According to the RNC’s Twitter droppings, handouts and giveaways are actually Patriotic, so long as they are given to wall-eyed fetus fetishists at CPAC and not the 670 million poors currently bankrupting the Federal treasury. Jim Newell, please enjoy your courtesy racist Barack Obama USB dongle! [RNC]
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Is the racist Barack Obama USB dongle longer than the average dongle?
Somebody always has a hand up the asses of the GOP sock puppets. They like it. So of course they are for handouts for themselves.
But do they have handjobs?
No, but they would be happy to give them.
Hm; no I don't think there's anyone from the RNC I'd want that from.
No HJINOs!
Actually, they do have handjobs. Check DC Craigslist for which booth to go to, after lights out.
Tax breaks for hand-job creators!
Handjobs come from handjob creators, not the government!
Surely, the best handjobs are the ones doled out by the freemarket, and for Republicans, the blahmarket.
Handouts, give-aways and more. And the more is
Moar hate for handouts and give-aways and Obama's black ass-ness.
But niggers don't go to CPAC
(Please don't beat me up. My bestest friend is black and jewish….I'm snarking here)
You're friends with Sammy Davis Junior?
Marc once said to me being 1/2 black and 1/2 Jewish sucks because the only idol of his race/religion is Sammy. He hated the rat pack because of Sammy.
But he still loves the Hanukwanzaaakha season, right?
Or maybe he's friends with Rashida Jones or Maya Rudolph; mmm both are delicious.
One of my favorite Maya Rudolph lines comes from Away We Go, when her (white) mother-in-laws asks about how black her unborn baby is going to be. Maya answers, "I don't know. Maybe we can leave her out in the sun for a couple of days to expedite things."
Or "entertainer" Aubrey "Drake" Graham!
Naw, he's dead, as is Nell Carter. But Yaphet Kotto, on the other hand . . .
Could be Lenny Kravitz….yummy.
Let's not forget David Cross.
Thought he was blue.
As long as he is not also Republican, it's alright.
From the mouth of Archie Bunker, speaking to Sammy Davis Jr:
GOP handouts = crumbs. Thank you m'lord.
I hate those Obama dongles. Much too big to fit in my pocket.
Mine broke off in the USB socket.
Is that an Obama dongle in your pocket or are you just happy to see me?
"Handouts and giveaways" is a typo – the copy should actually read "hand-jobs and reach-arounds"; these are available behind the CPAC Log Cabin Booth, following a brief "check-up" with Dr. Marcus.
Does this mean a Wonketter is brave enough to follow #CPAC or is just following the RNC?
This is why Newell came back in from the cold.
The twits at the RNC have a twitter account, ironic much?
"And you get a tax cut. And you get a tax cut."
Everyone knows that handouts by the GOP are not handouts – they are incentives for job creators. It's all in the marketing.
"We have handouts, giveaways, and more!"
I'm frightened of what the "more" entails.
Check out the Larry Craig Memorial Bathroom Stall.
For the right donation amount, you can do whatever you want to the orifice in Dick Cheney's chest that is normally occupied by his electronic pig heart.
Can you say "Chris Christie Wet T-shirt Contest?"
Cuz if you can without engaging in the dry heaves, you're made of sterner stuff than I.
Still frightened.
Herpes.
"Wash your hands of the poor" hand sanitizer
"2nd Amendment solution" gun cleaner
"Blood libel" maxi pads
"Great White Hope" toilet bowl bleach
Moonbase Newt
DollsAction Figures!Guns and religion window clings!
Whitest. Twitter. Page. EVER.
Where's my aborted fetus porn?
In a jar?
Check Mrs Santorum's "Old Boyfriends" scrapbook
I would stay away from the K Y Jelly booth but that's just me.
It's twoo. It's twoo.
Screw the handouts. I want an all-expenses-paid evening at the tit bar watching lesbian spank fests.
And that is what got Michael Steele exiled to MSNBC, where he is the resident tame GOPer. Good times! You won't find Reinzt Phoebus or whatever the fuck his name is bankrolling any expeditions like that, or at least not with the RNC AmEx.
Its Rence Prebus – easy just remove all the vowels and remember the mnemonic RNC PRBS or Republican National Committee Public Relations Bull Shit. Rick Santorum would approve of such a vowel movement.
You're gonna need a bigger tote.
If by tote you mean tumbrel, OK.
Attendees of CPAC are obviously rich, so in that case handouts and giveaways are just fine. It's basic Republican philosophy: To whom much is given, much more shall be given.
I'm sure there will be plenty of Naked Pregnant Lady golf tees and Whites Only golf balls.
Let's hear it for the fob creators!
The promise of such tchotchkes is bound to command more traffic than the Breitbart Kissing Booth.
tchotckes?! What are you; some kind of Marxist? We call that shit "Freedom SWAG" over in these parts, ya' hear?
Haha, the handouts are for them — they want you to come visit, see them playing with their eminent-domained land, their tax breaks, their subsidized weapons systems and bridges to nowhere and be inspired to be as job-creationy as they are. You can thank them later.
I'm looking for a I ♥ White People lanyard so when you find one can you grab it for me? Thanks!
They don't have any lanyards, but the do have nooses.
"We have handouts, giveaways, and more!"
But, only if you're white!!!!
Hopefully they will be giving out those miniature Leatherman tools to cut taxes with.
One Monopoly Man will be handing out bags of cash that say "Bank Error Always in Your Favor-Collect One Trillion Dollars!" The other is Moonopoly Man, and he gives you a crater on his moon and his Tiffany's credit card bill. Guess who is more popular?
My USB socket got wrecked by an Obama dongle. Way too much RAM.
Is that handouts or reach-arounds?
We have handouts, giveaways and more!
Looks like Wall Street's pitch to hire former regulatory officials. Or is it regulatory officials' pitch to potential future Wall Street employers?
Katie knows…
Any Planned Parenthood literature in the goody bags? Raffle for a free abortion? A Koran signed by Jesus? An ill eagle? A lap dance by a young stud in your hotel room? And guns, guns, guns. The manna flows.
Is a reacharound a hand out or a hand up?
After the Palin Clan descends, you can kiss all that sweet swag goodbye.
Handouts, or is that code for handjobs?
They would have to be handing out water glasses full of Hundreds to get my wrinkled narrow ass anywhere within earshot of any of those douchenozzles.
CPAC: Crazy Punks, Assholes & Cunts…
They probably mean hand jobs.
Did they check to see if the handouts/ giveaways were made in China? I know that's where the Army, Navy and Marines get theirs. They hand out free mouse pads made in China on our high school campus! delightful!
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