GREAT CAUSES OF OUR TIME  7:54 pm February 8, 2012

House GOP Angry Over Word ‘God’ Being Left Out of Air Force Joke

by Kirsten Boyd Johnson

Sounds Masonic.

The official motto of some obscure Air Force acquisitions office WAS, translated from Latin, “Doing God’s work with other people’s money.” Ha ha. They at least have a morose sense of humor about using taxpayer money to procure killing machines! UNTIL, that is, some cabal of whining atheists complained bitterly about the use of any reference to God, even in this joking context, and the inside-joke motto was changed to, “Doing miracles with other people’s money.” YAWN. The joke is kind of ruined! HOUSE REPUBLICANS TO THE RESCUE with a completely irony-free letter signed by 35 lawmakers demanding to know, “what are you atheists doing removing references to God from anything military?!?!” even though, like we mentioned, JOKE.

From the Religion News Service:

“The action taken by the RCO suggests that all references to God, regardless of their context, must be removed from the military,” the congressional letter states. “We ask that you reverse this perplexing decision.”

According to the lawmakers, all members of the bipartisan prayer caucus, the RCO patch logo previously included the motto “Opus Dei Cum Pecunia Alienum Efficemus” (Doing God’s Work with Other People’s Money), an inside joke among RCO members. Caucus members say it was changed to “Miraculi Cum Pecunia Alienum Efficemus” (Doing Miracles with Other People’s Money).

The letter argues that “courts consistently have upheld the constitutionality of our national motto, ‘In God We Trust,’ despite the obvious mention of God.”

JOKE.[Religion News Service]

 
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{ 249 comments }

nounverb911 February 8, 2012 at 7:57 pm

“Doing God’s work with other people’s money.”
Jeebus saves, Moses invests?

smokefilledroommate February 8, 2012 at 8:22 pm

I thought Moses shot and scored.

HateMachine February 8, 2012 at 8:37 pm

No, Moses takes 2d6 poison damage and is knocked prone.

Barrelhse February 8, 2012 at 8:41 pm

Jesus saves, Esposito scores on the rebound.

Tundra Grifter February 8, 2012 at 8:42 pm

sfr:

I thought it was "JESUS SAVES… He Passes To Gretzky… Gretzky Shoots… He Scores!"

smokefilledroommate February 8, 2012 at 8:48 pm

You're right. The Great One always shoots and scores!

ShaveTheWhales February 9, 2012 at 12:30 am

God saves the Queen, but Jesus buries the rebound.

MittBorg February 8, 2012 at 9:06 pm

Krishna SPENDS!

doloras February 8, 2012 at 9:53 pm

But only BUDDHA pays dividends.

Tundra Grifter February 9, 2012 at 11:22 am

But Buddha never makes change – change comes from within.

MosesInvests February 8, 2012 at 10:11 pm

You rang?

Negropolis February 8, 2012 at 10:46 pm

Jesus saves; Moses invests; Ron Paul deals in alchemy and converts to gold.

Callyson February 9, 2012 at 1:40 am

God: the original outsourcer.

HogeyeGrex February 9, 2012 at 3:53 am

“Doing God’s work with other people’s money.”

Wasn't that Goldman Sachs' motto?

Tundra Grifter February 9, 2012 at 11:23 am

I think that was "Doing other peoples' work with God's money."

BarryOPotter February 9, 2012 at 8:49 am

No. Jesus saves, Moses, still under binding contract, "Kills 'em all and lets God sort 'em out," you know, doing the Man's work.

Rebarbative cabal of whining atheists, guilty of apostasy and, paradoxically, averse to truthiness in patches…

BTWBFDIMHO February 9, 2012 at 10:20 am
tihond February 8, 2012 at 7:57 pm

Enraged about the lack of god, not so much about the jokes about wasting money.

Negligently_Joe February 8, 2012 at 8:24 pm

Did you miss the part where they mentioned it's the Department of Defense?

Sue4466 February 8, 2012 at 9:36 pm

And Republicans.

Negligently_Joe February 8, 2012 at 9:46 pm

Nope! Republicans love to complain about wasting money! Just as long as it takes the form of brown and/or poor people having health care, or eating food, or voting.

Sue4466 February 8, 2012 at 10:02 pm

Nope! Republicans NEVER complain about wasting money when it's about the military. Hence the "AND" to start my comment.

soeoho February 8, 2012 at 7:57 pm

Witless protection program…please.

ttommyunger February 8, 2012 at 7:58 pm

God is not amused.

Tundra Grifter February 8, 2012 at 8:52 pm

You mean, let me understand this cause, ya know maybe it's me, I'm a little fucked up maybe, but I'm funny how, I mean funny like I'm a clown, I amuse you? I make you laugh, I'm here to fuckin' amuse you? What do you mean funny, funny how? How am I funny?

ttommyunger February 8, 2012 at 10:39 pm

Eggszackly!

rocktonsam February 8, 2012 at 7:58 pm

JOBS !!11!

ASSHOLES !

nounverb911 February 8, 2012 at 7:58 pm

They already have them, everyone else is on their own.

fuflans February 8, 2012 at 11:32 pm

right? assholes ran and won on this and have spent the last two years legislating on god and abortion.

assholes.

bagofmice February 8, 2012 at 7:58 pm

The american dream.

Beetagger February 8, 2012 at 7:59 pm

Oxcucking Other Muckers Opus Rectalis

Barrelhse February 8, 2012 at 8:43 pm

Santorum Domini.

nounverb911 February 8, 2012 at 8:00 pm

Illegitimi non carborundum?

veritass February 8, 2012 at 8:01 pm

Haha, they said "cum." That's the joke, right?

Sharkey February 8, 2012 at 8:02 pm

This is the oldest one in The Book.

Chillwillard February 8, 2012 at 8:03 pm

In God We Crust.

Loaded_Pants February 8, 2012 at 8:45 pm

In God We Thrust.

I can feel the fires already…

MittBorg February 8, 2012 at 9:42 pm

I have a Ugandan friend named Theo, which he assures me is short for Theophilus, which means "lover of God," because, as he says, "I am always thinking of fucking god."

I'll tell him to bring the long-handled toasting forks.

BarryOPotter February 9, 2012 at 8:57 am

I can feel the fires already…

Can anyone suggest a salve to combat the itching and burning L_P is starting to feel? Among other presents, that's also what you get for messing with ol' Crazy Eyes. Oh, wait, what? That's not what you meant? May bad. Move along, people, nothing to, erm, see here…

mavenmaven February 8, 2012 at 8:03 pm

I wonder what the teabagger Protestants will do if they hear that the air force is in the hands of "opus dei"…

doloras February 8, 2012 at 9:54 pm

ALBINO MONK LIBEL

Texan_Bulldog February 8, 2012 at 8:05 pm

Wing-tards had their senses of humor removed to make room for more faux righteous indignation….and deep-fried Twinkies.

owhatever February 8, 2012 at 8:06 pm

I didn't see the word God in there anywhere. It actually is an old Kenyan tribal saying about not trying sexytime with a sleeping lion. Why do Republicans hate lions?

chicken_thief February 9, 2012 at 10:21 am

'Cause they are always eating their favorite sheep?

Rotundo_ February 8, 2012 at 8:06 pm

Flatus incendium hirsutius gluteus maximus incendium!
Burning farts can singe your butt hair?

nounverb911 February 8, 2012 at 8:08 pm

Is that why Boehner's burnt all over?

Radiotherapy February 8, 2012 at 10:05 pm

Santorum is on fire about these assholes.

neiltheblaze February 8, 2012 at 8:06 pm

I'd tell these shit-for-brains to get a hobby, but apparently they've already got one.

BlueStateLibel February 8, 2012 at 8:07 pm

WTF do Republican "lawmakers" actually do all day??? What's next, creating controversy over the Library of Congress' filing system?

Barrelhse February 8, 2012 at 8:46 pm

Ron Paul wants to bring back Dewey Decimal.

MittBorg February 8, 2012 at 9:43 pm

This is how old I am: when I knew anything at all about libraries, they used the Dewey Decimal System. Has it been replaced? (raises shield)

Negligently_Joe February 8, 2012 at 9:55 pm

Library of Congress uses its own system, which is actually somewhat the gold standard at this point for any academic library, at least. This, in turn, is a different system than they use for Government documents in the Federal Depositories, which use their own filing system.

::worked for the library back in college::

MittBorg February 8, 2012 at 11:18 pm

Thank you for that information.

Radiotherapy February 8, 2012 at 10:19 pm

I think they will have hearings over the teaching of the Holy Trinity in schools.

Negropolis February 8, 2012 at 10:50 pm

Maybe not the filing system, but I could totally see this Republican Congress sponsoring a federal book burning at the Library of Congress.

Hell, forget books; I fully expect these bastards to put smart, mouthy women on trial for being witches…but only the liberal ones, of course.

MittBorg February 8, 2012 at 11:19 pm

It's not as if there's any women in the Republican ranks who are SMART and mouthy, yaknow.

Negropolis February 9, 2012 at 3:05 am

I realized after I typed it that the "smart" part was kind of redundant. lol

weej_bain February 8, 2012 at 8:07 pm

Opus Dei eh? Are they using the Da Vinci code for encryption?

V572 Flambé February 8, 2012 at 8:47 pm

There's a picture of Robert Hanssen in their chain-of-command photos.

Sharkey February 8, 2012 at 8:09 pm

"RAPID CAPABILITIES OFFICE" is also a joke, right?!?!

smokefilledroommate February 8, 2012 at 8:20 pm

That's the Rabid Capabilities Office.

LesBontemps February 8, 2012 at 10:14 pm

Note that it's "Rapid Capabilities," not "Capable Rapidity." So yes, also a joke.

Dashboard Buddha February 8, 2012 at 8:13 pm

What, "Kill them all and let God sort them out" was taken?

C_R_Eature February 8, 2012 at 8:30 pm

Yeah, I've got that one. That will be $5.

BarryOPotter February 9, 2012 at 9:02 am

This is why I hate being late to the party. Check's in the mail…

Angry_Marmot February 8, 2012 at 9:01 pm

A cousin of mine in SAC said there was a sign under the mountain that read "PEACE IS OUR PROFESSION", and someone penciled underneath, "Mass Murder Is Our Specialty".

Dashboard Buddha February 8, 2012 at 10:17 pm

SAC and Sons: Bespoke murder.

Gunner Asch February 8, 2012 at 11:36 pm

I think I remember seeing an Air Force T-shirt in the PX with "You all look like targets to me"

CommieLibunatic February 8, 2012 at 8:15 pm

This makes me want to compress humanity into bricks and build a giant wall to keep all you insane fuckers out.

MittBorg February 8, 2012 at 9:10 pm

I approve of this sentiment, as long as I am not selected for bricking.

CommieLibunatic February 9, 2012 at 2:06 pm

No promises. Try to steer clear of the Solyent Green-style pulper truck.

MittBorg February 9, 2012 at 2:14 pm

Are you fucking kidding me, if it ever comes to Soylent Green I am so taking the quick way off the planet. Geez, I *know* what my fellow-humans eat, and most of them are not fit for human consumption.

Dashboard Buddha February 8, 2012 at 10:18 pm

All in all, I refuse to be a brick in the wall.

HarryButtle February 9, 2012 at 1:10 am

I love this. Either I'm not as crazy as I thought I was…or you're as nuts as me. Either way, I'm not so lonely anymore.

Nothingisamiss February 9, 2012 at 3:34 pm

And that is the true beauty of our Wonkette.

JackDempsey1 February 8, 2012 at 8:16 pm

Oh, sure, God's got a great sense of humor, although he was (and is) a notorious joke-stealer. Most of "His" classic stuff? Totally stolen from Adam. You think he was banished for eating fruit?

emmelemm February 8, 2012 at 8:37 pm

I think that God's got a sick sense of humor, and when I die, I expect to find him laughing.

smokefilledroommate February 8, 2012 at 8:17 pm

What a fitting motto that would be for Congressional Republicans–they'd so embrace it.

Extemporanus February 8, 2012 at 8:18 pm

Watch your six, Blue Angels.

Radiotherapy February 8, 2012 at 10:33 pm

ZOMG, wait until they find out there was a jet fighter named the Demon. Hell hath no fury like a sanctimonious hypocrite scorned.

C_R_Eature February 8, 2012 at 8:18 pm

The fact that this was the Most Important Thing these 35 "lawmakers" did all day either has me enraged or thankful that they didn't have time to do any real damage to the Republic.

I'm not sure which, quite yet.

BlueStateLibel February 8, 2012 at 8:24 pm

I had the same exact reaction. Only God knows the answer.

C_R_Eature February 8, 2012 at 8:28 pm

I think we'll all be OK, as long as no one says "Jeh__a".

Barrelhse February 8, 2012 at 8:49 pm

Jehova?

C_R_Eature February 8, 2012 at 8:53 pm

Aaaahhhh! I'm out of stones! DAMMIT, I'M OUT OF STONES!

Negropolis February 8, 2012 at 10:53 pm

Hopefully, all both of them, Katie.

C_R_Eature February 9, 2012 at 6:55 am

I've been trying to work on my Rage.
It's not going too well and I may have to give up CSPAN.

Ohforcripessake February 8, 2012 at 8:20 pm

Yea, God outsourced all the mayhem he used to do to us humans. Gives him more time to work on perfecting the platypus.

HistoriCat February 8, 2012 at 10:11 pm

I figured God already achieved perfection with the cockroach.

Negropolis February 8, 2012 at 10:56 pm

And, the twinkie. The two go hand-in-hand. The perfection of god can be seen in its immutable, creamy, yellow-cake goodness.

Angry_Marmot February 8, 2012 at 11:43 pm

Only after the last tree has been cut down, only after the last river has been poisoned, only after the last cockroach has eaten the last Twinkie, only then will Republicans find money cannot be eaten and God cannot be bought off with ass-kissing.

Negropolis February 9, 2012 at 3:06 am

Beautiful, just beautiful.

ThundercatHo February 9, 2012 at 8:26 am

Tallahassee, is that you?

jus_wonderin February 9, 2012 at 10:11 am

As I witnessed last night, on PBS's Nature, God is making great progress with the Urban Raccoon.

smokefilledroommate February 8, 2012 at 8:21 pm

Miraclespeed.

Biff February 8, 2012 at 10:10 pm

Is that even faster than ludicrous speed?

BearNoLike February 8, 2012 at 10:47 pm

He's gone Argyle!

Biff February 8, 2012 at 11:21 pm

May the Schwartz be with you.

donner_froh February 8, 2012 at 8:22 pm

Killing commies Muslims for Christ.

johnnyzhivago February 8, 2012 at 8:23 pm
Negligently_Joe February 8, 2012 at 8:27 pm

So on one hand, I do kinda agree that the motto was funnier before, and sort of loses its "zing" in its current form.

On the other hand, it's LITERALLY gallows humor. As in, the humor of the gallows. In that it's jokes about legally-sanctioned forms of murder.

So all in all, I'm left mostly irritated that my tax money is paying the salary of people who spent today complaining about this stuff, and doing probably nothing else.

HarryButtle February 9, 2012 at 1:14 am

To be fair: if they're busy complaining, they're not bombing the shit out of anybody. If I've got to pay them at all, I'd rather pay them to not bomb people.

Negligently_Joe February 9, 2012 at 6:06 am

On the other hand, the thing they're complaining about is that we're not invoking God enough while we're bombing the shit out of people. Speaking of which, I think I just found a non-atheism reason people might have wanted to change that motto.

paris biltong February 9, 2012 at 3:03 am

Taxes first pay for the joke, then for the complaining. The Paultards may have a point.

user-of-owls February 8, 2012 at 8:29 pm

Where's your joke now?

Chichikovovich February 8, 2012 at 8:40 pm

Welcome, vieux chum! Tu m'as manqué.

MittBorg February 8, 2012 at 9:12 pm

Hey! You're just in time for RATS!

not that Dewey February 8, 2012 at 9:44 pm

He can't hear you. He's nothing but an embroidered patch with the head of a bird.

paris biltong February 9, 2012 at 3:17 am

Friends of Bill and their brethren spend inordinate amounts of time and effort, IMO, trying to figure out whether godastheyunderstandhimorit has a sense of humor, whereas it is obviously their own sense of humor which is at issue. They're funny that way.

Negligently_Joe February 8, 2012 at 8:29 pm

New motto for Congress:

"Complaining about completely pointless culture war bullshit, with other people's money"

or, if you prefer the Latin:

Questus de Omnino Frustra Culturae Bellum Stercore Tauri, Pecunia Alienum Efficemus

Chet Kincaid February 8, 2012 at 8:30 pm

Mistranslation. The motto reads, "The penguin god ejaculates peculiar alien fish-mice," which is a real knee-slapper, but you had to be there.

JackObin February 8, 2012 at 8:30 pm

Money is America's god, so it all works out fine.

Chichikovovich February 8, 2012 at 8:36 pm

That makes it even worse! They're using other people's god!

smokefilledroommate February 8, 2012 at 8:44 pm

God money's not one to choose.

ph7 February 8, 2012 at 10:39 pm

Our love is all of god's money, sayeth the Wilco

GregComlish February 9, 2012 at 8:23 am

This is just like when Jesus overturned the moneychangers' tables as a viral marketing stunt for Jerusalem Savings and Loan. He needed to highlight their lower fee structure and generous mortgage rates.

smokefilledroommate February 8, 2012 at 8:33 pm

Miraculi Cum Pappas Benedictus Femina. Yeah, I said it!
(I was baptized Catholic, so I can say that.)

northernbassist February 8, 2012 at 10:03 pm

Women bless miraculous Olestra potato chips? What about the anal leakage?

Blueb4sunrise February 8, 2012 at 8:35 pm

Dern it. Them Muslins get ta 'Allah this' and 'Allah that' all over the place, and we can't even keep our real true GOD in a fucking joke .

Also, I agree with _Joe that the joke works better with 'God' in it. More tension with what they are actually doing.

PhilippePetain February 8, 2012 at 8:38 pm

I love it when republicans are forced to defend rampant government spending and making jokes about god.

PsycWench February 8, 2012 at 8:44 pm

I'm so glad to see that Republicans have something to spend their time on so that they won't have to be all bored trying to think up ways to create jobs.

Tundra Grifter February 8, 2012 at 8:47 pm

Since it's the fuckin' taxpayers' money, I'd feel a bit better if their motto was "Caveat Emptor."

BZ1 February 8, 2012 at 8:47 pm

Some people seem to have waaaaaay too much time on their hands…

JustPixelz February 8, 2012 at 8:49 pm

Hooray! ALL our other problems are solved so we can focus on obscure Latin phrases. After that's fixed up, Congress can fix the alphabet. "Q" looks too much like "O". It's a disgrace.

Tundra Grifter February 8, 2012 at 8:50 pm

There is no god but Mammon, and ten percent is his profit.

Negropolis February 9, 2012 at 10:09 pm

Oh, yes. That was damned good.

Tundra Grifter February 10, 2012 at 12:10 pm

NGOP:

Thank you! I'll be here all week.

Try the sea bass.

Anyone here from Connecticut?

Barrelhse February 8, 2012 at 8:53 pm

OT- Anyone heard from Lizzie today?

Biff February 8, 2012 at 8:55 pm

She was on earlier.

chascates February 8, 2012 at 8:58 pm
Barrelhse February 8, 2012 at 9:20 pm

Thanks-I'm looking for a Babs update.

MittBorg February 8, 2012 at 9:47 pm

You do know that she HATES being called "Babs," right?

Barb's husband, Jeffer, posted on an earlier thread that she was out of surgery and resting comfortably. He'll let us know more at some later, unspecified time. Poor man was exhausted.

BearNoLike February 8, 2012 at 11:00 pm

Talking about Barb? Barb is the pointy tail of the devil, injecting thinky-ness into the fatty upper arm of stupid. Hope everything is ok.

Nothingisamiss February 9, 2012 at 3:39 pm

I'm so glad you posted this, I've been wondering. I can't always be up on EVERYTHING. It's simply exhausting.

*Scratches. Pours self another diet coke*

AlterNewt February 8, 2012 at 8:55 pm

This God guy. Is he aware of all these people using his credit card, as it were?

yyyaz February 9, 2012 at 12:22 am

If he didn't want us using it, he shouldn't have used it to pay for his sexytime.

chascates February 8, 2012 at 8:56 pm

"Enriching Corporations At Your Children's Expense"

C_R_Eature February 8, 2012 at 8:56 pm

"Mea Hovercraft est plena anguillis."

My Hovercraft is full of Eels.

Angry_Marmot February 8, 2012 at 11:49 pm

My nipples explode with delight.

Chichikovovich February 9, 2012 at 12:01 am

Drop your panties, Sir William; I cannot wait until lunchtime!

ShaveTheWhales February 9, 2012 at 12:41 am

For some reason, that set me off on a giggling jag that lasted about five minutes. In fact, it's still going on.

C_R_Eature February 9, 2012 at 5:17 am

It's always done that to me. I can't even say it properly without totally breaking up.

JustPixelz February 8, 2012 at 8:57 pm

One thing I know: God sure isn't doing God's work any more. Otherwise there'd be a cure for AIDS, children would not go hungry, religion would a force that unites us.

C_R_Eature February 8, 2012 at 9:08 pm
Guppy February 8, 2012 at 9:00 pm

Evangelical atheists versus evangelical Christian fundamentalists.

I'm not drunk enough for this.

not that Dewey February 8, 2012 at 9:04 pm

The Air Force was talking to a slightly deaf patch embroiderer, and had really wanted the motto to read "Doing Rod's Work…"

KeepFnThatChicken February 8, 2012 at 9:08 pm

It could be Mitt's acquisition office soon. What's Latin for "Sending Moroni's Work To China"?

Lionel[redacted]Esq February 8, 2012 at 9:09 pm

So, these Congresspeople are in agreement that God is a joke?

voodooeconomics February 8, 2012 at 9:13 pm

Lord have mercy. Can never win with the American Taliban Party.
Leave GOD out they want GOD in.
Take GOD out they demand to put it back.

C_R_Eature February 8, 2012 at 9:17 pm

"Pater, dimitte nobis quid faciendum
Ut nobis indulgeas, dimíssis
Puteus dimitte unusquisque donec et convertam hyacintho
ergo puteus sibilabit et piscantur in caelum"

Father Forgive us for what we must do
You forgive us, we forgive You.
We'll forgive each other until we both turn blue
then we'll whistle and go fishing in Heaven.

MittBorg February 8, 2012 at 9:48 pm

That's hilarious. Tell me you didn't author it!

C_R_Eature February 8, 2012 at 9:54 pm

Well, MB If I did author that, I'd be Rich, Drunk and John Prine.

Sadly, I'm none of those things.

MittBorg February 8, 2012 at 11:27 pm

Oh, my, that is sweet. Tank you, CRE.

C_R_Eature February 9, 2012 at 5:21 am

Welcome!

johnnyzhivago February 8, 2012 at 9:27 pm

"More than two million American homeowners will get at least $25 billion in relief from the nation’s biggest banks as part of a broad settlement to be announced as early as Thursday with state and federal authorities."

Great – now the banks are going to ask for the $50 quadrillion dollars to pay off these homeowners from Obama!

johnnyzhivago February 8, 2012 at 9:37 pm

OT: Does anyone else have Intense Debate jumping all over the page while posting a comment. I figured it was my PC, but I just held my nose and went over to breibert.tv (or whatever it is) which uses Intense Debate – and it worked completely normally. Could be some sort of filter to stop epileptics from using the site, I guess….

johnnyzhivago February 8, 2012 at 9:40 pm

Only happens with IE9… hmmmm……

Negligently_Joe February 8, 2012 at 9:41 pm

I've had that problem on and off. It's most frequent on my phone, but my work and (rarely) home computers do it, too. (Safari, Explorer, and Chrome, respectively)

Err, not that I'm posting when I'm supposed to be doing work, or while I'm taking "bathroom breaks" or anything.

Biff February 8, 2012 at 9:48 pm

Mine does it too, using firefox's latest. Intense Debate and Disqus.

johnnyzhivago February 8, 2012 at 10:27 pm

Newell must be tinkering with the CSS files or something…

Biff February 8, 2012 at 10:35 pm

It was happening to me before the prodigal ginger returned, I figured it was errant script, but I don't know anything about script, other than it seized my rig up cold until it's done writing. Tried the noscript add-on, but it fouled up everything else, basically killed the village to save it…

Huevos Ocupados February 9, 2012 at 2:33 am

Yeah, it's going all wonky on me too. I can't even upfist a brother without the page going back to the top.

James Michael Curley February 9, 2012 at 9:54 am

Its a Wordpress issue, I think.

elfgoldsackring February 8, 2012 at 9:38 pm

Yeah, cos 'miracles' is a word with no religious connotations…

Limeylizzie February 8, 2012 at 9:38 pm

Hi Wonketteers, I have an update on our beloved Barb and her lady bits, she is weak but OK and should be home tomorrow, she is on a morphine drip-mmmm yummy- and had a great surgical team, all this is from MrBarb, he will update or maybe Barb herself will email tomorrow.

Biff February 8, 2012 at 9:49 pm

Yay!

C_R_Eature February 8, 2012 at 9:50 pm

Thanks very much, Liz. I think everyone's been waiting on Barb News with Bated Breath, as it were!

MittBorg February 8, 2012 at 9:51 pm

Thanks. Poor Barb! It'll be so good to see her again, even if only virtually.

Negligently_Joe February 8, 2012 at 9:51 pm

That's good the hear! I'm sending non-denominational prayers/good thoughts/ hippie moon beams her way, and wishing for a speedy and full recovery!

Crank_Tango February 8, 2012 at 9:56 pm

This is good news for Barb.

Extemporanus February 8, 2012 at 10:02 pm

Thanks for the news, Lizzie (& Jeffer!)

Any word on whether or not the doctors are going to allow her to bring Jarb home with her?

Limeylizzie February 8, 2012 at 10:10 pm

I pray that it will be her new avatar.

Extemporanus February 8, 2012 at 10:39 pm

"Annnd, who's da cutest widdle-biddle lady bits in da whole wide world? You are, Jarb! Yes you are! Yes you are, you adorable widdle itty-bitty Barb discharge you! Why, you're so cute, I swear that I could just eat you up!"

*pinches lid*

MittBorg February 8, 2012 at 11:28 pm

I believe the part in question is named Mookie.

Jeffer February 9, 2012 at 1:06 am

From Dr. Okun's description, Jarb #1 was "Knobby and very large" And then she described Jarbs #2-6.
I don't want to steal Barb's thunder though. She's the star of the show and deserves her proper credit.

Extemporanus February 9, 2012 at 2:59 am

After that reply, you'll always be "Jarb #1" in my book, big boy!

Thanks again, Jeffer…

Steverino247 February 9, 2012 at 9:43 am

Dr. Okun: At your cervix.

(So, it's not just Rocky Rococo, then…)

chascates February 9, 2012 at 10:36 am

GIVE ME BACK MY PICKLE!

ThundercatHo February 8, 2012 at 10:06 pm

Glad to hear that all went well. Did you remind Mr. Barb that they should save her uterus to hurl at the congress critters? Get well soon, Barb!

Barrelhse February 8, 2012 at 10:26 pm

Thank you, Lizzie.

Blueb4sunrise February 8, 2012 at 10:27 pm

Excellent news.

LL should flash us in celebration.

fuflans February 8, 2012 at 11:38 pm

oh man, i really like the wonkettes.

MissTaken February 9, 2012 at 12:07 am

Great news!

Tundra Grifter February 9, 2012 at 9:33 am

Do you know who else had problems with lady bits?

But seriously – great news and I'm glad to hear it!

Easily tops Donald Chump endorsing Mittens who promptly loses 3 primaries to a guy consistently polling in single digits.

Steverino247 February 9, 2012 at 9:42 am

Thanks for the updates, Jeffers and LL. Glad to hear everything came out alright.

weej_bain February 9, 2012 at 9:47 am

Best wishes to Barb & Jeff and a smooth healing with ample snark.

Fare la Volpe February 9, 2012 at 10:10 am

Great to hear! Send her our warmest internet kitten cuddles.

And ask her how much she wants for the good pills. I have a…friend.

SayItWithWookies February 8, 2012 at 9:41 pm

Well — I'm disappointed in my fellow atheists. Removing reverent mentions of the deity is one thing, but calling for the removal of an official phrase that mocks The LORD is just a little too doctrinaire for my taste.

But you've still gotta hand it to the Republicans — they won't let anyone look stupider than they are. They've made finding a new lowest common denominator into an art form.

Nostrildamus February 9, 2012 at 12:50 pm

We know we've arrived when we get to have over-the-top fanatics, too.

Crank_Tango February 8, 2012 at 9:55 pm

Truthfully, it should read "Killing Browns with Borrowed Greenbacks," but that might offend somebody.

iburl February 8, 2012 at 9:59 pm

Maybe WonkettePac can create an issue ad about jokes. Everyone reading this who is a Billionaire, please send in your money.

BarackMyWorld February 9, 2012 at 1:20 am

That's a pretty great idea.

MosesInvests February 8, 2012 at 10:13 pm

Pie Jesu Domine, dona eis requiem. (WHACK!)

littlebigdaddy February 8, 2012 at 10:16 pm

I am not drunk enough to understand the context here. Do the Air Force ppls hate God?

BaldarTFlagass February 9, 2012 at 8:24 am

No. To the Air Force, God is Da Bomb. Both literally and figuratively.

BarackMyWorld February 8, 2012 at 10:22 pm

Carpe deez nuts.

Mahousu February 8, 2012 at 10:35 pm

The real sin is that the Latin there is absolutely terrible. Quicumque ignorat, taceat.

Fukui_sanYesOta February 8, 2012 at 10:50 pm

I thought exactly the same thing. My latin teacher would have thrown his board eraser at the idiots.

Negropolis February 8, 2012 at 10:43 pm

Really? Come on. Really? I'm kind of speechless.

Wait; let me get this straight. They are angry not at the offensive joke motto, but that atheist wanted to take god out of it? Both of sides are total losers arguing over a fucking joke.

Ugh.

America, this (and that we even have a fuckin' "bi-partisan prayer caucus" in Congress) is why we can't have nice things.

Negropolis February 8, 2012 at 10:54 pm

My guillotine is totally purring after hearing about this criminal waste of time. Baby's getting thirsty, thirsty for the blood needed to water the tree of liberty. We can only deny her her just desserts for awhile yet longer…

cheetojeebus February 9, 2012 at 8:51 am

oh aren't, we all fancy pants, I am so jealous, all i got is a stump and a dull axe with IBS.

Negropolis February 8, 2012 at 10:59 pm

The motto should have been a threatening line from the venerable Stewie Griffin of Family Guy infamy:

"Dear God…stay out of our way."

fuflans February 8, 2012 at 11:41 pm

i just have to say new avatars are hard and bring up all sorts of complicated things.

valthemus February 8, 2012 at 11:16 pm

Let's make an RCO patch that says “Doing Allah’s work with other people’s money.” and watch House Republicans' heads explode!

johnnyzhivago February 8, 2012 at 11:30 pm

Firefox and Chrome seem to work fine – and other I.D. sites appear ok – it must be some script or something here interacting with IE9, and I tell you I've had more problems with IE9 than Mitt Romney had votes last night.

CapnFatback February 9, 2012 at 12:20 am

If controversies about God didn't exist, it would be necessary for Man to invent them.*

_______________________
*Because Man is a dithering asshole.

Jeffer February 9, 2012 at 12:47 am

Barb Update:_Barb is doing well. I just spoke to her on the phone. I'm going back in the morning, but she's very tired._(Please excuse any mispells)_The surgery took about half an hour more than expected. One of the fibroids was much larger than expected and it took a while to remove The surgeon (A VERY competent Asian lady, thank god for Tiger Mom's today!) said it was very large and she had to "wrestle" it out before extracting the five other ones. Barb made it through like an ace though. Spent a couple of hours in recovery, and was in her room. I spent an hour or two with her and then left her with her new friend, Mr. Morphine button._Barb's a bit groggy, and weak from blood loss. In good spirits and asking about everyone here at Wonkette. She asked about the last post, and I told her about Santorum winning the primarys last night. Her eye's got big and she asked "All of them?" And then asked if the morphine drip was working properly, lol._If they can get a few things done, she can be out and at home tomorrow. The first is to get her walking around, which for some reason they have decided to try tonight

Fukui_sanYesOta February 9, 2012 at 1:01 am

This is great news, and my best to you and Barb.

ShaveTheWhales February 9, 2012 at 1:45 am

Good to hear everything came out all right. Also, if there was any doubt, it appears that the surgery was a good idea.

My best wishes to both of you.

Extemporanus February 9, 2012 at 2:45 am

The love and respect you two crazy kids so clearly have for each other should make this open relationship involving Mr. Morphine Button a short-lived one.

Get some well-deserved rest, sir, and please let Barb know that a big, fat bouquet of upfists awaits her when she's ready to come roaring back.

Negropolis February 9, 2012 at 3:08 am

So glad to hear, and thanks for the update.

Yes, Barb; he won all of them, Katie. All of them, Katie, indeed.

Get well soon.

Barrelhse February 9, 2012 at 7:02 am

Thank you for the update. I hope all goes well from here on.

BaldarTFlagass February 9, 2012 at 8:31 am

Hooray for socialized medicine dispensed by scrutable Oriental wimmen!!

BlueStateLibel February 9, 2012 at 9:45 am

So glad to hear Barb is doing well, we are all rooting for her!

Steverino247 February 9, 2012 at 9:48 am

That walking thing is very, very important. The quicker you can get up and around, the quicker everything starts to work again. Reduces pneumonia and other risks as well. It's a real pain to do (and I'm speaking from "wonderful" experience here) but the humans that get back up and move go home.

SorosBot February 9, 2012 at 10:20 am

Yay, and here's hoping the recovery goes as quick as possible.

Biff February 9, 2012 at 10:24 am

Great news. Walking is good. Also, poop. Must poop. It seems that morphine is at odds with this bodily function, but it must be overcome.

jus_wonderin February 9, 2012 at 10:28 am

Great news. Thanks for the update. I'd take all the pain away, if I could, but I don't have the right parts.

chascates February 9, 2012 at 10:40 am

Staying on morphine until the election might be the best way to deal with Santorum & Co. Take care and watch old British comedies (Fawlty Towers, The Goods, etc)!

Chet Kincaid February 9, 2012 at 10:40 am

Good God, is this turning into a "community"? I hate when that happens.

But seriously, thank you for the update and here's to a speedy, hopefully minimally-painful recovery for Barb. Morphine up-thumbs!

MittBorg February 9, 2012 at 1:52 pm

Thanks Jeffer. Yay Barb!

Feed that gal steak for a week.

DocChaos February 9, 2012 at 1:08 am

Each step of this story is like descending into another level of assholery.

I'd root for the defense department douchebags to keep their flippant motto, but it would make the cretinous Christmongers in congress happy, so I'm left waiting for the procurement office to get it's motto back and then get the axe due to defense department budget cuts that Republicans agreed to, but never thought would happen.

Joshua Norton February 9, 2012 at 1:11 am

Illegitimi non carborundum.

gurukalehuru February 9, 2012 at 2:44 am

Opus Dei=scary killer albinos.

Terry February 9, 2012 at 8:07 am

The GOP'ers must be so excited that they have something new to rant about in their next newsletter to their supporters.

not that Dewey February 9, 2012 at 8:37 am

The Air Force should adopt the motto of the Secret Service: retro et ad sinistrosus

BaldarTFlagass February 9, 2012 at 8:37 am

So, what does the Rapid Capabilities Office do? From the USAF website:
"Mission
The Air Force Rapid Capabilities Office expedites development and fielding of select Department of Defense combat support and weapon systems by leveraging defense-wide technology development efforts and existing operational capabilities. The Board of Directors tasks the office directly to address needs that involve mission applications and operational concepts requiring specialized expertise, and involve sensitive activities managed by other government agencies. The office also conducts projects on accelerated timelines."

I work for the Air Force myself, and this one has "boondoggle" written all over it. In fact, I just applied for an intraservice transfer.

Steverino247 February 9, 2012 at 9:50 am

In other words, it's very cool state-of-the-art shit you're not supposed to know about. The Air Force really can't resist talking about what they're not supposed to talk about and they love little inside joke patches like this. Somebody needs to bitchslap somebody at the RCO about this.

Biff February 9, 2012 at 10:30 am

Gawd, I hate consultant-speak!

MittBorg February 9, 2012 at 1:56 pm

Anytime they start with that "leveraging existing operational capabilities" bullshit, you know it's time to pull out the waders. Good luck with the transfer!

elburritodeluxe February 9, 2012 at 8:56 am

Oh, it's no mystery, House Republican douchebags. Obama is a Muslim extremist who is busy preparing internment camps for Christians and as a sign of that, he is desecrating Christian symbols everywhere starting with obscure military patches.

Baconzgood February 9, 2012 at 9:09 am

Oh man…..Now Jim HAS to go see Brad Stine at CPAC. If they have so much not a sense of humor I gotta get a report as to what they think is funny. Knock-knock jokes?

LiveToServeYa February 9, 2012 at 9:14 am

While killing people in Latin is much classier than in English, the RCO actually works on the X-37B Orbital Test Vehicle, an unmanned space plane test platform. No doubt it will eventually be used to deliver munitions, embedded in a tasteful urn, on top of any funeral or wedding in the world with only an hours notice. Or, as Caesar would say: "Catapultam habeo. Nisi pecuniam omnem mihi dabis, ad caput tuum saxum immane mittam."

MittBorg February 9, 2012 at 2:06 pm

Thank you. Bit of a tempest in a teacup, I should think.

KeepFnThatChicken February 9, 2012 at 9:18 am

What god?

Chet Kincaid February 9, 2012 at 9:46 am

Morning!! Time to feed the beast with a thousand accounts!!

Crowe2011 February 9, 2012 at 10:01 am

Probably the same reason that if studied the methodology and sociology of scientific disciplines you still wouldn't call yourself a 'scientologist'; because it (like 'Opus Dei') is the name of a creepy as fuck cult-within-a-cult? Just guessing.

prommie February 9, 2012 at 10:01 am

Whiny atheists don't get the credit they deserve for originating the uber-annoying victimhood meme "Stop shoving your _______ down my throat" that has since been adopted by conservatives.

prommie February 9, 2012 at 10:07 am

I find it difficult to leverage my existing operational capabilities to this post.

Dashboard Buddha February 9, 2012 at 10:12 am

Here's a fun link for creepy/sinister patches
http://vigilantcitizen.com/vigilantreport/top-10-

Who the hell knows what's going on with these things…seriously creepy…tongue in cheek?

I'm just glad today is bring your flask to work day.

chascates February 9, 2012 at 10:22 am

If you want to start your day with a big dose of crazy FoxNation is streaming the CPAC hoedown life: http://nation.foxnews.com/cpac-2012/2012/02/09/cl

But it's too early for me to start drinking.

paris biltong February 9, 2012 at 10:27 am

Please: "Santorum Wipes the Floor with NBC’s Gregory" (shouldn't it be the opposite?). Gimme a break.

chascates February 9, 2012 at 10:34 am

FoxNation often runs those So-and-so Schools Jon Stewart or Former Flack Takes Rachel Maddow to the Woodshed! hedes. Most Fox viewers have such a small grasp on reality (from watching Fox) that their implanted fears and prejudices are nicely massaged just by reading the lead. And even if they watch the edited clips they come away with the satisfaction that there are real god-fearing Americans standing up to us secular humanist daily bathers.

johnedens February 9, 2012 at 10:27 am

I'm surprised they fundies aren't making a big deal out of the pentagrams

paris biltong February 9, 2012 at 10:35 am

You want real stupid? Take Bill Kristol (please):
"But if Mitt Romney's weaknesses persist — and especially if Romneycare turns out to be as formidable weapon as it now seems to be in the hands of Rick Santorum; [...] if Santorum now passes Newt Gingrich in national Republican surveys, continues to do better than Gingrich (and than Romney?) in poll match-ups against President Obama, and over the next weeks becomes the conservative alternative to Romney; if national conservative and grassroots leaders (Sarah Palin?) and local ones in key states now rally to Santorum…"

Biff February 9, 2012 at 10:53 am

Anybody else, in the history of forever, that was as consistently wrong as stupid fucking bill Kristol, would be perpetually unemployed and homeless. My hat is off to him for finding a host, anyway.

Tundra Grifter February 9, 2012 at 12:29 pm

LesB:

Thank you. I'm 95% sure that's original. Now that it's out in cyberspace, you'll quite welcome to it.

MittBorg February 8, 2012 at 11:22 pm

That is the best-EVAH description of Barb!

She had some expected and needed surgery and is now in recovery. She will grace us soon with her dazzling wit, I'm sure.

jus_wonderin February 9, 2012 at 10:14 am

I was at the ATM the other day. God was getting fastcash and I peeked over his shoulder. Wouldn't ya know, at just that moment he was entering his PIN.

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