Only one more day until CPAC, and the Revolution! Your Wonkette is pissing its pants just looking at the bill of events and all the exciting opportunities to learn about how dumb liberals are. Why does the bathroom have to be so far away, anyway? Nevermind. Let’s just figure out which of these panel thingies/cocktail sex parties to visit.
Check out the full schedule here. These are some things that caught our eye:
- “How to Raise Money…the Easy Way.” A whoring seminar!
- “‘Do We Still Hold These Truths?’: The Future of the Conservative Movement.” This is a pillow fight, maybe?
- “From Fidel to Chavez: How Do We Stop the Resurgence of Socialism in Latin America.” With bombs, duh. This will be short.
- “Conservative Dating.” Let’s just copy-paste the description of this sucker, which is open to “Conservative Singles.”
TheTeaParty.net Red Carpet Event. Learn everything from how to avoid scaring away your own personal Dagny Taggart in the first five minutes of the conversation, to whether Tea Partiers and Occupiers can share something more than a dislike for bailouts.
Speaker Name: Professional Dating Coach Wayne ElisEveryone’s getting laid!
- “Political Correctness & The Wussification of America – Brad Stine, Conservative Comedian.” Sometimes we all need a laugh.
- “American Crossroads Blogger Reception.” CHECK.
- “When’s The Last Time Your Database Had a Colonoscopy?” Gross.
- “Why Am I Living in My Parent’s Basement? How the Obama Administration’s Policies Are Detrimental to Young People.” PSST: Mom, can you give me a ride to this one??
Now all we have to do is buy the mandatory tuxedo.
[CPAC, Funny furry photo from our 2010 report]
{ 220 comments }
“Conservative Dating.”
So you will be taking Riley to troll for Brietfart?
I recommend the whoring seminar. It's an important job skill in our new whore economy.
With focus on success stories such as the Tundra Grifter and the Hermanator.
whores are people too, my friend. As long as they get paid.
And as paid as they get long.
Shouldn't it be titled "“How to Raise Money…the Hard Way.” ?
“From Fidel to Chavez: How Do We Stop the Resurgence of Socialism in Latin America.”
AKA-
"How To Ruin A Country's Health & Make Bank!"
These guys probably want to go back to the policy of assassinating democratically elected leaders they don't like.
This begins at home, right?
Surveyor Marks Libel!!!111!
Damn. I wish I had the SurgiLube franchise for this event.
Yeah, I'm wondering what'll be happening over in the Book Nook…
I thought it said “American Casseroles Blogger Reception.”
I thought: "What fun!"
No hot dishes at this convention.
I'd hold out for the Late Night Shots breakout session on How to be an Insufferable Douche-Nozzle.
entitled "Beyond the Tuesday Nite Takedown"
Coach Wayne Elis…Man he's good. He took LSU to 5 bowl games.
All of them, Katie !
First!
Jim, I wish I could join you at CPAC; being surrounded by all those crazed hateful bigots and oppressive plutocrats just sounds like such a good time; certainly much better than my plans for the weekend.
Really, I hope you manage to keep your sanity.
Damn, your weekend plans must be seriously shitty if you would prefer CPAC. Sorry!
Yeah my weekend plans are really boring, certainly nothing to look forward to; I just plan on getting drunk on whine coolers and eating out.
It's the eating out that's the worst. You head downtown looking for something yummy and inevitably you end up with a hair in your mouth.
Yeah, I do prefer places that make sure their stuff is hair free. I always try to carefully prepare mine so there are no hairs.
Don't they have a symposium on "Selling Guns to the Arabs and Ammunition to the Jews"?
It's a subsection of, "Our Great American President – Bibi Netanyahu"
What time does the How to Speak "Advanced Dog Whistle" (…IF you know what we mean, and we think you do – wink wink) seminar start?
Is it possible to be a Conservative Comedian? You know, I mean intentionally funny not the kind of crazy tea-bagger funny.
I was musing that over myself. What's he gonna riff on? Lawn care?
And the kids that often trespass on said lawn?
Nick DiPaolo, but only because he reminds me of the jackasses I went to high school with.
No. Comedy is ultimately based on irony, and if conservatives had any concept of irony, they wouldn't be conservatives.
I think "Comedian" is probably used too loosely here… same with Dennis Miller.
His schtick about how we had to invade someone and Iraq drew the short straw got old after the first dozen times.
Hey, Dennis Miller gets funnier-looking every day!…
That smug asshole with the large vocabulary who used to be on SNL & HBO?
Don't forget Monday Night Football…
What the fuck was that about… what a freakin' douche.
"When was the last time the Republican Party had a colonoscopy?" Learn where shitty policy comes from in this exciting seminar!
I was about to make a Santorum joke but that would be redundant.
It's been awhile, as evidenced by my very own Santorum in the mailbox a couple days ago.
None of them, Katie.
Curse you for beating that dead horse before I could!
Absolutely terrifying. Please have Xanax Rx handy. Bring a friend/bodyguard. Wear body armour (Boba Fett?). Have safe word written in Sharpie on your underwear.
Kirk Cameron, Television and Film Actor, Filmmaker, "MONUMENTAL: In Search of America’s
National Treasure" – Marriott Ballroom*
Please, please, please go watch Kirk Cameron look for America's National Treasure up his ass. Pretty Please!!!
Guess those Growing Pains residuals are drying up. Kirk should do porn; I'd have more respect for him.
Oh he's making a lot of money from those fundamentalist films he does these days, sadly.
Kirk should do porn; I'd have more respect for him.
Methinks there's a whole other "Left Behind" series that's just waiting to be streamed on Sean Cody.
If by "America's National Treasure" you mean "Rick Santorum's buttplug," then I am SO there.
A semi-tumescent old white guy cock = national treasure?!
A semi-tumescent old white guy cock = MONUMENTAL!
Kirk who? Should have got Allen Thick as the National Treasure.
I thought that movie starred Nick Cage.
I see another cease and desist letter in his future.
I suggest American Solutions pictured above. It sounds like whiskey and bourbon.
"Learn everything from how to avoid scaring away your own personal Dagny Taggart"
Wonkette could not have written a better satire line than this. I wonder if they will sell Megyn Kelly (or Ron Paul) body pillows, for the GOP otakus http://www.nytimes.com/2009/07/26/magazine/26FOB-...
Whoah—"GOP otaku" for the win!
Where's the "How to Hate Black/Brown/Gay People More" conference? CPAC fail.
It's all of them! Especially the comedy one and the one about truths, though.
What about "Whistle-blowing tips: how to build plausible deniability into your racist statements, and act outraged when called on it."?
Perfect!
I would think "whistle blowing tips" would be something else entirely.
Well that's not something they'd talk about openly; the closeteds won't admit to it, and conservative Good Girls would never do that.
Why do you think sex with Republicans is so bad?
They don't need something for something they've already perfected and nearly cornered the market on.
Go to the comedian who thinks America has become a wussy nation–point and laugh at the audience members at random intervals. Hey, it *is* a comedy, right?
just don't call him a bigot or intolerant. They get really sensitive about that.
It clearly has become a wussy nation if one can not call it a pussy nation any more.
"I tell ya, it's rough out there. It's gettin' so a guy can't hide his latent homosexuality by beating the crap out of gays anymore! What a pussified nation!"
"Ladies and gentlemen, put your hands together for Ben's dyslexic brother, Brad Stine!"
"Brad Stine, Conservative Comedian". Brad is also an oxymoran.
Professional Dating Coach Wayne Elis
Oh, you mean The Juggler? Perfect, since he has a mouth that is custom built for cock.
What's he doing in that pic – peeking over the stall wall?
Bare butt, laying across a pillow.
It's his RentBoy.com userpic.
That pic screams volumes about the state of the current Republic party.
The resurgence of socialism in Latin America? What hole have these people been living in the last 70 years? Which brings us to our next event, the database colonoscopy…
Learn everything from how to avoid scaring away your own personal Dagny Taggart
1. Apply chloroform to rag.
2. Approach from behind.
3. Place rag over nose AND mouth.
That's the famous pick-up line: Does this towel smell like chloroform?
Screencaps of Washington, DC m4m please
Soon, soon
Good! I seem to recall you did similar sleuthing in Minneapolis or sumthin'
God, those were great last year.
CPAC is like Christmas, and, like most children, we do like our traditions.
Stay away from the teetotalling conservatives and just hang out with the party-hard conservatives.
Yes, I realize that means getting drunk with Breitbart. You can do it. Take one for the team!
“Why Am I Living in My Parent’s Basement?” “Conservative Dating" advice workshop. "The Wussification of America"
Sounds like a high percentage of CPAC attendees got picked last in gym. Which explains a lot actually.
Which is why they always jeer liberals as wimps. Kinda like how fat guys on four-wheelers equipped with beer coolers always claim to be more macho than no-body-fat Sierra Club types who spend a week hiking in the Sierra Nevadas packing in everything on their backs.
You left out the "Ronald Reagan masturbatory fantasy fan-fic workshop" which always fills up first. Get there EARLY.
Presidential Diamond Reception – Maryland Ballroom
Sponsored by: HSP Direct
Open to CPAC Diamond Sponsors only
Exactly how many whore diamonds does one need to be a CPAC Diamond Sponsor?
They demand that their whores be rated at least 3 diamonds.
Okay, all of them…
“Political Correctness & The Wussification of America – Brad Stine, Conservative Comedian.”
Wingnuts hate PC because it means they need to learn all new words so their can cloak their bigotry behind nicer language.
Case in point: "Wussification" for "Fagging up."
Will the Dating seminar cover how to discretely [sic] pick up men in the M4M section of craigslist?
Most of those who posted ads will be in attendance at the convention.
Grindr just purchased time on forty new Amazon Web Services servers for the event.
Conservative Dating is held in conjunction with Stall Etiquette and How to Defend Yourself Against Sexual Harassment Charges…
Immediately following Conservative Dating, stay for the Rohipnol workshop!
Do we bullying libruls and our huge, attendant media do anything even remotely similar to this hatefest? Just curious.
College.
No, we couldn't agree on what to call the group, what should be on the agenda, where to have the meetings, and what color the decorations should be so we just smoked a doob and went home.
This kinda gathering only works with well-assimilated borg colonies…think of the sci-fi nerds at Comicon but with a much lower collective IQ.
Burning Man
We don't do talk radio, either.
Bonnaroo? NPR even covers it.
What in the world is that pile of fur on the right? Is that supposed to be an elephant?
Jonah Goldberg wasn't available that day?
How are you so sure that's not Jonah Goldberg?
Is that Mitt Romney's close-up?
Nope – actual magic underwear, for those wondering…
Divide the free booze (in gallons, not liters, you frikkin' commie) by the count of furries. Add 10 points for every Hoveround that's been abandoned, wedged, high-sided, run aground or otherwise disabled trying to get into the non-handicap-accessible venue. Multiply by the average BMI of the panelists. Rank high to low.
Unless Orly Taitz shows up, in which case you just follow her and witness the majik!
Get her drunk enough and "the magic" will probably involve waking up in a tawdry motel in the morning.
"conservative comedian"
Poor fella, what with competition from all the jokes running for the Repubican nomination.
Time to break out the "We Are All Contras" T-shirt. That Dagney sure loves 80s kitsch.
Nothing on how to get rentboys? Whatta jip.
That picture proves that the republican party pretty much peaked with Lincoln.
St Ronald libel!!!!
Don't forget: "Usury: Decriminalizing 5000 years of humanity"
Conservative Dating: Under the stall hand signals – Larry Craig; Is it time to trade up? – Newt Gingrich; Treat yourself while traveling with someone to carry your luggage – George Rekers
There's a screening of The Undefeated on Saturday, Jim. You should go and double the attendance.
Its really just a political-themed Star Trek convention, isn't it? A chance for a bunch of socially retarded, empathy-deficient geeks to meet their fantasy heroes and reinforce their delusions (and maybe even play touch peepees) with other deluded weirdos.
As I said upthread, the only difference is that the Teatards have a much lower collective IQ than the fanboys at Comicon.
And looser connections to reality.
I seriously object to the Sci-fi con reference. I never went to one until I was quite old(youngest kid was a senior in college when I attended my first con). I was very moved by the acceptance of people of varying disability levels and although the crowd was probably 80% white- not all- and I guarantee every religion was represented(there is a sci-fi for Jesus group -not sure what they do). As a long time political activist- I think I saw more acceptance at that con of the attendees than by any political movement. I do not know about touching peepees or lady parts at the con- I am married and not interested in Klingon sex.
What, no hoverround tractor pull events?!
I'd pay a lot of Ameros to watch that shit…
How could you pass this one up?
11:00 Fire From the Heartland: The Awakening of the Conservative Woman – CPAC Theater
Starring: The Honorable Michele Bachmann (R-MN), Ann Coulter, and an all-star cast. Live introduction by Director Stephen Bannon
Holy shit. Those two in the same room?
DON'T CROSS THE STREAMS
Shudder! If I got anywhere near that "event", my uterus would rip itself from my crotch and run screaming out into the daylight.
Tapes of that presentation could be used to delay male orgasm. . . .forever.
The Awakening of the Conservative Woman…sounds like bad romance fiction for Bill-O to fap his falafel to.
"Her patriotic juices gushed forth as he mounted her (in missionary position as God intended, for the sole purpose of procreation)."
WORST VIVID MOVIE EVER!!! TWO THUMBS WAY DOWN!!
The Awakening – sounds like the beginning of the Mayan Apocolypse, starring Satan…
Eat, Pray, Hate.
Fire from the Crotchland
The Flipside of Feminism – What Conservative Women Know and Men Can’t Say by Phyllis Schlafly. I think we know what that is…
In other words. outrageously sexist bullshit is OK if it's said by a woman.
I won't cum.
The three pillars of Shlafly's counter-feminist wisdom:
1) Math is hard for girls.
2) Father knows best. Always.
3) Bitches be trippin', yo.
Needs moar live readings of Mallard Fillmore.
HEY! Isn't that Rick Santorum in the back half of the elephant?
how to avoid scaring away your own personal Dagny Taggart in the first five minutes of the conversation
Don't mention Atlas Shrugged?
No. I think the elephant just has diarrhea.
None of 'em, Katie.
Whatever you do, stay away from The Failure of Multiculturalism: How the pursuit of diversity is weakening the American Identity. They clearly don't take too kindly to gingers dirtyin' up real American blood.
Oh man. Read the whole thing. It is one laugh after another.
It might actually be interesting to hear what they have to say about Vaclev Havel.
Or it could be an hour of screeching, "ANTI-COMMIE".
Never get out of the boat, man.
"It's an elephant, a fucking elephant!! "
You left out the obligatory: "Should one fap into a dirty or a clean sock" 'Semenar' (sp?). This one will be conducted by Ted Nugent and Toby Keith using Andrew Breitbart's dick, Sean Insannity's hand and Grover Norquist's socks. You can't beat this one, heh, heh.
…so to speak.
Nudge, nudge, wink, wink.
What? No seminars on how to be a basement furry? What the hell are those two in the picture doing then?
Most importantly, what furry creature should Jim be dressed as, in those strange surroundings?
I wouldn't try any costume with a long trunk…
Well, all of those sound like good seminars to attend. However, the ones you should avoid will probably have key words like:
Lubrication
Reagan
Texas
Jail time
Underage
Pawlenty
Snuggle
That's the entirety of CPAC!
Ever hear of Speed CPACing?
I'm auditing "If You're Polling above 27%, There are too Many People In Your Tent".
Shouldn't those attending the "Conservative Dating" seminar just take the "Why Am I Living In My Parent's Basement" to learn why they are still single?
I think the diet of nothing but Cheetos and Mountain Dew probably has something to with that too; oh and the hatred of sex and general lack of social skills.
A "Conservative Dating" seminar? I thought Cyber-stalking was illegal!
Segue…..!
Conservative Comedian.
Un. Possible.
Remember when Fox tried to do a "comedy show"? All they did was repeat their regular crap but with a bigger sneer. It bombed so fast that it made that whistling sound.
Or this. "I've decided not to be funny."
Isn't a 'Dagny Taggart' pretty much the same thing as a Cleveland Steamer?
More like a Dirty Sanchez.
"Self-pity and Revenge Fantasies: Denial as Self-Image."
“Why Am I Living in My Parent’s Basement? How the Obama Administration’s Policies Are Detrimental to Young People.”
Uh, dude, you are 40 years old and have been living in your mom's garage since Bush the First was president. It has nothing to do with Obama's policies and everything to do with the fact that you are a loooooooooooooooozer.
I suggest that you just hang out in the CPAC bathroom, and let the magnificent events come to you.
This CPAC thing is a joke. Right, Jim? Something you quoted from The Onion?
There is no way there could be that much ass-hattery in one place at one time!
50 people will show up. Fox will report it as millions.
The Republiklan Party never has a colonoscopy, but provides them to the American people on a daily basis.
Oatmeal >>> Wall. They are fucking giving that blowhard fucker Ollie North a fucking American Hero award.
There's a reason for treason.
Fresh of his world tour, where he received the Iranian Hero award for exactly the same reason.
North is getting the award only because Goebbels failed to RSVP…
+100.
Wait… might that "conservative comedian" be this guy?
"Why does the bathroom have to be so far away, anyway?"
All the cool kids these days blog from within the bathroom with their iPads.
And at CPAC after Lubenfecal's hat trick will they be singing?
♪ Rmoney is nothing, he's a dick you see ♪
“How to Raise Money…the Easy Way.”
That is easy. Just offer BJs at a CPAC conference.
Ha ha. It looks like you fell for an Onion article, just like that abortionplex guy.
Eisenhower Farewell to Nation – CPAC Theater
Live introduction by President Eisenhower’s granddaughter Susan Eisenhower. Q&A to follow with Susan Eisenhower and the Committee for the Republic’s John Henry
Wait….what are they going to do? Claim Eisenhower was a proto-hipster and "being ironic" by decrying military spending?
They are going to have that pimp kid present an edited video of Eisenhower's original speech.
I think Ike would totally disavow the Republicans of today.
No lie.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Susan_Eisenhower
"Although a lifelong member of the Republican Party, Eisenhower endorsed Barack Obama for president of the United States in 2008.[7][8][9] Eisenhower announced on August 21, 2008 that she was leaving the Republican Party and becoming an independent.[10]"
I think someone's made a huge mistake.
The CPAC organizers need to get on the ball and edit that wikipedia entry, pronto!
President John Tyler’s grandson says Newt Gingrich is a 'jerk'
http://www.politico.com/news/stories/0112/72089.h...
Wow….his father was 75 when he had him…the father was 63 when this guy was born…and Tyler was born in 1790.
Elderly people getting busy really fucks with your sense of historical continuity.
Hipster Ike.
Once a year, like the salmon, they get together to determine whether furries or conservatives get less tail.
Be sure not to miss: "Why Am I Sucking Cock in My Parents Basement – Blogging from the conservative closet!"
Looks like an excellent time and place for a cleansing meteor.
I wouldn't fuck Ann Coulter with Dagny Taggart's cock!
I wouldn't fuck Michele Bachman with Ann Coulter's cock.
“Political Correctness & The Wussification of America – Brad Stine, Conservative Comedian.”
These sorts of creatures do not exist in nature. Never trust anyone who moves his "e" to seem less ethnic. This so-called comedian is either a hologram or absolutely not a comedian. Here is a sample gag: "Liberals. AMIRITE?"
All I want to know is if Jimmy "The Rent is Too Damn High" MacMillan is going to be there again this year.
"“‘Do We Still Hold These Truths?’: The Future of the Conservative Movement.”"
Psst, conservatives – the rest of that sentence is "to be self-evident, that all men are created equal" – and no, you don't.
Which one is the the "Bears and Cubs" event?
"I hate to say it, but this place is getting to me. I think I'm getting the Fear."
"We're right in the middle of a fucking reptile zoo! And somebody's giving booze to these goddamn things!"
Be sure not to miss THE Event of the Year, the "We Love Santorum Foam T-Dance Party", hosted by Dr. Marcus Bachmann, Rep. David Dreier and Sen. Lindsey Graham, to be held inside the biggest, deepest Log Cabin closet in the GOP Suite right after the wives
finally pass outgo to bed. Speaking of wives, got "Baggage"? Bring it! – Our "Luggage Lifters" are available all night long!Conservative Comedian?
Hahahahahahahahahahaha!!
The brilliant thing about conservative comedy is that so little of it is intentional.
Kinda like a "peace warrior" or a "vegetarian carnivore."
Wow, this sounds like a real hootenanny, I'm sorry I'm going to miss it. I'll be breathlessly awaiting the recaps from our Wonkette folks.
Godspeed gentlemen.
Is that a chicken hawk holding up the "American Solutions" sign?
Kidding aside, are we aware that these "topics" are straight out of the Christian Reconstruction (i.e., "Christian Nation") handbook? This crap is straight up dominionism 101 (which by all accounts on the Christo-fascist right doesn't exist).
"Conservative Dating" ???
Is this some kind of homosexualist thing? Are wet suits involved?
CPAC
CPAC CONFERENCE 2012 OFFICIAL SCHEDULE UPDATE!
FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE!
SPECIAL "OPENING" PARTY ADDED TO SCHEDULE FOR FRIDAY NIGHT, FEB. 10, 2012!!!!
Feb. 8, 2012, Washington, D.C.—CPAC Conference 2012 has announced a very special "opening" night addition to its weekend schedule–an Adult Entertainment Industry Cocktail Hour, Reception, Orgy and Swinging Party, sponsored by the Adult Entertainment Industry Association. Join co-hosts Ron Jeremy, Jenna Jamison and Daniel Radcliffe for a wild evening of fun, frolic, adult entertainment and political discourse! This will be held in Main Ballroom No. 2, Level X, from 7 p.m. to 2 a.m., Friday, Feb. 10, 2012, at the Marriott Wardman Park Hotel, the location of the conference. Free admission. Finger food, appetizers, live adult entertainment, dancers, special private booths and other private entertainment all night! Co-sponsored by Trojan and Viagra.
11:30 — How to shop for hair spray. Callista Gingrich.
12 noon — Let's go for a ride! Mitt Romney's dog.
12:30 — How to skip the Newt Gingrich luncheon address for a nooner upstairs — Callista Gingrich.
1:00 — The Ronald McDonald You Don't Really Know — Newt Gingrich.
1:30 — Special Event: Right-to-Life raffle to club a baby seal.
I'll bet you ten thousand dollars you can't attend all of them, Rick.
Chuck Woolery is CPAC's Hollywood insider? I understand Clint Eastwood or Jon Voight not being available, but what the heck is John Ratzenberger doing this weekend that is so important?
“Conservative Dating.”
Is this where conservative men pretend to like those icky girls? Or where they learn how to troll for hunky rent-boys?
If I'd known you were gonna be there, Jim, I would have bought a ticket.
I could blow out and hardspray my hair, plaster my face with medium foundation and bright make-up(I have some bright red stuff from my annual zombie make-up), put on my gray wool suit, wear my elephant pin(it is made of elephant poop and recycled paper- really- helps the elephants of Sri Lanka), buy a pair of pantyhose, use an alligator bag I inherited from my mom and sneak in. But I'd rather just get the mammogram tomorrow as scheduled.
Is that Victoria Jackson standing behind the elephant? Is that why the elephant looks so scared?
Via RightWingWatch:
Following speeches from Senate Minority Leader Mitch McConnell and Rep. Michele Bachmann, CPAC is hosting the panel “The Failure of Multiculturalism: How the pursuit of diversity is weakening the American Identity” with Peter Brimelow, the founder and head of VDARE.com.
VDARE is a White Nationalist website, run by Brimelow, which frequently publishes the works of anti-Semitic and racist writers and is named after Virginia Dare, who is believed to be the first child of English parents born in the Americas. Brimelow, an immigrant from Great Britain, expresses his fear of the loss of America’s white majority, blames non-white immigrants for social and economic problems and urges the Republican Party to give up on minority voters and focus on winning the white vote. He also said that a New York City subway is the same as an Immigration and Naturalization Service waiting room, “an underworld that is not just teeming but also almost entirely colored.”
Please ask Jim Newell to attend in support of Ginger Rights!
Wait does this mean I have to stop
drinkingbaking with my fave vanilla extract?http://imagehost.vendio.com/a/25638868/aview/_BVt...
No more chocolate cakes with it!
“Conservative Dating.” Let’s just copy-paste the description of this sucker, which is open to “Conservative Singles.”
TheTeaParty.net Red Carpet Event. Learn everything from how to avoid scaring away your own personal Dagny Taggart in the first five minutes of the conversation, to whether Tea Partiers and Occupiers can share something more than a dislike for bailouts.
Speaker Name: Professional Dating Coach Wayne Elis
Everyone’s getting laid!
It would be more interesting if they had Millionaire Matchmaker Patty there. But I don't think she'd last long…
Here's a cute one: "How Citizen Journalists Can Make an Impact", like James O'Sleeze?
Their dating targets are fictional characters and Occupiers? Good luck with that, CPACers.
I've never heard of this Brad Stine fellow, but my guess is that he is not as funny as presumptive co-religionists Ben Stine or Jerry Stinefeld, nor even non comics such as Albert Einstine, Professor Frankenstine or even Big Beer Stine.
The only weekend where the DC hookers take a vacation.
I'm sure those who have the pleasure of dining at Chez Soros appreciate that.
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