HEROES  11:00 am February 9, 2012

Mississippi Legislator Proposes Gulf of Mexico Be Renamed Gulf of America

by Liz Colville

where eagles soar...before inhaling noxious fumes and falling dead into an oily water-ish liquid

Steve Holland, Democratic Representative of Mississippi, has embraced the latest trend of taunting the powers that be with a bill proposing renaming the Gulf of Mexico the Gulf of America! H.B. 150 was introduced to Mississippi’s Marine Resources Committee this week, and it contains real words about why this is potentially actually happening (knowing Mississippi, which is a beacon of change). Fittingly, Holland doesn’t even mention the Gulf of Mexico BY NAME in ANY part of this bill, which is a mere 12 lines long. He, turning his head away in feigned disgust as he typed the words, trying hard to hold back his lunch, calls it “the body of water that is located directly south of Hancock, Harrison and Jackson Counties.”

The bill amounts to:

For all official purposes within the State of Mississippi, the body of water that is located directly south of Hancock, Harrison and Jackson Counties shall be known as the “Gulf of America.”

Now, Stephen Colbert proposed after the BP oil spill that no one would want the gulf anymore and we should at least rename it; “We break it, we buy it.” But the fear, loathing, bigotry, racism, isolationism, imperialism and OILism that this bill invokes might, frighteningly, sound like a GOOD IDEA to a hefty swath of America, just like Rick Santorum and his wackadoodle followers probably did not get and LOVED Senator Constance Johnson’s whole “sacred sperm” thing from a mere two days ago!

The bill proposes that the new name, which sadly would only be official in this one state (but there’s hope that Holland’s pioneering message will spread across the nation), will come into effect on July 1, 2012, i.e. right before Independence Day. Which is of course a celebration of being set free to do unto others as our dead and former king did unto us!

Update! Steve Holland is thrilled that his story has spread so far and wide, but also hopes that everyone gets that it’s a joke. Initially, hardly anyone in the media did, including us, because we are all apparently deep, deep cynics. [Best of New Orleans/ThinkProgress]

 
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{ 220 comments }

nounverb911 February 9, 2012 at 11:04 am

Just rename it after Holland: The Gulf of Stupidity.

Sue4466 February 9, 2012 at 11:23 am

But unlike the real Gulf, Holland's Gulf of Stupidity seems to have no bottom.

actor212 February 9, 2012 at 11:32 am

Other proposed name changes: Natchez, Mississippi to Snotchos, Mississippi

yrbmegr February 9, 2012 at 12:38 pm

I think "Gulf of Christ" is still available.

unclejeems February 9, 2012 at 1:09 pm

Nah, there's no gulf of stupidity in Mississippi. Stupidity is their main product.

Spurning Beer February 9, 2012 at 1:19 pm

It is only appropriate to rename the bill's sponsor Representative America.

Holland is an un-American canal-hell full of wooden-shod tulip-huggers.

YasserArraFeck February 9, 2012 at 1:56 pm

Since "Loozyanna" and "Misss'ipuh" form "The Taint of America", maybe the body of water located beneath it should be called The Toilet Bowl (BP and Halliburton have been doing their best to crap in it also, too)

V572 Flambé February 9, 2012 at 11:04 am

Look out, Hudson's Bay! You're next! And really…"Pacific" Ocean? Gimme a break.

mrpuma2u February 9, 2012 at 11:19 am

Hey, it's like Stephen Colbert said LAST YEAR on his show, "We broke it, we bought it." Doofus prolly stole the idea from the Colbert report and is now trying to pass it off as his own.

memzilla February 9, 2012 at 11:04 am

Wayddaminnit, this guy's name is Steve Holland?

YURRUPEEN SOCIALIZM ALERT!

CZL February 9, 2012 at 11:22 am

A pot-smoking, hooker-patronizing, monument to Jews and gays-having Yurropeen no less!

actor212 February 9, 2012 at 11:38 am

Yea! Where's that Amend-A-Bill legislator chick? She could offer an amendment changing his name to something more American like "Bag-o-dicks"…

sewollef February 9, 2012 at 1:13 pm

Actually, I hear he already changed his name….. from the less snappy Steve The Netherlands.

meatlofer February 9, 2012 at 11:05 am

Your move, Bay of Pigs.

DaRooster February 9, 2012 at 11:28 am

Hey… Bay Of Americans

Spurning Beer February 9, 2012 at 1:20 pm

Six of one,…

flamingpdog February 9, 2012 at 11:36 am

Bay of Republican Presidential Candidates.

WhatTheHeck February 9, 2012 at 12:10 pm

Bay of American Folly.

Geminisunmars February 9, 2012 at 1:40 pm

Bay of Gingrich

doloras February 9, 2012 at 5:08 pm

That's wherever Newt goes swimming, right?

BklynIlluminati February 9, 2012 at 11:05 am

Gulf of AMERICUH FUCK YEAAH!

Harry_S_Truman February 9, 2012 at 11:05 am

No way! It should be renamed the Gulf of Reagan.*

(*Pursuant to the Everything New and Everything Re-Named Gets Named after Reagan Act.)

Veritas78 February 9, 2012 at 11:13 am

Because it's so shallow?

Cicada February 9, 2012 at 11:18 am

You would think so, but it's actually because the Gulf illegally sold arms to Iran.

SorosBot February 9, 2012 at 11:29 am

I propose we rename taking a shit to "Reaganing".

Harry_S_Truman February 9, 2012 at 1:54 pm

Or:

"Excuse me, but I have to go take a Reagan."

GOPCrusher February 9, 2012 at 12:52 pm

Because the top is black and greasy?

horsedreamer_1 February 9, 2012 at 6:55 pm

Grecian Libel!

nounverb911 February 9, 2012 at 11:05 am

Holland does realize that America is named after an Italian.

proudgrampa February 9, 2012 at 11:15 am

Probably not.

"God Bless Vespucciland!"

paris biltong February 9, 2012 at 11:19 am

Not only that: it is also a FEMINIZED version of Amerigo Vespucci's first name. Faggots.

GregComlish February 9, 2012 at 12:25 pm

so that's why the statue of liberty has an adam's apple

flamingpdog February 9, 2012 at 2:35 pm

Ann Coulter is French??

sewollef February 9, 2012 at 1:16 pm

What if Henry Hudson had been first to park here? United States of Henry anyone?

arihaya February 9, 2012 at 1:36 pm

actually not that far fetched you see

King Charles I -> Carolinas
King George -> Georgia
Queen Mary -> Maryland

flamingpdog February 9, 2012 at 2:38 pm

King James -> Dumbfuckistan

snoopyfan2010 February 9, 2012 at 12:44 pm

That doesn't matter because they also descended from the Caucus mountains. It is only those of dark hues that may not have land named after them.

arihaya February 9, 2012 at 1:35 pm

THANK GODDDD Amerigo's last name was not Santorum !!!!

actor212 February 9, 2012 at 11:06 am

Clearly, this will confuse any Messicans who try to swim over from Cuba.

ifthethunderdontgetya February 9, 2012 at 11:07 am

Did Holland get British Petroleum's permission?
~

MissTaken February 9, 2012 at 11:07 am

We have the Russian River here in California because we're pinko commies.

BaldarTFlagass February 9, 2012 at 11:12 am

We knew that.

memzilla February 9, 2012 at 11:18 am

Not to mention the People's Republic of Berkeley.

MissTaken February 9, 2012 at 11:20 am

We prefer the term Baghdad By The Bay.

memzilla February 9, 2012 at 11:28 am

PRoB has a better logo, however.

flamingpdog February 9, 2012 at 11:22 am

People's Republic of Boulder LIBEL!!1!

Harry_S_Truman February 9, 2012 at 11:25 am

People's Republic of Ann Arbor libel!!1!ONE!

actor212 February 9, 2012 at 11:40 am

Conch Republic Libel, FTW!!!!!

So Tired February 9, 2012 at 11:20 am

And wackadoodles, don't forget that.

paris biltong February 9, 2012 at 11:22 am

Not to mention the fact that Ashville, NC, sits on the French Broad, who doesn't seem to mind.

Sue4466 February 9, 2012 at 11:24 am

I believe whackadoos is the correct term for Californians today.

actor212 February 9, 2012 at 11:26 am

True fact: It was spelled "Rushin' River" until Reagan changed the name

SorosBot February 9, 2012 at 11:27 am

Then why did you give us Richard Nixon and Ronald Reagan?

MissTaken February 9, 2012 at 11:31 am

Because we actually hate America and try to sabotage it at every turn. Bwa ha ha!

SorosBot February 9, 2012 at 11:41 am

You dirty filthy commie, I think you need a spanking!

MissTaken February 9, 2012 at 12:14 pm

You're right, I do!

Biff February 9, 2012 at 12:09 pm

REAGAN WAS NOT A CALIFORNIAN!

GOPCrusher February 9, 2012 at 12:55 pm

Neither was Arnold Schwarzenegger, but now you're stuck with them.

Biff February 9, 2012 at 1:18 pm

Not me, not now, anyway. I moved to Nevada when I wasn't able to convince enough other Californios to vote against the Darrell Issa-bankrolled recall of Governor Davis. I know, I know, out of the frying pan into the fire, but at least I'm poised on the border to move back when it becomes politically or financially advantageous for me to do so. And it's looking better all the time!

orygoon February 9, 2012 at 11:29 am

But you have an Amerrrkin River too, you true-blue patriots.

ShaveTheWhales February 9, 2012 at 2:38 pm

And at least three "Putah Creek"s.

flamingpdog February 9, 2012 at 11:34 am

Isn't "California" a Messican name?

KeepFnThatChicken February 9, 2012 at 11:07 am

Please let Mississippi and Alabama fight over naming rights, with guns.

Gratuitous World February 9, 2012 at 11:07 am

"America?" Yes it's patriotic but still sounds a little Spanish. I propose "Gulf of NASCAR, brought to you by Chevron." or something to that effect…

memzilla February 9, 2012 at 11:10 am

Charging corporate behemoths a metric s**tload of annual fees, to rename geographic features in their name? Hmmm… tell me more…

FNMA February 9, 2012 at 11:28 am

Gulf of American brought to you by Carl's Jr. "Fuck you! I'm eating!"

Cannolele February 9, 2012 at 11:08 am

Vespucciland, Vespucciland, God shed his grace on thee!

memzilla February 9, 2012 at 11:08 am

Let's just call it the Gulf of Petroleum, for teh truth in advertising-ness.

IncenseDebate February 9, 2012 at 11:09 am

I propose renaming Mississippi the sweaty armpit of America.

nounverb911 February 9, 2012 at 11:11 am

What do we rename Florida?

memzilla February 9, 2012 at 11:12 am

South Armpit of America.

KeepFnThatChicken February 9, 2012 at 11:13 am

Dickomerica.

Harry_S_Truman February 9, 2012 at 11:15 am

American Limpdickistan.

ifthethunderdontgetya February 9, 2012 at 11:18 am

America's Flaccid Wang, sponsored by Cialis™.
~

Geminisunmars February 9, 2012 at 11:21 am

Soggydong of Amerrrica.

BaldarTFlagass February 9, 2012 at 11:15 am

Gulf-related but a little further west, if they had to give the world an enema, they would stick the tube right in the Port Arthur-Beaumont-Houston triangle.

Biff February 9, 2012 at 12:15 pm

Janis Joplin would agree.

sewollef February 9, 2012 at 1:25 pm

Janis would probably blow them, whether they were handsome or not.

And keep the limo waiting….

Negropolis February 10, 2012 at 1:51 am

They better drive that tube all the way to Shreveport than Biloxi. Good gawd does that state have some lousy-ass cities save one.

actor212 February 9, 2012 at 11:28 am

Why not just call all the old Confederate states "Wal-Mart" and be done with it?

We can add in Texas and Arizona. Call 'em New Wal-Mart

Not_So_Much February 9, 2012 at 11:31 am

Murka's Taint?

actor212 February 9, 2012 at 11:35 am

The great state of Santorum in convention proudly casts its delegate votes for….

slithytoves February 9, 2012 at 11:10 am

And Canada should be renamed "North America." Wait…

SorosBot February 9, 2012 at 11:10 am

Clearly a single US state should have the power to rename an international body of water on its own; clearly.

actor212 February 9, 2012 at 11:36 am

Commonwealth Libel!

iburl February 9, 2012 at 1:50 pm

STATES' RIGHTS!

weej_bain February 9, 2012 at 11:10 am

The Kleagle Sea? A Mississippi tradition.

memzilla February 9, 2012 at 11:13 am

Are you referring to the Great State of Kluxiana?

actor212 February 9, 2012 at 11:28 am

Or the vaginal exercises?

BaldarTFlagass February 9, 2012 at 12:11 pm

Does this mean we have to call all Mexicans "Americans" from now on?

CapnFatback February 9, 2012 at 11:49 am

As long as they stay on that side of the line.

Joshua Norton February 9, 2012 at 11:11 am

So in reality, what he's calling it is the Gulf of Amerigo Vespucci. Look it up, already.

CZL February 9, 2012 at 11:24 am

Was he with Jesus when Jesus discovered America for white people?

Veritas78 February 9, 2012 at 11:12 am

They really don't have anything to do, do they? I guess life must be pretty good all around if this is the most pressing need.

JustPixelz February 9, 2012 at 11:34 am

Next up: "Be it enacted that Eddie Stanwood shall be officially known as Mississippi Employee of the Month for his outstanding work in greeting legislators at the reception desk each morning."

yrbmegr February 9, 2012 at 12:42 pm

It's a Republican government. So, it does what?

That's right.

GOPCrusher February 9, 2012 at 12:58 pm

Well, they don't have issues with education, dentistry, or family planning that they have to worry about.

SayItWithWookies February 9, 2012 at 11:12 am

How about the Gulf of Common Sense, since that's what shit like this constantly reminds me of.

Ruhe February 9, 2012 at 11:12 am

"… this body of water which shall not be named …"

So let's call it the Gulf of Queers. That might help with tourism…no?

KeepFnThatChicken February 9, 2012 at 11:14 am

As long as they do their free-handed proctology exams in their taxed hotel rooms, and not on the beach, I'm sure Holland doesn't care.

Preferred Customer February 9, 2012 at 11:13 am

Mister Dipshit realizes that "America" is not the actual name of the country in which he resides, right? No, he probably doesn't.

We could rename it "Gulf of the United States," which would work fine as long as no one remembers that the actual name of the country of Mexico also contains the words "United States."

snoopyfan2010 February 9, 2012 at 12:48 pm

Preferred, thanks for getting your geek out for everyone to see. That is the most common mistake made by Los Americanos.

BigDumbRedDog February 9, 2012 at 11:13 am

Atlantic ocean = East American Ocean
Pacific ocean = West American Ocean
Indian ocean = Native American Ocean
Also, I reside in Amerington State, not to be confused with Amerington D.C.

Geminisunmars February 9, 2012 at 11:29 am

Greetings from the great state of Americado (two states east of Americada and just north of New America). I was born in the costal state of Guacamole but resettled to Americado in the 70s.

Guppy February 9, 2012 at 12:15 pm

You forgot the Palin Ocean up north.

BaldarTFlagass February 9, 2012 at 11:13 am

Wait till this guy finds out that "America" is named after a pasta-swilling wop guido.

ETA: Amazing how many posts can be posted twixt the crouch and the leap.

FNMA February 9, 2012 at 11:31 am

Please, we prefer "garlic-loving dago greaseballs."

Harry_S_Truman February 9, 2012 at 11:14 am

And what about the Caribbean Sea? Shouldn't that be called the American Bean Sea?

Chet Kincaid February 9, 2012 at 2:22 pm

That made me giggle.

CountryClubJihadi February 9, 2012 at 11:14 am

Gulf of Texaco, maybe.

paris biltong February 9, 2012 at 11:14 am

Mississippi should change it's own name to Missus Wee-wee, which is what it means in Native Murkin.

Mumbletypeg February 9, 2012 at 11:14 am

Someone on the bottom of the stack here, you or maybe you — please let out a big chipotle-flavored/ refried-bean-gargled *BUUUURGP!* to send this Yertle-monster's oversized ego hurtling from its too-high perch of preciousness atop us lesser (saner) turtles.

DemmeFatale February 9, 2012 at 11:15 am

He's a DEMOCRAT!!??
(Hangs head in shame.)

BaldarTFlagass February 9, 2012 at 11:19 am

They've got a really low bar in Mississippi.

elviouslyqueer February 9, 2012 at 11:23 am

No. Shit.

comptoneffect February 9, 2012 at 11:26 am

Is he a real Democrat or is this another example of a Fox News labeling "error"?

Respitetini February 9, 2012 at 11:58 am

Just because they're wearing a "D" on their uniform doesn't mean they're the good guy. And in this case, it doesn't even mean the "slightly less repugnant guy".

justincasetoo February 9, 2012 at 10:49 pm

He's a SOUTHERN Democrat….a testament to Republican confusion……

soeoho February 9, 2012 at 11:17 am

Who makes this stuff up?

slowhansolo February 9, 2012 at 11:18 am

This is important work. He should be paid more, and face fewer demands on his time.

proudgrampa February 9, 2012 at 11:18 am

It is telling that, with everything else wrong in the world today, he picks this one. Wonder what he sees as the next biggest issue?

James Michael Curley February 9, 2012 at 11:18 am

“the body of water that is located directly south of Hancock, Harrison and Jackson Counties.”
He wants us to clean up after our dog?

BaldarTFlagass February 9, 2012 at 11:20 am

If he really wanted to get the tourists flocking, he should propose that they rename it the Gulf of Biloxi Casinos.

Goonemeritus February 9, 2012 at 11:22 am

When I lived in Canada I asked what Canadians called American cheese, I was informed it was called crap cheese. Similarly I doubt any new national branding will work here retaliation will inevitably arise when all Mexican maps relabel the USA as North Mexico.

GregComlish February 9, 2012 at 1:16 pm

When I was in Montreal I tried to get some "Canadian Bacon" and I was told to fuck off

ManchuCandidate February 9, 2012 at 11:22 am

Based on the "abundance" of marine life thanks to BP Horizon then I would think if the name wasn't already taken then Billy Jim Bob should have called it the Dead Sea.

tribbzthesquidz February 9, 2012 at 11:23 am

He's celebrating White History Month.

Not_So_Much February 9, 2012 at 11:29 am

More like 'White Trash History Month'.

Radiotherapy February 9, 2012 at 11:25 am

The Reagan Sea?

MissTaken February 9, 2012 at 11:28 am

A local douchebag tried to rename our Mt. Diablo after Reagan. It failed miserably, just like Reagan.
http://blog.sfgate.com/scavenger/2010/01/28/the-b

SorosBot February 9, 2012 at 11:46 am

Facepalm. That's an even worse idea than changing the Tampa Bay Devil Rays to just the Rays. Religious nuts are stupid.

Biff February 9, 2012 at 12:46 pm

Oh for fuck's sake. Although Clayton and certain neighborhoods of Concord are definitely reaganite strongholds…

MissTaken February 9, 2012 at 1:02 pm

I'm very glad it failed because spending my mornings waiting for BART looking at Ronald Reagan's tip would be all kinds of wrong.

elviouslyqueer February 9, 2012 at 11:25 am

Your move, Susana Martinez.

Joshua Norton February 9, 2012 at 11:25 am

And french fries should be called American fries. Let's trot that one out a few more times.

ShaveTheWhales February 9, 2012 at 2:44 pm

But then what do you call American fries?

horsedreamer_1 February 9, 2012 at 6:58 pm

Hash?

justincasetoo February 9, 2012 at 10:57 pm

Not to mention the fact that Missipians can't be messing around with Chevrolets any more (very French) or even Chevron (French again). And they'd have to find a different word for Alkali (very, very Islamist), not to mention pajamas, bazaar, and so on……until they finally come to the question of whether can use numerals at all (damn Islamists again)!

flamingpdog February 9, 2012 at 11:26 am

After this bill passes, he's going to introduce a bill to build the Holland Tunnel between Mississippi and Americuba.

UnholyMoses February 9, 2012 at 11:28 am

Dear Mr. Holland

You apparently didn't get the message that the racist Dixiecrats became Republicans after the Civil Rights Act.

We request that you please change your party affiliation accordingly.

Sincerely,

Actual liberals

P.S. After you're done with that, please eat a bag of salted rat dicks.

ba1811 February 10, 2012 at 11:26 am

I believe Mr. Holland is engaging in the literary technique known as satire

Not_So_Much February 9, 2012 at 11:28 am

Seems complicated. Why don't we just name it 'Steve'?

soeoho February 9, 2012 at 11:34 am

Good stuff there. Simple…..Gooood!

chicken_thief February 9, 2012 at 11:48 am

And rename the Caribbean "Adam"?

elviouslyqueer February 9, 2012 at 11:54 am

Catchy, yes. But it really should renamed "Sphincter," if nothing else but for newscaster lulz. To wit: "Today's massive oil spill threatened to release millions of gallons of crude into the Sphincter." "We're tracking a massive category 5 hurricane moving northward through the Sphincter before making landfall in Gulfport."

prommie February 9, 2012 at 11:29 am

They're only going to have to change it again, to "The Gulf of Reagania", if Mitt gets elected. Of course, if Santorum gets elected, it will be "The Gulf of Jesusland and Fetuses."

EatsBabyDingos February 9, 2012 at 11:29 am

Sell the naming rights: "Mississippi's Toilet, Brought to you by The American Standard"

bureaucrap February 9, 2012 at 11:30 am

And the state of "New Mexico" would be "New America"?

In the immortal words of Homer Simpson's writers: "You mean there's a NEW Mexico?"

Harry_S_Truman February 9, 2012 at 12:01 pm

Is that anywhere near Old Europe?

not that Dewey February 9, 2012 at 1:19 pm

I'm down. It's better than either "Little West Texas" or "the place where the weatherman's ass is"

Blueb4sunrise February 9, 2012 at 11:30 am

Sea of Cortez BEEEEEATCHES!!!!!!

Guppy February 9, 2012 at 12:17 pm

(Wrong gulf)

Blueb4sunrise February 9, 2012 at 2:38 pm

also known as
Gulf of California. See that was the relevance.

old_phineas February 9, 2012 at 11:30 am

Why do they do this crap??? Are freedom fries going to be the official seafood of the Gulf of America? If this passes, can we force Mississippi to secede again, maybe taking Alabama and South Carolina with them?

DaRooster February 9, 2012 at 11:30 am

That way we can blame them Mexicans for the oil spill and we will have a clean record in our gulf.

BaldarTFlagass February 9, 2012 at 11:31 am

That's some weird scale on that map. There's no way that I-10 from Houston to San Antonio is that bendy. And Florida hasn't been that skinny in years. Gerardus Mercator is spinning in his grave.

SorosBot February 9, 2012 at 11:31 am

Wait until someone tells him there's a new Mexico too.

ThundercatHo February 9, 2012 at 11:31 am

How about the Gulf of Ignorant, Toofless Pigfuckers?

Rosie_Scenario February 9, 2012 at 11:32 am

Like Homer Simpson, we should refer to Canada as "America, Junior." Perhaps under a Gingrich Administration that will come to pass. The question is: First or second term?

old_phineas February 9, 2012 at 11:34 am

No, No, No. Gingrich is going to be Moon President, and rename the Moon, "New Americearth"

MosesInvests February 9, 2012 at 11:34 am

OK, OK, let's calm down here. According to one of his constituents, Mr. Holland's Opus is most likely snark. Sorta like Constance Johnson's anti-money-shot amendment.

MosesInvests February 9, 2012 at 11:41 am

Unfortunately, Holland seems to have run afoul of Poe's Law.

old_phineas February 9, 2012 at 11:43 am

That would be awesome if it's true. A Mississippi legislator who actively seeds Wonkette articles.

BaldarTFlagass February 9, 2012 at 11:35 am

For truth in advertising, take a walk on any Gulf beach; they should rename it "Gulf of Tampon Applicators, Six-Pack Rings, Tarballs, and Portuguese Man-o'-War."

old_phineas February 9, 2012 at 11:45 am

Portuguese Man-o'-War should be renamed "American awfully painful Jellyfish".

That'd show those Brazilians AND their stupid wax!

Biff February 9, 2012 at 11:38 am

Mr. Holland's Opus.

Mumbletypeg February 9, 2012 at 11:38 am

Has anyone alerted Billy O' Reilly of this fanatical-fallacy yet? In case he's still feeling like holding things up to the harsh light of scrutiny, for logic-holes and self-absolving exceptionalisms. I'm no different than Bill when it comes to cleaning house — or perhaps just my tote bag. Easy enough to ignore the baggage as it mingles with garbage, wrappers, orange peels, old receipts — which get confused w/ things that are actually worthwhile to have handy. Then after so long willfully overlooking the dreck comes the day you stick in your thumb and pull out a plumb-dumb stray-something that doesn't belong — and suddenly Bill wants to upturn the whole bag and shake its contents and go, "See? "See!"
Yeah, this misbalanced, misbegotten effort of Holland's is one of those times but O'Reilly probably has tired of remaking his image for one day & is back to lighting his farts on fire, etc.

barto February 9, 2012 at 11:39 am

Mr., uh, Holland, is it? Hmmm. Somebody call ICE.

JustPixelz February 9, 2012 at 11:40 am

The new textbooks may trip up any college-bound* Mississippi when they take the SATs.
_______________________
* should that occur

easytheresport February 9, 2012 at 11:45 am

Uh, ok. We'll call the Gulf of Mexico "Gulf of America", and you call civil unions "marriages". Deal?

ingloriousbytch February 9, 2012 at 12:02 pm

I'm renaming Mississippi "Redneckistan."

ttommyunger February 9, 2012 at 2:14 pm

Dumbfukistan

Negropolis February 10, 2012 at 1:59 am

I say we keep it close and go with Mississippistan. Either that, or just plain "Taint".

jamesbaldwin10 February 9, 2012 at 12:11 pm

Yes… and let's rename Canada… America's Top Hat while we're at it.

Guppy February 9, 2012 at 12:13 pm

"will come into effect on July 1, 2012"

a/k/a Canada Day

In other news, the Persian Gulf will now be referred to as "Freedom Gulf."

WhatTheHeck February 9, 2012 at 12:14 pm

goddamn it. Lets take the French out of Grand Tetons and rename those mountains “America’s Big Tits.”

fuflans February 9, 2012 at 12:15 pm

ameri-ass.

fuflans February 9, 2012 at 12:21 pm

does this mean we get pirates? i would be totally cool with pirates.

GOPCrusher February 9, 2012 at 1:05 pm

Pittsburgh would disagree with you.

hagajim February 9, 2012 at 12:23 pm

Whaaaaat? The Mexicans have illegally immigrated a body of water to 'Merika! The nerve of those bastards! I think we ought to rename it the Gulf of Tonkin, that was about as big a fail as this dipshits bill.

GhostBuggy February 9, 2012 at 12:29 pm

This is all well and good, but how do I get this girlfriend your website is offering me?

donner_froh February 9, 2012 at 12:31 pm

He is re-naming it after a Spaniard–must have been bribed with a big bag of gold Amerigos.

Dashboard Buddha February 9, 2012 at 12:45 pm

I have the Gulf of Maine right down the street from me. Suck it Canadian Maritimes, Masschusettes, and New Hampshire.

Biff February 9, 2012 at 12:52 pm

I always think of this whenever Mississippi is mentioned, though she was never on duty when I've crossed into that backwards, backwoods state.
NSFW, duh.

snoopyfan2010 February 9, 2012 at 12:54 pm

This is why the natives didn't want us to stay.

sewollef February 9, 2012 at 1:08 pm

I'm assuming here that Mr Holland and the Mississippi legislature has absolutely NOTHING else on its plate right now. No other pressing matters of just the slightest import?

So what the hey….! Why not. Me thinks this smacks of money well spent!

One question though. What if New Mexico wants to change its name to something more Merikan?

ProgBelle February 9, 2012 at 3:29 pm

Oh, they have plenty to do…right now they're trying to pass that Personhood stuff that we said NO to in November.

I debate with myself daily whether to stick it out in my homestate and change things, or if I should give up and move.

unclejeems February 9, 2012 at 1:12 pm

For an encore, Holland will want to change the name Jackson, MS to New Amsterdam, dig canals and make everybody ride bicycles.

Negropolis February 10, 2012 at 2:01 am

They were with you 'til you brought up the bicycles. That's just too damned socialist.

LiveToServeYa February 9, 2012 at 1:19 pm

Well, duh. It's easier than renaming the country 'United States of Gulf'.

HeadsIWin February 9, 2012 at 1:26 pm

Mr. Holland,
Oh, piss
off.

owhatever February 9, 2012 at 1:28 pm

Leave dem swimps alone, boy.

Come here a minute February 9, 2012 at 1:30 pm

This bill might make sense if it was proposed by Rep. Steve AMERICA (R-Fuck Yeah!).

iburl February 9, 2012 at 1:51 pm

Rename Misissippi (stupid indians) to Missineducation.

YasserArraFeck February 9, 2012 at 1:52 pm

There's already a Gulf of America – it's the yawning gap between the 1% and the rest of us.

ttommyunger February 9, 2012 at 2:15 pm

…and no more speaking English, it's Amerikan, Goddammitt!

imissopus February 9, 2012 at 2:29 pm

According to the Houston Chronicle's reporting, this is indeed legislative snark:
http://www.chron.com/news/article/Bill-renames-Gu

ShaveTheWhales February 9, 2012 at 2:53 pm

"Holland, D-Plantersville, says the measure aims to mock anti-immigrant legislation that he finds mean-spirited and insignificant."

Poe's Law, indeed. It appears that teh Wonkettz haz bit on this one.

Negropolis February 10, 2012 at 2:02 am

Forgive us. We are talking about Mississippi, after all. I'd have been surprised to learn that this hadn't already been proposed.

elburritodeluxe February 9, 2012 at 3:05 pm

If he was a REAL patriot, this Islamo-Fascist, Ultra-Leftist, gay America-hater would have changed his name to Steve U.S. America

Preacher_Griz February 9, 2012 at 3:14 pm

I had that idea a long time ago. I had ideas a long time ago that Conservative Christian leaders are finally getting. That is the lot of the Prophet, I guess
http://protoplasm.wordpress.com/2010/07/16/time-t

ProgBelle February 9, 2012 at 3:26 pm

Folks, it's a joke:
http://www.nbcdfw.com/news/local/Gulf-of-America-

"Holland, D-Plantersville, said the measure aims to mock anti-immigrant legislation that he finds mean-spirited and insignificant."

Too bad it will probably pass anyway.

mavenmaven February 9, 2012 at 3:29 pm

We should just rename the whole world "America" and then Jesus would reappear.

rickmaci February 9, 2012 at 3:29 pm

A monumental, absolutely epic, display of All American stupidity.

deanbooth February 9, 2012 at 3:42 pm

Where is the Gulf of America? In education.

hey February 9, 2012 at 5:13 pm

My Wonkette, Holland is making fun of the idiots he serves with. Not aping them, mocking them.
Holland for Prez.

Data Exactly February 9, 2012 at 5:34 pm

And give us back the Gulf of California, Mexico!!!

Schmegeg February 9, 2012 at 6:30 pm

Now therefore, the Mississippi River shall be known as the River of Idiot Legislators

BZ1 February 9, 2012 at 6:50 pm

idiots can be on either side of the aisle…

horsedreamer_1 February 9, 2012 at 7:00 pm

Mississippi is an Injun word. Change the name to Whitetown.

& bring me their finest women.

EarthboneRebel February 9, 2012 at 7:54 pm

Putting too much vinegar on them there Freedom fries.

EarthboneRebel February 9, 2012 at 7:59 pm

Is Mississippi a french word ?We will need to change it to Boondock.Wait thats filipino.Oh my,he's gonna be up late working on this one.

tribbzthesquidz February 10, 2012 at 2:07 am

Gulf of Buttsecksico!

DocChaos February 10, 2012 at 11:13 am

Wonkette and most of it's commentariat succumb to Poe's Law. Mr. Holland is apparently too subtle in his snark for even this crowd.

HELisforHEL February 10, 2012 at 11:44 am

Late to the party, but I just want to say that the accompanying graphic is EPIC.

lizcolville February 10, 2012 at 12:14 pm

Fool me once, shame on me. Clearly too much of a cynic!

SorosBot February 9, 2012 at 12:26 pm

Well then, time to get out the paddle…

Spurning Beer February 9, 2012 at 1:23 pm

Hey. That's not a paddle.

actor212 February 9, 2012 at 2:01 pm

And next, the oral sex

MissTaken February 9, 2012 at 2:08 pm

Even Meg Whitman admitted that California is better when Jerry Brown is Gov.

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