Marmot

      The bad guys in Rocket Ship Galileo?

    • Generation[redacted]

      Pink Floyd? (Roger Waters era)?

    • KeepFnThatChicken

      Crow T. Robot?

    • http://whateveritisimagainstit.blogspot.com trampndirtdown

      REM?

    • reliefsinn

      Moon Unit Zappa?

  • BigDumbRedDog

    This looks WAY better than "Left Behind VII: A New Beginning"

    • nounverb911

      Is that the one they made after they found Spock?

    • http://wonkette.com smokefilledroommate

      Left Behind VII: A Brand New Behind

      • Swampgas_Man

        New Moon

    • GOPCrusher

      NEEDZ MOAR CGI!

      • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com MittBorg

        Needs MOAR hard drugs.

        • http://wonkette.com/ starfanglednut

          Or at least some serious paint huffing.

      • Loaded_Pants

        NEEDZ MORE ASSPLOSIONS & BOOMS! ALSO ROBOTS!

    • elviouslyqueer

      This looks WAY better than "Left Behind VII: A New Beginning Jesus Comes Again"

      Fixed.

      • yyyaz

        When Jesus comes, does he shout his own name?

        • ShaveTheWhales

          "Oh, Dad!! Oh, Dad!!!"

  • http://wonkette.com smokefilledroommate

    Ironsky has ties to Alinsky.

  • http://simplyleftbehind.blogspot.com/ actor212

    THEY HAVE WATCHED OUR PLANET

    THEY HAVE STUDIED OUR CULTURE.

    THEY HAVE LAUGHED THEIR ASSES OFF

    • Guppy

      THEY SAID "SCREW THIS, WE'RE MOVING TO MARS"

      • bagofmice

        GET YOUR ASS TO MARS!

        • Guppy

          MARS, BITCHES!

    • Loaded_Pants

      I have pondered this idea of what aliens would conclude if they had been watching us all this time & had studied our culture(s). Seriously, I think the parts that they wouldn't laugh at would actually terrify them into never trying to invade.
      In other words they'd be thinking: "You think we'd have a chance? Look at how they treat each other! Humans found a way to split the atom simply to kill other members of their own species!"

  • chascates

    She can see Mercury from her house.

    • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com MittBorg

      Is she taking her temperature rectally *again*?

    • forgracie

      She can see Uranus from her house.

      • Dashboard Buddha

        No she can't. I'm sitting down.

        • Loaded_Pants

          That's why I always wear underwear.

  • http://simplyleftbehind.blogspot.com/ actor212

    You know who else invaded us from the moon?

    Wait…what?

    • Lionel[redacted]Esq

      Hitler?

    • Swampgas_Man

      The She-Werewolves of the S.S.?

    • valgal2342

      Moon bats?

    • Loaded_Pants

      That traitor Buzz Aldrin?

    • Negropolis

      South Korean mega-preachers?

  • fuflans

    we gone be doin one thin and one thin only: killin nazis!

    sound GOOOD!?!?!?

    • http://loljazzcatz.blogspot.com/ Chet Kincaid

      No, this looks a lot more mature than Tarantino.

    • Loaded_Pants

      I must say that I thought Pitt nailed that accent.

  • http://johnnyzhivago.blogspot.com johnnyzhivago

    Ha – I happen to know some of the people behind this movie! Trust me, the Sarah Palin character will be an even bigger arse than in real life….

    BTW, this comes mostly from socialist paradise Finland who's biggest export in Angry Birds. Actually this is a crowdsourced movie in many ways – but you had to be an EU citizen to actually invest in it for some reason.

    Nevertheless, some really cool folks behind this – I wish it well!

    • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com MittBorg

      I'm sorry, Johnny, that's just not possible.

    • OzoneTom

      Yeah, "Star Wreck: In the Pirkinning" was amazing for a movie turned out by a bunch of guys in an apartment with their friends.

      And don't even get me started on Tiina Routamaa…

    • emmelemm

      Yeah, I've been hearing about this movie for a while. Looking forward to it!

      Finns be crazy.

      /part Finnish

    • MightySix

      Honest to God joke from 1940:
      Q: Why did Stalin fire all his airplane designers?
      A: There was a fin on very tail!
      If I have to explain it, I will…

      • Angry_Marmot

        On Nordic Blonde: A Finnish Tail

    • http://johnnyzhivago.blogspot.com johnnyzhivago

      Finns are awesome, I was lucky to spend a lot of time there and meet a lot of people who remain friends to this day. One time I was taken on a train ride to a car rally – lots of drinking on the way up – and then there (was that a car that went past???) – and then on the way back. Anyway we are in the bar car and the Finns are all singing. I ask my host what the song is and he says "oh, just an old folk song, something like – we welcome you Russians to our country and when you are not looking we will slit your throats and eat your intestines"

      Emmmm…. Ok…. !!!

      • emmelemm

        The Winter War, betw. Finland and Russia during WWII, was fucking brutal. And the Russians lost.

    • Generation[redacted]

      Am I correct that Finland was the only European country to save its Jews from the Nazis? Or was that Denmark?

      • http://johnnyzhivago.blogspot.com johnnyzhivago

        Finland saved it's Jews from the Nazis so they could kill them themselves.

    • Negropolis

      Finland has this very balancing-on-the-edge-of-Blade-Runner look to it. I mostly know about the country from Conan O'Brein's trip, there, and from Little Finland being up here in Michigan's UP, eh?

  • Crank_Tango

    Well I was promised anal with Bristol if I would buy a copy of her fucking book, that's all I know and care about.

    • jus_wonderin

      Why do I hear a banjo? No, wait. Two banjos!!

      • Loaded_Pants

        I thinks they may be duelin', too.

    • ttommyunger

      Be sure and make her wear a condom, Crank.

      • Crank_Tango

        She said I wouldn't get pregnant, and she knows all about that kinda stuff.

        • ttommyunger

          Well, experience is the best teacher; but the tuition is so dang high!

    • http://wonkette.com/ starfanglednut

      Dude, ewwww.

  • Joshua Norton

    Sarah Palin’s CPAC keynote on Sunday,

    The far right obviously has a punishment fetish.

    • Nostrildamus

      Sarah Palin: GOP cilice

    • Loaded_Pants

      I hope they stocked up on Kleenex for all the ear-bleeding.

  • Lionel[redacted]Esq

    Nailin' Palin: The Final Frontier?

    • http://intensedebate.com/people/mrblifil mrblifil

      Nailin' Palin Meets Downfall: Journey to the Crater of the Bottom

    • Loaded_Pants

      Nailin' Bristol Palin: The Next Degeneration.

  • http://simplyleftbehind.blogspot.com/ actor212

    Hey! Palin's wardrobe got an upgrade! And WE paid for it!

  • Lionel[redacted]Esq

    Assuming, like most invading aliens, they feed off brains, I say we send them Santorum along with Palin, so that they starve to death.

  • Blueb4sunrise

    needz moar Duck Dodgers

    • Lascauxcaveman

      Ah, Tuesday nights on Lake Union. I miss that.

      • bagofmice

        At gasworks?

        • Lascauxcaveman

          No, my buddy had his boat moored at the floating community and mini marina between the Montlake bridge and Madison Park. I remember midnight Hibachi parties and swims off his boat in Lake Washington – as late as November. The Duck Dodge was just a big party, and we never finished anywhere near the top. His boat was a slightly larger version of this, and plenty slow. He made it himself while attending the Port Townsend School of Boat building. The chicks dug it. I got to be the token guitar player, and our specialty was taking the girls for a nighttime sail and making up ribald sea chanties, there in the middle of a lake, in the middle of the city, in the middle of the night.

          So, when I talk about my wasted youth, yeah, I'm actually being facetious.

  • edgydrifter

    Space Nazis or Palins–which ones am I supposed to be rooting for?

    • Lionel[redacted]Esq

      Go with the Space Nazis. They can probably communicate in English.

    • http://wonkette.com Chillwillard

      I find it hard to believe that they would actually fight on opposite sides.

      • Angry_Marmot

        "Gosh darn it, those fascist family values just make so much common sense."

  • JackObin

    I'm certain this is what Jefferson and Madison envisioned. But then of course, they were libruls, who are Communists, you know.

  • SorosBot

    Please; at this point I have a better shot at being President in 2018 than Palin.

    • MissTaken

      SorosBot/Moon Nazi 2018!

      • SorosBot

        Nah you can be my running mate. Just think, you'd be the first woman to run for VP who is actually attractive!

        • MissTaken

          Yay! When you deliver the SOTU I can throw paper airplanes at your head!

          • Generation[redacted]

            And for the first time in my life I will be truly proud of my country.

    • HistoriCat

      Ooh – can I be press secretary? Only I demand a strict "tell it like it is" provision in my contract.

      • SorosBot

        Sure, why not? In fact my entire cabinet will be you fellow Wonkette commenters.

        • http://wonkette.com/ starfanglednut

          Hilarity ensues

          And drinking. And buttsecks.

          • Lionel[redacted]Esq

            I could be Secretary of the Interior, if you know what I mean.

        • Loaded_Pants

          Can I be Secretary of DHS (Dept. of Homoland Sercurity)? *jumps up & down" oh please, please, please?!

        • BigDumbRedDog

          Ooh ooh, dibs on secretary of beer and roller coasters!

        • lulzmonger

          Dibs on Secretary Of Altered States!

    • Angry_Marmot

      Hell, you've got my vote.

  • jus_wonderin

    Hell, I can't even watch a faux Sarah depiction where she appears competent. My brain hurts. And I like sci-fi.

  • GuanoFaucet

    I hate Moon Nazis.

    • Radiotherapy

      Moon Nazi's…Fuck Offf!!!

      • Lionel[redacted]Esq

        Take the Moon Nazi's bowling, take them bowling!

        • Radiotherapy

          Milkmen are dead, no, they really are, but Cracker PAC lives on!

  • ProgressiveInga

    My money's on the nazi moon people in a squirmish with $arah Palin. She'll quit before the first blitzkrieg.

    • Geminisunmars

      She'll quit before the first halb blitzkrieg.

  • Rotundo_

    Plan 9 from Outer Space will shortly be joined in infamy. Did anyone on set yell "T'row me da visky and let's shoot dis fokker"? This might, like Plan 9 be worth watching for yucks. I wonder if a Glen or Glenda? remake is coming soon?

    • Lascauxcaveman

      I Wood not think so.

    • Angry_Marmot

      Pull the string!

  • chascates

    I call for Joel and the bots to do the commentary on this movie.

    • MightySix

      C'mon, for this thing, Mike could do just as well.

      • chascates

        Hell, maybe even just Pearl!

      • BarackMyWorld

        Mike is kind of a rightwinger…

        • Lionel[redacted]Esq

          But, in fairness, he has never let that get in the way of the funny….,

          Which might make him along with the PJ O'Rourke the only "funny" Conservatives that can claim that.

    • http://loljazzcatz.blogspot.com/ Chet Kincaid

      That feature appears to be pre-baked.

  • owhatever

    The moon nazis were quiet until Newt started all that 51st state talk. May be best foreign film of the year.

  • neiltheblaze

    Oh good – another movie to ignore.

  • Radiotherapy

    Oh My God Win!

    • emmelemm

      Will no one say, "I see what you did there" to you? Fine, I will. But it took me a minute.

    • C_R_Eature

      Awesome.
      I'm really glad someone's clever tonight. My brain's still too much in shock from seeing this.

  • Trannysurprise

    If Lou Sarah is President in 2018, is it wrong for me to root for the Nazi's?

  • http://ifthethunderdontgetya.blogspot.com/ ifthethunderdontgetya

    M-O-O-N, another chance to plug my latest script!

    CSI: Moonbase Alpha

    On the last episode, Moon Elf Queen Calista ordered the palace detective squad to investigate Emperor Pig Newton's ability to continue to deliver Tiffany diamonds.

    Meanwhile Emperor Newton confirmed that he will continue the struggle against the Reptiloid forces of Lord Rmoney from the Galaxy Circinus.

    And Moonbassador Palin demanded an increase in her budget for "Space Nazi Defense, and stuff".
    ~

  • MissTaken

    ♫ When the moon hits your eye
    Like a big-a Nazi spy
    That's Amore! ♫

    • prommie

      Eep, opp, ork, ah ah, that means I love you.

      • jus_wonderin

        R2, is that you???

      • prommie

        Thats a classic by Jet Screamer; Judy Jetson won a date with him.

    • Angry_Marmot

      ♫ When the Newt's moonstruck fools
      Buy Callista a jewel
      That's a Whore-ey ♫

  • nounverb911

    Does this mean that John Galt has come out of hiding to save us?

  • http://wonkette.com Chillwillard

    Fucking Michael Bay really outdid himself with this one. My favorite part is the Pauldenburg blimp going down in flames @ 1:43.

    • Angry_Marmot

      That's what Megan Fox thought, and where is she now?

  • mavenmaven

    Bristol is going to sign on to whatever reality show our new masters submit.

  • fuflans

    way to go 'blind spot pictures'. just when she was rapidly descending the ash pit of history, you go and give her ego an unwarranted boost.

  • http://lovematters-manabouttown.blogspot.com/ UnionAgitator

    This looks like the best movie ever made.

    And here I thought the biggest news of the day was that the Duchess of Windsor was a blow-job queen. http://abcnews.go.com/Health/wallis-simpson-inter

    • nounverb911

      Better than "Atlas Shrugged part 2"?

      • http://lovematters-manabouttown.blogspot.com/ UnionAgitator

        Hell yes!!!!!!!

        It's even better than Left Behind IV.

    • Angry_Marmot

      Oh, like that's news…

      • http://lovematters-manabouttown.blogspot.com/ UnionAgitator

        It was news to me.

        Unfortunately I found out long after she died so it's not news I can use.

        Ghoulish Senator Frothy might be up for a hook-up with her.

    • montreal_bruin

      Umm, wouldn't that be "blow-job duchess?'

      • http://lovematters-manabouttown.blogspot.com/ UnionAgitator

        Yes, I suppose it would.

        My knowledge of how sexually active albeit asexual royals are to be referred to is woefully substandard.

        Thanks for setting me straight.

        • montreal_bruin

          I think it's all in "Burke's Peerage," in the all-new Blowjobs Appendix.

    • Negropolis

      Ah, yes, the Duchess of Lowball & Cornhole.

  • Lucidamente1

    Will there be a special cameo by Joe the Plumber?

    • Data Exactly

      Yes there will be. In one scene somewhere in the middle, the Moon Nazis are succeeding. President Palin is down on her luck and crying. Then, suddenly, the White House plumbing department manager comes and gives her a rousing victory speech. This fails to improve her attitude on winning, so he takes his plunger and sticks it in her face. This snaps her out of it, and she gets back to a teleconference with her generals, then the plumber drives off in a van.

      • Generation[redacted]

        Who was that ass-crack pants man?

    • BigDumbRedDog

      He'll be cleaning Palin's pipes. Wait, this movie is a porno, right?

  • elviouslyqueer

    Critics agree! It's pants-shittingly shitty!

  • Flat_Earther

    Will they bring anal probes? Don’t aliens always bring anal probes?

    • jus_wonderin

      It must be pointed out that that is a stereotype. Only the Little Greys have probes. Now, I don't think we want to discuss what the other aliens bring.

      Granted, the Little Greys do have large probes. Which is terrifying, or fun, depending on your perspective.

      • Flat_Earther

        The little Greys must frequent the Southern U.S. Most of the alien encounters there involve trailer dwellers who have been annually probed often by a being who has taken the shape of a family member.

        Thanks for the information.

    • Generation[redacted]

      This is CPAC. The anal probes are already among us.

      • Flat_Earther

        Oh, you’re right. It is off to the closet (water or otherwise; real or metaphorical) to assume the wide stance…

        Is that Santorum on the seat?

    • MinAgain

      They're going to be pretty busy, considering the number of assholes that will be present.

      • Flat_Earther

        Do you think more catchers than pitchers…?

  • jus_wonderin

    Geez, the Moon really is a harsh mistress.

  • freakishlywrong

    Oh for fuck's sake. (this will be a cut and paste comment this weekend-Nov 2).

    • http://wonkette.com/ starfanglednut

      I love that comment. We should definitely keep it on retainer.

  • SayItWithWookies

    So if Newt wants to go to the moon, that probably makes him Neville Chamberlain.

  • http://loljazzcatz.blogspot.com/ Chet Kincaid

    Needs moar Flesh Gordon.

    • C_R_Eature

      "Cis, and Decease!"

      I do think a Sex Ray would help move the story along. At least it's got a Zeppelin-Phallus.

  • bumfug

    Dude, if Sarah Palin became president I'd PRAY for fuckin' Moon Nazis.

  • http://www.facebook.com/pages/Johnny-Appletruth/133951326629923?sk=wall deanbooth

    "I have had it with these motherfucking Nazis on the motherfucking moon!"

  • Beowoof

    Will they take her home and deprive us of her leadership?

    • jus_wonderin

      Giving her fake respect long enough to fool them could, could kill us.

  • Callyson

    It is the video promo for Sarah Palin’s CPAC keynote on Sunday
    Impossible–the Palin character here is much more intelligent than the Palin character IRL…

  • MinAgain

    What? They couldn't have sprung for 3D?

  • DahBoner

    We never should have smoked that weed and got the munchies and ate that giant marshmallow-baby Moonbase Gingrich

  • Bonghits4Jesus

    That's why Newt is 2 Ballchins ahead of Sarah Failin'. We must colonize the moon first!

  • Generation[redacted]

    And if your head asplodes with dark movie previews,
    I'll see you on the Dark Side of the Moon.

  • Lascauxcaveman

    Sci-Fi writer David Brin (kinda) saw this one coming. Only he got the pantheon of Norse Gods involved, too.

    • deelzebub

      I'll have to read that one. I love Brin; Earth is one of my top five favorite books.

      • Lascauxcaveman

        He's good. Even better in short story form. One of my fave collections is River of Time which you should get, if you don't have it already.

  • http://howtosavetheworld.ca/ BZ1

    Geez, Saturday Night Live promos are getting better, that was Tina Fey wasn't it?

  • http://intensedebate.com/people/mrblifil mrblifil

    You know who else…oh fuck it.

  • http://dismalpseudoscientist.wordpress.com Negligently_Joe

    You know, in any scenario where Americans elected Sarah Palin president for life, I'm pretty sure I might end up rooting for the Moon Nazis.

  • MosesInvests

    If the Moon Nazis invade, which side will the USMC Scout Snipers fight on? (See Mother Jones for explanation.)

  • Monsieur_Grumpe

    For some reason I find myself cheering for the Nazi.

  • V572 Flambé

    I totally believed it until "The battle for Earth is gonna get Nazi." Everyone knows Germans have no sense of humor, and that even if they did, they wouldn't stoop to abominable puns like that one.

    • bagofmice

      But we will. There is no bottom to our abonimable puns. Except for the asses making them.

      • BaldarTFlagass

        That's a no-shitter. Just read the lightbulb thread.

  • elburritodeluxe

    Somebody found Philip K. Dick's stash!!

  • Dashboard Buddha

    If I didn't know this was a comedy, I'd say this was a cross between Mars Needs Women and Castle Wolfenstein.

  • C_R_Eature

    Just how in hell am I supposed to Godwin this?

  • WhatTheHeck

    Moon Nazis are people too and as such deserve one term under Palin.

  • ttommyunger

    Not only do I find the lead in this tale fuckable, her glasses make me want to fuck her and then talk with her for a couple of hours afterward. Odd, that.

  • BaldarTFlagass

    If we are stupid enough to elect Sarah Palin president, then we deserve whatever punishment the Moon Nazis see fit to dole out to us.

    Will you guys hate me if I become a collaborator?

    • Monsieur_Grumpe

      Yes.

      • BaldarTFlagass

        I meant, with the Nazis.

  • BaldarTFlagass

    Needz moar Tina Fey.

  • BaldarTFlagass

    I notice that the Moon Nazis waited until the Schvartze was out of office before attacking.

  • http://wonkette.com/ Sharkey

    Just think what might be hiding on the dark side of Mercury.

  • Negropolis

    Ummm…WTF?!

    BTW, this would be so much better with Britney Spears casted as the president.

  • Negropolis

    One of these days, Sarah…one of these days…Bang! Zoom! Right to da' Moon!

  • BigDumbRedDog

    Fucking moon. I knew there was a reason I don't trust it. I'm not just paranoid like the doctors said!!!!!1!!

  • lulzmonger

    Arbeit Mach 5!

  • ShaveTheWhales

    Fucken Werewolves of Luna.

  • Monsieur_Grumpe

    Is this the sequel to Surf Nazis Must Die? http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q8LV1S2q2GA

  • http://evilbloggerlady.blogspot.com EBL

    This looks like fun! Weeeeeee