FOR YOUR OWN PROTECTION  4:15 pm February 8, 2012

Flying Spy-Death Machines, Coming to an Airspace Over You

by Kirsten Boyd Johnson

Just like in the movies, with blood and everything!

Americans seem a tad unhappy with the club of corrupt kleptocrats running their government these days; seems about as good a time as any for Congress to give the go ahead to the military and private corporations to fill our skies with stealth spy-death machines to help keep an eye on protesters traffic conditions, maybe? To be fair, it must be incredibly annoying for the Department of Homeland Security to have to sit there combing Twitter all day long trying to figure out who needs some reedumacating, in Gitmo. And anyway, why should the CIA be the only ones having all the surveillance drone FUN?

Plus, the military needs something to do with the $40 billion in unmanned drones it plans to buy over the next ten years!

From the AP:

The FAA is also required under the bill [passed by Congress] to provide military, commercial and privately-owned drones with expanded access to U.S. airspace currently reserved for manned aircraft by Sept. 30, 2015. That means permitting unmanned drones controlled by remote operators on the ground to fly in the same airspace as airliners, cargo planes, business jets and private aircraft.

Currently, the FAA restricts drone use primarily to segregated blocks of military airspace, border patrols and about 300 public agencies and their private partners. Those public agencies are mainly restricted to flying small unmanned aircraft at low altitudes away from airports and urban centers.

Within nine months of the bill’s passage, the FAA is required to submit a plan on how to safely provide drones with expanded access.

Yes, perhaps “drone safety” would be a good idea. Field tests of U.S. drones are so far not proving very safe for Pakistani children, according to this recent report from the Bureau of Investigative Journalism:

Speaking publicly for the first time on the controversial CIA drone strikes, Obama claimed last week they are used strictly to target terrorists, rejecting what he called ‘this perception we’re just sending in a whole bunch of strikes willy-nilly’.

‘Drones have not caused a huge number of civilian casualties’, he told a questioner at an on-line forum. ‘This is a targeted, focused effort at people who are on a list of active terrorists trying to go in and harm Americans’.

But research by the Bureau has found that since Obama took office three years ago, between 282 and 535 civilians have been credibly reported as killed including more than 60 children. A three month investigation including eye witness reports has found evidence that at least 50 civilians were killed in follow-up strikes when they had gone to help victims. More than 20 civilians have also been attacked in deliberate strikes on funerals and mourners. The tactics have been condemned by leading legal experts.

Yes yes, but of course those are the “Pakistani child-killer” kind of drone, and the law passed by Congress only allows the surveillance kind of — oh wait, no it doesn’t. Oh well. HIDE, EVERYONE? [AP/Bureau of Investigative Journalism via Glenn Greenwald]

 
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{ 155 comments }

MrFizzy February 8, 2012 at 4:20 pm

I wonder if there's a penalty for shooting them down if they kill your dog with missiles.

Biel_ze_Bubba February 8, 2012 at 4:30 pm

I wonder if there's a penalty for shooting them down, period. There's certainly parts of the One-Star State where they'd come home perforated like county highway speed limit signs.

Jukesgrrl February 8, 2012 at 7:04 pm

If your dog is in your battle-ready house instead of on the roof of your car, no problemo.

SorosBot February 8, 2012 at 4:20 pm

This is good news for the Decepticons.

Numbat_Dundee February 8, 2012 at 4:21 pm

The drones will no doubt be guided by a computer. Computers can be hacked into. Juilan Assange was a very good hacker once. Just joining the dots here…

SorosBot February 8, 2012 at 4:31 pm

Hell, didn't the Iranians already hack into one and bring it down for study?

MinAgain February 8, 2012 at 7:33 pm

Skynet says "hey".

Baconzgood February 8, 2012 at 4:21 pm

I for one welcome our un-maned spy robot overlord planes.

smokefilledroommate February 8, 2012 at 4:21 pm

Welcome to the Terrordrone.

MOG2410 February 8, 2012 at 4:35 pm

Exactly, now bow to the overlords.

LiveToServeYa February 8, 2012 at 4:22 pm

Privately-owned drones, eh? Say, if we all chip in, can we buy a Wonkette drone? We'll think of something to do with it, I'm sure.

CapnFatback February 8, 2012 at 4:25 pm

We'll arm it with grade-A snark. It'lll be our very own Marvin the Paranoid Android!

smokefilledroommate February 8, 2012 at 4:27 pm

first assignment CPAC

CapnFatback February 8, 2012 at 4:32 pm

We'll have to be careful that Breitbart doesn't try to feel up its missiles.

bagofmice February 8, 2012 at 7:41 pm

If someone got a toy blimp, printed the Ron Paul "revolution" logo onto it, and snapped a microphone camera bit onto it, you could have some fun.

Negropolis February 9, 2012 at 12:40 am

I've always wanted to shout: Fire the snark cannons!

Fare la Volpe February 8, 2012 at 4:34 pm

If the Paultards bought a blimp, the Wonkeratti can buy a drone.

Biel_ze_Bubba February 8, 2012 at 4:39 pm

Congress is chock full of them, and so are most state legislatures … but I don't think we can afford one.

actor212 February 8, 2012 at 5:06 pm

That's right, or else we'll have a drone gap and Gawker will be free to stalk us without fear of retaliation.

THIS MUST NOT STAND!

Biff February 8, 2012 at 8:20 pm

What's a warblog without a drone, I ask?

GorzoTheMighty February 8, 2012 at 5:48 pm

If it is the Wonkette Drone wouldn't it just fly around in a circle? Just sayin..

Jukesgrrl February 8, 2012 at 7:06 pm

Can we paint it ginger?

extreme_left February 9, 2012 at 3:27 pm

I don't think the Wonk.drone would stay aloft for too long on account of all the Vodka.

dijetlo February 8, 2012 at 4:22 pm

I can hardly wait for the "Rootmydrone" android app that let's you take control of government death machines via a cell phone running Honeycomb or later.
We are America, after all, random acts of digital violence is what we do.

HateMachine February 8, 2012 at 5:12 pm

After all the times I've wished for the ability to blow up other cars on the road with my mind, I finally will be able to call in air strikes on these poor bastards. Even if they're unarmed, I can at least crash them into the windshield.

GOPCrusher February 8, 2012 at 5:27 pm

Probably be an expansion pack for Call Of Duty:Modern Warfare. Remote pilot a Predator drone armed with Hellfire missiles from the comfort of your own X-Box.

Chillwillard February 8, 2012 at 4:23 pm

Isn't this how Skynet started?

Biel_ze_Bubba February 8, 2012 at 4:31 pm

First, they get on the GOP primary ballot…

BaldarTFlagass February 8, 2012 at 4:23 pm

Of course, a Cessna 172 and some surplus wing-mounted Sidewinder missiles would level the playing field.

Joshua Norton February 8, 2012 at 4:23 pm

privately-owned drones

Hmmm. Best job description of a Republican congress-critter yet.

Biff February 8, 2012 at 8:22 pm

They do drone on, and they're bought and paid for too.

CapnFatback February 8, 2012 at 4:23 pm

The future is now! It will be like if The Jetsons were directed by John Woo!

BaldarTFlagass February 8, 2012 at 4:27 pm

And when they arm the drones with the Hellfire missiles, it'll be like John Woo is directing!

Woo-hoo!!

CapnFatback February 8, 2012 at 4:55 pm

Aha! I sneaked my edit in on time! With CPAC coming up, I musta had Furries on the brain.

BaldarTFlagass February 8, 2012 at 7:10 pm

Shit, I just thought you were talking about that neocon lawyer John Yoo, which even made your comment funnier. Yoo, woo, wtf

MittBorg February 8, 2012 at 10:06 pm

And I was thinking politician David Wu. Whatevs, I guess.

cheetojeebus February 8, 2012 at 4:31 pm

Release the white doves! (in slow mo) with little frikkin lasers strapped on their heads.

Negropolis February 9, 2012 at 12:41 am

I'd pay to see it if it was The Jetson's as envisioned by Quentin Tarantino.

Schmannnity February 8, 2012 at 4:23 pm

Fourth Amendment? So 18th Century.

bagofmice February 8, 2012 at 7:44 pm

It is. The notion that a machine somewhere in this network of machines we live within today won't be able to record things is laughable.

Bonzos_Bed_Time February 8, 2012 at 4:23 pm

U.S. Drones: Coming soon to a wedding reception near you!

chascates February 8, 2012 at 4:23 pm

Hey, once global warming really gets worse we'd all be living underground any way. Now, if they come up with robotic assassin worms . . .

orygoon February 8, 2012 at 4:25 pm

I tried living underground back in Texas, but the fire ants put an end to that.

orygoon February 8, 2012 at 4:23 pm

Just who, exactly, owns privately-owned drones?

smokefilledroommate February 8, 2012 at 4:28 pm

privately-owned people

MissTaken February 8, 2012 at 4:30 pm

Job creators, duh.

chascates February 8, 2012 at 4:33 pm

Erik Prince

actor212 February 8, 2012 at 4:49 pm

Privately owned drones are people too, my friend!

Wait…make that "3/5 of people, too, my friend!"

HateMachine February 8, 2012 at 5:15 pm

I do, after I hack the previously government-owned ones. If Iran can do it, I'm sure there will be a tutorial available on the internet sooner or later.

GOPCrusher February 8, 2012 at 5:29 pm

Hacking Drones For Dummies. Available on Amazon.

Jukesgrrl February 8, 2012 at 7:10 pm

And ready to be mailed to you by a minimum-wage-slave on the verge of collapse due to dangerous working conditions.

edgydrifter February 8, 2012 at 4:26 pm

After the elections are over, I figure I can pick up one of those Ron Paul blimps cheap to use as an anti-drone barrage balloon over my lair.

Gratuitous World February 8, 2012 at 4:26 pm

Under this bill, Congress mandated the drones can't collectively bargain, so they'll likely be fragmented, underpaid, overworked and generally pissed.

Negropolis February 9, 2012 at 12:42 am

LOL!

And, don't even think about striking. Well, you know, the other kind of striking.

BaldarTFlagass February 8, 2012 at 4:26 pm

Shit, and I just spent 1500 bucks on a privacy fence around my swimming pool.

MOG2410 February 8, 2012 at 4:37 pm

They won't hurt that, just the people in the pool.

YasserArraFeck February 8, 2012 at 6:22 pm

I'm getting into the pool canopy business. Suck on that, Big Brother!

bagofmice February 8, 2012 at 7:46 pm

Now I want to see what you're planning to do in the pool.

slowhansolo February 8, 2012 at 4:27 pm

They're going through an awful lot of trouble just to catch me picking my nose or tossing off into the laundry.

GOPCrusher February 8, 2012 at 5:31 pm

You don't live in Oklahoma, do you?

coolhandnuke February 8, 2012 at 4:27 pm

If you want to get rid of the drones put John McCain in command. Within months he'd have crashed landed all of them.

YasserArraFeck February 8, 2012 at 4:27 pm

Forget about the flying variety – be more concerned about the hordes of drones that went a'voting yesterday – a much greater danger to our civil liberties

Jukesgrrl February 8, 2012 at 7:14 pm

Jeebus will protect them from airborne evil. You, not so much.

Monsieur_Grumpe February 8, 2012 at 4:28 pm

I just know the NRA is going to declare that every citizen has the constitutional and God given right to own their own drone(s).

chascates February 8, 2012 at 4:34 pm

The Second Amendment guarantees me an anti-aircraft gun. Sure is a bitch to reload the shells, though.

Baconzgood February 8, 2012 at 4:29 pm

I'd like to know exactly how those bees are spying on us. BUILD THE DAMN SKY WALL!

ifthethunderdontgetya February 8, 2012 at 4:30 pm

‘Drones have not caused a huge number of civilian casualties’, Obama told a questioner at an on-line forum. ‘This is a targeted, focused effort at people who are on a list of active terrorists trying to go in and harm Americans’.

Cool story.
~

SayItWithWookies February 8, 2012 at 4:30 pm

This is bad news for the private prison industry — I mean, when you have a whole country that's treated like cellblocks you really don't need to incarcerate anyone further, do you?

Dashboard Buddha February 8, 2012 at 4:31 pm

Maybe I'm feeling negative because my current job is winding down (I march in March) and I've got fuck all to do and I'd rather be home packing cuz basically all I do all day is do a bit of work – surf a lot – do a little work – surf a lot, etc.

Anyway, yeah – negative.

I used to teach history and I still enjoy reading it. In my quieter moments, after reading about someone alive in the 1930s, I think…I wonder at what point that person recognized that it was all going to shit. Now I realize that, while I will never be in a history book, I am just like that person. The loss of civil liberties…spying on American citizens…denying food to American citizens. I'm probably later than most folks when it comes to figuring this stuff out, but yeah…this is what an end to an era looks like…and it's happening in my lifetime.

Fuck.

jus_wonderin February 8, 2012 at 5:41 pm

Thanks, DB!! A quart of milk, cakes we like, and razor blades. Got it!!

Negropolis February 9, 2012 at 12:44 am

How could you forget the Cedar Cheeze?

ttommyunger February 8, 2012 at 7:13 pm

The good news: a hundred years from now we won't give a fuck.

Dashboard Buddha February 8, 2012 at 7:31 pm

I'm trying hard to not give a fuck now…I don't think I have enough booze though.

ttommyunger February 8, 2012 at 8:04 pm

It never comes when you're trying. Relax, just don't give a fuck. I'm there most of the time and I don't even drink or do drugs nowadays. 'Course I'm miserable, but at least I don't give a fuck.

Jukesgrrl February 8, 2012 at 7:16 pm

I just got finished with Spies of the Balkans by Alan Furst and that was my very thought. This is what it will be like. But with more advanced electronics.

Dashboard Buddha February 8, 2012 at 7:31 pm

I have put that on my wishlist.

DemmeFatale February 8, 2012 at 10:02 pm

Don't despair, you always have us!

Fukui_sanYesOta February 8, 2012 at 10:54 pm

I've just been re-reading my Furst novels. They really are quite ridiculously evocative and well-written.

Jukesgrrl February 9, 2012 at 1:01 am

They are among my favorites.I also admire Philip Kerr's Bernie Gunther novels for a similar ambiance.Are people so brave today?

MissNancyPriss February 9, 2012 at 1:46 am

I feel exactly the same way. But…it'll be okay. :) ?

VinnyThePooh February 9, 2012 at 7:47 am

I know how you feel. They're pushing me out in two weeks. Five minutes after my boss gave me the news, the Overlords sent out an e-mail about our banner year. An hour after that, HR posted job positions elsewhere that I was never offered.

Dashboard Buddha February 9, 2012 at 9:00 am

Ugh…nice knife to the back there. In my case, it's kind of a blessing. I don't know what I'll be able to do for work just yet, but I'll have UI. And, being completely honest, I suck at this job.

prommie February 8, 2012 at 4:32 pm

I find it difficult to fap when robot spy-drones are watching me.

Fare la Volpe February 8, 2012 at 4:37 pm

I kinda like it…

jus_wonderin February 8, 2012 at 5:41 pm

It sure beats that creepy ceiling cat.

MOG2410 February 8, 2012 at 4:39 pm

Really? I would think it would enhance the experience. Wave for the camera with your other hand.

jus_wonderin February 8, 2012 at 5:42 pm

Other hand?

MOG2410 February 8, 2012 at 6:21 pm

Ah, I see.

Negropolis February 9, 2012 at 12:45 am

Two-fisted Wonk wank FTW!

Dashboard Buddha February 8, 2012 at 5:47 pm

I think that's the point.

Nostrildamus February 8, 2012 at 7:09 pm

It's when they ring the doorbell that you've really got to watch out.

BarackMyWorld February 8, 2012 at 4:32 pm

Now I want a remote-controlled airplane.

BaldarTFlagass February 8, 2012 at 4:33 pm

I think I had that comic book at top when I was a kid.

leek801 February 8, 2012 at 5:15 pm

I KNOW I had that comic when I was a kid. I remember that cover really well. I came here to say that and you beat me. Darn. Phooey.

Dudleydidwrong February 8, 2012 at 4:33 pm

I welcome the drones. I'm clear: grow house well hidden, the still is fully underground, and my sex-slave operation is, er, elsewhere. But I want one of those drones to get good pictures of my hot next-door neighbor lady when she's sunning herself. Her fucking husband put up a high fence and my cardboard periscope won't do the job any more.

HateMachine February 8, 2012 at 5:33 pm

Just get a DIY drone: kite with a camera attached.

johnnyzhivago February 8, 2012 at 4:33 pm

I hearby announce the formation of the NDA – the National Drone Association. You'll have to pull the controller from my cold, clamy hand.

YasserArraFeck February 8, 2012 at 6:25 pm

It already exists. You may know it as The Tea Party.

hagajim February 8, 2012 at 4:33 pm

So much for hanging out nude in my backyard.

BigDumbRedDog February 8, 2012 at 4:33 pm

Privately owned? I'm totally getting a drone for myself. This will make my stalking sooo much easier.

UnholyMoses February 8, 2012 at 4:34 pm

Wonder how this would've gone over if Bush II had proposed it. (Ya know, folks, the GOP will gain power again — not this year … I hope … ohdeargoddon'tletitbethisyear! — and I can't wait to see my fellow lefties freak the fuck out over this at that time).

On the bright side, someone has to make all those drones, so they're technically JERB CREATORZ!!!!!!

Negropolis February 9, 2012 at 12:47 am

Yeah, but how many border security agents do they get rid of?

johnnyzhivago February 8, 2012 at 4:35 pm

BTW, I REALLY DO want my own drone – get a load of this – from a little "tri-copter" thing you can go and buy today:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=74pZ3sOU27k

Fare la Volpe February 8, 2012 at 4:36 pm

Corporations are drones too, my friend.

Wait…

Slim_Pickins February 8, 2012 at 4:36 pm

Show me in the Constitution where it says unmanned drones can use civilian airspace.

DerrickWildcat February 8, 2012 at 4:37 pm

I think they will be safe because they will only be used on bad people.

Jukesgrrl February 8, 2012 at 7:19 pm

Given what your computer looks like, I believe building a drone would fit perfectly within your skill set.

MittBorg February 8, 2012 at 10:21 pm

I was just thinking the exact same thing, having finally found that photo!~

Ducksworthy February 8, 2012 at 4:40 pm

OMG! I just realized that I'm now getting the majority of my "news" intake from Wonkette. Sorry Jon Stewart.

ttommyunger February 8, 2012 at 7:14 pm

He's off this week, so you are forgiven.

actor212 February 8, 2012 at 4:41 pm

Wait…"Privately owned drones"?

So my dream of a 24 hour webcam on Angelina Jolie could soon be a reality?

MittBorg February 8, 2012 at 10:22 pm

I think she's got more money than you, bud, which means she can afford a better range of drone-jamming/destroying devices.

Lionel[redacted]Esq February 8, 2012 at 4:41 pm

In the future, we will mark this as the day that Cox/Estes and Air Hogs took over the United States.

Monsieur_Grumpe February 8, 2012 at 4:43 pm

When Skynet becomes self aware it might not be such a good idea to have lots of these drones flying around. I'm just saying.

Biel_ze_Bubba February 8, 2012 at 4:44 pm

If they can take out some of the idiots driving on the Garden State Parkway, this may not be a bad thing.

prommie February 8, 2012 at 5:03 pm

Just don't drive on it mid-day, thats when the amatuers are out, rush hour, that road moves, man. 80 mph with about one carlength separation.

Biel_ze_Bubba February 8, 2012 at 5:14 pm

Because if you allow any greater separation, some jackass will cut in front of you. Some privately-owned Hellfire missiles would come in handy out there.

MittBorg February 8, 2012 at 10:23 pm

Looks like I'm'a have to stop driving in NJ.

johnnyzhivago February 8, 2012 at 4:46 pm

I'm looking at this differently – instead of Hoverounds when we're too fat to get up and move, use drones. Drones to go shopping! Drones to get the leaves out of the gutter! Drones to go to parent teacher night at school!

Drones could be the boost this country needs!!! What's Clint Eastwood's phone number?

DemmeFatale February 8, 2012 at 10:18 pm

Ugh! Parent-teacher night!
Something is just WRONG about a school at night!

MittBorg February 8, 2012 at 10:24 pm

Nah, Japan's developed something WAY cooler. Giant exoskeletons that you can strap into a la Ripley in Alienz Part Elebenty Bajillion. Less of a footprint, literally, and I b'leev they're testing them on Oldz as we speak.

Steverino247 February 8, 2012 at 4:54 pm

Every so often a certain Sheriff Department's chopper is grounded because they get caught using the IR camera to check out people in hot tubs and jacuzzis. So much for getting a hummer in the pool…

Jukesgrrl February 8, 2012 at 7:25 pm

So that's why Sheriff Paul Babeau (friend of McCain and Arpaio and current candidate for Congress from AZ) was so hellbent on getting a helicopter for nowhere-near-the-border Pinal County.

Biff February 8, 2012 at 8:35 pm

Sounds like San Bernardino to me. Wonder if they still have that Apache…

prommie February 8, 2012 at 5:02 pm

Girls, you may all secretly pee in the shower, but do you know that us menfolk, at least those of us with proper "yards," all pee in the yard? So much for that precious American freedom now.

Jukesgrrl February 8, 2012 at 7:26 pm

But the upside is your lawn might stay green.

bagofmice February 8, 2012 at 7:50 pm

Gotta mark your territory?

DemmeFatale February 8, 2012 at 10:21 pm

Does it keep away the deer?

prommie February 9, 2012 at 10:12 am

Purely because we are too lazy to go inside.

MilwaukeeKent February 8, 2012 at 11:11 pm

Don't let these stories get out! Sometimes my wife reads over my shoulder. No, not when I pee in the yard, when I read Wonkette. Next you'll tell them we actually are capable of doing the laundry, and probably screwed it up the first time on purpose. Sheesh!

Indiepalin February 8, 2012 at 5:05 pm

What no one is discussing here are the hideously inflated drone baggage fees

jus_wonderin February 8, 2012 at 5:46 pm

Is is necessary to say Unmanned Drone?

Which brings up the question, do you know who else like MANNED drones?

C_R_Eature February 8, 2012 at 8:41 pm

Mann Coulter?

Negropolis February 9, 2012 at 12:51 am

Clay Aiken?

joobajooba February 8, 2012 at 6:37 pm

Here's your flying spy death machine: https://fbcdn-sphotos-a.akamaihd.net/hphotos-ak-s

It landed in Waziristan

MittBorg February 8, 2012 at 10:26 pm

Trickssssssssy!

owhatever February 8, 2012 at 7:09 pm

I wants me one of them new Harley-Davidson drones with lots of chrome, but they keep denying they have built any. Yeah. Right. It's my constitutional right under the freedom to do whatever the hell I want.

bagofmice February 8, 2012 at 7:52 pm

Just chrome plate one of these. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EYvTJnWrH2Q&fe…!

ttommyunger February 8, 2012 at 7:17 pm

Joy-Stick Combat. Just like a video game. Wet work is so 20th Century.

MittBorg February 8, 2012 at 10:26 pm

Wetwork! Meatspace.

ttommyunger February 8, 2012 at 10:42 pm

Yup, but where you get some on you.

Negropolis February 9, 2012 at 12:54 am

Joy-Stick Combat

That's what the kids are calling it these days, eh?

ttommyunger February 9, 2012 at 1:35 pm

Fighting with myself?

Jukesgrrl February 8, 2012 at 7:28 pm

So THIS is why I never got the jet pack promised to me when I was in fifth grade?

MinAgain February 8, 2012 at 7:35 pm

"stealth spy-death machines"

Isn't stealth pretty much the defining quality of a spy?

Designer_Rants February 8, 2012 at 8:44 pm

"But research by the Bureau has found that since Obama took office three years ago, between 282 and 535 civilians have been credibly reported as killed including more than 60 children."

Guns don't kill people, Presidents kill people?

C_R_Eature February 8, 2012 at 8:44 pm

Drones? Hell, I'm holding out for a geosynchronous spy satellite/zero-gee Tiki bar.

What? It is the Future, aint it? They promised us Flying Cars. Flying Cars, dammit!

BZ1 February 8, 2012 at 8:57 pm

privately-owned drones? which ridiculously monomanicac would want one?; whoops, forget Spaceman Spiff (the Newtster)

DemmeFatale February 8, 2012 at 10:29 pm

Try not to lose your lunch when you imagine the TRUMP Drone.

ShaveTheWhales February 8, 2012 at 11:18 pm

It'll be too HUUUGE to get off the ground.

Negropolis February 9, 2012 at 12:56 am

It'd be the largest, most luxurious drone evah. Gold-plated. It's gonna be EWGE. Klass out the ass!

Negropolis February 9, 2012 at 12:33 am

I read Super Sad True Love Story, a year or two back, and I totally know where this is all going. That wasn't a fiction, it was a prediction. We've got them up here flying along the border, because, you know, all them damned Canadian turrists, right? The one guy they did catch was some middle-aged Czech in a speedo trying to cross the St. Clair River at night…and he was actually caught by some late-night fisherman and reported to border security. So, what the hell are the drones and border cameras for, again?

Silly, Americans. Where have you been? We have always been at war with Texistan.

KommunistKitty February 9, 2012 at 10:55 am

Thanks Hal!

CapnFatback February 9, 2012 at 12:27 am

Wu's on first?

MittBorg February 9, 2012 at 12:38 am

No, no, that was Hu.

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