put on yr hanukkah sweater vest

Rick Santorum Fetes The Jews With New Testament Quote

Rick Santorum knew just what the Jews of South Carolina wanted to hear around Hanukkah time: A quote from Jesus in the New Testament threatening people who don’t follow him. That means you, Jews! Oh, brother. Also: “Holiday Season”? There is no such thing. Rick Santorum hates Christmas. [via Hunter Walker]

About the author

Jim Newell is Wonkette's beloved Capitol Hill Typing Demon. He joined Wonkette.com in 2007, left for some other dumb job in 2010, and proudly returned in 2012 as our "Senior Editor at Large." He lives in Washington and also writes for things such as The Guardian, the Manchester paper of liberals.

View all articles by Jim Newell

Comments

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  • Local_Mojo

    I don't care what people say, that ad with Rick and the kids playing catch with Gabriel is really sweet.

    • Nostrildamus

      Does he throw him through a tire swing at the end?

      • Crank_Tango

        Now watch this drive.

    • Negropolis

      I like when they play football and spike him in the end zone.

  • http://wonkette.com Chillwillard

    Haven't the Jews suffered enough?

    • Loaded_Pants

      Well, there are some Christians who think they haven't.

    • beavertank

      We all have to suffer this fool together. The Jews can take another for the team.

    • Negropolis

      Fundamentalist Christians want them to suffer, forever, if they don't follow The Jeebus at the end.

    • pinkocommi

      Heh, heh, heh… "Team Santorum." Kind of makes you wonder what all those staffers are doing there at campaign headquarters.

  • Lucidamente1

    Wait, there are Jews in South Carolina?

    • Preferred Customer
      • Lucidamente1

        A shande far di goyim.

      • flamingpdog

        It's all about the Benjamins!

        • bagofmice

          It's all about the Benjamins bibi!

    • http://wonkette.com Chillwillard

      Only the ones who donate to Lindsey Graham's campaign.

    • littlebigdaddy

      Oldest synagogue in the US is in Charleston. Read Pat Conroy's Beach Music.

    • Radiotherapy

      Of course, they own Pedro's South of the Border.

    • Loaded_Pants

      To be fair, I believe one member of SC Team Santorum asked another member (the other half of team): "Southern Jews are still Christians, right?"

      • Preferred Customer

        Did they have to flip to decide which one would be Lube and which one would be Fecal?

  • Lucidamente1

    In fairness to Rick, they are probably Jews for Jesus.

    • thebeatgoeson

      I am playing words with friends with one right now. Born again Christian / Messianic Jew. Luckily she doesn't discuss religion with this agnostic Unitarian!

    • MosesInvests

      Vegetarians for Veal.

      • Fare la Volpe

        Environmentalists for Coal.

        • Negropolis

          Yeah, but this new coal, it's "clean". Didn't you hear? Clean coal!

          I almost lost my dinner just typing that.

  • BornInATrailer

    Ah-hahahaha. What a fuckin' retard.

    • HistoriCat

      "Card for the Jews. Hey – what's this Chakakan thing about?"
      "Uh – something about a festival of lights I think"
      "Oh here's a 'Light of the World' bible quote – that will be perfect!"

    • ttommyunger

      How did you get that past the dreaded "Administrator"? The last time I used that word in a comment I got the Indian Burn from Hell on my ego.

      • BornInATrailer

        I think in celebration of Newell's return, the bad word cork got popped, like a champagne bottle full of santorum.

        Drink up!

        • ttommyunger

          Good. That is an important and unique word sorely needed in this Republican Primary Season.

          • HogeyeGrex

            "Retard" is pretty useful in any Republican Primary Season.

          • ttommyunger

            True!

  • Inchhigh

    Frothy the Doh! man

  • Tundra Grifter

    Can anyone show me a quote using "Judeo-Christian tradition" from before 1950?

    I think this was made up to cover Christian guilt when they finally realized all their nice Jewish friends were going straight to Hell.

    • HateMachine

      I think it probably had more to do with WASPs finally deciding to count their Jewish friends as white people*.

      *sometimes, whenever it was convenient.

    • Boojum_Reborn

      It started when they realized that there were religions other than Christian and the Killers of Jesus.

    • Mahousu

      Actually, the term seems to have become popular after World War I as a means of distinguishing the West from the Communists and, later, the Nazis. The earliest hit that Google News gives is 1927, but it is clear it was already in use before then.

      It became fairly common during World War II, particularly by Jewish organizations in the U.S. as a not-so-subtle hint to pay attention to the fate of the Jews in Europe. After the war, especially during the McCarthy period, it was used in a similar way to point out not all Jews were Communists. (Anticommunism and antisemitism were often closely linked in the '50's.)

      Sorry, no snark here.

      • http://loljazzcatz.blogspot.com/ Chet Kincaid

        So as a PR move, the MorMen and Scientologists should start referring to our "Insano-Christian Heritage."

      • Tundra Grifter

        Mahousu:

        No snark needed. Interesting. I wonder if it also became popular when Jewish people united with Black folks to combat racism. I know American Jews worked hard on Civil Rights. That would fit the between the Wars timeframe.

        I can see some of the good Baptists waking up one morning and thinking "Geez – those guys helping us really aren't Christians, are they?" And then trying to do something about it.

        While it was "in use" by the mid-20's, it appears to me it became popular in the 1950's.

        Either way, to apply it all the way to Colonial times is revision with a vengeance.

        • Negropolis

          Hmmm…I always thought it was a way conservatives wanted to try to capture the community's votes and money, a real kind of convenient assimilation to keep their friends close and enemies closer.

      • Crank_Tango

        you know who else closely linked anti-semitism and anti-communism…

        • MosesInvests

          The Lithuanian "patriots" who murdered my great-aunts and their families. Sorry, no snark there.

    • much_ado

      The earliest usage I found in Google Books was in 1881 (there were several in the 1880s): Dickinson's Theological Quarterly, vol 7 (1881), p. 114, "They have learned in their studies that pure and complete theism never existed, in a general manner, save in the Judeo-Christian tradition, and has always rested on a basis of faith."

  • http://www.lithappens.com/blog/ Lit Happens

    I don't think you'd want to do a Google image search on "Team Santorum." Or maybe you would.

    • http://wonkette.com/ weej_bain

      Team Santorum thongs? At least they're made in the USA, USA, USA, but none union bug.

    • PsycWench

      A headline on CNNs website is "Romney promises to get more aggressive with Santorum". Perhaps we should all brace ourselves.

    • Crank_Tango

      " ain't no real bruhs on team santorum"

      Roland Martin

  • elviouslyqueer

    "Oy to the World," indeed.

  • BornInATrailer

    Even one 'L' Michele thinks that took a lot of chootspa.

  • Lucidamente1

    You do not want to see the cards he sends out for Ramadan.

  • Extemporanus

    There are miraculous stories of Santorum burning for eight days as well.

    • Geminisunmars

      And didn't the smell drive out the money-changers or something?

      • Extemporanus

        The burning, the itching, the redness, the smelloy, how they kvetched about that Santorum!

        (Um, Jews? One word: Foreskin.)

    • Crank_Tango

      I heard Jesus turned Santorum into wine. Which eventually led to the creation of more Santorum.

      Viscous circle, that.

      • Extemporanus

        Hakuna my caca, Crank.

        The end is near…

  • flamingpdog

    Those little dreidels in the corner look like they're flipping the bird.

    • emmelemm

      They totally do!

    • MissTaken

      They aren't?

    • M.L. Rowland

      They do! Crack me up!

  • http://www.flickr.com/photos/30500320@N06/ DerrickWildcat

    Is it the Jewish God that hates homos or the Christian God?

    • http://wonkette.com Chillwillard

      All of 'em, Katie.

    • Radiotherapy

      Jesus was a lib and was down with hanging out with twelve guys. The holy ghost is a Russ-loving ditherhead. God is into S&M. Allah is totally NOT cool with the ghey. Moroni too. Zeus and Apollo were ghey. The funniest thing about supernatural beings is that the devil has been known to say: "I don't want any fags down here."

      • http://dismalpseudoscientist.wordpress.com Negligently_Joe

        Isn't there a scene in the Bible where Jesus blessed some Roman soldier's Rentboy, also too?

        • LetUsBray

          "And bless your vewy great fwiend in Wome, Biggus Diccus."

          • http://loljazzcatz.blogspot.com/ Chet Kincaid

            And his wife, Incontinentia Buttocks!

      • Boojum_Reborn

        12 guys and a hoor, mind you.

        • BornInATrailer

          Don't forget the fag hag!

  • CapnFatback

    Each card came attached to a delicious spiral ham.

  • V572 Flamb√©

    At least he didn't reproach them for snuffing Jebus.

    • Geminisunmars

      Wait until you see his Pesach cards.

  • johnnymeatworth

    Reminds me of Kinky Friedman talking about how, as a boy, he always knew when Easter was coming because other kids would come up to him and ask "Why did your people kill our Lord?"

    • SpiderCrab

      Kinky learned his lesson. He threw his political weight behind Rick Perry's candidacy.

      • johnnymeatworth

        Yeah, I was really hoping that Kinky was just laying groundwork for his own presidential bid with that–"You voted for that idiot, why NOT vote for me?"

  • edgydrifter

    Merry Jewmas!
    We're Sorry You'll All Be Burning in Hell with the Muslims Soon!

    –Team Santorum

  • PeaceWithHonor

    Trust Rick Santorum to skull-fuck irony.

    • BarackMyWorld

      I can't stop laughing at this.

  • flamingpdog

    "Peace to you this Holiday Season"

    Damn printer chopped off the line below it that said "But Bomb, bomb, bomb – bomb, bomb Iran!"

  • ChernobylSoup

    Why didn't he include the scripture passage that bans birth control?

    Oh.

  • flamingpdog

    Bill O'Reilly: The War on Christmas.
    Rick Santorum: The Wart on Christmas.

    • Nostrildamus

      Rush Limbaugh: The Warthog on Christmas.

  • Joshua Norton

    He also asked for a kosher ham sandwich and a glass of milk at the seder.

  • SudsMcKenzie

    The inquisition, lets begin
    The inquisition, look out sin
    We have our mission, to convert the Jews
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X5McSEU48Y8

  • SayItWithWookies

    I'll bet this really brightened the day of every Jew who received one — especially those who were missing the sanctimony, prejudice and ignorance of the reign of Ferdinand and Isabella.

    • MosesInvests

      Isabella is referred to in Spanish as "La Catolica"-except by Spanish-speaking Jews, who call her "La Putolica".

  • GOPCrusher

    I'm rooting on Rick to make it until Easter. Can't wait to see what his greetings to the Jews will be for that.

    • tihond

      It'll just be that one old B.C. cartoon were a menorah turns into something Christian.

    • Negropolis

      It'll be a totally patronizing:

      "We forgive you. Ahem, YOU'RE WELCOME."

  • Boojum_Reborn

    Fetes is the masculine plural of fetus?

  • Texan_Bulldog

    Where's the Happy Kwanzaa card for the blah people? Racist….

    • Loaded_Pants

      "Happy Kwanzer to All the Blahs from Team Santorum!"

    • Negropolis

      It got lost in the mail, but it was rumored to have the verse from the Bible where it talks about marking Cain for idenitification…

  • Blueb4sunrise

    He who follows me will be covered with froth.

    • Loaded_Pants

      Goes without sayin'.

  • aguacatero

    This is like calling a creationist a dinosaur!

    • Crank_Tango

      Paleo libel!

  • Dashboard Buddha

    The dreidels on the right sort of look like cartoon hands flipping the bird. I wonder if that was by accident.

    • Lionel[redacted]Esq

      MIA Libel!

    • Loaded_Pants

      I'm guessing it was. Much too subtle for Ricko & his supporters.

  • GorzoTheMighty

    So begins the next Great Disporia.

  • fartknocker

    I sincerely doubt that a Kippah was ever intended to go with sweater vests.

    • Barrelhse

      Kippahed herring?

  • Lionel[redacted]Esq

    Using a quote from Jesus for a Hanukkah card?

    Clearly Rick Santorum is a secret Muslim.

  • Lionel[redacted]Esq

    You know who else thought the Jews should follow Jesus?

    • ph7

      ZZ Top?

    • flamingpdog

      Noah Webster?

    • http://dismalpseudoscientist.wordpress.com Negligently_Joe

      Martin Luther?

    • CapnFatback

      Jesus?

    • http://dismalpseudoscientist.wordpress.com Negligently_Joe

      Mitt Romney? I mean, retroactively.

    • http://loljazzcatz.blogspot.com/ Chet Kincaid

      Bob "Serve Somebody" Dylan?

    • Guppy

      Benedict XVI Torquemada?

    • Chichikovovich

      Saul of Tarsus The Apostle Paul?

    • Angry_Marmot

      Jesús "Boom Boom" Ramirez, the popular tour guide?

    • GregComlish

      Neil Diamond?

    • Dudleydidwrong

      The pied piper of Hamlin, NJ?

    • GorzoTheMighty

      Probably not Juds..

    • Crank_Tango

      Pontius Pilate?

    • Negropolis

      Definitely not Hitler.

  • BarackMyWorld

    NOTHING SURPRISES ME ANYMORE.

    • emmelemm

      +1

  • JackObin

    If there were a god, would there be a Rick Santorum?

    • Barrelhse

      If Rick Santorum fell in the forest, would anyone give a shit?

      • ShaveTheWhales

        The Pope, maybe?

      • Fare la Volpe

        If Rick Santorum fell out of the closet, would anyone be surprised?

  • orygoon

    It's better than the reproduction lynching postcards that he sent to his black friends, though.

    • MissTaken

      The lynching postcards were for Kwanzaa.

  • Generation[redacted]

    "Holiday" season? That dirty secular humanist!

  • neiltheblaze

    Rick has a great relationship with the Jews.

    • Geminisunmars

      Some of his best friends are Jews. Like Eric Cantor.

    • Negropolis

      Don't you mean the Jjj…jahs?

  • Come here a minute

    Rick also invited Mitt Romney over for coffee.

  • Callyson

    I read that as "May your Hanukkah be bought," and thought I was looking at a Mittens ad.

  • http://wonkette.com/ Sharkey

    "And congratulations! Just by reading this card, you have automatically been upgraded to Christian."

    • Loaded_Pants

      "You're Welcome. Happy Jesus Baby Day!"

    • Negropolis

      So, now he's stepping in on the Mormonic's turf, eh?

  • http://dismalpseudoscientist.wordpress.com Negligently_Joe

    So, even assuming it's an "innocent mistake", wow.

    Good to know the people who want to replace our Representative Democracy with a Christian Theocracy totally know their holy book well enough to avoid picking a Bible quote, for the Jews, that's not only from the wrong half of the Bible, but in context, is one of the more "Screw the Pharisees" moments.

    • http://www.southsidejohnny.com/ Jukesgrrl

      Santorum is Catholic. Most Catholics aren't taught to know the Bible, Old or New Testament. Their religious education is more likely to come from the papal-issued Catechism of the Catholic Church (CCC). The Christmas and Easter stories are read from the Gospels at holiday masses and many familiar traditional stories, such as the prodigal son and the camel going through the needle's eye, are used as epistles, but I can't tell you of a single Catholic among my family and acquaintances who has actually gone to Bible study, save the ones who were students at Jesuit schools.

  • alzronnie

    In Yiddish, Rick Santorum is Chaim Yankel

    • Swampgas_Man

      See, I woulda gone w/ meshugga pisher.

  • MissTaken

    In my family when it's time to celebrate a traditional Hanukkah we decorate the tree and then listen to grandpappy tell the story of how little baby Jeebus was born in a manger. We then eat ham, lots of yummy ham. Happy Hanukkah!

    • orygoon

      My Jewish ex-neighbor Frank's mother's favorite holiday was Christmas and she bought shit for Christmas all year long. So every year I send him the most over-the-top Babby Jeebus card I can find.

      I just love those personal holiday traditions, don't you?

      • Biff

        My one Jewish friend and I have opposite traditions–he sends me Xmas cards, I send him Hanukka cards. Easter time is festive, as well.

  • HelmutNewton

    Poor Frothy can't help it. He thinks all the Jews are going to Hell anyway.

    • spends2much

      And it takes a real class act to tell them that in the form of a Hanukkah card!

  • http://loljazzcatz.blogspot.com/ Chet Kincaid

    Oh Christ.

  • http://loljazzcatz.blogspot.com/ Chet Kincaid

    Happy Ramadan! Enjoy this coupon for 1/2 off Rib Tips at Famous Dave's!

    • MosesInvests

      Come in at Happy Hour and get 2 for 1 pitchers of beer!

    • Negropolis

      *coupon only redeemable between sunrise and sunset.

      • http://loljazzcatz.blogspot.com/ Chet Kincaid

        Grop, Moses, I like your thinking. Let's form the worst marketing/PR firm ever!!

  • Nothingisamiss

    Bad for the Jews.

  • Lionel[redacted]Esq

    The worse part is that Rick paid retail for the cards.

  • BlueStateLibel

    Oh my, the stupidity…

  • SayItWithWookies

    Oh, speaking of Santorum and terrible ideas, there seems to be a good deal of wailing and gnashing of teeth over at RedState. Really, I found this much more enjoyable than the usual fare over there — even the comments.

    • BarackMyWorld

      Just in terms of statistical probability, every once in a while something reasonable must get published over there.

  • Bonzos_Bed_Time

    Romney's "Holiday Season" card: Don't worry, your people have all been baptized!

  • rickmaci

    Don't think we can pin this one on the Dick. Looks more like local campaign staff that got a little to lubed up with a frothy dose of holiday excitement.

    • Geminisunmars

      I read that at first as "a frothy dose of holiday excrement." I guess that works too.

      • rickmaci

        Exactly. LMAO.

    • Blueb4sunrise

      Nope. Sorry. Don't play nice with them. Stomp every motherfucker even remotely connected, and ESPECIALLY the candidate.

    • Negropolis

      You're judged by the company you keep. These folks are on his campaign, and a real leader takes responsibility for his staff.

      And, that's just being objective. Subjectively, this is totally something that Rick would personally do. He's certainly more gay married to Jeebus than his staff.

  • SudsMcKenzie

    Rick was also surprised that there was no difference between Katz's Delicatessen and any other restaurant in New York City. "I mean, it was exactly the same, even though it's run by Jews, primarily Jew patronship." Rick added: "There wasn't one person in Katz's Delicatessen who was screaming, '" This Gogl-Mogl is Meshuganeh".

    • http://www.southsidejohnny.com/ Jukesgrrl

      And he was sad to see they didn't have any mother-fucking iced tea to go with the pastrami on rye.

  • Barrelhse
    • Blueb4sunrise

      I propose to rename Mississippi 'Largeasshole'.

    • Dudleydidwrong

      "God bless Vespucciland…"

      • Barrelhse

        Rancho Malario.

    • http://www.southsidejohnny.com/ Jukesgrrl

      My favorite comment from one Ronni Aiello: "Just call it the Gulf of The Confederacy and let the south secede and take it with them! Good riddance to the moochers!"

    • Negropolis

      This just in: The Onion announces bankruptcy citing crushing competition from reality.

    • MosesInvests

      According to one commenter, a constituent of the guy who proposed the bill, this was most likely a joke.

      • ShaveTheWhales

        Yeah, it will be interesting to see how the committee hearing goes.

  • OC_Surf_Serf

    Yeah, Rick. Most of you Conservative Christains spell Jew "A-T-M".

    • montreal_bruin

      I'm totes stealing "Christains."

      • Loaded_Pants

        Weren't Christains on that shroud thingy?

  • Biff

    Whoa, whose side is this motherfucker on in the war on Xmas, anyway? Xmas cards not good enough?

  • KosherUnicorn

    Santorum: Happy Hanukkah Jews! Now convert and accept Jesus as your Savior!
    What a self righteous dinkus.

    Yisroel http://www.kosherunicorn.com

  • sezme

    Ok, that was a little anti-Semitic, but his Jesusween card was totally inclusive.

  • chascates

    Hey, half of his staff were ready to use a quote from The Protocols of the Elders of Zion!

  • ttommyunger

    So, this moran either has balls the size of melons trying to convert the Heebs, or he is the dumbest motherfucker on the planet. I'm going with number two (get it?). Seriously, this stuff makes me want to shit…..a wildcat.

  • Veritas78

    There wasn't enough crap to quote in the old testament?

    As I suspected, none of them have read the damn thing at all.

    • bagofmice

      Blessed shall he be who takes your little ones and dashes them against the rock!

    • Loaded_Pants

      They don't have to read it. The hierarchy read it for them & tell them how they should feel about it. Duh.

    • Barrelhse

      Like, "God said: Abraham, kill me a son!"
      Sounds kinda pro-choice.

  • BornInATrailer

    If he had the Romney war chest, he probably would have sprung for those talking cards and had Cartman yelling "Jews can't eat Christmas snow!"

  • Chichikovovich

    Well, this is better than the original card, which had Matthew 27:24-25:

    24 When Pilate saw that he could prevail nothing, but that rather a tumult was made, he took water, and washed his hands before the multitude, saying, I am innocent of the blood of this just person: see ye to it.

    25 Then answered all the people, and said, His blood be on us, and on our children.

    Rick decided to save that one for Yom Kippur.

    • MosesInvests

      Yeah, like Pontius Pilate ever *didn't* want to kill a Jew. AFAIK, he was the only Roman Procurator ever to be removed from office for excessive cruelty. You had to be mighty damn cruel for the Romans to think you were overdoing it.

      *EDIT: Corrected split infinitive. I'm a bit of a grammar, you should excuse the expression, Nazi.

    • Huevos Ocupados

      Blood libel!

  • owhatever

    Well, if they don't like it, we have Sheriff Joe building some special camps in Arizona, just for the Jews.

  • Chichikovovich

    You'd think Ricky would have paid more attention to a holiday like this. You're guaranteed lots of Santorum if you have a miraculous supply of oil.

  • Guppy

    Stay classy.

  • MinAgain

    Hey, are those dreidels in the corner flipping someone off?

  • Nostrildamus

    That takes Choot-spa!

  • mavenmaven

    Latkes Libel!

  • StarsUponThars

    Fetes don't fail me now.

  • ElPinche

    Today we're all bathing in santorum.

  • C_R_Eature

    It could have been worse. A nice visiting Kazakh journalist almost had them talked into printing several verses of the quaint but rousing traditional village song they'd been belting out in the office all afternoon.

  • Loaded_Pants

    How about Revelation 2:9?

  • http://howtosavetheworld.ca/ BZ1

    light coming from that dim bulb??

  • fuflans

    i can't help it. when i see 'santorum', i don't think about rick.

  • Negropolis

    Stay klassy, Rick.

    Hey, you guys should just be happy he didn't wish them a happy "Chaka Khan".

    • Negropolis

      I demand whorediamonds.

  • zappadoo76

    Rick's Hanukkah card isn't aimed at Jews. It's aimed at evangelical Christians.

    • Negropolis

      Which is why he sent it to Jews, right? lol

      He's a true-believing Jesus freak. He means everything he says when it comes to religion.

      • ruperto32

        Psst–the evangelicals will find out about the card. It's a ploy to get their approval.

      • Cannolele

        Rick is dumb, but he's not that dumb. (Not in your league, lol.) He wants bible thumping Christians to know that he has been pimping Jesus to Jews.

      • Bobbysox22

        Isn'tit a llittle tedious to have to have everything explained to you?

  • elburritodeluxe

    Is it me or do those dreidel look like middle fingers?

  • teebob2000

    If the word of God can be wrong, I don't want to be right!

  • finallyhappy

    good catch!